A bit annoying.

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I have finally gotten to where life is... well... it isn't bad.  I don't feel like I am going to tip too far into the bad, if I won't be drifting into the good anytime soon either.  A solid bleh.  Trust me, right now, that is good enough.  When you sense that you are hanging on for dread life, and that stays for a long time, even if you don't fall into the boiling oil or drift off into nomans' land, just holding on becomes a terrible strain.  So, not having to hold on so tightly, even if not able to dig more deeply into the apple that can be life... at least for a while, that is good enough.

Some good and bad things though.  I am finally able to truly wear my 38 waste jeans.  When I moved here I was pushing size 46.  My real goal is 34, my best was 31 waste.  I am 2/3rds the way to my goal.  That's the good.  I think.  The bad?  I can't seem to drink enough.  Water, milk, coffee, juice, sugar-free punch, doesn't matter.  It seems like I am dying of thirst.  I have to drink, at the very least, a gallon and an half a day.  Though I would guess I am hitting more like two to three gallons a day.  It's not dehydration.  As I have mentioned.  I have fixes for that which aren't working.  It's almost an obsessive-compulsive thing, though not of a psychological nature.  Something in my body has a need, or sends the impulse as if it did.  It's a biological issue.  Thankfully, so long as I keep up on the water pill, and the rest, I am usually able to stay dry in the body.  No serious swelling, though sometimes a sense of fullness... but just occasionally.  I have been on full doses of insulin for just three days.  And, insulin along with the water pill, at least for me, both tend to manage the waterworks.  Perhaps, after a bit, this crushing desire for fluid will relent.

Hunger, too, is an odd thing.  As I said, it is rare for me to have hunger.  And yet, when eating, or more eating and drinking, I don't have a very good limit.  I can almost happily, sometimes, eat just a bit.  Or I can consume large amounts.  It is a very strange thing.  And, yes, this is unusual.  The last few years, when I kept up on medicine, as I have been able to remember and focus (even if not always to physical action mind you), I have been normalizing with food, and to a degree drink.  These, both of these, are out of whack.  At least I am aware.  Not sure if there is much to do, probably just getting back on medicine rightly.  That's it.

Dreams of women.  Oh, yeah, I do give them razz.  Seriously.  And razz they quite deserve, and more often than not, desire.  Right up until they don't.  Razzleberries are actually a little sister's best friend.  It means she is worth the risk.  Dreams, daydreams, and thoughts.  Not so much sexual.  While sex is a wonderful thing, it's really only a part of what a woman offers (at least to a man).  Mostly my thoughts have been about the companionship, the help both ways, the different things we bring to the relationship.  A good woman is truly worth her weight in gold, and then some really.  Eternal gold, the coin of the realm of truth, that is what her weight is in.  And, as is God's way, we, if we are right men, can clarify that gold to it's purest form.  Each a part and value and use.  Fine thoughts, they have been, quite fine.

Hmm...  It's a bit late.  Still, I might take a shower and make a run to town.  Nothing fancy.  Perhaps a stop for a blood glucose tester, since I simply haven't been able to find mine.  I really have looked, I gave it as long as I could.  It just didn't show up as it usually does.  Gah!  Well, that and something to eat.  Yeah.

I have been enjoying Castlevania: Lords of Shadows 1, anyway.  The dlc (download content... an addition to the game) hasn't been so great.  Mostly puzzles without any real way to solve them.  I don't mind puzzles.  I just don't care for, essentially, rubics cubes.  Oh, you had a friend who could do those well?  No you didn't.  You had someone who practiced from a cheat sheet.  You can't solve a rubics cube, or create the solution, on your own.  Now, are all these puzzles at that level?  No, but they don't need to be.  At a thousandth, or even millionth, the difficulty, they are still outside the pleasure range for even genius level folk.  There are two dlc's for this first part, not sure how the next will be.  Glad I didn't fork out the original costs.  For the game it was, say, $70 new.  And the dlc's were $15 each.  Plus I got the next game in the series, so another $70, and maybe a dlc package for that.  But without a third dlc, that is $170, and for waiting I bought it all for $15?  Something like that.  And it is just as good.  Most new games just aren't worth the extra.  And if they are good, will be just as good in two or three years.  So few games are worth it, that until they are $15, I don't even care to buy... maybe $30 if I knew and liked the franchise.

Well... later.