.
Dark, outside. It did seem to brighten, a bit, for a while. But, even then, it was hazy. Now it seems much darker again. If it would rain, that would be good.
Blood sugar is doing really well. The last time I checked it, it was 86. Which... had me slightly worried. It felt... a bit off. And, yet, I let it go. Neither eating anything or taking carb tabs. Checking it just a bit ago, and it is 91, perfect. It came up a few points all on it's own. Strange, but... okay.
I can't really seem to get to much else. Just staying awake has been a trick. Heat is up, a bit. Drinking enough water, but not too much? Feeding Sassy every few hours. Interacting with her, too. Sometimes to tease, sometimes to pet, sometimes to itch. She is such a quiet girl, lately. I hope she isn't sad, but... may be a bit lonely. There is me, but I am not a cat. I am thinking about adding to our group.
The thing is, my life... how much time do I have? I really could have another thirty, or more years. Or maybe I won't see the end of this year. I am living on borrowed time like no one you could imagine. Just sitting, I can get tunnel vision. I feel ill most of the time. Even when there isn't pain, I just don't feel right. I feel like I should be dead, I feel like I am dying. But I have felt that way for decades. I fight it, sometimes escape it for a very short time. Or longer times. Medicine might help, again, a bit, for a while, as long as I can stay on it, take it regularly. Doing my best.
So... another cat? Though, perhaps, one closer to her age? A tom, who lost his home? Or another lady, who just needs a place? Then, there is food, litter, attention. I do give Sassy a lot of time, actually. And when Sam was asking for it, they both got a lot of time. But, I do think cats need... cats. I'm... thinking about it. Or a puppy? Ugh. Wonderful, but...
Then again, a puppy would only be here for about a decade. A cat might be here for ten to twenty years, depending on age. Sassy, to put it bluntly, has about ten more years. I don't want to lose two pets close to each other. One is brutal. Just... watching them time down is difficult. Choices, decisions, risks... but... in the end... you roll them bones, and take your chances. It's all we've got. Science, logic, statistics? I'd trust the love of a mother far before those things. And the love of God even above that. So be it.
I may end up in bed earlier tonight. But, all good, if I can wake earlier and get going. I will try. Later.
Another cat might be good for both of you. Might fill a tiny bit of the hole in your heart. But, I would suggest a female cat. A male might have a tendency to "mark his territory" if ya know what I mean.
ReplyDeleteYes. Especially since he would be... a bit put out by my dominance. Size matters. :p I have pretty much thought the same thing. Plus, I generally tend to get along with females better, dogs, cats... humans. Generally speaking. No, specifically thinking too, generally. :)
ReplyDeleteI like men, as... friends, allies, enemies. Just... not any closer than we have to be, if you know what I mean. Then again, I think women understand that even better than I do. Har!