A difficult waking.

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With sleep being a bit off last night, this morning saw me clawing my way out of bed. I almost awoke in time to visit city hall, but not quite. I was technically up well early enough but the motor simply would not gear up to get me there, and I will not leave my home without taking a shower. Still, I should be fine for making my appointment and grabbing a couple of movies to watch at with my friend. I am also going to take the unopened parts and pieces back to Lowe's. As well, I realized when I returned home that I had somehow bought two books on wiring and none on plumbing, so one of the wiring books is being returned though to be replaced by a book on plumbing. How did that happen? I am usually pretty good at those types of things. I suppose on a hot day, with little sleep the night before, while juggling 15 oddly shaped parts, rifling through several versions of each type of guides, I simply lost track. Still, it is embarrassing. At least I have the receipts and these things should go back easily. I will not be able to fax the material, or all of it, as I did not get my printer up and running. I did not even start that job.

With the tickets purchased for my mother to visit, I decided to try and get wheelchair services set up for her. So, this morning, I got online and found the ticket information, located the most probable number to call, and called in. They wanted to know when she would be at the airport, where she would be parking, and... more information than I have. So we agreed to let her set this up. I then called to let her know the ticket(s) is purchased, the flights are non-stop (woot!), and to give her all the information she might need along with a phone number to arrange her wheelchair assistance (they actually come and pick her up!).

She has had one hip and both knees replaced (at least), two or three foot surgeries, two back surgeries, and she is not a spring chicken anymore. Still, for all that, she is still a power house. Even at our respective ages, at any time in life, I have learned when she does what she does it is best to simply get out of the way. A little guidance is sometimes very good, some planning, and maybe ensuring she has what she needs where she needs it, then HIDE! She definitely IS a force of nature. And, she is learning, if she wants real work from me, the best thing is to help me set up the work, make sure I have the tools and the job is reasonable, go over some planning, and then to get out of my way. Neither one of us is necessarily (to each other, though okay with some others it seems) good to be around when doing more difficult work. She can clean and cook like a madwoman. I can do what has to be done, if left alone (though a little pressure of expectation helps, something she is not as dependent upon... and she is a better worker at her jobs than I am at mine, no doubt).

So, a few things off my list and a greater certainty that my Mom will be visiting handled on my end. A little easing of a worry on her end. Plus the information at her fingertips so she does not have to go looking in order to finish that task, and perhaps get a quicker pass through airline security (I suggested she also make some calls so her boarding is easier). As well, in a timely fashion and with flight times that make it really easy for her and a non-stop flight. This job has been one of my few one-shot success stories in a while!

Oh, I had to tease her though. She asked about the date and time, and I initially said that it was up to her. I was sending her a broom! We both, thankfully, got a chuckle out of it. Oh, have no fear little ones, payback comes in bucketloads... and, in all truth, she is better at this game then I ever will be. Nag! :p

Cool enough.

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But it just did not work, I could not sleep. So, I finally did do some things I had hoped to do earlier. I think I could not sleep because they were on my mind, all day, in spite of which they did not get done.

I checked my credit cards, and set up payments. I am not sure what they were jabbering about, but... All of them have been being payed on time and ahead of schedule. One of them, the non-functional one, was so close to being paid off that I bunted and... done with the stinkers. The other I paid a little lightly, not realizing the other would be paid off. And, I scheduled payments on it equally lightly under the impression that I would be paying higher on the other one. I will fix that later. And, with this information comforting my weary mind, I went ahead and bought tickets for my mother to fly here and looked for tickets for my lady friend. It seems, no matter what, tickets between Thanksgiving and Christmas are simply rather high, twice as high as for my mother's tickets and she will be flying non-stop to boot. So it goes.

Now, perhaps, I can lay my head down and rest. At least I am plenty cool to rest. Maybe I ought to take a midnight swim anyway? No need to divert eyes, ladies, I would not think to do so dressed in anything less than at least trunks and perhaps a t-shirt. Probably...

Well, good night.

Just as hot today.

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Actually, it might be hotter. And yet, after switching tobacco, life is much sweeter (or cooler really) to my senses. The heat wave probably was a diabetes thing. Not that it is cool at 91 F, but it is tolerable today. Hmm, still, a window ac, or at least some fans, might help a bit more. Human physiology is such a strange duck sometimes...

Done, I think!

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A little more cutting, fitting, pushing, and shoving, but I think the faucet and drain in the kitchen is done. I had to cut and paste a bit, for sizing. I had bought several pieces just for that though, so I was not completely making up the patches as needed. Too long here, too short there, a bit too high, then... just right. I had one last problem to overcome. The old system had a plastic nut connected to the original metal drain pipe which would not budge. Not with both hands. Then again, none of the huge plumbing wrenches would grab the nut. I thought about cutting it off, or chiseling it off, but decided NO! I could just see ruining the threads on that little piece of drain pipe and having some huge repair bill while someone else figured that out. NO! So, I just used it as I was able to use it. Shoving the exit from the plumbing system I built in as far as I could and calling it good is what that ended up being. I checked, it works. No drips, no fuss, no muss... so far. I will keep a close eye on it while I begin using the kitchen to clean what I unpack, after I do the dishes that had piled up while I was messing with the thing.

I took care of a little business today as well. I needed some numbers to fax a few items for insurance business of various natures. I got those numbers, I then asked for and received the rest of the steps to do a few more of the processes required. With the fax numbers, a letter I will need to write and print, and a drive into town, I should be done with that, but probably tomorrow. This also means seeing if my computer, now that it has been fixed(?), will use the printer, by the hardware and software being set up... somehow. Oh, and I found out that the policies I canceled due to creating a new policy with my house insurance... is still active and pulling money out automatically. They did not end that set of policies on my car or apartment (the one I have not lived in for a year) in spite of me changing my address with them when I moved, changing policies recently, or asking them to cancel those even more recently. It is not like I do not trust them. Hmm, I definitely did not just say that.

I still need to call my Mom (after I get her tickets, sometime), contact my credit card companies (one of them I am just paying off as they canceled me a long time ago) as they are yammering about something. Then I need to... do more than I can possibly get done in a lifetime in the next day or two, or that is how it feels. You know, it is at times like these when the whole notion that an extra hole in the head actually has some merit. Ha! Too busy for that though. Is that part of the trick of life, to stay so busy you cannot realize you are hopelessly outgunned, outnumbered, and against it? Maybe... maybe... Well, the good news is I AM learning to ride that bike. *look Ma, no hands... wee...*

Bah, I am just fussing. Anyway... I do not think a trip to town sounds fun at all. I have a day off, it is too late to get much done there, I have things I can do here at home, and traffic at this time until 22:00 or so will be insane. So, I might dig into the credit card problems, now that I have found my secrets scratch pad. I might do a round or three in the yard, picking up sticks and watching Sam hunt wild and crazy grasses, shadows, and very possibly me. I could then look over what means I have regarding getting my mother tickets to visit. If I actually get any of that done, I will almost be surprised. Who says I need a dubious woman to remind me of what I have not done, what I said I would do, or to hassle me in any other way? Well, actually I probably do. But the stinkpots are in my head. Thus the story of Athena... Yeah, and it goes with my whole '...hole in the head.' thesis too. Please, just hit my head with a hammer to make her go away! Ah well, go figure.

I best get to procrastinating if I am going to get any of this done by next Friday. Later!

A shower does help.

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Too late to save the night completely, but a cool shower helps. I think, tonight if I am hot again at 20:00, I will take a whole shower, then if that does not work, take a body shower later. I hate going to bed with a wet head, so only took a 'body' shower last night, as I was trying to sleep immediately. It did see me, after a bit, to sleep. But a whole shower would have been far better. Well, there is that. I did not get to sleep until around 3:00 and was able to wake at 10:30~11:00.

I did not wake well enough to get to city hall, but with a new plan, I think tomorrow will... Hmm, no... The 4th of July thing may mean everything is closed until Monday or Tuesday? Still, I can try and do a dry run. I am just waking up now. My work list has not been started. Well, I have more daylight, so...

Have a good day.

It is me.

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Hot!

I can feel the cool, nearly cold, low 50's air around me. It does nothing to help me cool off. I am burning up. I might as well be sitting in my vehicle, parked in a big parking lot, at noon, somewhere where the temperature is in the 80's or 90's. It is not a fever though. I suppose that will not matter if I do not cool down. If any stress goes on long enough, it morphs into normal illness, or creates similar affects. Cause and affect, in some instances, can be interchanged. A cool to cold shower might help, though I have seen that have the reverse effect as well, causing me to become warmer... not always though. And it feels humid though I am pretty sure it is not.

I used to get this... thing, and sometimes fevers at other times, before I was diagnosed with diabetes. Long before any such diagnosis, actually. So I suppose I should not be so quick to chalk it up to diabetes now. Still, with what I realize now to be a steady 'diet' of sugary goop for several weeks, it is possible. Unless I can cool down though, I will get no sleep again tonight. Perhaps some organs or a large number of random cells are overworking for some unknown reason. Ah, my brain! I am at genius level! Bah! I will take that shower, try to sleep, if still to hot, hit the shower again.

I have no appointments tomorrow, but I would like to get to city hall, get the plumbing in, take care of a few other items, and then review the hiker's guide and make plans for my first hike as a relaxing afternoon event. Oh, and pick up some sticks in the yard. That could be good. A lawn mower would still rip my hand up, but I want to have one purchased and have the yard ready for mowing by the time my hand is ready. As well, I am going to try and speak with the gentleman who so kindly offered to help me finish moving to see if we can get that finished. He would need help, as I am still out of commission regarding moving even 25 pound weights, let alone those between that and the 100 pounders. My only other option is to pay a mover service $170 to $255, plus tax and whatever else, to do the task.

I might find myself, again, in town tomorrow as well (the other other town). I need to get some faxes to the insurance agency, to several different departments. I will see what I can get done. Less if I cannot sleep well or at all, of course.

On the good side sliced finger, auto accident, the move, troubles with plumbing, being behind on many tasks, the move, and whatever else have not dampened my spirits or caused me to simply fold up and quit. I have failed to wake due to sleep troubles, but I get back to what I can do as soon as possible. I have found work-arounds for those things I cannot do. I have continued to plot, plan, and execute jobs, and add to the list in some sort of reasonably thought out manner when more time demanding tasks are finished. And, I have not gotten down a bit, if a little hassled by the pace sometimes. Not bad, not bad at all. Maybe I am not, maybe I never will be, a well oiled machine. I do seem, though, to at least be a happy, slow, patient, tugboat type of machine... chug-a chug-a chug...

Good night, Anne.

A long hot day.

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I could not rise until well past noon. I was an half hour late to my appointment but it worked out. I then tried to call my friend for shooting. He did not answer. So, to Lowe's, where I got the parts I thought I might need, picked up a couple of books on plumbing and home wiring, looked at their weed eaters, and just had a little fun. After getting what I needed, I tried to call my friend again. Again, no answer. So, to stall for time and fill my belly, I went to McDonalds and ate my meal there. After that, another call. No answer, again, so I left a message. I then drove home.

Ah, the plumbing. It is not yet done. However, when looking over why I could not seem to replicate the previous handy work, I realized it would be best not to replicate it. After what I have learned so far, it looks like the crazy configuration was due to a space problem probably created by the last guy to do the work HAVING CUT OFF THE OLD DRAIN SYSTEM UP TO THE CONNECTION TO THE SINK AND TRYING TO PUT A NEW ONE IN ON TOP OF THE REMNANTS OF THE OLD ONE! Yeah, okay. I then checked to see if my system will fit in, as is. Yes. It fits quite fine, especially without trying to recreate the last debacle of a repair job, then having to try and bend things around so as to fit in remnants which then require at least two more bends to get the thing to fit, which it would naturally without the remnant pieces! Wow, okay.

However, just as I was putting on the knee pads (oh, wonderful invention by the way!), my friend called. I suggested we go shooting. He was not sure, since it was raining in Logan. I looked out, and sure enough. Still, it looked as though it would pass soon, so I jostled the notion a bit and he must have looked out too as he finally agreed. I asked where he had been. He said he was at an appointment, that he had told me about it last time, and that when he had suggested I visit afterwards that I had agreed. I told him, yeah, I do that a lot. I am, after all, a pure breed guy. We chuckled.

So, before I could do more than realize the plumbing was going to be fine (most likely), I headed into town. We went to the place, or at least along the same road, we went last time. This time I did not drive all the way through but went about a quarter of the way over the pass. I found a place to set up shop, so to speak, and I put up the target. We shot a good little while, talked about guns, women being funny types, and whatever else came to mind. After that, we headed in to town for a meal. We went to a smorgasbord. The last time he had been there, they were much like Golden Coral. Not any more. It was Chinese food. I found enough that I could and did like to fill me up. He simply was not interested, so ate very little. I even tried a couple of things I had never tried before... mystery food. The only thing I did not like there were something familiar, the prawns. They were overcooked to the point of being mushy. They did not have a rotten taste or anything, though they really did not have any true flavor at all. Perhaps they were merely frozen too long.

I had planned to stop at Wal-Mart for some cat supplies afterward, but completely forgot and simply took my friend home. How rude, as I think he looks forward to going to the store with someone else once in a while. By the time he remembered, we were probably pretty close to his home, so he did not say anything. Anyway, I let him out and headed home myself. About halfway home, I realized I needed those cat supplies so I turned around, waded through the Wallyworld hordes, and got my supplies. While I was checking out, the cashier, a heavy set frumpy looking woman, offered me advice on hair balls... pumpkin (in the can if the cat will eat it) or apple cider pills, a quarter of one, crushed and added to the food, she suggested. I thanked her heartily. She has a 24, 22, 19, and 17 year old cat, among others. Her three sons had all gotten cats at their apartments when going to school only to have to get rid of them, so along with her usual entourage, she ended up with 3 or more extra felines.

Oh, something else I realized earlier, perhaps yesterday, about my heat situation... It might, oddly, have to do with the type of chewing tobacco I was forced to buy last time. They did not have my usual type, but they had another long cut version of Copenhagen. Another customer recommended with it, with his lip half full, so, I took it. Ugh, it tastes like Skoal. I have been using that for a while. By the way, did I mention Skoal is a sweet tasting tobacco? It is. There are no indications of what they use to sweeten it (or the Copenhagen taste-alike), but my guess is that it is sugar, corn syrup, or such. Yes, I am quite sure that having sugar in my mouth all day for a week or two might just jump my glucose level a wee. And, when my glucose level jumps, out goes my personal cooling system, somehow. So, today, I finally located my regular (diet, ha!) Copenhagen longcut. I still have a can or two of the other, and I will not waste it. But I will start using it as a rarity until it is gone rather than using it full time. Now that the military and myself have stopped trying to kill me, has the rest of the world taken up the cause? Could BE.

Well, that is all. Have a good, deliciously cool, restful, peaceful night and sleep. You are all blessed, you little stinkers!

Ah, to the lighter side.

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Women have been on my mind, for a hundred and one reasons. The obvious, of course. They are attractive to most of us, and that is as it should be. But there is more. The conversations about equality, thoughts on past relationships, and some time as I figure out how to sleep right again and being awake but still too tired to truly do anything useful other than thinking.

It seems that I either love or like women, both on an individual basis and as a group. I suspect that if I find a woman I both love and like at the same time and most of the time, I will have found Her. Why, I sometimes wonder, do I keep looking? Then again, it is not as if most of my womens cheated on me, stole from me, lied to me (mostly), or did other bad things. Most of my loves just went away or would not go with me in my travels. And yet, I have never found Her, or even thought I had. I found love. I found companionship. But I never found the right mix and more.

Today at the chiropractor, my doc suggests he knows a woman who might be right for me. He seems to know, though I am pretty sure I never mentioned it, that I am looking for a woman who has never been married and does not have children. He thinks he might know one. All I know about her so far is that she is not bus sized, she has never been married, and she is 36 years old. I asked if he knew if she wanted children. It was something he did not know. To be honest, I am a little excited. I hope she is interested in meeting with me and going to the park, meeting at a museum, or having coffee or tea somewhere.

I will not date, not in the traditional sense of the word (modern traditional). My idea is to, once we are on some kind of level of mutual trust, to do work with each other. If she needs some painting, a few (minor) repairs, or something, let us go do that. If I need some help raking the yard and picking up sticks, let us do that. If we do these things for a while and all goes well, then a dinner after might be nice once in a while. I simply refuse to wine and dine and court in a loud and obnoxious manner. Hmm, gardening... I wonder if I could help her replant some potters, plant some flowers, or help with her garden, and learn? Anyway, that is the plan going in. If, of course, she is even interested in meeting.

Anyway, that has added to my thoughts about women. My anger with women is not something simple. My distrust is deeply rooted and is based upon living in a feminized world which I reject outright. This, of course, is my baggage. It is something with which I must contend on my own. And yet, she will, as almost all women these days, exhibit some or all of the issues with which I must contend. I will not lie, I cannot lie, not for hamburgers today knowing I could skip paying tomorrow.

Women are, too, precious to me. Beautiful, talented in ways and crafts and designs I cannot and do not understand. If humble, they can wow me with the power of that. If kind, I can be a teddy bear. But what they are is not about me. What they are is as distant from me, in truth, as the moon is from the sun. They are their own entity. If they decide to be cooperative, they can make any task nearly infinitely lighter. Or, they can conversely destroy the prospects for success. Their need for attention and their want of it is a balancing act, that to be truthful, it takes a man to handle. Without that balance most women fall into a hypersensationalism where touch, smell, feel, scent, and such are all they crave, all they can understand, all they want.

Man, without woman, becomes craven in our own ways. We need attention, but in vastly different ways. Sex, of course, is more important to us, but affection on a regular basis is too. The feeding and handling of a man, by comparison, is a simple task. Does this bore women? Do they need drama and shouting and disagreement to... maintain sanity or balance or a proper fit in the world?

Anyway, women are beautiful. Even the homely and this and that... Most women have some nature about them which can be quite good. It is not merely a physical thing, or something for my or other men's interest. It is something special that is all their own. I want to be around that, and to some degree, share in a part of that. Much like smelling blossoms on a fine day. But what is beautiful, resplendent, charming, and all not only can but must, as the laws of physics seem to imply here somehow, have an equal and opposite. Can I deal with that?

I do think men have been missing some of their responsibility. Though too the state has annulled many of the rights and responsibilities, and disturbing the family balance with unbalanced law has made it difficult for men to know where that line is. Are women, essentially, married to the state through a man? Is the state the arbiter of home control, having an iron fist and a gun? Yes, to both. So, finding a woman who can be trusted means finding a woman with her own vested interest in the marriage, a fact which strips stay at homes moms of worth to a degree. And yet, that is all most family oriented men want. I do not want a working woman who is a part time wife. She then, beyond being married through me to the state, is also beholding to another (usually) man and job on top of that.

Anyway, just so you know, I do find women to be fascinating, funny, beautiful, sensuous, well designed creatures who can make absolutely world changing helpmates. I fail to understand a word out of their lips at times... for several and varied reasons. I do not always trust but could learn to have faith in a particular woman. And I am amazed at just who they are, what they are, and what they can accomplish. Equal to men? Again, no. Better than men, sometimes... sometimes... At one time, much more often.

Blathering... Again. I will... figure it all out later.

No sleep, it is too hot.

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Should have guessed, but it is the way it is. I cannot cool off. At least I know, for sure, tonight, why I cannot sleep. Boogers and dreadnoughts.

I did join a Catholic online singles thing. Most are divorced, a few annulments, and some never married but with children. I think, out of nine pages of prospects, two or three had never been married and do not have children. As well, in a totally different look, all but perhaps 5 where over 40. No dice there, as I see it. But I did want to look. There is another Catholic singles online group, and I may sign up for it too. From what I am seeing though, I cannot imagine paying for membership. There are almost none who I would pay to write. With only 2 or maybe 3 who might, and that is tenuous but might, fit the bill and knowing the odds on any one particular woman fitting in, the odds are not worth the cost.

So many women there are either openly feminist or expressing some versions of it to various degrees. First thing... a piece of advise to old women looking for men after having proved incapable of holding onto (at least) one marriage... do NOT discuss your feminist attitude. Do that when you merely want sex at the local meat market, uhnkay? There is a reason you are in your condition. No one wants leftovers, but more leftovers that are revolting. Proud to be a woman? That is fine. But it has nothing to do with finding a mate. If you are trying to get some eggs boiled, do not dip them in iced water and hope. Though, I do hope they get the men they want (and deserve).

I guess I was curious, could not sleep, and had been thinking to join some time back. I did not realize you could join for free or that there would be many on it in this state. Both wrong, though I do not think I will do anything with that one. I may join the other one, the free part, and see if there is much different there. A lot of lonely cats out there, I must say. And seemingly for good reason.

I am no great prize, unless the woman is looking for a meal ticket, really. But that is precisely the type of woman I want nothing to do with. What I do have is a solid sense of what a man is and does, what a family should be, and that I want to be in one. I am not, however, ever going to start with an assumption that we can merely be friends and that will make it. As spouses, there has to be some solid differences, limits, and rules. Not enforcing or upholding those, as if just friends, offers only certain death to a marriage to my mind. I may truly simply be too old to find a still reasonable, unmarried, woman who has no children, and still has at least half of a brain. I do not need Einsteinette, but some of the interviews were... Well, it looked like they were drunk when they wrote them, or something. For women supposedly having better language skills... I tell ya, I am not seeing that either. No, I am no prize winning writer either, but I have a pretty good idea where nouns, verbs, and punctuation marks go.

Without sleep, I am not sure what is going to be done tomorrow. I do have an appointment which I will make, probably. After which I will probably go to Lowe's for the plumbing needs and then pick up my friend for an afternoon of target practice. I will be taking my target setup, one of my .22 rifles, and my .22 pistol. No, nothing fancy, but it works. It gets me out of the house, out of the valley, into the mountains, and keeps me on target. It also gets another man out who has no other means of escaping the stinking (as okay as Logan is, it is still a...) city for a while. And, actually, as I have said before... for having declining vision, iron level problems in his blood, a slow leak of blood, and at his age... he shoots better than one would believe. He is pretty good, if too his methods are sometimes questionable regarding shooting, where to shoot, when to shoot, and what to shoot. He is, how to say this rightly... old school. Maybe right, maybe wrong, but I am strictly uptight about all of it. Shoot to eat or target. Use safeties (yes, my XD has them, if they are... user functional rather than applied). WEAR HEARING PROTECTION, ALWAYS (I swear he tries to get a round off before I have those on... I have, however, made it quite clear that even if he is shooting a .22, do not do that, which seems to have cleared that up). Anyway, he is one guy I like to make sure gets to shoot. Him not shooting would be, I do not know, maybe like having an original unmodified muscle car... in a museum. Why, it is almost a sin.

After that, home and to the plumbing if I am not dead. I will have to be looking for solutions to the heat here. I think most people can handle it, or simply 'rest' through the night. I cannot. At some point, temperature wise, I simply cannot sleep, no matter what. I end up cooling off, but not until late in the night or early in the morning really. And it does mess up my plans, schedule, and everything. Then again, I need to take care the other way. If I allow it to be too cool, I will sleep too much as well. I really need to get a good thermometer and begin checking those things. It is not choice, it is metabolic in some way. I cannot really get past it, that is just the way my system works at this point. Age? Weight? Health issues? I do not know, though I do not think it has always been this way.

Yes, well. I think I will go tinker on something else. Good night, Bane.

Well, plumbing...

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No, it is not completed. Then again, I did not suspect it would be finished tonight (or whenever I got to it). There are a few pieces in the puzzle that do not quite make sense. So, back to the store. I will simply have to look through what I can, as store help seems both very preoccupied and somewhat undergunned. If I really cannot find what I need, I will ask for someone who does this kind of work. Although I am starting to understand that no man really knows enough about enough of this stuff to get any of it absolutely right. As I was leaving the store last time, I had some small talk with a store worker who saw me juggling my purchases and losing and offered a hand. Something about something, then, yes, a plumbing job caused by a faucet job, and it all looking dubious. A quick grin and he said, "Good luck, we are open till 10!" and a hearty chuckle. So... I am sort of on my own.

Still, I have it pretty well set up. The basic shape will work, though with a few added pieces for a secure connection to the sink I will be getting two more bendy pieces in case those other pieces throw the height of the exit pipe connection off. The hacksaw works, but it leaves a very rough finish. I might consider using my Dremel to smooth that a bit, or not. I simply need to make sure the sink attachment will hold the weight of the drain piping, though with the assistance of the drain outlet connection. Never mind, other than that I have to make sure the thing is stable enough against gravity, with and without water in it, and watertight. If I ever get to re-designing the kitchen, I will use metal plumbing if at all possible. Plastic is, well, plastic. Oh, I am sure, that is just as difficult and harder to cut. But once in place, the attachments are firmware, not... software, or hopeware.

It is not too late, I am hoping to get to bed and be able to sleep. A couple of beers might help. It is still rather warm, and my wound is starting to be fitful. A few more problems and I will begin to understand Custard's ordeal, albeit with wakefulness as the enemy that surrounds me.

Good night, I hope, Hawk.

To the plumbing, he said.

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And not a butt muscle twitched. Here I sit, here I sat, right where I wrote what I was sure I was going to do. Well, yes, it happens to the best of us. I, however, am not among those! I will not beat myself up, if I do have some disappointment in the lack of action. I could not sleep last night and I could not wake up, pretty much at all, today. Mind works, body quit. Perhaps I have been shoveling too much coal into the engine of a worn out, run down, damaged device and needed the break. I can never be sure.

I guess that is why we have tomorrows, a little foresight and afterthought, and hope. And, the day is not yet done. I might get to the plumbing before the day is over. No guarantees about anything at this moment. I am not even sure I will be able to sleep. I think it is the heat. We had a little rain and lightning storm pass over then leave just as the sun is setting, so maybe that cooled things off enough for a better rest tonight. And hopefully my off schedule blip into night owl land did not upset the corrective maneuvers I have been attempting in waking earlier.

Sometimes it feels like I am, and am working, on a puzzle without all the pieces. I am both key parts of the puzzle and yet subject to the puzzle as a whole. As I have said though, out here, in the West, more of the pieces of that puzzle are coming together, seemingly all their own. Medicines distracted from that, when tried. And the slow down in winter did not allow as much access as might be more useful to added success. Still, the engine is picking back up from where I left it late last fall. It is not perfect, it will never be perfect, but I am really hoping and working toward a better tomorrow... even when things like this happen. Maybe more so in times like this?

Plumbing? Maybe.

Ah, maybe I am onto something.

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Now, this possibly will be quite boring for most readers. I am doing a little bit of writing about myself regarding some of my social and possibly other issues in life. This is mostly just me trying to track down some of my thoughts so as to get those in one place and reason them through. Read at your own peril.

Today, while I was pondering the pile of work I have to do this week, this month, this year, and into the future (without regards to cost in this analysis), I picked through a number of the projects and work and decided how best I should go about each of several of these in a step-by-step manner. Planning stages mind you, knowing full well that planning is the first step to the trial and error reality of actually doing any job. From how best to go about some yard work, setting up my reloading station while still using that area as my camping and survival gear repository, filling out the garage work space with benches and storage (on the cheap, actually, on that... and well to be honest), and a few other tasks. Of course, while noting, that I was just sitting there thinking and doing nothing and that most of today has been a waste, in part because I could not sleep, so knowing my self control and will power are not always superior. All that aside...

What I noted was that my mind works in a very contrarian manner. I do not look at just what could work, I look at that and try to find what does not work about that. I then develop a work-around, and then dissemble that idea. I keep doing that... well, continually. It does not stop when I actually get to a project. While doing it, I begin looking at the realities "on the ground" as some like to say. So, after hours, days, weeks, even months of planning... I am still ready to re-develop my plans. More than willing, perhaps too willing at times, to change my floor plan, ground attack, thesis, or whatever you wish to call it.

Now, there are aspects of this which are good. Plans always fail to include some variables, sometimes by choice, sometimes by accident, but that is simply how the process has to work for anything to go forward and then be completed. My ability to include more of the correct variables is directly related to my experience in the field of endeavor in which I am planning then working. Plumbing, so far, has been... mediocre at best. Still, I do learn and plumbing planning and work will improve. I am excellent, compared to many others at my same level of experience, at realizing something is not going to work, to a degree even in the planning phases, but more importantly on the ground in action, and taking steps to mitigate my oversights and misjudgments. I can and will do that without second guessing myself on a personal level, knowing full well what I have already written.

The downside is that I spend too much time in planning at times. Or, put more honestly, I plan until the job is no longer needed. Yes, I hope the dang problem will go away, I will figure out how to pay for it, or other issues will loom large enough that they take priority. Lazy? Yes and no. To the casual observer, and sometimes in truth, I am. But more, I know I have a limited set of resources and only so many functional hours, and that these are often less than what a typical man has AFTER he comes home from work. Still, this whole region of implementing planning, or really, getting to the action, is mushy for me. I know that, my Mom knows that, and most of you readers know that.

The whole point of this is to set out my good aspects along with the bad and take a look at how these things figure into my social interactions. And, so, here it goes.

When I do interact, I must seem like a sour puss of some not small nature. Most things presented to me, more essentially when they are handed to me as fact, are almost outright rejected. More so the less I know about the area being discussed. I begin looking for faults in any set of circumstances, beliefs, processes, etc. Part of this is probing for more information, though I can see where it might be considered... priggish. I am, essentially, saying that I do not believe, and demanding* or asking* for information, proof, evidence, and such (*depending on how the one who states something I object about takes my doubts and questions). As well, I let all I do happen to know about the topic go and assume a stance of ignorance, so that they may "fill me in" on said topic. After some level of mutual understanding of their assessments, I then bring in what I do (think) I know on the topic and we begin the process again.

This type of behavior, to people who are certain they know what they are talking about, must come across as very rude, quite uncivil, racist, or whatever modernists like to call non-believers. And, to be honest, by modernist standards, some of that is probably quite true. Instead of offering proof, however, usually what I face are statements questioning my personal character, doubts about my understandings, but never proof or even an attempt at logic to cover the gap from where I am to where they are.

What this tells me is that both my style and more fact and logic based assessment, devolution, then reconstruction of anything from tasks to social issues, today, is totally against the grain that some things are not to be questioned. Even with people who will "tolerate" differences of opinions, there is not an ability or an interest in outreach, logical assessment reviews, or such. Simply put, my methods are not social... or socially acceptable to a group or class who simply know what they know (where taught, but they seem to have forgotten that it was simply taught, there was never any logic involved on their part, and probably not on the part of their own teachers, until you get to Ayers or Alinksy. And their ultimate teacher's plans have nothing to do with what they have forced into, and is now the rule for, the US education system. What most people do not know is that the teachings contradict, completely, the lip service words that come out of their mouths and what they think they believe with their hearts.)

Anyway, there are other issues, even when not political in nature. Simply the way I think, how I evolve my assessments, and then how I reposition my strategies is an enigma to most who travel the halls of my conversations. There is nothing, it seems, to attack in my thinking. It must, for them, be like being blind while trying to strike at a shadowy figure they can only hear, but the area is so full of echoes they cannot tell quite where to strike. For my part, this is not (consciously for certain) a deliberate psychic acrobatic act, it is merely how I work... until it is time to strike, work, pronounce, or... whatever. I simply do not work the way Joey and Janey and Paul work... or I have gone farther (whether in the right or wrong direction, I may possibly never know), then where most people go.

Yes, I get lost there, too. I think that is part of what happens when I become accidentally transcendental for a bit. I get lost in the shadows of my mind, unable because of the echoes, to know where to go, and then spend "time" simply 'in there'. Oh well. I think I stumbled across a little gem of my own understanding, if too I am not sure it helps me in any manner change the present or future. I truly doubt this helps anyone else either... But it is out of my head and the shadows are receding.

Hmm, to the plumbing! Bah!

Okay, but I did do some things.

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No, the drain pluming is not installed yet. I did buy, I think, more than enough to get the job done, including a hacksaw as I saw where the pipe lengths were leading but saw few options BUT to by the ones I did. Instead of a lengthwise run of pipes, I decided on a t-intersect dual drain connection, if that makes sense? That should allow me to easily cut out the odd rectangular end area (which, because it closed on itself too tightly, did not allow the pipes to completely seal). In any case, tomorrow is the day for it, since I have no appointments but need to make a run into town to fax a few items.

Tomorrow is going to be somewhat busy, but without scheduling issues. I can do what I can when I can without a disturbance in the flow that appointments or other obligations can be. I am hoping to again rise early, get to city hall and get utilities in my name, then come back and work on the drain plumbing. If I need anything more for that job, I will get that as I go in to fax a few items to various insurance agencies. While in town, I hope to remember kitty litter. I am not sure what kind to get, what is best for the cat, easiest to scoop, and... I guess I do not give a sh... hoot about what environmentalists think since I cannot trust them being so embedded in the "liberal" cause as a whole so as to be dysfunctional as an advisory group. Anyway, that is the plan.

I picked up the parts and called my friend about watching a few movies and having some chow. He needed a little time to rebandage his foot, so I first went to the bookstore. I purchased a rather good road atlas of Utah, with trailheads, offroad paths, and other useful information for a newb, or noob if you like, adventurer. I cannot seem to help myself. I seem to drop money by merely looking out my window at times. Anyway, it will go well with my hikers guide. Which, tomorrow, if it fits in, I plan to peruse in order to pick my first hike. Yes, it will be shorter, yes, it will be one with little elevation change, but it will be a start. Then I will pick a target date to do my first of, hopefully, many hikes.

If this week goes really well, I get the sink set up to completion, take care of my insurance and other paperwork to completion, and get my kitchen and bedroom (to the degree possible) set up, I will take the next week off. Yes, off. No work or scheduled work for one week to give my hand a final chance to heal. However, though I will not be working, I do plan to begin my forays on foot to the local "lake" (dam). A 3 to 5 mile hike there, a bit of swimming (or really playing in the water initially) to cool off and still be active, and then the walk home. I will NOT be doing that every day, more like every other day (as an initial plan, to be amended as necessary).

This week, beyond the appointments, I will be visiting my friend Wednesday and Friday. Wednesday we will go shooting. Friday might well be another movie night. We only watched one of the two movies I took over tonight, that being Artificial Intelligence. The next movie on the queue is Matrix (the first of the series). I think my movies are a bit freaky deaky to my friend, but he ends up rather enthralled... when he does not fall asleep. *grins* He is still not sure about me. I do think he knows more about me than what he will ever say. If not an attentive Mormon, he still has attachments, and through those attachments, he knows more. It seems he gets his bits and pieces through slightly unreliable sources though. I fired a test shot over his bow the other day and I thought he was going to shat his pants. hehe I really should not, but I have to check my baffles. Call my Crazy Ivan if you must. Woot! Woot! Chugga-chugga-chugga... hehehe I do enjoy the games. Bah, he is healthy enough for it and plays his own version, so, I am not sweating it.

Oh, that movie, Artificial Intelligence... Normally, a movie so wrongly lefty in every way, I toss immediately. But this one, when I get past most of that (though I still grumble at the obvious idiocy of anything hinting even at center, let alone left of center) I... I do not know. I know that kid. I am that kid. Disposable? Yes, I suppose I am. I was left at the heap, and I have some belief that genocide was attempted. That attempt may well have doomed my hope of being in the right mind to find a woman with whom to develop a family together with in time to do so. My only hope, I guess, is that the fourth time is the charm. I certainly hope, as I sometimes wonder, that I am not in hell already. And that if one of those times (how many people put a loaded shotgun in their mouth and pull the trigger?) I did actually die, that this is purgatory. How would I know? How would I know hell or purgatory, necessarily? And, yes, that too comes up once in a while.

Anyway, it is a bit past when I want to go down. I have a lot I want to do, hope to do, plan to do tomorrow. Oh, and branches out of the yard as well sometime this week, so I can use a weed eater or mower or... flamethrower... to get the grass down to less than 2 feet. Ugh. I really walked into a mess in some ways. And with the hand, I am not honestly sure I can either weed whip or mow as will be needed. Anyway, I will do what I can, when I can, how I can. And I really am getting at it.

Good night, Gunny King.

Another early rise.

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I am not quite an official early riser, or even an earlier riser, though it is headed that way. I am quite pleased however. Mainly that I reversed a sleep trend, and usually I cannot do that. For me to get up earlier, I have usually had to go around the clock on a slow march toward resetting my 'clock'. Sometimes having other people around can help me get up earlier, through fear of a sort. But even that is short lived if I am with them for too long. The fear does not go away, but the power of it, or more the affects of adrenalin from it wax and then wane. After I wake up, the plumbing under the sink is coming out. Because of the shape it is in, this should be a rather minor part of the job.

Good day.

Hand hurts, again.

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But, I got that faucet in, no leaks in that part of the system, so it is almost a go for the kitchen. There is, in fact, a leak. But it is not the faucet in any way. It is, of course, the drain. No problems, as after working under there just a short bit, I knew the drain plumbing, if you could call it that, was going to have to go. Tomorrow morning, when I get up and even before I shower, I am taking that thing out and putting it in a bag, marking the parts so I can reassemble at the hardware store (if necessary). I do not think any type of caulking, glue, or even very good connectors were used in the production of that drain. As well, there is an extra twist or two that really shouldn't be needed (I will check with the hardware people, but I am dubious about them).

The big part, to my mind, is done. The kitchen will indeed go forward this week, and early in it I suspect. For this job, I am going to stay on it as long and hard as I have to stay on it. Three trips to the hardware store? So be it. Five, I will not like it but I will do it. I plan to have this plumbing job done tomorrow.

By the way, I am becoming more and more suspicious that my host and hostess are indeed reading this blog. No problems, I do not care who reads here and welcome the interest. I am sure they have great chuckles about some of it and great woe about other parts. Why do I suspect this? Well, tonight at dinner, something seemed different. And when the Mrs. spoke of the work she was doing, she included the fact that she was doing the linoleum floor in the kitchen, I think, of one of the houses they are working on. When she was discussing it though, she looked at me a little differently. There was something in that look, as I have been pondering (as you all know I do quite often) that told me she had read what I wrote and about my ire and about my disbelief in equality and why. She did not have an answer for it, so either accepted it or just let it go. But she lost some of her fighting spirit on the matter of work and equality, at the least.

Now, I actually do feel bad if I put the Mr. in a bind. I am sure he has worked very hard at finding a balance. Saying what is needed in a diplomatic front, to make being with a woman less work and more pleasant (as it very well can be). But, if they read here, he will have to go through a boatload of questions and answers on various directly and indirectly related material all over again. As well, I feel bad about disturbing her boat. She has a nice pat view of the world and things that rock that boat cause a lot of doubt and discomfort. Really, that was not my intention, otherwise I would have directly said what I thought. Still, I believe what I said and stand by it.

On another topic, we discussed Marines. There was something derogatory going on and I plainly stated that Marines are not just some of the best fighters, considering they go in when no other significant force often can or will, they are extremely humane. I may not always agree with Jarheads, like their Leatherneck attitude, or even like an individual in the Corpse, I do respect the general notion of who they are, what they do, and how they do it in a deep and personal manner. They, in fact, are my brothers. I will NOT accept the anti-Americanism tripe perpetrated against them for the sake of... anything. I did not go off loudly or angrily, I merely drew the line in the sand, gave them a very solid and healthy pat on the back, and honored them as I could, and then left it at that. It, for me, is not a debate.

Oh, fie, I understand. I am not even sure if they do. She would not have been allowed into academia, at all, if she did not hold these beliefs. Find me 10% of academics (especially before they gain tenure) who support the troops and what they are doing, even if the troops happen to be doing nothing, on any campus in the US (or very possibly abroad). I know the score. I am not sure most academic types do. They were picked FOR their beliefs and any who do not hold them are excluded. Period. I have heard better, and actually quite good and wholly based, debates from the Vatican then I have ever heard on a campus. How many Summers have to be fired for merely mentioning the obvious, women cannot do math or science, for people to realize how dogmatic the education community is (and wrongly, because women do not do as well in application math and science (though they are fine at regurgitating the taught, but as I said, not being able to functionally use it)?

Proof? Let us start with brain size, then go on to other psychological factors (which, at the risk of their careers, scientists and psychologists are coming out with). Every women? No. Most? Yes. Much like interest in sports participation. Hmm, that reminds me, Title IX (I think) has been approved for science and math education at the college level. What does this mean? It means fewer math and science students. Much like sports, when there is a forced parity of numbers in areas women are not interested in entering (even with full ride scholarships offered for the frivolous women's sports), there will only be slightly more women interested in calculus, engineering, biology, and the other hard sciences. So, to create parity, slots will be cut, meaning fewer science and math degrees. Either that or a flood of hopelessly useless degrees in math history and science art, or something. Yummy for us. I do suspect we will see a huge decline in the scientific field shortly, followed by an attempt to modify or negate the effects of the decree through the creation of worthless "science and math programs". Ha, I wonder how many women will be working off $20k, $40k, and even $100k degrees... working at McDonalds or something? Ugh... talk about a drain on the economy though...

The reason that hand hurts is that when I have to apply a lot of pressure with one hand, it somehow distributes that pressure to the other hand. I knew this, to some extent, but during the work I realized just how much pressure that could be. I nearly opened up the wound channel (as the valves are VERY cranky). As well, the number of things I did with my right hand, requiring a decent bit of strength, over the work effort, really did add up. Still, the hard part is done. The drain will not be as difficult, at all.

Anyway, time for bed. I am up WAY TOO LATE!

Ah, the needle in the haystack.

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The financial uncertainty that we are in, in my humble belief, began as a means of conquering China. Or more, of forcing China to change a very dubious fiscal policy. A policy that was problematic to US, and even European, concerns. I do believe that the junk equities (?) traded concerning risky home loans, among many other practices, were calculated to change that policy at the very real threat of world wide financial ruin. Much like the old nuclear threat, this was a very serious showdown. Most people know nothing of it, most people who played a part do not and never will understand it, but that does not change the fact.

Does that mean the world, or even US economy will now simply smile, get up, and heal itself? Well, no. First, there will have to be a bending of what is considered public policy, both domestic and foreign affairs will need to be rearranged, and it will take time to get out the useful idiots and policies, and begin building and stabilizing the various economies and economic partnerships.

My evidence comes in two doses. And, no, Obama was not part of the planning, progress, or in what is about to take place. He was a useful idiot who has outlived his usefulness and will be plagued with failure after failure, except where his policy suggestions are considered useful. His social and political actions are not considered useful or important, no matter what he actually ends up doing (to the real power brokers).

The first piece of evidence, which goes completely against what Obama and the the rest of the yahoo freaks in Capital Hill are trying to do. "Advanced economies have committed to fiscal plans that will at least halve deficits by 2013 and stabilize or reduce government debt-to-GDP ratios by 2016," said the G20 Toronto Summit Declaration which was issued on Sunday. To put it bluntly, this means everything quota boy has done and everything he has planned to do has been shuffled into the circular file. Agreeing on targets means nothing to the Dunce in Chief, but when he cannot get legislation through, with strong (nearly absolute) majorities in the Senate and House, you know his "productive" days are over.

And, what precisely was the Chinese policy over which we went to global financial war regarding? It was China pegging their monetary value to ours. Whenever the dollar would go up, their currency would go up proportionally. Same with when it went down. The first move in that war, after they pegged their money to ours was a devaluation of the US greenback. I started suspecting that this was the case all along after watching some of the irregularities coming out of the Fed, big banking, lending practices, and some other actions and processes.

Now, what has changed? VC day, that is, Victory over China has finally occurred. I think that is why the G20 did what it did. The two are very close in time and, if you think just a bit, very related to one another. What this means, in the end, is anybody's guess. Though I think, over the course of months and years, the casualties of this war will be buried, the policies which were meant to stifle the economy and devalue the greenback will be... changed, and life will begin to get back to normal. Oh, here is that piece.

Anyway, on to the faucet. I really hope to have that done tonight. I should sleep a LOT better, and maybe wake up easier, having one less monkey on my back! Ugh.

Good night.

Well, I tried again.

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Today, before heading in to have an afternoon meal, I decided to try to install the faucet. Okay, I found the wrench (and it was metric) which fit the top nut to the faucet from the flex hose. I tightened it. I then tightened the lower nut to the cold water valve. The moment of truth came... and... no leaks! I did not tighten too much or too little (which always makes me nervous as the tightness between the two is a gray area). Woot! I did it. I tried the faucet, good, water came out. Now the sprayer... Doh! It started leaking as soon as I turned on the faucet. It was cracked at the base (something I could not have done). Damn! Damn! And again damnation!

So, I got the thing undone, packed up, and ready to go. No receipt could be found. Oh well, I thought all Wal-Mart could do was say no to a refund. As it turned out they offered me a gift card for the purchase price of the faucet. Good enough, there are things I could use, but never again any plumbing, electrical, or other such items from Wal-Mart. NEVER. Three out of three failures for them. So, over to Lowe's (we have a Home Depot, but after their children's gay festival thing, they are on my shit list). I look around a bit, but not much as I am becoming familiar with the store. The difficult thing is looking for a good brand, one that has what I want, and a unit that will fit my application and fittings. I do NOT want to drill another hole, not through a stainless steel sink! My stupid cordless drill has trouble drilling pilot holes in hard wood (grhrhrhr don't get me started... top of the line, they said... perfect for anything, they said). Yes, a good solid corded hammer drill or such is on my list, maybe just a hardy standard corded drill... I am thinking on it. Anyway, I find one, and I stay simple and relatively cheap (my kitchen is not all that, atm, so why put a $200 faucet in an aging (ancient) kitchen at this point?).

On to supper and discussion. Not much rubbing or grinding tonight, it was rather light and pleasant. I know they are working hard on three houses or so, taking care of his parents, trying to live their normal lives, and... they seemed a bit worn. I know I am worn out as well, though this weekend has recharged my batteries and seen me getting up earlier. I brought beer, bread, and my soda fountain (it seems to be a favorite there). Oh, I finally was able to show them my finger, without a bandage. I think from their looks they finally understand why I was not able to help. Even if they sort of believed me, seeing adds much more to believing. And this finger still looks really bad, is swollen, and the wound is not even close to being truly healed over... at all. But it was a great meal, always good company, and things were pleasant. I sort of stepped in it a bit, saying being a minority (non-Mormon) has it's advantages and can, if handled well, propel one socially and financially. Well, two of the ladies who attend are Mormon (and were not sure whether to be offended or not (though one came through and on my side, from her own experiences)). But my hostess (and sometimes the host, though I think he is changing some of his long held views on these things) believe that minorities cannot help themselves, or some such. They have no idea how to see how, if one is productive, honest, and hard working, that being a minority could be very advantageous. I gave it a whack or three then let it slide after that. Either you get it or you do not get it.

I, actually, am feeling much more confident in getting the sink done. I will be trying it in a short bit. I also, finally, cleaned the grill a bit. One thing I finally realize though is that using anything other than steel bristles is not only useless, it is counterproductive on an infrared heating unit. Silicon, heat resistant plastics (for cleaning other even hot grills), and probably anything other than steel, will simply melt on the device when hot. So... I learned. Still, it is finally clean, cooling now, and will be put away shortly before or after I make (hopefully) my last stab at installing the f$*^ing faucet! Arghghghghgh

Oh, that reminds me, I want to put some of the chorizo out to thaw for cooking on the grill tomorrow, but hot or mild? Bah, I will figure it out. Sorry about the cussing. Well, not really but sort of. Have a good night.

I had to laugh, yes, I did.

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I have been sort of good about getting back on my blog reading roll. After cleansing my list, focusing on what I do read, and paring or adding to the field a bit, life in this regard is almost back to normal. Typing, though, is still an issue. I probably should not be doing it as much as I am, but... maybe I should be? How do we ever know? Anyway, comments are now, again, flowering all over the interwebz, as reading and typing begin in greater earnest.

Today I saw one of the funniest things ever at one of my daily reads. MAin Info has a little piece that linked to a grouping of limericks that just... floored me. I have not seen any which might be construed as inappropriate for all age groups, if I have not read them all yet either. What a gas, gas, gas. Well, I told her I was going to steal that, but that I would be nice and add links and a more proper credit. Actually, I honestly do not know how to properly credit things, so I hope this is right? Though, I did not think I would get to it this fast. In any case, there it is. I am still giggling like a school girl about... whatever school girls giggle about...? ZOMG!

The trick to life?

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I was sitting here thinking. I was going over some plans for the house, the plumbing war of ought 10, the disarray in which I live until I can finish the faucet and begin my slow march toward becoming fully operational, rabbits, chickens, and... other such. I found that I was wondering at when the rest of my life slows down enough so that I can get to some of these other things. And then it hit me.

It is not whether life slows down. It will, and then something will come up which is demanding, and it will cycle that way, for the rest of my life, and all of our lives really. No, waiting for my life to slow down will merely see me to living a less active life. That is not the trick. Having someone else to help will not do it either, that too could very easily become a trap. A trap for them and me, one in which I become a slave to a slave. No, that is not it at all, even less useful than having my life slow down to the point of being counter-productive.

What has to happen is, similar to my getting up in the mornings, I simply have to expand my day, use more fully my time, and push past that wall I spoke of before. If I want to advance, fix the house and yard up some, and do animal husbandry for food, I will have to stretch.

Can I do that? Can anyone do that? I think most people can, if they choose not too until inactivity traps them. For me, maybe. I am in that trap I just spoke of. Though, and to be fair, I have some rather limiting physical problems and whatever else is wrong with me. The 'whatever else' has been improving since moving the Utah, however. Whether I get more sun, get out more, feel more secure, the drier climate, the elevation, some or all of that, or something else, does not matter. I AM improving. The physical limitations are real too. My finger is now out of commission. The back and neck pain, for now, can be handled with over the counter painkillers and a half hour wait for that to work, even at their worst.

So, can I do it? Honestly, I still do not know. Until I can fully use both hands, much of my work is slow. And, while digging out of the trap of inactivity and having three weekly appointments and a ton of other demands, I do not have the energy reserves to press beyond that. I think I AM stretching. That I have only missed one appointment in what, 3 weeks, is amazing. Really really. The trick, for me, is knowing when I have to shove off the invalid cart and onto the pavement.

The trick, finally and fully, is merely to go beyond what we have been doing and how we have been living, and proactively. Waiting for things to go wrong is not the way. Looking for ways to improve our homes, updating how we do some tasks and processes, learning to eat and sleep a bit more efficiently and fully, this is the trick. It will be, even at the greatest success level, humbling. Failure comes with it, as does expense, potential illness and wounds, but too comes a sense of finally being fully alive again. I am sure hoping I can pull this off. But I do need both hands, a few less appointments, and then a good self generated push.

Zapped.

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No Church, no confession. I am wiped. I ended up taking a short nap. I simply could not fight it. It was less than 2 hours though, probably more like 1 hour give or take. I simply could not get to anything and still have not done anything. I did put a little food in the engine, which might have caused the collapse, or more finalized the need for a nap.

My finger is swelling a great deal, more than usual. I am not sure if it is the heat or what. I have been typing a bit, but not all that much. Oh well.

Today, it seems, will be a day of rest whether I like it or not. Tomorrow, I will try to get up as well, and early. And, I will keep trying to make it into Church. If I can get there, if I can push past that wall... It will happen, however long it takes. I think these last few weeks, the accidents, and everything, has caused me to about shut down. On the good side, I do think it is temporary, I am awake nearly full days, and I am able to dither and do this and that on more minor scales of workload.

It is hot here today. I do not know how to get any kind of cooling in there. The windows are not at all geared toward handling window air conditioning, none of them. This is going to be a tough summer. On the good side, sleeping in the heat is not really possible. So, one way or another, I will be up most of the day. Ugh-a-chugga though.

Up early.

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The alarm went off at 9:00 this morning. I set it a little later in order to give myself a little better chance at waking. About the time it went off, Sam came in and demanded attention. Well, okay, I guess, whatever. So, she got scratchies, pets, and such. I think she really wanted to go out but was taking whatever she could get. At 9:12 I decided to put Sam out and turned off the alarm. And, I got up. It is tough, I feel like I've been run over, even now 2 hours later. This is the first time, in a long time, I have been able to do this for myself (getting up earlier than the trend). I can do it for appointments, sometimes, but that is really rough and temporary too. I am going to try and keep this going.

Today I hope to make it to confession and then Church. I would like to go on Sunday, but with this much trouble rising at 9:00, there is no way I could make it to Church at 10:00. To be honest, it is going to be tough to make it to confession and Church in the shape I am in. No, coffee and soda do not help, not a bit. Eating makes a nap required. Something just is not right with my body. Hmm, I could polish my shoes, work on the sink, mess with a game or two though. Those things will not help either, and I am not very clear headed so mistakes are more likely, but they would pass some time.

This feels like waking up at midnight after going to bed at 21:00 after a long day. Or, perhaps, like a hangover to those who have those. Oddly, my hangovers (or what passed for them when I used to drink more heavily) were pleasant affairs, often seeing me up early (earlier than usual), rested, and comfortable other than maybe a slight easily cured headache if I smoked along with the drink. Oh well. Drinking is out though. It is not a horrid thing, and I still have a few beers occasionally, and I never quite became an alcoholic (proper... improper?), but I did see the crest of the alcohol hill I was climbing and knew that once I reached it, it would be a harsh (mostly) one way slide down the backside of it. And that would be far worse than were I am as is. As I have told doctors I told my own self medicating side, "NO THANK YOU!".

I hope Sam is fixed. I heard cat bawling earlier and am pretty sure what that was all about. I have not been a cat owner and lived around cats otherwise for so long as to not know what that was all about. I did rush out, as soon as I heard it, to make sure it was not a regular fight. No Sam, and it had been close. I checked a bit later and she appeared (though did not want to come into the house), but bore a daughter's first beau kiss look as the daughter looks at the father coming home from a date. Yeah, I know. Ugh. Maybe she will not be lifting her tail at me so much though, for a while. Double ugh.

This finger is starting to be a real pain. It is healing, I guess. But the rate of heal is extremely slow. I still cannot fully use it. I would say it is not even fully healed at the skin level. I must baby it or it will split still. Even where the stitches tore is still visible like bloody eyelashes to either side of the the cut. And bruising, limitation in motion, and other such come and go. Oddly, just like when I fell in the river two years ago, I actually feel guilty for this cut. For many and no reasons, sort of.

Hmm, time to try and figure a way to wake up or even decide if a nap would be the only option. Nah, a nap would only make things worse. So tired, so sore, but at least it is a weekend and I can take some time taking time.

Later.

A little relaxation and some changes.

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I am cooling off after a long hard week. I must admit though, in spite of my incessant whining, I am pleased to be on the road to becoming the man of the house. Perhaps I will never quite make it to bread winner, father, or possibly even husband. But then I never thought I would be in my own home either. Actually I did not think I would still be alive. I did not think I was going to see thirty, let alone on past forty. It has been a heck of a ride, but like the picture of the cat clinging to a twine, seemingly over nearly infinite ether, I am still, somehow, holding on.

I made some changes to the sidebar. Too many sites that I do not visit, ceased visiting, or which have disappeared. One of them, if I can find the new address to somewhere in my email, I will repost. His name was Daniel, a homeschooler, and a pretty decent guy. He stopped posting for a bit, I think to clear the connection with some family photos, something his wife objected too (and reasonably in my opinion, as I am a bit of a... security minded individual myself). In any case, last I heard, he had started posting again. But I was in such a funk that I could not quite get the updated email link to here. It is always good to shake up the site from time to time. Still, I hope to get this other blogger's page back up. I liked his stuff.

Bedtime, and early, tonight. It is still rather warm (hot for me) here. And yet I do believe I will be able to crash. I will continue, even though it is a weekend (maybe more so for that reason) to try and wake early tomorrow. I must seem like a fool, setting my alarm at 8:00 and not being able to rise until noon, while snoozing multiple times and resetting the alarm over and over? I do not know, all I can say is that I try my darnedest and sometimes that is all I have. Same with much of my life. I am not whole.

I have been considering writing my dreams down for the blog. There is a large collection of them. These are the 'war dreams'. No, I will not say they are true. I will say I have had them over and over for decades now. I will say sometimes I cannot tell if they are true or not. I will not say I understand why I have them, how I get them, or anything. And I certainly do not understand how they intrude on my waking time, sometimes to devastating effect on my mood, psyche, or ability to live. The therapy I received for 'general disassociation' helped immensely (they could not call it ptsd because my records show no combat training, let alone active duty participation). While that is probably true... the dreams still remain, if more like a few times a month, or at worst several days to a week at a time a few times a year.

I suppose, since it is safe to assume that these dreams are not real (at least legally and probably logically), I can write them without there being a breech of any law, protocol, or honor system. Or, that is what I am thinking. Though it would be interesting to hear what others think. It would be REALLY nice to hear if anyone has any objections or could see a real potential problem with doing this. Anyone, anyone... Bueller, Bueller. Where is Bueller?

Well, good night, Primrose...

Busy day, again.

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I could not get up early, though I came very close. Simply put, the motor just would not turn over. I almost made it at 8:00 and at 10:00, but no go until 12:00. At least today I felt like I was close. That may sound funny, but most days when I have not been able to wake up, I do remember getting up and tinkering with the alarm one way or another, but there was no doubt I could not rise. So, I am going to keep trying. Mornings will, once again I hope, become my norm.

The temperatures around here are definitely on the rise. As the sun was pretty much set, while driving past a bank on my way home, I saw that it was still 78 F. That may have something to do with my sleep, my body might simply be trying to rest when it is cool enough for it to rest, knowing damn straight I probably cannot sleep at full sun unless maybe in fervid dream states I know I do not want to visit.

I called, again, to contact the woman with my insurance information. She, again, was not available. I know I left a voice message if I have not done so in the past. I had thought to skip this chiropractic appointment since I had nothing to give them, but decided missing one this week already to oversleeping I did not want to miss two appointments. As well, they could not find the police report that I am supposed to send to the other insurance lady. Well, I tried. I will keep on trying until it is done. There is little else I can do.

I did accomplish some things today though. I finally made it to the butcher shop and picked up a peck of meats. Brots, Mexican type brots (I hope), beef ribs (cut against the bone), hamburger, and steaks. I invited my friend over so we could test out my new grill. He paid for his part of the meat, and then some. I will have to have him over for hamburgers and brots next Friday. As well, I had been promising him I would take some pictures of his pistol, one he wants to sell, the one that bit me, and post them where I could, online, in an attempt to finally get it sold at a fair to him price. First I did not have internet, then I could not find my camera, and then today when I found it, it needed batteries. So, I got that going and did take some pictures of his pistol and will explore where and how to post the pics for sale.

As well, while I was picking up the batteries, I decided to also pick up some tomato plants. I had hoped to have cucumbers going too, but it is far too late for that and there were no plants of that nature. So, I picked up 3 or 4 tomato plants of various types, 2 different bell pepper plants, and 2 hot pepper plants. They are in the ground, watered (after dark with room(ish) temperature water). I also found some small planters to perhaps begin a small herb garden. I picked up 4 of those. There was enough dirt left over from the planting to fill those. I added the little bit of remaining water into those and the dirt inside as a final touch. None of the plants, except (I think) the orange bell peppers looked all that good. They seemed healthy enough, but not very strong. We have a place here in town that I have been meaning to visit, a garden type place. I may have to take a stroll tomorrow before Church and see if they are open and if so, what they might have. Watering the plants as I return, I suspect. The sun will only be on the plants half of the day, then it goes over the house. I suspect I can water them once shade is on them and after it has been that way for a bit.

I still have not messed with the sink. I am either feeling a little sting, I have trepidation about the outcome (or maybe more, finding that there is more to it even now), or I have simply been far too busy with far too many other things, at least within the paradigm with which I have to work? We will see. Maybe later tonight, maybe tomorrow, maybe Sunday, maybe not until next week! Heck if I know, or care, temporarily.

Time to cool off. Chill, read some news and blogs, and relax though. The steak was fantastic, having some company is always good, getting some things accomplished was nice. And it is a weekend! No calls asking for things I don't have, no appointments, no nothing unless I want it. Church, though, for the first time in... a long time. Confession first though, if I can round my butt up and get there in time. I do love Church, really. And confession too, honestly. I just hate all the pomp, circumstance, dress up, and timing (at least, all those things all at once). I really am not all that coordinated those ways.

Have a good night.

I did get some things accomplished after all.

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A drive into town, a stop at Lowe's then a trip to the parking lot and back in, Wal-Mart, then home. On my first trip into Lowe's, I went to plumbing and bumbled my way to fittings. I used the coupling boards to find the sizes of fittings I would need, then went to work. I found, after a bit of looking, what I was seeking. However, I wanted to speak with a rep first, and make sure what I was getting was what I wanted. After searching a short bit, one did approach and I went through my spiel. No, he suggested, perhaps this... there are indeed two sizes of faucet flexible hosing. (I think my friend suggested that and maybe D.C.? But I did not have the ears to hear at the time, or it did not make sense, or it got lost in the tidal wash.) Fine, so, I grabbed two of those and headed for the door. But wait, I wanted to get wrenches. Fearing the cost, I approached and, low and behold, they were not as expensive as I had worried. I picked up a 10 set each of SAE and metric, plus at that cost bought a 7 pudge SAE set to boot. I bought those and headed to the vehicle. After unlocking and putting the packages in the vehicle, I remembered a shower head. So, in I go. I could not find a shower head at Lowe's with the bend, flex, etc. After speaking with a rep, he suggested that trying to rig something up would not be the best idea, easy, nor necessarily attractive. So, a simple shower head was purchased.

I then thought about simply going home. I had the things I wanted to return to Wal-Mart though, and am never sure when the next time I will have everything together, remember what I need to do, and have the time to return them, so... In I go. A long line and a single worker, of course. Surprisingly though she was a rather efficient worker, despite older age and possibly not being in the greatest of health. Of course, I could only return the shower head there, the watch had to be returned to jewelry. There was a line of one there, which was actually good. Otherwise, in the later afternoons and night, one has to go looking for someone to call someone and then wait until someone gets off a pot somewhere to go to jewelry.

So, five things have been checked off my list, two more might be, and it cost less than I thought the wrenches themselves would cost. Okay, I can do that. I am almost afraid to try the shower head and flex hoses, but I will probably do that yet tonight when I work my nerve up a hair. Shower head first, as I deem that more likely to succeed and success breeds success, or something like that.

But you know, I have finally figured out why middle aged men, who have been married 20 to 40 years, have children, and owned their own house for that long, always seem half insane. Money seems almost an enemy and something to cherish at the same time, something I thought (before) was a simple problem (like a leaking faucet or a squeaky hinge) cause them to shrink back into infant fetal positions almost literally, and why at times they can become gibberish and speak to themselves. Ah, I think I am getting it, finally. Or, some small portion of it. Women, for the most part, have NO CLUE! They just get someone to do it or expect the husband to "have it done by...". They cannot do much of it. It is not just the way their minds work, 90% of which is not mechanically minded, but also the physical strength involved. Another part, for many so do not give me examples of different, is an emotional reaction that makes the thing too difficult for many of them. Most women who have had me do mechanical, electrical, or other work like this, I have learned to do the work in their absence. They only hinder, question, and nag, none of which helps a bit.

I have heard that married men live longer than single men. But I have heard from married men that even if it were not true, regardless of the facts, it would definitely feel like longer. Ha! Seriously though, now that I have a house for a ball and chain, I might as well add the rest of the weight. There is nothing like a chip on the shoulder except being perfectly balanced with a chip on each. Ha!

Overloaded, underpowered, and sinking.

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I am supposed to get the police report faxed to my insurance, get my insurance information collected and in to the chiropractor, get some female to male fittings as a possible fix for the new faucet, I have been looking for (and finally found) one of my password scribble sheets for some other business, get to the town hall to get local utilities in my name, buy airline tickets for my my Mom, and... some other stuff. Finding anything has been impossible. I am trying to do far too many things in a home that is not yet (even nearly) operational and I still have stuff in storage.

Beyond what needs to be done I seem to be crashing. It could be because I feel overwhelmed (which I do not, actually, if harried). Or it could be just the way things are and have been for a long time with me. I was able to wake a bit earlier today. I am going to try to go to sleep a bit earlier tonight. This tug of war is a pain, that of sleep and wakefulness. But at least I am staying awake a fairly decent period of time, say 12 to 16 hours a day, and that time is functional (if I am not yet up to using it more fully physically or organizationally). Still, as I have said before, when stuck I just give one (or all) project(s) a time out and then come back and hit it (or them) when and how I can.

I had hoped to do a number of things today, but finding paperwork, which I needed to do what I had hoped to do, simply did not happen. The codes will allow me to do some business, but I needed to fax something and it just is not available here and now. My chiropractor has a copy, so I will get a copy of their copy, and send that to my insurance company. However, my chiropractor needs information from my insurance company, but the woman who needs the fax is not the right woman to give me that information. So, you can see, this like the faucet, has ended up being a seemingly never-ending 'cat chases tail, tail eludes cat, everything gets a bit fuzzy, hairy, sticky, and...' tale. My whole life, right at this moment, is like that.

My finger, by the way, keeps swelling. I have been being very careful with it. Still, a bump, a jolt, a f&^)ing faucet, or the cat have jostled, pushed, pressed, bent, or otherwise gotten it every day, several times a day. Maybe I took the sling back a bit prematurely. Though I would be in even worse shape with that still on. The back is coming along, mostly. But the neck and shoulders are still a bit touchy. I have been looking for the Tylenol, as the aspirin has caffeine in it (which seems to help me wake up not a wit, yet will keep me from sleeping allllll nighttttt longgggg).

I may still go into town tonight, to look for the fittings, take back the shower head and a watch I purchased at Wal-Mart, and look for wrench sets. I would love one day were I did not have to go into town. How about 3 days. How about a week! I hate going into that town. I love the town, mind you, as towns go. I hate the traffic. With one way, mostly, from north to south, through this region of the state and Idaho, that being right through town, the main thoroughfares are busy, hostile, stupid places with accidents all the time, traffic being bumper to bumper from one side of town to the other some large part of the time, and all else foolish regarding too much traffic on too few roads, with drivers who refuse or unable to think to use conveniences like turn lanes. But more, I simply like staying home! If more people had the option to never leave their homes, they honestly would not do so. Maybe not all, but most would be quite happy getting out only a few days a week for social, business, and fun. Hiking on Tuesday, for example, in which either on the way out or way back one does business. Dinner Thursday with so-and-whozitzs at their place, home, or some agreed upon restaurant, doing more business on the way. Just saying.

Eventually I will figure some of this out and it will slow down enough that I can get a better grasp on what I am doing. I realize, too, what seems fast and busy is actually quite light. I have become a lightweight and, if I want it, will have to push through some of my own issues where I can, and try to dig in a bit. With real projects, the satisfaction gained from certain jobs which will by needs initially need to be simple, and from necessity, I am hoping to expand my world here. The cat, for example, is receiving at least decent care, attention, feeding, and water. I had been letting her out often, but that is going to stop. She vomits a bit to often. I will now be letting her out far less. I see her eat grass almost every time. I do not think she understands she does not need to do that every time she goes out. Anyway, a few times a week, and then on the back porch until she does what I know she will do.

Well, off I go. A few items, the fittings, might actually see to the kitchen sink being usable and one job off my list. I am truly hoping so.

When you say...

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More on the UPS. I thought about what you wrote, D.C., then when I had some quiet time, decided to look around a bit. I sort of muddled my way through some material, and from a quick and nasty, came to a few items. This as a power source and this as a solar panel controller. I have had it suggested that 25 amps, per battery (I think?), at 12 volts, should do the trick. Why a 60'ish amp power supply and a 12/24/48 volt controller? Simple, so that I could use a two battery system, potentially 3 batteries(?) for my back up. I would guess one battery could offer, what, 2 to 8 hours of backup? And I would guess that 2 or 3 batteries would only double or triple the back up time? (I am, I think, underestimating the time... though with a larger crt screen monitor and a reasonably powerful computer, maybe not.)

Well, just doing some thinking in that little space between being awake and not being awake and thought I would run this by you. If you would rather not talk shop heavily, that is cool too though. At least you know this thing really is a bee and I might be wearing a bonnet. Doh! Those have been bookmarked. The bookmarks will lead me to other items of similar natures. And, if I ever do finalize a plan of purchase attack, I will then begin price shopping. Ackh, curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought it back. But is that not the truth!?!

No! I think I might actually have a much easier plan.

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An exchange fitting! That might do it. I am not sure how well it will work, though it is worth a shot. Rather than replace the (mostly) functional water valves, I may see if they have a female to male fitting which would span the sizes. Tomorrow, that is what I will do. It came to me today, but I had other things going on and could not get to the hardware store. That, I think, might be a lot easier.

As for adding valves to the outlets, that may come sooner than later. The previous owner had purchased inline water heaters to replace the existing ones. The downstairs heater is currently gas, the upstairs heater is currently electric. The replacements are correct for what exists. Now, with inline, would I really need to add disconnect valves at both the inlet and outlet piping? I do not know (though I think maybe more so than ever). Still, unless it is proscribed, I would probably go ahead with it. Of course, on those items, I do believe I will eventually have someone else install those.

When I figure out how to get the cash back as a first time home buyer, I plan on having at least a furnace installed (perhaps central air or a swamp cooler depending on how this summer goes). He might be the guy to ask. Even if he does not do this, he would very possibly have a good handle on someone else who does, what is required, how easy of a job it might be, and such. No, no, after the sink and for now, I think I'll stick with having even bigger jobs done by professionals. I am clearly out of my league. Actually, it might be a good thing the faucet "happened". I might have seriously gotten in over my head. Or, more over my head.

Breath... Breath... (kick something?) Breath... Nah, it is not really that bad. More like being somewhere you cannot bend over and having an itch on one's ankle. Yeah, something like that. Well, except for a few moments during or right after it all seems to go wrong...

Dremel does work.

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It took a bit, and I took breaks as I was pushing the little machine pretty hard. The old faucet is now off. I initially tried to use the Dremel to sand the place under where the old faucet sat but that did not work well. Having no sandpaper of any other kind around, I looked around to see what else to use. Steel wool! I keep that for occasional use on steel and cast pots and pans. It worked well.

I then began figuring out how to get the new contraption in and what to do. I read the instructions, and they seemed pretty straight forward. Then, looking over the faucet unit, I noticed other instructions though of a very vague nature. So, I pull out the instructions again. Nothing about this whatsoever. Not a clue. So, I did what I thought the instructions were telling me to do and, being pretty sure I did all I was supposed to do, began weaving it in, setting up the sprayer, tightening the various (different from each other, but whatever!) plastic nuts on the various attachments.

Then I get to the point where I need to attach the sprayer hose to the faucet unit. The unit has 3 hose attachments and, from the instructions, it seems the shortest one is for the sprayer. Good, so I tape that up with silicon tape, hand tighten the hose nut to the pipe, and begin going through my open wrenches. Not this one, that one, the... wait a minute. Slightly larger than 9/16, the pricks used metric! Still, I brave on. I find an adjustable that fits and do gymnastic moves and some threading to get into position to tighten the nut. No small feet, trust me. But I get it into position. Then I have to tinker with the thing, as the nut is long and thin, with very thin sides upon which to secure the wrench. A few minutes of that, or so it seemed, and I get the adjustment right and am able to begin tightening... Other way! Yeah, yeah, yeah... But finally I do tighten it, but not too much. A good deal past what I suspect would be hand tight but yet with room for cranking if I need or want that.

Next, I attach the new flexible hose to the faucet side. It goes on well. Uhrm, did not tape it but I will fix that. As soon as I CHANGE THE F$*@ING WATER FAUCET TO STANDARD! Yes, not standard. I do not think anything in this house is going to be standard, or at least only every other or every third thing. This is NOT GOING TO BE FUN. I suspect I will have to turn off the water to the whole house, drain what I can, and then change both the hot and cold water shut-off valves under the sink. I will have to see if I need to do anything with the hot water heaters. If they have a shut off valve at the exit, I may not have to shut off the whole house water though... if those valves work? But first I will have to find valves that work with the old pipes AND the standard hose. Which means I will probably need to remove the valves before going into the hardware store. That is not going to happen even tomorrow.

I am still going to try and get up early tomorrow (who said I was even smart enough to quit while I am behind?). If that does work, I will get in to city hall. If not, then I will simply try to be up in time to shower and shave, or at least shower, for my appointment. I should look through my movies too. I told my friend I would bring something in to watch at his house on his DVD player. I hate watching plain tv, even the "commercial free" channels anymore. They are so packed with anti-white anti-male anti-American and all the other stuff I despise. So, a movie or three will go with me, movies I trust a bit more and like.

Thursday will not be the day either, at least to pick up the valves. I may find time to take them out though, if possible, and if I do not take them out tomorrow. Come to think of it, I am not even sure if those valves are soldered on or are screw. Ugh, I am hoping for screw but now expecting that they are soldered on. *sigh* I do have a blow torch, but no flux or solder. I have only ever done that for a few things once. It worked, but I am definitely not a professional. Oh, nope, water off outside. I might be able to turn the hot water off at the hot water heater exit (if there are indeed valves there), but I cannot turn off the cold water!

A f*)$ing faucet, that is all. A dripping faucet, put in a new one. How could this be so very hard? Nothing about this operation works as it was supposed to work. Nothing, so far, has been standard, easy, right, or anything. This is definitely a wakeup call.

I must admit, just from what I am going through with the house, I am definitely reconsidering whether I want anything to do with a woman as regards marriage and children. I can only guess that those are a couple of light years more complicated (unless you just do and ignore, planning on a divorce before too long). Ugh... Sigh! Pftftfha...

Update:

Good and bad news, though I think the good news (probably, so far, to my knowledge) outweighs the bad news. The bad news, no exit valves from the water heater (upstairs, so I will not check the downstairs water heater). That means I will have to find out if I need to do anything special, like completely dump(?) the water in the heaters, turn off the burner (for the basement one, the upper one is electric so no(?) problems there, just a switch if that is needed(?)), or whatever else. The good news is that the valves under the sink are twist not solder.

My wounded hand is getting a work out. There is little else I can do though, halfway through the project. I do have a spare kitchen sink in the laundry room, if that is a bit of a bother and I have no real place to set the dishes once washed and rinsed, if a chair, towel, and the drying rack might do somewhat. That stupid hand is going to be the end of me, along with the faucet, I think. Ugh. Oh well, I came, I saw, I dieeeeee!!! Or, uhrm, not.

Oh, and something(s) I now know I need are combination wrenches. My set, if you could call it that, is both incomplete (thanks to a thieving cousin) and has no metric whatsoever. I have been eying those fancy ones, with the snazzy closed end side wrenches that act sort of like sockets, but I am not sure I can afford a decent set of SAE and Metric, and then both in the fancy. Even a standard set, of decent quality, is not going to be cheap. These tools, however, will be used very often, on many projects, through many years. Buying decent (not the most expensive, but certainly not the cheapest) will see me through. I love buying tools, too... but not... right... now... Ugh. Well, at least I know this is not an impulse buy for shiny new thingies I will never use... probably. Bah!!!

Good night, Louise.

Uhrm, nope.

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Right tool, bad faucet, hard water, no go... with the tool anyway. So, I go into the interwebz and look around. It seems a Dremel, cutting disc, and some patients is what I need. Check, check, and... we will see on that last. At first I thought maybe the previous owners, the ones before them, or in any case someone had used super glue to seal the faucet. After looking at the faucet and reading a bit more, it really does just seem to be a mineral buildup seal. One more reason to get a water softener (and a reverse osmosis) system asap. Sorry, the world may be ending, or shutting down for a bit, but until it does, I would like some comforts (and the ability to work with my plumbing!).

I have been using the Dremel, cutting through what I can. Even with a rather good flashlight, though, it is not easy to see as well as I would like to see. I have cut, if seemingly not completely, a fifth to an eight (depending on how far through I really am) of the first "nut" off and worked a bit on the second. I am not sure how long the Dremel can run, continuously, so I am taking a break. At least I did not have to go buy a Dremel too. Still, this is starting to get frustrating. Whatever. I suppose, with the help of the Dremel, some patients, and that punch and chisel set, I will work my way through the gunk either tonight hopefully, or sometime tomorrow.

I had not thought about sealer goo until I ran into the problem with the socket like tool. However, after reading up a bit, it seems a gasket that (should have) come with the faucet is all I will need. Thankfully too, as I would hate to have to make another run to the hardware store, or at least sooner than the next thing or for one more thing actually (as I do need to return a shower head and find a different one). Wish me luck, please?!?