.
And, I may, before too long. But first, I want to warm up. A coffee is being set up. A shower after that? I picked up a pocket knife, to begin tearing down boxes later. Sometime after the shower, possibly after the first run of work in this room, or before that latter, a meal? I don't know. I have two larger beef patties. I thought about beans, with that, but no. Perhaps keto rice or noodles, and stewed tomatoes? An odd meal. Or... maybe just burger, rice/noodles, butter, and maybe sour cream?
Blood sugar finally dropped well, to 102. Still not perfect, but... it's better. And that... would do on any given day. Not a fasting number, which is preferable. But... good.
Boxes, boxes, and more boxes. Again. But, soon, no more. Why buy, when... the dreams for which things were being purchased are over? There are other dreams, but... things won't get me to them. Now it's more about buying right clothes, right items, not just things. Wool blankets, wool and silk layering items, good materials for pants and shirts, right fit (which is... tricky at the moment, as I am still losing weight, sizes).
And, in life, it's more about buying things that are right, for foods... drink... and not really going after high quality, for it's own sake. Backing away from seeking "the best", or such. Looking for solid quality, humbler of nature, but good of quality. Chicken and sirloin, if not to replace, certainly to supplement ribeye. Sardines, and other canned fish, as most other fish is of questionable origins, thus dubious nature. Things as such.
But, first, I need to get rid of a lot of things, sort some things, clean and gift some things. A solid reduction in the possessions pool. Cleaning as I go. We'll see. I fell, there for a bit. Was waiting on... something that may just not happen. We'll see. So, I best get started, on my own.
There is the tea kettle. Coffee!
The game is going well. Though it looks like a trophy or two is buggy. Will try to get them sorted.
I sure am hungry. And, yet, not. I can go a few more days without food. Or have a meal. It won't make much difference. I get nothing, but nutrition, from food. No pleasure. Even when I cheat, now... even when pizza or fast food... it just... doesn't have any kick. So strange. A good thing, and not so good. A feast is lost on me, as is a fast. Meh. Later.
Chicken and sausage Gumbo, topped w/ sour cream and Parmesan. Dipping dog biscuits and corn tortillas in it for the dogs. No, I'm not having any of those damn tortillas, they suck, and have told the wife, she buys them every month or so, then after a month or so sitting on the counter... I throw them away. Same with those sketchy salads, told her I would no longer entertain the thought of eating them.."blink, blink." Maybe I shouldn't use big words. Still 2 invariably show up, one disappears(her salads she'd better eat), the other sits there for a week,
ReplyDeletethen she'll say "oh I got you a salad" .
OOoooh I'll play the game "thank you", go to fridge,
"where is it?"...
"right there on the shelf in front of you"
"Oh,! this one that 's been in here all week?"
"I forgot to tell you"
I throw the salad in the trash and walk out.
Harsh.?.. not from where I'm sitting. I give pre-made salads two days tops, not one Saturday to the next. There's one in there since Fri night (seafood shrimp/fake crab) wonder when it will no longer be "HERS" and she'll say she got it for me. At that point I'll open the container into the dog bowls. And hope they shit all over her room. Harsh..?.. yep, I'm tired of repeating myself, hoping for a little better result, gets old fast. My days are getting fewer, don't want to play games.
She came looking for approval on some "meal" she'd made.
Asked me if I liked it, I diplomatically said I'd tried a little, but did I like it? from what I could tell made of elbow macaroni, sweet spaghetti sauce, diced carrots, corn, garbanzo beans, maybe mushroom, and or "meat?", and kidney beans. What was I supposed to say? what I did say was I only ate a teacup full as I was trying to avoid "everything?" in there, and probably wouldn't be eating much more. Not gonna kiss her ass over a meal I never would have made for myself. I notice she made something new last night, so there's that "did you like it?" sitting there, wonder when I'll "get" to throw that out too. Reminded me of navy chili mac more "soupy" and not as "spicy" good.
Sorry for the rant, it just kind of happened.
Epic rant gone, about two hrs of keyboard pounding, editing and bruising my fingers, poof, said it published, can't find. I'm done.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I copy before posting. I know, you get excited, and just *click*! On the good side? Because it was long, blogger thought it might be spam. So held it for me. I just cleared it. It's back!
ReplyDeleteBut, yes, that is heartbreaking when they do that. And, I think they target specific comments, particular ideas, and certain people and out blogs.
I'll... respond, once I read it. If need be.
Rants are welcome. Gotta vent. Men don't get the opportunity? Not socially.
ReplyDeleteAh, but you bring back all the things about various of my longer term women. I still don't know if they do what they do because they are women, and that is how women work... or if they hate us, and want us to die of some painful ailment caused from stress? *grins*
If it weren't for vaginas, they would have been hunted to extinction. And... I'm not even sure that should be enough. God is cruel, but obviously has a sense of humor. At least they got the boobs. Mostly. :p
Glad it showed, couldn't have done it again. And I've moved on to other things. Will poke around Ewe toob
ReplyDeleteI was just glad it wasn't lost. It's more than words. Stories, and notions, are who we are. Putting them down means something. And... I like the stories. Just glad a part of you wasn't lost.
ReplyDelete