.
I can't be sure. I have been awake for... a long time. I have been thinking, reading, listening, and all such things. Brushed my teeth first thing, then fed my little lady friend. Popped on the machine. Looks like a few have visited. More than usual? Who knows. But... if the numbers are even close to real, then yes. Quite a few more than has been here lately.
I can't do blood sugar, out of strips. Didn't want to step on the scale, haven't been controlling fluid well, either with waterpills regularly, or by watching consumption. I've been drinking (if just carbonated water) like a fish, or sailor? Which is worse? :p I don't recall. Anyway.
Still? I stepped on, expecting at least 215, probably 220 again? Nope. I am right at 211.2, my new record since before I was out of high school. I think I weighed 210 around the end of my sophomore year, and 218 at the end of that year, leaving high school at 220, give or take five on any given day. So... it's... been a while. But I had a twenty eight to thirty inch waist at the time, getting to thirty one inch when I got to 240, in my prime, benching 600 plus. Now? By clothing size, about 36/38 waist, depending on the day. Dropping, and quickly again.
Though I still have a sort of belly. It is crinkling into a crumpled big origami sheet, opened and put over a small balloon, but mostly just from a quarter inch above the belly button, down to just above the peri area. Oh, and while I sleep on my side, it feels like I have a bigger belly. But when I tighten it, it becomes like a turtles back, hard, but with an inch of fat on the whole surface. Damnedest thing.
As to the bruise on my side? I kept checking it. And it seemed to still be there. The same size for the last... two, three, months? Then, today, in my sleepiness? I checked the wrong side. Then the right side? I... there is no difference. The bruise has been gone for three months. That is just the, a, hip bone plate. There isn't anything there, compared to the opposite side! Okay. I did heal from that much more quickly than... the doctor even imagined. He was thinking a year, it was healed in three months.
No food since Tuesday evening, into Monday morning? I chowed down on the dagwood through the night. I had hoped to save it for the next day, but no dice. Since then I have had a coffee per day, plus... lots of water. Lots and lots of water, for whatever reason thirsty as a devil. Tonight, with coffee, I had two cans of kippers. Not fancy, only two hundred eighty calories between the two, maybe less since I don't do fish juice? Still, it was... something.
I was right, my body didn't need food. It felt nothing. It wanted food? But didn't need it. Still, was glad for it. Might even have salad later. I'll have to make more italian dressing. That... is good. Did my last gal pal have it right, that I have a touch? I don't know. All I know is, light, easy with spices and herbs, but enough salt. The oil to vinegar ratio? Whatever. Varies. I go by looks, viscosity, when shaken. But, I... did like it. It's been a while, though. Everything fresh and new, but loved from before, tastes like manna the first time back around?
On to my day, or the rest of it. A shower, some gaming, prayer, looking around the web, then hopefully, tonight, to bed early. Ugh. I'll try. Good evening. Be well. Stay or not, like, love, or hate. You... are in my prayers.
I hinted at a possible fast, well I think subconsciously, my body was sending signals. Runny eyes, harsh cough(where did that come from?) Cough was yesterday and the day before, nothing this morning. Yesterday wake/sleeping before work chills and bed soaking sweats, I need two beds so I can rotate/ dry the other. Was brutal all night and this morning...hot, cold, wet, dry, nausea. Didn't have bitters at work, so every time I sipped water(I was dry) that cold slug of water would kick my guts and my body temp would swing. Going to back away from full fast, though I haven't eaten since this time yesterday (and that wasn't much). I have to force something in, maybe butter and saltines, won't add the sardines just yet. Was thinking soup. So far the only thing sounding "good" is the Kerrygold butter, not by itself. First world problems, we've eaten and drank ourselves to bad health. "gluttony"?
ReplyDeleteGotta' go fix Balto, Sasha, and I something, leaning to soup, hard to share though, maybe not, I'll add broth to their dry food. Then eat what I can. Of the soup! not the dry...
Few spoons of soup (beef with country vegetable, if you must know") feeling much better. Dipped a milk-bone in the broth for Balto. Sasha didn't show up for soup "bitch" her loss.
ReplyDeleteThere are times when sardines just aren't possible. However, I am getting to the point that they aren't actually ever a problem. But... when I was closer to your size, and health, there were times I couldn't even contemplate them. There was also a time when saltines and butter were a dream match. Now I can't contemplate them? Odd, but true.
ReplyDeleteI used to think, when I got ill like that, it was some recurring illness, possibly even malaria? Or something like it? And, maybe I have that. Or, maybe, if I would fast for a bit, some poison in my fat would come out. Never can be sure?
I've been doing veggies lately, though added cherry tomatoes and through my blood sugar off. But sure liked the rare treat with my salad. Sassy won't even sniff my fingers after eating a salad. Just grunts. :p
'Stupid human food!'
*"stupid human"!*? :p
She ain't wrong, always. But with food, sometimes.
Yes, we have eaten ourselves to near death. In my case, I was already there. Not sure it really mattered, or matters now. But, if I can crawl my way out of the part of the grave I crawled into, you can. A year seems like a long time. But looking back on it, and the pain? It... seems... more like six! Ugh. But... do it. Or don't. Every day is a chance, choice. You won't do it perfectly. You will fail. It's what you do after.