.
A very late start given that I was to bed by 19:30, or so? Sometime in there. Noon thirty!?! Late. I did sleep well. Save that I didn't brush my teeth the third time, but couldn't get back up to do it. So it was on my mind all night. I kept hoping I would be able to sit up, go down, and brush. Twice is okay, as long as it is first and last thing of the day. It wasn't. I had a meal and coffee after the last brushing.
So, yea, no. I didn't get up. Couldn't. Once I hit the mattresses, I was done. Mostly sleeping good. As to that being on my mind? Well, I wake during the nights. A car, hoot owl, cat, dog barking. I sleep lightly, but good? Sort of, when the world is right. My conscience is light. Meaning, if I do something I think wrong, moral or in this case mechanical, it sticks with me.
I can fix it, by managing it more precisely... or speaking with someone about having been a jerk, or a jerk of the wrong kind. Sometimes the world requires us to be righteous jerks. You can... feel bad about that, but if it was correct sometimes you just have to eat it. Though, too, in the moment, and after, you can offer some mitigation, understanding. Without compromising what is right or wrong.
A dream. I was on a bike, the pedal kind. I got lost in an industrial area. No one would talk, or help in any way. I was becoming exhausted, and felt so lost. Eventually a fellow, driving a cement turning truck, signaled me over.
He gave me instructions, for getting out. But realized I was too exhausted to take it all in. So, he told me to toss my bike up on his bumper. It fit well enough. Then told me to hop in the cab.
He took me through the first three of the four instructions he had given me, then stopped. He told me where to go next, but he couldn't go that way. He also told me to get out as quickly as possible, and to never enter one of these zones again. He told me that, if I was here much longer, I would never be able to leave. Everyone here was stuck in a form of hell. Neither could they leave, nor die. Forever.
So, I grabbed my bike, waived gratefully, and pedaled on out. Never to enter those zones again. They were everywhere, once I realized what they were.
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I later dreamed about someone who knew of these places. Who decided to steal from the house in there. Take his chances. And, so, he waited until the shift for a certain zone started. For they worked eight to twelve hour shifts, then went to their homes. Where they would sleep, watch tv, even play console or computer games, serf the internet, normal seeming things. They only things they couldn't do was leave the zone.
He started with the closest houses. Loading up on the things he liked. Electronics, gold, silver, anything he thought he could use or sell easily. He only went five houses in before returning. Not wanting to push his luck. He decided to investigate the first house he hit, just... to see.
To his amazement, everything he had taken was back in it's place. A sliver (he thought) pocket watch, a consoler, a nicer laptop, a couple dozen silver coins, and four or five gold coins. All back, exactly where they had been. Taking them, again, he was amazed to find that he still had the ones he took in the first place.
He got out of there, and never went back. Unsure of what really happened. He was able to sell all the items, including the duplicates... but had doubts if the owner was out anything. So tempting, to go back in. But knowing what he did, and just lucky to be more fearful than greedy, he... never went back.
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Sassy is fed. Teeth are brushed. Water for coffee is heating. Body is slightly grumpy, but good. Tired though. It's more that the sun isn't up long or as seemingly brightly? And it is cooler. I feel warm, even hot. Slept very pleasantly. But it is just 58 outside, 64 upstairs, and 67 in this front room... 72 in the main. So warm though. Odd.
The hope is to push through, get some work done, dishes, laundry. Get a shower. Cook some food. Clear and clean the freezertop. Pull meat to thaw. Ugh. Still hoping, and pushing. If I have my doubts. Coffee isn't helping, a little or a lot, these days. It's fall. That's just how it goes.
I keep thinking about the Philippines. Finding a woman. Would like to find one who speaks her language (of course), English, and Spanish. To teach me Spanish, and her language, as I improve her English. That... will be a lot of our spare time. Further, it will be preparing us to homeschool our children. To be honest, I don't even trust Catholic schools these days. In Argentina though? Maybe. But, basic school systems are... more for socializing the child to some minimum level, it isn't for educating. Not modern systems.
I would rather teach my children how to find, and absorb, information. How to find skilled folk, and learn from practical education. Learning who to ask what, and what to ask whole sum, in order to understand a concept or practice. It means the world would be available to them, for some input. Nothing is free, but it doesn't have to be exceptionally expensive... if you go about it correctly.
Yes, to teach, as well, is to learn. If, to be honest, I did finally understand that learning theory is... vastly superior to learning simple methods. For calculus, physics, even simple algebra. If you get the theory down, the practicum solves itself. True? Theory is never, really, true. But, if it can get you to the right answers the vast majority of time, that's the way to fly. Then, just use a device... a calculator or program, to solve. For you will always make mistakes in solving, if all you know is method. Method is the simplest form of theory, and doesn't handle exceptions and such well. You have to know all the methods, rather than a few theories, to solve the same solvable sets of... questions.
Yes, if I can find a good woman? She will teach language, history, civics of several nations. I will teach science and the line of mathematics up to the child's capacity. From algebra and biology to calculus based chemistry and physics, to third level calculus and into linear algebra and differential equations... Hopefully have these things managed, for those who can do them, by twelve to fourteen years old. Then get them to degrees that are worth having. I won't send any of my children for non-functional degrees. If they want that, they will have to figure out how to pay for it on their own.
Well, assuming I can get there, find a woman, move on to somewhere a family can be kept together, and on through this thing. But... that's... the plan. I do dream about snippets of this, now and then. Even daydream. Who knows. Later.
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