Ah, that might explain some things.

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No, no, make your own sense of things.  I'm just figuring out this and that myself.  The right tools help.

I couldn't sleep.  Oh, I stole this from Hot Air. Who... stole it from Youtube? :p

I'll be trying to stay up today.  As if I have a choice.  It is to be an easy day.  While most pain is gone, or seems to be right this second, sitting down, my legs are stiff as boards and my ability to do the hoolahoop is dreadfully infringed.  Not that I would actually do the hoolahoop, just... work with me.  Hmm, I'm not sure if boys or men can do it?  Isn't it a girl thing anyway?  Yeah, but I can palm a basketball and could double hand slam dunk one too, uhrm, back when, so there!

Later.

Update:
As I review what tools I have to regarding woman, a wife, and get that going, I keep bumping into a few realities.  I pretty much am what I am.  The Holy Spirit won't change that.  Some parts of what I am are exactly what a man is supposed to be.  It is finding the right woman to begin with, then... slowing things down to set the hook.  Not in her, in me.  That is where the Holy Spirit can be of guidance.

I also note that alpha behavior is lampooned or selected as the bad guy, as noted in the vid.  Is it any wonder men are conflicted?  I certainly am.  If you are going to make the solid qualities of masculinity into the evil of the world, is it any wonder why men of such qualities just go with it and do "bad things"?  Especially as well rewarded as that behavior seems to be.  I am understanding some of my confusion now.  There are aspects that I won't get, ever.  There are things I think I can work out a bit.  It isn't psychology, as in the pseudo-science, but engineering psychology, what really works and what doesn't, something the charlatans know little regarding.  There IS a right way, and a lot of wrong ways.  And there is still a little wriggle room for being a bad boy in a good way.  What woman would not want her man to be at least a little incorrigible?  I'm still frozen, not working on women too much, until I get some things clarified.  I do tend to stall things, when unsure.  STOP!

Then again, if I see the right woman... or the right things happen...  I just need to remember to slow it down.  Check her paperwork and pedigree.  The pull of the hunt is something intense, though, isn't it?  All men know what the call of the hunt is, it is no different than the hound dogs on the trail.  We can run ourselves to death if our pray is beyond our abilities and we don't take care.  Tricky foxes...