At almost 11:00...

.
.
Not even noon and I am crashing hard. I am not sure if anything will help me stay awake. You know that feeling you get, when your hands feel like balloons, because you are in pain? Well, no pain, just the feeling. My guess is that it hurts, I just can't feel it. Seriously. In the last three weeks I have scraped off chunks of skin. One, after we rearranged my bedroom and the raw ends of the bed, where the endboard is supposed to attach, caught me good. It tore a chunk of skin down to the meat off my shin, larger than a silver dollar. It also ripped a seven inch gash on my foot. Then, recently, I ripped a dime sized chunk off my right index finger. Oddly, messing with the microwave. The door did it as my left hand was shutting the door and my right hand didn't know in time. That door took off a good chunk of skin, again to the meat. No pain. I just don't feel pain. I can tell by other means that I am in pain, and one of those is the feeling that my hands are swollen. Something to do with dissociation I suppose. On the good side, my foot and shin have healed completely. Not bad for a diabetic with advanced heart failure. *grins*

I can't make it in today, obviously. At times like these, I really wonder if I am dying. I doubt it. I have gone through these things before and come through fine. In the past I would lose all track of what is going on. Now, doing better, at least if I limit medication, I know what is happening but can do nothing about it. It is getting better. I think. But gee is this a pain. Can't work, can't eat, can't even play. Sucks. Ah well, time will get me through this.

I best go to bed. Before it hurts bad enough that I really can feel it. Good... night...