Fine and dandy.

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Sleep was absolutely wonderful. After getting the house cooled down, I closed everything early this morning. At 17:00 the house is about 76 F. While only 4 F less than what it was running, that 4 F is significant. I can easily live with 76 F, which is running from 15 to 20 F cooler than outside. Add fans and it is simply delightful, comparatively. As well, any humidity that might otherwise come in doesn't. Perhaps as what of dew exists, or what comes on the winds during heating in the morning? I don't know, it just seems less humid. Since I don't have a gauge, I don't actually know, just a 'felt' thing.

I needed that sleep. Between being a bit off due to meds, a bit off due to heat, and of course just... being a bit off all by my lonesome, sleep had been a wretched thing for some time. Brutal, hard to control, not very restful, difficult to shake, and hot and sweaty on top of it. Meds might be helping again, though I can't swear to it. I have already started dropping weight, 5 pounds so far, which means water, so there is that. And I had wondered if, on top of everything else, water weight specifically held in more heat or somehow in some way made heat less tolerable. My blood pressure is still elevated, but that usually takes a little time to bring down. It might take a week or two to get things back in order. But I have never quit... trying. No rest for me, not now, or at least not yet. I need to get into a solid regular 'low orbit', keep it there for a bit with plenty on my plate comparatively, and then I can relax a bit but only by maintaining that 'low orbit' of activity instead of shooting for a higher orbit.

Oh, the other day I saw a debate about birth control. I had been hitting that blog hard, so I decided not to pump more of my thought into the place. Even so-called conservative women become a bit drawn out with continued use. So I thought I would write it up here. The notion being presented was, now that there (apparently, not independently verified) is a contraception for men, an injection that places a device or dose of medicine in the bicep, which is clear visible and felt, whether women should also be forced to use a form of contraception which is visible. The suggestion was that feminists would wheeze and moan about any such proofing.

I hated to break it to her, but whether feminists complained about this was actually a moot point. Oh, sure, they might complain. But they complain about everything. If you understand that feminists, whether they understand it or not and being mostly women there is some notion that they may not actually be fundamentally capable of understand what they do, they are for contracepting as many children from being born as possible. They are for this form of societal, self-imposed, genocide, just as they are for abortion, which is the other part of it. For often siding with the "greens" (oddly, considering how much the pill pollutes the water system) and "naturalists" (despite the fact that both contraception and abortion are completely unnatural horrors only few animals in the most dire of situations can sometimes enact (think rats)), they either do not understand or they are outright hypocrites.

What I am saying is, arguing with feminists about the minor issue means you have already surrendered to their main points. This is like the Repubs debating Obama, to date. They always lose because he moves the goalpost and complains he isn't getting his way, after he has pretty much gotten everything he wanted and just looks for a few more peckings, and they RUN to accommodate. And they yield and yield and yield until they might as well have been Demos. No, Helen, having women prove they have contracepted is not "showing feminists!". *sigh* Modern women. You can tell em'. You just can't tell em' much.

Oh, and to add cheer to joy, enjoy this.


Well, off to sort of wake up and then to figure some things out. Have a wonderful afternoon. I myself shall endeavor to enjoy my 'morning'. What's that you say? "But, Doom, it's afternoon"! Bugger off, it's morning somewhere you, you... you!

Training a cat.

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Oh, not impossible at all. However, one must start with certain understandings. First, cats often know what you want them to do. They simply have no incentive to perform. Second, what works for this animal or that does not work with a cat. They are the union members of the animal family. Good pay AND benefits are required. Further, you have to request the acts and pay well. Sam simply is not interested in being trained. Sassy is only interested in food. Having been fixed before she ever went into heat, she is like the typical chemically fixed housewife. If she could manage the television I would find her watching Oprah I am sure.

When I started, and Sassy was very young, she would do small tricks for a single kibble. Not standard food, mind you, the treat stuff. As she ballooned, that one kibble simply isn't incentive enough. Finally, I decided to break down. For three kibbles she will slay people, I think. No need for that, thankfully. But she will now perform the tricks easily, happily, and immediately. Now, will she ever do the tricks for free? That is yet to be known. I have my doubts. She isn't, after all, a dog. :p

She still isn't sure if she likes me. At just over a year old, I am told she is about a seven year old. She has learned not to claw me, or use claws to jump on or off me like she does other things. She is being a lot more mellow, kind, and even affectionate compared to her needy 'early years'. But she is still very much a juvenile and still very much self-involved. Oh, I suppose Sam is too, mostly. But she has learned to share her self-involvement, to appreciate companionship, and to be much more mellow. Save when it comes to Sassy, and Sassy just brings to Sam what she brings to the world... In her words, she brings "ME!!!". Still, I enjoy watching her grow, learn, play, fight (Sam or me), and just live. Brat!

Hmm, I think it is about time to try and load up the bike and get it into town. The nice thing about ordering from a store that is open 24 hours a day is, I repeat myself somehow. It is quite nice to have this cool night tonight to work in. I may begin simply staying up later, going to sleep while it is still cool and sleeping off some of the heat (as I can), napping when I must, and just working through the oddities that entails. I have no serious need of a 9:00 to 5:00, I just... it was a goal. I suppose I can just set that aside for now and do what I must. Perhaps if I am not fighting sleep and heat and everything else all at once I might be able to get to other things. I will still have the afternoon to try and get what work needs doing done. And mornings should it be heavier work and I decide to stay up a bit longer. Just... thinking, planning, sorting.

Just imagine if there is no such thing as an air conditioner or a furnace or even a fan. No, not a comfy thought. Very possible, slightly unlikely long term, life changing if it came to pass. I don't think we could ever go back to stone age, or not for long. Too much information is cataloged. Too many people can read that information. People are inventive, and are equal parts construction and destruction. On the plus side, there would be no tax save sweat and tears. Be careful what you wish for.

Good night.

Hmm.

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The nap was wretched but being awake in the heat was worse. I have to figure something out. It is now getting to 80 in the house. I am not sure why, as I don't think it was that bad last year. Then again I could simply have been in better shape, in some weird way. It is 10 to 15 degrees hotter outside. Given that I have no ac, that is quite a difference, but it isn't enough. I am shutting all but the back windows much earlier as the heat of the day is quicker and fiercer. Moving the fan to blow right on me does help a bit more. No more oscillation, just a steady stream of hot but moving air.

I keep thinking about this man being called a terrorist. While I share few of his ideals and would not kill, at this point, I have to think that what he has done is neither incorrect nor abominable. What he has done is point out that his way of life and his very culture, what of it is left after socialism, is being shredded. He was raised in a soft socialism that allowed him to do as he pleased. No real rules were set in place. The Church is dead there, so there no sin to them. Oh, there are laws, but, what of them? Everyone could pretty much to anything, even the most severe crimes are lightly punished (if you can call it punishment). His people became lax. Work ethic doesn't really exist. Having children? Why bother, there is the state. Some still do, but more for obscure reasons. Children, if they are anything like America, are often more like pets. Aren't they so CUTE!

Then, once they had this perfect slow but comfortable suicide going, the government and business decided they needed volume for workers. So, they brought in people. Those people are not only foreign, they are outright hostile to everything that has been put in place. They are criminally, if unpunished for it, insensitive. They are literally murdering and raping and at most receiving light taps of so-called justice. Their government just opened the door. Further, they breed fast compared to the slow almost accidental breeding native population. They are violent and uneducated, indoctrinated, and they believe they have a free pass to that.

So, he commits genocide against a group of children from those who have brought about these changes and... people act surprised, startled, taken aback. Why in the world would he do such a thing? Why? He points out very clearly by his actions exactly what his state is doing to his people, albeit slowly. His government encouraged it's people not to breed. It encouraged them not to work hard. It discouraged everything from the native population that would have precluded this large, hostile, foreign group being needed. And then it brought them in head-over-heals. His government IS murdering his people, just more slowly through encouraged abortion, contraception, and assisted suicide, and through proxy of a violent group of foreigners. The Spanish Inquisition was not brought about because muslims are negotiable peaceful people. It wasn't brought about because they are lawful. They were quite willing to take on the Catholic faith in spite of having no such affiliation. They do NOT assimilate, at all, ever. Nor have they ever.

What he did, some will say, is absolutely and unequivocally wrong. I can't say that. I won't say it. I will say it is unfortunate he saw the need, or more that the need exists. It is unfortunate he had to waste his life fighting for his people, many of whom will never even understand until it is far too late (which, if I am guessing, unless nations go the way of this man and the Spain of antiquities if in a secular fashion as that is all they have), then it is too late. It is probably true with America as well. In some ways, it is probably "later" on that timeline in America than it is in Europe.

Advocate? I advocate little. I just see what is happening. And I can't blame the participants for fury, hatred, murder, especially since they have been trained that there is no real good or bad. Further, is it murder to want to survive? I find it quite unfortunate that our dear leaders have left people with no choice. It almost looks like they set this up. Some say ignorance is bliss, others say there is no such thing as ignorance. Perhaps their notions are merely impossible dreamers, poets, artists of politics stretching dreams too far. I don't think so. I think either knowingly directly or indirectly they charged ahead hoping to create the kind of murderous frenzy that allows populists to gain even more power, and as always eventual hard defeat. I suppose they keep hoping for the Stalin, Pol Pot, or Obama who will win and either keep it going forever and disappear history as they have tried to do, or will wipe out man. The pigs tail and snout are so similar when the light is fading. I guess I am saying who can be right in any of what is about to unfold?

I will hold onto my Christian faith, even if it kills me. I will not push over that line and attempt to take the most Godly path available. I won't do for others what they do not desire, not even for their own good. I would recommend you find God and hold onto Him. I think that was the shot heard around history.

The heat is just becoming nasty.

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It still cools to the 60's at night, but that is of little comfort during the day. Even at night, it isn't really cool until just before the sun rises, of course. First it takes so long to cool, then getting that cool air in. By the time it cools down it begins to get hot. A few hours in early to mid morning, say four hours? Yeah. I have been looking at options though. Higher temps and my current health simply do not seem to be mixing well. I shouldn't complain too much. Another month and a half and the world becomes more like I like it.

Oh heck, I think I am going to try to nap until the world cools a bit more. Hmm, I wonder if the lake is open for swimming yet. With the water we got and the melt still coming down, it might not be. It is a reservoir, truth be told. So it might still be too deep and too cold. I really ought to find out. Later.

What an odd little world and what a strange group of people.

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The more I consider "liberals", "neochristians", and the like the more I do see one thing for certain. Their mere existence causes me to dig into why I am who I am. Their questions are usually seemingly pointless. And they cannot be changed, from my experiences. Nor do they see facts for what they are or ever try to quantify or quality test. "Feeding the people is good! Why Christ did that with the loaves (if that is fiction).", they might say. No, Christ fed people who happened to have followed Him (against his advice I might add, to a degree, on at least one of those occasions anyway). He didn't base His ministry on feeding the hungry any more than He did so on healing the lame, blind, diseased, and ill. Those things He did, they were a part of His proof perhaps, but more they were examples of compassion and an example of what we really can do, with faith. And, yes, miracles, literal real miracles, happen every day. Your next breath is a miracle, but a seemingly mundane one. There are absolutely scientifically and historically impossible things that happen so often believers know.

In any case, without those people I would potentially not be who I am and I certainly wouldn't know well nearly so well. Then again, that is only consciously. I know or believe enough to get me through what I don't know. In a way, I am grateful for fools of the lower orders. And still I hope for a day when only those who understand perfectly are allowed to roam freely. Or, I should say know and adhere, as I believe we all already know everything, only maintaining pieces of it consciously albeit. Everyone knows what is right and wrong on at least a minor scale. Many choose not to be right. Those are the ones I will have little sorrow for their lack of presence. Unlike some, however, I will let God sort it out.

This new terrorist, the story keeps changing. First he was a fundamentalist (Christian), conservative, anti-immigration, nationalist. At least two of those have been blown out of the water, as I suspected they would be. First, he is not a Christian, of any sort. Second, he is not a conservative. The Unibomber seems to be his main source. What it boils down to is that this man is a atheist national socialist. Uhrm, not exactly what is still being portrayed. As to his motives however, they are not that of a madman. His writings aren't even his. He is merely a man beset by changes he cannot control. I would say his actions, not his guilt, are free from that of the insane. I might even say due to the plight of his people, his guilt is questionable. I have some notion that this is just the beginning.

People in Europe are beyond wits ends dealing with governments that not only govern poorly but add insult to injury by bringing in foreigners they will not, perhaps cannot, control. Once enough people, there, get a taste of and for blood, there will be no stopping it. They sort of have a history of bloodletting. And if the government will not simply protect them, they will at first, like this man, do it themselves. Until enough people side with them publicly, and change the government. But populist swings in small nations can be terrible. They no longer depend on the Middle-East for oil, so they no longer need fear repercussions.

Right, wrong? In some cases there is so much wrong that there can't be right anywhere in the whole context to be found. The same can be said for America, which is reaching many boiling points as well. A mere 100 Republicans are holding the line. I think there is a collective holding of breath, waiting for this next election. But if things do not change, things will definitely change. I am just an observer, perhaps a survivor. I just write what the crystal ball is telling me. Governments need to step up and offer security or put it in the hands of the people and shut it. If they do not begin kicking out illegal aliens and figuring out how to do an enforceable guest worker program, they will find out just how tough it can really be. And it looks like their children may be the targets. Right? Wrong? What is genocide through "immigration reform"? Just a slower form of the same thing.

Crazy? Maybe. Maybe we all are, one way or another. I'm just making notes, analyzing, calculating, and preparing to hunker down until the storm passes. The left has had it's way for over a century now. It is time to begin the undoing. Financials to policies to... everything. It has begun.

Fried, cooked, beaten up.

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A rough one today. Still, I crawled out from the sheets before I had planned, before the alarm. And I pushed to keep it that way. While not quite up to getting out and to town, I did call and speak with the guy. Seems I will merely be leaving it there anyway. What he had roughly suggested I had already tried. Then again, I don't have a Midas touch. Not with bike mechanics. Perhaps there is a 'sweet spot' and I don't have the tuning it takes to know. But if it is that touchy, I would guess using something to hold the hex in place would be advisable. Not the hard setters, just the lighter bolt holder treatments.

First full dose for some time. I realize, too, I forgot last nights medication. Bah, I guess today is a fresh start. I had better remember the potassium, I was rather low. I think I have been forgetting that. They have me on 80 for the next five days, then back down to 40. Plus they have me on double lasix for the same time period. It seems they don't want my bp to come down too much, but I think they overly worry about that. It is almost back to my "normals". Then again, between this and that... My foot has been shot out from under me regarding being more active, for example. When every time you put your foot down it hurts and feels like a large section of it is burning, you do so less often. But lowering my dosage wasn't great either.

My shoulders still feel like they have had a strong, perhaps severe, sunburn. It is better than what it was. Have you ever had a sunburn bad enough that it burned and the skin cracked? That is what those areas slightly outside and slightly above where my shoulder blades peak outward feel like, each area is about the size of a fully extended shoulder blade. The area of soreness around it covers from the base of my ribs up into my arms but ends at the neck, though the most severe of it is centered in those small areas mentioned above. I have no idea what would cause that. Going shirtless doesn't help. This has been going on for a week or slightly more now. I have zero clue about it. A side affect from cutting doses, started by going without medicine for several days? Some odd neurological issue? Whatever, I wish it would just do it's thing and go. Massaging and showering do nothing. Itching it, which seems called for at times, is as fun as itching a real sunburn (not at all, that is). Yet there are no marks, it isn't red, swollen, puffy... nothing. The skin IS sensitive. Just touching it in some of the area causes pain. Weird.

It is already getting pretty hot in this front room. So, I am going to retreat after just a bit more tinkering. Have a great day.

No sleep.

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I don't know if it is just the felt heat (can't tell if I am hot or the temps are up) or if staying up overnight triggered something. I just know that I can't sleep. I had been about to use the CPAP when I realized I don't have the water it needs. I was told to use distilled water, or to boil water for 20 minutes (I think). When I am in town getting my bike looked at I will pick up a bottle for now. Perhaps from then on I will simply boil and replace. I hate not being able to sleep, or even rest. I will try again shortly.

Oh, I realize we have a monsoon season here as well. The notion is still foreign to me. I just can't quite wrap my mind about being in the middle of a desert having weather I had always associated with, what, South Pacific Islands, India, or something? Humidity does go up, rain can come though it is very spotty, no deluges though. Then again, I think the highest I have seen humidity is in the 50% range. Not exactly wet air, like Iowa. Flash floods in the south of the state, and anywhere there are large elevation spikes, of course as well. But those happen almost any time it rains in those areas and off the beaten track.

I happened to take a vocabulary test, to see where I fit in (shamelessly stolen from Ace of Spades HQ). Terrible, I was in the middle of average. At one time I truly had a large vocabulary, of course when I read books. I averaged three books a week for much of my early life, not including comic books if those count. And the bible was a common read. And I didn't read my age-group type books which I generally despised. I generally read the classics, then into politics and history. Over a couple of decades, that is a lot of Twain, Poe, Dickens, and the rest. I really would love to have a kindle like device, both for cheap reading material, quick access, and some other things. I just don't like kindle, the ability to yank books (or even alter them), and some other things about that and other devices. There were about a dozen words I once knew, but since I couldn't recall now what they mean, I had to skip them. Nope, even including the words I used to know, my score is just at the higher end of average. Ah well.

Hmm, back to bed. Maybe if I lay really still, sleep will creep in and plug me in my glass jaw? It was happy to pick on me on my drive home! Bastage!

That went well.

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Nothing fancy, but I did set up my medicine for the next two weeks. Yes, yes, I checked it twice, give or take. I also figured out what the problem was with a couple of folding knives I have. They were almost dangerous to open, they would get stuck about half way. You see, there is a little hex nut that actually controls the... Yeah, I had to know that. Why didn't I figure it out? Then again, when I first got them, my tools were still in storage and I doubt if I had hex that small at the time. Further, when I have a problem from the past, I can get stuck in the notions surrounding it. Rather than looking for solutions, I just stick with "It's broke, nothing I can do!". Well, they are fixed.

Gee, I need to get to sleep but I'm not sure I can. Hmm, something small to eat. A heated brot? Sure. I need to get a bit more fruit. Cherries, apples, grapes, all good. I wonder if there is something else though? Ah, and more carrots. Dang but I have started to really enjoy peanut butter with carrots. Anywhile, good night.

An easy, workable, trip.

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I must be honest with you. I did not think I would make it to the doctors today. It had nothing to do with want. With medicine that seemingly is on the right track, I am more like a man dieing of thirst heading to water. The operative word is dieing. I've been tripping over myself for a week or two, more?, now. Even before I lowered the main medicine by need. In any case, it is back on track or will be tomorrow. They have added one more medicine, a light diuretic called spironolactone, to the mix. I'll tell you, the heart transplant specialists are high energy people. They get a little animated when you go off the reservation. It's almost worth tweaking meds just to get the 'treatment'. I love psychic massages. And angry women types. Some like Farris Wheels, sky diving, diving with sharks, whatever. I like short, high pitched, animated female type people, sue me. I got all the meds, reloaded a few things, and got out. I do rush, but those places are full of dieing people. And though it is said I am in a dieing condition it damn well doesn't look like it.

After that I went to the CPAP place. Set up was a breeze. It seems their is a humidifier on the machine. I hadn't actually even opened it up yet so I had no clue what was in there. I can see the reason for humidifier plainly. I can get a touch dry, mostly through the nasals though sometimes in the throat, at night. Actually though, it has been... quite some time since I woke up dry. I think it had to do with staying up too long and sleeping too long, and those things happening far too often. I met one of the techs who might visit my home. She seemed normal enough. I did not get to meet the other tech. I am told he is short, with gray hair, and has tattoos on his legs. That is all the description I have of him and it is not enough. I doubt if they legally could tell me if he is black. If it got back to him, he could probably sue. I will find out. There was something on her face when I asked what the guy looked like. What I read from that was that the most obvious characteristic she could not, would not say. She was totally unprepared for the question. I usually get the best answers, one way or another, that way. Anyway, that is set up.

Oh, the Lord knows, I loves me some flirting. No, this isn't moves and grooves. I have no real motives. Some women just... connect. It isn't innocent, not like a child. But it isn't guilty, either. It is a sweet few moments between two consenting adults who have a physical and chemical attraction. I guess, for me, that is as close to free love as I get these days. And it is the sweeter for it. Even it is rare. And not all flirts are equal. Today I had one of the finest flirts in a very long time. I would actually put that in my top 10, ever. And I flirt like girls blink. Most flirtation is like teaching a child to play tennis... hit or miss but the effort is good. Today? Wimbledon! I'm a happy man. Love? Certainly not money. Then again not zero either.

When I finished with the CPAP I was in a hurry home. I was absolutely done. All I could do was stay on the road and keep directions logged into the queue. Bushed, tired, fried, frazzled, exhausted. I had promised I would check the mail but I could not force myself to do that. I did get everything in from the vehicle, I then figured out how to undress. I did find the bed, I think. And it was lights out. I did not use the CPAP, I simply couldn't have figured it out even if I had wanted to stay up the extra few minutes to do so. *BAM* I have no real idea of what time it was, though I think I saw 14:00 and change. I woke at 21:00 and change, had a bit of food, blogged, fed the cats, and am about to set up my medsets. I may just tinker a bit and try to sleep again, this time with the CPAP.

Oh, I did mention that I was having problems with my foot. That getting out walking was... a problem. But only because they asked and I updated them on my bike, too. I didn't think they could do a consult. Lo and behold, they can, and did! Oh, I still walk like hell and fire are coming down on me or the Spirit is with me. I can move like the wind and blow smaller people off their feet going by. But I can probably walk on fire too. I just wouldn't do it long or often. That bottom of the foot callus is hellaciously painful to walk on. Something like a sharp pebble taped to the palm of my foot. It tears, it cuts, it burns. It really has been slowing me down, come to think of it. I don't think about it until I motate, then I remember why the HELL I HAVEN'T BEEN MOTATING! *youch*

Yes, the bicycle goes in tomorrow. I don't know how I will do it. I am setting both alarms, plus my phone. I will try to get back to bed before long, and I will push and shove to get up, out, and going. This, as I see it, is as vital as medicine. Perhaps it is even more important. As I fell down on meds, I fell down on this, and everything else, for a bit. But that doesn't mean I even took a break or retreated and I definitely didn't quit. I simply, as I said, fell down. I have been trying to get up the whole time this time. I can't fall down anymore. Not and just sit there.

Have you all died? Few posts, little interaction? Ah, right, summer is in full swing. Fine. Do have some fun, get some work done, keep at it. I'll manage until you need a break. A little jealous, and worried. Then again, Puff the Magic Dragon always wonders if Jackie Paper will ever come back. Am I real if he doesn't? Yes, it just wouldn't seem like it.

A quiet but functioning night.

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I have made it through the rough part of staying awake. And I did clear out one of the areas that had bottle-necked in my sudden crash. My bedroom is looking much more open. I sorted and stored a number of boxes and laundry baskets of clean close while sorting dirty close, putting those separate piles in their own baskets, and taking those to the laundry area. I couldn't do much, or fast, just enough to keep the fires lit as I knew I would not wake up if I slept. And I NEED to get in there. I have been taking my medicine, but perhaps not properly. I was low on one medicine but was tinkering with another, possibly foolishly. Or, maybe, my health simply cycles no matter what I do. But this has been a rougher downside. Oh, and I will be having the CPAP set up today after my other appointments. I really do hate going to the doctors. At least I can drive myself though.

I still have to get the cat litter policed and the trash out. Then a shower, a shave, brushing my teeth, and be out by 6:00. Ugh, only an hour to go. I do love driving in the morning though, when it is cool. I just wish fewer bikers (bicycle type) hit the road early. They are difficult to spot and most either have no lights or what they have doesn't work well. I simply do not understand taking that kind of risk, especially while riding very expensive bikes. I guess I just don't understand. Even though I am grumpy about being slowed down, I wouldn't hurt them on purpose. But it can be awfully difficult to even see them that early and still half asleep.

Well, on to the rest of what I need to do to get going. Have a great day! Drive safely, as much as possible, should you need to go out. Auf Wiederschreibensehen. (don't look that up, I think I made it up)

Mind-fu? Could be.

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I keep tinkering with the design programs I have. The most promising one does have a method of writing into the design, but it is quite weak. It might have something to do with how I am attempting to scale things, though, so I may try to tweak that a bit. I am learning, but given that the company will not put out tutorials as those are a gifts for ponying up and paying for their mainline program "pro" version, the learning curve is rather steep. I am sure I have tinkered with AutoCAD at the university but I didn't get far there, either. While they may or may not have had a tutorial or dozen, hundred(?), I simply didn't have the time or a solid reason to devote more than moments tinkering. I am stuck, at this point, in trying to take a pair of concentric circles, what will be the building blocks for tires, and turning them to place them on the shaft that will become my axle. Never mind, I am working on it.

At Helen's, there is a discussion regarding how much men, compared to women, do around the house. I initially just spoofed a response. But after reading enough other responses, I had to suggest that men shouldn't be even discussing how much they do around the house. The home, classically, tribally, and in all other forms of history, has been a thing of the woman. It is her's to dress up, it is her's to manage, it is her's to clean. So I made it quite clear that I can't believe so many of the men there were just groveling to jump on the "Oh, I do so much, more even" bandwagon that I had to question the masculinity in the discussion. Beta at best, what gamma? at worst. I had to ask if marriage castrates men or if the particular group there is just hen-pecked and weak or liberal. I suggested they were debating feminism about as well as Boehner is debating the Democrats. At that pace, they might as well surrender and start sitting to pee, taking crumpets with their tea (which they will serve), and start wearing "man" aprons. Bah!

In another discussion, I suggested that most of the women I have known have been rather narcissistic, if allowed the lead. Which I most certainly do not. A strong male presence seems to tamp the natural inclinations of a woman, to keep her in check. Like it or not, it has worked for me like a charm. Still not married, but there is more to that than meets the eye as well. I certainly wasn't sure I wanted to marry. I picked women who... didn't really have those instincts or could be kept by mere promise. Well, for most of my 'career'. Earlier on, if I hadn't been moving around so much, I might have done just that, gotten married. Thank you Navy. Seriously, after finding out how high the divorce rate is in the service, I was quite happy not to have gotten in too deep.

No, I think most women are as I suggest, most modern women. And, yes, a strong male presence and some solid competition to make the score clear, plus some excellent sack time keeps the thing manageable. It's always there, waiting to sneak out. Just like my one-eyed friend. Ha! Now, maybe most women really aren't like that when they are natural and normal (though I think it is probably only a milder form). But when women are either fixed (hysterectomy) or on the pill, I think that is when the monsters that they really are come into full bloom. Yes, that is my bet. And I will lay my arm to your head on the chopping block awaiting proof. Looser splats.

I have again started reading, in my prelude to studying economics. "What is Wrong with the World", by Chesterton. And yes, I am trying to read some of it out loud, as I had suggested. Don't read it! If you don't want to know that we are facing merely an advanced group of the same type of people he was naming and decrying. Oh they have gotten there way and come a long way from his time, but it is the very same group of people, the same poorly devised policies, the same corruption. Only now they have the worst of the least in the presidency of the most powerful nation on earth, or... what used to be, could be, should be. Wonderful reading. If you have never read him, just imagine me, only smart, clever, good with words, and slightly more diplomatic (if not quite in a politically correct manner). Or, that is how I see things.

Tonight was meat night! I had been thawing the meats in the fridge. Whether because of the dry climate, higher heat, or relatively cooler house (no, cause it happens in the winter too), I can't get things to thaw in the refrigerator. I have to take them out. No, no, I keep the reefer just right, so veggies and milk neither freeze nor even frost, even when veggies aren't in the bins. I really wonder if it is the arid nature of the region? In any case, brots and beef ribs on the bone were in the offing. Absolutely fantastic foods. I keep overdoing the brots. They seem to be very tricky though. Two cooking cycles is too little, three is too much. I keep working on it, and have it down to that point. Next time I will try splitting the difference. The beef ribs were perfect, they go four cooking cycles, one cycle on each side. Nummm!

I have to be going very early in the morning. And I must admit I am sweating it. I might try to tear into things and make it an all-nighter. I simply do not think I can get up early. I haven't been able to for days, my wake time has steadily climbed into the early afternoon. *BAM* No choice. Oh, I have awaken at 9:00 several mornings. I had zero capacity to do more than go right back to sleep. The alarm does nothing, often I haven't even been hearing it. Or I wake way late only to realize I must have shut it off. Heck no, that doesn't mean I am quitting. It only means I'm in a funk. So I have to consider that when trying to make plans.

Hmm, more ribs! Later.

Some thoughts.

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The West is dying. Multiculturalism is one of the diseases. Some will quibble, those who have some sort of agreement, that multiculturalism is merely a symptom. That debate, while reasonable, is not the crux of today's thoughts. The question is, how will and how should multiculturalism be handled. There are many ways to deal with it. Most will seem draconian in modern parlance. Sentiment, mood, and common thought have been poisoned by those who support egalitarianism and the rest of that. Most people have had this idea crammed into their forced integration minds beyond what their own eyes tell them. They believe even though they know it is not true.

Segregation, as I mentioned the other day, is gaining steam. Not a lot of steam, and it hasn't gone mainstream. But all it will take is a match. Something I realize is that segregation is not a functional means of dealing with the situation over the long term. It is no more a solid answer than what we have today, though it could be a functional short term political and social device in resetting the world as we know it. And, yes, it can be done. It would require, most likely, marshal law. There are always... questions... about martial law. But again, this is not the main crux of the notion. Nor is it required for a solid, workable, long term solution.

The solution I propose is to use the laws of those who do not adhere to Western methods and laws on them, though not in their way, but ours. For example, sharia law places non-muslims into a second class citizenship. Neither are they fully protected by the law nor are they allowed to participate in the laws, some business potential, or government either through voting or holding office. What I propose, for muslims, is that they be held to the same situation, though it be based on whether they are Christian since that is the local majority. All of sharia laws would bind muslims in America but be based on our norms and customs. It would be giving them their cake and us eating it. For Europeans, I suppose it would have to be based on atheism, socialism, or some such.

How long would that stay as an active part of our legal system? As long as we have people living here in large number who wish to subvert our systems. Any group, socialists, communists, atheists, who chooses to change our system to their system would be held to their ideals. People would get to choose... American or something else first. If they choose something else first, our laws would accommodate their lifestyle. You are a socialist, you say? Then you have no property rights and would be taxed according to socialist national averages, for example.

Oh, it would never fly. But that isn't always the point. It WOULD work, but then when has our government ever done anything that does work? Other than, of course, what is good enough for government work.

Interesting things, at least to me.

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I've been looking over goats, again. It seems you probably can't have milk goats that are good for meat. What you can do is have a full blood meat buck and milk does. The offspring, needed to induce milk production anyway, will then be at least half of a good meat stock and so useful for that. Of course, the process of turning a kid into dinner is no small task. Many people who think about it don't realize you probably wouldn't be able to do it all in a day. The first part, killing, bleeding, skinning, and gutting would be one days work. You could get fast enough to do this in, say, a few minutes. But the meat then needs to cool slowly, over at least a day but preferably several days. Then you have to part the meat. I have done this with a deer. I did a poor job of it, but good enough to get the meat processed after I got it off the bones. It was about the same size as a large goat, and from what I have seen, the process is exactly the same. A lot of work, but it would definitely be worth it.

While considering goats in general, I looked through various articles regarding goat milk. If I had, say, two milking does, that would offer anywhere from a gallon to six gallons a day! A bit much for even my milk loving ways. But there are other things you can do with goat milk. Cheeses, butter, ice cream, yogurt, take your pick. All of it would have to be for home consumption, mind you. I don't know what the regulations are for milk sales, but for meat it has to be USDA inspected before it can be sold. And, really, they only do that at slaughterhouses. They actually inspect while the animal is being butchered, which means a small group of butchers at a time simply wouldn't draw them to inspect. For sales I would have to find a commercial butcher who would accept a contract. For milk? Cheese? Anything edible? No idea, so far. My guess is it would be a nightmare. But the soap I could sell, if I could find an outlet. Just thinking. I am not really interested in going commercial, I would merely be interested in breaking even beyond the meat and milk production cost versus expense. Yes, a free lunch would be nice. Or, as free as lunches get. It might not truly be possible though, due to regulations.

The more I think of this, the more likely I am, should I survive long, that I will eventually have goats. Nubian does for milk and a Boer buck for the meat side of it. Though I don't know if such a large male would cause problems for the does. Things to consider over time. Those bucks are large, in the 240-300 pound range. That's my size! The nubian does are large, but still 65 pounds lighter than Boer. Hmm, perhaps a mostly nubian mixed with boer doe? Just thinking.

I've been looking over other design programs. The only thing of any real use for my purposes is free, but only for a month. Then the price goes way up. AutoCAD is offered for a month of free use. After that it is, if I recall rightly, passed $3k and nearly into $4k, before taxes, title, fees, and whatever else Uncle Sam is calling the robbery these days. I keep looking for something useful and free. It seems most of them either don't actually allow writing or measurements to be put into the designs, or it just isn't working on my machine. I may simply have to do this old school. Yeah, I know, probably a silly project. But it is something somewhat like engineering. And, yes, I do like doing that stuff. I would love to put my home and outbuildings into design programs, and tinker with them there, too. I r a nerd, sort of. I guess I want to be a nerd. (I've literally been chastised by women for calling myself a nerd. Good looking women too. Sometimes I am clueless... or is it a trick?) No, I am clueless. It just doesn't seem to matter though.

Good night.

A visit.

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The neighbor stopped by, with a young one in tow. Eggs. A gift for using the pasture. Fresh farm eggs are definitely a plus! He also brought over a city phone book, in several forms. Very nice indeed. The young one reminds me of Newt, from Aliens. Before the invasion, to be sure... but I could see it. Something about cute just isn't enough to describe her. I am wondering if this weekend was the celebration that was 'coming up'. Pioneer days, or some such, is celebrated locally and is nearly as big as the 4th of July celebrations. I had wanted to attend. Even if I hadn't lost track I don't think I am in the kind of shape to have gotten out, not for long, with large groups, on a hot day. Perhaps some day I will begin scouting a bit more. Perhaps I will always remain a recluse of sorts.

I have been continuing to sample various cheeses. I keep a few around I know I like and then add a new type from time to time. The last new type was curds. I don't really care for it as I found this particular brand. It tasted like either a salty mozzarella or a mozzarella cheddar mix. However, I hate to waste. Being out of shredded cheese, I decided to put it on the last of my frozen burritos. It melted well enough and tasted pretty good that way. I am thinking gruyere and brie next. I know I don't like brie straight up. Perhaps on crackers, with sausage, or in some other kind of paring? I don't think I like gruyere either, not really. But I am exploring other uses of cheese. It's... something to do.

I may actually consider buying a case or two of table wine and some beer next month. I don't plan to drink heavily, but I do believe a bottle of beer or glass of wine per night would be a beneficial thing. Though I would like to add scotch into the midst, I am going a bit lower scale for now. Fortunately or not, my taste in scotch has become a bit rich. Johnny walker red is way out, and even black is akin to swallowing a glass of medium grit sandpaper. About the lowest I go is a single malt that I like, which starts at about $60 (give or take, market dependent) to my absolute favorite, which runs at about $150-$200 a bottle. Thankfully Budweiser and table wine will do for those other tastes. Regardless of what many say, Budweiser is a fine simple beer. Oh, I have tasted the expensive stuff, some of it I even adore. German and monk beers get my toot on big time. But I can still appreciate the humble beer. As for wine, I do not need single year, small vineyard, vintage stuff. A good solid bodied confected wine that changes little from year to year due to mixing is fine by me. Again, I have tasted the better wines, even one that cost $4k (bleh). I'll take table wine, and thank you. If you want to try wines, California is the place you ought to go. Though a South African wine has become one of my favorites. I think I may explore this area a bit too, but only in the lower priced table wine sorts. Just varieties to sip with some cheese or sausage or various meats.

As time goes on, I may begin trying to stock up on monk beer and German beer. Actually, last I heard, all German breweries were foreign owned! But you know what I mean. A case every other month of one of those, and in a year or two I would have stock to simply replace when used. And... used it would be. The thing is, could I keep my hands off it in the interim? Bah. Quiet you. Similar with wine, as well. If you are going to stock up on food, why not some spirits too. While it is hot here, my basement always remains rather cool and yet never freezes. Plus, I am not thinking a 20 year supply or such. A few years, perhaps. You do realize beer and wine are foods, right? And medicine. Same with scotch. When I did wet work on the sub, came in cold and wet, I was offered a touch of that last by the captain. To... cure what ailed me. And I think it did! I just stopped drinking it and it crept back.

Blathering. But I seem to be able to do little else. Later or good night.

You know though...

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Yes, I am stuck. And, finally, I do believe it is totally physically based. I shouldn't be doing as "well" as I am. Literally. My condition is severe enough that most people with as much wrong with me, are completely down. This condition doesn't just affect the body, it effects the mind, and mood. It doesn't feel like that should be true, but it is. That I push past is something special. I have to rearrange my attitude about my condition, but I won't quit pushing for more, either, though. No, but I was thinking...

As bad as it is for me, I do pretty good. I even have a reason to just lay down, quit, take it easy, do nothing. I just can't. So, what is the government's problem? How can they be lamer than me? What disease of the state is so bad that when it doesn't function correctly it functions self-destructively? Our government is committing suicide in what should be a healthy time. Oh, the finances aren't healthy you say? That is a symptom, not the disease.

The pain is going.

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I seem to be in less pain as time passes. Now it is not both patches slightly out and up from the shoulder blades that hurts, mostly just the right one. It does take the medicine a bit, to do whatever it does, after starting or restarting. Especially when I missed a few additional single doses in there too. It will take even a bit longer for my stats to come down, I would guess. My pulse, oddly, has stayed down once it was initially brought down. From 120 as a high, it has come down into the 80 range, plus or minus as much as 12 per minute. Sleep is still screwy. But then I am not sure how much any improvement was simply a temporary thing, a local 'high'. I do suspect that the right medicine has helped a great deal though. And it certainly hasn't accentuated the lows. It does seem that missing medicine complicates everything vastly, and cutting back isn't the way to go, but it is something I have had to do being short and all.

I am, again, tripping over myself. I simply can't get things done and I am in a bit of trouble that way. I am not sure what exactly to do about it other than to keep trying. At least I am holding to that. I am also trying to expand some things, like getting into reading and messing with that design program. I might have to look for another program though, as this one doesn't seem to have a function which will let me type words and number into the designs. Then again, maybe no free design program will. On the good side, what you learn in one program will help with the next. You just have to do a quick study and figure out how what you used in the last one to do things is actually done in the new program. And I have learned a goodly bit. Though some of the advanced tools either don't work because this machine is really old or because the software isn't as open as it would appear.

The little things I could do, and want to do, really do just get lost though. That is where I hate the illness the most. I simply get stuck and can't break out of whatever I am doing. I am staying up, but my days are again creeping out and up, later and later. I'll just keep digging.

I read something about men now doing as much, or if you believe it more, housework than their wives at Helen's blog. For my part, when I have had a woman, that has never been true. And, I mean it not to be true. Women are much fussier about the houses I have shared, the cleanliness and order. I got frustrated with women on this issue after the first or second one I lived with and just quit trying. Oh, and I have appreciated it, certainly, their work. The only thing I ever did, at one time, was cook. For the most part I leave the home to the woman, whether she works or not. No, they don't always like it. There just isn't another option, really. It's a package thing. If it comes to a fight or vacuuming, I will be gone fishing before she can turn back to glare at me... and I will wait for something to catch her attention 'over there'. The Lord knows I love and am thankful for those delightful little Jedi mind tricks... *tap, tick, tock* "What's that..."... "Where did he go!"... "Oh... a... fishing we will go... yes, sir... a fishing we are gone... you bet... Ah, life is so carefree!" I have helped on special occasions, mind you. And I will move furniture around. And I will fix things. But I won't vacuum, dust, or some of that other stuff. Well, not in a woman's time frame of 'need', anyway.

Oh, what is that behind you? Well, on to something today. Have a great day.

Oh sure, I knew that.

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No, you don't need a router and router table, you don't need a bisket cutter, you don't need a table saw, band saw, drill or drill press. You really don't. I knew an Amish craftsmen who did everything by hand. Then again, he had tools for EVERYTHING. More than a modern woodcrafter could ever imagine. And, my guess is, his tools would have cost more to replace by several times over electric tools, if you could find some of them. Many were handed down or horse-traded, no doubt. It took six weeks to build a dresser though. Well, some of that time was making room for the item in his schedule by finishing off other orders. But the vast majority of that time was cutting, gluing, chiseling, planing, sanding, and varnish plus a top coat. How much do power tools cut out of that? I would guess 30% to possibly 60%, depending on the size and other particulars. Even keeping in rabbets and the other good joinery.

So, as I look over my tools, I realize I need more. For this job I could probably get away with a router, with the right bits. I don't need to make rabbets, and certainly nothing more complicated than box joints. Still, I need a jig for it. The good news is the jig will work for the whole of my various boxes and door. I suppose I could just tap a few nails in, or wood screws, and glue. I know I can't cut everything on 45 degree angles and try that. I simply don't have the skill and don't want to mess up that much wood!

I guess I thought you could do things a bit more easily. And, while you can, the assumption is you have done these things before (or close enough) and you have a serious woodworkers set of tools. I know, maybe people just grab a box of inexpensive nails they happen to have on hand, and what wood they can salvage, and call it good. I probably should too. I suppose the only reason I am thinking about trying to do it correctly is because I am considering building my own cabinets. From what I have seen of cabinets, they either aren't worth any money or they cost more than I could afford by as much as what I am paying for my house as is! It is insane. Solid wood will cost you. Good craftsmanship will cost you. Truly solid wood and superior quality are out of your budget. So, I might as well gear up a bit and get some practice in.

You do know, this is probably all bunk. I know it might be too. My capacity is limited. I guess I do believe I can expand my capacity. The bike is the key, most likely, to start with. Do you realize you can burn upwards of 8k calories on a bike in a three hour tour? Oh, not you, not pedaling like that. But that is the capacity. Of course, if doing that on a standard style of multi-geared bike, it would mean pedaling 25-28 mph on a flat surface, 21-25 mph in the mountains (which means taking as many "enhancement" drugs when and where you can though too, let's be honest here). I do think, if I can't get to that level, I could get to half of that... if I can ever get it going, (speed reduced due to it being a mountain bike, of course). I do things compulsively, once I get started. And I HATE going slow. On a bike, since I am the engine, I am thinking I would seriously lean into the task. You should see me walk. I would guess most of you couldn't keep up without jogging.

I am not sure if getting in shape will help, as I don't think my physical condition is the problem, only another symptom. But I do have hope. And not the hope that comes to the truly desperate or those about to die. There is still real potential. My ups and downs are not as severe, my outlook is improving just by knowing what the problem is, and I am in the right place to do more, to expand. You know, if I actually did make my own cabinets, someone else might want some made. They buy the wood and, say, do other work I need done in trade, plus a little cash? I wouldn't want to do it full time or professionally. I would get lost and overwhelmed. But a few jobs a year would pay for the tools. Who knows.

Good night.

Heat, half doses of medicine, or what?

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Today has been a rough day. I did not get the bike in, call about this or that, nothing. I have a ton of things I need to do and I simply can't remember, focus, push. There is nothing to keep me on track. Add in that I haven't been taking my medicine as well as I should be. Not on purpose, I simply haven't been focusing well. On the good side, I don't chalk this up to the medicine in the first place. This is more like how things used to be, not an exacerbated normal low. My blood pressure is up a bit, but that may be due to missing medicine. At least I can still fight to keep on trying. It is merely disappointing. I don't need a rest, I need to push when and where I can. And, I will.

Perhaps I can at least manage to get my home back in order this weekend. I would also like to check for wasps in the coop, spray if needed, and keep checking and spraying until they are gone. If no wasps, or when they are gone, it will be time to take materials out there. I can do nothing with the bike, myself. And I am not interested in paying some large price for an unassociated bike mechanic to tell me what I already know and have him try to sell me an expensive brake system. I can't even do it Monday as I have to travel. I have an appointment in the morning and early afternoon. Busy. Tuesday, if I can raise my own carcass early enough, is as soon as I can get that bike going.

Disappointing. I have so much to do. I just can't seem to get to it. Oh, I will be learning how to join the wood walls for my solar cooker today. There are many methods. I won't be making rabbits or other fancy things. I haven't made a wooden box, before, actually. My mind is going over possibilities. I called my mom back, after missing her call this morning. I was telling her a bit about it. She should be interesting to have try it out. She is rather... normalized. She saw farm life and rejected that. She likes quick, easy, easy to maintain, functional, cheap. Considering how little a solar oven costs and that there is no fee to run it, and it doesn't heat the house, she might really like this item. The downside is either adjusting it every half hour to hour or the slower cooking process, well, and having to leave the warm or cool home to face the elements while filling and adjusting it.

On with... something. Have a great day.

Segregation?

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I see people are beginning to think things that would have been unspeakable for the last forty years. It is being whispered in the corners of the political spheres, but not from the out and out racist sectors. The neo-Nazis and other purists are pretty much a dieing breed. Their brand of socialism, in any case, is what brought in the kind of power that has been needed to force disparate races of men into some kind of a terrible social forced integration experiment. At some point even stupid kids grow up enough to figure out that Hitler, Stalin, Mao, once they gained power, did whatever they wanted. And much of it was quite unlike what they had promised. Forced integration in schools, work, the military, along with sex integration, has been a terrible flop. It has increased the cost of schooling per child in the range of medical cost increases, without the concurrent increase in lifespan that medicine has at least brought to the table (mediocre as even that is) but instead created a decrease in capacity to teach of academics to seriously culture and civil destroying levels of ignorance and apathy among the young. Only socialism could have brought the forcing of integration among peoples, some of them wholly unworthy of being allowed full access due to their proclivity to violence from their natural lower intelligence.

Segregation? Not so long as the federal government remains this socialist and this strong. But it is busily burying it's power in debt. What does a broke government do? It begs. Who does it beg? The majority. What does the majority want? Safety, perhaps some payback. Of course, that is why this government is busily trying to keep our southern boarders open and our airports free of enforcement. They aren't even really kicking out doubly criminal illegal immigrants. By the way, if a doubly criminal illegal alien is in our prison system if (when) an amnesty takes place, does he gain that amnesty? Oh... Really? It is like a calculus problem where two parallel functions are going to zero. If they can get the minority population high enough before the government goes broke, they (in their version of things) win. Of course, there are variables. Abortion, something they support, kills huge swaths of minorities. On "our" side, our women don't want to have children and eat the pill like candy (which also hurts families... they don't call it the divorce medicine for nothing).

Who is going to win or what is actually going to end up happening is anyone's guess. Functions like these aren't linear, and these times are nearly unprecedented in some ways (nuclear weapons and other technologies make it so). But that is the game afoot. It is a convoluted poisonous political battle for the last remaining hope for a free world, or even a free place in an otherwise enslaved world population. a place to gain (and lose) wealth, and a chance at being your own man. This is the last vestige of the West. Without it, the other (and arguably even freer pockets of civilization) will crumble or be stormed. And, it is dieing from more diseases than I can count. Even the "friends" we think we have are merely enemies of a lesser sort. Boehner, Gingrich, and the rest of the group are no more for us than the Democrats they debate. For them the thing is merely academic. Even what they are for they aren't good at, as if they are really trying. Between talking each other out of doing the right thing for their opponents to not having a clue of what is really wanted or perhaps believing they don't have the capacity to grant what is wanted? While their opponents merely say "No" to whatever they propose, "our allies in politics" whittle at their own meger proposals! They haven't got a spine between them. They just want to be re-elected without having to do what they said they would do.

Ah well, we will see. If government hits zero before minority becomes majority, perhaps even the other way, there will come a time of decisions. There is a reason minorities are minorities in successful nations. When they become majority, either they are removed or the nation fails. Everywhere. Always. But with an old population of the majority versus a young minority, the thing becomes quite iffy. It should be interesting to watch. Europe first. Then us. Of course, when Europe falls it will be too late to change things here. Actually, I think Europe is through. Five years, max, is what remains to them. Then they either fight for their lives in a very desperate way or cease being anglo with a law based on Judeo-Christian ethics.

What makes me laugh the hardest about the whole show is that the people who are the strongest proponents of forced integration; academics, leftist political types (both politicians and activists), the medical field, leftist "Christians", and a few others; are the most lily white group of people I have ever seen. Purists to a group, exclusionist to a man, xenophobic beyond any reckoning, these people have done everything in there power to deny what they are, and yet all you need to do is see pictures of them in groups and do some head counting. Further, most of their political activity centers around killing minorities, from abortion (can't think of abortion without Sanger), to anti-DDT (and all chemicals good and helpful for a healthy population, to include bleach, pesticides, fertilizers) which allows millions, hundreds of millions, of deaths in poor nations (minority run, don't you know), on into every policy they propose. The very people who call people like me a racist are not only rather heavily white but genocidal against minorities. Oh, and the 'beautiful brown "noble savages" (Uncle Toms) who get their people onboard to those very policies are amazing. Need a Planned Parenthood building somewhere? Why, get in touch with the Obamas, Jacksons, or other "community organizers". He'll find a place in one of his communities and get the people their fired up for it. Wow. Just... Wow. ...'Suicide is painless, it brings on many changes, I can take or leave it as I please' Or... not.

Lots of research.

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Looking for specific items on the interwebz is not always as easy as one might think. (-China, always -China) If it looks too good, it really probably isn't what it says or you think. Cheap? Sure, refurbished without being refurbished or stolen. Even when you are dealing with legite sellers, they are absolutely some of the most dishonest people you can know. And quality has dropped hugely. We are now buying disposable junk that really, quite often, can't be fixed, not reasonably. Most of it you wouldn't want to fix. Mad? Who, me? Fuck yeah. Tired too.

In any case, I found some things I need but couldn't get this machine to go through the check-out process. I also started looking around at 18v cordless drills (and sets). Lord help me, but... I saw an excellent DeWalt 5-piece set. Along with two extra batteries, it was right under $500. I Do HAVE the money. I just can't do it this month. Bills coming up, keeping some money in savings and the various checking accounts, and all kinds of things could be coming down. If I can get to the roof in another month, when I find out what the other costs are, I might consider it then if I have been a good boy and socked away a bit more. Three steps forward, one step back, that is how it is going to go now that I am back in some kind of reasonable shape to make my will good. I would like to have just enough in savings for any last minute critical buys should I see the end of sunrises as we know them. Or, so the story goes. We will see. But I have been doing darn good, even when I am in a down time. I never fall too far and always catch up and get ahead when the getting is good. For two or three months now, the trajectory has been skyward or at least mid-morning sunward, and in the right direction to boot. I have been spending on wool socks (a ton) and new underwear and clothes over the last six months. Size has changed and I want to have extra and new. You have no idea how valuable wool socks will be. And they last forever. Hmm, maybe I should put my off-sized clothing in storage? Come to think of it, yes.

Oh, the only physical pains that remain after falling off medicine for a few days baffle me. Imagine you had wings attached to your back, and the area they would most likely be. Now imagine if they had been chopped or burned off (the two sensations can be quite similar, if you don't know. Trust me.) Most of the pain has faded now, it feels more like the areas have scabbed and I feel some of the pain of loss and some of the itchy burning from the healing process. Scratching is ill advised and doesn't help anyway. Don't ask me what would cause such pains, I only know what I feel.

Well, time to get to bed. I have spent hours pouring over tons of material, tinkering with the design program, tinkering in general, and I am tired. But I like that I am 'going somewhere' again. Good night, sweet mortalings. Don't let the succubus or incubus bite. Sure, demons are straight... Californians aren't. Bah! hahahaha

Tinkering, but not just stupid tinkering.

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I have been considering how to get the plans for the solar oven in order. As much for myself as for others. I could do hand drawn schematics and try and get my multi-printer to work. Yes, there is that. Or I could try to find a free design program, tinker with it, and make the thing somewhat presentable. Hoping of course I could print that and scan it or even figure out how to directly input that so even people without the program could use the drawings. I went with the latter. To that end, I pulled down 3DCrafter. I have been tinkering on it for a bit, since I got back, after I found it, downloaded and installed it anyway. I have a generic rectangle inside another rectangle and something that passes for a door 3D wire door, all together and spaced proportionately, in wire frame, together so far.

Oh, it is going to be a minor headache. I haven't gone through the tutorials yet, which might help. Not bad, actually, for just tinkering. I think. I will probably try to put in dimensions, thicknesses on some things, and such before getting to the finer details of instructions. Since it is free, I doubt if I will be able to do cut-away views, with dimensions and textures. Then again, I haven't been successful using textures at all, yet. With a rough outline, I am hoping to build on it as I put the real thing together. Should I frame the mylar, or the 3 outer parts of it? What type of construction will I need to hold the double plate glass? How thick will the oven door need to be to be useful, and how to frame it and insulate it?

I suspect that if I do it as I go, I will have a much easier time of rendering things than if I simply try to do it after all is done and the contraption is sitting there looking at me like I should have written everything down. Yeah, sometimes things can be just like women. Or is it, that like Zeus, a woman or more have crawled inside my head and are wanting out. Oh, sthey... Howdy pink pilgrim... Where is my STINKING HAMMER. Gotta fix that. If you aren't into mythology, don't even worry about all that. Just thank goodness Zeus went for the hammer and not the interior design school of the gods. That's... all I'm saying. (Ever wondered if it was actually Thor's hammer. Sure the gods all knew each other, and Thor had probably more than once considered caving Zeus's head in... just... another thought.)

It turns out I have to go to town again tomorrow. The bike guy and I just missed today. I will call, as early as I can, and see if I can just bring the thing in. If something actually is wrong, as I suspect strongly at this point, he will have to make the call. If it is just some trick, I will then know it. Plus he might give some pointers on how to set it up and where to get more information on this particular bike. It's an oddball. Oh, and not only does the large tall (tall) shirt fit, but so do the really tight 40's from back then (40's). I just wasn't doing well enough to send them back. I still hate the pockets on the Land's End jeans (jeans), way to small, girly seeming. But they fit and it is too late to return them, so... Oh, fine, I'll quit messing with you you. Ha

ha

A break from tinkering, a little food, some goofing tinkering, then who knows what else. Have a good evening.

Have you ever argued with a woman?

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Sounds, to me, a lot like this. Especially my last gal. Oh, and when, yes indeed, I did, she kept on digging that hole. I finally found something that got her to back off. I started making bets. I started with a quarter. When we couldn't agree, and she wouldn't shut up, I bet a quarter. She went along with it. I had piles of quarters. I made a mistake, though I think it paid off enough to have been worth it. I bet her my half of the rent for two months (that Cinco de Mayo was something about Mexicans beating the French, under Napoleon I believed, she believed it was (a, the) Mexican Revolt against Spain). Bam! And I held her to it. No more quarters as she refused to ever even bet those again. If I wanted her to shut her pie hole, I just said bet or shut it when she would try to go on and on. It worked like a remote control. She would storm off saying something about me thinking I was always right. I just quipped something about wishing I could get more free rent and that she shouldn't hate me 'cause I r smart. hehe Anyway, this brings back memories so I thought I would share.


*BAM* To the moon, Alice... Not one of these days, but ToDay! Oh... that had to hurt!

I could sit and play that ALL DAY LONG. But... Doh, I need to call and get going, or not, or something. I guess twenty viewings will have to do for now. Bah! AND Bah... hahahahahahahahahaha!

About those dishes.

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Okay, so I got busy with my procrastination. At least there was some movement. But I also never got my cookies. Trade-offs, you know. Today I have to get the bike in, then return in time to take Sam in. I hate making two trips but that is just the way of things. It is far too hot to leave Sam in the vehicle. And yet, without having a clear idea of how long a visit with the bike-man of Walcatraz might take, I can't just leave Sam at the vet and try to do that. Plus, the timing might be off. I am about to call, hopefully getting to speak directly with the wrench wielder, to set up a good time to catch him (though it might reasonably be later in the week).

While I was sorting something, I found unopened shirts I had meant to send back. When I first tried them, I realized I would never fit them. Quite a bit too small last I checked. After losing just 15 pounds in water weight though they fit perfectly. Maybe even a bit loose, though washing should fix that. I had to measure my chest, out of curiosity. Hmm, that doesn't make sense. When I moved here I wore, plus or minus just a bit depending on the day, XXLT (two extra large tall). I am now a LT (large tall). Hey, I love this sign language stuff (stuff). Never mind. Measuring my chest though... I have only lost one inch in chest size. I went from 52" (fifty two inches) to 51" (fifty one inches). (No, I'm not going to do that all day and everywhere (everywhere).)

Ah, goofy moods in the morning are fun. They might not be worthy of sharing. Though some people might get a kick out of it. Beats more whining? Not more wining, which is it's own thing, at least if you aren't in the search for a 12-step group. Been there done that but I got better. Some really can't on their own. I have always wondered how real anything is. Of course I doubt anything "psychiatry" and "psychology". Heck, I doubt officially, academically, standardized common medicine, and on into holistic and homeopathy for the most part. Mom's remedies often worked (though weren't always the best, either). I don't know if any of you had this, but my mother would put butter on burns. It always worked out, but in a more serious burn, the butter will insulate the area and cause the burn to go deeper than it otherwise would, potentially making it more serious. Then again, I think she switched to just cold water... or the butter was for someone who wouldn't use the water? Something. Anyway, that's my goofy brain on 'morning'. Hey, but even after a later night I am up a bit earlier again.

They have me journaling my bp and weight. The nice thing about that, beside what it does for them, is that it makes clear what time I am getting up, and patterns, as I decided to log the time as well. Perhaps that is, or will, help get me on track. I see I am battling a bulge toward noon. Two days of earlier rises in a row. It is such a struggle to fall asleep though, at times. Other nights I just can't seem to get enough good sleep.

I did email the maker of the solar oven, by the way. I doubted, since the latest post was in '08, that I would receive a response, or a timely one. In my email this morning was a response. I had indicated what changes I would make and he thought those sounded reasonable. Though he won't be in contact much this summer, he is about to take a bike ride. He certainly has no clue how 'fast' I work, so no need to worry about a cross country bike ride interfering! But that is all good. I jumped the gun a bit on that, but since I had already started on design plans and was already shopping for aluminized mylar last night, I thought maybe, just maybe, I might actually move on this. I am motivated to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING, to get me up, out, moving, doing. Something I don't fear as much as other things I am curious about or which are on my list. Fear of money, time, timing, effort, coordination. Something I might be able to do piecemeal, as I can afford, but really move fairly quickly on.

For example, the roof on the coop will require, in addition to what I have already laid out, the rental of a construction dumpster, the moving of construction materials to the site, a complete teardown of what is on that roof, a rebuild of base wood (perhaps even rafters if they look/feel bad), a tar paper type layer over that, drilling of several various holes (which I am not sure my cordless will manage and it's a bit far for my cord I think, so I might have to consider a more powerful cordless drill (and two batteries)), and probably some weather sealing around the screws (which I am unsure about, though I think perhaps some type of clear calking). Yeah, okay. Well, the first part, ordering in a construction dumpster? That is, from what I have heard, around $200 (and I'm not even sure if that is for a week, a month, or what, nor am I sure if there is then a removal fee). If it is a week, that would require a hellalot of work to be planned, coordinated, and completed in a hurry (though I could do the teardown ahead of time, but that is risky with the beasties in the pen, for them without building a small fenced area to keep them out and then being careful in the teardown), or several weeks of rental (which I don't want to afford). And, actually, I haven't even checked for wasps again yet. Yeah... it gets complicated and potentially very expensive very fast. That's all. I just didn't see all that up front until I had most of the materials and was really thinking I would begin digging in. I need something just a wee less... immense, for now. I'll be into a new roof for... heck... a thousand dollars, maybe two, and work. Something. But I will have all the junk off the property, I will have a functional coop, I will have a good roof on it. Not a bad price but too much for right now to quite see myself through, in many ways.

Well, on to the day. I best get finding out about the bike-man before he flies the coop or it gets too late. If you are having a bright cheery sunny day, super. Just understand... You probably don't know what is going on. Wish I could join you! Bah, but have a great day.

A road trip.

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I hated starting up the vehicle for such a short trip. After doing a search for aluminized mylar online, I decided to see if Walmart carried it. No deal, they had nothing like it, save perhaps tape that was similar. It may be a special order item, or even only really available online. If D.C. is correct, and I believe him I just like... checking, than the design I am considering, with the mylar, might get well above the 400 F temps offered by the mirrors. A 5% to 10% increase might not apply directly to temp, but it would have an impact. But more, mylar would most likely be cheaper, easier to install, and last longer than glass mirrors. All good things.

The dishes are probably ready to wash but... Okay, fine, I do procrastinate on some things. I will do at least what I have soaking, three loads worth, before I go to bed... Mom. I'm still running a bit hot, not felt temp but my energy levels have taken a bump. Those meds really do something. And I am on half doses until my medicine arrives or I can get in for my next appointment, since I am low on meds. I suppose I could call in and get meds here in a flash. But to be honest with you, and since it was my fault, I hate to add expense to what they are already doing for me. Oh, sure, I don't trust them. But I am starting to think they are doing the best they know how. And, yes, that means something. Perhaps as my head clears, or as I get to know them, I do actually feel that they are trying. We have slightly different goals, or sub-goals, and different beliefs about some things, but our ultimate goal is the same.

Or they have gotten into my head, like they Xavier did to Wolverine. Well, actually, I know they are and try. And, I let them a bit. Well, doctor, it all started with my mother. She said things like, "You really don't want to do that". Now, I knew I really did want to do that. Between fear and love and need, I started saying, "You are right, I really don't want to do that". And, I started, at first just in her sight, then later on my own, not to want to do that. And yet, I always still really wanted to do that. The layers after that are... unfathomable. Shut up already. ;P

A bit of tinkering to cool down, some dishes, then bed time. I hope you are busy unwittingly swallowing your nighttime supply of bugs. Happy dreams.

Hmm, interesting.

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It's been a long time since I tried to make a schematic from written instructions. First, getting the aspect correct, then fitting two boxes inside each other sort of separately. Oh, just a spatial nonity to be sure, but a puzzle for a beginner. Just an embarrassing thing to have forgotten for me. My engineering professors might have chuckled at that, anyway. I don't have those particular materials, though I think, if I get the correct insulation, the materials on hand will do nicely. I might even have enough for the two boxes. I will probably do things a bit differently in one regard. I will probably set the thing on wheels on front or back, legs on the other side, so that the thing is mobile. While I like the notion of fixing it, I don't have the right place with sure sun access. I am not going to plant the thing in my front yard. A little further out in the country, that might be reasonable. I simply couldn't find a reasonable house such as that. Compromise, always and everywhere. And, yes, I looked at homes for two years.

I've been looking since, too, for a possible next home. A little improvement in this one, if it pays at all, would make that doable. And homes are quite cheap anymore. I saw some excellent homes, I mean just plain nice, with 10 acres, in the $250K range. Why so low? They are out in the middle of where I would sort of like to be, nowhere. Well, there is no such thing, quite, as nowhere here in Utah (save wilderness, to a degree), just like Iowa. Small town dot the land, as farming states often have it. If I could build this house up $50k over purchase, pay down a bit more (push), and in five or ten years I could probably upgrade. The prices of houses here, below $250k and above a million are rock stable. It's that middling market that has seen the hit, and that only somewhat mildly. Rather than prices being hit more than a bit (from what I have been seeing and hearing), it's the length of time to sell for the middling range homes that has been hit.

Dishes, too, are soaking. I should have a load or three, maybe even double loads, done by the time I sleep. Sleeping late, I just can't help it. I have noticed something though. When I got back on the reservation (medicine) my tolerance for heat has increased... greatly. I am, however, still sore. That is just odd to me. It might be explained by a lack of oxygen in non-vital areas when my heart isn't being helped by the medicine to pump out enough. At an refraction ejection of 15%, what that boils down to is a heart functioning at 20% to 30%, perhaps worse when I sleep. That means some areas will be oxygen deprived. The medicines, even on the lightest doses, seem to do the trick, though, because the pain does go away and definitely. With sleep apnea the pain won't go until the machine is in use, though that may only be for more sever cases? Another plug for the probability I no more have sleep apnea than I have cancer of the petunia. Still, I will play that game for just a bit. Who knows? They don't and I obviously can't be sure. Mostly.

Oh, right. I forgot my darned cookies! Oreos. I'm a pig for them. I try to limit myself, and actually do. No more than 9 at a time, sometimes only 6 if I just ate, and a 16 ounce glass of cold whole milk. Drink the milk, leave the 'stach. Has anyone ever really gotten a milk mustache? If so, I... I am almost certain you are drinking the milk wrong. Hey, there are a lot of groups of 6 to 9 in a bag. So hush it, Mom. Hmm, since I have the basic schematics done, and the soak water is still too hot, I think I'll walk to the post office and pick up my mail. No, too late to walk. While I hate the notion, I think I will drive. My medicine might have arrived and I have other business that might be showing up so that I may do even more business. Isn't that always the way? I just hate walking close to homes this late at night. I don't like people coming that close this late myself. Yeah, that will do.

Good night. Or later.

Something to tinker with.

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Yeah, I know, I am not even doing what I want to be doing, so why go messing with other projects. Why indeed. Because I need to get doing something and maybe finding the right project, one I think won't break my bank or back, one that might be fun and immediately useful, something to give me hope for more success. I may have found it. I keep looking at solar ovens. And while bought pre-built solar ovens are fine, and I have seen one used and to good use (baked a dozen potatoes over the course of the afternoon), I do note that they are small, very expensive, and rather delicate.

So, while I was sitting here today, I started to think. I have quite a bit of wood around. Between what I have brought in and what the previous owner left, odd sizing and all, there is some decent wood stock around to at least begin such a product. I have saws, a hammer or three, nails, screws, and even a sander along with sand paper. But finding a good larger, sturdier, truly functional design... that is another story. Don't make a solar oven out of cardboard and expect to use it much or for long. Don't use newspaper as your insulation. Many do not even know, or at least use, the formula for optimal reflector angle, based on reflector and glass size. *sigh* But, after a bit of looking, I may have found... if not a legitimate design at least the outline for one. Enough of the specs are there, a picture of the final product, and the thing will heat to around 400, in December (if, I do believe, they live in southern Texas which may or may not have an affect).

Oh, right, here is a link to the device. Further, here is a link to their homepage, if you don't see it at the bottom of that page, as I didn't. Don't feel stupid, either. My job. Urhm, you can take that either way! There is some hinky stuff there, for preppers, homesteaders, and those thinking of going off-the-grid. For me, one project at a time.

I am going to look for engineering paper, go over what information they offer, fill in the blanks with common thicknesses, and try to develop a plan. It'll be hockey until I learn through experience. Perhaps I will keep a running update on the plans, and when I complete it, and test it, if it is indeed successful, I will offer the plans to the originators and, if they allow, publish them. How about them apples? Well, I'm off. Hmm, might even soak dishes and wash some later. Dishes are worse than having to wash behind my ears and stuff! *stomps off sobbing* Can I have a cookie? Actually, yes! Hahahaha It's good to be king.

Later.

Redirect.

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The bike guy wasn't in today. I still have to go to town but I wanted to pick up some topo maps, if possible, today. A little time looking over hiking trails online and taking some notes. As well, I found one of the hiking books. The other hiking book is the one I really want. After searching for it numerous times though, it just isn't to be found. Ah well, I have a couple of ideas for the maps I want. After doing my business, I may see if those maps are available. The 'store' may be closed already though. I have to be in town again tomorrow in any case, for Sam and for the bike. Nothing ever quite happens as it should. So many things end up in some kind of redirect.

I did find some books to read, however, in the interim of making a list then making purchases for my economic bibliotheca. I never did finish the Chesterton pr Lewis books. I did read some of them. That should get me in better shape for more reading in any case. And they are still on my list. I have been contemplating reading out loud, if not all my reading. Oh, I have my reasons. Nothing nefarious mind you, I have heard there are reasons to do so and would like to test the theory.

Oh, but I should get going. I do have things to do and only just so much time to do them. Plus, a meal I don't have to prepare would be good for a change. Later.

Oh, right...

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Something, as I am improving, I would like to begin digging into is economics. And politics a bit. No, not really the political doings of the day, I already have my eyes on that. If I think it is more for entertainment purposes. So, I have been looking for a beginners list of solid economic chewies. For example, I am most certain "The Road to Serfdom" will be on the list. What I want to do is put a list of, say, twenty books (give or take) on a queue, and begin buying them one way or another and consuming what they offer. Even if my body isn't perfectly stable yet, my mind remains rather licit and cogent. And, I don't mind reading one, two, and three off books. Reading just the so-called good ones isn't my deal. I would like to start with a few 'right' ones, then go off center and beginning looking at the options. No, I don't plan on becoming an economist. This is purely hobby, though there may be real life implications, personal implications.

At some point, after getting my head wrapped around some things, whether twenty books into it or more or less, I will go completely off the reservation. I will begin researching my own questions and doubts and problems. I probably have the math background to at least start a serious undertaking. And, if my mind remains good, I have some serious capacity to dig through skin, meat, organs, gristle, and right into the bones of the matters. I have wanted to do this for a long time I simply did not have enough on the ball to begin... just begin. Now I do, perhaps, but I am not sure where to start. Looked at Vox's place, Mises Institute, found a few lists (which I am not sure about), looked on line... I just want to start it on the right foot.

Off. I need to get going. Really this time. Good day.

Okay, keep pushing.

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I didn't get up as early as hoped but earlier than usual, again. I think I can keep doing better. I am fighting for it. If I can use both directions of the clock to affect my sleep cycle, I have more of a chance at becoming more 'normal'. I didn't expect this to be easy. It has been decades since I could pull this little trick off. Oh, don't look cross-eyed at me, it gives me a perfect target to through something wet, stinky, and squishy. I might be in a cage, but there is no shield up. *splat* Talking monkey indeed.

My body is hurting. It has for the last few days, all day. My guess is stopping medicine for two days has... had some kind of effect. I realize more and more than my health issues were directly linked to my heart condition. For twenty years they treated what should easily have been seen as a real medical problem as a psychiatric problem. What idiots. They really don't know or don't care what they are doing, do they? They had to know. The pains are decreasing but slowly.

I am hoping to get out and get that bike set up today. I need to call to make sure the guy is in today. I hear he gets one weekday off. I still have to go to town for other reasons, but there is no need to haul the bike around if I can't get it fixed. I could take it to a shop, but they will charge an arm and a leg, might not be able to see me right away, and might not show me how to do a few things. Money, money, money, that is the way it goes. Sue me if I am dubious.

Tylenol... I had forgotten about that stuff. I might have to take a small handful of the junk again. I have just been suffering through this, but... why? Why? Because I simply didn't think about it. I best get going. Have a good one.

I have to push a bit.

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Several days in the hole, with nothing going forward. A missed appointment, not getting to town today to deal with the bike, not much of anything. The days have been in the 90's, but with humidity in the 17 to 37 percentiles, and it stays warm until late. But that isn't it, not all of it. Whatever, I have to figure things out and get back on some kind of track. I have things to do!

I really want to push those pedals and see the world a bit. And I want to put on the gear I bought for it. Yeah, small but fun. Front and rear lights that are actually seemingly functional for more than just being seen, an additional flashing front light (which works well for a flasher but not for a headlamp (glad I ordered both, at this point)), an expanding clip-on container and the tools I might need which fit in there (along with a little food), either a mud-flap or a rear facing platform to haul things, and a u-lock with a cord for the other tire and a bracket to keep it on the bike when not in use. Perhaps I will buy a new seat and seat shaft, one with a shock absorber, as the bike is a hardtail. Depending on how she rides. Though any additions will have to wait until next month. Which is fine, that gives me time to know if I really need those thing. I will buy a water bottle holder for it, though, when I go in to have it looked at. I decided against fancy... anything, actually. I tried to just buy what would be reasonable as I saw things. My goal is to bike up to five, even ten miles, a few times a week. And perhaps to begin checking my mail more regularly to boot.

It is wonderful to look out my front window and see the clouds just barely making it over the mountains. Oh, sure, they had low clouds in Iowa from time to time, they just didn't have a measuring stick to give you an idea of how low or high the clouds were. And the measuring stick is free of charge. Sometimes, when the clouds are just right, and an opening appears just so, the setting sun reflects off the clouds and spotlights the peaks in the fading gloom. I keep expecting to see a symbol for the Holy Grail up in there or something. Ah, Monty Pythonitis aside, it is a beautiful thing to behold.

Have a great day. Go look at something that gives you reason to marvel. A kid, a mountain, the sky, or even a busy city if that's your thing. Then... marvel.

Oh, I hinted...

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In a comment, I indicated that I have... a little problem. I take a molehill and turn it into the Rockies and the Andes, combined. Oh, I don't know what causes it. As I suggested, it might be a genetic thing. One of my most famous ancestors had a similar problem. Here, take a look through the way-back tele machine...



If I do so, and make a mistake. I am awfully sorry. Then again, when I don't do that, I might just underestimate and ignore warnings and portents. As shown by my ancestor's boss, here.



Sometimes I can't win for losing in this game called life. But if you bear with me, I would appreciate it greatly. I'll afford you the same courtesy, as I am able, in any event.

Yeah, it's the heat.

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It does keep me up later and later. Until I do something about it, life will be a bit of a struggle. And, this coming winter, I will probably be keeping the house warming during the day. While I can manage extremes, I don't function as well. Duh. But what also happened is, with the medicines being possibly short, I had meant to ration them. I had a mental block on taking them until I did, but doing so was delayed by a lack of focus, so I missed a few days of medicine. It seems stupid, and is, but in the situation it sort of makes sense... with the givens. Hmm, wasn't as bad as that first time I dropped the meds a day though, thankfully. Well, I did proportion those so I can get 16 days out of them, if needed. More should be on the way and I have an appointment early next week.

The heat does more than mess up my sleep, it also puts me into a more active state, just as the cool and cold of winter can retard activity. I know, it all makes sense, but putting everything that makes sense together coherently takes a basic level of function, a thing that has only come to me recently after a 20 year hiatus. I am figuring everything out that you had probably not only figured out but now have somewhat automated and do without thinking, for the most part. I honestly am amazed I didn't just freeze to death in there somewhere. Seriously.

By the way, did you know if you behead a cockroach that it will not die for days? It only dies from a lack of water. The more I read about them, the more I think they have to be Democrats. And, the bugs that came in have gone. I don't know what they were or where they went, but they have completely deserted my home. They took their many dead with them. I have stuff I put around the house, inside and out, that keeps most bugs out. But these flew in, while I was doing things outside. Whatever. I still haven't figured out what they are. Cockroaches (mostly) don't fly and certainly not in swarms. Some weird kind of beetle? Bah!