.
.
Life is spinning. Time is... simply off any hook. I am attempting to regain control. The sun has been down, and it has been cool... which is fantastic after that jump to the 80's, at least, in the first week of summerish weather. However, that on top of me running the ship at breakneck intent, while sleeping too little, and... you have the makings for several things. Right now, I am just keeping on keeping on with no idea... when where or how. I look at the time, but that gets lost in my mind. I can't remember when I went to bed, or got up, unless I blog it. But even then, finding it is difficult. First paragraph, from now on, and when I go to bed and when I rise. I need a clue. I woke just at noon thirty today. I can't be absolutely sure when I went to bed, but I think it was closing or past 4:00... within an half hour either way. Yesterday? I think I went to bed at... no clue. Maybe it's in previous posts. Okay... it looks like I went to bed at (in real time) around 7:30~8:00 yesterday morning. Yeah, the day I took for Sunday, thought I had missed, so... yes. Though when did I wake yesterday? Actually, just as I am waking, I am not sure I am writing any of that rightly. I'll think on it. Bleh.
Today? Trash out, recycling if that's the day. Grilling meat later, much later... after supper. A very quick hit on the bathroom would be nice, then a major ding in the kitchen. Oh, yeah, it needs it harsh. And maybe a load of laundry. A shower, too, if I can. Showering every other day lately, which is good when I can, for a while... then back it down just a bit or I dry out. Daily is a true luxury, once in a while, on showers and baths.
We'll see. Working that mojo while that mojo ain't working is... tricky. Sometimes the old retired Coyote still has enough magic to pull it off. I'm just not a housekeeper, though, to top that program off. I finally have finances in order. If I were staying, for sure, I would figure out how to get the place clean, top to bottom, then have someone come in a few times a week. Couldn't do it all, but it would provide incentive and help. Seeing a clean spot, a new one, in an unclean place and... it seems wrong, so something kicks in. Sometimes. Either way, anything would be better than this.
Later.
Sunday, June 12, 2016
I do try.
.
.
Tonight, the idea was to get to bed early. Early enough to be up early enough to be out early enough to be there in time to help. I threw everything off by pouting in cooking the duck so late into the morning. Almost 3:00 and I am just going down. I'll still set the alarm. Who knows. I made plans to sleep earlier, even saw the potential. It came and went and here I am. Always hope. Doubt, great doubt, but hope. Hope is, really, just another word for tomorrow. In one sense. Tomorrow is until it isn't, and, in all the history of the earth, most people's tomorrows have already passed and there were fewer tomorrows then there was no tomorrow, in earthly terms. Never mind, blathering as my brain shuts down.
Oh, I did heat some of the duck. A cast skillet, ghee, this and that, at 350 for an half hour. Look, if I am going to go through the effort to make a somewhat finer meal, then I am going to reheat it with respect. A microwave would take the crisp right out of the skin, and might make the meat and veggies taste a bit off. Some can do that, I am not, generally, among them. It was quite good. Not much meat on that bird. Even at 7.2 pounds, I'll bet there wasn't more than two pounds of meat, max. Ducks must have some seriously heavy bones. Still, the a wing and hindquarter, and breast, by two, is four meals of sufficient portions for myself. I'll not complain.
I do suffer. If I were sleeping harshly I would be suffering too. I go through these phases. It will pass. I might, if I can, even work through it, or otherwise by it. Cranky muscles and bones. The only way I can be up so long, and it is often running eighteen or more, as I have been watching more closely, is to do little else. I really would rather be awake than in that fog. The price, of course, is pain. I'm good enough with pain. It will pass, for a while, soon enough. Suffering, in some way, to my mind, means one is doing something. And I am. Good night.
.
Tonight, the idea was to get to bed early. Early enough to be up early enough to be out early enough to be there in time to help. I threw everything off by pouting in cooking the duck so late into the morning. Almost 3:00 and I am just going down. I'll still set the alarm. Who knows. I made plans to sleep earlier, even saw the potential. It came and went and here I am. Always hope. Doubt, great doubt, but hope. Hope is, really, just another word for tomorrow. In one sense. Tomorrow is until it isn't, and, in all the history of the earth, most people's tomorrows have already passed and there were fewer tomorrows then there was no tomorrow, in earthly terms. Never mind, blathering as my brain shuts down.
Oh, I did heat some of the duck. A cast skillet, ghee, this and that, at 350 for an half hour. Look, if I am going to go through the effort to make a somewhat finer meal, then I am going to reheat it with respect. A microwave would take the crisp right out of the skin, and might make the meat and veggies taste a bit off. Some can do that, I am not, generally, among them. It was quite good. Not much meat on that bird. Even at 7.2 pounds, I'll bet there wasn't more than two pounds of meat, max. Ducks must have some seriously heavy bones. Still, the a wing and hindquarter, and breast, by two, is four meals of sufficient portions for myself. I'll not complain.
I do suffer. If I were sleeping harshly I would be suffering too. I go through these phases. It will pass. I might, if I can, even work through it, or otherwise by it. Cranky muscles and bones. The only way I can be up so long, and it is often running eighteen or more, as I have been watching more closely, is to do little else. I really would rather be awake than in that fog. The price, of course, is pain. I'm good enough with pain. It will pass, for a while, soon enough. Suffering, in some way, to my mind, means one is doing something. And I am. Good night.
Saturday, June 11, 2016
Now to bed.
.
.
The duck was quite good. Not perfect. It has been a while and I am at altitude. And, oddly, it seems to have cooked faster than indicated. Wha? Yeah. A bit overdone. Not terribly, inedibly, overcooked. Just... a bit over done. Now the skin? Ah, that was duck bacon at it's finest. And the veggies were great. Glad I remembered mushrooms, both at the store, and while cooking. The turnips just... didn't go with duck. I think you need beef or... not sure what else... but beef works with turnips. The rest of it is grand. A feast. And, yes, mother, I did get what I could off the carcass and store it away with the veggies I will be eating. The turnips will be let out, not kept. I wish I had enough going to further roast the carcass then make stock. I'll have to settle with what I have done. Should feed me for most part of a week.
Sleep is just off. It's just the way it goes. Gets hot, on top of it, then cools down fast and hard, and darkens. I'm being played like a sadd fool, which I obviously am. S.A.D.D., not a mistake. Too hot or cold, to light or dark, or sudden turns, and I nosedive. All good, paybacks are... wait, who would I offer the payback? God, seriously, doesn't micromanage and adjust weather. Even if He did, you can't quite do much to Him. Murder Him and He just walks out while opening the gates to heaven. Lucifer, if he could, might well try to adjust the weather. He just doesn't have it in him. So, no payback. I guess I'll just have to fiddle around as I may.
Good night.
.
The duck was quite good. Not perfect. It has been a while and I am at altitude. And, oddly, it seems to have cooked faster than indicated. Wha? Yeah. A bit overdone. Not terribly, inedibly, overcooked. Just... a bit over done. Now the skin? Ah, that was duck bacon at it's finest. And the veggies were great. Glad I remembered mushrooms, both at the store, and while cooking. The turnips just... didn't go with duck. I think you need beef or... not sure what else... but beef works with turnips. The rest of it is grand. A feast. And, yes, mother, I did get what I could off the carcass and store it away with the veggies I will be eating. The turnips will be let out, not kept. I wish I had enough going to further roast the carcass then make stock. I'll have to settle with what I have done. Should feed me for most part of a week.
Sleep is just off. It's just the way it goes. Gets hot, on top of it, then cools down fast and hard, and darkens. I'm being played like a sadd fool, which I obviously am. S.A.D.D., not a mistake. Too hot or cold, to light or dark, or sudden turns, and I nosedive. All good, paybacks are... wait, who would I offer the payback? God, seriously, doesn't micromanage and adjust weather. Even if He did, you can't quite do much to Him. Murder Him and He just walks out while opening the gates to heaven. Lucifer, if he could, might well try to adjust the weather. He just doesn't have it in him. So, no payback. I guess I'll just have to fiddle around as I may.
Good night.
I gave it a shot.
.
.
With a morning event coming up very quickly, and an evening event after that, I was hoping to work out my schedule. All I did was bungle it. Being cool, however, and with the bird thawed... it was nearly thawed anyway. A short soak finished the process. It is now in the oven, has been for nearly an hour and an half. An hour remains, with a strong amount of give an take. In the higher elevations food usually takes longer, and then some. If you learn to go for a doneness, and learn that, and are patient, it'll get there. Along with it are red potatoes, carrots, turnips, rutabaga, and celery. The scent is quite nice. I didn't herb and spice it all up. Salt, pepper, and the veggies, that's that. Oh, right, mushrooms. I added those here at the near end of the process. Baby portabellas and something else.
I had worried I had totally missed the morning event. I got my days mixed up. Easy to do when days and nights are becoming on odd ends of the day, the days become excessively long, and sleep cycles either run really short or long, each providing a slightly different problem. It was because I thought I missed that I pushed the bird on through. It needed cooked, I thought I had the time since I thought I had messed up. With it as it stands, however, I have probably killed any chance I might have had to make the morning event. I'm still hoping, and will work toward it. I simply have serious doubts, more so now. I hate when I mess up, not because I messed up but because I thought I had messed up so just do whatever only to realize I might have still been on track.
Yeah, it's a bit tough sometimes. Still, being awake and doing something is better than that terrible three day a day cycle I broke from. Ah well. Later. Probably good night. While I have to wait for the bird, and then eat some and put the rest up, I doubt if I'll blog more.
.
With a morning event coming up very quickly, and an evening event after that, I was hoping to work out my schedule. All I did was bungle it. Being cool, however, and with the bird thawed... it was nearly thawed anyway. A short soak finished the process. It is now in the oven, has been for nearly an hour and an half. An hour remains, with a strong amount of give an take. In the higher elevations food usually takes longer, and then some. If you learn to go for a doneness, and learn that, and are patient, it'll get there. Along with it are red potatoes, carrots, turnips, rutabaga, and celery. The scent is quite nice. I didn't herb and spice it all up. Salt, pepper, and the veggies, that's that. Oh, right, mushrooms. I added those here at the near end of the process. Baby portabellas and something else.
I had worried I had totally missed the morning event. I got my days mixed up. Easy to do when days and nights are becoming on odd ends of the day, the days become excessively long, and sleep cycles either run really short or long, each providing a slightly different problem. It was because I thought I missed that I pushed the bird on through. It needed cooked, I thought I had the time since I thought I had messed up. With it as it stands, however, I have probably killed any chance I might have had to make the morning event. I'm still hoping, and will work toward it. I simply have serious doubts, more so now. I hate when I mess up, not because I messed up but because I thought I had messed up so just do whatever only to realize I might have still been on track.
Yeah, it's a bit tough sometimes. Still, being awake and doing something is better than that terrible three day a day cycle I broke from. Ah well. Later. Probably good night. While I have to wait for the bird, and then eat some and put the rest up, I doubt if I'll blog more.
Friday, June 10, 2016
Sleeping later and later.
.
.
Knew it would have to happen. And yet, I have done quite well, on days, if to no good, but for some time now. The heat, I suppose, and how I am running things. I almost woke several times. Just could not focus. Not good, need to be up early Sunday. Bleh. Not sure I can, will try.
Would have slept longer. Three shots, quick succession, to the south, 1,000 feet? No more than half a mile at the most. Not worried, not here. Just noises out here sometimes. It's a small town, but a country town. Not the wild west, just... the country. Not every day sounds, just sometimes. Still, woke me.
I keep getting the feeling that something wicked this way comes. Not here, exactly, probably. You never can tell who all is involved in such things. People with earthly power are rattled. Their attempt at forcing things is going downhill, as is their grasp on wealth and power. People have finally started getting involved, and balking at the leash and whip. They are becoming desperate. It isn't just the handlers, it's their mutts even more. They love their little bit of golden access, and don't want us plebes interfering with their fatted golden goose, which just so happens to be the middle class, which they have mostly eaten. Yeah, that never works out. Thankfully, it's the one group that, when losing all their toys, might actually be able and willing to fight back. Unless it goes on too long, then they just become part of the working poor, or less.
So, will the super rich be pulling strings to make something bad happen? Will it be their puppets, in order to create enough chaos to remand power, suppress elections, etc? They won't do it directly, they will use their feral allies. This admin is directly related to those, and this congress is owned by those super rich. Done it before? I honestly don't think so, not the big hits. Little ones, sure, maybe. These people are desperate, now that we don't just take what they offer and be happy for glib words with no substance. Not really my gig, life is odd off heart meds. Still, I write what I see. And I see bad things being fomented. Much death and blood. Though, too, I get the feeling that they are realizing it will come back to bite them. Much as the 'anybody but Trump' crowd (same crew, actually), are learning that their stance is both outing them, and killing them... politically. Even so, the lazy brutes who have owned power in US politics for a long time might not care. Desperate is just that.
I've collected some music, as the notion hits me from time to time and I go looking. Just, not yet. They are being squirrely. Unsure. They honestly don't know what to do. Everything they have tried has failed. They have had all the press, and favorable press, for their pushes. They have economic, political, social, and all other levers at their command. Even that is backfiring. Surandon and Barr are even in for Trump. Yeah, those ones. He is getting the very oddest of endorsements. Online, that includes Vox and myself. Very... eclectic... support. Now, admittedly, fringe. But the odd thing is, it's not from the fringe out, it's from the fringe in. If Trump hasn't had a team working on this for ten years, then I will say, I do believe he and they are verging on genius. The system he is running is working, though I suspect in part because it isn't supposed to work.
.
Knew it would have to happen. And yet, I have done quite well, on days, if to no good, but for some time now. The heat, I suppose, and how I am running things. I almost woke several times. Just could not focus. Not good, need to be up early Sunday. Bleh. Not sure I can, will try.
Would have slept longer. Three shots, quick succession, to the south, 1,000 feet? No more than half a mile at the most. Not worried, not here. Just noises out here sometimes. It's a small town, but a country town. Not the wild west, just... the country. Not every day sounds, just sometimes. Still, woke me.
I keep getting the feeling that something wicked this way comes. Not here, exactly, probably. You never can tell who all is involved in such things. People with earthly power are rattled. Their attempt at forcing things is going downhill, as is their grasp on wealth and power. People have finally started getting involved, and balking at the leash and whip. They are becoming desperate. It isn't just the handlers, it's their mutts even more. They love their little bit of golden access, and don't want us plebes interfering with their fatted golden goose, which just so happens to be the middle class, which they have mostly eaten. Yeah, that never works out. Thankfully, it's the one group that, when losing all their toys, might actually be able and willing to fight back. Unless it goes on too long, then they just become part of the working poor, or less.
So, will the super rich be pulling strings to make something bad happen? Will it be their puppets, in order to create enough chaos to remand power, suppress elections, etc? They won't do it directly, they will use their feral allies. This admin is directly related to those, and this congress is owned by those super rich. Done it before? I honestly don't think so, not the big hits. Little ones, sure, maybe. These people are desperate, now that we don't just take what they offer and be happy for glib words with no substance. Not really my gig, life is odd off heart meds. Still, I write what I see. And I see bad things being fomented. Much death and blood. Though, too, I get the feeling that they are realizing it will come back to bite them. Much as the 'anybody but Trump' crowd (same crew, actually), are learning that their stance is both outing them, and killing them... politically. Even so, the lazy brutes who have owned power in US politics for a long time might not care. Desperate is just that.
I've collected some music, as the notion hits me from time to time and I go looking. Just, not yet. They are being squirrely. Unsure. They honestly don't know what to do. Everything they have tried has failed. They have had all the press, and favorable press, for their pushes. They have economic, political, social, and all other levers at their command. Even that is backfiring. Surandon and Barr are even in for Trump. Yeah, those ones. He is getting the very oddest of endorsements. Online, that includes Vox and myself. Very... eclectic... support. Now, admittedly, fringe. But the odd thing is, it's not from the fringe out, it's from the fringe in. If Trump hasn't had a team working on this for ten years, then I will say, I do believe he and they are verging on genius. The system he is running is working, though I suspect in part because it isn't supposed to work.
Thursday, June 9, 2016
Brutally hot.
.
.
No, not as hot as it can get. Just, only a week and maybe change from the 60's as highs, it's hitting mid 80's perhaps low 90's. Even so I am not suffering too much, or yet. At least if I don't work up a sweat. Then again, even that wasn't so bad. Nothing fancy, a trip to town. Two packages to be returned via UPS plus a shopping trip. With the duck thawing, I wanted specific veggies. Carrots and celery, plus red potatoes, turnips, and rutabaga... then a few regular items. Everything went spiffy. I almost missed UPS, they had just about lowered the inner metal gate. I was quite grateful for their allowance.
I stopped at BK. Hot. No real complaints. Usually they have ac going, though that may be corporate and economic reality? Hot. Still, the ladies were good enough and, even with the brain in minor melt down... if more from previous running around... it all worked. A quick bite just to keep things going. A big bite, but quick. Oh, while there I saw a mouse... heard... can't be sure, maybe both... roar. Oh, well, yes. Blushed, I did. And, yet, warmed. A different way. Then she realized what she had done and quieted back down. Wonderful. I think I fell in love for a few minutes. Dolls'll kill ya. But you'll die happy, even if chaste, sometimes? Yeah.
I got home, unpacked, all good. I was heated, but that left quickly. I still have boots and socks on! I... must be changing. Then again, I'm not on medication anymore. Nothing. That might be it. Medicine might have been the problem. Oh, well, I still look like a blood orange, sometimes in the heat process. But It's a lot less painful now. Just a thing. Later.
.
No, not as hot as it can get. Just, only a week and maybe change from the 60's as highs, it's hitting mid 80's perhaps low 90's. Even so I am not suffering too much, or yet. At least if I don't work up a sweat. Then again, even that wasn't so bad. Nothing fancy, a trip to town. Two packages to be returned via UPS plus a shopping trip. With the duck thawing, I wanted specific veggies. Carrots and celery, plus red potatoes, turnips, and rutabaga... then a few regular items. Everything went spiffy. I almost missed UPS, they had just about lowered the inner metal gate. I was quite grateful for their allowance.
I stopped at BK. Hot. No real complaints. Usually they have ac going, though that may be corporate and economic reality? Hot. Still, the ladies were good enough and, even with the brain in minor melt down... if more from previous running around... it all worked. A quick bite just to keep things going. A big bite, but quick. Oh, while there I saw a mouse... heard... can't be sure, maybe both... roar. Oh, well, yes. Blushed, I did. And, yet, warmed. A different way. Then she realized what she had done and quieted back down. Wonderful. I think I fell in love for a few minutes. Dolls'll kill ya. But you'll die happy, even if chaste, sometimes? Yeah.
I got home, unpacked, all good. I was heated, but that left quickly. I still have boots and socks on! I... must be changing. Then again, I'm not on medication anymore. Nothing. That might be it. Medicine might have been the problem. Oh, well, I still look like a blood orange, sometimes in the heat process. But It's a lot less painful now. Just a thing. Later.
Tap dancing with the devil?
.
.
Aye. All do it. Even God. Oppositional or obediently, I suppose. Though I tell you this, even if you abide Satan, you will do God's work. Even if you do the greatest evil, even if you murdered Christ, you... do God's work. It's not that God forces you, it's simply that He can't lose. He can have His pie, and eat it to, unlike the rest of us... unless we follow. You learn to walk His way, you will, in time, simply understand. And, yes, I do. I can't do all those sweet tricks that are truths of heaven yet, not all of them. But I can... obviously... do some things that are... unknown to many. Even just being alive. If I died today, just that I have lived this long alone is... not... usual? Yes. And yet, today or tomorrow, I will probably be climbing trees, swinging in the wind, with a chainsaw. *wink* So, dancing with the devil? If you aren't, you simply don't understand, or you don't believe in the devil. Neither of which is my affair. I've warned you.
Today? I don't know. Still deep in the cup of the game. Running too long of days, sleeping is a bit shy. And, yet, it is far better than being lost in that middle ground between sleep and wakefulness that is such a wasteland. I have been eating at least daily. I have duck out, to be baked, before long... probably this evening. Oh, and I finally got around to experimenting with the hard, hard, black tea and cream mix. As I suspected, the hard black tea pairs very well with cream. Even without sweetener the tea with cream had a very mild flavor of... strawberries? A berry very like that. Not quite direct, so difficult to get a handle on. But very good. I have decided, as well, that I need another freezer. Ugh... Have to get out sooner or later, then, to get that.
Other than those things, I have mostly just been gaming. Well, later.
.
Aye. All do it. Even God. Oppositional or obediently, I suppose. Though I tell you this, even if you abide Satan, you will do God's work. Even if you do the greatest evil, even if you murdered Christ, you... do God's work. It's not that God forces you, it's simply that He can't lose. He can have His pie, and eat it to, unlike the rest of us... unless we follow. You learn to walk His way, you will, in time, simply understand. And, yes, I do. I can't do all those sweet tricks that are truths of heaven yet, not all of them. But I can... obviously... do some things that are... unknown to many. Even just being alive. If I died today, just that I have lived this long alone is... not... usual? Yes. And yet, today or tomorrow, I will probably be climbing trees, swinging in the wind, with a chainsaw. *wink* So, dancing with the devil? If you aren't, you simply don't understand, or you don't believe in the devil. Neither of which is my affair. I've warned you.
Today? I don't know. Still deep in the cup of the game. Running too long of days, sleeping is a bit shy. And, yet, it is far better than being lost in that middle ground between sleep and wakefulness that is such a wasteland. I have been eating at least daily. I have duck out, to be baked, before long... probably this evening. Oh, and I finally got around to experimenting with the hard, hard, black tea and cream mix. As I suspected, the hard black tea pairs very well with cream. Even without sweetener the tea with cream had a very mild flavor of... strawberries? A berry very like that. Not quite direct, so difficult to get a handle on. But very good. I have decided, as well, that I need another freezer. Ugh... Have to get out sooner or later, then, to get that.
Other than those things, I have mostly just been gaming. Well, later.
Monday, June 6, 2016
Well? Mostly.
.
.
I have said eighteen hour days. And, sometimes. Though I think it was more like sixteen hour days. My bad. Sometimes I just get the numbers wrong, add incorrectly... or subtract or sich, other times I'm just not seeing perfectly clearly. Still, the... it's usually in the ballpark. At least as I understand or see things. I did do an eighteen hour days yesterday. Though, untypically as of late, I slept ten hours last night. Hmm... wait, miscounting again. Down at 2:00, up initially at 8:00, then back down for two more, waking at 10:00. Actually, just eight hours of sleep? Okay, I feel better. I don't like waking that late, but when I am pressing that hard, and it is still only eight down, I guess it's okay. See what I mean? Easy to get messed on the numbers, without clearly thinking every little detail.
Whaught? I don't know. Just saying, correcting errors. Mostly just for me. Though, just in case one of you is paying really close attention to details... there you go. I hope that remedies things for you. What, Precious, is "whaught"? Ah, well, that is either ye olde timey "what", or Doom spooftalk. I initially spelled it with an "o", but that didn't seem right. If that helps you discern? Scoot, on this topic, for now.
.
I have said eighteen hour days. And, sometimes. Though I think it was more like sixteen hour days. My bad. Sometimes I just get the numbers wrong, add incorrectly... or subtract or sich, other times I'm just not seeing perfectly clearly. Still, the... it's usually in the ballpark. At least as I understand or see things. I did do an eighteen hour days yesterday. Though, untypically as of late, I slept ten hours last night. Hmm... wait, miscounting again. Down at 2:00, up initially at 8:00, then back down for two more, waking at 10:00. Actually, just eight hours of sleep? Okay, I feel better. I don't like waking that late, but when I am pressing that hard, and it is still only eight down, I guess it's okay. See what I mean? Easy to get messed on the numbers, without clearly thinking every little detail.
Whaught? I don't know. Just saying, correcting errors. Mostly just for me. Though, just in case one of you is paying really close attention to details... there you go. I hope that remedies things for you. What, Precious, is "whaught"? Ah, well, that is either ye olde timey "what", or Doom spooftalk. I initially spelled it with an "o", but that didn't seem right. If that helps you discern? Scoot, on this topic, for now.
Saturday, June 4, 2016
Grilling worked well.
.
.
Actually, pan frying has been quite good also. I've been hitting it out of the park, as far as cooking. Though, perhaps, my taste buds are functioning. Sometimes, when I don't seem to like food, I suspect, at least part of the time, it's because my senses are depressed, not working well. Still, cooking food correctly certainly helps. Ribs and one of the flap steaks this evening, another flap steak and several eggs for breakfast, with one cooked steak remaining. I might turn that into a rice dish. Oh, and I should make more tortillas. Easy, stores in the fridge and freezer for varying but reasonable times, and cooks up in a flash.
Grinding, then using corn starch, on my cheese... storing that in the freezer? Works exceptionally well. I still would like to get that used up in a couple of months, which is very probably... as long as I keep it on top. It works with mild cheddar. Next I hope to try it with pepper-jack. Not all cheeses are equal, some just won't work with this process.
Much warmer today, and yet not too bad. I'm not sure why it isn't ripping me up. Or maybe it is? Yeah, I can be that oblivious at times. Though I honest think I am doing fine. At least until I work up a sweat then can't come down, cool off, well. That is a bit of a claustrophobic thing. Trapped. A shower can help, if at that point I can wrangle myself in to take a shower. I have the ac going, and the fan. That should allow a good rest. Good night.
.
Actually, pan frying has been quite good also. I've been hitting it out of the park, as far as cooking. Though, perhaps, my taste buds are functioning. Sometimes, when I don't seem to like food, I suspect, at least part of the time, it's because my senses are depressed, not working well. Still, cooking food correctly certainly helps. Ribs and one of the flap steaks this evening, another flap steak and several eggs for breakfast, with one cooked steak remaining. I might turn that into a rice dish. Oh, and I should make more tortillas. Easy, stores in the fridge and freezer for varying but reasonable times, and cooks up in a flash.
Grinding, then using corn starch, on my cheese... storing that in the freezer? Works exceptionally well. I still would like to get that used up in a couple of months, which is very probably... as long as I keep it on top. It works with mild cheddar. Next I hope to try it with pepper-jack. Not all cheeses are equal, some just won't work with this process.
Much warmer today, and yet not too bad. I'm not sure why it isn't ripping me up. Or maybe it is? Yeah, I can be that oblivious at times. Though I honest think I am doing fine. At least until I work up a sweat then can't come down, cool off, well. That is a bit of a claustrophobic thing. Trapped. A shower can help, if at that point I can wrangle myself in to take a shower. I have the ac going, and the fan. That should allow a good rest. Good night.
Awake and... something.
.
.
Mornings are always bland. I stayed up way to late, but woke well enough and early enough, given the givens. I realized why I couldn't sleep. Too warm. The thermostats were reading that it was between 73 and 74 F. Now, that isn't exactly hot, but for me, and since it has been a very cool spring, a few degrees up makes all the difference. Not sure why it was so warm, it was cooler outside. It must be the cave soaking up all the rads of a much longer sun day. I'll have to begin playing with windows and fans. Last night, when I realized the problem, I did a temp fix. I'll try to be ahead of the game here on in. Though, at some point, between the extra light getting to me, and the added heat... Well...
Not much planned today. I am hoping, though, to kick things around and push through this coming week. A trip or two to town, perhaps up in the trees with the saw again, and if that goes forward, than on to setting up the hammock and other kit, for practice and fun. I have ordered some equipment that should make tree climbing easier and a bit safer. Those trees rip the body up, that wood is very hard... don't care if they call the pine soft wood. When alive it has very little give. I am excited to finally be getting back to it, if I can. We'll see.
I fried two chops yesterday. One for breakfast, with eggs. One later, with rice. Fantastic. I have learned pan frying, at least for chops. My cast was seasoned well enough so that, even after frying the chops, I was able to fry the eggs easy over without any issue. Today? I have ribs and flap steaks to grill. Those should last me several days. Though... when it's been a while since I've eaten ribs... those might go down in a single leap. Leap? What does a three hundred pound gorilla say? Anything it wants, so hush your pie hole.
By the way, I need to find a barbecue sauce, rub, or recipe for sich. Fresh pork REALLY goes well with the right fixings. I like it straight up as well. But a wonderful rub or flavor cooking gravy would be very kind from time to time, just to switch things up. I'll work on it, and keep you vested with my findings. I already have some ideas about how to work the ribs and other odd cuts. I so love playing with my food.
On to the day. Good day and get off my porch!
.
Mornings are always bland. I stayed up way to late, but woke well enough and early enough, given the givens. I realized why I couldn't sleep. Too warm. The thermostats were reading that it was between 73 and 74 F. Now, that isn't exactly hot, but for me, and since it has been a very cool spring, a few degrees up makes all the difference. Not sure why it was so warm, it was cooler outside. It must be the cave soaking up all the rads of a much longer sun day. I'll have to begin playing with windows and fans. Last night, when I realized the problem, I did a temp fix. I'll try to be ahead of the game here on in. Though, at some point, between the extra light getting to me, and the added heat... Well...
Not much planned today. I am hoping, though, to kick things around and push through this coming week. A trip or two to town, perhaps up in the trees with the saw again, and if that goes forward, than on to setting up the hammock and other kit, for practice and fun. I have ordered some equipment that should make tree climbing easier and a bit safer. Those trees rip the body up, that wood is very hard... don't care if they call the pine soft wood. When alive it has very little give. I am excited to finally be getting back to it, if I can. We'll see.
I fried two chops yesterday. One for breakfast, with eggs. One later, with rice. Fantastic. I have learned pan frying, at least for chops. My cast was seasoned well enough so that, even after frying the chops, I was able to fry the eggs easy over without any issue. Today? I have ribs and flap steaks to grill. Those should last me several days. Though... when it's been a while since I've eaten ribs... those might go down in a single leap. Leap? What does a three hundred pound gorilla say? Anything it wants, so hush your pie hole.
By the way, I need to find a barbecue sauce, rub, or recipe for sich. Fresh pork REALLY goes well with the right fixings. I like it straight up as well. But a wonderful rub or flavor cooking gravy would be very kind from time to time, just to switch things up. I'll work on it, and keep you vested with my findings. I already have some ideas about how to work the ribs and other odd cuts. I so love playing with my food.
On to the day. Good day and get off my porch!
Friday, June 3, 2016
Up early, in the right sense of the term.
.
.
I am still in a miserable physical state due to the expensive rocket launch. *blink* Getting better, slowly. Going to bed just a bit after 22:00 seems to have been right. A long day yesterday, too little sleep the night before this eve, but it is working out. If I can just keep it at this pace. The thing is, as the world heats up, I often, usually... always... lose control. If I can figure out how to keep my world cool, though, that might... be better managed. It has taken years for me to get enough items and such in play to have a chance at keeping my world cool. Actually, there is one last thing I wish to add yet this year... a heavier duty cool-duty humidifier. Coupled with the window ac and fans, it might pay really well.
Today? Still resting. Hopefully I will get to more today than yesterday. It will help that I have meat thawed. In an hour or two, after I have more fully waken, I was thinking eggs and chops... pork chops. Yum! Hungry, even now. This evening I will probably grill the beef ribs. Tomorrow it will be beef flanks. Yeah... when I eat, either by hook or charity, I eat well. :) Oh, don't harsh on my mellow with jealousy. You eat more, and more often, than I do even in my dreams. Imagine only eating four to ten times a week, max... or not eating at all, save three times now (if you can eat then, that is), for weeks. Don bee jeluz, Lucy.
Well, on to... something. Be well.
.
I am still in a miserable physical state due to the expensive rocket launch. *blink* Getting better, slowly. Going to bed just a bit after 22:00 seems to have been right. A long day yesterday, too little sleep the night before this eve, but it is working out. If I can just keep it at this pace. The thing is, as the world heats up, I often, usually... always... lose control. If I can figure out how to keep my world cool, though, that might... be better managed. It has taken years for me to get enough items and such in play to have a chance at keeping my world cool. Actually, there is one last thing I wish to add yet this year... a heavier duty cool-duty humidifier. Coupled with the window ac and fans, it might pay really well.
Today? Still resting. Hopefully I will get to more today than yesterday. It will help that I have meat thawed. In an hour or two, after I have more fully waken, I was thinking eggs and chops... pork chops. Yum! Hungry, even now. This evening I will probably grill the beef ribs. Tomorrow it will be beef flanks. Yeah... when I eat, either by hook or charity, I eat well. :) Oh, don't harsh on my mellow with jealousy. You eat more, and more often, than I do even in my dreams. Imagine only eating four to ten times a week, max... or not eating at all, save three times now (if you can eat then, that is), for weeks. Don bee jeluz, Lucy.
Well, on to... something. Be well.
Thursday, June 2, 2016
Very strange.
.
.
The thermostat and another thermometer both read between 72 and 73 today. Now, for me, that is, usually, especially for as cool as it has been, a warm temp. Actually, generally, this time of year, for me, it is hot. And yet all day I have been fighting the chills, and losing. It made doing anything a struggle. Thus little was done. I hadn't planned on much. I did less.
On the good side, I woke relatively early and am about to go to bed at a good time. A good time, as I define it, is a time which makes maintaining a day schedule more likely. I have to work hard to do very simple things. Things you take for granted, or mostly. Even so, I often... no, I will... fail. It's just a matter of time. It's like going swimming in the ocean for the first time, not knowing about the true power of the waves, undercurrents, and such. No, you will go down. So it is with me, often. And yet I don't quit. Do my best, push and pull actively and passively. When failure occurs, rinse and repeat as able.
Oh, I had a strange dream, between a few moments. She asked if I thought I could make her happy. I laughed. No man will make you happy! So, no, I won't. I would merely be able to fulfill your nature as a woman to be a wife and mother, God willing. I would be able to keep finances and the relationship in check and going, with a little help. But, definitely not as to making or keeping her happy. I think they know this. Oh, just because a question is asked, doesn't mean anything is in play. I think it was... interesting. Not in that way, just in the attention garnered. A terror then, possibly still now a bit, to be in a spotlight. But, now, just a curiosity. I do believe. Still, that was the question and answer. It's like I hit REM sleep between this, and that, second... somehow.
All good. Good night.
.
The thermostat and another thermometer both read between 72 and 73 today. Now, for me, that is, usually, especially for as cool as it has been, a warm temp. Actually, generally, this time of year, for me, it is hot. And yet all day I have been fighting the chills, and losing. It made doing anything a struggle. Thus little was done. I hadn't planned on much. I did less.
On the good side, I woke relatively early and am about to go to bed at a good time. A good time, as I define it, is a time which makes maintaining a day schedule more likely. I have to work hard to do very simple things. Things you take for granted, or mostly. Even so, I often... no, I will... fail. It's just a matter of time. It's like going swimming in the ocean for the first time, not knowing about the true power of the waves, undercurrents, and such. No, you will go down. So it is with me, often. And yet I don't quit. Do my best, push and pull actively and passively. When failure occurs, rinse and repeat as able.
Oh, I had a strange dream, between a few moments. She asked if I thought I could make her happy. I laughed. No man will make you happy! So, no, I won't. I would merely be able to fulfill your nature as a woman to be a wife and mother, God willing. I would be able to keep finances and the relationship in check and going, with a little help. But, definitely not as to making or keeping her happy. I think they know this. Oh, just because a question is asked, doesn't mean anything is in play. I think it was... interesting. Not in that way, just in the attention garnered. A terror then, possibly still now a bit, to be in a spotlight. But, now, just a curiosity. I do believe. Still, that was the question and answer. It's like I hit REM sleep between this, and that, second... somehow.
All good. Good night.
Up well and early.
.
.
Going down so late after such a long day, I wasn't sure when I would wake. When I am doing better, it is usually earlier... or closer to what has been the schedule. I guess, given that I am up well before I would have predicted and bedtime would have dictated, I am doing well. It doesn't, exactly, feel like it. My torso is still in recovery. The lovehandles to the core are all just a bit ticklish after the exercise in movements. Drop that boom, lad! Oh well.
Today? Rest, mostly, and gaming. I know there are things I could do. I also know I need a little breather. Perhaps another load of laundry. Maybe some dishes. I could get to the toilet, finishing that as I please. And I may. Those tasks won't break into my rest unless I force march all of them, in a hurry, altogether. The question is whether I'll remember, then stay on focus, to do all or even one of those. The mind is an awful thing with a stressed body. I used to be able to operate while running long hours, and operate well. That isn't so much the case these days.
Oh, and I ought to get something out to thaw for a few meals. Chops for the grill, a pound of burger for... some... weird mix, oh and beef ribs for the grill. Cook it all and live off it like a king... it's a good way to go, imho. Later.
.
Going down so late after such a long day, I wasn't sure when I would wake. When I am doing better, it is usually earlier... or closer to what has been the schedule. I guess, given that I am up well before I would have predicted and bedtime would have dictated, I am doing well. It doesn't, exactly, feel like it. My torso is still in recovery. The lovehandles to the core are all just a bit ticklish after the exercise in movements. Drop that boom, lad! Oh well.
Today? Rest, mostly, and gaming. I know there are things I could do. I also know I need a little breather. Perhaps another load of laundry. Maybe some dishes. I could get to the toilet, finishing that as I please. And I may. Those tasks won't break into my rest unless I force march all of them, in a hurry, altogether. The question is whether I'll remember, then stay on focus, to do all or even one of those. The mind is an awful thing with a stressed body. I used to be able to operate while running long hours, and operate well. That isn't so much the case these days.
Oh, and I ought to get something out to thaw for a few meals. Chops for the grill, a pound of burger for... some... weird mix, oh and beef ribs for the grill. Cook it all and live off it like a king... it's a good way to go, imho. Later.
Late.
.
.
I have been keeping my days in line. Time has been, however, slowly edging over. At almost 3:00, this might be the start of sleeping days again. It always happens, just a matter of time. I only have a few pieces of business to attend before I go dark, or that is the hope. I have found that the world, no matter my intent or it's designs, works quite well without me. Still, I prefer to offer input on some things.
I did get the check for the meat out today. It is good to have that tended. Now to really consider whether a new freezer is in line. I think it is, even if it is going to be temporary. I will go cheap, as I will be moving within a year or two. No choice. I can't seem to afford medicine even if I can afford a doctor. And, the state, now that they have been sicked on me, must do what it must do. So I will be losing my license.
Anyway... I will be putting much of this beef up as jerk. Freezing that on top of it. I hope to have enough beef jerky, along with some of my other stores, to last the first year, maybe two, wherever I go. I figure, renting a climate controlled storage unit, or one on both sides of the state, hitching and camping between the two, should set me up fairly well. Plus, access to some cash from time to time. Wintering over as a house-sitter, if possible, or renting if not.
Oh, while out, I did manage to find a smaller tube of silicone. I will use that along the trim of the toilet and floor, as well as for the toilet seat bolts. I have another bead of calk further under the toilet body... two just seemed better than one. The outer one is the only one I can redo, though, without having to use another wax seal. It isn't necessary though, either, I don't believe. Now to completely wash the toilet again. I want it super clean before working with it.
Bedtime. Good night.
.
I have been keeping my days in line. Time has been, however, slowly edging over. At almost 3:00, this might be the start of sleeping days again. It always happens, just a matter of time. I only have a few pieces of business to attend before I go dark, or that is the hope. I have found that the world, no matter my intent or it's designs, works quite well without me. Still, I prefer to offer input on some things.
I did get the check for the meat out today. It is good to have that tended. Now to really consider whether a new freezer is in line. I think it is, even if it is going to be temporary. I will go cheap, as I will be moving within a year or two. No choice. I can't seem to afford medicine even if I can afford a doctor. And, the state, now that they have been sicked on me, must do what it must do. So I will be losing my license.
Anyway... I will be putting much of this beef up as jerk. Freezing that on top of it. I hope to have enough beef jerky, along with some of my other stores, to last the first year, maybe two, wherever I go. I figure, renting a climate controlled storage unit, or one on both sides of the state, hitching and camping between the two, should set me up fairly well. Plus, access to some cash from time to time. Wintering over as a house-sitter, if possible, or renting if not.
Oh, while out, I did manage to find a smaller tube of silicone. I will use that along the trim of the toilet and floor, as well as for the toilet seat bolts. I have another bead of calk further under the toilet body... two just seemed better than one. The outer one is the only one I can redo, though, without having to use another wax seal. It isn't necessary though, either, I don't believe. Now to completely wash the toilet again. I want it super clean before working with it.
Bedtime. Good night.
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
I was wondering.
.
.
I woke in some distress this morning. Even through the night I could tell something was awfully wrong. Pains in my stomach, lower torso in general. Something was very off. Has an organ finally quit? Bleeding or spillage of something unhappy? Sure, being up long hours, then getting ready and out, to the butcher and store, and having to shove all the way... yeah. But that shouldn't affect my stomach. Then I remembered. Yesterday morning I had an epic b.m. I was nearly literally doing a crunch for between 45 and and hour yesterday. Brutal. I didn't know I had that kind of torso strength and endurance left to me. Yep. If something I have done was ever going to kill me, within the last five years, that was it. So, now, my lower ribs to the top of my hip-bones all know they let a big one get away. Oh, I should be careful. Making myself laugh hurts. But it hurts so good!
I don't mind pain, less when I can place the cause, even less if I agree with the reason. For this, it's all good. I think I ate too little for too long, then ate beans, burger, and cheese without anything to cut it for a couple of days, then stopped eating again. Masticated glue, and a large bundle of it. All I'm saying the more.
Shopping yesterday. All the usuals. Milk, butter, and now fruit. Mostly citrus this time. There are some... weird, orange like, fruits that... I tried them several times back. They taste like oranges used to, to my mind. Fantastic. Golden nuggets? Something like that, I think. Fuggly, but tasty. Grapefruit, again. If you don't like grapefruit, you probably have never peeled it then peeled the sections themselves. Divine fruit, at least that way. Still, from time to time, I like the bitter. Keeps my force in alignment, and when I need a sour look, I have a memory to focus the need upon. :p
I forgot to pay for the beef, and hog, too! I just ran out of my mind. The stomach had worn me, the extra effort of being out and about, and I am still running eighteen to twenty two hour days. Brutal, but beautiful. I love it when I, for me, can hit the limits then keep going. Oh, I'll fail. I won't get it all, hit every ball, make every base, succeed on every steal... but I'll play my heart out. And I am. So, today, I need to call, a bit later, to find the best time to bring payment by... today, tomorrow, at his discretion. It's good to have these things done. Oh, and I need to ponder whether another freezer is needed. I am thinking it is. Maybe a stand up this time, even if a lot spendier. Bleh.
Well... Off with their heads! Uhrm, wait. That isn't my line. The mind whirls as I wake. Anywhile. Later, and good day.
.
I woke in some distress this morning. Even through the night I could tell something was awfully wrong. Pains in my stomach, lower torso in general. Something was very off. Has an organ finally quit? Bleeding or spillage of something unhappy? Sure, being up long hours, then getting ready and out, to the butcher and store, and having to shove all the way... yeah. But that shouldn't affect my stomach. Then I remembered. Yesterday morning I had an epic b.m. I was nearly literally doing a crunch for between 45 and and hour yesterday. Brutal. I didn't know I had that kind of torso strength and endurance left to me. Yep. If something I have done was ever going to kill me, within the last five years, that was it. So, now, my lower ribs to the top of my hip-bones all know they let a big one get away. Oh, I should be careful. Making myself laugh hurts. But it hurts so good!
I don't mind pain, less when I can place the cause, even less if I agree with the reason. For this, it's all good. I think I ate too little for too long, then ate beans, burger, and cheese without anything to cut it for a couple of days, then stopped eating again. Masticated glue, and a large bundle of it. All I'm saying the more.
Shopping yesterday. All the usuals. Milk, butter, and now fruit. Mostly citrus this time. There are some... weird, orange like, fruits that... I tried them several times back. They taste like oranges used to, to my mind. Fantastic. Golden nuggets? Something like that, I think. Fuggly, but tasty. Grapefruit, again. If you don't like grapefruit, you probably have never peeled it then peeled the sections themselves. Divine fruit, at least that way. Still, from time to time, I like the bitter. Keeps my force in alignment, and when I need a sour look, I have a memory to focus the need upon. :p
I forgot to pay for the beef, and hog, too! I just ran out of my mind. The stomach had worn me, the extra effort of being out and about, and I am still running eighteen to twenty two hour days. Brutal, but beautiful. I love it when I, for me, can hit the limits then keep going. Oh, I'll fail. I won't get it all, hit every ball, make every base, succeed on every steal... but I'll play my heart out. And I am. So, today, I need to call, a bit later, to find the best time to bring payment by... today, tomorrow, at his discretion. It's good to have these things done. Oh, and I need to ponder whether another freezer is needed. I am thinking it is. Maybe a stand up this time, even if a lot spendier. Bleh.
Well... Off with their heads! Uhrm, wait. That isn't my line. The mind whirls as I wake. Anywhile. Later, and good day.
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Still a bit rough and tumble.
.
.
No, I didn't get to much yesterday. A good start, then nothing. Though I have cut my "days" in half, they are still very long. Albeit I would rather run long than have three or four micro-days in an actual day. That is... really disorienting. Long days are a serious strain however. It's spring, those are my choices. All or nothing, sometimes. If I can, I will almost always pick all. Lately, that choice has been available, and chosen.
Still, my heart isn't hurting like it was. Those forty eights were really taking a toll. Don't think they would cause death, just discomfort. But great discomfort, more so stacked wall to wall. A good day of sleep in there helps. The longest such trip I have taken, when I was younger, was ten days up. Don't believe the notion that sleep deprivation can kill you. Especially if you have experienced it and learned how to deal with it... both in sickness and health. Not in a few days, it won't kill you, anyway. There is a disease that makes it so people can't get REM sleep, and really no sleep at some point. They slowly go mad, dreaming while awake. Even that takes... a year, years, sometimes longer. They become living poltergeists, lost spirits trapped in flesh. Truly. So, while ten days is... something... different... even that isn't all that special. Just not normal, or normally available for most.
Many of the things I do in life that are... different... aren't so much of a choice, or a decision... only one of several options, often none of them better. Choosing between the fire and the pan may seem easy. However, the fire, while it might hurt more, is over more quickly. Unless you have been there, be cautious with your judgments. It'll hit you right between the eyes, at some point, when you are forced into the same, or a similar, situation.
The beef is in! Well, it's at the butcher. I will meet with some folk today to arrange for the cutting. Could have done it online, but for me, I know nothing. Clan reps who will be sharing out the beef will be there. Whaught? Didn't know Mormons had clans? This Is the Highlands! :p Anyway, should be fun. For me, as best I can tell, I want ribeye, inch and an half... chuck roast, all I can get... almost all other roasts cut to jerky meat, though a roast or steak mix they advise, let's just say I will take their advice... the rest into burger. Though soup bones would be quite good, and any organ meat they might offer.
I will put another load of laundry in. I hope to go shopping after visiting the butcher. And that will be that. But, first, to wake. Good day.
.
No, I didn't get to much yesterday. A good start, then nothing. Though I have cut my "days" in half, they are still very long. Albeit I would rather run long than have three or four micro-days in an actual day. That is... really disorienting. Long days are a serious strain however. It's spring, those are my choices. All or nothing, sometimes. If I can, I will almost always pick all. Lately, that choice has been available, and chosen.
Still, my heart isn't hurting like it was. Those forty eights were really taking a toll. Don't think they would cause death, just discomfort. But great discomfort, more so stacked wall to wall. A good day of sleep in there helps. The longest such trip I have taken, when I was younger, was ten days up. Don't believe the notion that sleep deprivation can kill you. Especially if you have experienced it and learned how to deal with it... both in sickness and health. Not in a few days, it won't kill you, anyway. There is a disease that makes it so people can't get REM sleep, and really no sleep at some point. They slowly go mad, dreaming while awake. Even that takes... a year, years, sometimes longer. They become living poltergeists, lost spirits trapped in flesh. Truly. So, while ten days is... something... different... even that isn't all that special. Just not normal, or normally available for most.
Many of the things I do in life that are... different... aren't so much of a choice, or a decision... only one of several options, often none of them better. Choosing between the fire and the pan may seem easy. However, the fire, while it might hurt more, is over more quickly. Unless you have been there, be cautious with your judgments. It'll hit you right between the eyes, at some point, when you are forced into the same, or a similar, situation.
The beef is in! Well, it's at the butcher. I will meet with some folk today to arrange for the cutting. Could have done it online, but for me, I know nothing. Clan reps who will be sharing out the beef will be there. Whaught? Didn't know Mormons had clans? This Is the Highlands! :p Anyway, should be fun. For me, as best I can tell, I want ribeye, inch and an half... chuck roast, all I can get... almost all other roasts cut to jerky meat, though a roast or steak mix they advise, let's just say I will take their advice... the rest into burger. Though soup bones would be quite good, and any organ meat they might offer.
I will put another load of laundry in. I hope to go shopping after visiting the butcher. And that will be that. But, first, to wake. Good day.
Monday, May 30, 2016
Little sleep, long hours, but better.
.
.
Once I realized I was slipping my mortal coil by slipping past sleep, I exited that gig stage right. Well, as I was able. I'm still riding the wind at a terrible pace. Eighteen hour days are hard on the old bod. The choice, however, is that or three to six hour shifts up and down, neither ever asleep or awake. I'll take the stronger, tea or coffee of life, that is. Keep the mild, milquetoast, numb, bland. I'll die either way:) I'd just rather die screaming, awake, and even if in mechanical error, it is better to die active than to sleep to death. Well, perhaps others would rather go out gently. Not I. Hopefully not too painfully, but even that? I'd rather die roasting than to not even know I died. I certainly hope for a... middle ground... mind you.
Up since 2:00 or 3:00? Wait, no... 5:00, perhaps nigh on 6:00. Almost woke earlier, but I know I need a bit more sleep so forced myself down. Sometimes that works, rarely. It's just that I have been pushing long enough hours so that I am in shape to negotiate.
Today is a holiday, so I can't get in. However, I might get a check out. I will be paying for my first beef this month. I just need to arrange the cuts. Excited. Exciting. I'd like to get a lot of it for jerky, then hamburger, ribeye, and... I don't know? I actually probably should just speak with them, in person. I hate the phone. A shower, too. Maybe to town, a bit of shopping? Yeah, but not quite yet.
I hope you have some small celebration, or a big one. Remembering those from the past and the present. Be well.
.
Once I realized I was slipping my mortal coil by slipping past sleep, I exited that gig stage right. Well, as I was able. I'm still riding the wind at a terrible pace. Eighteen hour days are hard on the old bod. The choice, however, is that or three to six hour shifts up and down, neither ever asleep or awake. I'll take the stronger, tea or coffee of life, that is. Keep the mild, milquetoast, numb, bland. I'll die either way:) I'd just rather die screaming, awake, and even if in mechanical error, it is better to die active than to sleep to death. Well, perhaps others would rather go out gently. Not I. Hopefully not too painfully, but even that? I'd rather die roasting than to not even know I died. I certainly hope for a... middle ground... mind you.
Up since 2:00 or 3:00? Wait, no... 5:00, perhaps nigh on 6:00. Almost woke earlier, but I know I need a bit more sleep so forced myself down. Sometimes that works, rarely. It's just that I have been pushing long enough hours so that I am in shape to negotiate.
Today is a holiday, so I can't get in. However, I might get a check out. I will be paying for my first beef this month. I just need to arrange the cuts. Excited. Exciting. I'd like to get a lot of it for jerky, then hamburger, ribeye, and... I don't know? I actually probably should just speak with them, in person. I hate the phone. A shower, too. Maybe to town, a bit of shopping? Yeah, but not quite yet.
I hope you have some small celebration, or a big one. Remembering those from the past and the present. Be well.
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Sleep should be good.
.
.
Only the dead, the ones you have seen, sleep better. I have been pushing. Though today and yesterday I kept it to about eighteen hours. I think? Anyway. Even that is pushing things. I am doing some work, here and there. I stepped on the pedal... stomped. Now to figure out how to apply the breaks, but not just stop. Then... then how to go at a measured pace. The weather is still fighting me. Dark, cool, and almost June.
.
Only the dead, the ones you have seen, sleep better. I have been pushing. Though today and yesterday I kept it to about eighteen hours. I think? Anyway. Even that is pushing things. I am doing some work, here and there. I stepped on the pedal... stomped. Now to figure out how to apply the breaks, but not just stop. Then... then how to go at a measured pace. The weather is still fighting me. Dark, cool, and almost June.
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