A respite.

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From the dreams, at least for a night.  Sleep, glorious sleep.  Until the dogs went crazy, around midnight, a bit before to several hours after.  Something was out there.  I heard... strange noises.  I am sure I heard noises, though what came after was more likely a dream?  I imagined those noises to be not... animal.  Not completely animal.  Human, if of an altered sort.  A wild child, not of being raised by animals, or abused, merely... slightly... seriously... off.

A local son, of a different nature.  Well... I almost believe my dreams.  Or, more believe them than believe what was out there was any other thing it could have been... in order to make the sounds it made.  Strange grunts, as it woofed along, with an odd gait.  Something strange, no matter what it was.  Not quite natural.  Yet, not... totally unfamiliar.  Who knows.

The dogs went absolutely batshit though.  Waking me to a headache, one I feared would not go.  But it did, if not until I went on back to sleep, and then after a while.  It was an exhaustion headache, awakened too early.  I still needed sleep, so got a headache immediately upon becoming aware, conscious.

I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, or sleep well.  Save for occasional disturbances, for an hour or two beyond the initial awakening from barking, I was able to get back to sleep, and mostly stay asleep.  Then the alarm went off.  The four alarm.  I snoozed it out, trying to get up.  Couldn't quite do it.  Fought like heck to do so, and, yet, didn't lose totally.  I lost the battles, with it, but won the war.  Waking at about 05:09, twenty nine minutes after the last of the snoozes available was plunged.

But, technically awake at about 05:05.  That is when I knew I would make it up.  Those last four minutes was me just... literally... resting my eyes, crouched, ready to get up.  And up I got.  Sassy has been fed, her litter sorted.  Breakfast water is running, should be hot enough to set brewing.  Breakfast is in the jar, ready to be stewed.  I am even dressed, enough to check the temp... which reminds me....

It is 37 F out there!  Ugh.  It doesn't feel frigid.  I suppose I have gotten used to it, being that cool, again?  I slept with the windows open, but it didn't cool much.  I opened them right at bedtime, but still.  Yes, I had turned the furnace down for the night, if not way down.  Which... I think I may begin doing.  I am the captain, even if only my very own ship of fools.  At least I am not the Red Queen.  Mostly.

Medicine in.  Today is the last day of my first three weeks being back on medicine, the last day of the first week of being back on full doses, taken twice a day.  I'm not sure if I started back on insulin first or a bit after, but it is similar.  Blood sugar is 153 fasting this morning.  Then again, I had a large portion of beef roast as I was going to bed.  Not even sure that is full fasting, as in eight hours after food?  Let me think...  If I went to bed at 22:30 (which is about right), and woke at 05:05 (by my count), but tested at... it says 04:35... but must be off on daylight savings, so 05:35... and I call it even hours, that was only seven hours.  So, no, not a true fasting.  Though, I don't think I ate exactly before bedtime.  An hour earlier?  But, with allowance for half an hour in either direction and whether it was fasting, as in eight hours, is... questionable.

Anyway... no dreams of war last night.  I needed the break.  My body was truly beginning to... hurt.  In ways you can't imagine.  A beautiful agony, but the terrible depth of it was becoming... a bit... much.  One night off was grand.  If back I must go, so be it.  Though those f'ing dogs... well and whatever stirred them up?  Can hang.  Blah.  Still, much rather that, than the constant, nightlong, dreams.  Or, at least, for the seven or ninth day in a row.  Was getting... rough.  Still, was strengthening me for what is to come?  Amen.

And?  I am awake!  Way early!  If I can keep this up, I will.  Still, would like to get to waking at four, within the alarm and snoozes... and maybe go on back to three and change as necessary.  I'll... try.  This wasn't an accident.  And, while it hasn't worked before, I think, this time, for a while, I... might make it.

Dishes, as soon as I can, first thing on the actual agenda.  Then a shower, laundry, and more dishes.  I'll... keep at it.  Trying, through failure.  Some say to quit, early.  But... somethings can't be quit.  Life itself, is what would have to be surrendered.  I don't have enough money to pay for the help that might be useful.  I don't have... many options.  I won't just... quit.  Tried that, before, in various forms, anyway.  It... doesn't work.  If God says "No.", so be it.  Later.

A sister... of sorts.