On to bed.

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I kept thinking of getting things done.  I kept failing to be able to act.  I would go, to do, and just forget what I was doing.  Either finding myself, sitting here at the computer, looking through the web, or back gaming.  Gaming may be nearing an end.

The new 'toon I created is a dex build.  The problem with it is, without being able to sneak, attack from behind, in these early stages, it really isn't survivable.  I suppose strength builds have their own problems.  I know casters have problems.  I am thinking, as soon as possible, to respec to a caster type, and level through that.  Then, when I get high enough level, and enough equipment, return to dex.  Because, at the lower levels, I don't see how people play that class/type and level it.  Unless they like watching paint dry, grass grow, and other mind-dead things.  Boring, slow, monotonous, dull.  And, taking several attackers at once is so very unlikely to end favorably.  And, this game likes to make it almost impossible to fight singularly for more than, say, a third of the game?  Especially if your 'toon needs to move, run, kite.

Yea, leveling as a pseudo mage may be the only practical way.  Perhaps even for strength builds?  I did equip, and upgrade, bows.  But they are rather weak weapons, even leveled, and with choice arrows.  Magic does serious damage, arrows and melee... not so much.  Unless a 'toon is underleveled almost anywhere at 30?  50?  Maybe.

A salad, with a few boiled eggs, cheeses, and a fatted coffee.  A good meal.  I did take 6 cc's of fast acting.  And, being near bedtime, my usual slow acting insulin.  I am trying to remember to check my medicine, make sure I take it.  Getting better at it, but... it's... a process.  Memory and concentration are greatly reduced when restarting medicine, especially in a stormy spring season.  Still, I'll... keep at it.

I need to get a bucket of rabbit feed, filled, and back to the one who loaned me some.  And a few dollars.  Bucket rental.  :)  I can ill afford it, but wouldn't do it wotherwise.  It isn't even enough to make a difference, just a small bit to show I actually have gratitude.  Could buy a few sodas, or hot cocoa somewhere?  Who knows, as expensive as everything has gotten.  But... it is something.  With the intent of showing gratefulness.  Makes any future "loan" more, tenable?  But, that isn't the intent.

Oh, someone suggest, perhaps, that... from a recent post... perhaps a different way women think of me?  From the past?  And, maybe.  But?  But, you have to understand.  Women like poison.  They absolutely love it.  Bath in it.  Eat it, drink it, love it.  So... even if you are right... you aren't winning, on that one.  It is why I did what I did?  No, it really isn't.  A side effect of it?  No.  Just a reality, if you find yourself kicking a lot of tires... but never buying the cow.  Free milk makes Johnny a bad boy.  I wasn't trying to be that way, I was running from a ghost I couldn't remember, and trying to love but with a haunt I could not shake.  You... have no idea what that is like, to strike the one you love with love... to death.  At least, now, I know what the problem was.  And, I have cleaned up.  Fifteen years without so much as a nibble.  Certainly no leg.  You... also... have no idea what giving that up has been.  Amen.  Hell of a thing.  Not a win, as I have mentioned, but... a needed cleansing?  Sacrifice?  Something.

Later.