Rough.

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It's just a difficult morning.  Getting up was so very difficult.  I didn't go down until three, so I reset the alarms for eight and ten.  Waking, just barely, at the ten alarm.

Sassy fed first thing.  The machines on and going.  A touch of apple sauce.  Just... something something.  Shouldn't, but... shut up.  Then, cleared the dishes so as to take a shower.  But first, onto the scale.

Always worried I've stopped losing, or even started gaining.  It will happen, though time.  It... just does.  You can't win every round, you just can't.  Still?  234.4.  Without a bm this morning.  And with a little food in.  not a lot, but it counts.  Down from 238 even, last time I stepped on the device.  Good.  Still, anxious for 220.  I want to see where I am at that point.  Still probably need to lose another twenty from there, I would guess.  So?  So, about, say, fifteen pounds from my intermediate goal, and thirty five pounds from my, probably, ultimate goal.  I'll know when... I look right.  That's from, at the very least, two hundred eighty eight, but more likely over three hundred, may three ten, fifteen?  I... stopped weighing when I got really heavy.  For shame.  And, yes, it can accumulate fast, especially when you give up.  Well, and they are feeding you insulin so you CAN'T lose weight!  Insulin simply stores fat.  That... is it's purpose.  Take more, gain more.  Especially for some people.  That was, at most, eight months ago.  And, two eighty, plus, say, three months ago?  

Then?  Then, if possible, to swimming.  As a start.  If I can swim, and keep the weight down, I may add in weight lifting.  Nothing fancy.  Though, if I could get back to even benching four hundred?  I'll take it.  Not a terrible goal, I got to three hundred... benching... when at the U o Iowa.  So, it's... and that while in engineering school, when I could make it.  So... yes.  It's... possible.  Unlikely?  Sure.  But everything is impossible, until you do it.  Right?  *grins*

Coffee should be ready.  Then to gaming.  I'll see about my friend, try to make it so he can see me, perhaps talk.  Not sure my machine can connect to his, in that way.  Will find out, I guess.  Started a new 'toon.  But didn't like that one, so near the end, rerolled another.  Low levels are brutal.  Though, even at like level 82 (in traits, not gear, where the game rates difficulty off gear), I still haven't faced a full boss.  Though, they throw bosses into the game, randomly.  But I've never beat one.  They disappear if you don't kill them almost immediately, which... isn't possible.  At my level and gear rank.  Bah!  F'ing stupid game devs, some of them.

So, yeah.  Best get the game going.  Oh, and take meds.  I did get that shower, and redid my leg bandages.  Looking better?  Yes.  But, I have to admit?  Leaving them the hell alone, once in a while, is far better than twice daily cleaning and rebandaging.  That just wasn't working.  I swear, doctors give out the stupidest, or most evil, advice.  Leave. It. Alone!  Even the infection is mostly gone, improved in just a few days of letting it rest.  Some days, sure, but once in a while, just let it completely alone.  Washed up easily enough, as well.  Minor sting, on the open wound.  All good.  Later.