Sleep problems.

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I noticed something tonight when I took my nap. I was able to sleep an hour. After that, I woke up as if an alarm had gone off. I was not troubled, no heart palpitations or such, but I was (or actually felt) hot. My body was cool, even my feet. But I felt as if I was burning up in spite of that. I tried to get back to sleep or even to rest, but I could not. After an hour of that, I just got out of bed and did a few tasks I had been meaning to do and then came to the computer. I was getting a headache trying to get back to sleep, and kept feeling hot. The thermometers say it had neither warmed nor cooled since I started my nap nor since I woke up and during that time I tried to sleep or rest.

I will have to discuss this with my doctor. Maybe it is diabetes creeping back in. But no, this is the way it has been since before I had diabetes. Sometime this morning, I will again be able to sleep, but for 6 to 7 hours. I have tried to sleep a few hours after the nap, but that just ruins my good morning sleep. In Iowa, when I did get my internal clock turned around so that I was awake days and slept at night, it did often interrupt my ability to be as active. Though too, sleeping mornings interrupts how much I can do on any day and is a detriment to school.

One doctor tried sleeping medicine, of various types. And though they did force me to sleep, sometimes, when they would work was never sure and then I would always wake up after 4 hours of sleep, leaving me a bit tired all day. Those simply do not seem to work. Perhaps there is one out there that would work, but I hate changing medicine every 3 months to try and find it while having to suffer through some medicine until my doctor gave up on it, if I had not already. The cure is not in a pill, at least for sleeping. Then again, Ritalin, which has the opposite affect, would often allow me to expend energy so that I was tired and would sleep more naturally. And though I am more active now, it is not to that level of activity. It too, sometimes, had problems of it's own as well.

I will keep at it. Maybe there is a way, with or without pills. This system is good enough for retirement though, and currently, that is what I am. I did hear something the other day that shook me though. I was listening to a program about hospice workers when I was still in Iowa. They discussed what they did, but also the stages of dying. One of the stages was the insistence by the person dying that if they could just get up, they would be fine. I have to wonder if that does not also apply to the severely ill. Perhaps my belief that if I could just 'get up', or 'stay awake', or this or that is merely a coping mechanism.

Yes, dear readers, I have a pragmatic side. And yet, there is always hope. That even people on the death bed have it must mean something. And, to some degree, I have to wonder if some of them are right, if too most often they really cannot get up again. Life seems to be a knock down drag out fight in which most of us will not get out alive. I say most because the bible clearly indicates some will be and have been taken straight up. In the end, the Lord will judge the quick and the dead, or the living and the dead if you prefer. I prefer quick, and it gives a special meaning to quickening. It is a quickening that I am attempting to orchestrate before I begin decomposing. Ha!

I hope this one is short enough. My last few (?dozen?) blog posts have been outrageously long. I am surprised my reader base has not gone on strike! Of course, I would merely fire you and hire scags. :p Good night.