A few things.

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I was so trapped, still might be?  A visitor, the night before yesterday, helped.  Allowed for a call to my mother, and began a return on an item.  I... was stuck.  The return is not only considered back, but the correct item is on it's way.  Not in the mail, or whatnot, but, in the process.  The return sent, and accepted.  As well, a bit more.

I helped yesterday, someone else.  Should I have helped someone else when I need to do things here?  Well, I looked at it as an opportunity to break out.  And, so, I helped.  Nothing difficult., or fancy.  More like a fetcher, mostly.  Need a philips?  Sure.  Hold that so I can mark for a drill.  Okay.  I did help get a hitch attached to a truck, but that was much lighter work than it sounds.  Much of the day, if a quarter of it was a bit of shopping in town, for hardware parts.

My mistake was not having fluid on hand.  My throat is a mess this morning.  Vinegar with a dash of water has helped this morning.  But it's still very rough.  I am hydrating as well as I can beyond that.  Hmm, I'll bet hot fatted coffee might help even more?  It should be about ready to make.  Finished at about 19:00... was home by then.  Crashed pretty much immediately.  Woke several times through the night, but didn't actually get out of bed until 05:00 or so.

I may have the fatted coffee, and go back to bed.  A few more hours.  For as little as I did, I work out.  But, I think I can get to work today, on the cages.  Just, not quite yet.  It's cold, baby.  Very cold.  And a tired body plus the cold... I just need a bit more sleep.  It's not even 07:00, so... a two to three hour nap, if down by 08:00, and I could have a good solid... if still partial... day of work.  I could get a lot done, and still have tomorrow and Friday.  Yes, it... will get done.

I hear the ducks are flying around town.  I may have to clip their wings.  I didn't think they would leave, certainly not solo, but it seems so.  Later.

Her too?

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Eh, tu, Bruta?  A she, yes.  Oh... she... wants me to believe other than how I know.

Sure got someone's ire up.

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A couple of music vid posts, left for my viewing.  Oh, yes, definitely a notice that I am not in good standing with someone.  Most likely a Catholic.  Why?  Because I am supposed to be tribally for the SC appointee.  All I have to say to that is, absolutely not.  There are Catholics.  There are good Catholics.  And there are Catholics who do whatever they want and still wish to call themselves Catholics but aren't.

I will not go along with anyone, just because they call themselves a Catholic, or I'd be on the pope, Pelosi, and the Kennedy's side.  More?  I was a Catholic quite young.  That is how my brother and I were raised.  We went to Catholic school.  Where, during break, probably because my mother was a divorcee, I nearly had my ribs broken on the playground... with one of those old heavy, high, swings, with thick wooden seats... aimed just right to catch me from the side.  Would have killed another.

I understand.  I always have.  And I have decided to never be tribal.  Whether it be a C, or R, breed, white, indian, or whatnot.  I've found that the more tribal, the worse the rot.  And this woman has all the signs of rot.  She looks like she is going to duck anything socially and morally conservative or honestly Catholic, like abortion, or do just the opposite, and enshrine gay marriage and adopting into law, if it hasn't been.

Trump did it.

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How, exactly, did he get Mitch and the others to go along?  Didn't even need Pence's vote.  Even got the cow ski to go along?  He didn't, publicly, push all that hard.  But he had to have done some back room brawling.  Absolutely no doubt about that.  Further, they believe he is going to win the election, or they simply wouldn't have switched sides.  Three or four republican senators are democrats in truth.  But, they... live in republican waters.  Easy access, but not often accessed.

No, it won't matter.  She, as stated, is a woman.  She isn't her own keeper, no woman is.  The question is, who is.  Her husband, her bishop, the pope?  How compromised is she, and to whom?  The third Trump installation, of four conservative judges installed of the last four.  And?  And very little change on the courts.  None of them are reliable.  Most of them are weakly constitutional, in truth.  I don't think it matters.

I hear she will be better than Ginsburg.  That's, really, a lot like saying Hitler was better than Stalin or Lenin even.  Yes, well... and it depends on whom.  Better for who?  If a Jew or gypsy or even Catholic, which was worse is dependent.  Hitler killed some Catholics, Lenin killed all of us he could find.  Both intended to murder all the Jews, but Stalin sold them at $10k a head, if many were just hardened criminals he wanted to be gone.  If you are a baby, will she matter?  With this pope, very possibly maybe not.

Something about excusing herself from decisions in which the pope has spoken?  Right.  Among other problems.  What hasn't this, or that, or some other, pope... specifically, religiously, or personally, expressed opinions regarding?  Well, and he just came out for gay civil unions.  What do you want to bet she won't be against those?

Better than Ginsburg?  Who to whom?

There is a chance, a hope.  If, usually, hope is for the forlorn.   So be it.  I am happy to see Trump got his nominee through.  I just wish he would have picked a good one.  Perhaps there are no good nominees at this point?  Then again, the liberal campaign against her was rather... pathetic.  I have some wonder that she is considered reasonable by them... not a good thing.  Or, they have her, one way or another.

Time will tell.  But this is just another judge Roberts, if I was to lay odds.  Her "kids" are the tell.

So late!

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Ah, but it does make sense.  Feeding the ducks, I realize why.  All the water was frozen.  Yes, it's... that time of year.  The cold brings great sleep.  My resistance is limited.  I have, every year, or so, been able to fight it off, or for a bit.  But the cold is going to cause near hibernation... is causing a form of it.  Did, certainly, today.

I can't be sure, but I slept a lot of hours.  A lot.  I had the alarm set at a decent amount of sleep, plus another set for an extra amount of sleep, plus the girls were allowed up.  Here I am, three or four hours after the extra sleep, and cat troubles and toils all sleeping after my attempt to wake, just waking.  And I am still tired.  I would still be sleeping if I didn't have a great want to try to do some things today.

Working on the cages.  At least two sides, hopefully all four.  Then figuring out how to create a front with the wood that I have.  The back was going to be easy... just plywood.  Same with the top.  But the back isn't needed.  Still, there is the front.  And splitter panels.  So tired, can't really think well enough to actually check the wood left, lengths, what is needed, and compare.  I will just have to find out as I go.

I think payday is next Friday.  If so, I could get wood early, and hit any last bits?  Only because plywood isn't required.  I have no way to haul that.  But 1x2s, 2x2s, 2x4s, I can do those.  Though, I really hope to be done by then.  Still, there really may not be enough good wood.  So... sides today.  Plus lowering the shelving wood and fitting both sides to level... actually I have to create a shelf step, but to make them level is the trick.  Then, perhaps, create a topper for one.  Oh, and with the sides, put in remnants to hold the interior shelving, for a second layer.  

Well, those are sort of the goals.  After the bloody nose stops.  Or... if it stays mild.  I haven't been bleeding at night, but first thing this morning, it started again.  It seems light though.  Will see.  No... haven't touched the aspirin.  Would love some though.  But... no.  I... am just going to have to suffer through.  Oh well.

A few hours of waking, then to it.  Work in the outbuilding will be with hammer and nail, or cordless and screws if they will fit.  Even those are a lot of work, but about equal labor?  Just more secure and easy to dismantle?  Something like that.  If I have enough of the correct sized wood screws.  Always... maybe.  I'll get a shower in a bit.  Maybe make a bite to eat.  Dunno, will do what I can, when I can, but will do some of it tonight.

Good morning, afternoon, and day.

Nearing bedtime.

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Nothing done.  But I had a restful day.  And an email conversation.  Needed that.

The doorbell, earlier, while I slept, was a visitor.  I... forgot it was Saturday.  Anyway.

Better?  I think so.  The goal is to be awake, to work on things tomorrow.  Cage construction, really.  Hopefully up around noon to 14:00 or 15:00.  It's... whatever I can do.  A few hours to wake.  Then at it.  It's... what I can do, for now.  Ugh.

Oh, I had found a dehydrated coffee I liked.  That simply became unavailable.  So... I went looking for other coffee.  Several failed efforts.  Too acidic, too nasty generally, to weak...  I found one that worked, but it was so mild!  Like a milky coffee.  I still had some that was too acidic by itself, so tried them combined.  Perfect!  One is dirt cheap, the other was a bit pricey.  The price of the pricey one has come down, and the mix made it relatively inexpensive as was.

As well, being dehydrated, I can make a cup or three a day... if my cup is a quart.  Add cream and artificial sweetener.  And there I go.  Or I can skip three days.  No waste.  I can still 'cook' it, then chill it.  Works well that way.  And, it is affordable, becoming more so.  It might seem a strange thing, but it really works.  And, this way, I could, probably, have coffee on hand for years.  If I ever get enough ahead, and the prices remain relatively similar, I will stock ten of each... where a pair, at a teaspoon each per quart, seems to last me months.  Since I mostly drink cold tea by the gallons.  Ugh...  But, yes, it... works.

Oh, and it is cheaper, even the expensive one by itself, than the other brand.  I love it when I am screwed out of being screwed!  :p  Good night.

Faster.

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Rubik's cube.  I have been cutting the completion time, improving... reliability of outcome.  My averages are very close to my high and low speeds.  First I got to three and an half, then two, now I am running about a minute and an half for completion, average.  If... if I say... I don't make a mistake in the method... my variance is fifteen seconds or less, but both ways.  I have hit a minute and fifteen, give or take a few seconds.

The world may not be my pearl.  Is it a pearl?  To those who will be buried with it, I suppose, maybe.  Ah, but it is my rubik's cube.  I do figure, sort, store, and contemplate.  I act, when possible, build, enjoy, love, and laugh... well, and cry, hurt, break, and tear.  I'm... good with all of that.  This is a wonderful place.  I just know this isn't... right.  It has been, could have been, will be, better.  It will be perfect.  I will hold out for that.

For now, I... sort.  See.  Think.  Feel.  And whatever else I can make happen.  And I do try.

Yes, well, awake, finally.

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I slept hard, and well, when I could sleep.  It was after 03:30, but how much later I am not sure.  Possibly right then, maybe as late as 05:30.  My... memory... went black after that time.  Seeing that time was the last memory, and not much of a memory for an hour before it.  I was already shutting down.  Still, it... was as good as I could do.  I don't have much ability to navigate currently.  See what I did there? 

I pulled one nostril plug... or it fell out... sometime between when I went to bed and before 09:30.  More like 05:30?  The lesser bleeder.  When I realized it was gone, either way, it was dry so I didn't have to bother more with it.  The second one... I woke at 09:30 and pulled that one.  I had everything set up for a major bleed and splatter if necessary.  It, two, was dry.  So... all good, for now, with the nose bleeds.

I feel like hell though.  I want to take aspirin, but that just isn't going to happen.  As bad as the nose bleed was, I won't tempt even thinner blood, thinning blood on top of whatever else was wrong.  So I will just have to suffer.  I hadn't planned on working much today, though, anyway.  So suffering is... sufficient.  The hands, of all things, are finally feeling better.  Oh, a bit rough, swollen, with some joint pain.  But what I would expect from holding heavier tools, shifting larger beams, and shoveling shit for an hour or two... at my age.  But they aren't back to numb swollen balls of nothing, or the next step of pure agony as adrenalin and else wears off.

Trash, today.  Recycling?  And dishes.  Well, and a shower first.  I think I can.  Tomorrow is when I will start back in on the cages.  I believe I am going to cut the heights to two feet... interior heights.  That should still allow a second story.  It will also give me just a bit more breathing room on the wood stocks.  Yea, truth is, I am quite worried about having enough wood to actually finish two cages.  Even with this, and using some of the found wood.  It is going to be very tight.  Very tight.

The second story won't be going in immediately.  I will be arranging, with smaller otherwise useless remnants, to put in brackets, attached to the caging, upon with plywood may be placed.  And, if there are remnants of that for partials, I will add some.  But I don't think there will be enough for all of the levels in even two cages.  Though, the smaller cages will not receive two levels.  A couple of batch pads.  Less to clean, am I right, fellas?

First to wake.  I'll feed the girls shortly... oh, and let the ducks out.  Actually?  Negative on the ducks.  It's dark out, cloudy, overcast.  And with the troubles of late...  The muscovys can get out, and probably back in, without use of the door.  Not much I can do about that.  I can put fresh water in, though.  And fill their feed.  But... that's that, otherwise.  I'm leaving them in, on cloudy days, from now on.  And... probably on weekends too.  Later.

Ah, a small change with the bloody nose.

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It's doubled.  It had been just one nostril.  The right side became jealous, I guess.  I hadn't even been tinkering with it, or the other side.  It... just started dripping out.  I felt it before it dripped on any more clothing.  Bleh.  I have consumed more mass of my own blood than I have eaten today.  Not eating much, it all tastes like iron anyway.

On to bed.  Nothing can be done.  I tried doing dishes, the bleed... singular then, just broke through two plugs, in no time.  Doing almost anything increases the blood flow rate.  Hmm... not sure what I can do for the pillows.  New, and with new white pillow cases.  I might have an older towel, or two, to wrap them.  Might not be the most comfortable, but... it... might keep them clean.

I've really never bled quite like this that I can remember.  The whole day, now both nostrils.  I've wanted to take aspirin, for a few complaints, but no.  And I don't keep anything else, docs said others weren't preferred.  Oh well.  I've had much worse.  And I'm not working, so can just suffer.  I don't mind suffering if it doesn't get in the way of doing things.  Can't work, so it doesn't matter.

Good night.

Still bleeding like a stuck pig.

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Okay, gaming is out.  I play hard, to win, and tough games.  When I wasn't spitting or swallowing, I leaked through.  An half hour and had to change the plug three times, even then I leaked through.  And changing the nose plugs is a HUGE mess.  So... something else.  I would sleep, if I could.  No more shirts.  That's three for the day, I think that's the bag limit.

On the good side?  One of the shirts, if a synthetic, was white.  I thought to just throw it away.  It's not the newest thing, and worse is the brand.  Still, bought and paid for, want not waste not?  I put a dab of laundry detergent on it, and soaked it, as with the black and now greenish shirt.  I checked, and, to my absolute surprise?  It was clear of the blood.

From now on, if I spill something on a (newer or better) shirt, I will soap and cold soak it immediately.  Tomato sauce, blood, mustard, fats from cooking... anything.  Immediately.  It really works.  My last woman type used to keep my shirts spotless.  I often asked how.  She never said.  Why... didn't she admit that she worked hard for it?  She would never let me know what she was doing.  How can one be grateful without knowledge?  Anyway... it looks like I won't lose my shirts over it.

Yes, still bleeding.  Gushing without a plug.  Hmm... mother just started blood thinners.  Blood is thicker than water.  While adopted... she and I share... a very peculiar connection.  I'll... have to manually psychically amend this... particular... link?  Oh, laugh as you will.  We used to call, when phones were phones, and I'd pick up, or she would, and there would be no dial tone.  We usually called and answered without the need for the ringing.  Random calls, once to three times a month.  And... I always knew, even if at school or away, when I was going to be in trouble when I got home.  So... yeah... maybe.  I'll... concentrate on it.

A bit of late tech, then I'll try to sleep.  Good night, either way, probably.

No work, can't.

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I've had a bloody nose since shortly after waking.  I get that from time to time.  But this time is a very rare time.  It is still bleeding.  It's been seven or eight hours.  I usually can just plug it up and get to it.  Not this one.  Even getting up to go to the bathroom causes the flow to increase so strongly that I have to change the plug.  It even pours through sitting.  I just had to soap and soak two shirts.  Remembering to check every half hour, but... I can't always remember to do so.

So, no work, not yet.  No idea what the problem is.  Perhaps the dust yesterday?  Somehow?

Still, it's a good day.  It was overcast, as fall days often are.  It was about 45 last time I looked, if I suspect it is much cooler as the sun has gone down a goodly bit ago.  I did one final check, as I was closing up the hutch.  Thor is not back.  He won't be.  I'd guess a bigger dog.  Other predators don't hunt during the day.  And the ducks don't leave until dawn... usually later.

It is good to have a day of rest, after even the light last few days.  I am hoping to hit it Monday.  We will see.  It's all I can do, often, hope.  But there is sometimes more to it.  It will work, this time.  Soon.

Bringing out the boy in the man.

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I watch this guy's videos with some frequency.  He covers swords, to battle axes, to movie reconstructions, to sword inlays of historic natures.  Everything a lad, or man, could imagine in the world of battle weapons of an old to very old European bent.  As well, he has... ideas... such as how to improve on a "Legolas" bow.  Look it up or never mind, but quite a curiosity... with potential for more.

Hmm, that was new.

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I heard some honking.  It happens.  Neighbors saying "hello" to each other, or the wife as they pass, or whatnot.  Then more.  Then... more.  And more.  Finally, I got up to look.  A pro-US, police, and Trump cavalcade, as it turned out.  It went on for a goodly bit.  Not much I can do, and I look a bit rough having just awaken and not quite cleared and cleaned for the day.

But... I could put my flag out.  So I did.  Got a few waves for my action, if that isn't why.  I did wave as well, and would have either way.  I enjoyed the show for a short bit, then went back to sitting and waking.  I... am still tired.  Not sore though.  Always a spot of sunshine, if you look for it.  Sometimes you have to go deep, and if all else fails?  You are alive to know misery.  That, indeed, is a gift.  For there will be tomorrow.  And if you live rightly, a better tomorrow without doubt.

While at it, I checked on the ducks.  All but Thor are back.  The big white drake.  But they all went into the hutch.  I didn't close it up, but I put in fresh water and food.  I will check on them again shortly.  Still... something... must have happened.  I worry about the big guy.  No, not Biden.  He can get the flock out.  They are twenty to thirty pound birds.  It helps, but not fully defensive.  They can fly, but not all that well... not the drakes.  Bleh.

An hour or two more waking.  I have warm clothes on, long johns under winter pj's.  Plus a warmer t.  Best get a jacket too.  I am keeping the cave at about 66, and happily.  I warm it before showers, and sometimes just because.  But the goal is "less".  To dress warmer and keep the place cooler.  It should be warm enough for the girls.  It's about 45 to 50 when they start having problems, and only for extended periods?  Something like that.  They do like it warmer though.  Or, at least, are more active.

I... was pleased to see the caravan.  I'm not voting, if I don't need to here.  The wall.  And it's enforcement.  The only promises, as I said long ago, that meant anything to me, were foregone in spite of court wins for financing and approval.  I don't care, to a degree, that Hillary and others aren't in jail.  I don't mind some other things that weren't done.  Heck, isn't the "dreamer" thing still active, and work passes... often with a road to citizenship, still in play?  Even family connection immigration is still active.  No wall, no vote.  Sorry, Charley.  Well, not, but you get the drift.

Still, it's... good to see someone motivated.  I remember when I was young, idealistic, and hopeful.  Let them enjoy their foolish moment.  When the immigration flood fully destroys their demographic, and they become a footnote in history like the other native Americans... and very possibly within my lifetime unfortunately, they will... wish they had pushed for the wall a bit more seriously.  And some of the other things.  But, let them have their moment.  It's one of the last they get.  Later.

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Not sure, but... maybe someone has caught a number of recent posts in an echo?

It's all and everything or... nothing.

15:30...

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A very late rise.  I must have done some work, according to my body, yesterday.  I set the alarm for 13:00.  No dice.  I wanted to reset it for 14:00 or 15:00 but... I... couldn't stay awake.  I drifted in and out with that on my mind for... what seemed like an half hour?  Then, I... just didn't think.  I woke, finally, at the titular time, but well rested and rather awake.

I got out, immediately, to let the ducks out.  I am keeping feed and water in with them.  Since I wake so late.  There... may be a problem.  The muscovy drakes and a few of the muscovy hens are gone.  They never leave the yard, or haven't that I have seen.  I saw no feathers, or blood, or signs of trouble... but that they are gone?  I am afraid.  What worries me more, I saw a group of young teens, across the road, with bb and pellet type guns.  Four teens, together, with such... on the day ducks go missing?

I didn't hear back, from the email I sent.  I doubt if I will do a lot of work today, though I hope some.  On the good side, the dust from the lungs has pretty much gone... I'm not choking on breathes.  A big deep one can still evince a cough or several.  But general and even solid medium breathes are painfree and fulfilling.  A bit of aspirin in a bit, so that work can go without too much fuss.

Dressed warm.  It got to 28 out there last night.  I didn't notice, with the work.  I was even a bit hot even so.  But, it might not have helped the lungs either.  A combination of seriously cold air and dust, it wasn't just one.  The mask actually helps with both.  On the good side, as I am working on the cages over the next week, I can do a few scoops each time I depart the shed, do work elsewhere or in the house, then go back out and do some more work... scooping a few scoops each time I am leaving for a while.  Give the dust time to settle, and wear a mast when I do that.

Don't think that dust can't be dangerous.  The plague, bubonic?  Or some other, perhaps several, has (have) infected rodents, and is left in their droppings.  Various strains of virus can "live", or stay active as whether they are considered living is of question last I heard, for years, decades, maybe centuries.  Some suggest possibly longer in specific situations.  Last I heard, several of the ancient, or archaic anyway, diseases, had hit the West and were moving East at a reasonable pace.  I believe they are well nearing or past the Mississippi river now.  So, yea.  But, oh well.

Never mind.  I did empty the water from the dishes last night.  Will shower again today.  And will set those up for finishing later.  As well, I am hoping to get the laundry upstairs, do a load of whites after showering, and maybe shaving.  Further, if I can put two to four sides together, I would be quite happy.  If I have anything else to me, I will begin pulling the boards from the shelving holds, and lowering those, plus a bit of shoveling.

It's not perfect.  It is what I can do, as fast as I can do it.  Holding on with nothing to hold on with sometimes.  Oh, there are choices.  Just... none I would make.  I will hold on, even if I am not really holding onto anything.  I might be in a permanent or temporary freefall, but I won't let go of whatever I seem to be attached to.  NOPE!  What I would rather do is not of consequence.  His will, not mine.  And, yes, I am good with it.  And not just good with it, I am all the way onboard with it.  Amen!

Done, but not even close.

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I couldn't get back out.  Having trouble getting to bed, too.  Between.  Stuck.  Lungs.  Tired.

I did get a start on much.  I did get the measurements, and twice, plus.  As well, I have checked enough else that... it could work out?  So tired.  So slow.  I don't know.

I am going to send an email.  Letting someone know... what's up.  I don't think it is possible to get the rabbits.  I have no place ready for them.  Technically, I could just put them all together in one of the outhouses.  The chances of them getting out, or something getting in?  High.  They haven't been checked for that.  I just... It would be irresponsible.

I might get advice back.  But there really isn't a way to get the rabbits.  Not quite yet.  Another week?  I don't know.  As rough as things are.  I will try.  I have been trying.  Closer though.  Maybe.  I took a fistful of aspirin.  Hopefully it will help me, ease the edges of things, allow rest.

Oh, how do I know I am still healing?  When I push the edges of my fitness, or tear myself up where I need to heal?  I don't need the water pills.  For some reason, while healing up, the water flows.  Why?  I... don't know the biomechanics of it.  I only know that is how I know if I am wounded or really pushed my fitness.  I didn't mean to stop taking meds, it just happened.  So many things on my mind, so much push, so little go, it... just... happens.  Yea, yea, I know.  But I'm just one accidentally transcendental guy... in way over my head.  But, I'll... get there.  Wherever there is.  Good morning and night.

Not fast.

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The heavy dust in my lungs isn't helping.  I wear the mask, even if I am just stepping in to grab something.  It's more than dust.  Old mildew and etc.  I really should have worn a mask, but it looked like short, fast, work.  Nope.  I will leave the shovel out there, and each day I will remove a scoop or two.  As is, I'm coughing and having difficulty breathing just from the exposure.  Pushing a bit too, really adds to the depth and frequency of coughing.  Bleh.  At least the taste is gone.

I got the wood out of the vehicle, went and got the bottom, for accurate measuring, set up the sawhorses, and a third point... an old broken folding chair, the seat didn't hold, about the right height for a third point... I hope.  Oh, and put a lightbulb in to my back porch.  That thing has been broken for years now.  Broken?  Had to tinker with it just a bit.

I tried my extension cord.  Nope.  Blew the fuse, but this time I know which one.  It wasn't that one AND the whole house, this time.  Just that one 120 v, 20 amp, fuse.  Not the old fuses, newer fuse boxes.  I think it might be that the fuse is bad.  I'll have to see about replacing it.  That will be a first.  At least I know how to, and am knowledgeable enough to be willing to, shut the whole house fuse, and pull a box fuse.  Still, it... will be new, and a first.

Hmm, I have another I may try.  If that blows, then... it might be the compressor.  I'll have to see how to check oil.  It's relatively new, shouldn't need it.  But, maybe.  They are small engines, and run hard.  I'll give it one more shot.  Everything is more work than it seems, always.  Which, is fine, just... I'd rather... not right now.  I don't want to have to figure out every trick and trap on the way to doing what should be a simple job.  But... so be it, I guess.

I did measure, out there, again.  I can't use the shelving in place... or the boards for it.  Too high.  Glad I caught that before too much had been done.  I can lower those boards a foot or two, and that would allow me easy access.  I may, eventually, put in doors to the cages.  But, for now, with what I have, a swinging top is all I can do.  Still, I think... it could go well.

One last distress?  I think it was Chief Nosewetter, or his XO, who noticed wood coming from the big boxes was... a bit twisted.  Oh, it's... I checked as well as possible before leaving, but a few have developed a decent spin.  Not as bad as some of the natural hockey sticks and bigger boomerangs I left in the store.  Still, two developed a Republican spine.

A bit of a break, and to it.  I have enough of the slats for four sides.  I should have enough 2x4s or other slats to create a lid and front.  As well, I should have enough plywood for... whatever my needs.  Probably.  Will know more after this break, or next break for sure.  I don't want to look to closely, as I don't want to panic myself needlessly or otherwise.  If I'm short, I'll... deal with it.  Later.

Do women... ever hear themselves?

 .

.

Oh, she is out there.  She says this, then that.  I got a bit sad, then... laughed.  Oh, yes, she's... something.  What got me, a bit, was that she called my mother.  Did she know she was ill?  Does she have... people... in places to hear?  She heard where I could not.  I just hope she calls again.  It seems her old phone number is no longer the one she uses.  Or... so my mother thought.  Bleh.  Further, I am not sure I can get my old phone number back.

Oh, her?  Right.  She's... of a mood tonight.

No more shoveling!!!

 .

.

I got a good couple of wheelbarrows full out that first batch.  Then perhaps two, this time.  They must not have cleaned that out in there for years.  At first, I thought the floor was dirt.  Nope.  Wood.  But under matted hay and poop!  I got down to the base layer, but there was no way I was going to get it all out tonight.  Not and put the cages together.

I also got one of the floor screens out.  The way it is set, I won't need a back panel of any sort, for either larger or even the smaller cages.  Which leaves me needing, for the two bigger cages, four side panels, two tops... of some sort, and two fronts.  The fronts, and maybe tops, might end up being a combination of wire and various types of wood.  If I have enough wood, and time, a second level.  If not, I'll wait for later for those.

For now, the four sisters can room together.  The experienced buck and doe will get their own place.  Not sure about the second buck.  I may just craft something very simple and temporary.  Ugh.

Installation will be difficult?  It could be.  Some areas will simply be hard to get at.  In corners.  I believe I will have to put the sides in first, having the bottom fitted in, unattached at first, then slid out once the front and back are attached to something.  Then remove the bottom and get to it.  There will be some areas which are simply going to take near gymnastics to arrange.

Oh, the mask is a definite plus, if it is difficult as well.  Comparably, it is vastly better than breathing in that... stuff.  Dust, poo, who knows what else.  But, I have to work slower and I get really hot, really fast.  I did, actually, find my extension cord.  The other one was blowing my fuses.  So, I looked on one of the recent days I couldn't work.  It was in an odd place, but... okay.  I will try that, as it didn't blow fuses.  Size?  Shorter length?  Something.  I am hoping my electrical isn't becoming fussy.

In an hour or two, I will get out and begin working on the sides.  The door is too small for construction to occur anywhere but inside.  Then again, trying to haul around a three by three by six foot, essentially, wire coffin by myself would be the sight.  Even trying to do half of it would be a bit.  Halvsies are doable, just... the door.  Plus, that would probably break my balls.  I'm already running low.  Shouldn't have shoveled all that.  What was done was done.

Oh, I did put the last load in the dryer.  I will do a load of whites in the morning.  Dishes?  I don't think so.  I should empty those, though, and set them aside until I can get to them.  Bleh.  I won't be folding laundry either.  When I become able to work, I begin to think I am superman.  Then I turn into Elmer Fudd.  Oh well.  A bit of a break, then to the sides and else.  Later.

At it.

 .

.

I was finally ready for the work.  I'm working okay.  What I wasn't prepared for is the dust!  Still, I have gotten the wood moved.  Some of it could come in handy.  Oh, and cow pies on the floor.  Actually, probably goat pies.  Dry, but then again, that makes them dusty.  I've thinking whether wearing a mast is possible, because it sure might help.

I've taken two breaks.  One more to get tools, a square shovel, two brooms, and a battery lantern.  I wouldn't trust a burning one out there with the dust as it is.  Who knows just how inflammable that stuff is.  My guess is rather.  This time, I am taking a break for reals.  I may have to work through the night, and tomorrow when I can get up.  I kept hoping to be able to be up earlier.  It just wasn't possible.  

Two loads of laundry, the last in the dryer.  I don't have time to hang that out, so... Options are good.  Plus, I put the dishes in for a soak.  I am hoping to finish those off tonight too.  A shower before work as well.  Yea, I know... mother.  Still, I feel better for it.  I'm... to it, officially, I guess one could say.  I have been pushing, and getting nowhere.  Until today.  It isn't just the deadline, I've already killed a couple of those.  I am working when I can stand.

I measured.  Good.  The shelves won't fit two full length hutches.  But it will fit a full size and a smaller one.  As well, I have another area that could be turned into a shelf for a smaller one, and one area that is big enough to put another six footer.  So, yea... they can all fit in one of the outhouses.  I will use the other one for the muscovys.  Plus, now?  they don't have away out.  I just worry a bit.  I will have to use some of the fencing to create a vestibule, of sorts... to lock them in.  Until they are used to it as their home.  I hope they can make the switch.  While herding ducks is easy, separating the herd is another thing.

But, yes, it is... at least starting.  An hour or two of work, and hour or two down.  If I can do three, or four, rounds of that, I'll... get there.  I'll be making noise at night, but I can shut the garage.  That will help some, with the pneumatic stapler and nailer.  Some.  It's what I can do.  It's why I tried to shove my days around before starting.  Bleh.  For the outbuilding, there is no electricity or possible range.  That will be hammer and nail, or cordless if I have enough screws and think they will work.

I'm stuck.  I have to go.  Night it is.  I did get a nice little piece of work done, plus the domestics.  When I go back, more shoveling, but the dust should have settled.  And shoveling won't bring up as much dust as moving stacks of plywood and beams covered in layers of dust.  I think I will see about a mask, as well.  It might not do a thing about Xi's virus, but it should help with the dust.  Later.

Focus.

 .

.

A note, as I am about to begin.  Actually, already started things, but... begin more.

While learning the rubik's cube process, I initially thought repetition would increase speed of completion.  and, while it does, to a small degree, it wasn't really improving.  I got to between three and four minute completions, but variability was wild.  I could do it in under a minute, this time, and five minutes another time.  Frustrating.

I continued to blindly repeat, as if that would make it work.  Nope.  Then, I started paying attention... within the process.  Not just doing, but noting things... seeing about repetition of outcomes, learning what could be repeated, sorting what seemed fastest.  Bit by bit there was improvements.  If, too, my fastest speeds are slower, my general speed is much faster AND repeatable, or nearly.  There is a minor flaw, from time to time, somewhere.

The thing is, and I knew this if didn't think to apply it in this case until recently, to be awake to and within your actions... to learn actively, take notes, understand as able... it really does make a difference.  My average is around two minutes.  My fingers move as quickly as they are most likely to move at this point.  there won't be a mechanical improvement to the speed.  But, I think there is more to learn.

Awake, earlier than thought.

 .

.

Noon, is when I woke anyway.  Had thought I'd not be up for at least another hour.  So tired.  No work yesterday.  Today?  Hoped.  Dishes were washed, right after letting the ducks out.  I am leaving food and water in with them, as I am waking later and later.  The muscovys can get out on their own, but my poor indian runners not so much.  Cats have been fed too, and will get their litter tended shortly.  I forgot that, initially.

With the tub temporarily open, a shower is next, after a bit of waking.  Then to construction and etc.  It shouldn't be too much, but might be.  I'll work on it off and on, as able.  Hands will swell, not much I can do about it.  Hmm... I need to figure out a third point.  The two sawhorses work okay, but the lengths involved are more than they can quite handle.  I wonder if one of the folding chairs would do?

Beside construction, I need to clear out wood to see if the cages will fit on the shelving.  I can measure first, but I am pretty sure at least one will work.  I may have to... do some alterations as well, with support beams.  Yea, I know... forethought, not afterthought.  If I pull a beam, I need to install one, or possibly two, in other places.  Yea, yea, maybe not every single last syllable, but... yea.

I won't be picking up the rabbits until later in the afternoon tomorrow, so... I have a bit more time.  If I can get to work even today.  I am telling you, I not only don't feel well, I haven't been able to work.  I wondered if it was just stress.  But after managing the vehicle emission test and getting registration taken care of, the part that was the most stressful, that I would be able to hop to it.  Nope.  It... just isn't a stress thing.

I really hurt myself.  I am probably even now still not fully repaired.  Should have broken ribs, so... yea.  Definitely bruised them.  Not a few, not on just one side, along the whole front of me.  And the hand.  If I type a bit too much during a day, my hand still swells.  Swells more.  It still feels slightly swollen most of the time.  I simply busted myself up.  And I don't recover like a kid anymore.  Though... do kids actually recover that fast?  Maybe at a much younger age, but... not in the twenties.  Well, and in recovery, I am falling out of what shape I might have been in, which wasn't all that good to start.

Still, today is the day.  Good morning, and afternoon.

Up. Just in time.

 .

.

I am in trouble.  Got the sheriff called on me, again, by my own mom!  Did I mention, again?  This time no going along with the fine gents in uniforms.  A call.  My brother called them, actually, but for my mother.  So, knowing what I do, that he didn't really want to talk to me... maybe yell at me... I just called my mom.  Ah-ha.  Yep.  And, it wasn't "just because", if that would have been reasonable.  Arrived five minutes after I woke.  Ugh...  He let me use his phone.  For which my mother had me send a God bless, and for which I greatly thanked on my own accord.

She is in the hospital.  At first they worried it was covid.  Nope.  Blood clots.  On the lesser first x-ray, they found... many.  On the high-powered, they found many more.  Her doc says she wasn't sure she could save my mom, after seeing it all.  One more day, she said, and... my mom wouldn't have awaken from a nap.  Better, but still in.  Going home tomorrow.

Hmm...  I may call my brother, as soon as a phone comes available.  I wont' ask for a loan, I will ask for $100.  I am buried in loans, and expenses.  And, just to get a phone and the line going again.  However, if I ever get ahead, I will repay... I just don't want to say I will when I really don't know when.  It might be a while.  Getting into rabbits was a lot more expensive than I thought.  As well, losing a cell phone has been murderously expensive.  A few other things have all added to a financial disaster.  Then again, I don't think I am alone in this.  At least I have kept up on mortgage and auto.  And I haven't had to literally starve, if going hungry sometimes is... but then, some of that is due to incapacity.  Anyway, I'll see if he will, then keep up on my mom a bit better.

Oh, she said my last lady friend called.  She didn't catch the number, and her phone is not doing well.  I think, with everyone home, the carriers are getting their lines and systems taxed so beyond their capacity that they don't do right, always.  Not a complaint.  They weren't built for 150% percent of constant customer use.  They were built for 33%, and probably at peak.  It's... business, practicality, and some other things.  It's just how it's done.  But, now, it's... woefully inadequate to the times.  Still, I'll have to hope to try to call her somehow.  Or that she calls my mother back.

I really could use the help.  And I would guess she could use... what a man brings to the table and a place.  She was reasonable, it's just that full time work was too much.  Though, I could see her doing part time, or some such.  Just thinking.  And, I have an extra vehicle.  Stick, too.  Yea, you had to know she was a stick girl.

Well... I... need to wake, then... figure some things out.  Good morning, afternoon, and day.

A fine dinner.

 .

.

It's been a while since I have eaten correctly.  No energy to cook, or... do anything else.  It isn't just work that doesn't get done, it is also eating... or proper eating.  Stored foods aren't the best, healthwise.  But, if it's between opening a can and eating, or going hungry, when you are trying to push through... even if you are only actually staying awake... then you open the damn can and eat.

Roast beef.  It was delicious.  I didn't have quite the energy for veggies, so I ate two servings.  Freshly cooked food is an absolute delight.  If I had a woman who could keep the rest of the house, I could keep the food coming... and have learned a fair bit on nutrition... plus with a smart phone could keep the calorie count and else in balance.  Heck, I would even keep up on the dishes.  Mayhap not to the thinking of a woman, but compared to now?  Yea.  If she could keep the rest of the place clean.  Two meals a day, only, and fresh meals only three to five days a week per meal time.  If I want to cook three meals in a row, and coast?  That's how it will go.  Or space them.  Depends on my capacity.

Now, it was technically, for me, overcooked.  My mother would have thought it was slightly undercooked.  It would have been tolerable to both of us though.  And, it really was good.  Closer to how she used to cook a chuck roast.  Often to then be shredded and added to homemade egg noodles.  The woman could cook... for a family, or an army, and on no notice with almost nothing.  She is amazing that way.  Truly.  I'll never have that, but I can do things she can't... or wouldn't...  I have impressed her, with a meal she would never have considered possible.  But... that was one versus innumerable.

I do like to cook.  Not just for eating, as when I started.  I enjoy merging this, with that.  Learning the chemistry behind it.  Learning how foods cook best, or quickest, and in various ways.  I even like learning to love foods I thought I hated.  No, actually, learning to enjoy, even love, foods I definitely hated.  Cabbage is still one of my greatest gains, as I see things.

Hmmm!  Roast beef, cabbage, fresh mushroom, and... something, something soup!  Perhaps stew!  Oh, yes.  Yes my dear friends.  Enough for a bowl or two a day!  Might have to cook all separately, then mix them as I warm the meal.  Yes, not sure they would hold well otherwise.  Thickened, with egg?  Gelatin... a bit.  Not thick as jello, just... dense, for fluid.  With carolina reaper pepper flecks this meal, salt and pepper the next meal, maybe ginger, cinnamon, and turmeric on another...  Yes, yes!  Who needs noodles?!?

Anyway...  Good night.

Right? Yea. Right.

 .

.

It took all day!  Just to get in, get the inspection, do the registrations...  Then back home.  And, finally, out for one last bit.  Wood, and charcoal.  I could only get eight pieces straight enough to use.  And they were pricey even then.  That is enough for, perhaps, the fronts, and a few sides.  I'll have to use plywood to make up the difference, and for dividers... temporary or permanent is another question.

It is already growing too dark out there.  Tomorrow.  Up, as early as possible.  To it, as possible.  Another shower in there, probably to cool down for a middling nap.  Since I haven't heard when to be there, what day, I will go Saturday.  That gives me two days to hobble the cages together, possibly moving wood so as to not need to have to build legs, and getting at least two big cages constructed, perhaps one or two smaller cages as well.

It won't be beautiful, but it should work.  And, double layers on the bigger cages.  For large groups, or even splitting off if necessary.  I'm not sure if aunts can be in with a new kindle, or if they will kill them.  A divider would provide room enough for groups and kindling.  I'll have to ask about that.  At some point, either way, the young become large enough to defend themselves, then opening up would be good?  I'll have to ask.

Oh what a day.  It went well.  I didn't think about it, actually, in advance.  The car could have failed the emission test, no wood could have been found, registration might have been off.  Heck, for all I know, it could have been a holiday, and everything be closed.  I'd never have known it.  Though... sometimes you all go on and on about Christmas, sometimes late enough for me to even catch it.  :p  Well, maybe not quite that out of it, but not by far.  Certainly the little federal, state, and social holidays are missed.  Memorial whatsit?  Oh, I prayed a couple of times, in hopes of getting done what was possible.  Yea.

Now to just relax.  I've been pushing so hard just to get out, broke and late, sore and tired, sleepy and weary of body, mind, and soul... spirit...  More to do.  Will have to keep pushing.  May fail.  May die.  All good.  I... can't worry about that.  Things to do.  So hungry though... I have a roast thawed.  Should put some chicken out, and maybe a pork roast or... something.  Hungry enough to cook though?  Will see in time.  I'd... sure like a bite of roast though, and maybe some veggies on the side.  Later.

Yes, well...

 .

.

I... finally... made it to town.  An emissions test.  Plus the registration for the other vehicle.  Done... wait... I do have to put the paperwork in the other vehicle and put the stickers on.  On the gooder side?  Now I don't have everything coming due on August.  The birthday month was becoming a horror.  Plates, tags, insurances, AAA, etc... all coming due at once.  Too much, too expensive, a horror.

I am down to $60 in cash, $100 in the bank, if I think, maybe, all bills are paid?  Uhrm, no... ugh...  I still have to find wood for the smaller wire panels.  I am hoping to go in, again, yet today.  Money, money, money!  I need about sixty feet of trim wood.  The longest lengths needed are 6 feet, the shortest three feet, so ten foot lengths would be preferred, if that probably isn't possible.  I want to check hinges, see how many I have on hand.  Four would do for short, but six in time.  As well, perhaps look for handles of some sort.  I may have those as well.  And, something to lock down the top.  Though wire could do for a short bit.  Or even short bits of rope... I have leftover rope from the clothesline.

Ugh.  So tired.  I didn't get to bed until after four.  Almost woke a quarter to nine, but couldn't do it.  Woke two minutes to ten.  Ah-ha!  Beat the ten alarm!  A shower, then grabbed the paperwork for the vehicles and into town.  I had to check several places, to find one which did inspections.  But, when I did, it was fast.  I prefer to count time in cubicle anomalies.  The inspection took four rubik's cube completions, which all took about four minutes... the television and being in an open and strange place, distracted.  Still, quick.

I'm trying to relax and get my mind centered.  Then will play just a bit of gaming.  Then get into town.  Charcoal would be nice, too, but I don't think I have the money.  Later.

Down for a bit.

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.

At around 21:00, I hit it.  Surprised.  I have been sleeping later and later, nearing 05:00 the last few days.  Didn't sleep long.  Woke up too hot.  It was only 67 up there, so it wasn't the actual temperature, just me.

After tinkering on the web just a bit, I am going to game just a bit.  Then a shower, and possibly back to bed, if at all possible, earlier... perhaps in an hour or two.

I woke crying.  Don't know why.  Oh, sure, there is the recent stuff.  But... that was from dreams and things I do remember.  Not sure what this was about.

As the world closes down, closes in... when even standing for too long is difficult...  It becomes difficult.  I understand my mother better, albeit from a different perspective.  It is the lack of strength to... do... live... resist.  And, yet, the unwillingness to just surrender.  It isn't a dying thing.  That will happen when it happens, unless someone else decides to intervene... against one's wishes.

No, it's a weakened ability to do much about anything.  The humility of it.  Anger too?  Sometimes.  Still, we will keep trying, until it is our time.  I think I got a good deal of that from her.  She hasn't had the easiest life.  She knows it isn't fair too.  And, yet, she gets up, with a smile, as often as she may.  Says a few prayers, and figures out the rest of her day as she is able.  She likes to work, and is usually more capable than I.  If... as I catch up to some of her... concerns, worries... she is learning my dysfunction.

I wish I could call.  Hopefully, this coming month, I will be able to get a phone.  Maybe.  Later.

Things that go bump in the mind.

 .

.

Not a mood thing, just... something...  The music appears, I see the pattern.  I submit it for review.

I'll... get to things, after this.  A shower and... stuff.

Why?

 .

.

I can't be sure why, only that... many people don't, won't, tell me the truth.  In spite of... speaking plainly, and listening, having been through hell and death, bleeding out in strange ways... people seem to think I can't handle more.  I do not understand why people won't tell me what happened, what is happening, around me... sometimes even to me.

The earliest wake in a long time.

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.

Not feeling well, wasn't yesterday really.  Trying to get to some things anyway.  While carbs aren't best, sometimes, they work they best.  What I have found is, if I am cold to the bones, and nothing else works, a carb-heavy meal will fix that.  Like it or not, it has a place.  At least from time to time.  I've lost the keto way for the last bit anyway.  Made a few mistakes with purchases.  Back to it as soon as I can sort life out.

I am nearing recovery, save for the hands.  Every time those get better, I go back to work and they swell back up.  I must have ripped them up pretty badly.  The left is back to not being able to fully squeeze a tight grip.  The right is still functional, it just feels like the skin is a size or two too small.  That was from putting the two three by six bottoms together and stapling the screens on them.

I have to try to get out today.  It'll be a push, but...  Plus, I have to get going on the hutch.  I found a few hinges, three, maybe four.  Heavier duty.  It should allow a top, probably just plywood, as with the backs.  I might have enough wood, if so, to build all the cages required.  The next trick is building them into place, which is required given the space.  It'll take a bit of forethought.

I think the base has to be put in first, the floor.  Then hinges on the back, and that, then the side panels.  The front panel will be a bit odd.  I may have to split out 2x4s, down to 2x2s, or the nailer won't work.  The heavier nailer would, but it has a good chance to split out the wood.  Messy.  Or... I could price 2x2s while in town.  I don't have much left, maybe just enough.

Part of the problem, too, lately, is that it has been so dark.  What enabled waking so early today was a spot of sun.  It looks to be going back under.  Or are the clouds one the way out?  I... just can't be sure.  The nice thing about sleeping near an east-facing window, is if there is sun, shade or no... at least a good thing in the winter... I will see it.  Something about the sun really helps me to wake.  Especially if it hasn't been very visible lately.  Even, it seems, if just for a few moments.

I... best... wake and get going.  Time is running out so fast, on so many things.  Later.

Rested, warm.

 .

.

Not much done yesterday.  But I did rest, was warm enough, and relatively pain free.  Just... tired, worn, sleepy, if even a nap wasn't possible.  Still, I needed some good downtime.  I got it.  Still couldn't sleep until late, so woke late.  A shower, shortly.  Laundry in, and dishes.  Then... a bit of business and work.  Oh, I best get ducks and cats sorted.  It is getting late.

I do feel much better.  Work will cause swelling in the hands again.  It's a rough life, in some ways.  But it's what I've got.  I'll keep at it.  Staying warm is the best thing I can do, for healing.  It also increases the chance at working, and doing less damage while doing so.  Everything is a bit broken.  Still, it... can work it's way through... with enough time.

Yes, ducks, cats, a bit more waking time.  Then on to a shower, dishes, laundry, and... a bit of business.  Later.

Very good.

 .

.

Still a bit too tired.  But better.  I wasn't able to sleep, then I remembered to turn the heat down.  Still wasn't working.  Did a quick... personal check.  Ah!  I had finally warmed.  The clothing, the shower earlier, food, all added up to a warm body.  And, with the long johns, double layers, of everything, and shoes still on, my body was keeping warm.  Which... is why it wasn't tiring enough to sleep.  I need to cool, literally, to sleep.

After a few adjustments, and getting to night settings, sleep finally arrived, if at nearly 04:00.  Ugh.  But, sleep was very good.  And warm.  I stayed toasty up there.  Near me it was 69 around 08:00,  62 at waking.  Out in the open it was more like 58 to 60?  though sometimes they are the same.  Odd.  It was a very good sleep.

Ah, I get it.

 .

.

Someone remembered from wayback.  I... just said a few things and...  How does she... remember?  She would have to take notes.  Sometimes, something I write or present doesn't make sense at first.  Just... a song.  Just a thought.  Just a dream.  Then, one day, it hits, like a ton of bricks.  Two such things come together.  It... doesn't mean I am right, or that I was right.  It just... connects, like a baseball and a bat.  And, the ball ends up over the stands, in the parking lot.

Something feels really bad.

 .

.

In some ways, it isn't unusual.  In other ways... I am... a bit concerned.  A goodly dose of aspirin, and medicines.  A night of sleep.  It hurts, solidly, where it could be a bad thing.  Stress.  Too many... things... bills... critters... people... lack of communication... out of money.  Alone in the world.  Don't... fret.  Or even bother with sympathy.  I'm just... explaining, figuring, what the problems are.  

Solutions?  Time and some changes in behavior.  I can cut some things, but there... really isn't that much extra to cut.  I can try to slow a few things down.  No more extra food for a while, or other stocking up.  Until, at least, I catch up.  Just put it into getting birds and rabbits in and readied for winter.  More bird feed, an extra storage container, and getting the cages up.  That and groceries.  Simple groceries.  Going back to light and humble eating.

A day of rest tomorrow.  Perhaps, if I can, another shower.  As well, if so, putting the last of the dishes to soak.  And putting the dried pots and pans away.  That should be easy.  As well, maybe a bit of work on a few side panels, for the rabbit cage.  I'll have to use the 2x4's, plywood, and of course some of the caging.  I need four three foot by three foot cage panels, two similar sized interior plywood separators, a six foot by six foot plywood back panel, and then a lid of some sort.  IF I have enough wood, I would like to make a few interior "second stories", to make a lot of room for little ones and possibly aunts... any keepers.

As to legs?  I have other wood I can use for that, if there isn't enough 2x4 material.  And, if the shelving is solid enough, I may not need any legs for some of the cages.  Perhaps none of them... will look more closely tomorrow, since I don't have quite the time problem... I can... think these things out, measure three or four times... think before cutting, nailing, backing myself into one corner or another.  Mistakes WILL be made.  Most mistakes are survivable.  Not all.  Caution.

Still, it really hurts.  Perhaps, with a little extra time, that will ease... especially if I can begin catching up.  I'm in a spooky place, for a thousand and one reasons... still have to register one vehicle, get another inspected, and then finish it's registration, figure out a lawyer for ssd, and... and... everything with the rabbits and potentially new ducks.  Yea.  Too much.  Later.

Nothing, but I did go anyway.

 .

.

I wasn't able to work today.  Just... couldn't.  But I did drive to at least pay for the rabbits, and ask for a hold on picking them up.  No one was home.  I took a spin and came back later.  Nope.  So... I'm having a friend text that I was there, resetting for next weekend... which buys me time, and checking about possibly one of those electronic pay things.  I don't have access, but a friend may.

That... maybe... buys me some time.  I am so tired, beat, feeling rough.  No matter, I will use the time and get it done!!!  I don't know how, I don't care.  I feel horrible, but I have things to do.  Ugh.

I best feed the girls and close the ducks in.  Hmm, I'll need a few pails for water?  No, I bought a few recently.  I wanted them for other things, but... I can't be picky at the moment.  Buckets to cart water out for the rabbits, and perhaps other ducks, in the other coop or hutch.  That is going to be the worse part of it.  Then again, I'll water all the ducks together.  All I need to do is carry out fresh water bottles, summer and winter, twice a day... for the rabbits... while refreshing the water for the ducks twice a day as well.  A bit more work, but not too much more.

Anyway... best tend the critters at hand, now.  Later.

Another week?

 .

.

I may have to ask for another week on the rabbits, and until the first on the ducks.  I just... can't get to it.  I will go there, and speak to them in person.  Feed, extra for that, of course.  If not, I am just out.  I... have to understand.  I simply can't get to it, or fast enough, and have nowhere for the rabbits!  I... a week... I should be able to finish the cages in a week.

I do plan to get out yet today.  I got a shower in.  Fed the ducks and cats, and etc.  I haven't eaten, can't get to it.  It's a tough day, for me.  Doing anything is difficult.  So very tired.

I did heat the house, up to 72.  Trying to push things, using the methods which can work.  I do have long johns, double socks, etc.  It just doesn't matter.  Tire, exhausted, can't... figure things out.  I... will try.

Later.

Up a bit earlier.

 .

.

Not moving quickly.  Almost up even earlier.  Still, there is hope for the day.

I woke a bit sore of back, from stopping while working at least.  Not terribly sore, just... cranky.  What I thought, as I bumped it through the night, was a sliver of skin from a cut ended up being a splinter.  Actually, thankfully.  Can't do much about skin slivers, can pull a splinter.  Did.  Much better.  I have a slice on the other hand, from a steel tape measure.  The sure are sharp.  Tired, too.

Good though.  I need to brush the teeth, shower, then get back to work.  I can't put the thing together, then move it in.  The doors are too small.  I... knew that, but... there is always hope, if short lived.  Of course, this will ensure a fit.  A right fit of the cages.  I'd hate to build something, only to have it not fit in the given, or any, space.  Money is too short to make mistakes.  And time is at a premium, so even if I could fix it, the time would be harsh.

The bad thing is, it is cloudy.  Working in the shed, without electricity, thus lighting, will be more difficult.  I do have a flashlight and lantern, both battery driven, if it is too dark otherwise.  But those are very limiting.  As well?  Getting the air compressor out there.  Ugh...  I can rough fit things, see what I can construct outdoors and get in, but much of the final fitting may simply have to be hand nailed.  It will be tricky, but it's... the way it goes.

I was up by 9:30, it just turned 11:00.  I just... can't get going.  I suppose this is it though.  A shower first, then... on to it.  Later.

------------

Ah,  the problem?  Cold.  I... just realized.  Even dressed warmer, I am absolutely freezing.  I'll get a shower, add long johns, a warm undershirt, plus an extra shirt... see if some better layering will help.  Freezing, but it isn't really that cold, just at cool.  I'll work on it.  Now to shower.  Later.

Not the best.

 .

.

A bit tired.  Too tired.  Can't sleep, have to come down a bit.  It isn't that I did too much work, it is that the work I did was out of my capacity at the moment.  Searching for things, setting things up, pushing this, pulling that, it all added up.  I should figure out something to eat, then take a shower.  A shower might help a good deal.

I have more to do.  As early as I can, getting back to the cages.  As well, for the shelving to possibly be useful, I will need to remove old wood stacked on them.  Plywood, to old 2x4s.  I'm not sure the wood is any good, and it's all pieces.  So, at least for now, just setting it aside so as to get other parts put in.  There is a chance I can get a few cages arranged tomorrow, before or after the rabbits arrive.  The ducks will do fine, as is.  Though if they are too small, I may give them a place to grow a bit before adding them in.

I am considering putting some of the ducks in one of the other buildings.  The breeds are naturally parting ways, so it shouldn't be too difficult.  I hate moving the senior ducks, but that is most likely what I will do.  If... they will go for it.  Ugh.  I'll see.  But the ducks would do fine in with a the rabbits.  Whichever group goes out with the ducks, it will be complicated getting them to do it.  I will have to lock them in for a while.  But getting in to feed, water, and otherwise tend, without letting them out, is tricky.  Hmm... could create an inner caged area, just allowing a cage vestibule of sorts...  A double door they can't exit.  Yea, maybe.

So tired.  Hungry.  Need a shower.  Later.

Double ugh!

 .

.

I did get to it, finally.  With all the tools and mats, but so late.  And... it always takes longer than one would imagine by vast amounts.  I got to work around 17:00, and was out of light by the time I constructed the two bases for the bigger cages.  I am running out of wood very quickly.  At least 2x2s and 2x4s.  I do have plywood, cage material, nails and else.  And, after reviewing the outbuildings, there are shelves.  How useful is another question.

Still, with the shelving, I have a good chance not needing to build legs.  And they seem, some of them, to be the right size.  I would like to have them all in one building.  Perhaps using the other building for other birds, in time.  Chickens?  Turkeys?  I don't think I save money, but I will say the quality will be much higher.  Plus, without being able to do real work?  This gives me a way to serve, and do, and almost earn a bit of my way.

The does are mostly sisters.  And are currently living together.  If I can get four cages, I could keep those together, keep the males in their own cage, plus have room for the seasoned doe... as she is probably used to having her own place.  Then, this coming month, figure out a few more cages.  Those can be smaller.  And, these cages should easily handle a kindle, perhaps more... if I want to keep a few aunts?  Depends on personalities?  Maybe that doesn't work, save with very young ones?  I have much to learn.

Boss showed.  Not needing the chainsaw for now.  Good thing, I was going to have to try to use the circular saw with a rather weak battery.  I did have the batteries charged though, and everything nearly ready to go.  I am hoping to get him to go with to pick up the rabbits and a few more muscovy hens.  I still don't have a phone, so... getting there would be a bit tricky.  Could look it up, and write instructions the old way, but my eyes are getting old and my writing is... well... about as bad these days.  Still, I've... found my way through all sorts of things.

Rather tired, sore, rough.  Aspirin as I go to bed.  I may have forgotten meds.  Too much to do, too little time, energy, focus.  I forgot much, actually.  Bleh.  I'll... get a few last things done, shower, then hit bed to try to be up early tomorrow... work on the cage a bit, off and on, and just doing what is possible elsewise.  I figure I'll head out to pick up the rabbits and birds sometime in the earlier afternoon.  It gets dark around here fast, these days, and I don't won't to try to find my way with a scribbled note in the dark.  Later.

Alright?

 .

.

Power cord arrived.  Got everything up and ready and... no sawhorses.  This time, however, I knew where they would be for certain.  No problem.  A short drive and back again, by.... Doom.  I had to empty the car.  Would have had to anyway.  Food, water dispensers, materials, and... timothy hay...  It had to be removed.  So, I have everything I can have, at the moment.  Probably.  Gah!

I set up the saw horses, and went to grab 2x4s.  But there were a bunch of 2x2s!  As well as the 2x4s.  That will... really help.  That doubles my functional board length.  It won't be as strong as 2x4s, but I don't need that.  I am really hoping to get six cages out of this.  I do believe I will build side by side cages, in pairs, as units.  So, six total cages, but in three double units.  And, I will build the gents cages last, as they are smaller and need much less room.  They won't have kits, and are smaller in any case.

I need a break though.  I am wearing out fast.  Harshly.  So tired.  Yet, work to do.  I'll... do what I can.  Oh, I best have my poor besotted Boss text about the address, and how much is left owed on the rabbits.  I have an idea of where we went, but it's been too long, and I still don't have a phone.  So... yea.  A messy long couple of months.  The hope is that it will pay off in the long run.  At least I am used to checking on critters at least twice a day.  A few more critters won't be all that bad.  Yea...

All good, but I do need a bit of a rest.  In part from fear.  Fear of what?  Of not getting done, of not having enough supplies, of missing something, or not missing a wrong thing, of... when I get tired, everything that could go wrong, or right and then wrong, or right then right then wrong, or...  It... all gangs up.  A rest, then to it.  Hopefully I can hit it hard.  Oh... best find tin snips before... gah!  Those should be hereabouts though.  Almost certain.  Later.

Moving slow.

 .

.

Troubles, too.  First, finding batteries, for the cordless tools.  I have, over the morning and early afternoon, found three of what should be five.  Scattered or... some 'lost'?  A 6ah 60/20 flex is still missing, and a smaller... 4 or 3 ah 20v battery.  I have enough for now.  Battery charger then had to be found.  Now I can't find the one power cord that could run the air compressor.  It isn't in the hall, drawers, cupborard, or boxes... or outside.  I only have one that can deliver that much juice that far.  I have sent an email, to see if someone borrowed that.

I can get to cutting.  Not sure I have enough wood.  I'll do what I can.  I have enough 'fencing' type material, it's just whether there are enough 2x4's.  If it works well, I can skip the back legs, and just create a mild shelf, plus front legs.  As well, it is possible I have other sorts of wood for legs, if need be.  But putting the things together, while possible by hand, would be a real pain.  Mostly hand stapling the screening in.  Oh, I've got a stapler.  But only one hand could do it, and it wouldn't hold out very long.

Wearing out just trying to find stuff, running in circles.  Getting there.  Will see what I can get to.  It'll be a hobbled project.  Temporary.  I'll tell you, before I even think of buying rabbits again... and yes, I am thinking of trying another breed, I will have the cages together beforehand.  It seems, on schedules, everything that can go wrong, will go wrong.  No, cages, then order the rabbits, and money up front.  Ugh.

I best get out to it.  Perhaps some cutting, and some attempts at planning as I go.  Later.

Cages.

 .

.

Rabbit cages.  Six of them.  Perhaps two level?  Perhaps some or all.  Why?  For kindling, to give mom and kits more space.  Wire and 2x4, hopefully I have enough.  If not, tomorrow I will have to get more.  Plywood  too?  Yea, but I think I have enough wire caging of two sorts, plywood, and else.  Will find out shortly.  May need a few other bits of hardware, hings, handles, and such.  Always something else.

I borrowed  several pneumatic nailer types, and a stapler.  Hand doing that is easy enough, but takes longer and is a bit more work at the end of the day.  Part of the thing is to make sure the cages fit within, and can pass into, the hutches out there for them.  Thankfully I do have indoor places for them, as long as I can fit the things in.  No doors, actually, on the cages.  I'll just have lift tops.  For now, I can put weights on top, which will keep critters in, and out.  

I slept very hard last night.  Had trouble waking this morning.  I had the alarms set for 08:00, and 10:00.  I don't remember what happened around the eight alarm... a snooze or two? just turned it off? didn't even hear it?  But the ten alarm... I heard it. I snoozed once, twice?  Then turned it off.  One, or both, of the girls were having none of that.  And, if gently, nicely really, brought me about.  I do love my girls, even when they go against my mechanical will.  They... sometimes... know when I need to be awake.  Hmm, maybe I should marry THEM!  :p

I need something to eat, first off.  Food.  I have the last packet of hamburgers.  They have held up well.  Something with them, then a quick shower?  Yea.  Then dishes in, and out to the back, to get started on the hutch.  Oh, ducks out.  I'm running late again.  The girls, muscovy girls, get out anyway.  But the others have to be let out.  They aren't eating as much.  Fully grown, I would guess.  

The whole of them only eat three cups of grain, whereas the three originals would take about two cups.  Then again, they didn't always finish their two cups, if they don't finish their three cups now.  Foraging... lots of it, especially the muscovys.  If I think they have taught the indian runners to forage a great deal more?  I... really think so.  Winter will change that.  Nothing to forage.

I'll... get to it.  Food, and setting on fresh tea.  If a fatted coffee, hopefully, first.  And maybe an extra one with breakfast.  If I can get it down.  Fatted drinks are heavy... filling... in the oddest way.  Can still eat, but not more fat?  Limits, though of fluid, fat, or a bit of both?  Later.

A few successes.

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.

So far.  A shower, in time to make it to the post.  I needed to make it in time to get my packages.  They were in a locker this time!  So, easy peazy.  Then a bit of a break.  I am tired.  Worn.  Still a bit damaged.  Still, a short break.  Then on to town.  Trying to get what was needed for cages.  Simple stuff for now, hoping it will work.

Between this and that, I had enough, and enough to... make it through the month?  Probably.  Well, and buy what was needed for creating cages.  I hope.  Plus, food, water options, and various other items.  I am set, for the most part, as far as I can tell.  Other than putting the cages together.  That will be a lot of work.  And I have one day to do it.

I should have enough materials, mostly.  Plywood, for partitions, for now.  Caging for the bottom, different but less expensive stuff for the sides and top.  Platters for their feet.  Feed, timothy hay, and... yeah... not treats or chew toys, for now.  No nesting boxes, but those can be made from some of the screening and plywood.  I am excited.  And a bit nervous.  It's a lot of work, even if it isn't hard work.  And it will be made on the fly.  I just hope it works out.

I might, later in the month, be able to purchase a chopping axe.  Or next month.  But not spikes, either way.  I have looked at several, online.  Will call around too.  I'd like a bigger sledge hammer, twelve, perhaps a sixteen pounder too.  Good to have in any case.  I will have to really check prices closely.  The world is an expensive, becoming more expensive, place to live.  I am excited to begin chopping.  Firewood.  Nothing fancy, just a bit of exercise each day?  That's the idea.

I am hoping to borrow a few tools.  I lend out tools, so don't mind asking from time to time.  And, perhaps, asking for some help with the work.  I'll split out meat, was planning to anyway.  This would be like paying it forward for a future intended paying it forward.  Gotta help with the butchering, but free meat otherwise is... good.  I hope to get another six rabbits later, if a different variety.  To compare.  If I end up not liking them, or the ones I have?  No loss.  Dinner.

So tired.  But I did well.  Some gaming.  Changing cat litter.  The ducks and girls are fed and watered, so...  Hmm, perhaps something to eat, too?  Maybe.  Hungry?  Yes and... no.  So odd.  Good evening.  Later.

A very good sleep.

 .

.

Didn't do much yesterday.  Couldn't, really.  Still, it wasn't a painful day.  And, I got to bed earlier if not as early as hoped... 01:20 I think, exactly.  And, I slept quickly and very well.  I set the alarm for 10:00, and it, eventually got me up.  Several snoozes later, anyway, plus Sam up there, voting for cat food.  About to begin the day at 10:50.  Late, but... doable.

A shower first thing, brushing teeth, no time to shave.  Oh, but ducks out first, and cats fed as I am heading to the shower.  Then, a very small break and drying off period as I... make plans.  Time is so strange.  But it is what we have, for the moment.  If health wasn't an issue?  No... it would still be a problem.  Gravity, energy, how many demands can be added over time by everyone and his mom, father, aunt, boss, cousins, bosses... yea.  The limits are many, the payouts few, and healing and recharging... yea.

Still, all good.  I'll... use what I have left, as I am able.  Later.

Not moving quickly.

 .

.

Moving.  As mentioned, not fast.  The girls have been fed.  A bite was heated and eaten.  A bit of blogging, a bit of gaming.  The girls treated, ducks looked out on.  Very small things.  Almost things just to say I did something, anything... attempting to avoid slipping back into the rut of nothingness.  A shower is on the mind, and a shave.  Trimmed yesterday before the shower.  A shave after a shower today would be perfect.  Then dishes in, and the dry away.  Yes.

I am pretty sure the plan will happen.  Not sure when it will start.  Had hoped to get to the post office today, but that wasn't possible as I didn't wake until well after it was closed.  Not his fault, just the reality of the economy.  What would happen if all small towns closed?  Either they would have to deliver, or people would have to pick up our mail at larger hubs... in the more local bigger cities... which... would become a mess very quickly.  This is as good at that will ever be again.

Oh, right, I had a bad bloody nose from shortly after working last night, outside, with the wood, until waking this morning.  I kept trying to pull the plug, but every time I did...  It was a gusher, if let go.  Had to block it all night and through the morning, until I woke.  I must have... pushed, or broke through, or opened, and unlocked... something... somethings?  Better now.

Blood sugar was a little high at waking, but that was expected.  I ate wrongly, yesterday.  It happens.  Not too much higher than the recent norm, if the recent norm has been higher than it should be.  Bleh.  I'll keep at it.  Once I get through half a dozen more projects, I can... rest... for a while.  I need rest.  Not doing much, haven't been, but am pushing to do things.  Getting nowhere doesn't mean doing nothing, actually.  Pushing on an unmovable object can be a lot of work.  Has been, maybe will be.  Later.

Awake, finally.

 .

.

I started to wake sometime around 13:30.  It was 14:00 before I got downstairs, maybe a little after, but I sorted clothing that had been done this week.  Folding towels, sorting by underwear, shirts, pants and shorts, and towels... folding the bathing towels.  I found the clothespins I had thought, initially, lost... but then realized were probably put in a basket, with the clothes, then never removed.  Right.

I woke without a pain, and very rested.  Pain arrived after just a bit of the clothes.  All good.  It is relatively mild.  But, either way, well earned rather than just recovery.  Aspirin, with medicine, first thing.  Well, among the first things.  I got the ducks food and water going first thing, cats will be next, oh and fresh tea was set.  First thing is... an idea, an singular action, or a period of time allowing for various actions, and more... I am using the latter delineated definition.  In that case, feeding the cats will be a first thing... uhrm, right... after all the rest and blogging.  I needed to sit.

Oh, and ready for a shower!  A shower, then the dishes in.  As well, putting away the dishes which have been air finish drying overnight... or... really, through the day.  I didn't finish and get to bed until nearly six.  But, damn it, I finished what I said I would... what I have been working toward for weeks!  And, today, I will complete the last of it, so I can do more, in other areas and parts of those areas.  Perhaps even today.

I won't get to town, as I had hoped.  Way too late.  But I will get there soon.  I will try to sleep early tonight.  Get up early tomorrow, and... begin a new life.  Washing off as much of the pain, confusion, and fog of mind as possible.  Getting to it, doing it...  I can, now.  Having a little help often ends up a lot of help, unless I way overdo with those helping.  Ugh.  Or hurt myself.  Or both those last.  Meh.

On to some tea, a small serving of fried sausages, and my day.  Good morning, afternoon, and day.

Yea, well...

 .

.

Lost in thought?  No.  Just... lost in time.

I forgot why I was still awake.  Heck, I forgot that I was awake!  Yes, you can do that.  Or, I can.

I realized, just a bit ago, that I was awake and why.  I... really didn't want to finish and dry the pots and pans, and utensils.  I had to hit it all with hot water, so it would dry better.  And I had a few pots and colander to wash, rinse, and then dry.  So be it.  I got to it.  Had to get dish towels down from upstairs first.  Done, done, done... all done.

Now I can take a shower in the morning... whatever passes for a morning.  I have batteries to gather and charge.  Ugh... the ducks won't get out until late, won't be out long.  Bleh.  But... so much done.  Something always has to give for other things to get.  There is no free lunch, no easy road, no double duty... not these days.  Never was, really.  Someone else just had to... take care of what else was left behind.  Have no doubt.  Some are just able to do things others can't, so the ones who can't get to do what the ones who can would have done, or serve them so that they may serve better.  The truth.

I did get aspirin in.  Took medicine and insulin.  Pains and aches have become milder, but are far from gone... just on the edge of flaring.  If I can sleep well, and get there quickly, life might just make it.  The left hand is fully back to it's swollen state.  This too shall pass.  Ugh, but an ugly if successful day.  Does it always require blood?  Yes, if it is good.  Good night, and morning.  

I almost forgot...

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.

Late.  Very late.  Almost 02:00.  Still, dishes.  I said I would.  I had them set up, so it was just a matter of washing, then rinsing.  Most of them.  One pot needed another wash.  Burned.  Yea, memory, getting old, not able to stay aware.  Anyway...  I got to them.  Most are rinsing.  In about an hour and and half, back to it.  I will just wash, then immediate rinse and dry, the pot that is soaping.

Tired?  Beyond reason.  But, I want dishes done, and I want another shower in the morning.  Lord knows how good a shower is after... a while.  Two in a row though?  Yeah.  And, probably, now that the dam has been broken, the rest of the dishes today, and showers through the week.  Very very good.  And, probably, I will keep up on dishes and shower three to six times a week for the rest of the month.

Headache is returning.  It is skeletal, wholly.  I'll take a handful of aspirin shortly.  Hopefully so sleep won't be a difficult thing.  Just a bit of work and I get what's coming.  Pow, Alice?  I always thought being mooned would... be better?  Oh yea.  I didn't even think I did much.  Some, but... not much.  I fell pretty quickly.  Meh.

I think I'll play more of the new game.  It's about all I can do... if I can even do that.  Oh, best go up.  I think most of the clean towels are in the clean laundry.  Good night.

Helpers.

 .

.

Local lads, with some of the men, visited and got to work.  I... had to rush a shower.  Then I helped as I could.  At least I wasn't in the way.  Didn't do much, did what I could.  That was a lot of wood folks.  Some of it stacked, some of it cut to chopping piece sizes, much of the branches gone.  A lot of work.  I didn't have much.  I did have candy bars for Halloween.  I offered a box out, with several per and enough for the adults if they wished.  It's... all I had.

Now to get an splitting axe.  Perhaps a sledge and wedges, for those tough ones.  A few a day, at most... when I can get to that, even.  There are bits left, but... 70%, plus, of what needed to go... 80%? has been taken.  Quite the task.  But, it's... it got done.  The last bits should be easy enough.  I'll... assess fully in the morning.  I wasn't ready, but the... adrenaline does it.  Fear?  Not... just fear.  Shame.  That I couldn't do it myself.  Shame, yes.  It... drove me.  Not far, but to a bit.

Bunnies, this Friday or Saturday, like it or not.  I have to get cages set up.  Ugh.  The world is collapsing and I can barely stand!  I'll... figure things out.  Parts, and pieces.  While looking over the yard tomorrow, I will assess wood and other assets.  Six cages, roughly three by three by three or four, somehow elevated to about my waist height if possible... with doors, feed and water systems, and open enough to poop through... without hurting their paws.  Ugh.  Yeah.

I am, now that things have been broken through a bit, going to try to do some of the dishes tonight.  I'll put some of them in right after posting this, but not all.  Just enough that I am sure I can wash, rinse, dry, and set to air dry through the night.  About a third of them.  Maybe half.  I want the shower open tomorrow, for another run.  I... so needed the shower.  I'll... get this part done.

Tomorrow?  I... don't know.  We will see.  The rest of the dishes almost certainly.  Then some business?  It looks like FedEx is dumping some or all of the orders to the post office.  Lazy lying bastards never stopped at my home.  The post office should charge them, enough to offer us a bonus since they aren't delivering in small towns, and aren't open all day.  Charge em' fifty, give us twenty.  Cool.  Liars.

Hmm?  Well... yes, grumpy.  Still, doing better.  Even the left hand didn't get too abused, at a good pace and heavy work for an half hour?  Or so.  Yea.  Oh... blood sugar was down to 80, last I checked.  Very odd.  Two meals and a fatted coffee, with only a single dose... if a medium... my new large actually, of 25 ccs... what with a  225 fasting to contend with, and meals on the way.  I should check it again...  114 after three hours and a little work.  Later.

Better.

 .

.

Oh, everything still hurts.  It is all mellowed a few stages.  From a roaring scream to a lot of heavy chatter.  Not able to work, quite yet.  Hoping that will arrive by this afternoon.  Or... urhm... later this afternoon.  Pain isn't the whole of the problem, just a part of it.  Not even a majority of it.  More one of several obstacles.  The pains might be exacerbating the other problems, but... it's... odd how it works.

I did note, today is the first day I have been able to use my left hand fully.  The swelling is gone, the first time I woke up without it swollen enough that I couldn't fully use it to grip as completely as the hand is usually able.  Swelling may yet come and go, especially if I use it much.  The skin on top of the hand is still painful, sometimes.  Thankfully, I wore gloves that day.  But, the hand is back to nearly full use.  Still other hurts and pains in there, but... as long as I can use it, piss on it.  Pain isn't my... problem.  Or... always.

FedEx said they visited to deliver the sheets today.  I was right here, not ten feet from the door.  I guarantee they didn't knock or ring the doorbell.  I am guessing they are going to lie their asses off to their boss, then just dump it on the post office, or send it back.  I can't believe the people they hire for this work.  Can't get any former UPS workers?  Either they obtain poor workers, or have really poor oversight, or some anti-worker running their programs.  It's like they don't even try.  Or do, but their effort isn't to deliver, it is to just hire jokers.  Which... apparently... they do.  Lying jokers.  So, it looks like I  wont' be receiving the sheets.  Oh well.  I'll have to try to purchase from a company that doesn't use a shit-for-brains delivery company.

Well?  Well...  I don't know.  More aspirin won't help.  Besides, it won't be available for a few hours.  I am careful about dosing, as much as I take.  I can't sleep, I can't work.  Not sure I can play.  Bleh.  Later.

Pain.

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Not the worst I have had, even of late.  Pretty potent though.  Skeletal and muscular from the shoulders up, typical innards, ribs, and musculature midsection, plus a pretty stout headache.  Just a regular headache, but a pretty potent one.  I set up bedding to be warm, finally, last night.  Sleep has been off because of the haphazard way I have been letting my bedding be.  I fixed it.

The thing is, sleeping warm, I think I finally slept exceptionally well.  Which means I didn't rock and roll as often as needed.  Oh well, I am about to change pillows out, with new ones, now that I have pillow cases purchased, washed, and ready.  I'll even double the cases, so as to keep the new pillows newer for longer.  Assuming these new pillows are any good.  Never can tell until I've slept on them for a while.

Down around two.  I didn't eat, and dose, should have.  I did take the slow acting insulin, but without food, I wasn't willing to take anything else.  Blood sugar is 225 this morning, fasting.   I'll have a bit and a medium dose before too long.  I am hoping the aspirin I took nearly first thing begins to help.  The pain is fairly severe.  I'll just pass it to those in purgatory.  Believe me, they need it and want it.  I am becoming convinced, without outside... earthly... help... there is no escape from purgatory.  I pray for those I know, offer my suffering should they be there, and offer any excess to any poor unnamed soul.  I do.  I really do.  It... almost makes me glad I have suffering to offer.

I won't be doing much if I can't escape the pain.  Probably a meal, in an attempt to break the spell.  If that doesn't work, probably back to bed.  I did end up staying up later, if I wasn't able to do the dishes, or really anything else.  I... kept... pushing, from the inside, getting nowhere.  At least I didn't stay up until five or eight, or even later.  Insomnia can grab me by the throat and drag me through days if I am not careful.

Hmm... if all else fails, I may, as I go upstairs to sleep, begin memorizing a few prayers.  I should write the fifteen steps to humility, and the Eucharistic prayer from the other day.  Those were... very very good.  Humility is my weakspot, Eucharist a greater part of the answer, but the regular will to other than self is the other part.  Difficult when, sometimes, that is all there seems to be.  Stations of life have... meanings too.  A child, the elderly, and the nearly dead, all have limits to beyond self.  Limits to cognition, will, and other things.  It's... just the way of it.

Later.  Hope your day is good.  If not, do what you can, say a little prayer, and do as you may.  Amen.