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Can't stick it out of neutral. The engine lights. Not sure what the problem is. I'll keep at it. I have enough food to load for a few days. I have been eating, if more as a duty after that first meal. At one time that pot of spaghetti and meat sauce was two, maybe three meals. This one will be eight to ten meals, more if it doesn't go bad or become intolerable before, even then seemingly too much per meal.
Medicine and sleep, with food, and I hope to finish a few things. Such dreams lately, and notions. Really started wondering if death was knocking, closing in. Maybe Dreamers sleep differently, maybe it is... lots of things, many perhaps most beyond mere science... being a tool limited to the observable, physical. Those who limit themselves to such are, truly, retarded. Not an insult just an understanding of limits. Not an iq thing, a wholeness thing, like a spiritual colorblindness. Anyway, do your best in any case. You will know in less than a hundred years, some of you far less.
I actually believe I have three to more like four decades remaining. They really should have been honest at the start. A heart transplant would have been far cheaper. I would have been dead within six years. Fire those .gov/.mil bean counters. :p Of course they are still aiming for .gov medicine to weed my kind out. I wonder, if incompetent care isn't fast enough, will they turn to outright genocide, or just legalize then shove doctor murder-suicide? Glad they messed up their charts, but not out of spite. It took a long time to... find the source of the Voice. Kept rejecting where that kept leading. Until I ran out of every last other option and reasonable objection. Boy is God longwinded!
Did you know auto-fill won't do some words? Suicide is one. There are others. Start logging them to see what history and politics are being hidden. Google will end up making Weinstein seem like just a bad boy if their sins, literal, political, and social are ever explored with prosecution in mind.
Later.
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