B.S. testing and analysis.

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Oh, not b.s. as in bachelor of science, by the way.

Sitting here thinking about recent events, discussions, posts written, and life in general, I blushed about some of the things I have stated.  Some of it because it was true and might ought to have not been expressed, or at least in the way it was communicated.  Sometimes because I question the, urhm, absolute validity of the material as expressed.  Oh, you... didn't notice?  Hushemup.

Now, I know, I am not the only man on the planet who does any of that, and more as that just covers some of the bragging, stretching, and even outright fabrication that can go on.  My deal is that I express things more often than most guys.  I talk and write a goodly deal.  So, that nature of man ends up being... rather well covered here.  I don't mind.  Put two hunters or fishermen in the same room for a bit, if you want to ramp it up add in a six pack of beer and... you will hear some amazing stories.  Some of what was hunted or caught, if... not officially recorded.  And some of what got away or was released or allowed to live out of the goodness of a man's heart.  *grins*

First thing, while the story telling can end up with a heaping helping of b.s., it usually isn't based on whole cloth.  True, a fisherman probably never caught a 30 pound German Brown, or took an 18 point buck.  It could be, but it might just be a stretch.  The thing is the man probably did catch a large fish or hunted a rather goodly sized buck.  There usually is something to the smoke, sometimes even the truth.

Another issue is that, while a man might have done those things exactly or thereabouts, it doesn't mean he would necessarily run right out and do those things again.  If he said he fought four guys and won, and even if he did, it doesn't mean he wants to go out and relive the "glory".  At the time he was simply trying to survive, literally if what he is saying is true.  That part... doesn't always make the editor's cut.  Same goes for dealing with women.  The more women you have been involved with, should you try to come clean in life, the more difficult it is to deal with even one woman.  It's easy to... revert to bad habits, regarding women.

The other thing I noticed is that, when people realize you are indeed what you are, they wonder why you don't act like you did.  If he is such a womanizer, and catcher of women, why does he just... sit there?  If he is such a fighter, why isn't he out looking for trouble.  I covered the why, this is more about social expectation.  Some guys live vicariously off the backs of wretches.  I have been a wretch, of sorts, if just as often accidentally or incidentally.  I don't wish to continue being so.  I will say this though, if you see me in such a situation, you probably will realize that my stories aren't all stretch and no truth.  You might even realize that my stretching is rather light, when it does occur.  Still, that isn't to say I don't say things in a rude or direct way.  And I might stretch a tad on this or that.  But mostly, if I stretch, it is to make it look like what I did I absolutely meant to do and had no fear while doing it, or such.

On another subject, reading a blog about alphas, I noticed that the "code of alpha" was to remain calm.  To back things off or up if the wrong tone is presented.  Now, while I seemingly do that, and very well, on the inside?  No, I might be shaking in my boots, I just don't (apparently) seem to show it.  That does keep things in my court.  Despite, in truth, often having no idea what something "being in my court" means or how to use it.  I just muddle through.  I can buy time with a stone cold face, that doesn't mean I know what to do.  Which does make me question whether I am alpha or just a look-alike through trial and error, or even, like wise men who are said to be wise merely by not saying anything... I just get a rap for an absence of presence?

I realize that my size is part of why I try not to express feelings visually.  When someone my size even scrunches his face a bit...  I've seen women cry at a slight facial expression of disapproval. *grins*  I sort of have to be careful.  Oh, when I am truly angry, people duck.  Unless they were intending to fight anyway, though a good grimace has changed minds.  I wonder how much size has to deal with the perception of being alpha?  I am enough outside of the normal size to be considered different, size wise.  Not just big, but huge, really.  If not quite, or just barely depending on your thoughts, a giant.

So, there you go.  I have no idea if any of it is true, but that's my take.  More questions than answers, but that is what I do.

The aspirin has helped a great deal.  I don't hurt nearly as much, if stiffness remains.  A bit more goofing then on to a bit of work.  Laundry, cleaning the toilets, and setting up the extra bed is all I have planned.  If I can do more I will.  Maybe being awake yesterday might help me get back to a day schedule.  I will try to get to bed earlier, too, if at all possible.  Supper arrived today and took me a bit by surprise.  I, somehow, was thinking it was still Sunday and I had just gotten supper.  Working during a normal sleep schedule really makes things fuzzy sometimes.  Too funny.  Later.