Truly harsh.

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Down right around 21:00, perhaps a little before, or after.  Everything hurt.  Well, a lot of things hurt, and fairly harshly.  I didn't get painpills in.  I remembered them, when I got up there, but couldn't, wouldn't, go back down for them.  Exhaustion was greater than even pain.  A few in with medicine this morning.

Up a bit after eight.  A quarter, half, something.  My legs were "asleep", as with my right arm.  Legs are back, without too much trouble.  But my right arm is snoozing right along.  Can still use it.  Wouldn't want to bet fine dexterity using it, not for my life or even a few dollars.  It might be there, but... no certainty.

Not everything that hurt yesterday still hurts, or as badly.  Still, pretty rough.  I don't mind.  Pain... can teach, bring humility, even give a poor man something worthy of offering to God, and those in purgatory.  Not something most, even I, would choose.  But, when flush with a type of grace, might as well be thankful and find a way to... make even it a fruit, a sacrifice.  Trust me, parts of purgatory make anything you could endure on earth seem... tender, gentle.  You... can't die, there.  But you can hurt.  

Pray for any who has died.  You never know.  I'll tell you, some saints have gone through there.  I have a list of folk I pray for on a regular basis.  Cool water, and wind, in a parched land, should you be there and hear that.  I'm not sure you can push through without external prayer.  Have heard that, and... while I can't say, wasn't there long enough, I... have, and had when there, some suspicions in, toward, that regard.  Even the most confident could have some minor sin they never released here.  That's all it takes, so... yeah.  A cardinal sin, they say, is finally lethal.  I'll tell you, you never know who makes it, or where, no matter how it seems here.

Hopefully painpills will help though.  I have suffered a lot these last few days, weeks... months.  A small break would be good.  Of course, if I can escape the pain a bit, I'll just use that to craft more... through work, efforts, chores, and such.  Why waste a perfectly painless body!  Use it... until you run into another brick wall!  :)  I wish I was healthier so that I could work the hide right off my back.  Amen.

It's frustrating to be brutalized without gaining for it.  It seems wrong.  But, God... sort of gave us choice, and that choice led to here, for some of us.  Though, for some of us, it brought us back to Him.  And some suggest WE are the faithful servants.  He waits in spite of us.  I do have to laugh, sometimes.  And be thankful.

Hmm?  Today?  I don't know.  Tuesday, right?  Yep.  I probably more need rest and recovery today.  Not honestly sure I can do more.  Still, would like to get a shower.  Do some dishes?  Turn laundry... probably redo.  I think I left a load in the wash.  Ugh.  Hope it isn't too ugly, but I'll get to that next time I am up for something.

Prayers.  A nice grouping of prayers.  The more literal sorts, and the contemplative... just focusing on the connection with God.  Opening up the beam, letting Him in to see, clean, touch the interior, dust the webs of sin and forgetfulness, and such.  Listening, to His hum, is so much better than speaking to Him.  Amen.

Hmm... well... on to looking around the web, as I wake.  Later.