A few thoughs.

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I keep seeing or hearing about guys having troubles with women.  And, while that will always be the case, I think some of the problems are not about women at all.  One fellow complained that women were too picky.  He could meet, and date, and even bed, women, beautiful women.  But he couldn't seem to keep them.  His one example, that I saw, was that he was checked off the list for not being an ice skater.  Really, guy?  Ice skating?  And you believed her?  Really?  Look, in this case, the guy was dealing with women who enjoyed the romance, the sex to whatever degree, and the breaking up after.  Don't sleep with a woman if you are looking for a long term thing.  I also think he has some real issues that have nothing to do with women being picky.  Seriously, ice skating?  I knew that way back, if there were a few times I squirreled my way around that.  It was part and parcel, it was built into what I was doing, it was part of the schtick.  Some guys just don't get it.  Sure, it can, and has, worked out.  But I think things have changed, even in my time.  There is a whole subset of 'dating' women out there.  I call them Maggy Mays, whatever their age.  They are distractions, and destructive for men who want a family.  But it is the man's choice, it's not like he is getting raped and dumped or something.  Grow a pair and man up or accept the consequences.  Or lie to yourself, but don't expect me to believe it, or offer you any sympathy whatsoever.

The other problem I see with guys is the want of not a woman, but all of them.  Perhaps not literally, but many guys want to have women just be available, any woman, any time.  It never works that way, ever, for anyone.  Politicians, movie stars, rich guys, mobsters, no one has that key or access.  The closest you could get would be to become a drug dealer.  Addicts are, pretty much, available in exchange for their preferred poison.  If those are women you would, if you weren't in a wretched "trade", never consider speaking with on a social basis, let alone sleeping with.  That is it.  Everyone else, like with money, fame, power, or simply having a good simple humble life has to work for a woman's attention.  There are shortcuts, which usually don't pan out.  Yeah, that seven, or twelve, or twenty year itch really is a bother, too, I am... almost certain.  But having to dance the same tired dance, over and over, to diminishing returns, is more of a bother.  Finding a good woman, in the first place, as you get older, is even trickier.  If you have a nag, keep her.  If you don't, like me, shut up and get busy.  Although, some learning at any age isn't bad to... improve the quality of the relationship.

Today has been slow and rough.  I did get some food down, and that did help.  But dishes just backed up a bit more and I can't seem to get to them.  Nothing else happened, either.  Tired.  I am going to try to shove something through tomorrow, in the hopes it will ramp me for Monday and Mass and swimming.  I have no idea how to dig out, never do, so it is just trial and error, as usual.

Well, there is one thing that continues.  I continue to read.  I have finally started to attempt to not pronounce the words while I am reading.  That was a bit of a trick at first, but seems almost second nature now... almost.  Now, this does speed up reading, but it can also cause one to stumble, especially the way the book I am reading was written and the use of obscure or technical wording or grammar.  There is a trick to speed reading, I am working on the first part of it.  Another trick is, even when those things are accounted for, one can read themselves right past understanding.  At least here at the beginning.  I can definitely, now, read faster than I can understand some material even when I get the words.  So, finding the right pace until my mind can focus fast enough is just a trial and error thing.  It will take time.  But what better place to begin speed reading training then on a thick dense book?  The rest should be... simpler.

The section I am covering, currently, regards prayer and various aspects of it.  From praying to saints to who should pray, even various bits on how, or how best, to pray.  Most of this is rather known to me, in the basics.  Within Catholicism, for example, while we don't pray TO saints, we do pray that they pray for us to God.  We request their intercession on our behalf.  I would, in militaristic terms, call saints... prayer multipliers.  They have no means of intercession, directly, themselves, but they can add to the volume of our prayers.  What I am enjoying, a bit, is seeing the doubts on these things and how they are dealt with.

Remember, St. Thomas lived from 1225(?) to 1274.  That is right between the life of Christ and our time, give or take.  Upon his work, and a few of the other early saints, much of my Church has been built.  I would even guess some, possibly much, of Protestantism uses him as a root.  I think here, when I say Church, I mean what we call the Magisterium, separate in a way from the building and the people, of cloth or otherwise, and yet inextricably a part of those things and people, too.  Some might equate the Magisterium to tradition, and that would be close enough generally, I think.  Most of this information, in some way or another, I have found elsewhere, if this book and this author are actual roots.  Long before I was Catholic I must have read St. Thomas or non-Catholic writers who used his material.  I know aspects of it are covered in the Catholic catechism, too.  I am somewhat amazed to be mostly tracking though, and with a decent understanding of why, even having suggested some of the why-nots when... debating the Church and God before accepting.  The esoteric arguments, well, I wouldn't expect to track.  And, sometimes I just disagreed and came up with reasons, to stay more engaged and to play the devil's advocate, than because I honestly thought differently.  (By the way, when I suggested St. Augustine seemed to track better when I disagreed, understand that St. Augustine probably didn't disagree... often the seeming discrepancy was due to an incomplete reading of something he wrote or said or a misunderstanding of his work, which St. Thomas went on to cover.  So, it wasn't a saint war.)

I am a little past halfway through the book.  Will I know more?  Yes, I think I will.  For my person.  Will I remember much of it?  More that I will have my beliefs bolstered, some possibly changed, I think, than that I will be able to do a Vatican or even collegiate debate on such issues.  More, hopefully I will be better prepared to tackle the whole of Summa Theologica, though.  Hey, it's been on my book list for... a very long time.  Then to some of St. Augustine's works, and then to Papal papers, books, and such.  I have heard Humanae Vitae is worth the read, and Pope Benedict XVI has interesting material out.  Plus some particular Papal Papers are of particular interest, through the ages.  One could get lost in that bookstore.

Of course, other reading will be interspersed.  I am not fit to be a monk, let alone a priest.  And, really, my studies are somewhat selfish.  Though is curiosity about God truly selfish?  Hmm, I guess I will take that back.  Still, my function of it is limited.  Reading these materials is more akin to praying than to... merely reading as other books or manuals might be.  And, I suppose, the bible is probably more to be read, though it is usually the bible being discussed, and used to make fine points, so...  Anyway.

Bedtime, I do believe.  At least I will give it a shot.  Good night.