It is a harsh day.

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Nothing feels right.  I am tired but cannot sleep.  I attempted a nap, it just would not happen.  Things just feel off, again, perhaps even worse than before.  Nothing fancy, I don't think.  Probably.  Nothing I haven't actually lived through and worse for at least the first few decades after becoming ill.  Heck, what I am feeling is some of the best, most lucid, moments in the first two and a half decades.  Which... I must say... was pretty rotten.  A bit of a fever, a lack of focus and energy, uncomfortable sitting, reclining, or laying down, can't sleep or really be awake, and falling behind on some things.  Oh, right, and the feet.  I have to cycle through various things.  Between high strength, mid strength, and no socks, I need to cycle through those.  No one option is really bearable.  The heavies become oppressive, the middlings only work for a while, and going without is a bad choice.  Even with the water pill it... is just taking more than just that.

Juggling, if more often in a reactionary way while I am in a lessor state of mind and being.  By the time you realize something has dropped it simply hurts.  On the good side, I am finished with cooking for a bit.  I could get stock through, but I can also wait on that for a week or three or month or two probably.  I can keep my meals simple and pretty much single pot or pan deals, or maybe, say with beans, do a batch that will last a while again.  I will be using the chicken confit, from now on, mostly in casseroles of some sort.  Small ones, mixed with other meats, and a few more keto friendly vegetables such as cabbage.  I should check tubers, but my guess is they are all rather carb rich.  While meatzzas are great, they do tend to get a bit old.  I'll have to consider other foods.  Pork carnitas, perhaps even made confit as well, would make a great addition to various dishes.  Simple is nice, variety seems necessary.  Lamb stew would be very good, I just need a few herbs and spices.  As well, I would like a number of simple recipes to view, read, consider.  I often don't just use one, or use one completely.  I am not sure if you can marinade, then stew, right in the yogurt, but I seem to have heard of that, and eaten that or what seemed to be that, long ago, then... within the last five years, at a restaurant most recently.  I don't remember where the first time(s).

It is a struggle, right now, today.  I may turn the ac on, see if that will help me sleep.  I don't think I am going to watch some of the horror.  And I may simply destroy one of the films.  Some things... just have no saving value.  I had hoped there was more to them, there just isn't.  Junk.  I may actually, however, end up following on some new leads.  Horror seems to be where I need to look.  I don't know what it is I am supposed to see.  I just don't think the line I am on is it.  Trash.  As with a shark, sometimes the only way to know is to bite.  I bit, I spit out.  Until then, I do have a few I can watch, some that were slightly interesting.  Oh, and, while I don't quite consider it horror, as many probably do or did, I found a small selection of the Dark Shadows series.  We were not allowed to watch that, as children.  In part "because", in part because the reruns came on late.  I don't think it was because it was all bad, it's because my mom and dad at the time wanted some private time to relax with the tube together.  Nothing fancy, just time, relaxing, together.  Although I bet they necked sometimes!  Gah!  Anyway, I... have always been curious.  Now I am finding out.  Mostly looking like a silly melodrama than a serious monster or horror series.  Still, it's presentable if quite dated.  I'm just on the first of six disks, in it how Barnabus becomes a vampire is supposed to be revealed.  *ta~da!*  :p

I am hoping to be able to pick up and get going and do some things over the weened.  Even if I just get caught back up on dishes.  But if I can push some laundry through, shower a couple of days, deal with the trash, and tear down some or all of the boxes, I will be happy.  Well, and get the items to be returned packed and ready for shipping by Monday~Wednesday.  If I could rest well, that might help.  If I can rest maybe I can wake.  Not sure about the fever or aches and pains.  Anacin seems to be helping, but I don't want to become dependent on that, or even use it too often.  And, yet, I may use it max use for several days in an attempt to sleep, or wake, or relax so either of those can happen, or... hoping maybe to break the cycle and begin reversing the bad one.  Later, or much later, and maybe good night.