Hungry.

.

.

Again.  Again again, really.  A steak.  Cooked to perfection, if only half eaten.  Though, that is working out for me really well.  A new microwave makes a difference.  If I really shouldn't.  Still, it's what I've got, and can do, so there it is.  Have a steak fresh and cooked about as raw as it can be, for my tastes (which... is... rather closer than most could do).  But, it is seared very well, tight.

The next meal of that will be warmed in the microwave.  I try to only warm it really well, not cook it.  To the level that is possible.  And, yes, that works really well.  Still, three meals today?  Two of them of very questionable sorts?  But... the first meal was a social thing.  And... it... opened up a whole can of worms.  Hungry?  No.  HUNGRY.  Right.  Even the burrito didn't fill the void.  I could have eaten another?  Yes.  Right then, too.  So the half a steak... was a denial.

Blood sugar is 225.  Surprised it isn't higher.  May well be by tomorrow.  Though steak, as a finisher, might... help.  Certainly getting back on carnivore will.  Though I'm not holding my breath.  Still may have Christmas cookies, or such, coming.  Don't know, though.  Not sure mom can?  We'll see.  If she does, it won't be a wasted effort.  But, that... will be the last of things.  Oh, well, and I just ate, too.  Even steak will boost blood sugar some.  A lot for me, given my health, or lack of it.

Still?  It was wonderful.  To see a friend, to get fed, and fed, and fed.  To do some shopping.  To get a package returned in time.  To shower.  To... enjoy a day.  It was a bit rough.  I was getting tired.  And I'll get to bed early... earlier.  It's still almost one, but that's still well before eight fifteen!  Though, I'm... not in bed quite yet.  I'm... avoiding it?

Dreams.  Of... her.  A her.  A babymaker.  Wonderful, but so... powerful.  I really am hoping that there is time to do that, with a woman, somewhere.  Running in slow motion to try to make it to the place where that might happen.  And yet, terrified.  That's... powerful happenings.  So... sort of afraid of that softness, that... delicate nature.  I'll... get to bed shortly, anyway.  Goodnight.