A funny thing.

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I have read, for perhaps the 5th time in the last few days, about how to "get mom wired", or "what tech gadgets mom would love", or other such things. Oh, sure, my mom has a laptop and cellphone. But she would be as interested in a tech gadget or another way to communicate as much as Sam likes baths. To clarify, Sam is darned near dangerous when her, water, and me all get within about seven feet of the water. She becomes increasingly dangerous to the point where I no longer try to make that unholy threesome work the closer we get to water. No, nothing high tech. The highest tech she would appreciate is a phone call or a card. Mostly what she wants is even lower tech, back to man's roots.

I am sure there are many women out there who want the next I-Pad, "smart" phone, or tech service. Assuming, usually, that someone else sets it up. Oh, I am sure too, there are a few women who have been shown enough times that they can almost set devices up, at least enough to do what they want and disregarding security, not including dealing with tech troubles, or assuming they have an engineering degree (even then I have doubts). But do these women want tech gadgets over cards, candy, jewelry, and money? Who knows, perhaps I have lost track of all this. If it is true, it is a sad time to live.

If my mother has her problems, it is nice to know she is just a woman in this regard. The card, as usual, will be late. I have known far enough ahead to buy a card but I have been too ill to get to all that I wanted done (it was on time last year, I think). A little money will go as well. Late as well, of course. Then again, is money ever late if it is only a week off and a surprise gift? A phone call, too, will be issued, but on time. And statements of familial gratitude and soft mushy stuff I haven't liked since third grade will be spewed, like the poetry I was required to memorize and spew in front of class. Even if I liked, or loved, the teacher, this was and remains a test of my nerves. Still, that it bothers me to do and that I do it anyway beats any other thing I could give or say. No card says it as well because of the clumsiness of my spewing. No money is as good as a near grovel toward duty, so indirectly to her. Nope, being a foolish man/boy for the sake of her ego gets it every time. Plus, it saves me $300 to $700 on some laptop or something. hahaha

Now good night.