A better morning.

.

.

Up at eight thirty?  A bit before, a bit after, but... yea.  More sleep.  Needed light to wake?  Or... what of it is available.  It's a gloompuss day.  All good though.

Sassy fed.  I had some corn and peas, again.  Coffee as well.

Having more of a difficult time getting water out than anticipated.  So... more pills than usual continues, and at a higher count than had been planned.  Look, when your legs become balloons, you do what you can about it.  It is draining, if more slowly than it should be?

In the morning, the legs to feet look... better.  Not as good as hoped.  Four liters out last night, and for the last three or four nights.  Plus lots of peeing during the day.  I've got a lot of fluid tucked in and around the body, organs, torso, feet, legs, pretty much everywhere.  It's slowly getting removed.

I may switch things up a bit, take some of the pills in the morning, some in the afternoon.  A full court pressure tactic.  Push, pull, pee.  I really have to get the water out.  The big toe is doing a bit better, but I am still limping.  My feet are almost blistered from walking on them with so much water in them.

Shoes help, but also add to the pain.  So... I can't even wear shoes every day.  I need to take a break from time to time.  I didn't wear them the last two days in hopes of being more able to walk today.  Do what you can.

Symptoms remain, of the flu.  Very mild, today.  But they exist.  Not... I figured it would either get much worse, or go away, by now.  Meh.  The flu, or colds, do what they do.  Quite pleased I found the vick's.  I've been applying that several times a day.  Wonderful stuff.  Oh, but got the first bloody nose I have had in ages, probably due to aspirin in the painkiller mix.  Still, at this point, worth the trade.  It was minor, and staunched quickly.  One more day of pain pills, maybe two depending on tomorrow.  Just one dose a day.  But it helps.  So... yeah, okay.

------

Someone keeps going on about women.  I... was no saint.  Though, even when I was a sinner, I was a picky sinner.  My devil women had to be good looking.

And I have loved women in... very strange ways.  Both as the good guy, and... not.

Some I just walked from.  They... were too right?  But we were so wrongly right together?  Or something.  Damn, but I miss... some of them.

And, yes... I saw the problems.  I tried to walk away.  I did walk away.  I know much, too much?  I see I don't want pure sin, but too?  I... can't live pure.  How to sort this thing...  All I know is I won't do wrong, to within my capacity.  I also know I can't live pure, that is beyond me.  Even including God in my daily life, intimate life, I... He, we know.

Still.  I have... changed directions.  Still on the highway to hell, just... going in the other direction.  I get lost, turned around, sometimes.  Then I... stop, check my God compass, and reset.  Backtracking sucks, but it beats surrendering to being hellbound.  Amen.

Putting aside my freak flag only works just so well.  All my women have seen more than they prefer.  But haven't minded, in some strange ways.  Dunno.  But, yes, I have always been picky.  Flaws?  All have them.  But... limited.  Good girl types, mostly.  Well, within reason of possibilities?  Hmm.

Anyway... yes.  Women are fine, if... they are fine enough.  Of no use if they aren't.  I know how to pick them, and leave the others to their ways, choices.  Cruel?  And... women aren't?  *rictus grins*  I... wouldn't have it any other way.