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I could not wake up this day. I thought I heard the doorbell, and the phone a few times before that. I tease you not when I say I could not rise. I did not rise until, perhaps, 16:30 or later. I tried, in my slumber, to roll or cause movement which would help me to shake off sleep but this simply was not possible. As such, I was able to do nothing today.
One of the phone calls, I do believe, was from the VA regarding the dietary clinic I was set to attend today, and missed. The other was from my landlady, saying she would be by with someone to look at the place, to take over the rent potentially. The knock on the door, I can only guess, was her and the potential renter. I am so angry with myself. The phone usually wakes me and gets me going and the call would have given me enough time to prepare for a visit. But on the one day nothing works I may have missed a huge opportunity! I will call her and see tomorrow.
I have to be in Ogden tomorrow, so I am cleaning my apartment a bit tonight. I will also tuck the guns away. I will call, when she is in the office, and let her know she is free to show the place if the man is still interested. That is the best I can do and I can only hope it works out. This would take a huge weight off of my shoulders. As I have said, I can pay two rents, it would just limit my life a bit. I feel like a fool. Every time my body betrays me, I feel this way. But what can be done?
I just read Job. It was certainly not my favorite book to read. It was a grind, especially the first *1,500 pages. I got through it, and yeah, okay, I see the point. But next time, just use hot pokers in my eyes alrighty? I know, I know, it is the bible, the word of God. I know. Hush, you. I did note several things while reading it though. Something that pleased me was that God allowed Satan to test a righteous man, to bring him low, and to all but kill him in order that Job might be tested to show Satan some things. What man comes to God after these things have been done to him? I have. It was not in weakness, despair, or such that I came to God. Neither did I come to God in spite of it. I simply came to God as I was. It is a little thing, but it pleased me. The other thing I noted was that the writing became better, more refined, and easier to read as I went through the book. That form of writing is not exactly my favored. Listening to the babble at the beginning was torturous reading, not only was it off, it was babble! Reading what the young man had to say was better. And of course, God's words were far superior to the rest. So, the book tended to pull me, as a reader, through the text.
I am NOT looking forward to Psalms. I am sure, in Hebrew, or whatever language they were initially written, they were poetic, lyrical, and maybe even a little bouncy, like songs often might be. Then again, maybe not, who knows. But translated into English, they are very dry, with little but the substance to carry them. One leads to the next, they are similar in substance often, and... That is going to be a tough read. But that is what I will do.
I had intended to begin a fast tonight, but then I realized I had fish and meat thawed. The meat does not last long here, not at all, so I suspect fish will go even faster as it often does. I will eat what I have thawed before fasting later this week. Tonight, a whole talapia, which I will wrap in foil and bake, with butter. I am curious about this, I have had fillets before, but not the whole fish. At the market, fillets were $5.99 a pound, the whole fish was $1.99 a pound, so both being frugal at this time and being curious, I went cheap. I hope I do not choke on a bone. Then again, fillets are not always clean, and might surprise you most rudely since you expect a bone less.
After I put the fish in the oven, I best do a few more things to prepare for visitors tomorrow. I truly hate vacuum cleaning, but I think I need to do that. A bit of straightening would not hurt. And just a little cleaning. It really is not that bad, especially for a bachelor. I have been doing much better here, in that way, though it has only been a short time since I moved in too.
Oh, I was thinking about what K9 said, regarding how girls dress now. I think it has something to do with the understanding by males that women are not trustworthy or marriageable, do not provide children and a household, really, and so are sort of not worth the trouble or expense. Girls are having to go all out to get the attention of the boys, in more ways than one. And, of course, we end up getting more of what we do not want. Without a change in the laws, that is the way it will be. Not even an uptick in Christianity will help, as only the most dogmatic will marry for religious reasons. So, the laws have to change to make divorce difficult, and the settlements more equitable when they do occur, or girls (and women) will continue just as she saw them. They have become sex toys or they are ignored. Academics or sluts, it seems.
I used to think men did not change, it was women who have changed. I have decided that is not quite right either. Neither changes, we are what we are, what has changed is the balance. Until there is something in marriage for men, something undoubted and good, something fair, something the law cannot allow to be stripped by a word or the extra-legal (strictly speaking) one sided court system set against men, they will not themselves enjoin in that, and women will be degraded to toys. Women cannot be trusted with their oaths and vows so long as the law allows them every advantage to be untrustworthy. I am not sure I am getting that exactly as I want to but it will work.
Good day, later, good night, who knows! Be well.
*Large numbers, as indicated, in the book of Doom, or pages thereof, may or may not be literal. In historical context, they may be taken to mean greater or lesser readings.
Re: Psalms, you may be surprised. Many of the most inspirational truths are found therein. Many laments that speak to where we are and where our hope may turn are found therein. And several good righteous rants against one's enemies and God's enemies are found therein. If you made it through Numbers and the first part of Job without croaking, you surely ought to enjoy the Psalms.
ReplyDeleteOh really? Yes, I did complete Jobs and did not think Numbers was bad at all. Leviticus was a bit repetitive, regarding law, I think. And, when they talk about "was the son of..., was the son of, was the..." (or begat, depending on which version you read), my eyes often find themselves crossing. That is Good News! Ha!
ReplyDeleteI am still surprised God has not seen fit to slay me just for punish meant. Ha!
You were quite correct. Even with the first 50 being from David, they were not difficult at all to read. I do not care much for David. All his Psalms (or those dedicated through him) are about him more than God.
ReplyDeleteAs well, I strongly suspect that David was gay, bi, whatever. He may have had children, but that means little. His words and actions, and the words of others, make me quite suspicious in any case.
Ultimately you have to square that with whatever aspect of his character that led God to name him a "man after God's own heart".
ReplyDeleteThere is much about David that prefigures the Messiah.
Yeah? And, therein lies the problem. No, not really a problem, simply a solution I did not expect. As I said, in several of the writings about King David, in his youth and later, it is easy to see wherein I come to that conclusion.
ReplyDeleteIn his youth, the brother of Saul, Joah... *cough* ..., takes a 'shine to the lad', when he goes out to fight Goliath. Later it shows a special and secretive bond between the two, when Joha... *cough* suggests he will shoot an arrow near if it is safe, far if David is in danger and should go (and would signal to the "boy" so that David, in hiding will see this). Then I think it suggests Joh... *cough* goes out to meet with David at their secret spot. And, of course, David had a penchant for music (mostly paranoid, or he made a lot of people angry at him all through his life). Oh, and David openly declares he loves Joh... *cough* more than even the love of women. And, again, I think Psalms 69 (go figure), is all butt *sic* (pun intended) a confession.
And no, I do not think God hates people who are gay, but he does hold it as a sin. Perhaps this was saying that the Old Testament was not as hard on gays as we thought, or merely indicating that it is just another sin, no more, no less, though probably not mortal. Too, it might merely suggest that with wealth and success, certain other things slip, more as a social normative decline thing or something. The curse of golden ages, if you will.
In all, I do not have as much of a problem with that, having written that all out and thought about it in the meanwhile. Though, it did really make me stop and think. If I still believe Davids songs, though some of them good, are quite paranoid, self serving, and after about 10 of them, very repetitive. I hope that is fair?
"Until there is something in marriage for men, something undoubted and good, something fair, something the law cannot allow to be stripped by a word or the extra-legal (strictly speaking) one sided court system set against men, they will not themselves enjoin in that, and women will be degraded to toys. Women cannot be trusted with their oaths and vows so long as the law allows them every advantage to be untrustworthy."
ReplyDelete100% correct, too many men have been burnt by marriage and that's discouraging other men from taking that step. I hear so often of men crying on radio because their ex-wives deny them access to their children for years and years and the law does nothing about it. I remember one fellow who hadn't seen his children for 12 years only because the ex-wife kept making up stories and lying to the courts, but he still had to pay child support.
It's beyond disgusting.
It is, in a word, a (inter)national sin against God. God set men up as the Christ of the family. Given that, there can be no doubt, this is evil.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to tell the woman, on your blog, who called me a dhimmi, that she was a feminist far more truly than I could ever be called a dhimmi. The muslims fear me, really, and men like me. They know we are just and powerful and walk with the real God. They know. They disrespect her and her ilk more than even I do. Only in this are my enemies and I agreed. But what they would do to her is far more than simply tell her her place.
What I said can be found in the books of the Old and New Testament, if the muslims stole that (then adulterated it) that has nothing to do with me. But her belief in the equality of women cannot, in any way, be defended by anything other than feelings and that she was even more dhimmi by supporting the destruction of both the birthing in the West (which weakens our defenses) and the support of the further of that destruction.
But, it was your blog. I had already pushed it. And then I even left a last bit. I hope you did not feel that last bit I left on your blog was too rude? I really had to think before I *clicked* "Post".
It may be possible to read such things into the story, but not actually necessary. Because I think it was much more something about David's character, his heart, and his devotion to doing things God's way even when it cost him, that makes him a model of the Messiah to come.
ReplyDeleteDid he in fact "lie with a man as with a woman"? If so, the Law required him to be stoned (IIRC). The scriptures make no mention of this sin, and one would think that if God took the trouble to whack him good and hard for his treachery with Uzziah, he would have also whacked him equally as hard for his violation of the Law.
Did he have a bisexual orientation? Possibly--one could make the case based upon the inferences you note. But I suspect that he did not act upon it, knowing the strictures of the Law. Else why was he not condemned as harshly as with his treachery with Uzziah? This sin cost him two of his sons (at least IIRC), the kingdom itself briefly when he abdicated, and ultimately set up the divisions within his own family and ruling authority that led to the loss of the northern kingdom after the death of his son Solomon. Pretty harsh for just taking a hankering to a dude's wife and arranging for him to die in battle so he could have his wife (Bathsheba). At least when compared to the sin of buttpiracy as laid down in the Law. One would have to believe that God takes adultery a whole lot more seriously than homosexuality. I don't believe it. Both seem to be equally abhorrent before him.