Up, later.

.

.

My day is slipping.  I could not sleep until after midnight.  I couldn't wake until just here, now, around 09:00.  I simply, as little as I did, overdid... for the weather, season, sunlight, and all.  All good, I wouldn't have changed that.  Still, will fight to regain days as I recoup.  I want days!

Such beautiful dreams.  I have known, and been with biblically, some very pretty, sexy, and sometimes both, women.  I have sampled of the dreams of men.  I was moving to fast, in certain worlds, to be caught... at least after the first escaped through death.  She had me.  After her, I... wouldn't take it personal.

Still, moments.  Dreams of some of the splendor I have known.  It wasn't even sexual, it was just... soft moments, when I forgot the pasts and just enjoyed some time with a damn fine looking dame or dozen.  Just... moments, fragments of time in which I could love the one I was with.  And did.  I wish I could trade that all for having lived a life with just one woman.  Still, it is what I had.  And what I had, at times, was as grand as a man could hope.  

Some men have to pay gold, and more, for that.  I just enjoyed and then, sadly, went on my way.  I still wonder how many children out there are mine.  Three without, to me, a doubt.  Three others I am pretty sure about, but only found out by happenstance.  But... how many others?  If a woman has sex with a man because something about him drew her to him, she'll... keep the kid.  For pay or settling, only maybe.

Anyway.  A terribly good dream... or set of dreams.  Sometimes I'm not sure which.  Only that it was wonderful.  For all my sins, yet was I granted some love.

Today?  Same list as before.  Chores, food for all, water for the ingrates.  Litter.  Plus, I really want to get a shower, perhaps another shave, dishes started, and laundry back in the queue.  I think I can, lightly, hit those.  As sell, with room open in this front room, I'd like to begin bringing boxes down for the dumpster.  Stacking them neatly near the door.  And, at any time, begin sorting other boxes to go.

Whatever I can get done.  Hopefully more than less.  We will see.  Having the space to put discard boxes motivates.  How is it they say, success beckons or breeds success?  Right.  Now to clear then clean the mansion.  Oh yes.

Ah, and blood sugar is finally improving.  It is 109 fasting, this morning.  If tapping it with a mallet doesn't work, get a sledge hammer.  If that doesn't work, get a bigger hammer.  Now, I didn't have to go to even the sledge, I just had to remember to tap it.  Yes, taking slow acting, at night, regularly, will do.

Breakfast!  I already fed the girls.  Eggs and bacon.  The last of the former, plenty left of the latter.  All good, more coming this next week?  Well and rightly fed chickens produce the most fantastic of eggs.  I had found decent storeboughts, local pasture raised.  But... there is something about industrial eggs, no matter.  Soy?  Smaller lots?  Overused smaller lots?  They may roam, but do they really find any 'wild feed'?  These home chickens have plenty of yard, and do eat a goodly portion of wild.  Less so in winter, but... it's in there from the other seasons.  Changes the animal.

Best get to breakfast, and warming.  Seems chilly today, and overcast again.  I am hoping the sun will come out again, in the afternoon.  I love when it does that.  Later.

Not getting to it.

.

.

Chores, the girls fed, I think their litter too.  I'll check that again, after this.  Just not moving fast.  Or well.

I did call my mother.  She was out, they had gone to a baby shower.  All good.  What she ordered for Christmas finally arrived.  I had heard she had sent it, but... then, thought, maybe she forgot, or got confused?  Didn't want to bother her.  Still, wanted to let her know it was in, when it did arrive.

She said one of my nieces is down with covid, a mild case.  And, my brother mil is in the hospital, though for cancer.  The pain is beyond what they can treat at home.  Not... a good sign.  All one can do is pray, for these things.  There is a point where nothing, medically or otherwise, can be done.  Still, there is always hope.  Maybe something will turn around, or perhaps get better.  Prayers.

Still, I am hoping to get a shower in before too long.  Then get dishes started, and laundry going again.  Or not.  If I can, I will.  I also hope to change the rabbits' waterers again tonight.  It is about 24 out there, F.  The sun came out, for a bit, while I was out doing chores the first time.  It actually warmed the old bones in a way only the sun can.  I said a little spoken prayer of gratitude, to God, for those moments.

Ah, I should get the oven going, ready for chicken.  I am thinking that would be a really good last meal.  Later.

Up, a bit late.

.

.

Then again, I couldn't crawl in to sleep until midnight.  As perhaps mentioned, when I get too tired, I simply can't sleep until I unwind, relax, and can then begin to shut down.  Why that is I can't say.  Well, and I kept hoping I could do a thing or two more.  I... often get stuck in the "trying" loop, as well.  Those two things murder sleep.

I woke shortly before five, but couldn't market that into wakefulness.  It was right at 07:30 when I noticed what I thought was light outside?  Still thinking it was nearly five, I opened up.  Not... daylight?  And yet, daylight.  So overcast I can't tell, but that overcast condition takes whatever the sun was giving and spread it across the valley.  A... well as nice a wakeup as I could hope for on such a day.

I looked at the laundry that was up there.  I just couldn't dig in deeply.  I did a few things, organized a bit.  But, really, I... am not quite up to working yet.  I am hoping to do more today.  But that is difficult to know... I may have burned out yesterday.  I really don't have much to give.  When I give it, it doesn't, not always, simply refill, or overnight always.  Even so, I am hoping to get a shower in an hour or two, then set up some dishes.  And go see what can be done about laundry.  As well, chores, shortly, tending cat litter, and feeding the girls.  I tried the hydrant yesterday, to no good.  So had to refill their water with tap.  It's what I'll have to do with rabbit waterers as well, shortly.  Running out.  Still, all good for short term watering.

Of course, I'll have to spend time waking.  Get something to drink, or maybe eat.  Fasting blood sugar is 143.  Bad food yesterday.  Still, better than... could be.  Working, being in the cold, stress, all can drive that hunger monstrously.  There is no escape being human, or human-like, living in flesh that has it's costs.

Today?  Probably chia?  Or should I have bacon and eggs again?  Oh, I think I'll go with bacon and eggs.  Fatted coffee with that, but only a tablespoon, or two... so about 100 calories for that.  Along with protein powder.  I will have eaten all the eggs, or almost?  There may be six left, I only fry four at a time.  Hey, if I were fit I would weigh between 220 and 240, so... yeah.  I actually do need four eggs.

Later, I will bake chicken.  If the veggies are any good, I will steam some of those.  Chicken thighs, skin on.  I just did the meal planning for today.  I had to cut here, take on piece of bacon out, add protein.  I start with a plan, then... pare it down until it fits, or add this or that.  It's like a jigsaw puzzle.  Definitely can't have everything I want, though some days I have to figure out how to shovel it in.

Oh, but one thing?  Now I am not cutting myself short.  If I only use two tablespoons of cream, I don't label it as four.  Or one and label it as four.  And I am cutting fats so I can have more food food.  I want more chicken than fatted drinks, or such.  Still need some, it's the best way to get protein powder in.  Ugh.  But... I'm... learning.  I don't think food can be about perfection.  It's about learning and figuring and being successful to some degree.  And, regardless what they say, food isn't science, at least when combined with the body.

 My metabolism is so weak that even eating, mostly, 1,500 calories a day, I am not losing any weight quite yet.  Crazy, but true... so far.  Sure, there have been spills, like yesterday.  But I am far closer to averaging 1,500 calories than not.  And it just isn't budging the scale... or didn't last time I looked.  I'll check again at the end of the week.  And... maybe... might start weight daily, or nearly.  Just... to see some things.

Well, on to waking and my day.  I'll try to get to some things.  Good morning and all the other jazz.  Be well.

Nothing more.

.

.

Well, yet.  I will be getting laundry to take upstairs for sorting and storing.  Whatever I can fit in a basket.  I did have a relaxing evening.  Just... gaming.  Well, and loving the girls.  They wanted attention, and food, and got both.

Rather tired, but in the good way.

I didn't eat right today.  I dosed when I got home.  And... blood sugar is 98.  Okay.

Still hungry, but... I just don't think I can put anything reasonable together before bed.  Hmm... sardines and one of those crackers might do.  I still have to take slow acting insulin as well.  Probably medicine, pill type, too.

I am hoping to get a few things tomorrow.  Another shower, then set up dishes.  And see about laundry.  When laundry is done, dishes are going, and I'm in shape for work again, I'd like to start bringing boxes down... full, ready to be tossed.  As well, I need to sort a few full boxes I moved to the back porch.  Perrier, good stuffs, that sort.

But, now, it's bedtime.  Good day, evening, and goodnight.

A rather good one.

.

.

Chores, before too much.  Then, sorting boxes and moving those with stuff in them.  Then tearing through boxes.  Plus, getting a load to recycling.  Yes, a very good start.  Now this, the front, computer, room is much more open.  Not... perfectly.  There are boxes of packing.  But those, as with the boxes I'll bring down from upstairs, will be going into the dumpster.  Plenty of room for more boxes, though.

Of course, I also need to go through boxes of water and else.  Temporality moved to a back room  staging area.  Mostly.  A few boxes couldn't even go back there.

What a gig.  Still, a very good start.  And, all done earlier.  Breakfast, too, this morning.  As for this afternoon?  Maybe another shower,  Resetting waterers.  If I get a shower in, then starting dishes?  I can dream.  I am still in pretty good shape, after the morning work.  But... I may be drifting purely on adrenalin.  Oh, and baking chicken for supper.  It should be cold dry enough, and was brined, and was fresh, really.  So... should be good.  Thighs.  All good.

Of course, I need a bit of a break before anything else or extra.  Some blogging, some gaming, a fatted coffee, and general sit time.  I'll set the alarm for two hours, to try to begin... something... in a short bit.  More clothes ready, to be taken upstairs when I go that way... tonight, maybe before.  Yes, this week might end up being very good.  As well, I finally got mortgage paid.  I... overdid.  But... there is a way, was a way.  Anything else that might come do will just have to hang, for a short bit.  Ugh.

Very happy just to have some room.  Was getting a bit crowded just getting to the door.  Yes, I know.  Admitting you have a problem is the first step in solving the problem.  I know, I do.  Just not sure what to do next.  A savings will help, money into it will help.  Not touching it is vital.  It is not for a future though.  It is for bigger items, such as a dishwasher, refrigerator, electrical work, a new furnace and central air conditioning... things like that, a dip a or two a year, but to keep it topped off and then some.  Just a sip fund, for the home.  Ugh.

Anyway... on to my break.  Good day, and later.

At it before I was even officially at it!

.

.

Laundry.  The stuff I took upstairs... mostly done.  Underwear, socks, and shirts, were sorted.  Underwear folded, socks mated, unpaired set aside for now.  I may end up washing those shirts again.  They still smell fresh, but boy are they wrinkled!  As well, I began looking for anything that was old, stretched, had strings coming off them, and put those in the rag pile.  As well, as I cleared a laundry basket, I looked around for any last dirty laundry and brought that down.

And, for the first time in a long time, I dressed before going downstairs... as if I was a normal human.  Not a bad start to a new day.  More to come, if I may not have time to blog it, until much later?  Oh, but I best find some shoes, and be totally ready.  I think this is a start.

I thought I heard the blow go by earlier.  Could it be.  Looking outside, it seems so.  Snow.  Not... a ton, but enough.  As well, the neighbor brought the trailer, so as to stack what we will be breaking down, or otherwise putting out.  I have twenty boxes, full of discard upstairs, ready to go.  And, with all the boxes to be broken down, it might still take two loads?  If we do one of recyclables, we won't have to pay for that.

The dumpster isn't to be here until the first, or so.  Which is perfect.  With this front room about to be emptied, I have a place to begin storing boxes full of things to go.  I will need help getting some things out.  A few old recliners, couches, though who knows.  At least one of the couches may go out today?  Should I keep one though?  I... don't know.  I'll have to think on that.  For now, having one would be good, until I can get a few chairs for in there.  Setting, not steel folding.  Though, which should be kept?  The long or the loveseat one?  Ugh.

Anyway.  With it having snowed, I would like get my shoes on and get out and plow.  Then do just a bit of shoveling, on the sidewalk.  I only have about ten feet of sidewalk to shovel, and it's only a few inches to chew through.  Should be okay.  But... coffee before?  Yes, I need some warmth.  Freezing this morning.  Working upstairs is cold business.  Great for sleeping, rough to work in.

I best get to coffee then snow... shoes first.  ;p  Oh, fasting blood sugar was 159?  I took more insulin last night, AND slow acting.  I have been eating right and dosing reasonably.  Yea, blood sugar is just being a bugger as I near settling it again.  All good, I'll keep at it.  Later.

A mostly successful day.

.

.

Three loads of laundry done and through, at least to the dryer.  One load will be going up with me, as I go to bed.  To be sorted and stored.  Finally, as well, I got a shower in, and a shave.  Chores, feeding the girls and tending their litter, and my food were taken care of.  Not logged, I'm just... not doing that well.  It was keto, and reasonable.  I was just too tired from else to bother.

More, waterers were refilled.  Not all of them, what I have water for.  The cats' water was refreshed, just using tap water.  No choice, at the moment.  A few other things, here and there, this and that.  It was a busy day.  I even brined chicken, thighs.  Then patted those dry, and again, then bagged them to dry better.  To be baked tomorrow.

My favorite meal today was eggs and ground pork.  No sausage, it all has sugar in it.  It all has... lots of stuff I just don't know well enough to trust.  If you can't put, simply, what things are.  I don't want it.  Plain ground pork, with a bit of salt and pepper, perhaps some hot peppers if I'm of a mood, or blended with italian or italian like spices.  Today, just salt and pepper.  Oh, I was going to have a bit more of that.  I haven't eaten much today.  Too busy with other things.

The shower was my favorite.  Shaving a close second.  Though clean clothes will be nice.  I am working on two shirts, which somehow got stained.  Badly.  I am hoping to bring them out... schmushed soap and another spot remover in, hoping that will lift it, and put it in a cold soak for overnight.  Unfortunately, I didn't see the spots until they were in a warm dryer, and then a hot dryer for a finishing run.  Ugh.  I'm trying.

Tomorrow, perhaps, more work.  Boxes, for sure.  Maybe other things?  I don't know.  Just boxes would be a big job.  Especially if we can clear the whole house again.  I got backed up.  Again.  Bleh.  But, for now, after a small bite and brushing my teeth a final time, on to bed.  I should sleep like a babe.  A... tired baby.  A... tired baby, in the back seat of a car, at night.  *grins*  It's how I did it, or nobody slept!  Can't say she didn't try.

Oh, took a bit of fast acting, with my last fatted coffee.  And?  Blood sugar stayed exactly the same!  138.  *sigh*  I... may try a bit with the sausage.  Bleh.  Goodnight.  Prayers headed in your direction.  Amen.  That... wasn't them, just an... indication.  Sleep well, wake alive, or go to heaven and hold the door!  If you go to the other place, don't let the door hit you in the ask me later.

Laundry is getting done.

.

.

Three loads?  Yes, plus an extra partial load.  Some of the old "clean" smelled a bit... off.  I think Sam sleeps on it, and... she is getting old.  And smells it.  Jee but she is skinny.  After giving her the wormer, I am trying to feed her more.  And she IS eating.  But she just isn't keeping it on.  I... will try other wormers.  But I really don't see anything in or on her poo.

She was at least eight, maybe ten, possibly even older, when I moved in.  I have been here twelve years.  She is old.  She has eaten a lot of poisoned mice.  Not that I poisoned, the neighbors seem to use the stuff a lot.  No... blaming, it's just the reality.  She is just here because she knows I love her.  I think she is living on that almost alone.  It kills me to see her this way, and not be able to do anything.  Time is very short.

Rabbits are looking good.  I didn't breed them, just... haven't been able to get more to things.  It was 28 out there, when I did chores much earlier.  Not a bad day.  Almost trying to thaw.  A few days of thaw would be nice.  Just a break.  But that is very unusual in the winters, here.  Had it several times, strangely.  Though... every year is strange.  There isn't an average year.

I want to get a shower, finally, today.  And get dishes started.  Not many, I may need to move them before long.  I am careful with how many I put in, and how.  Still, I do hope to finish a couple of small loads tonight.  After the shower, and get laundry cycled.  It's... possible.  I have a basket of clothes ready to go up and be sorted.  Underwear, t-shirts and undershirts, and socks.  The rest will go up after I have sorted that load.  Bleh.

Not fast, but... getting to things.  It's been a dark day, or seemed it.  If the sun was out, when I was doing chores, it didn't seem it.  Sometimes, in the winter, even if the sun were out, one can be so winter-weary that it isn't noticed.  Today, for me, was one of those days.  Not a bad thing, mind you.  Just a realization.  The blah days of winter, indeed.

Blood sugar, after three meals, is... without insulin, exactly where it was fasting... plus two... 138.  Though, I may have eaten just an hour ago.  So.  Still, that's, while not perfect, not bad.  I may yet have a can of sardines.  I haven't had any carbs today, so I may have one of those multi-grain crackers.  At about 3 to 4 grams of carbs, I never worry.  Especially with only fiber as carbs otherwise.

Later, or goodnight.

Down a bit later than hoped.

.

.

Didn't get to as much as hoped, certainly not as much as planned.  It was a bit after 22:00 when I went to bed.  Ten, twenty, after, something in there.  I woke a bit before 05:00, but it was 05:30 before I got up, altogether, and down.  Blood sugar is... improving, again, at 136 fasting this morning.  It has been dropping four to ten points, give and take a bit, the last few days.  Then again, despite making plans for my meals, lately, it... hasn't gone to plan.  I... just do my best.  At least I now remember how things go south so fast.

It isn't willpower I lose, it is memory, focus, and some other things.  I... can't... think through to my plans or goals.  I just get lost, as if my mind was being stripped down to that of a hungry child.  Simplicity is required, if simplicity isn't necessarily keto.  It's been rough that way for a bit.  Medicine?  Oh... I may have fallen off.  On insulin, again, though.  Awful.

One thing I did do was get the girls some dewormer last night.  Put it in with their food.  They ate it all, no fuss.  Not sure how often I need to treat, but think it has to be done again in ten days.  Whatever.  When I look at the bottle, I put something in the calendar.  Now that I have the calendar alarm buzzing again.

They... actually seem... better today.  No guarantee, but maybe.  I did look at, not into, their poo.  Didn't see anything, but they bury it in sand and else, and... I'm not really interested in dissecting their poo, looking for worms or worm parts.  I just... I'll see if Sam starts taking on weight.  And she starts tending her fir better.

Next, ear mite treatments.  That's... going to be the tricky one.  Not sure if they even have them.  Will find out?  Ugh, but that is going to be... a tricky gig.  

Well, still, back to it today.  Yesterday was what it was.  Today will be another opportunity.  Later.

Not perfect.

.

.

Not with great speed.  Not with intense purpose.  Plodding, consistent, with breaks fairly often.  And, yet, it goes on.  I keep thinking I'll get a ton of things done, all at once, somehow.  Not so much.  I do get little things here, small things there, and it... accumulates.  Or... de-accumulates.  It took a while for the situations to exist, it will take time to get them to cease being a problem.

Blood sugar is finally doing something expected.  Now, I actually was careful with the dose.  I wanted to do 5 cc's more.  Glad I didn't.  Even with a lighter dose, blood sugar is 88.  Not... a horrible number, just... a bit... close to too low for comfort.  Still, it's time for coffee.  And maybe a kefir.

Oh... if you go the kefir way, be... careful.  It'll move things in strange ways for a bit.  Especially if you eat it daily, in larger amounts, and start quickly.  Just... a fair warning.  The only things that have caused me to have skid marks, without understanding the wherefore, were lithium (which I should never have been on) and kefir.  It stirs and changes things.  And, until your body realizes how sneaky those things are, and tightens the hatch like a duck's hatch in water... you... have skid marks.  *grins*  I'm nothing, if not honest.

Anyway.  I had four eggs and two pieces of bacon for lunch.  Fried eggs.  They really are the best.  I thought about toast, but I've been a bit carby lately.  I need to cut it.  When I say a bit carby, I mean, I have gotten to my limit three times in the last week.  Once well over.  So, not terrible, just more than I prefer.  So... no carbs, other than what is in chia or good vegetables, for a few days.  Love bacon and eggs.  Miss it when I can't get to it.

Brushed my teeth again.  If I have been down for a while, I fear my breath will be bad when I go out.  So, for a few days before heading out, I really brush, and blow my nose extra.  Who knows what might be back in there, too.  Ugh.  If I am offensive, I don't mean to be.  If I have odors, it's because I am against it, and haven't been able to tend things well.  Working on it.

A shower is still up and coming.  Some other things took priority.  All good.  The laundry should be through, I may actually switch that over, get another load ready for when I finish the shower, then shower.  Then I know something was done.  Plus, then I can get the laundry going right after, then set up dishes after that has run.  Just a couple of dishpans full.  Nothing huge.  Two double dish pans, through the day, is hoped.  But, who knows.

Well, I best get going.  Coffee first.  Laundry first first, then coffee, then a shower.  Ugh.  Or something like that.  Later.

Already at it, a bit.

.

.

The cats and myself have been fed.  Laundry, clean, was sorted.  Will be taken up in batches and to a degree by type.  Shirts and pants/pj's, unders and socks, towels can be put away downstairs.  Several long sleeve shirts missing.  Will look around, but that is pretty much all my dirty and clean laundry.

As well, I set up a load of laundry to go.  Just regular cotton colors.  After it runs, I'll take the towels out of the dryer, fold those, switch, and put in one more load of laundry... for today.  Just a last load of color cottons.  Which are the majority of my clothes.  I should, in the near future, have enough for another white load, and probably a synthetic load.  I haven't been keeping up on laundry, of course, obviously.  Fell behind on everything.  Medicine, no medicine, weather, season, take your pick.  But, when I can, I do.

After the machine has run, I'll get in for a shower.  Maybe a shave too.  Then take another rest, then hit chores and begin dishes.  Probably with a break in there as well.  Still, I think I can.  Well, I am, doing it, today.  No thinking involved.  How far I will get, as with yesterday, may vary.  Oh, well, and I hit litter, twice this morning already.  I cleaned it first thing, but while feeding them, I noticed the girls have been very busy again.  So, a quick second duty.  It's not their fault, just a price for their company.  One I am willing to pay, when I can.

Bits and pieces, as well, between this and that.  Just about ready for a shower... and shave.  Then chores as soon after as possible.  Oh, it sounds like the trash bin will be arriving soon... or the first of the month?  Something.  That will be the beginning, all over again.

Well... good morning and day.  I'll try to keep at it.  Later.

Not much, almost nothing else, done yesterday.

.

.

Still, there is today.  I haven't given up just because I had difficulty getting going.  That was yesterday.  I set the laundry to a 30 minute finish to drying, as well, brought all the dirty clothes I could find down, to be washed today.  Well, what can be washed.  And I set up a basket to take upstairs, of clothes needing sorted.

I broke down a few trash bag boxes, which... yea, they are still getting in and stealing.  There were bags in all of those, a third of the where full.  All gone.  Still getting in and stealing.  I will add more latch locks to the one back door which is still vulnerable, and do another trick or two.  Of course, all the locks in the world do absolutely no good if you don't latch, set, or otherwise engage them.  It is difficult to remember every single night.  Though, what I am doing has cut down on thievery some.  But they are insistent.

Blood sugar got a bit low, so I had something to eat.  It rose a bit drastically, considering what I ate.  So I had to dose again, as it was up to 152.  A small dose of fast acting insulin, with some kefir, plus slow acting insulin.  And, this morning, 148 fasting blood sugar?  Stupid thing.  Until it submits, it's like trying to get a wild animal into a barn.  Once it is in, it's... mostly... good.  Until then, especially right at the gate, it's terribly out of control.  Can't tell what it will do.

To bed a bit late.  All good.  I think I slept right at eight hours.  And I slept well, other than peeing often.  For as often as I went, I didn't fill the jug even a quarter full.  Ugh... hate that.  I did finish the steak yesterday.  Quite a good meal.  Not as good as ribeye, but not bad.  A bit much fat, but all the protein I could dream of.  

Planning the meal for the day is getting easier.  Keeping meats thawed is the biggest trick.  Bacon and eggs for lunch, but fewer all around.  Have it more often.  But all the planning in the world is great, until I can't eat that much, or don't like it.  Or, on some day, just... can't cook.  The other difficulty is getting enough protein.  No matter how much I stuff into the meal, natural and produced, it is still a struggle to even hit 113... the technical low bar.  My real goal is 150 to 200, and as close to, or over, 200 as possible.

I think, today, it is 153, so far.  Perhaps another chicken thigh, if I can handle it.  Yes, I've planned it in.  But actually eating it is another thing.  That porterhouse took care of protein!  At 132, at least... Still?  That only got me most of the way.  I still had to sort out other.  And, so full from that, eating other meats was out of the question.  Mostly powder and egg whites carried me over.  I am going to have to add a lot more egg whites to my storage though.  If, mostly, I will depend on protein powder.  

I would like enough for a cup of egg whites a day, so about ten containers?  That... might be price... hmm... that would be about $50 to $60 a month, and is replacing other things in my diet.  So... yea, maybe.  Powders, so far, are about $60 for the month, at two doses a day.  Though some I am looking at are a bit more expensive, or similar.  None are less expensive.

Still, for a third of my "food" bill, for eating right, and basing my nutrition on protein?  I... think that might be reasonable.  Most people honestly don't eat right.  I certainly haven't been.  Still miss a lot.  It's a long slog, and I can't seem to die, so I'd like to try to get things sorted a bit.  And, maybe, figure out how to begin swimming again.  With the right food program, I could see that being much more useful this time around.  Gosh, but figuring out the world is quite a thing, doubly so for a triple plus dead guy.

Hmm?  Oh, I best get breakfast started.  I set the alarm for the girls.  Will get the rabbits around sunup... or an hour or two later anyway.  A shower, as soon as I wake a bit.  Then dishes in, and another load of laundry set to go.  I am sure I will get to it today.  Almost sure.  Mostly sure.  Later.

Not the fastest kid on the block.

.

.

Breakfast and lunch down.  Blood sugar was 159 fasting.  I meant to take insulin with one of the meals, but forgot.  Probably a good thing.  Blood sugar, just an hour after my last meal, is down to 118 all by itself.  Yes, I guess that is serious low carb.  As I approach better numbers, it always gets a bit peculiar.  There isn't a better term for it.

I combined the fatted coffee and chia breakfast, along with protein powder.  That... cut fats by a lot.  Not a bad little meal, though next time I won't add quite so much coffee.  I am used to filling the jar three quarters of the way up, not a third, withal else.  Still, a nice way to get it all and cut fats.  I cut cream by a third, or more.  Very, very nice.

The porterhouse was for lunch.  Well, half of it.  Oh my but these are big steaks.  There are only four cuts of beef I eat, and one isn't actually a cut.  Ribeye is my prime choice, chuck roast is next, then porterhouse/t-bone, as actual cuts.  Sometimes sirloin can be okay, but not really on my list, as often it is far too lean and chewy.  The last choice, of course, is burger.  I never thought I would consider 93% lean as a real choice, but... yea, it actually works out just fine.  Then I can have more CREAM on stuff!  Yeah!

The rabbits were finally fed and watered.  Still, it's not noon, so...  It's good.  And I have my alarm set for rewatering at 16:00.  It was 8 most of the night, then, again, dropped to 6 F right at dawn, and now has come up to 23 as best as I can read it.  Warm enough that, when the sun strikes, say, a tin roof on one of the outbuildings, the snow melts... what is left.

As well, I believe I am going to begin figuring out how to get the rabbits to breed.  I'll bring one of the does in to a secondary pen I have open.  Actually, put her in with the buck.  Maker sure they do their thing.  Then give them an hour, before separating them.  Then, put her into that side cage.  And, tonight, let them have another go at it... for an hour... before taking her back to her usual pen.  Then... marking the date in my calendar... setting it for thirty days... and begin checking for tufts of fur... having nesting boxes ready to go... see if we can get her going.  Then, tomorrow, set up another buck and another doe.  Actually, I can get them both going today.  That should make tracking easier.

Any others are going to be difficult.  I need more cages.  Maybe get the does into the bigger, closer, cages?  Ugh.  It's all possible.  It will just mean some juggling of cages, logistic problems and solutions, temporary housing (in the very short term), and such.  Which is part of why it hasn't been done yet.  But, today, maybe.

I got the laundry turned, and in the dryer.  I should get more together, to feed the washing machine.  As well, I need to get a shower, then begin setting up dishes.  Too much?  Maybe.  If I get in too deep, I'll just work my way out, as I always do.  If I can go from a dead stop to a sprint, for a few days, great.  Odd how sometimes I can work really well, hard, actually put in some effort.  When most of the time I can't even think my way through to more then going pee when I should... and that isn't a guarantee.  I've sat there and shaken my leg for hours, because I just... couldn't... remember... or realize... I needed to go.  My body knew, I didn't.  Ugh.

I will have the rest of the steak for dinner.  Pretty darned good.  I'd like to have some veggies, too.  Steamed broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots, with butter, salt, and pepper.  Hmm, and maybe kefir.  Yes, very very good.  Actually, I may have a small glass of kefir now, to get the first and biggest part of the steak going.  It's... some of it... most of it?  Is just sitting there.  Kefir... helps.  Later.

Awake late.

.

.

No good reason.  I was in bed at 19:24 and asleep by 19:24:30.  I went out like a light bulb.  I did wake, had to pee all night it seemed.  Though that is usual, not abnormal, for me, regardless of my wishes.  I didn't even wake, so that I would check the time, until around 04:00.  Then, it was half passed before I could sort my way out of bed.

If I felt better, more rested, I wouldn't even mind.  As is, for the first time in a long time, I am waking with a headache which is persisting beyond getting out of bed and dressed.  Not a terrible headache, just an annoying little one.  I wouldn't even mention it, save that it is the first one in... months?  Definitely weeks, if more probably into months.

Still?  I got to things right away.  The girls were fed, being this late.  Earlier than they would often get fed, but...  Well, and Sam was really begging.  Some days I yield to that.  Then, I trimmed my whiskers with the electric trimmer.  In prep, it is hoped, for an actual shave after a shower.

While prepping for the shave, I decided to empty the waste bucket in in there, and get the towels into the wash.  That bucket, for as small as it is, sure held a lot of material!  It filled a smaller bag, one I use for kitchen sized bins.  While a lot of it was fluff, it really refused to compress.  Still, done.  And, decided to take it right out on, and so grabbed the barrels from the curb while I was at it, and stowed them in their places.

I get the towels going in the wash.  And decided to tinker with  the kefir.  Bad move.  I don't have anymore milk.  Still, I have one draining.  I worked about half of it through the fine sieve.  The rest is just resting while I consider what else to do.  And, for the first in a while, I then brushed my teeth.  I know, but shut up.  I haven't been doing well, very able, or else, lately.

Still, heck of a start for the morning.  And, that's just a start.  After I actually finish waking, the goal is a shower, shave, and setting up dishes.  Hitting those to completion, and getting another load in and through.  Plus, another load of laundry, plus some of that upstairs to be sorted.  This week is planned to be an industrious week.  Boxes broken down, things sorted... mostly looking for things to throw out.  The kitchen and bathroom cleaned.  My bedroom upstairs sorted.  Perhaps blankets and sheets given a wash.  Vacuuming up there.  Well... that is the plan.  I best take some painkillers.  The headache is worsening, but I don't want to let it get in the way.

Breakfast?  How about a steak?  These were bigger than anticipated.  I'm thinking... this steak will be both breakfast and supper.  Perhaps with a few eggs on the side, for breakfast.  As well as a fatted coffee.  No, my fatted coffees are no longer 500 calories, they are, at most, 205, if often half to a quarter that.  I love the heavier ones, but that cuts into my real food, so a tablespoon will do most of the time.  Still, I write it as 205 calories, just to weight the thing in my favor.  If, once or twice a week, I double it.  But I am honest in my logging, too.  I only cheat one way, in favor of weight loss.  As if that were helping.  But I am definitely losing size.  Down to 36/38 on my pj's.  The 40s were falling off, couldn't rope em' tight enough to stay up.  Ugh.

Well... so be it.  After or as I am waking, I better get the grill going.  Later.

Second chores.

.

.

The rabbits were quite happy to see me.  Their waterers hadn't hard frozen, but most of them were no longer able to pass water through.  Not only that, but the sun peaked out.  I was so bleary-eyed, getting tired, that I am not even sure if it was fully out, or just much brighter through whatever.  But it was wonderful, whichever.

Bacon, too.  Just a few pieces.  Life is good, but bacon can improve even that.  Well, and throw in some sunshine, and I had a good day.

I didn't get to everything I wanted finished or even started.  But I did what I could.  Sleep will hit like a hammer.  I will let it.  I might even leave the door open.  Oddly, though, the girls don't come up much anymore.  I think it is simply too cool, even with the door open?  I'm not sure.  Though Sam is getting pretty old, and Sassy is... pretty heavy.

I'll get a shower first thing, then start the day up.  Oh, the alarm on the phone didn't work.  Had to sort it out.  Seems the 'do not disturb' included alarms and calendar events.  I changed that.  Will see if it works tomorrow.  It won't be, sundown, getting any earlier at this point.  So I set up an alarm for 16:00 daily.  Not only will that let me to get out while there is still some day, perhaps even sunlight, it will let me know it is time to begin shutting down for the night.  Chores, any last things maybe, turning the furnace down, then hitting it by 18:00 to maybe 20:00.  I'll try, for as long as it will work.  Goodnight.

Kefir.

.

.

For me, almost an addiction.  I sure missed the stuff.  Having a bit too much today, one more than planned.  But it is rather light on calories and else.  Some days I just need more food.  Today is one of them.  The thing is, I have to watch my kefir intake, simply because kefir output has limits.  I can only make just so much, just so fast, without going industrial.  I just can't scale much.

The girls have been hungry as bears, themselves.  And, yes, they get extra too.

I am not sure I'll get a shower in.  Though that is the hope.  I have given up on bacon and eggs, for today.  But that sounds so good again, I'll have that for breakfast.  Not just two eggs, as was the plan since they were to be extra today.  Four, maybe five, fried in bacon fat.  As fat as bacon starts out, I'm not sure it's anything nearly as fatty as they suggest when it is finally crisped.  It just can't be.  I put in the cut halves of three pieces, pull out carboard like brittle bits, and leave a pool of lard.  It's got some fat still too it, but nowhere near what they say.  I think they just tried to frighten people away from a healthy food.

I may have a few pieces of bacon, though.  It's... been a while.  And, the kefir doesn't quite make up for what all I was going to have.  It's just I don't want to cook eggs, too, tonight.  And, since I haven't finished all the work, I don't get all the treats.  But... bacon!  Maybe.

Well, on to... getting ready for bed, most likely.  I may bring the bins in.  Do some bacon.  Tinkering with the game a bit more.  Turn the furnace down.  And maybe, just maybe, get a shower.  Oh, and tonight I will definitely get slow acting insulin down.  Ugh... I keep missing, this medicine, or that, or this time, or... it's been rough.  Later, or goodnight, and day, and afternoon.  Possibly good morning to you foreigners.  

Chores, cats, and myself.

.

.

Doing the chores was brutal.  It just felt cold as the devil out there.  Odd thing, it is up to 14 F.  It had been 8 most of the night, then dropped to 6 a bit before "dawn" which had me worried this time.  With it being overcast, I wondered that a drop was indicating further drops, not just the coldest right before dawn thing.  But, nope.  Then again, 8 felt warmer than 14 does now, somehow.  If that 6 was brutal for some reason.

Anyway... the rabbit cages are frosted.  I couldn't see in.  They could see out, but were still a bit why with the frost.  Fed, watered, and some of them petted.  Petting a few of them, once in while, keeps them somewhat used to humans.  They really aren't very human friendly, but some.

I gave the girls some of those chops.  Then fed them again just a bit later.  They seem to hungry.  So, I feed them.  I... understand.  Going through the serious hungers myself.  I'll check their litter in a bit, too.  I really want to keep back up on that.  Litter gets much more expensive if it isn't maintained.  It's almost time to order, or get, more.  I went to order, but what I ordered last time had jumped to twice the price.  No.  It was already at a premium price.  I wasn't doubling the premium and everything else.  Cat food, too, is jacked.  I have... some... of each.  I can wait a while.  But not a year.  People are going to start dumping their pets, as they did last time.  There is no way people can afford pet food and litter doubling.

I am resting.  Had sardines, skipped the crackers.  I have decided, if I have bacon and eggs again, I want a single slice of toast.  I had a potato earlier, so... still...  Now, I forgot to dose with that, so blood sugar jumped to 159.  I was going to dose with the sardine, but forgot again.  Blood sugar is now 128, so... glad I didn't, actually.  Though I may take a smaller dose with bacon and eggs, if I go ahead with the toast.  To be honest, cold as it is, I need carbs.  There is a time for them.

Anyway... I'll relax, just a bit, then get a shower in.  Then, perhaps, set up some dishes and get some laundry going, plus take some clean laundry upstairs.  Not... all at once.  But... in some order or fashion.  If I get all that going, I'll make bacon and eggs.  Well, and bring the bins back in.  Yea.  Yes.  I want to get through the dishes today, so I can shower, again, tomorrow.  Then do more dishes.

Well... I best get relaxed so I can get to work.  Amen.

Those chops were about perfect.

.

.

At first, being so thin, I didn't think they were bone-in.  They were.  Actually not a bad thing, just a surprise.  I love when the bone and meat right on it crisp up.  Delicious.  So thin, though, that two minutes on each side was all it took.  Now, remember, I want my pork done.  These were perfect, or as perfect as I can grill a meat.

Kefir, as well.  I am... eating a bit more of that than I probably should.  Plus a potato.  Nothing fancy, but it works well.  Sardines, this afternoon.  With crackers.  I think I'll have the lemon sardines, in olive oil.  Wild caught, but most sardines are.  If you can handle them, sardines are some exceptionally nutritious foods.  Just be careful who packages, where they come from, and such.  If it's from China, NorK, or even Japan at this point, I'd steer clear.  It's the radiation near Japan, but it's the governments involved with the others, and even more nations.  

Plus, if you ever learn to like the fish, you will generally not have to worry about anyone stealing those.  Thieves generally have as good of taste as morals.  If it isn't in a soda can, or chip bag, they don't want it.  Then again, they don't seem to be alone in these times.  If... that's... probably at least part of the problem?

Chores?  Right.  Yes.  I'll get on those.  It's not too late.  Might even be able to reset the waterers before it is dark again?  Maybe, but it... gets dark early, and with the fog and overcast, so very fast.  No lingering light in the evening.  It's like a shade got pulled, and that is that.  I just looked it up.  Sunset, tonight, is a bit after 17:30.  I don't know.  I could try... set an alarm for 16:00?  On my phone?  I'll... see if that will work.

After chores, and some rest, I would like to get a shower in.  And, sometime, perhaps check the trash and recycling, see if they went out.  Or... if they at least got the trash.  The thing is, they might still pick it up.  I don't think I have ever seen them pass by later than, say, 13:30?  Though even that isn't a guarantee.  Just, usually, they are done by early afternoon.  Still don't know if it is a recycling day...  A quick check, and... probably.  Unless folk up and down the street also made a mistake.  But, I thought most of them had at least the trash out before I got mine out.  Couldn't see whether they had recycling out already, too, though.  Still, most likely a good hit.

Still waiting on kefir.  And, other than sardines, crackers, and a fatted coffee, I am probably finished with food for the day.  Probably.  I get so hungry!  The cold just... and it's not just me.  Sam and Sassy both get pretty piggy when the weather closes in.  So... the plan is that this is that.  But... I just... can't promise that.  If I have something else, I will try to keep it small.  Say... two eggs, three pieces of bacon (it is, at least, thin), and maybe one of those... no... with crackers along with sardines, no bread, even low carb.  I can only 'afford' one carb thing a day, and then try to make it every other day at most.  Skipping three or four days if I can trick myself to forget.

Yes, on to chores.  A rest.  A shower.  Setting up some dishes.  Checking kefir... keep hoping it will rip a bit.  Then maybe a load of laundry, and some of the washed laundry on upstairs.  I would... like to start sorting and storing laundry more rightly again.  Bit by bit, will try to retake the small gains I have made in my world.  I wish I could find a woman.  Not to do it all, just to... help.  Yes, she would end up doing a lot of it.  And she would be rewarded.  But, too, I might end up doing more, and more the things I like to do, but at her request.  Plus... women... are good to have around for... a... number of reasons.  Innit?  ;p  And they really aren't that difficult to capture.  Give em' a rope, tell them to tie a knot, and... you got it!  Just... saying.  Not difficult at all.  Later.

Finally!

.

.

Trash and recycling out.  Litter changed and the old with it!  Oh... been... wanting this done for a while.  So tired, confused, out of sorts.  But, finally, done!  The girls will be happy, if I keep all else in check.  Food has been good, water has been sorted.  But litter fell behind and stayed terrible for a while.  Done!  It is, and has been, about 8 F out there from the time I woke or nearabouts then, to now.  Not bad, with the heat up, and having done a bit of work with litter then trash and recycle collecting.  Refreshing, after that, given my general medical lethargy of late.

Trash didn't really fall behind, so much as... was left unattended.  There was a bag, in one of the bins.  But the others were without.  Things piled up, rather than getting put in the bin...  No, I won't let that happen again, either.  I will, shortly, bag all of the bins, cans, or whatever you might call them, whatever their size.  Not again.  Or... not soon.

Plus, the trash and recycling was taken to the curb.  I don't know if it is recycling day, but it is out just in case.  No worries, if not.  There is room for two or three more bags.  So... does that mean the recycling bin is half full... or half empty.  AND... whichever it is?  Is... that a good, or bad, thing?  :)  Shut up!  Right.  Right.

The girls have been fed.  I have been fed.  I looked over the kefir.  I want to let it go longer.  I want to see at least one of them break curds and whey.  I want to see more action.  The bottle of kefir was finished, to my mind, double fermenting.  So it did go into the fridge.  The first one, which was only ever half full... or... half empty... is about a quarter full.  But I have been sparing in how much I consume, until I could get the process into fuller swing.  Until I have a third bottle brewing, I'm still going to be slightly easy on the throttle.  

Still, one or two eight ouncers a day has been happy.  I really like that stuff.  Can't wait to get fruit back into the house, freezer really.  Adding egg whites, protein powder, kefir, fruit, and a few drops of sweetener?  Yeah.  If more so in the summer.  Have that for the main meal in the hottest part of the day.  It's good to have back.  I tried the storebought, both as a starter and just to taste.  It sure is creamier, but theirs had so many carbs!  Ugh... couldn't quite tell what all that was coming from, but it wasn't even just the normal carbs in milk.  There was a lot added.  But... through various side means, it wasn't direct, as in sugar or anything else I could directly see.  Terrible for diabetes.  And... that was supposed to be a good brand.

I initially thought they had simply labeled that many carbs because that is how much was in it initially.  Nope.  It is how much, minimally, was in the final product.  It suggested, say, 30 grams of carbs per cup?  half a cup?  But it spiked my blood sugar well over a hundred points.  Nothing else I ate that day would do it.  Some of what I eat, while it will raise blood sugar short term, it lowers it in the end.

Speaking of which.... blood sugar was 172 fasting.  So... I took my slow acting... which had been forgotten last night.  Then, had breakfast and a fatted coffee.  Blood sugar dropped to 69?  That... doesn't even make sense.  And, no, I definitely forgot slow acting last night.  I didn't confuse slow with fast.  I didn't take any fast... wanted to see what this would do, if anything.  Does not make sense.  

I'll... just... keep checking, watching.  But... I should eat something to try to bring that up.  I don't feel ill, I just know that is too low.  But... what to eat?  Ah... potato.  Well, and grill some chops.  I have a pack of four, thin, which don't come quite to a pound total.  So... two and a potato.  That... should work.  Sure wish I had sour cream though.  So... hungry.  So... very hungry.  Terribly hungry.  Don't think it is physical, just in the mind.  The cold, I think, plays tricks on my mind.

Well... food.  Then chores.  Laundry?  Dishes?  Cleaning in the kitchen?  Boxes?  If I can stand, and push, a bit of all of it?  If you would kindly say even a small prayer for my ability to work?  I'll gladly, if as usual, give all glory for even these little things to God.  As... that is where it all belongs.  Trade?  Oh, no worries, I'll pray too.  Not... just for this, but in part.  I like speaking to God at various times in the day, troubled or not, for your benefit or mine, in gratitude, thanksgiving, or just to say hello.  Even to pass on good news.  Sure, He knows.  But He loves to share in the lives of the little ones.  He truly does.

On to it... I think I'll grill those chops.  Yes.  Later.

A bit past one.

.

.

Up right at 01:00, which is a good thing.  I wanted to slow the push through to days down a bit.  Do a controlled approach, rather than crashing on through for another spin.  This might work.  I keep missing medicine, though.  Still, I'll... keep trying.  I missed slow acting insulin last night, but this time I knew it.  However, upstairs, in bed, when it hit me, there was literally nothing I could do.

Oh, I did try to get out of bed.  I couldn't even sit up.  I tried until I woke much later and realized I had failed.  What a gig.  No, I didn't even try later on.  The realization of missing meds and not being able to get up just passed over me, as I laid there nearly completely crippled, then passed and allowed me to sleep again.

It's deep winter, and feels it.  It is dark, there is an edge to the cold, fog and overcast the last two days, deeply.  Frosting the world thickly, enough to pseudo snow from what was left frozen to everything.  Beautiful, terrible, though not dangerous... unless one was stuck in it, without the right clothing.  In the mid teens, from what I remember reading yesterday.  But, there is something oppressive about the weather these last days.  Ominous, dangerous, mysterious, disincentivizing.

Today?  First thing, trash and recycling.  Ugh, but that just hasn't been done.  I want it done, and out, and maybe to the curb.  It hasn't been a rough few days, it's been a rough week.  Getting to anything has been almost too much.  I did get kefir going.  That shouldn't have been difficult, but it was murder.  A good thing though, it creates a food I can eat, from a food I shouldn't eat.  And... is a good side hobby/hustle.  Plus, it helps keep a dairyman and his good wife in business.

If I can get out, I'll get another gallon of milk though.  And a sour cream.  Their sour cream is to die for.  And, while I love their milk straight, I just can't do it these days.  Perhaps never should have?  Some say milk shouldn't be consumed by cats, or humans.  I don't know, I just know I can't do it now.  But as kefir?  Or yogurt if I could go that way?  I think so.  I still get a cup a week, or two.  And try to remember to offer Sam some.  She really loves that stuff, she's a daddy's girl that way for sure.

Trash, recycling, litter, and a shower.  Oh, sure, I have been showering a bit lately, but gotta keep up.  Love showers, anyway.  Kings of old only dreamed of such.  The best they had was washing in their own dirty water, of moderate warmth... or showering in cold waterfalls.  No, we have it good in ways you cannot even imagine.  They didn't even have law.  They were the law, until someone could kill them or beat them in war.  Might made right in the days of kings, and that went from top to bottom... and sometimes right back up again.  Though it looks like it is going back to the old ways.  Though, the boomerang effect (even if boomerangs don't really come back) has a way of... fixing things.  Not always toward the good, but... whatever.

Food?  Not quite yet?  Hmm...  I think I will get in a slow acting, have a chia breakfast with protein additives of at least one sort.  The girls don't get to eat until three hours after I wake, otherwise they raise hell trying to wake me, earlier and earlier.  This was an experiment, with them, that actually worked well.

I have been waking with severe pains, twice these last four or five days.  I keep thinking I will be waking into a horrible day, but it hasn't materialized.  I do, however, really need to get back on track with food, insulin, and medicine.  I am trying, but something is just wrong.  It isn't a matter of a lack of interest, or will, I am failing, a bit.  If you can't stand, you aren't going to run.  If you figure out how to run, somehow, you can't run far, or for long.  I keep doing the impossible, but the impossible has costs.  Those costs make, sometimes, even the possible impossible.  Odd how that works.

Well... on to breakfast and some webbing.  Good morning, night, and day.

Kefir finally well into production.

.

.

I still can't get the grains some people show, or like what I receive.  Perhaps you have to use smaller vessels to both get those to grow as such, and to be able to find them?  Dunno.  But, it does replicate, I just don't have big flowery kefir grains.  And, if I keep the heat between 70 and 78, with a bit of time at each temp, the jars and bottle sours in twenty four hours. or so.  If I often try to give it more time.

I have started putting the finished kefir into the milk jugs, and labeling those to sort of keep better track.  When the drinkable goes back into the fermenting jars, then it is far too easy to lose track of what is where.  While I would prefer all glass, this will do, and just have to do.  

The first bottle was only half full, but had double fermented and was ready to go to the fridge.  I only had two jars fermenting, at that time.  Now I have three, and today I was able to get nearly a full gallon of kefir.  Which is now double fermenting, to be refrigerated tomorrow.  I am doing one more batch, then may actually cut back to two jars fermenting, but put those in the fridge, until I get through one of the gallon bottles... which are what the milk arrived in.

I, tomorrow, will end up with three bottles of kefir.  And, when refilling the jars, for first fermenting, I will put those in the fridge and let them ferment more slowly.  I'll just have to see how fast that all goes.  This is a new process.  And, I will stop using one of the jars, and wash it out.  Simply having enough room in the fridge is a limiting factor, and I have as much kefir as I could use for a goodly while.

So, back in kefir well, though, I will begin consuming it a lot more.  Can't start until tomorrow though.  As the kefir that is in the fridge needs a day to cool, though might try a sip this evening.  And the other one will take a day after that.  Plus, the one I make tomorrow, will have to sit out another day in order to double ferment.  Why double?  It keeps the carbs very low, makes it so I can almost consume this stuff at will, as much as I want.

Given how much juggling I do with kefir, I don't think I am going to bother with yogurt or that other one I had been considering.  Even water kefir is a bit much to add to this.  Now, if I was ever able, and got two refrigerators?  Yea, I might use a small one just for these food projects, and keep the main one for regular foods.  There just isn't room, as is, especially with half gallon and gallon jars in play, multiples, plus milk and cream of other things... then on top of that, meat, cheese, and veggies.  Pushing it.  Still, I love being back in kefir.  It is worth the hassle.

Having a high protein fatted coffee.  An odd thing, I am sure.  But, if I can get two or three thin chops in shortly, and maybe one more protein drink... probably a tea as I don't need any more fat, I might well hit two hundred protein.  Which is my actual goal.  I would rather eat it, but fat is a problem even with meats.  Or taste.  Lean meats... I can't eat enough of them to get my protein from them.  I need the fat.

I am currently using an animal based protein powder.  I may check out a vegetable (pea based) protein powder.  Just to mix it up.  I looked at premixed, but those are terribly expensive for what you get, compared to even this actually decent powder.  But you have to look over them carefully.  Don't just go by gurus, they may well sell you out for a nickel or dime.  Surprising how cheap some whore are.

Though, I may look more locally.  See what I can see, see if prices are better.  But, generally, amazon runs prices and pricing.  If they do anything, they match amazon.  They, if that has changed a bit, from time to time (serious scalping on some things), are still generally the price to beat, or match.  Difficult to get interested in going out looking, when you probably aren't going to beat them... let alone get it delivered.

Anyway...  A good start.  Now to get set up to get to chores.  I kept waiting for the sun to come up.  It did, but it sure doesn't look like it.  Dark, out there.  Foggy, frosty, cold, and sort of a mean winter day.  No wind, but... I don't think it needs it.  It'll kill you if you aren't careful.  Though, not quite sure how cold it really is out there.  Looks ugly cold though.  Later.

Bacon and eggs, nice.

.

.

Two days in a row, but... not bad.  This time scrambled.  Okay, one point, next time I will crack the eggs separately, and more carefully.  I ended up with shell in it, and that is... really off-putting.  Well, and I won't add egg whites, to regular eggs, then scramble.  So absolutely plain.  I even added plenty of hot spice.  But the nothingness of egg white blotted out all my spice and herb and heat.  Bleh.  And I couldn't get close to eating it all.  I probably only was able to eat two thirds of the meal.  All the bacon though!

Yea, egg whites will only be added to drinks.  Not a bad thing.  I was just hoping they could be fried too.  Not so much.

Next?  I'm not sure.  The meats I was thawing simply aren't thawing!  I'll have to pull them from the fridge, in parts, and thaw out a few packs at a time.  At least this way I won't end up with too much thawed meat all at once?  I could have a taco salad.  Down to the last one or two.  Or, maybe, spaghetti but with the ugly noodles (if carb free).  But, first, a fatted coffee with more egg whites and protein powder, to make up for what I failed to be able to eat.  So absolutely white-out boring.  Could not eat it.

Then, to get ready and out for chores.  I just need something warm, down, in, first.  Oh... the funny thing?  When blood sugar was high, and after the pizza?  I had no problem with warmth.  Now that blood sugar is down, I am freezing!  It really is a food thing.  If you want to like summers, and want to know how to tolerate the heat?  Stay away from sugar, starches, breads, and all such things.  Stay with fats and proteins.  Sucks in the winter, but at this time I don't have a choice.

Oh, weird but...  After dosing, mildly considering (25 cc's, but with a 225 blood sugar), and taking slow acting because I missed it last night, blood sugar is now 72.  So... beyond needing to warm, before chores, I really need to pump that up a bit.  I'm not feeling bad, it's not crashing.  But it is a bit low.  Partly why I am freezing.  So... yeah.  So very strange.  Shouldn't have dropped so much though.  Ugh.  Always a bit fritzy as I near better numbers.

Well... I best get going.  Later.

Awake at 03:00.

.

.

Slowly getting back to days.  Trying to slow further progress in that direction.  A 05:00 wakeup, to me, is optimal.  Which would mean, with an eight hour sleep, 21:00 would be the optimal bedtime.  The problem is, some nights I sleep more like ten, or even twelve hours.  So, sometimes, going to be earlier would be better.  A trick I haven't mastered well, yet.  It seems, if I end up extra tired in a day, for whatever reason, I stay awake longer?  Right, I don't understand, but that's how it works.

I am not positive, but I think sleep was pure or pretty close to it last night.  I don't think I woke to pee, or only once, twice?  And, if I did, I really don't remember.  Which is unusual.  Very unusual.  I'll take it.  Would love to sleep clean through ever night if possible.

I've set the alarm for three hours, at which time I will feed the girls.  I hope to do a few things between then and now.  Trash and recycling weren't managed yesterday.  A good thing to do.  Which would also mean clearing cat litter, and starting over.  maybe a shower too.  As well, perhaps setting up waterers, for a morning first light chore duty.  Probably too much for that time, but can get started on a few things.

Oh, but I'll check kefir first thing.  If it's ready, I'll put the second ferment in the fridge, set up another dose of the stuff, then reset the rest for another run.  As is, I have three half-gallon runs going.  That is as much as I can do for now.  May need to get more milk before I can reset a fourth jar, if I do go that way.  I may need three gallons a week, until I get the production going, then just use two gallons for maintenance?  I'm not sure.  Depends on consumption, as well as end production... what I actually get out of what I am making.  There is some losses, due to some of it going to grains.  Though, even those can be eaten, and I am not squeamish about that at all.

The funny thing is, my mother would be rather surprised.  When I was a child, I... didn't like "weird things".  And she was such a farm girl!  She would try to get us to eat "weird things".  Then again, I thought pecan pie was a weird thing, so my limits were... rather solid.  As well, anything really mixed with too many ingredients.  Well, and caramel, because it was gooey and too sweet.  Even goulash, and meatloaf, and many casseroles, made me suspicious... didn't really like it because I didn't understand what was in it.  Then again, I really liked raw milk.  When I was a kid, that was available, but raw milk and such was considered poor people's food.  We were poor, for certain.  And I'll bet I would have liked homemade cottage cheese, even then.  An odd child, I suppose?  Or a typical sort of a certain type?

Well, on to breakfast.   I did a bad thing.  I had a friend bring half a pizza.  I was just... hungry.  So very hungry for pizza.  I failed.  Four pieces, but really half a large pizza.  He got the other half for delivery.  Besides, I owed him a meal... to my mind.  He was happy with all, but I felt... obligated.  So, done and done.  The best guesstimate of calories was about 920.  Which surprised me.  That is only about a double burger.  And only 40 carbs.  All bad carbs, but... seriously?  I would have thought it was 1,500 calories and 80 carbs.  Then again, I didn't have soda with it, so there was that.  You know... while totally not keto?  Half a pizza, stretched over two or three days?

I only write that last because, sometimes, I will go off the trail.  Just looking at a way to do it in which I don't actually completely abandon keto... as was done last night.  Since I had the steak, I was already pushing calories.  Had to have to steak, it was on the verge of going bad, and those are... too precious for me to let go.  The package got hidden behind the bacon.  Ugh.  So I pushed carbs and calories by a lot!  Still... it... happens.  But, yes, even two pieces would only be 20 carbs, and 460 calories.  So, yes, with restraint, I can have pizza.  I just don't want to very often.  Knowing helps schedule a better diet... rather than being a freaky feral sometimes overeater?  I'll still fail, from time to time, but knowing even bad food can be... managed... helps.

Oh, I had blood sugar to 101 before that.  After the steak even.  But, didn't dose with the pizza, and forgot slow acting insulin last night (I think).  Blood sugar is 215 fasting this morning.  Ugh... double ackh!  I'll... keep at it.  Now for breakfast.  I think bacon and eggs again this morning, with fatted protein coffee.  I may scramble eggs today, though.  And, add the egg whites to regular eggs, for the extra extra protein that way.  Yeah, I'll get slow acting in, and a shot of the fast stuff.

By the by, I used a high carbon pan for cooking yesterday.  It... actually worked pretty good.  Now, I used a bit of tallow, to get it lubed, wiped most of that out, then did bacon.  And finally fried eggs in it.  For the first time, that pan actually worked on my glass cooktop.  I have had great difficulties with it before.  And... whoever looked up that blog post, about the vid of that guy who said those don't work on flat cooktops?  Either you got lucky, or you are actually watching in here.  It's happened enough, with this and other things, that I suspect someone sees in here.  Whatevs.  Not worried about it, don't care.  Just... a thought.  Later.

Bacon and eggs.

.

.

Very good.  It's been a long time.  I planned on two pieces of bacon but... couldn't... stop there.  Three.  Oh well.  A bit more fat for the day, than goal, but I can live with that.  Now, a kefir, egg whites, and... I was going to add protein powder to it, but it just doesn't blend well in cold  stuff.  They say it will... perhaps if left overnight?  But just mixing... nah... clumps.  I'll have the powder with a later tea, minus anything else?  Maybe some sweetener.

Kefir and egg whites.  Sounds just awful, but it really isn't too bad.

And, one final taco salad.  I had thought about a keto spaghetti, but I just don't have a pot.  I'll get some of those, and pans, washed today.  Chores, though, and trash plus recycling first.  Yea.  Chores absolutely first, and within the hour.  I forgot to turn the heat up, though.  I'll turn that up, set an alarm for an half hour, then get to chores.  Trash as soon after as possible.  Litter, to go out with trash, and get reset.  Always something, and more.

Oh, and kefir and egg whites while warming the water and myself.  It's an odd food, but really does well.  It is about equal protein and fat, both low though for a cup, at 8 and 9 grams respectively.  But, all the good it does, and not being high carb at 4 grams per serving...  I really do enjoy it.  As well, it helps with general digestion.  And... can make at home without almost any fuss.

Well, better get to warming and eating.  Oh, having forgotten slow acting insulin last night, blood sugar was 177 fasting.  I meant to take slow acting, and some fast acting, insulin with breakfast but totally spaced it.  Bacon, eggs, and a fatted coffee caused a thirty point drop, to 147.  I'll... have some fast and slow acting with lunch.  If I remember.  *shakes head*  Later.

Waterers too.

.

.

I must have lost track?  Well, and we had some warm days in there, when the rabbits could, and did, drink their waterers dry, rather than just getting a bit out before they froze.  All good, I would rather they drink a full lot, for their health and wellbeing.  I do like the furry critters, personally.  Still, that means I had to refill nearly all the waterers.  All good.  Now to  get them warmed before getting them out.  I need to get the furnace up a bit anyway.  I can't do a damn thing if it is too cold.

Before sunup, I am hoping to get trash and recycling rounded up and out.  I started a load of laundry, if because of a nose bleed and a drop on my favorite house jacket.  I'll find out shortly if blood comes out, at all, of the material.  It is synthetic, so there is some hope.  If not, oh well.

Having tea, waiting on breakfast.  I have the alarm set, for the girls.  I'll eat after them.  Breakfast?  I may see about fried eggs, bacon, and a fatted coffee.  It sounds heavy, but works well if I can get it.  Five eggs offer slightly more fat than protein, but are so good in every way.

Actually, while... thinking about it... I planned my whole day of food.  Leaning on egg whites and powder, I was able to keep fats to goal, just... keep carbs far below, and get just over 155 grams of protein in.  I'm not sure how sustainable that is.  I need to figure out other sources of protein.  But, for a starter, it's a good kick start.  Actually, I could have one of those pieces of keto bread, toasted and buttered, in with it.  A protein bread.  It mostly adds carbs, but few enough to still be in good shape.  And calories, but I'm not worried about calories.  Plus, it would make breakfast almost seem normal.  It's been a while.

Well, first, to finish waking up!  It does take a few hours, at least.  And some heat.  So... I'll turn that furnace up, and game for a bit.  Later.

Awake, at about 02:00.

.

.

I think I went to bed at or a bit after 18:00?  Memory sucks, but it was in there close.  I was only up that late because of a low blood sugar.  Well, I got it up.  Then forgot the slow acting dose, and it shows this morning.  I'll take it now, I guess.  As well, I am delaying breakfast, again, finally.  Not quite keeping to intermittent fasting, but tightening up, and making plans.  It'll get there, again, soon.

Milk and cream should be arriving today.  As such, I can get back to shuffling kefir.  I have two I think I will just dump.  I tried to make it from the old stuff in the fridge.  And, to be honest, I just don't quite trust it.  Even if it mostly survived, anyway, I doubt if it has the full spectrum of yeast and else.  No, I'll stick to what I am sure of.

I now have plenty of jars, clean and ready.  And, after I clear these two I doubt, I should be able to cycle through at will... so long as I can keep up on milk.  Especially since I won't be using a fresh jar every switch.  Just changing over when they get too gunky.  Say, every third to fifth cycle?  And, really, I'd like to keep four in the cycle, and have one sort of in a permanent backup mode... giving the whole half gallon only a tablespoon of grains, the rest fresh milk, and keeping that in the fridge, exchanging it every two weeks to month.  Just in case I need backup, or a restart for any reason.

A shower, staring on more dishes... pots and pans actually.  Chores, when the sun comes up... around 08:00 or 09:00 is preferred.  Cats, trash, recycling... got to get that managed.  So much to do.  Hopefully I can get to it.  Oh, and checking the mail.  I need those meds.  Ugh.  So much to do, yet still so shut down.  I'll... give it all a go today.  Later.

Still awake.

.

.

I did get chores done, right after the last post.  Happy to have that done.  While I was out, I lifted the hydrant lever, and just left it open while doing chores.  When I was finishing, it had started to flow.  When I put the bottles up, and came back, it was going full blast.  So I refilled the girls' water, and grabbed another bucket of fresh water.  It doesn't make sense, but... whatever, for now.

After that, I checked blood sugar.  It was 86?  That... doesn't even make sense.  On the good side, I have fewer doubts about kefir.  As I had kefir, protein powder, and egg whites... if with a dose.  But, blood sugar had been 156.  To be honest, I was almost sure kefir was causing a blood sugar spike.  I still need to test, but it seems I may have been wrong on that.  Being that blood sugar was that low, I had to have something else.

I am only awake to now, to check blood sugar again.  In about an half hour, I will check it.  If it is in the 90s, I'll take my nightly slow acting dose and go on to bed.  If it is is below 90, I'll eat something more, then do the rest of that routine.  I may just take a few glucose tabs.  Just, say, two.  Because I don't feel bad, I'm just not trusting lower numbers at bedtime.  This point in blood sugar management can be damned tricky, at least for me.  Sure, tell me not to mess up.  I... just can't keep that promise, especially if forced to push beyond nearly human capacity...  Someone in my condition not only shouldn't stay up nearly three days straight, someone in my condition shouldn't be able to do so, and still drive hundreds of miles.  Something had to give, and it did.  Self-control goes clean out the window.

Still, getting back to it.  Days are nearly back in play.  Eight hour sleeps are back as a general rule.  I started cleaning, if only jars.  Things are slowly being put back to order.  It's as good as I can do.  Plus, for my sacrifice, I am not only out of a monthly debt, I have a bit of a nestegg.  Oh, I should start requesting quotes for electrical repairs... main box replacement.  With the bit in savings, and two hundred of what had been going for the car, put into to that as well each month, by spring I should easily be able to get electric sorted.

Well, anyway... it's time for bed.  Good afternoon, day, and goodnight.

Still awake.

.

.

Need to get to chores.  So tired though.  It has been difficult.  I did get to the jars.  They need to be washed, twice, with soap.  Then bleached.  And, finally, they were clean.  I rinsed them, in very hot water.  They are drying.  Kefir, left to die, or even while alive, is very difficult to get off glass.  Even if you just use a jar once or several times, then clean it.  That stuff sticks to the glass like... mineral deposits.  Perhaps more strongly.  Still, they are ready.  I won't buy milk, since tomorrow is Saturday, and milk should be arriving.

Chores.  Ugh!  I'll get to those right after this.

Blood sugar jumped to 156.  Strange.  Then again, I have lost track of what and when I am eating.  As I began failing to... be fully, mostly, awake... I just started eating.  Bits and parts, this and that.  I've seen it before, I just didn't think I was in that bad of shape.

Even so, I wanted to try something... to add protein.  I used two scoops of the protein powder, a cup of kefir, a cup of egg whites, and some sweetener... being careful how much was added.  The powder added both 20 grams of protein, and a powdered milk taste.  More mild than actual powdered milk, but that same idea.  Just... a taste, not the full bite.  I didn't mind it, especially for what I get out of it.  Those two things added 40 grams of protein to my diet.  Grams I desperately need.  I may end up needing two of those a day, assuming the kefir doesn't exacerbate diabetes.  

I tested before, it was 156.  I'll test again two hours later, or an hour and an half from now.  I did take insulin with it.  I am hoping to get diabetes in the clear, again, soon, so as to test kefir without a dose.  I suppose I could use this concoction as breakfast, some morning.  I could even use this twice, for breakfast and lunch, or as parts of those, so as to see it operate in various conditions, with and without other food, and such.  I don't quite trust it, mostly the kefir.  But, who knows.  Maybe the powder is a problem.  The egg whites aren't, haven't shown any sign of being so.

Well, on to chores.  Then I have to wait to test.  But, then, on to bed.  Good afternoon, day, and perhaps goodnight if I don't get back before bedtime.  On the good side, I am making it back into days.  If I can just hold it once I get here.  I am going to stop pushing from now on.  Just let it slide into home.  It'll drift a bit, on it's own.  The trick is to slow the drift.  Such a tricky thing.

A few starts.

.

.

The jars are all set up, soaking.  The pee jugs too, sorted and drying.  The girls fed.  And myself fed, save one last meal.  I called, and contacted, my mother as well.  I was beginning to worry.  She did try to call back, but my phone was either off or the battery had died.  I... forget about it, sometimes.  Especially when I am out of sorts, as I have been lately.

She isn't feeling well, sleeping in today.  I would guess she is down for some count or other.  They are having something between a snowstorm and a blizzard out their way.  A foot, she says.  If there is any wind, whatever, they will have whiteout conditions quickly.  But, Iowans are used to snow, winter, cold, and all.  Though, as I told her, she couldn't be in a better place to ride it out.

I still haven't gotten to chores, but will, shortly.  Then, perhaps, a shower?  Ah, but I want to eat, first.  That and have a cup of hot tea.  I need to back off coffee for a while.  I've been drinking too much of it.  It's nice, and thick with the cream... even a tablespoon really adds some thick luxury.  But, tea... I... need to hit more tea.

Taco salad, again.  But I am enjoying it.  Tomorrow, perhaps, I'll make keto spaghetti.  Since I know I like the palm heart pasta, I will try to ugly type... the one made from roots either found, or developed first, in Japan.  They aren't, at all, my favorite.  But I am going to try them again, again.  Try to figure out how to make me like them.  These have absolutely no carbs.  Zero.  Nada.  Zilch.  And, for some things, will work better.  And for some times.

I haven't been out, but looking from the back door, I think, think I say, that it was 30 out there.  But sort of foggy, cloudy, not overcast, but yet... sort of?  Perhaps the inversion?  Ugh.  Sort of an ugly day.  But, if 30, not a bad one?  Well... I should get to supper.

Oh, blood sugar is finally managed.  It hit 103, after two meals, and a dose... or two?  It's being... odd.  Eating the same stuff.  Sometimes dropping like a rock, sometimes not dropping for nothing.  Still, I have to be careful.  I am definitely eating low carb... save for fiber in chia.  Less than fifteen carbs most days.  Anyway...  I'll keep at it.  Get it back under control.  Oh, but... pills... I keep missing those.  I thought I was on it, then a few days slip by without me noticing.  And I haven't gotten the new medicine, but it might be in?  Gotta check, soon... so under the bus though!  Ugh.  Later.

Midnight thirty.

.

.

Well, that is when I am here, sitting at the machine.  I went to bed around 14:00, I think.  When I push things, memory becomes difficult.  Ah, I attempted to call my mother slightly before bedtime, that was 13:27.  So, yes, probably right at 14:00, maybe slightly after.  I probably meant to go to bed after calling my mother, but my world, and time, these days... slide.  Time isn't what it seems for me, currently.

A wonderful sleep.  Until I get some things back under control, it seems I am peeing a lot through the night.  I had it down to once or none a night.  Now it is three to four times a night.  It's been worse.  And I am not filling a pee jug every night, though every other night seems normal.  Very annoying.  I had that to filling a jug every three to five days, averaging four.  Cleaning pee jugs is just not a fun chore, especially when they pile up quickly.  Bleh.

Oh, the hydrant.  The handle does open and close, but water doesn't flow.  I'll... tinker with it, on a warmer day.  Then again, yesterday wasn't bad, at 30 out there when I checked, in the morning.  But a bit of a breeze.  Still, not too bad.  I just wasn't in shape to tinker, and had to think about what might be wrong.

I may try to pull the head, and extract the rod and plunge stopper.  But, first, I may check to see if the rod is fully attached to the plunge stopper.  That might be the problem.  As well, readjust the stopper depth.  To do the first suggested would require turning the water off.  These last two can be done without messing with the water shutoff.  I am just hoping I don't have to get a backhoe in and dig down again.  No way to hand dig that deep of a hole, really.  That is what equipment is for.  

How did they do it before machinery?  Sons.  Sons was how most hard work was done.  If pops could, he might as well, but mostly sons.  I have some, but... they aren't available.  And, at my age, it would be handed down to grandsons.  And, being what kids are these days, I doubt they have produced.  And if so, they aren't workers.  They want to sell financing in a climate controlled environment, and eat the world in doing so, rather than make or do anything real... assuming they are at all "successful" in this "modern" America.

Blood sugar is still a little high, at 140 fasting.  I will be watching very carefully, everything, going forward.  I am hoping kefir isn't the problem, but have a sinking feeling.  Even double brewed, the stuff may be simply too high in carbs?  It is suggested a cup is between four and eight carbs.  But that shouldn't be a problem.  That is standard, I double brew so would be on the low end of that.  Though, maybe, I haven't measured well?  In any case, I... will get to the bottom of the problem.  Maybe I was eating too much, recently, in all cases?  I just started logging yesterday, so...  And I have been out of sorts, still am.  So, yea, maybe.

I don't know.  I'll try to get things going.  Waterers refilled, maybe another shower, dishes going... after I get those jars washed out.  Though, technically, those ARE dishes, so.  Still, other dishes.  Pots and pans, to get eggs back into the menu system.  And to just have clean things around for general use.  I need more milk, too, to get kefir going.  Ugh, stuck, on that.  But will go with it, at least one more week, to see how it works out.

Oh, found something for a friend.  Not really my sort of games, but he had been wondering.  Not sure if his machine is coming in soon, or what.  But... this might wet his appetite for the machine and what to do with it.  You are welcome, I hope.  Though you probably look on your own.  Still, popped on my radar, I thought to pass it along.  Oh, but the one... Frostpunk... the second or whatever... that...  I am curious about that because if they are coming out with a second one, then the first must have been at least okay.  And I am curious about the first one already, doubly so now.

A shower.

.

.

Needed.  Wanted.  Finally gotten.  The good thing about being a guy is, if I fall, fail, and drop.  And I can't get to a shower in a while... I can make it.  I'd hate to be female, and fail.  They just aren't built to endure this.  I hate going without a shower for long.  Sometimes I simply have no choice.  Thankfully, these last few years, going without has been limited to days, maybe a week.  Then again, when it was longer, it was because I was sleeping for weeks, even to a month or so.  Pretty much the whole time.  Waking terribly hungry, sometimes I could eat.  But showering, bathing, just didn't happen.

Now to get to chores.  It is already 13:23.  I should have done it earlier, but I couldn't.  Having a heck of a time getting going.  Blood sugar is still, oddly, high.  Nothing I ate should be keeping it up.  And I took 20 cc's.  Just... playing a hunch.  That with a fatted coffee.  I hope kefir isn't a problem.  That was double fermented, too.  Hmm...  Will have to keep an eye on that.

I really want to get to chores, too.  Not just for the rabbits, though there is that.  But to check the hydrant, see if it is running.  Curiosity is killing me.  I'll get to it as soon as I can.  I thought the coffee would help, but no.  I'm crashing, so tired.  But I will get to chores soon.  I must.  Then to bed.

I'll give my mother a call.  See how she is doing.  Have a great day.

Rough.

.

.

A bit achy, from sitting in the same position for too long for days.  Stuck.  Can't get back to things, yet.  Working on it.  Did get the hydrant thawed, at least enough to get water and work on it a bit yesterday.  Did start logging food again, today, and sorted some new foods for it.  I found and installed data sets for kefir, among other things.

Not much else.  I need to get to chores.  I want a shower first.  Ugh.  Need a shower.  I love those things.  Plus, they warm me up for the day, or sleep.  Not sure how much longer I can stay awake though.  A shower might help.  Maybe another fatted coffee?  I have enough calories, and technically fats.  It will take me up to the limit, but... yeah.  Some days...  Then again, I am on less than a 1,500 calorie diet.  Since the 1889, or such calorie diet wasn't working.  Though, too, I have messed up, bigly, lately...  so, yeah.  Start over, start where you can, and then get going again.

On the good side?  Even if weight isn't gone, my pj's, which fit for years, have become far too big!  I wasn't sure if it was just stretching out, somehow, or... something.  So I ordered mediums (urhm, American mediums... 36 to 38 waist).  And?  And they fit like a charm!  Of course, my belly seems pretty much still in place, so it actually looks worse.  But... these fit much better.  I don't constantly fear becoming a black guy.  Oh, and the real benefit?  The mediums cost half what the size I used to need cost.  Less than half, actually, by a little.  *grins*

Crap!  Blood sugar is up to 176?  I ate right foods, right portions, took a dose of fast acting earlier.  Oh well, I will take another, with the fatted coffee.  Perhaps too many doses of liquid sweetener?  Maybe I... used too much?  Still, have to be careful with the amount.  Say... 15 cc's?  Maybe 20, but that might be pushing it, after last night.  Yes, 15 cc's.  Then, later, slow acting.  

A coffee, a shower, then chores, then trying to stay awake later, as late as possible, up to midafternoon.  Good morning, day, and probably goodnight too.

Back to food logging.

.

.

Well, I just wasn't able to keep up on things, everything.  Out of focus, lost, drifting.  Still am, but trying to latch onto a few things.  Logging food is one of them.

Just for today, can't remember what I ate yesterday.  Today I had chia, fatted coffee, taco salad with cheddar, and finally a cup of egg whites mixed with my homemade kefir... with a few drops of various sweeteners.  Not... bad.  I had hope to add berries.  But the ones I have in the freezer have that freezer burn smell.  Bleh.  So... I just went mostly raw.  May add cinnamon and some other spices.  Vanilla would be nice, too?

Not only did I log today, I am getting very close to hitting my targets.  Protein powder, in with the egg whites, and kefir, will make an excellent full finish for my needs.  It isn't really all that bad.  It's more the idea, than the fact.  And, with berries, fresh... or fresh frozen... I am quite sure this will be a delight.  I'll stay away from most frozen fruits, very high in sugars.  And, many of them have sugar added on top of it.  But some berries are frozen without being drenched in sugar, dextrose, corn syrup, or else.  If you look carefully.  If you don't know what an additive is, look it up.  Most people have smart phones right there with them, these days.  It'll find it for you.

It's like they are trying to charge someone for the sugar they should really be throwing away (or not producing).  But they produce it because the government subsidizes that.  So... they have to use it.  Industrialized farming coming to it's final conclusion... make people sick for industrialized medicine, then keep them sick for it and big pharma.  No one is on your side, or riding to your rescue.  They are just going to rob the government through you, until they can just go through your pockets for spare change when you die.

Anway...  Oh, and I may have made a rough round of intermittent fasting.  Definitely in the eight hour run, but more likely in the four the six hour window.  I have another hour for the six hour window, I am pretty sure, maybe two... but I am being conservative.  I just have to get the goop down in time.  I think I can.  Anyway...  Good morning and day.  Hopefully I can stay awake until 14:00 to 16:00 tonight.  Not sure, it's rough.  Later.