*ring*

.

.

Hello?  Surprised voice... "Your up!".  I think, I am now.  Brother the main called.  He looked up friends from when we lived in Akron.  Colorado, not Ohio... or else.  The kids of the men who owned and operated the Norka.  No yolk?  It was a restaurant, bar, and hotel.  Motel?  A multistoried affair.  Fancy, for a cow poke, dirt farmer, sort of area.  Not mocking, I was a street rat, if in a small rural town sort of way.

The last post by any was in 2019, or so.  Facebook, maybe another?  Marines, for one, and a few kids.  Oh, and the son of the man who ran the grocery store, same town.  Hard work, lots of it,  Yeulenhops?  I have no idea how to spell that last name.  They, save for one of the four he found, were good friends, great friends.  One I got in a lot of trouble with.  His daddy paid off his sins, I worked mine off.

No contact, but it was interesting.  Oh, and a girl, from back when.  She was hot.  Mexican.  But, like that ever really mattered.  My brother, that brother, is half.  I'm a double breed.  Mom is a high yellow.  Shit is what it is.  Not only was she hot, she was tall, like six foot?  I dreamed of her Jennie, all I'm saying.

My brother heard me... praising her.  Told me I ought to look her up.  I just laughed.  Too old.  Women ripen like milk, and not into cheese.  Become bitter too.  They want a paycheck, without having to even put out.  Until no one would really want their... offerings.  Then they get serious.  Too late.

He just batted back about how old I am.  I just told him I wouldn't date a grandma.  He asked, again, about my age.  I just laughed and said even if I was ten years older than her, I am far younger.  I can still have kids, she can't.  No thank you.  If there is no reason to plow a field, I won't!  Sex isn't... that great.  It's barely good.  And older woman can't even tighten it up.  Let it go long ago.  No thanks.  But... damn, she was fine when fresh.  Damn.

"You are an asshole!"  No, I'm two... coming and going.  A bastard one at that, literally and figuratively.  But I'm not doing a grandma.  Ugh.  "You'll die alone!"  I already have.  At least three, but more like half a dozen times.  And, you know what that is?  That is dying in peace.  Not a bad way to go.  If she can't give me a b, an a, a b, a y, she can... what is it feminists like to say?  Do it for herself.  Thank you.  Hahaha.  Damn but I like getting my brother wound up.  It's more fun that playing rope pull with a puppy!  Especially when I am serious.  He's ALWAYS serious.  I am stupidly serious and literal, but he has such a serious 'serious... literal... stick' up his ass, he probably always feels a lump in his throat.  *cough*  Hahaha.  I love him, but that is the truth.

It's... not all about sex?  Right, but there has to be a reason for the sex, and an interest.  If I shoot, I want to be shooting at something.  Funny, how for so long I thought I was wanting just the sex, until I realized... why I really was wiggling.  Six kids, eight if you count the two lost, that I know about?  A ten percent pregnancy rate, by women... goaded?  But, never able to raise any, see them grow, go through the love, rejection as they get on their feet, and... hopefully... in time... a return.  "Luke, I am your father... *sucking sound, sucking sound, sucking sound*  "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"  *grins*

Anyway...  On to... something.  He asked what I had been doing.  Sleeping.  Yep.  From what I hear, he doesn't sleep much.  Just catches winks.  When he can.  Horrible back pains, feet have trouble being in shoes, or even socks.  Then again, he drives himself.  A ten, fifteen, year younger wife?  Will do that.  Kids, a home, etc.  Adds up.  I... can, and do, rest, sleep, when I can, will, must.  I don't even fight it, these days.  I aim for days, but in high summer and winter... high summer low winter?  There are times of the year when control is completely gone.  This is one of them.

It was warm upstairs.  I left it open.  No warmer or cooler than when I close it up.  But it felt warmer?  I may close it up, from now on.  Was... experimenting.  Downstairs is 74/77, or when I woke.  I'll turn the ac on, for the rest of the afternoon.  Or it will get warmer, and that is getting too warm.  Yea.  Up, I'm up.  He was so surprised.  Not only that I answered, but that I sounded awake.  He finally, maybe, has someone he can call, talk to, when.... he has a moment of man joy, figures something out, finds someone or several people.  I think he is... happy.