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Well, yes. But not in the Mathews-Zero way. I slept well! I went to bed a bit past... midnight (or something, I just cannot recall exactly). I set an alarm for 5:00 and one for 6:00. Setting them each an hour later just didn't seem like it would work, assuming (at that point) that I could even sleep. I laid down, said a relatively short prayer, and then even 'thought' to God as the hammer was coming down. Then I just rested a second and... *Bzzzz!* I woke with the memory of three dreams. As I hastened to shut off that first alarm, then use the facilities then hie back to bed, since I didn't peg the dream memories into concrete thought, they got lost. Sometimes I can't hold onto them no matter what I do, other times if I think about them a bit first then I can keep all or most of them. An hour later, of course, the second alarm went off. Not yet! My mind whimpered. Fine. I set the alarm back an half hour since an hour would be too much and the snooze absolutely SUCKS. Five minutes? I'm an addict, don't tease. In there somewhere, something came to me.
I wrote, before, that I had made almost anyone in the valley who knows me well enough, atheist, agnostic, Catholic, LDS, and women (who have their own religion I think? :p) angry enough to consider ending my wretched life. I wrote that there was a bit of respect that kept them from doing so. I got the feeling that that wasn't true. It was simply something between not wanting to go to jail and letting me suffer. Heh. Oh, I don't mind. I just... thought it was funny. I wanted to correct my mistake. Just a feeling but it is there. Why I would wake to that thought I don't know. Someone(s) must be thinking of me. I can hear you NOW. *chuckles*
I am well pleased that I won't have to suffer through this day of mild effort as much as I had thought. The sleep was short but wonderful. Having had no sleep was going to be the hard part, not the work or such. I can't say I deserve the sleep, like the blisters. I can only say that God seems to bless those, at times, who attempt to do what He has set before them. Sometimes there is nothing to do but suffer. And I would have done that too, gladly really. Not this time. And while I would have suffered, it is good, some days, to get that particular cross lifted from my shoulders, pathetically small as that cross is in the scheme of things. Now the upper back of my legs are stiff as boards, but, oddly, don't actually hurt (yet?). No other pains persist from picking and shoveling and the rest. A few Anacin and I should be right as rain in case pain arrives as my brain fires up. Medicine went down the hatch too, that's... four days on that. If I think I have time I might check my bp.
I need to polish my shoes, shower, and dress, then drive to Church. Technically I have an hour and a half. Ugh but time flies. An half hour already gone and that was just... feeding the cats, writing this blog, letting Sam out for a bit, and... what else? Never mind. I better set the timer for an half hour so I am aware of things. Just to feel out where I am and such. I am totally blind when it comes to time. I want to be heading out between 8:00 and 8:30, I just... I do have real things to do and only one speed currently.
Good day.
I wonder if you may be over-thinking things a bit. I've noticed you get your knickers in a bit of a knot over stuff I've said, and I've meant nothing near so severe as you've made it out to be.
ReplyDeleteIOW, relax. I'm pretty sure people don't want you dead or in jail to quite that extent.
Of course I take things out of context and all pretense of realistic notion, sometimes accidentally, sometimes quite on purpose, and in many ways (say to make an extreme point to hint at what I mean on something). This is partially one of those. When you don't want to point fingers, and perhaps there were misunderstandings that might have led to that... In this case it is lending cover, blurring things, to hide identities.
ReplyDeleteWith you it can sometimes be difficult for me to know, but face to face? Oh, no, I promise. If charges could have been quietly leveled to get me hung, drawn and quartered, and beheaded? Maybe. The heat from that anger is still with me, from several interactions with a number of folk. Well, even here I could be exaggerating a bit. But... Oh yeah. If you had been a fly on the wall your wings would have been scorched.
Did you know a "talented executioner" could often do all three of those without killing the "client" until the final act back when? I can't remember the "proper sequence", just... an interesting thing to note.