Awake and... okay?

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So nice to wake up in a clean room.  But the floor sure gets dirty quickly.  I... may have to figure something out that way.  House shoes, just for the upstairs?  I have flipflops, but don't were them upstairs because they are dangerous on the stairs.  For me.  But, a pair of full coverage slip-on shoes might work.  Nothing fancy, just... something to wear while up there.  But not down here, unless/until I clean these floors too.

The CDC keeps calling, asking me to join in some sort of town hall.  No.  I have no interest in talking to a corporate pharma crony, which only wants my approval for it's evil actions.  No.  They don't want my input, I've given that by completely ignoring their (continuing) false vaccine push, and everything else they do.  From that, to their suggestion that diabetics eat sugar, to...  They are, basically, anti-human.  They want us dead, they aren't in the business of health, or wellness.

I have blocked three of their numbers, so far, and they keep calling from a different number.  Ah, what's funny?  They are using an AI old white guy voice.  Dropped the DEI for just a second to try to get people interested?  No.  That crony anti-human, pro-death, organization needs to be dismantled and everyone in it fired, some sent to prison.  Talk to them?  Fuck no.

Ah, but I woke, during the day, and realized my dental had to be coming up.  So, I called them.  Yep, coming up and fast.  So... I will be ready.  Ugh.

Took my blood sugar first thing.  Higher than yesterday.  But... not as high as I was fearing.  I wondered if it would hit 150 again, just for shits and giggles.  But, no.  It is 98 fasting.  And, that is... good enough.  That is very good.  Still, the second lowest fasting blood sugar I have had since becoming diabetic.  As well?  The weekly blood sugar is down to 124, biweekly 158, and monthly to 146.  Yeah, I had it lower, then went on a bit of carb fest.  That... may happen, from time to time.  But... less so, now that I am seeing results.

Odd, though.  I miss feasting, just not all that comes with it.  Seeing real results helps.  I have figured out what, and how, to eat.  And it is... doable, even for me.  If I have to miss food for a day, because I can't cook, or eat, that is doable.  Even several days, now.  There is a bit of a price, mind you, but it is doable.  However, I have found that pushing too far, or long, and I will go feral.  My body does need... something.

It doesn't actually need food, at this point.  It's... the want, of eating.  It is... a... minor directive.  But, one that can cause a loss of control if I don't tend it.  It is the flesh vetoing my directives.  The flesh is subordinate to my will, up to a point.  Three, four, five days?  Maybe.  But any time, in that range, and the body may get the keys, drive to a fast food joint or pizza shop, and indulge.  And, it won't stop, then, until it is... satisfied in the destruction.  Days of eating, feasting, on junk.

So?  So... I feed it.  Usually daily.  I give it... all it can eat.  But, with food that it can't eat beyond more than a taste... compared to how I used to eat.  The feral side still rages, it's a trick.  We both know it.  But, too, it isn't a trick.  It is working.  It IS satisfying my hunger.  It IS satisfying my physical need for food.  It just isn't feasting, as I used to do.  So, a trick, and... not.  Sawdust, formed with a few proteins and fats, would be cheating.  This... isn't that.

A steak, today.  Money is short this month.  And... I have plenty.  But, when I begin running out of steak, I am going to begin looking for better quality beef.  Given that it is all that I eat?  I am willing to... spend a bit more.  Even if I just ate ribeye, and at $20 a pound?  I only eat half a pound a day.  At $10, for half a pound, by 30 days?  That's $300.  I can do that.  But, if I buy better burger, for even $7 a pound, and eat half that half the days?  At $3.50 by 15, $52.5, plus $150... assuming just steak and burger, that's $202.5 a month.  But, toss in chuck roasts, pork chops, and some others.  Even at top quality?  I could eat on between $150 and $250 a month, as a carnivore.  Even less when I add offal (liver, kidney, heart, tongue (if the latter too have become far too expensive these days).  That is half, or a quarter, what I was paying to eat on a more standard diet.  And far better quality.

I better get the old stuff eaten up.  The thing is... I really can't eat all that fast!  Ugh.  Even steak, half a day, whole on rare days.  Very strange.  I really wouldn't have believed it.  I was eating more, before, but only because, when you add carbs in?  It drives your hunger.  A hunger which isn't really for food, but for feasting.

Ugh.  But, to get to this point?  Was brutal.  The addiction is real, for sugar, even just for carbs.  It's still there.  I remember, after quitting tobacco, the harsh hunger for that.  I got it every other day, after I had well and truly quit.  Then once a week.  Even now, a few times a year I get a serious craving for tobacco.  A smoke, a chaw, a cigar or pipeful.  It's... the same with sugar, and carbs.  Right now it's every other day to several times a week.  Addiction, no other word for it.

Anyway... it's about time to get some food.  Brush my teeth and game, first.  Give it an hour.  Then get to the steak.  I may make a pan sauce, with sour cream, whole cream, the pan leavings, and?  For now, that and salt will do.  A sip, and coffee going, while... sorting all that out.  Later.