Nice.

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Each day I become stronger. I can't abide the doctors. Their leechcraft would have me crawling on all fours like a beast. I have no wizard, ranger, or paladin, or goodly thief, kings, or princes on my side. I must do what I must. Actually, I am thankful, at this time, not to have a wife. She would help them poison me. Such is the way and intellect of women often. It allows them a freedom from the prison of a man, so they are willing to abide his fall for their gain. No, I will grip my sword and keep it handy. If it kills me I will die free.

After the sucesses, and easy successes, yesterday, today is a fresh start. I didn't end up sleeping until 23:30 or so. The laundry was finished. Today I woke at, roughly 3:30 to 4:30. I wasn't sure I really wanted to roll out but it was time(tm). I took my meds, the dose I can tolerate. I then brushed my teeth. And not wanting to be further frozen in the things of the past, I dressed warmly, turned the heat up a bit, brushed my teeth, and sit considering the gift of this new day.

I will be searching for my shoe polish kit shortly. Barring that, a quick trip to town is in the offing. I will have my shoes polished today, before noon. I will also look over my clothing. I do believe I have some dress cords and a shirt or two from which to choose. I didn't attend shopping yesterday, it was too much of a stretch, with another stop, selection, toting the goods and putting them away. It was too much more to ask from what I had available. The goal is confession, then mass, later today. My other goal, after researching the pistol at the store, is to check on it and see if they will put it up until payday. A post-dated check might convince them, perhaps with a small cash set-aside fee, if that is legal. There are those who disrespect Taurus, and on some cases rightly. But this pistol has been around for a bit and has some solid credentials and fans, it has been vetted. As with all guns, there are going to be bad ones. But I don't hear the furor of a lemon on this one. Further, with the deal, it comes in at well under the competition and has everything I wanted plus an extra chamber. For those who might be interested, HKS also makes a speedloader for it. So, those are my little tasks this day. Oh, and dishes and finishing laundry, as the last bits of my hope for this new day.

I can't wait for the sun to arrive. It won't happen for a bit. I may call my brother today, later, and see what he is doing... No, I think I will wait until Monday. I don't wish to... disturb his family life. Part of our problem in the past has been his wife, to my thinking (which he denies). And perhaps it wasn't her, but his... notion of what she would want (wrongly or not). So I don't want to cause there to be enmity there, or again, or such. Until the relationship is stronger and I understand more, it is best to keep it as uncomplicated as possible. Oh, yes, I see much. Perhaps too much?

I seem to have Lord of the Rings on the mind this morning. It actually isn't so much the movie as it was the general notion of kings, treachery, war, and politics. Dreams of kings and queens and guillotines last night, heavy and deep dreams. I love those deep, pseudo historical dreams. I just wish I could remember more. The dreams just seem to go with Lord of the Rings, it being so king rich and wrought with intrigue and such. Have you ever noticed that kings, emperors, dictators, and the like allow for zero-point projections of power, things by which power may more easily be studied, good only in theory, or for theory, but lousy in reality? Just a thought. While I do believe in a King, that King is not of the realm of failure and flesh. Never mind.

Yep, up, at it, brushed and medicated to a reasonable point, and... waking to get going on the rest of my plans. I didn't want to suggest it yesterday in case this morning I woke all broken up and such. I can't know, quite yet, what any particular day will bring in this brave new world I am negotiating. All I can say is that my slight depreciation of dose, very against my doctor's will, has elevated my status and opened a window to the world probably only limited by my endurance. And my endurance will grow so long as I hold onto hope, and yet forge ahead as well. As I am no simple sheep politically, medically, or religiously, or in any other way, there is some real hope, if to the cost of doing(tm). It is time.

Good day.