.
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I feel a lot better this morning. It doesn't make sense. I don't have much drive, but I don't have anything in the fore or background that nags, bights, hurts, or confuses. I'm almost feeling a bit feisty, or ornery, in the better ways? Not up to fighting speed on that, mind you. Enough to spit out a lolling chuckle at you or even me, perhaps. Nothing fancy, just enough to begin a fine small row. You eightball!
I know I dreamed, just not what. Some dark, but turned out well. Mostly things like remembering home cooking and the comforts of home. Well... a non-bachelor home. Women can create that, but they have to be defended in doing so, supported. Men have no natural drive to it. I am sort of stuck with it, but don't do it well even so. It's not natural to me. Though I think, even for women, it has to be taught and then chosen. Which requires a mate who demands it and a goodly bit of learning. Learning contrary to what is found in colleges. I don't think I have ever had a male friend who can honestly take care like that. Maid services, wives, or they live like me. Intent means nothing. Anyway, it was mostly good dreams, the little I can recall.
I don't take it as an omen, it just happens to be good when waking and dreaming life are all on the better side of things. A break, so that if tomorrow is tough again, I can bear down a bit better and carry on through. Life isn't horrible, just lately. I, or someone else, tinkers with one thing, and I will suffer. I can figure out how to live without this or that, or probably even all of it. That time is approaching, actually. It's just better for me to climb down from dosages in a more controlled manner, or at least on the big medicines. Yes, the time is coming.
It sure feels life fall. Leaves are beginning to fall. It is overcast in that particular fall way. Is it that the angle of the sun adds to the depth of shadow, or weakness of felt sun even in the overcast? Something in there. Fall, as spring, are among my favorite bits. Winter for it's own, and different, reasons is also a favorite. Summer? Not so much, but so vital I try not to fuss. Though this summer was as good as it gets. I just wish I had been more able to get out. Then again, as I suggested, most of the western world considers 85(ish) F weather to be a heatwave. So into the mid 90's and above is just not a reasonable temp to be getting out. Even for the young that is a stretch. Even with scattered cool days, it was just too much. I honestly think a whole-house ac might make that more doable though. Just target the outings and have a cool home waiting. I'm sure thinking about it. It would add to sale value, a bit anyway.
On to my day. I won't be playing the one game I went on to try. Another Castlevania continuation, but a 2-d cartoon platform type. Just... not quite my style. It's so... 1980's! Bleh. I can't believe they made the second game AFTER the first. It would be like building a '57 Chevy to then go on and building a model T! No wonder game builders can be hated. Though the dlc for the first game was junk. Stupid hard with no real play value. I think the only reason it was played was the hunger for something like that first game, then being trapped by the (initial) expense of the dlc components. They HAD to play the money off. Even kids understand. Well, that, and because they blew there money on that, they didn't have it for something else. I just wish there was a way to hold game makers responsible for their goods. As is they get away with murder.
Hmm... I ought to get back to reading as well. I like reading again, just lost track in illness. If I fear there isn't much content for good sci-fi, even with Castillia House churning them out. At the pace I read, or can read... I fear not having books in a while. Oh, and as I get going, I may go back to real books. While ebooks have their place, they require an ereader. I may be getting rid of mine, by getting rid of my smartphone pretty soon. I am not sure I want to buy a replacement. Then again, two months without the smart phone will see me to enough savings to buy a very good kindle. Actually, I'd probably go with a 10" fire tablet. Which would be about the same price as two months smartphone bill, including peripherals, minus the cost for some phone service to replace the cellphone. I actually do like kindle now. It's convenient. If convenience is not necessarily a good thing. Can they alter books electronically, without permissions? I figure, once everyone is using ebooks, they will begin changing things, over time, to a horrible future.
Later.
"Hmm... I ought to get back to reading as well. I like reading again, just lost track in illness. If I fear there isn't much content for good sci-fi, even with Castillia House churning them out. At the pace I read, or can read... I fear not having books in a while. Oh, and as I get going, I may go back to real books."
ReplyDeleteOn my to-do list: eventually sending you a copy of some of my own scribblings.
And yes, I am feeling particularly and uncharacteristically courageous at this point. At least I know you wouldn't BS me about the content or style, but deliver honest commentary.
First off, good to "see" you again. I was seriously wondering if you had either died (I hate when people say passed, it's what I do with gas, not what happens to associates, friends, or family... and I'm not even a big farter... big yes, farter no... no disservice meant if you are both, however).
ReplyDelete"At least I know you wouldn't BS me about the content or style, but deliver honest commentary."
Yes. I am as nervous as you. From women to man-friends, when asked a question, I answer. I have made man to woman to child cry, I have seen the last of folk, all because they knew I would simply answer. I use fancy words, sometimes. But I can't banter about, dancing like a two-bit whore, hoping for an extra bit. Ask, and you shall receive. However, if you have the stones for it, you can learn a great deal. And, yes, it can lead you in a new direction or help you understand. Trust me, it's the same devices I use on myself, and have for more decades that most people have been alive, even assuming this is my first and only go-around.
Choices. Although, just very roughly, as a precursor... and from what I have read of your material before? Your material is quite good, merely extremely rarefied... if iirc. It is the stuff of academics, if academics had imagination (knew one who did, a Poe scholar... ate his stuff like candy mind you). Still, I would be quite satisfied to gnaw on your works and spit out any new or different thoughts. If you dare, I do. I have no choice, sadly or not. I like my, sometimes, brutal honesty, myself. Even when it stings... some of it for a lifetime, so far, maybe more if I have been here before. If this isn't my first time, I am quite sure that was always true. Things like Shiva, once clarified, and focused on truth... destroy much in the pursuit of clarity.
*wink*