Up, quite late of course.

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I think it was around 13:00?  Maybe 14:00?  Some time between, or a bit before the former time.  I mean, before 13:00.  Did I write that right, or did you read it wrong?  Just... asking for a friend.

Milk and whipping cream arrived today!  Oh, I so missed that.  couldn't eat, or it, or much, for a while, so... still, missed it.  I got payment out right away.  Hopefully we can go to a two month check from now on, starting next month.  If I do it right, that... while costing about $90 a month, can cover about forty to sixty percent of my feed a month.  Well, half on some months.  Food prices are changing radically from month to month anymore.  Our parasite overlords are finding they can only leech if the victims have blood to bleed.

Sleep was good.  I didn't even half to walk and mess with t he nose, mostly, through the night.  A few wakes to blow my nose, clear the air, but that was it.  No fever, no chills, slept pleasantly warm, only woke a few times.  Coughing a bit each time I woke, but back to sleep easily after whichever minor process needed tending.  And I had the furnace down at 66, and the upstairs is, of course, colder.

I have the house heating, as well as rabbit water.  I'll be out shortly.  I know, late, but with the illness, weather, season, and else, not bad.  It is as good as I can do.  I'll check the temps while I do that... which I will do now, since I remember and realize the hour, then finish this...  Okay, it is around 24 out there, but sunny.  And, yes, that makes a difference, a huge difference.  It feels smiling warm.  Though I may be slightly fevered, so...

The ducks fed, rabbits fed and watered.  I emptied and drained the pool last night.  I do that much more rarely, just adding a bit as needed, plus some runoff.  They seem to love the runoff.  Now that I don't need a hose, and messing with that, life is better for everybody.  In the summer it isn't an issue.  I move the pool, near and far, so they don't strip any single area.  

Then cats were fed, their water refreshed, and litter tended.  A happier home that way.  The girls seem terribly extra hungry though, lately.  Sam stays skinny, like a cheetah, but eats voraciously.  My food, getting into trash, her food, hard food, wet food, treats.  She is ALWAYS eating or looking for something to eat.  I am almost worried about worms?  Hmm, might have t o treat for that.  If, to be honest, I think it is just age.  She forgot she just ate.  To keep thin, she vomits.  It's how she does.  Sassy?  No worms there!  She's two to three times the size of Sam.  When Sam goes, Sassy is going on a diet.  Sassy is why I don't think Sam has worms.  If Sassy loses ten pounds, I'll know!  :p

Someone has been around my mirror... showing me things.  I may post it later.  I am saying all I am seeing is the life of Brian, they are saying I am not seeing all.  Time, of course, will tell.  But to the child of a dragon, who will feed you back an edified, fortified, blessed form of a portion of the darkness of man, it... doesn't matter.  I am, in flesh or spirit as He wills it, here, waiting, at your command... as with all the horseman... for the change of eras, or for the end.  We will be with you, for your own good or ill, until the end.  More for the final harvest, if not the end.  Amen.

Yes, visitor, a single one, who knows how to aim precisely.  A visitor telling me I am not seeing. And, either fairly, or merely playing games.  Though, to be honest, there... I... may have some spark of trust.  It would be good to give men that spark that keeps them from servitude.  Which allows them to keep their nations, and keep them separate and right.  To be quite honest, on this one?  A one world new world order?  You don't just oppose God, you oppose Satan.  I... really wouldn't wish to be in your shoes when this all shakes out... which can be soon, a year from now, or many years to thousands of years on.

As I have mentioned, in mirth?  While Satan, evil, is patient.  God as vastly more patient... and sure.  Facing one of these is terrible.  Facing against both is... well... I hope most live to see the results.  Amen, again to thee my brother, I say amen.  How would I know God?  Read, it's as good as it gets.  But God consistently states that He made nations of men for the varied men.  As for Satan?  I knew her very well, still do.  I even love her, rightly.  I wouldn't... go there if I were you.  It's a long... road back from hell.  But, she too, favors nations, separate and divisible.  There is only room for one snake, in what remains of the seeds of the garden, and she is a vengefully jealous twisted sister.  I would wish some good luck, but... nah.  Later for sure.

Not a terrible day.

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A sick day, have no doubt.  Runny nose much of it.  Coughing, comes and goes.  A bit too warm, a bit too cool, but all manageable.  I've probably gone through a box of tissues, maybe a bit more?  I have three boxes, near where I set most often, so it's difficult to know.  But I would bet closer to two boxes in the last two days.

My nose gets sore if I blow my nose incorrectly.  I have learned to... moderate.  All I really need is an airtight seal, mostly.  Sometimes I grab my nose with a lobster hand.  Yea.

My mother suggested I use vix.  I have it too, from the last time she advised me.  I... just... haven't used it in many years.  I don't get sick often.  She said she rubbed it on our feet, if I don't get that... and our chests, when we were small and would get ill.  I didn't remember the feet thing, but the chests I remember.  I would only try it on the feet if wearing socks to bed... and maybe I will.  Some nights I do, as I feel the need for extra warmth, other nights not so much... my feet get too hot.  But I could put it on my chest, and would put it in a vaporizer, if I had one.

Coughing has been sporadic.  I've definitely had worse.  Sore throat yesterday, mostly gone today.  Ibuprofen, my dose (which is much higher than your dose), and about to dose again.  I think that is helping.  Not to be used at all times, due to heart problems, but useful at moments.  My mother suggested a different one, tylenol?  Maybe.  I would like to keep some things on hand, but it can be years between use.  It's often so out of date I am unsure whether I can use it.  None of that stuff has a very long shelf-life.  And, with medicine, I hate to waste my money and time.

Yea, it's 04:07 and I am still awake.  Oddly, comfortably.  This isn't insomnia.  It's... just... I am finally feeling a bit better, am not tired, and am enjoying my time awake?  Yea.  Like that.  I'll be heading to bed before too long.  Just not quite yet.  With such a long day up, I have fed the girls a third time.  Who knows how long I will go down this time.  I won't do a goal, illness... I won't fight that.  I'll sleep when I am tired and get up when I can.  Even if it is just to feed the critters though, I may get up just for a bit and go back down.  It's the best I can do.

Have a good day, morning, whatever.

A rough day.

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It could definitely be worse.  I have had the flu for over a week, and in absolute misery the whole time, with diarrhea for a while, all the symptoms I have now, at full blast, over an extended time.  And more, I think.  Still, it's not pleasant.  It seems as if the symptoms are easing, though can't tell.  An odd, if more minor, complaint, is that my forehead hurts.  I have had fevers do that, but I haven't had much of a fever ever, and what of it I had was early yesterday.  The skin feels bruised.

I was going to cull rabbits today, but the neighbor didn't show... or text.  I just texted him.  Meant to call if off anyway.  Yeah, I got it from him.  Wouldn't surprise me if he could get it back.  This is a virulent strain.  Oh, he is saying about five days, for the heavy, and he is still having a runny nose, as with the last of the bad days... which was when we picked up the cage and else.  So... yeah... a long one.  Then again, he works a lot and goes outside fairly often to work.

I called my mom.  Somethings we can't discuss.  Politics.  So, this time, both of us left that alone after a brief review.  To be honest, it looks like Trump is trying to commit suicide through politics.  Could he have won?  I can't say.  I think he had the people.  But every time the people stepped up, he backed off.  I have never seen such a calculated attempt at suicide in my life.  Further, he went all the way then just changed his mind, in many ways.

Is he trying to commit suicide to show us that our votes don't matter?  I already knew that.  China, India, and Mexico, among others, get more say about US politics and business than the citizens.  Now, it was always supposed to be republic, but a pro-American, not American-hating republic, as it is now.  And it was supposed to be informed by a functioning democracy, not this China style stacked game called democracy.

I quit years ago.  I realized my votes aren't counted any more in Utah than they are federally.  As seen in congress, the faux representatives absolutely agree that we have no vote, nor  should have a vote.  Why should we, if they don't?  My only question, is why make believe.  Or do most people actually believe the lie?  My job, at this point, is as with the invasion of the body snatchers, I guess my job it to avoid as much as possible.  Too old and ill to escape, or more than I have.  Now I realize why people are all wearing the mask.  They fear Biden.  He may well have cops shoot those who refuse.  Yes, I watch as they all bow.

We no longer live in America.  It might as well be China.  Which is why I am having so many troubles.  Social Credit Score, on both corporate and government levels.  It's already in play.  America is now just like any other third world nation, and will continue until we become what South Africa is almost at.  I suppose they were just waiting for someone like Biden, to look the other way while they murder every white in their nation.  Hopefully it will be a while, but not as far off as for some of us.  You know who you are.

Anyway...

I am looking forward to rabbits.  Might grill, or roast, a few... if he has the time.  Which means I need to do some cleanup.  If I can.  Ugh.  It's late.  But, with the nap, it would be later down.  I'll get to bed soon.  I got the waterers in, got the girls a fresh dose of water, and might even have bite to eat.  A few of those brats and... something with them.  Not hungry, but best to feed these things if possible.  And, it's possible.

Sleep was needed.

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I didn't actually get down until 11:00.  I checked the rabbits.  Water was still good.  I kept forgetting to check the temp.  I can't always tell if it is at risk for heavier freezing or not, without looking.  I woke at 14:00, so a slightly longer nap.  I again checked their waterers, all good.  This time I checked the temp outside.  It is right at 28.  Just close enough so freezing won't happen with a bit of use.

I finally called an attorney.  I did get through.  The first attorney won't take the case.  They don't "specialize" in my sort of case.  He gave me a phone number for a national registry of attorneys and wished me luck.  He believes SSA has changed how it handles disability claims.  Essentially, I make to much for SSI.  And the only way I could stay on SSD is if I was getting "quarters".  In others words, I am too disabled for SSD and make too much to be on SSI.  There may be no hope on this at all.

I called the other number.  They are on Eastern time, and end their day earlier.  I will call Monday, early.  Yeah, but it's not looking good.  I'm not sure why he even bothered, but it's what I have.  Why SSA wouldn't just tell me that?  They never did say anything, other than that they believe I am no longer disabled.  Which... is a lie on a lie, if this is the reason.  And... who was getting that last year of social security checks, after they stopped sending to me?  Someone was.  I still think they are using it for illegal immigrants.  We will see more of that soon, if all things go as seem to be going.

Ugh... too warm, sometimes... too cool sometimes.  At least I am not having heavier fevers and heavier chills.  Just... temperature moods, mostly.

I am not sure I can keep the house or car as things go.  I can't afford them.   Not with the need for a new furnace.  We will see.  But it's looking dubious.  Oh well.  A home is a bit of a major expense, in every way.  And only ever a dream.  Later.

Not a bad day for being so terrible.

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What?  I mean, for as terrible of a shape as I am in, life isn't bad.  I forgot to take ibuprofen too, which I will remedy immediately.  I should get my meds set up too, if lightly.  Going with just the water pill, potassium and other vitamins, and perhaps the smallest dose of heart medicines... or at least the ones I can take without too severe of side effects.  

My plan to block the nose part of the time doesn't work while sitting up... or standing if you do that.  The runniness needs to go, so will just keep flowing.  It doesn't work while awake.  Okay, but at least it helps at night.  And it really helped.  Even though I had to wake every two hours, it was far less a bother than to have to wake to fluid flooding out, hoping it wasn't blood.  Oh, sure, I still keep the towels up there, wrapped around the pillow, as I have for a month or three (?) now.  Funny thing?  As soon as I put the towels on, I have not spilled any blood on that.  And I have only had one bloody nose, other than last night.  I catch them now, before a drop hits.

The ducks and rabbits are fed and watered.  The cats have had a meal, and are about to get a snack as well.  More, their litter will get hit.  I need to eat but can't cook.  Too worn, more than tired.  Muscles ache as is, so tinkering only exacerbates.  Fine, but... oh, I'll figure something out.  Hmm... I wonder if their is a soup shop in town, that doesn't add stupid stuff.  Low carb, chicken veggie.  Though A beef stew, by someone who knows how to do it, would be splendid.  And, if I were going, and it were possible, I might get a large batch of each.

First though, a nap.  It will be a relief to be done with the runny nose for a while.  Even if it is just a few hours at a time, that is so much better than having a constant, or nearly constant, runny nose.  Hmm... a few cough drops would be good?  Wait, I think they load those with sugar.  Even "natural" cough drops are filled with it.  Instead of sugar, or corn syrup, they use pure cane sugar... as if that makes a difference.

I could check amazon.  Not sure I trust their products, certainly not their prices.  And, yet, the devil if you do, the devil if you don't.  Worth a shot.  As slow as they go anymore, I'll be finished with the cold by the time they arrive.  Still... I got the ibuprofen just ahead of time, though only because the last flu I got pushed me to it.  It only took three years after?  Four?  Heh.  Might as well check about cough drops or sich.  Late, but not unusually so.  Actually... after only one bought which derived the consideration.

A nap.  First.  All else can hang.  It's only 10:11, so... not bad at all.  Up by noon, one?  Hopefully.  Then a few calls, check the rabbit waterers, and... who knows.  Good morning and day.

The best rough night I have ever had!

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Ibuprofen probably helped... with the fever, aches, swelling from this and that.  But technique helped more, I should think.  Then again, technique may have only been possible because I could think my way through to solutions.  What solutions?  Let me tell you.  It might even help you, if you catch something.  A cold or the flu, anyway.  I have it that China flu is not as... watery.

I did get to bed earlier.  No choice this time.  Definitely by 20:00, though I can't remember if that was the time I saw going to bed, or the first two-hour shift.  I woke about every two hours.  My nose would run, and being so terrified of having a bloody nose, it would wake me before any fluid made it out of my nose.  I did have a bloody nose twice, if that was probably along with a runny nose.

Initially, I just suffered it.  The second time, however, I tried a solution...  As with regular bloody noses, I started blocking my nose with tissue.  Well, after clearing as much of everything in there out, by blowing, as possible (even when I had a bloody nose.  Clearing, then blocking any possible remaining flow, then going back to sleep.  Plus, then I didn't have to worry as much about bleeding everywhere, should it become a bloody nose.

Every two hours, and very small change, I would wake and either clear and block the nose, or take the blockage out and also blow my nose.  It worked quite well.  And, half the time, I had clear breathing through my nose.  Plus, it never truly got congested, in spite of my methods.  It became so automatic that I started doing the process without waking up.  I just made sure I did any work over the trash pail.  It has a liner as well, so would catch anything that got by tissues.

Waking around 04:30, I wake rather rested.  I am guessing it was around 18:30 when I went to bed.  Fever wasn't as much as issue, if I think that was ibuprofen.  Which I will dose with again, this morning.  Oh, and I had just ordered C, D + else, and some other things, on top of the the regular stuff I had been taking.  I need to get back on some of the old things and some of the new things.  I am not convinced these will prevent anything, if I am pretty sure they will lighten the load.  Now, when you already have something, nothing really helps.  Good eating helps, right eating helps... if you can.  If help is marginal.  Still, I'll be on it soon.  Manganese and magnesium, daily vitamins, zinc, and potassium were already being taken, so...  Just a few extras.  Actually, I had been on vitamin b-complex but had run out.  No promises, just... from what I am seeing, these things decrease symptomatic china flu, and other illnesses.

 Now, to wake well enough to get the birds and bunnies at a bit after dawn.  My interweb routine, possibly something to eat... even a fatted coffee with that back on track a bit, and a bit of gaming.  Oh, I best feed the girls.  They are a bit upset.  I hadn't let them up with me last night.  I still have symptoms, and I have decided to continue with last night's technique... blocking, blowing, keeping it open, right on through the day.  Blocked, first thing... when that becomes annoying, I open, clear, drain, and let it stay open for a bit.  It really does seem to work.  And beats blowing my nose, uselessly, every three to ten minutes.

Good morning, and day.

A very difficult day.

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Headache, neck ache, muscle aches, fiery breathing, fevers and chills, the sniffles, and likely more.  I can't focus on what all is wrong, I just notice this and that, when the conglomerate isn't too severe.  When it is really rough, I don't know much, overcome with too many things hurting, aching, or such at a time to figure out what is causing any of the pains.  It could certainly be worse.  I'm betting the wufflu, or whatever it really is, is more severe by a tad.

The water has been staying freeflowing for the rabbits.  I added water for the ducks, their pool.  In spite of it being warmer, with the sun half hidden much of the day, and down now, there isn't much play in the birds.  They seem good, just not interested in moving or doing, even eating seems a chore for them.  I... get it, I understand.  I do pray for the critters, when they seem down, or ill, or off their feed.  I'd pray more for you, even should you be my enemy, should I know more.  I do pray, generally, for you... for what it is worth.

Even so, it was a pretty day.  While darker, it wasn't close to the darkest.  A good day for some dark mood, but something easily gotten over after a small spell of bitterness.  Bitterness?  A small portion, but yes.  Still, it makes the day a bit sluggish.  The flu might be the majority, but not all or even most... half?  Depends on the moment.  

Not quite time to put the ducks up.  The time is drawing nigh.  Though, what the heck, I may give it a shot.  I won't take the water in until 20:00 or so, at the earliest.  Unless they are frozen.  Shouldn't be.  Hmm, I'd love to put out a fresh batch, but I don't think they would be able to get much before it freezes, with the sun down.  Then again?  I... like to treat the furries.  Friends, as with many, if only... possibly... for my part.  But a friend indeed.  So... yeah, I'll water them up one more time.  After a meal, I will bring in the, probably, frozen waterers... leaving all out for the moment... if they are still flowing.

Good evening, night, and day.  Amen.

Up and down.

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With the flu, sleeping for very long isn't successful.  So tired, yet aching, with fevers or chills, and else, sometimes sleep won't last.  Down at midnight, up a bit before five, back in... sometime later.  Bloody nose to running nose, blocking it off then trying to let it flow.  Blowing and sometimes just having a normal hour or two.  Not the most pleasant, if not the worst flu I have had.

Chores, after the waterers warm.  The girls have been given a snack.  I had to reorder snacks, down to the last bag.  I swear, someone is feeding them, or 'borrowing' cat snacks while I am away.  Though, I think, at least earlier on, if I didn't airseal lock the bags, the girls would get into them and pretty much finish off a bag.  Since closing the bags, they don't disappear quite as impossibly fast.

The aches and pains that come with this though!  It also increases my exhaustion, which is winter exacerbated.  I am not sure if it is better to sleep the month away, or to be partly if miserably awake.  So tired, but I can't seem to sleep.  Not as much as I would like, or when I would like.  I am achy from exhaustion already, as well.  The flu just triples down and makes it pretty much permanent, while also depriving me of sleep, somehow.

After feeding critters, I should figure out something for me to eat.  Not hungry.  It is more that I know that feeding a flu is far better than trying to starve it.  I'm not sure there is anything out, thawed, ready to cook.  May have to thaw something.  Going to the store seems unwise, though a pickup might be a good way.  I do need fresh lettuce, and a few other things.  Later.

Just as soon as things are turning around...

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It looks like there is a new problem.  The flu, the real flu.  Too wet, from what I am hearing, for it to be china flu.  Running nose, congested, headache, slight fever that comes and goes, etc.  Most of the typical symptoms.  My guess, I got it from the neighbor.  It happens.  Although the extra body exhaustion, which wasn't repairing, might have been early symptoms.  And that dripping... it's nonstop!

I did get the critters fed and watered, checking their water several times.  It never did freeze, and they didn't drink it all.  So the original waterers just stayed out there.  It was a rather pleasant day, if not quite as good as yesterday.  I definitely need to get actual feed.  This just isn't the feed I need or want.  If they will take the feed back, I would rather just replace it.  Though, this time I will get both the meat feeder and the pellets.  I opened one of the wheat bags, but only that one.  The rest are still in the suv.

Sure have aches in my face, from the nasal passages being bad.  I'll have to wait until symptoms back off a bit.  I can make a few calls tomorrow.  But that will be it, aside from chore.  There is actual feed, lower in the barrel.  I may dig to it, and mix that with the wheat.  Because the wheat doesn't seem to be favored by anything.  Don't dare give it to the rabbits... it's just not what they are supposed to eat.

On to bed.  Good night.

How to heal faster, in the winter, and summer.

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Okay, I knew this.  I simply forgot.  My legs hurt a good deal, from pushing, pulling, lifting.  As do my arms and back, high and low on the back, shoulders.  No problem, I pushed them.  The young gent working with me was about at his limits, as to work, as well as me.  So... that... it was serious effort.  Of course, he wasn't even sore the next day.  And, often, he works that hard on any given, if not every, day.  Bleh.

I was simply not healing, though.  Then again, I wasn't dressing as well as I usually had been, so I wasn't as warm.  This morning, after showering, I layered as I had been before falling down from exhaustion.  And?  And I can tell it is helping to heal.  It will still take a while.  I don't, won't, can't, heal as quickly as used to be the case.  But this will help heal a good deal faster.

As to the summer?  The trick is to be cool.  I remember, now.  It has always been the case.  So... I'll take care to dress and be warmers.  It'll work.  It will still take a week or two to heal up.  That is better than a month or two, I guess.  If you are young, or healthy enough to heal quickly, enjoy it.  When it is gone, it's a brutal life.

I realize, now, why ritalin was so difficult for me to take.  It allowed me to work beyond my body's ability to heal.  It was brutal to take, actually.  If I had access to it, again, I might try it, but not daily.  It was so harsh, if I didn't understand why, back then.  There is no chance for me to become truly addicted.  I was on the stuff for two years, and tried to take it daily as my doctor preferred.  I couldn't.  Had to take time off from the stuff, from days to even months.  Brutal stuff for me to take.  I would do more work than my body could repair from, and every day I took it.  I just wanted to sleep, on the stuff, but couldn't sleep!

Well, now I do understand.

Chores are done.  Warming to begin repairing.  Tired, still, and quite sore.  But the warmth is really a generous thing.  Back on to a bit of resting, perhaps gaming, or on back to bed for a bit.  So very tired, sore, even if better.  

So, that is the problem.

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Sometimes it is the case, makes sense.  Sometimes there simply isn't a cause I can find.  Like it or not, this time I understand.  Everything continues to hurt.  The various pains aren't as great as they were, easing mildly each day.  Muscles, joints, even organs, hurt in very specific ways.  Most aches are as if I had just pushed my body beyond maintenance.

Now, that pushing?  Should be okay.  My problem, at this moment, is that my body is simply not healing at a rate that helps.  It just won't recover.  This mild exercise I got should have stopped aching in one day, two tops.  Though, in my condition... shape really... anything over that would have recreated the aches, only more deeply.  Which it probably did, just getting to town and doing very minor shopping.  That shouldn't have stressed, but both in the shape and I am in, and the previous heavier stress, there you go.

Aspirin.  I have skipped that for a few days, but I... want it again today.

Down later, if not as bad as could have been... a bit after midnight, perhaps as much as half past.  Up at around noon.  I wanted to sleep longer, but it hurts to even sleep.  So...  A shower, right after feeding the girls.  After I dry just a bit, and dress, I'll get the critters.  It looks like a shiny sunny day again!  If I get to see even a little sun, I will be quite happy.

I am hoping to make a few calls today.  I have to get going on some things.  Plus chores, but those are rather automatic these days.  Too many critters need too much.  I can't really take a day off.  This is part of the reason I have worked my way to this situation.  It started with Sam.  And, at various stages, I realized it was time to add to my routines.  It really isn't that much work, but it drives me to a regular schedule and to definite efforts each day, inside and out.

Well, on to whatever.  Good morning, afternoon of many of you, and day all around.

All is well. Mostly.

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The rabbits and ducks are happy.  The girls (cats) are pleased.  The weather is quite pleasant, so I am getting out from time to time to enjoy.  As well, food was made and eaten.  A very reasonable meal.

Still, I am sore.  Aspirin has helped, but only partly.  Further, while aspirin can take pain, it can't take exhaustion or the suffering from it.  There are limits.  Still, a few more aspirin, perhaps a nap as well.

As well, I finally got the computer I was building to a better pair of hands.  Hopefully it will go together.  As well, perhaps I will see it in action.  I found a keyboard, a very nice one.  I sent that along.  If, for it, I received a headset I can use, and have wanted.  I am sure looking forward to seeing how that will all go together.  It is... time.  Late, actually, but... there is time yet.

I would like to get to work.  I just don't have the energy.  Even so, I can go out, speak with the outside critters, treat the girls, and enjoy a bright sun shiny winter day.  I am hoping to get everything arranged for an early bedtime.  As for the ducks?  With the fresh hay they are ever so easy to get to go in.  They are truly enjoying the fresh and very thick bedding.  Plus, is it so much warmer.  They want to go in.

So, perhaps for a bit, getting to bed earlier might be much more possible.  I can't swear I will be getting up earlier.  I may, with a sore body, just need lots more sleep.  It was brutal to wake by even noon today.  So sore.  It was difficult to wake, even more difficult to even set up.  Ugh.  Still, I'll do what I can.  I would take a nap, but that is probably too late.  It would end up really messing with my day cycle, more than the current problem.  I'll... try to keep that.  I need daylight, want it... if I can just hold on.  Later.

So very sore, and tired.

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I have been waking since early, say 06:00?  Never able to wake fully.  I noticed my alarm was off.  I was to bed early enough?  Or... didn't think I would need them.  As it turned out I blew through them and most of the their snooze allowances, waking, finally, at 10:30 or so?  I had one or two more snoozes?  Everything hurts.  I pushed yesterday.  Which is fine, I got a lot done.

Shoulders, hips, and back out of place, biceps, front quads burned to seeming ash, and else... pains and aches here and there.  No headache, oddly.  Hmm... aspirin?  Yea.

I got to chores first thing.  Everyone has been fed and watered... save the girls.  I best get right to them after this.  It is a wonderful day out there.  At 34, as well as bright and shiny, it is quite good.  I won't need to check on water, but I will get out and see them from time to time, filling their water as it will probably go fast.  Just an excuse to be out and enjoy the great weather.  If I can handle 02 barefoot pretty much, you have to know that 34 degrees, and sunny, is alike a Hawaiian vacation for me.

I'd like to do a few more things today.  I am hungry.  Didn't eat correctly yesterday.  Was so hungry though, and being out, went a bit wild.  I'd like to see what I can make today.  Something tasty, but right.  I'll check the pork.  As well, I would like to fry meat crumble, for taco salad.  And, maybe, an egg casserole... if the eggs are still good.  Using the cooked brats and cheeses in there.  Hungry, but for better food.  I should eat something soon.  Definitely hungry.  Later.

Quite a lot done.

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Business, some of it.  The phone now has data as well as phone and text.  Ugh.  As well, I obtained milk and cream.  I needed some dairy.  Oh, yes, indeed.  Hay was purchased, and wood pellets, for the birds.  Should be warmer, fluffier, and with capacity to possibly nest.  Oh, and four more metal feed cans, with lids.

Then, on to the farm, to retrieve the big cage.  The one which will be used for weened feeders.  It will need a little work, and was a bear of a device to move, but will be a wonderful way to distribute feeders to those who would eat of them.  I am planning on stapling the bottom in better, and redoing the roof.  No problem, and it should do well, with just a touch of tlc.  Oh, and there were nesting boxes.  so... it's all a start.

Quite a lot done today.  I even helped with a bit.  My ribs didn't give way, even a bit.  They are a bit sore, but should be.  And the back just a bit.  That was going to be a given.  All good, as expected, nothing outside of the plans.  It was good to be out and getting things done.  Hopefully, tomorrow, I will do some of the mechanical repairs and some house work.  Oh, and a call.  Yes, it is time.

Out by 11:00?  Or so.  Not back until 17:30?  Give or take.  A lot of just riding, and some back and forth while stowing, storing, returning.  Still, a very long day for me.  I did feed all this morning, and watered.  Checked and refreshed their water at halftime, give or take, and then checked their water upon the final return.  It was still running, so I left it until I put the ducks up tonight, then I will pull the waterers.

I already reset the waterers I pulled in earlier, as well as refreshing the girls' water with the remnants.  I clean the waterers each time I used them.  I intended to pick more waterers up today, but they only had the small one, and just one.  Even my single housed doe needs a medium sized one.  And I would bet the minis need a medium if housed alone.  So... I'll check through the month.

All good.  Yes, the girls have been fed as well.  Though they need another treat, then a fuller mean a bit before bedtime.  I'll play games as I give the birds and else time to settle in.  A successful day.  The most done in weeks, perhaps a month?  I need to get to this more often.  Yea.  Oh... I am hoping to cull a few rabbits toward the end of the week, and learn with my neighbor.  For that effort, we will each receive a brace of coneys, probably about five pounds per.  Then I can spread the remaining rabbits out, and begin setting them to bread, with a cage each for the little ones.  And it is time to begin getting the bigger ones to breeding as well.

I may readjust the caging situation, putting the males in the smaller cages, giving the does the bigger areas, so as to nest and live more comfortably.  Though, with the bigger cages I made, I may split those.  Those really are massive, by square inch needs.  Bunnies will be on the way before long... bearing young about 33 to 34 days after conception... for the both the big and little, as to how she saw things.  Although I best make sure I have enough people interested in rabbits before going too deeply in.  A couple of big and a couple of little does, to start.

Anyway.  It was a good day.  I am sore.  My forearms hurt from pushing.  My back has a bit of a sting.  My ribs are just a bit tight.  All good.  That is how I prefer to live.  The sweat of the brow... thought a curse... but in a land of sin it is actually a blessing.  You don't have to believe me.  But that is my story and I am sticking to it.  By the sweat of the brow... as I may.  Good afternoon and day.

Trash out, recycling too, and a start on the stove.

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Well, actually, little bits here and there have been being hit or done.  Not much, some.  Very little things, bits, places, but they add up.  Not to a finished product... or home... perhaps.  But, they do lead up to a start.  It's what I can do.  I didn't realize I was doing things until I started noticing things were done, or beginning.  It's a start.

Yes, bagged.  Yes, to the bins.  Yes, the bins to the curb.  So... yes.  Is it recycling tomorrow?  I hope so.  No great loss if not.  I'll know by early afternoon.

It is later than hoped.  Still, if I do the work, I don't mind staying up later.  It's when I end up lost, at the far end of the day, or early the next morning really, and nothing was done.  That's when frustration sets in.  Not tonight.  I grilled brats.  Might have to have another before bed.  I've eaten two.  Decent keto food.  Hmm, what else could I have with it?  A can of veggies would be nice.  Nothing fancy, but it helps to fill a meal out a bit more.

A shower and chores right away.  Up as early as possible.  Perhaps a bite right away, so as to begin counters and dishes.  A trim before a shower.  An actual shave later?  Maybe.  Hmm, and a few phone calls, if people are back to work yet?  Never can tell how long who will take off.  I'll find out before long.  Oh, and I suppose I should check on my account.  All I can do this month is, maybe, catch up.  Though, perhaps, restart milk and cream supplies.  I am hoping to restart kefir later this month as well.  If so, and it works, I may have to go to two gallons a week.  The kefir grains eat the carbs out of the milk.  And, yeah, I could drink two gallons of kefir a week, being what it is.  Though some is lost in the translation, so I'd only be drinking, perhaps, an gallon and an half?  Well, it seems like it.  Between that, cream, tea, and some minor amounts of meat and veggies... I could do well on keto again.  And head to weight loss without too much fuss.

Good night.

More escapes!

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Two of the littler bucks escaped.  Not through the door, this time.  They made it into the metal manger, which is attached by bailing wire, and somehow broke through then got out.  Two of them didn't escape when they had the opportunity, strangely.  They were easy enough to police and put back in the cage.  One of them was quite huffy about it, the other seemed pleased to be back in.  I have a temporary fix in place.

Other than feeding and watering, and chasing the two youngens... or littlens really... not much else was done today.  I did a bit of grilling, having just absolutely the bare minimum of charcoal left to do the bratwursts.  More a slow cooking at that.  Hmm... I should get trash and recycling together and out, before crashing.  Yea, I really should.  And, getting to bed early, with an alarm set, seems reasonable.  A shower first thing, then chores either immediately after... or after drying a bit.

I really need to do a few things with the cages though.  Mangers on all, rewiring the existing and future mangers well, setting up a few more locks.  The bigger bucks finally chewed through the rope ties.  but I have something else in place as well.  If I would much rather have even more.  I keep looking for the potential momma to begin pulling fur, for nesting.  That will, more than anything, tell me she is about due.  Give that a day, then put in the nesting box, filled with some hay or wood chips or such.  Anything before that, and she marks it and turns it into a latrine.  Bleh.

I hear the checks, the $600 ones, may be in.  I'll have to check tomorrow.  If so, beside some payback, I would like to pick up a few more bales of hay, a few more waterers, and... actually that is it.  I want to add waterers slowly, over time.  Say five each month, for the next three months?  That gives me plenty.  Mostly larger ones.  I have no idea how much will be needed for the weened wee ones, but I'd guess, if eight to a batch, two large ones per group.  And, in warmer and colder weather, probably two of those a day.  Odd, but if they stay thawed, one does.  Leaving an extra out at night, it just freezes.  Whereas if it's colder, I have to change them out just so that they can get enough water, and in the warmer weather, they need the extra water.

Ducks are doing well.  I moved to pool to near the hydrant, which is deep enough so that freezing isn't a problem.  And, now I can just fill the pool as needed.  Being warmer, I am not tipping it at night, though that will happen yet, as weather will fluctuate.  I am almost sure I have stone duck eggs around somewhere.  You put those out, and after a few pecks, they learn not to try to eat eggs.  Which I really think they are doing.  Ugh...  They are cannibals regarding eggs, and murderous to chicks.  I'll have to figure that out.  I have enough meat ducks to allow a few to go broody, it's a matter of figuring out how to arrange that.  It's a lot of work, and some thinking, and some hoping.  

The question is whether to try to pen them, with the ducklings... or to just show some of the hens where the eggs are being hidden, so that they will tend the nest... but leave it mostly open.  Ugh...  Wait... she did that, but she had dogs and goats for protection.  Still, it's... possible.  They can't nest high, though.  And, that is only for the meat birds.  The egg birds would have to be separated... the broody hen.  But, I don't have enough hens at the moment to let one go.  Bleh.

I'll keep thinking, planning, and trying.  Live and learn.  It's a difficult process, until it isn't.  Until, again, it is.  Everything you learn well, you learn from loss... mistake.

Well, on to a bit of work, then to bed.  Good night.

Better, yet not.

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Awake, early... earlier... tired and sore even so.  I think I went to bed between 20:00 and 20:30, give or take an hour around that first number more like.  I slept well, was warm all night, and relatively comfortable.  I woke before the eight alarm, turned it off as I thought I would wake... but didn't... not until almost nine?  A quarter to, I think.  Nasal congestion headache, didn't help, and isn't.  I cleared all, doesn't matter.

Chores finished right after waking.  And the girls were given a snack.  It is dark out, which also isn't helping.  It is 22 F, so not a bad day.  If it feels a bit cooler.  Not as bad as some days, yet not as warm as 22 should feel.  Then again, it is lightly snowing... in such a way as to make one wet if out in it a bit.  That is probably the nature of the extra cold sensation.  Moisture, in the winter, is a chilling thing.

After finishing chores, I decided to check laundry.  Good thing too, I must have done a load of laundry yesterday, but forgotten about them.  There was no off smell.  The relative short forgetting time, and it being winter.  I have, in Iowa albeit, seen what can happen if laundry is left too long.  It's a horrifying thing.  It takes lots of rewashings, with bleach, and other cleaning stuff.  And some clothes just... best to toss.  One time of creating a green blob of materials will teach greater caustion.  Since, this is about the longest I have forgotten laundry.  I still get horrible flashbacks when I realized clothes are in the washer, wet, for a day.  I approach the area with caution.

I am losing days.  I thought it was Saturday still... after, on Friday, thinking it was Saturday.  Bleh.  I guess it makes sense.  So tired, still.  Even with a lot of sleep last night.  I am hoping to finish chores early, again, and be to bed by 18:00~19:00, or as close as possible.  A few days of that, and extra sleep, perhaps I can figure life out a bit better.  A task tomorrow, perhaps.  Will see.

Yes, well, right.

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I did get the ducks in, right after 18:00, plus brought the waterers in... all still flowing.  None had frozen.  As well, I brought in a pail of water.  I use that to refill the waterers, adding the extra... which is the majority... to the container for the cat waterer, a three gallon plastic dish basin.  I won't be doing any other work.  I am just trying to figure a way to bed.  Have to wake before I can get to sleep?  Something like that.

I have tried a dozen ways to water the girls.  Little bowls, which went bad so quickly... and there was never enough.  I even tried a fountain type watering system, with 64 ounces.  But that went bad pretty fast too.  I finally did a dish pan, actually as a temporary until I could get the fountain cleaned.  But they loved the dishpan so much, when I set up the fountain, they wouldn't use it... waiting for the dishpan.  So... they got it back, and so it has stayed.

As mentioned, they had been drinking softened water.  Which always concerned me.  But not enough to figure something out.  Then, when I started watering rabbits, and using the outside tap, and pretreated water, the way I do it means there is extra water brought in, twice a day.  So be it.  I just use the extra for the girls.  It took them a while to adjust, but I do think they like it better.  If nothing else, their water is refreshed twice a day rather than once every two or three days.

You can tell if water is working for the girls... or any cat... if they keep themselves exceptionally clean.  In the winter that does suffer a bit.  But once temps hit even the forties to fifties outdoors, they really groom much better.  Though, even in the winter, lots of fresh water gives them a better chance at being very clean, keeping their fur up to standards.  Plus, as with any women, if they are happy, you... have a slim chance more at trying to stay sane.  :p

My problem is I need something to eat, but I'm not sure what to eat!  I don't want to cook.  But... might have to, or grill?  Hungry!  Hmm... perhaps chips and salsa.  

So very tired.

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Nothing doing about anything.  I am glad to be able to remain awake, or mostly.  So very tired.  The sleepy sort of tired.  Which is fine.  I did get chores finished.  I have since checked on the waterers.  All good.  It is warm enough that they haven't frozen.  Food is going slowly.  Odd though, how at 32 F, give or take, it seems cooler.  Then again, there is a breeze, fairly constant... almost a wind but not quite though just barely.

I do like checking on the critters.  As children might, they like it... and don't.  It is nice to be looked after, but it's not nice to have eyeballs over your shoulder too often.  And... what is too often is more a subjective than objective thing... in these terms anyway.  Sometimes I try to watch without them knowing.  So they don't get so upset.  It is a joy to watch them do their things.

I did get a shower in, if I hadn't mentioned it.  Such a splendid invention.  I know, if cold water was all that was available, I would skip bathing in the winter.  Just... wouldn't go there.  When I was younger, not only did I bath when it was cold, I did so just to prove out.  Now?  I have nothing to prove.  And cold is just... cold.

Back to gaming.  I'll try to get the ducks in early tonight, then pull the waterers... all right around hard dusk, so 18:00~18:30.  Then to get to bed.  I am going to have to push it to get there, but not too much.  Just a bit.  So tired.  Have a great day.

Well? Awake, I suppose.

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I did get to bed earlier, but... not all that much earlier.  I think it was around one?  A bit after.  I did set the alarms.  Blew through the first one, but the second one, in time, eventually woke me, or... lead to my waking.  Ugh.  Brutal.  The girls tried to help too.  They know when they want me up, but they also seem to know when I want, or am able (possibly) to wake, and will help.  Still, it was quite difficult to be awake before noon, I think before eleven.  But I did it.

A shower first thing, well and turning the heat up.  I treated the girls, as well.  Hmm... then rested as I wake.  Next I will get their litter, do chores, and... maybe make something to eat?  Yes.  I think that would be good.  A handful of pistachios already, but that's not best to eat as a whole meal.  A started snack, and occasional snack.

It looks like I am beating the ringworm.  A thick layer of desiccated skin has been coming loose.  I tried to peel it, but that... didn't work the best.  So I have been clipping it off, carefully.  Under is a fresh layer of underskin, as perhaps with a popped blister, which will have to grow out.  That is the price of getting rid of that, and a price easily paid.  I am still spraying it two to three times a day.  And will until I feel that the recovery will happen uncontested by the fungi... at least a few more days.

I think I pissed off a friend a while back.  He suggested he always felt like the adult, when around me.  He doesn't prefer that.  I suggested that that was the plan, but not the truth.  He... didn't like that, nor understand it.  He may not have believed it, either.  It is a mindful... and it isn't a comfortable notion.  The truth is, I only take over when there are no options.  And, should I do so, it is merely to an exacting end which I see a path.  As well, as much as possible, I will not reveal my involvement.  It was always your idea.  Trust me.  Though, often, I am unsure I should do so, only feeling compelled occasionally rightly or wrongly.

Well, that could all just be a story... or at least the parts I didn't actually state... the last parts.  Perhaps I am delusional.  Or, maybe, I really do... certain things in certain ways, and only when I see necessity.  Either way, that would be uncomfortable for some.  If what I say is true, it is in part because being in charge takes a great deal of energy.  I don't have it to spend on a permanent stake in life.  As well, I have always hated leadership, so not wanted to be a party to it.  If it is untrue, well... so be it.

I dreamed of having this conversation, carried out, last night.  How can you believe that?  Why would you do that?  Etc.  Not happy was the youngling.  Though, I have to say, until you understand to let go of the steering wheel most of the time, possibly even right to an accident?  That is beginning to know some aspect of God.  I am no where near so good, but... I am far closer than most of you would understand.  Or... that is my story, and I am sticking to it.  Be at peace, younglings.  And elders.  Though... I should add... even when I take the wheel?  I... realize it is not I who is in charge.  Even then.  It... causes me... wonder... about God too.  What... just exactly what... how? does He do, and not do, as He does?  ...or doesn't?  Amen.

I best get socks, shoes, and else on, and get to chores.  It's running late.  But... such is life for the near dead.  Ugh.  Have a good day.

About oyster stew.

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I realize some things, tonight.  As well, I implemented a few new things.  And will implement something else next time.  If I can recall.  The addition of guar gum was excellent.  I have tried to thicken it with heavy cream, butter, and else.  To no success.  But this?  This was excellent.  It will always be a guestimate sort of thing.

For this, at about half a cup of heavy cream, a stick of butter, two cups of milk, plus the oysters and juice, an half teaspoon, gelled in a quarter cup of the hottest tap water I have, created the perfect amount of slurry to thicken the pot.  I did add spice as well.  Cracked freshly ground black pepper, a touch of onion and garlic powder, and for my money... a dash of ground coriander.  Oh, it was solid.  Oh, and about an half teaspoon of salt.

Now, what I didn't do either time, but will try to remember to do if I ever make it again?  After doing the oysters, getting them to curl... pull them immediately.  Let them cool as the rest of the broth finishes.  It needs to be hot, where heating too long will harden the oyster.  Not the best.  Oh, and if oysters aren't your thing?  As they aren't my favorite (if I will eat them, obviously)?  Add mushrooms!  Oh my word, that with the butter, and flavor of the stew, definitely does well.  If you put them in raw, you really need to let them cook a while.  Seriously very good call.  I had some on hand, and believed they might do well, and that thought turned gold.

The ducks are in.  Rabbits were watered freshly three to four hours ago.  Then just a bit ago, their waterers were brought in.  Since I am out that way anyway, bringing in a pail of fresh water to refill the waterers, I am also bringing in fresh water from the tap, for the girls.  So, they get fresh water every day, and that gets refreshed twice as day.  I had been giving them softened water, which did cause some concern.  I am much happier to be giving them fresh water.  The reverse osmosis simply doesn't put out enough to keep up with the cats too.  I need to work on that, but... not for the cats.

I had thought it already Saturday.  Not sure why, sleep issues, I suppose.  Glad that it is just still Friday.  Hopefully some work tomorrow.  Not much today, but sleep was so off... insomnia almost destroyed me.  I am hoping to be to bed much earlier tonight.  I'll sleep alone, tonight.  The girls haven't been coming up anyway.  Not sure why.  Oh well.  Good night.

So very tired!

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I have eaten, yesterday and today, enough.  Almost.  I hadn't been eating for days, or... longer.  Not well.  I turned the heat up, as is the usual lately.  I even dressed slightly warmer than usual, which hasn't helped either.  Even with the day being about 28 F, mostly, so rather warm comparatively.  What I am doing isn't enough to keep me very well awake and aware.  I'll keep at it.

I didn't wake until late.  But ducks and rabbits were tended immediately.  As well, I have been out to check on their water since.  It was all good.  At least a few hours ago.  I may put fresh out shortly, then pull then when I shut the ducks up for the night.  The rabbits take turns eating more, or more quickly, or less.  Though there are a few groups which always tend to eat more or less, most are variable.

I only had one bowl of oyster stew last night.  I was a bit nervous about my process, so only used one of the doses of oyster.  Which means more tonight!  Oh, and while eating it, I did think about it.  The oysters themselves?  They are... okay.  Not my absolute favorite.  What I really do enjoy is the liquids... milk, cream, and oyster stuff.  Well, and butter.  I do like the stew flavor, if the oysters themselves are only so-so.  I do enjoy them raw much more.  Crazy but true... iced though, but definitely with the juice itself, and lemon or lime, though plain isn't horrible.  Cooked?  They can get a bit tough.  Another batch of that stuff, coming up.  Though I will add salt.  It really does need some.  All else was good about my process.

I may be able to get to bed early.  Oh... someone suggested a video.  That video suggested that, when reaching ketosis, insomnia is a common symptom, side effect, choose your term.  Fair enough.  Although I think, with my splurge, I probably kicked out of ketosis.  Even volume can do that, if this wasn't all of the problem.  Though, another part of my problem, might be dropping out, then kicking back into, ketosis too quickly.

At this point, my body goes into keto fairly quickly.  Then, as I'm getting the flu etc symptoms, I drop out.  Which... has it's own problems.  Kicking back and forth, as I go into and off of the system, leaves me fairly vulnerable.  I need an even keel, but can't seem to find or maintain one on my own.  So... just like dropping of doctor prescribed medicine, dropping off healthy eating can really do a number on me.  Ugh.  But, yes, I am pretty sure that is part of the problem currently.  Now that ribs are... pretty much healed.  I think that last time I disturbed them, they reset really quickly.  It is like they needed to be hurt in order to finish healing?  I am wondering.  I was able to move bags of feed fairly easily the other day.  I have to move some of them, again, soon.  So will know more.  But I think... the ribs are good finally.

Oh, and a call with my brother!  A good call.  I... wasn't sure we would ever speak again.  It... isn't my issue.  I am not exactly sure what his problems were.  He never said.  They remain, but... we got through this call.  Politics is part of it.  The past, for his part, is part of it.  There are a few other things, but from his side, not mine.  I played my part, then, but have since let go.  We shouldn't even discuss politics though.  Probably not religion either.  Or his family.  Or the past.  Not for my part.  Still, it was a good call.  And... he... impressed me with a choice.  It will remain private, but I am well pleased.

Later.  Probably.

Aha! I figured out thickening.

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Not for tonight, but for the other soup.  Adding pigs feet, tripe, even chicken feet... plus of course homemade stock.  Those, in parts or combined, will release gelatin and else, plus fats, which thicken like nothing else can do.  Those will, probably, be best cooked first, then removed... or the fluid ladled out... then begin with the actual edibles.  Yes, I have been looking.  As well, I found an excellent recipe for keto sweet and sour soup.  Oh I love that.

Never did get to gaming.  I will game, just a bit, before bedtime.  Good night, sweet dreams, see you next year?  Aye... one way or another.  Cheers. 

Happy New Year!

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Well, as close, or nearly, as I am going to get.

I let the ducks in, and shut them down.  Had to chase the whole lot of them in.  Chase?  Hmm.  Slow walk them in.  Then waterers were pulled.  They hadn't frozen, and were mostly empty.  Very good.

I will play a game for a bit, then have oyster stew.  I do enjoy that, mostly.  Though it may more be the butter and tradition than actual flavor?  I'll know more in a bit.  I always think I am going to really enjoy, but rarely do.  Still, I will eat them every other or every third year, more often if I could keep my mind focused.  I have so few traditions that I need to keep the ones I have... when I can.  It was either that or chili.  And, chili, mostly, is off limits.  I suppose once a year... yea.  Next year, one for one eve, the other for the next eve.

So pleased to start with groceries on hand, and food for critters, plenty for the next few months.  The trick is to buy when it is about at half.  I'd like to do price checking, but... that's not how feed works.  Tomorrow I will begin working on a serious meat and vegetable stew, thickened with psyllium husk and/or gum of guar?  Some such.  An actual natural product, used for keto thickening.  The trick is to find out how much to use.  And it will be hot, though not sweet.  I wonder if there is a keto sweet and hot recipe.  That is about the only oriental food I miss.  The soup... minus tofu.  Hmm, might try some of that in the oyster soup... to try to make it more stewlike... since I won't be using soup crackers.  Worth a shot.

Anyway.  Happy New Year.  Enjoy.  Maybe we will see each other tomorrow.  Good evening and night.

Out!

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I... didn't know if I could.  I... wasn't sure there would be money.  Still, in spite of all my fears, doubts, and else, I got in my vehicle and headed into town.  Groceries.  I've been living on dirt for far too long.  No, I wanted food.  I had to check my account first.  You... never know.  All good.  It was in.  I had gassed up last time I was out, so all good that way.  I pulled just a few dollars, so I have something more than a five and some ones, if not much more.  Then to the store.

Groceries.  Sure, everyone (else) is masked up.  I just smile.  I don't think they are afraid of china flu, they believe Biden won.  They expect the crackdown.  Even those who would like to believe otherwise, nominally like me, don't believe Trump will carry through.  They wear masks out of dejection and a failure of leadership?  I have seen nothing indicating, historically or presentationally, that Trump will do it.  And, yet, I... actually have one last hope.

I know that if he fails to secure the US vote, that is that.  It means... bad things.  Worse things.  Either way, I won't wear the mask.  As was actually thanked for it... for not wearing the mask.  All I said was... "Any day"!  *grins*  I simply will not follow the herd.  Especially one which is cowed by fear.  Of this or that.  I looked upon them with... sympathy.  For I know no empathy for such.

Shopping!  There was no kale, but cabbage will do.  Mushrooms, mixed stew vegetables, celery stalks, and more.  It should make for a very pleasant stew.  I will just use the chipped pork butt meat.  I have sixteen ounces of beef stock ready.  Not much prep, really.  The vegetables are prepped, mostly.  Could be smaller?  Celery is by the stalk but needs sliced.  Meat is cooked.  Mushrooms are sliced.  I simply need to put it together.  And, actually, I will be using reverse osmosis water for this.

Not tonight.  A tradition, as much as we had one, was oyster on either Christmas even or New Year's Eve.  It's New Year's Eve this year.  As I was checking out, I realized I had no milk or cream.  While I have restarted that, it doesn't begin until next week.  I had enough that I could get back and grab milk and cream, being back just in time to add it to the last items.  What a rush.  So, that for tonight... sans soup crackers.  But... all good.

I have checked the rabbit waterers several times today.  It is warmer, but... not perfectly.  I was able to reset their water once, had to change it the next time, then reset it when returning home from the store.  Happy little critters.  As well, on the way home, I stopped and picked up four rabbit food bags, and five duck feed bags.  I am hoping to also buy three more metal cans, perhaps four.  As feed storage.  Plus, perhaps, a few more waterers.  Just a few a month, say four, until I have enough to change them out up to three times a day, for two days.  They will need the water in the summer, constantly.  Probably need it now, but the cold and my real limits only allow what I can offer... three to four chances at water per days, during the day... or whatever passes for my day.  They are helping me keep on track, for now.

Next month I may buy the duck pellets.  I bought the loose stuff, mostly meat feeder stuff, this month.  A few more cans, a few bags of that stuff, and then I feel more secure.  Just incase things, businesses, money, come to a screeching halt.  I want to have a month or two extra feed.  If it all goes to hell, I have time to butcher.  I don't want them to starve.

All good.  A very good day.  I am hoping to do a bit of work in the bathroom, and clean some counters.  Plus the last of the chores... putting ducks up and pulling waterers.  Later.

Late but at it.

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To bed past 01:15.  Perhaps as much as an half hour later.  Somewhere in there.  Still, fighting to get to bed earlier.  And... that is earlier.  Insomnia calls me, like a wisp in the forest, drawing me into a land where sleep and wakefulness are banished, only gray skies, muted sounds, shadows, and suspicion lives.  I resist, as I may.  Forcing myself to bed before I venture too far into to that forest to find my way out.  It takes care, when being drawn in so seemingly sweetly.

I woke, the first time, just before the eight alarm.  In time to shut it down before it went off.  I would have just disturbed, not awaken.  I was hoping for the ten alarm.  Then, the mower-plow was kicked over.  That... helped... somehow.  Then, finally, and about twenty to ten, I was able to kick out.  This is normally about when I start chores, so... I just got right into it.

Oh, but I started out dressing rightly first thing.  It does help one to feel human.  But it isn't feasible without a clean body.  Anyway, dressed, and down to it.  The neighbor was back, after I finished the ducks and while preparing for the rabbits.  So we spoke just a bit.  He had to be tested for covid, recently.  He had cold features, it was required to return to work.  Checked out, for whatever that means with their terrible testing.  Though, I didn't think covid had anything to do with cold symptoms?  Then again, I'm not sure there really is anything but the flu... being called covid.  Death rates are just lower... with covid.

I checked to temp, before going back to the chores.  It is 22!  Warm wave.  I mean it.  This is so much better.  It must have... warmed... sometime in the night.  As the duck pond, which I forgot to empty, only had a thinner sheet of ice... an inch perhaps, versus three to four inches of late.  Very nice.  Even the ducks are in a better mood for it.  The rabbits don't... emote a great deal.

Now, as to rabbits.  I finally have their feeding down.  Will they ask for more?  Always.  But I have their amounts pegged.  I do give an ounce more, per animal, but that's it.  Save for the mini does.  I probably give them a couple ounces extra.  They just... seem to need.  So be it.  Further, I have decided to clear some of the minis.  I would like to keep four, two bucks and two does, for breeding.  Which leaves two of each to be culled.  It's merely a matter of sorting out their dispatching.  Cleaning isn't so difficult.  Butchering them is probably easier than doing a chicken.  They are older, but not too much older.  Then again, I may wish to hold off until I am sure they can/do breed and produce.  At this point, this exact breed is irreplaceable, and I really don't want mixed breeds.  So... a while longer, if I best get started with husbandry.

As for ducks, I am waiting until they produce, or figuring out how to get them to produce.  No eggs, which leads me to suspect they are eating their own eggs... which means obtaining stone "eggs".  And, perhaps, creating nesting areas for the hens.  I can't cull until they are producing.  It's... akin to eating the seed corn, a survival dependent act of desperation.  At least with these, though, if there is a duckopalypse, I can get more.

Well.  Today?  Calls, dishes, counters, bathroom?  That is the idea... I need to wake, more, first.  Just because I was able to kick out chores first thing... which is a bit of luck anyway... doesn't mean I was at all ready for the day.  I need... to... wake, more fully.  Grasp the world, work my way out of bed in the mind rightly.  Then I'll get to it.  Later.

Cold just reached a new low.

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The thermometer says it is 14 F, or so.  Well, and that it is.  However, even with dry hands, touching metal right now causes the skin and metal to merge.  Something different about this cold.  And, it seemed to be snowing.  There may or may not be actual snow in there.  It may just be frozen air.  Seriously, there is something very different.  Humidity is reading 24%, indoors.  I am betting it is below that out there.  Which is why even the very mild dampness of skin sticks to metal.

Everything has a frost to it, that is outside.  I forgot the mostly empty feed bucket out there.  Even the feed had hoary frost on it!  Something unusual is happening.  I would not wish to find myself out in that for long at all, without serious preps.  Warm clothes, fire-starting equipment, and a strong penchant for prayer.  It is one of the spookiest cold events I have seen... at least here.  This is, pretty much, a warm spell in Iowa... or used to be.  Seriously.  A -40 in Iowa was pretty common, and I have been through a two month session where the highest in that period and a bit more was negative twenty.... as the highest temperature for over two months, perhaps closing on three months.  Still, this is different.  Iowa was never dry, not like this, unless it was much much colder.

The ducks and rabbits seem okay.  The ducks are keeping their water open, which probably means they have been swimming.  Other than that, all seems okay.  The rabbits, too, seem okay.  The littler ones have four to a cage, so can cuddle if all else fails.  I did try to get their waterers to work, but the freezing was just too strong, so I replaced their waterers.  I may do so again, as cold as it is.  So have reset the waterers I brought in... just letting them warm.  Oh, and I closed their tarps down, as if for night setting.  Hopefully to allow them to stay warmer.  Brutal out there.

I got a shower.  Finished chores.  Finished laundry.  I should set up dishes, and perhaps get ready to clear and clean more counter space and get trash and recycling ready.  Ugh.  So cold, so tired.  I do have the heat up, it just isn't mattering in this weird spell.  Hmm, perhaps something to eat would help.  What could I mix some of the pulled pork with?  I'll have to check.  I am sure there is something to go with it.  Doesn't have to be fancy.  Later.

Down late, up late.

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A sort of gravity thing.  Even so, I am up, proportionally earlier.  Down at 02:30, perhaps later... that was the last time I saw.  Up by 10:00, actually a bit earlier... fifteen to an half hour earlier.  So, only seven hours down.  Still, it's an uncomfortably wake.  I don't feel at all good, or about it.  But it is time.  I need to get feed and water going.

On the good side, that massive headache which has been a plague was tempered by aspirin last night.  It has been a suffering something awful, all by itself, for days.  The ibuprofen did nothing.  Ignoring it did nothing.  I took another handful today.  It isn't as bad, sleep was painless unlike since it started, but at waking it... is back... coming back.  It is lighter but I am so very tired of being that pained.  I will try aspirin again.  I try to go without, but sometimes the need is greater than the want.

Strange dreams, but they dissipated with the sun.  In part because I was too tired when I went to bed, and when I woke.  Other dreams, remembered, recently, but not important.  Not all that interesting either.  Sharing a cab with a worldly man, while trying to track down... where I used to be, where I lived for a while, given inheritance of a place I used to know, reside within.  I just couldn't remember, and he was just interested in business, so we had to take turns calling locations.  It... might mean something to some of you.  And I see some things in it.  But just... personal things.

A shower, first thing, this morning.  I did get the port shredded, bagged, and refrigerated last night!  It was the last thing done.  It was pleasing to watch as it was done and stowed.  Now, to craft a barbeque sauce for it.  As well, laundry was all done, and the last load put in the dryer, at least the first time.  I'll need to do a morning dose on it, to shake out any remaining moisture.

A trim before the shower.  A shave after?  Hopefully.  Then chores.  Gaming as a rest period thing, work as I am able, and keeping up on the waterers.  It's cold out there.  I'll bet it's just as cold as yesterday.  It was down to 50 upstairs?  Weird.  I haven't checked outdoors yet.  Chores, a few business calls, a familial call, and cleaning in the bathroom and kitchen to begin.  Yes.  That's the plan.

Ugh, but I feel so wretched.  Nausea... light, headache, a general worn feel, tossed in with a vague ill sense.  I'll figure it out and try to get to it anyway.  Good morning and day.

Way too late.

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So be it.  Some nights just... drag.  I can neither sleep nor work nor play.  So... I... get lost.

It must be a trick?  I don't know.  I just feel like... well...

No worries.  I'll do what I may, as I am able.  It'll work.  Good night... if I still have a bit to do.

A strange day.

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Bits done.  No business, today.  Tomorrow, I must.  Laundry was run through, two loads.  Chores, and keeping up on water.  I missed a bit, and it was all frozen, so new waterers.  These the bunnies used to completion, or close.  Food is all gone, save the little guys.  Sometimes they eat more, sometimes less.  Today it was much less.  I check, to make sure food hasn't gotten stuck in the chute.  So it isn't that.

I also grilled chops, then put a pork roast on for a low, slow, cook.  I understand why they use barbeque sauce, pork can sometimes be just a bit bitter.  I may work a sauce up tomorrow.  I have keto ketchup.  With a bit of work, some of that can be turned into a sauce.  Hot, vinegary or not, thicker or thinner, hotter or mild, etc... whichever way I want to go with it.  Then, try some keto buns, perhaps a fathead dough sort?  I've been wanting to try these things.  I am planning on shredding the pork.  This is the first time I dared leave it long enough that it is literally falling off the bone, and apart.  It is tasty, but as mentioned, slightly bitter.  I hope the sauce helps with that.

Funny thing is, I handled the cold quite well today.  I mean extremely well.  Before I was awake enough to realize what I was doing, I was out doing chores.  I had meant to take a shower first thing (which I still plan to do as well tonight).  But hadn't gotten to it.  So?  So I went out without any socks on.  Or even a second layer under my pj's.  Or third, as I often do.  And, yea, it was about 2 F out there this morning.  I never did, obviously, get to the shower, or put socks on.  Didn't need them?  Apparently not.  The several more times I was out for chores, and while setting up the grill then checking the food, I was out without socks.  Just flip-flops, if of the sideways band sort.  Hmm... imagine that.  I AM still an ogre, or bear, or giant of a milder size.  Not all dead, or too old, yet.

I thought that might be due to blood sugar?  I just checked... fifteen minutes after eating between half and a pound of grilled pork roast, it read 144.  So... no, I don't think so.  No... I... haven't been taking insulin, either.  Odd, that.  I... just... got lost in things.  Still, I actually should get back on my heart medicine.  That really is becoming... spooky.  Yes, I have a very strange anatomy.  I guess I really have been eating less.  I think a few hundred calories a day for... well... a while... and a while before the last bigger meal I had, even two or three of the last bigger meals I have had.  I'm not hungry, or thirsty, even when I am.  *shrug*

Well... I best get to some things.  Good evening and night.

The headache remains.

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Not so bad as last night.  And I am moving slowly to keep it that way.  I'll take a few aspirin this morning.  Actually, it was ibuprofen which was consumed last night.  I thought it might be due to inflammation, as the back of my neck was sore, and likely the source.  Didn't even touch it.  So, aspirin this morning.  Not  quite getting nauseous from it, but close.  Still, with meats thawed, I'm thinking breakfast before long... a pork chop and eggs, with a side of... nothing, actually.  Still, that should be good.

I went to fill the duck pond this morning.  Something got to the hose, chewed one end all to bits.  I am guessing it was a deer or cow looking for water.  They know hoses, apparently.  I had to find another hose.  While it was the shortest lightest one I could find, it is too heavy.  I will use it for now, replace it with a twenty five footer as soon as possible.

While it is cold out, just as cold as yesterday morning, with the sun up and out, it feels a lot better.  Or I'm just in better shape?  I had no trouble doing all of the chores, all at once, only going in once to grab rabbit food and waterers without spending any time warming.  The rabbits are doing well.  The mini does are the most skittish creatures I have.  The ducks, even the younglings, are less frightened of me.  I suppose size and other limits leave them no choice.

I have set up laundry, but am waiting to get a shower in to start those.  Then I'll set up dishes, perhaps making a pan of water to begin clearing the kitchen counters off and then cleaning those.  A few phone calls today?  Yea.  A bit of business, a bit of medicine...  I will.  I will get to it.  already started.  Further, I'm not getting back into pj's.  I'll dress proper, and feel like an adult.  Just for today?  I'd like to do it for a week, and begin taking some of my life back.

The week is back to getting my home in order for... well... you will see or you won't.  Never can tell exactly how things will work out.  Mysterious ways.  Good morning and day.

Massive headache.

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I am still awake for it.  Took aspirin a bit ago, to no good.  I'll just have to go to bed as is.

I finished with the rabbits and ducks just a bit ago.  I guess I lost track, while hoping the aspirin would work.  It's been hours.  Just lost time.  The rabbits ended up drinking most of the water, somehow.  It has gotten colder, again, in steps.  It is now at 5, down from 12, down from 17 as a high.  I emptied the duck pond, grabbed the waterers, and got in as quickly as possible.

I did have a dinner.  I am wondering if the headache is from not having eaten in a bit too long.  Well, not nearly enough.  A few hundred calories a day is bad for the carburater.  I haven't even been drinking much, down to as little as an half gallon, or even have that on leaner days.  Just no gumption to get it.  Not thirsty.  A very strange thing, for me to be off my feedbag.  Or the headache is a symptom of what might be causing me to be off my feed?

I have more meats thawing.  I should be back to food.  I found beef stock, which I am hoping to turn into a stew of some sort before too long.  It'll work with chicken thigh meat and veggies.  Though I would rather have a roast of some sort.  Which is something thawing, rather than thighs anyway.  I simply need to get fresh mushrooms, cabbage, carrots, and maybe a few other things.  No potatoes... this time... perhaps a try at broccoli or cauliflower?  Maybe.  I want it very vegetal and yet very meaty too.  And thick.  Perhaps with some decent spice to it, hot spice.  I am getting closer to dipping my toes into soups and stews.  Why so afraid?  My efforts, to date, have been absolute failures.  I'll... find a solid recipe.  Go that way.

Good night. 

A last watering.

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I caught them just as, or just before, they froze up.  Shaking and just a bit else, and flow was returned... for a while.  They all seem to have fed well.  Drinking has been a bit shy, if there are limits to availability.  I opened the water for the ducks, and checked their food.  All good.  There is a light layer of freeze on top, nothing the ducks can't break through.  Still, I do it for them, then stir it all.  It keeps it more open for them.

As I finished, I checked the temperature.  It is back down to 12.  What of a sun we had today is going back down.  If it isn't dark out, it will be in half an hour at most.  We did get a very little bit of heat from it, I'll take what I can get.  I'll bet it is going to be another very cold night.  I best empty the duck pond while collecting the waterers.  I can't wait for summer, at least for the watering part.  I shouldn't have trouble with overheating, not with them mostly in the shade, and many bottles of frozen water to offer.  Enough bottles for two a day, per rabbit, if needs be.  A sprinkler on a timer might not be horrible either?

Oh, finally cleared the freezer, and pulled meat.  It has been a long time since I have had a passable meal.  I have several meats thawing, one on the faster track... hopefully for dinner in two hours.  One hour to thaw, one to absorb salt, then set the grill an half hour through the salting process.  It's how I do.  Well, and a can of veggies, with butter.  Peas, corn, green beans, beats?  Maybe a mix of two.  Yea.  I... could sure use a bite.

Later.  Maybe good night already.  Not sure.

Still quite chill out there.

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With it being so cold, I have been checking the waterers every few hours.  I changed the nipples, and shook them up, last time.  They drank happily after.  This time the whole bottles needed changing out.  They were pretty much frozen from the nipple to an half inch around the outer parts of the bottles.  Fresh, warm, waterers were put out.  I will check on those in a few hours.

It is up to 17 F.  Perhaps these will last longer.  I will check in a few hours again.  But that is that.  I may have to change the nipples, they freeze fairly quickly.  Though, being warmer, and with fresh warm water, they may be pretty good yet.  One last insurance of access to water, then I'll call it that.  Leave them too it until the ducks are to be put up, then just pull the waterers.

Oh, the mini does haven't been eating hay, they just pulled it out and threw it down.  Hmm?  I suppose, like real women, who do the same with toilet paper?  It's... a wiring issue in the female brain.  *sigh*  *laughs*  But they really do eat the most, per rabbit, per pound, of all my critters.  And they drink the most!  It... must be a perpetual bachelorette party?  Ha!  And it well might be.

Even dressed well, and with gloves, a hat, and handling warm waterers, it was a very hard cold out there.  I couldn't tell the difference between seventeen and zero.  If I think there is more of a breeze going currently.  The valley is breathing, and it's noticeable.  Still, I'd rather winter than summer, if spring and fall are becoming my more favored... when they behave as one should expect.

I really have to get to some things, but am so tired.  I'm not sure how to get to them!  I will try.  Later.

So very cold, and dark.

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I finished chores.  Had to come inside and take minor breaks.  It is zero, 0, F, again.  Time is my enemy in that.  I used to be able to handle zero fairly well, even as mentioned down to -20 F, even -40 on a good bad day.  Age wins the day, I guess.  That is with gloves and extra layers and winter boots!  How did I do that when I was even a few years younger?  Crazy.

The mini does have gone through a whole second batch of timothy hay, while the gents have only gone through about half a similar amount.  The other rabbits haven't finished a quarter of that.  Okay.  Most were thirstier than hungry.  I did minor adjustments, up or down, today.  I'll leave it at these amounts for the next week.  Then check and possibly adjust again.

Glad I tipped the duck pond last night.  It would have been frozen solid, as the level was down, and it was so cold.  The ducks really didn't want to leave this early.  Funny thing.  Still, I opened it up, and they... seemingly more by habit, came streaming out.  All were happy to see fresh water.  Even as cold as that water might seem, if it is above freezing?  It is warmer than the air.  It is also above 32 F, or it would be ice.  To them, that is warm.  Splash!  Quack!  I'll... bet their balls are on the inside!  :p

After that, I started failing.  Cloudy to near dark, that cold, and just because.  I went down at around 10:00.  It felt like I slept for hours and hours.  Waking just now, at 11:12, I am thinking of going back to bed?  Maybe not.  I will do a quick check on the waterers, make sure they are flowing.  And, perhaps, check the temp.  It may have risen, the sun seems be out or trying to get out.  It was 61 upstairs.  I suppose, with that branch gone, even modest sunlight really heats the place.  This summer will be brutal though.  That branch covered the length of my roof, and probably twenty to thirty feet of breadth, no more than five to ten feet above it.  Warmer in the winter, but absolutely brutal in the summer, more than ever before.  Ugh.

I'd best figure out something to eat.  The cold really uses juice.  Stay warm, dry, and fed, if possible.  If not, find some tune to whistle while you work if you must.  Auf Viederschreiben.

Better without improvement?

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Mostly.  I didn't make it down as early as hoped, but I did get down well before midnight.  I was in bed by between 21:30 and 22:30, more middling if I had to lay odds.  I woke, initially, at 04:00, exactly.  Turned off the fan, as that will keep me under, then went back to sleep.  It seemed like hours, but I woke at 05:00 exactly... for the second and final time.  I pretty much just got up then.

Not quite ready for the day, but I want to be up.  I want to keep my day schedule.  I have been doing very well, for a while now.  It helps me feed the critters on a more regular schedule, if more based on sunrise than an some random hour.  I am not sure if that is good enough, but it is the best I can do, when I am going to be able to do it.

Colder than usual, upstairs.  At 53 or 55, it just... usually it stays 57 to 59.  Then again, in the north downstairs bedroom, I often slept with the window open.  But that was before I found that a fan worked just as well... probably better... without making it nearly so cold.  It made waking easier.  I'm not sure why it was so cold tonight.  Usually, the fan makes it warmer, driving it as high as 61.  Oh well.

Same plans as before.  Nothing extra has been done.  If I could just shake exhaustion off my shoulders, wake, and do.  I'd do what I could.  Time and health have me by the balls, and winter is piling on.  Nothing unusual.  And, for as much as it pains me to be awake, being awake is mostly an improvement.  While I am awake, and aware enough, to suffer... I would rather suffer my life through, than sleep it off.  It's just how I would prefer.  Haven't always had the choice.

Well... about time to do my morning routines.  The cats have had a snack.  I will set the alarm for two hours, then... try something new.  Good morning and day.

Some days, checking on the critters is extra good.

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It is a pleasant day, for winter.  At about 28, it actually feels pretty good.  The sun was out, and made it warmer... or at least it seemed warmer.  I have checked on the furry and fowl twice now, as much to see the sun and to make sure all was well.  Feed is good.  Only the mini ladies needed more water.  All are good with food, if some are out.  

The ducks are having a meeting, and seem to enjoy being under the rabbits.  I'm always suspicious about things falling down.  But the ducks don't seem to mind, either knowing where to not be, or not caring?    So be it.  Their water is easily staying open, though I will drain it tonight.  It's been two days.  Refilling it in the morning.  All is well.

Oh, the mini girls went through their hay like it was cotton candy, yesterday.  And I think again today.  I just kept filling it.  This last batch has not been touched.  The mini bucks went through one batch over two days.  I refilled it, as well, but they haven't touched this second batch.  I added fodder in, lightly, to the rest of the cages.  They have eaten between half and three quarters of what was given.  I'd like to get the mangers on for them, but I'm just not doing well.

I'll pull the water when the ducks go in, and try to get to bed about that time as well.  I'll like to get them in around 18:00~18:30.  Might have to steer them in.  They might not go.  Will see.  So tired.  Doing well otherwise.  Gaming, mostly, today.  It's all good.  Hmm... maybe a phone call?  Later. 

Good morning!

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Just... a good morning.  For no good or bad reason.  I didn't get to bed until midnight, woke at 08:00 or very close one way or the... well... must have been an half hour after... looking at the clock.  Still, all good.  Got stuck waiting on the ducks to go in, had to herd to groups in, even then.  Then, being 21:00, I missed my window of bedtime, didn't see the problem, and almost killed my day schedule.  We will see.  I think I am going to be a bit more forceful with the ducks.  There are limits, but there... are limits both ways.  Be of good respair, I tell you.

I turned up the heat, first thing.  I have the alarm set for an hour, to begin with chores.  Wearing gloves and my slip-on winter boots makes tending the critters a bit easier even when it is very cold.  I save any wetwork for a final project.  As that just gets me, no matter what.  And the gloves can't be worn, and wouldn't help much, in the water.

I almost have a pattern...  Start the water in the duck pond, if that is happening.  Then feed and water the rabbits.  Then let the ducks out, and grab their pans.  I keep those in with them, as it could rain or snow overnight, and things tend to munch on their food if left out... a roaming cow, deer, and mice, are known thiefs.  Though other birds may munch?  Inside, the only thing that might get food is mice.  But if the muscovys find them, they will eat them.  If even the indian runners will kill them if they happen to notice.  Then, alive or dead, the muscovys would eat them.  I like muscovys.  Like both types, actually.

I've already snacked the girls... right in the face, I tell them.  They still seem hungry!  Or is Sam just wanting attention?  I didn't let them sleep with me last night.  I needed sleep, not face tickles, head butts, and body walks.  So, maybe it is just attention.  Sam is... nearing her end, soaking up as much of my time, love, and patience as she can gather.  I get that.  But, sometimes...  "Don't... touch me!"  Man, sometimes I just need some space.

Well, on to espying the web.  Good morning, day, and Sunday.  If you are going to church, say a little prayer for me.  Just to let God know He is always on my mind.  Literally.  Not like He doesn't know, just... He likes hearing it from second-hand sources.  It would be a favor to both of us, in His eyes, I do believe.  Have a great day.  Stay warm, dry, and fed... as possible.