.
I know which one it was. She had a way of doing that, when we lived together. Even when we had stopped being lovers, she would... crawl in with me some nights. Difficult. But... I have... a will... you can't imagine. Was she testing me, or... loving me, trustfully? I never... worried. I just did what I do, did, as I felt called. And, I loved her, without sex.
I was awake, I am sure. I felt the covers lift. At first I thought it was one of the cats. But... no... the door was closed. It was when she crawled in, if keeping to her area, that I knew. I... always smiled a bit. I suppose, in these times, it was as if a daughter crawled in. Good to have the company, but... love in a different form. I just enjoyed having her company.
I didn't let her know I knew she was there. She might have slipped away. I am not sure if she knew she was here, though I am certain she knew she was with me... the part of her that was here. I just... smiled... and went on back to sleep. Later, I woke, with her cuddling up. I just left it at that, and went back on to sleep.
It hurts, a bit, to love so well, even rightly, and to yet to be so far apart. It was a good night anyway.
I have the dishes out, ready for a shower. But it is so dark! I had another meal, and will take more insulin. Blood sugar is staying right around 250. I can get it lower, but not easily without crashing it currently. I'll keep working on it. Thankfully, I found more carb tabs upstairs. I have ten, just in case, but that's it. If, when, I can make it back to town, I may try to purchase more. I need vitamins anyway. It's finding a store that doesn't require a mask. I may call some of the drugstores. Walmart is a place I will no longer use. Amazon has jacked the prices, and slowed delivery to a week or two, with prime. They may have to be let go as well. Without the speed of delivery and reasonable prices, they lose all value... at least to me.
It's bedtime again. I tried to get going, but there is no way for me to do so. Later.
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