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Having burned through women, most of them who seem to have been around for just that, I have come to notice there are women out there worth having. Now, most of these women are owned. Fair enough. But it does leave me with the notion that there might be one out there who has not been taken. I have indulged in the physical fruits of a relationship with one of these creatures. I have even played house a few times, rather successfully. The she in those scenes just wasn't the right one. So I know of the other fruits of having a woman. I have even thought about what I need and want from a woman.
Sure, I would love to play the father in Father Knows Best, and have my own little wife and children. Truth is, as we all learned, there is no such thing. While you might create the appearance of such a family, and even the reality of it for the most part, the truth is that family life is hard work.
And what of women? Most, today, believe they are equal partners. Many believe they are full on equal to their men, or better. While men have sweated, grunted, groaned, and died making a world in which women in the modern parts of the world enjoy an easy life, while doors are opened, thermometers are set to women's needs, mechanical devices are constructed to make their lives simple, and everything is good, they forget just what did and does keep them warm and comfy. And they reject any notion that they could be at fault, any fault. So divorce looms large over any proposal, writ large is the truth that the family (circus) court is happy to destroy a marriage and a man at the whim of feckless women. And, no, religion doesn't play that large of a role in marriage anymore. Catholics, for example, the typical ones, are just as likely to divorce as any other group. Still...
This woman sings it well. She gets what I... enjoy in or about women, expressed how a woman would express it though, mind you.
I think she covers it in those songs. I suppose I could try to write it out, but why, when she invokes the notions viscerally, the way women understand things? Sometimes even men understand, I can, do in this case. Besides, if a picture is worth a thousand words, how much more a video with vocals? No, this will do.
To me it sucks less to be married than it would to be alone.
ReplyDeleteThere is little room for a man to be sentimental in marriage though.
I suppose in an ideal scene, all of that will be expressed through her, and you can look at that and be satisfied that it is covered.
My lunch date brought up the topic of men "getting in touch with their feminine side" near the end of our date last time. It was a discussion she was having with her daughter. Just touched on the topic, but I get the feeling she looks at it with scorn. She is very conservative and traditional. (Shocking, I know, heh, *ahem*, *buffs nails*).
But to the point, for the kind of woman you seem to be seeking, the expressions within the relationship will need to reflect more the extreme poles of the masculine/feminine archetype.
Having found such a woman, it will require you to play the role of Father Knows Best impeccably, without flinching, without giving in to the feminine, the yin. Anything less than the embodiment of yang will cause her confusion, and will in time lead to contempt and the hell of divorce.
But you know this, of course. That was and is an ongoing lesson for me, having been maleducated on the topic back in the 70's.
Again in the ideal, the feminine in man is expressed through relationship to Christ, and the masculine in woman is expressed through her diligent management of the affairs of her household.
ReplyDeleteYou can get in touch with your femininity in a relationship with a woman like what is shown. You just do it and tell her to shut up, sort of. I have never known a woman who likes it when a man "encroaches on their territory", emotionally or otherwise, despite their constant assault (if failure) to enter the masculine (Hah!). But if you maintain your mastery of her, you can go there. I am someone who would know. Things have changed since then, but understand, I have been with women nearly the whole time of my previous notions.
ReplyDeleteIt is weird, but every woman I have ever known, no matter how liberal she believed herself to be, in personal relationships, was quite conservative. Everyone else can do that, but NOT us. heh Oh, women can be coaxed into just about anything. But to my tastes, after trying various things, I think I would like to find one who is rather conservative on these matters, hasn't been adulterated by the world already, then keep her there. Remember one thing about women, rules are for their keeping other people in check, not something they will abide. I don't think they can.
I play so far past the 'father knows best' model, masculine wise, that I have room to be sentimental when I choose. From observations of the more normal parts of relationships. Besides, I have never seen in my own, or any other, a relationship where it is perfectly one sided with regard to who is the gender actor. But, yeah, it is either constant masculinity or beyond the pale masculinity that is required to keep the hen from eloping with her passions and finding a new roost or rooster. Which explains the high divorce rate. heh
I sort of like the idea you represent at the last. I will have to think on it. I know being a party of the bride of Christ is, was, and always will be a bit... twitch inducing. If it is also the truth. The Church IS the feminine. Which is why I find great ire with women who want it to be MORE feminine. Men have left the additional feminization of the Church in droves.
Unfortunately divorce is something that's never far away in marriage these days. People these days simply don't take the time to make sure that first of all they really want marriage, second that they really, really love the person they intend to marry.
ReplyDeleteA bad side-effect of the ease with which people can get divorced these days is that because of this, people aren't as careful as they should be when going into a marriage.
Then come the children, they who pay the most when a marriage falls apart.
And if you believe the statistics, which I do, 70 to 90 percent of divorces are formulated by women, and rarely for 'good cause' (such as abuse, drug or alcohol addictions, or such). Mostly just because it has become boring, or they feel the need to "find themselves".
ReplyDeleteI would love to say I hope to do everything right, but I know that even that is no guarantee. One thing on my side? It would be very difficult for her to take anything but her clothes. My guess is if you made divorce so that a woman could only take what she brought into the marriage, and what she has made during the marriage, divorces would end tomorrow.