.
.
Since I am having to relax a bit, my mind wandered back to wood fired ovens. Well, and the kitchen in general. One thing I realized today was that the flooring should be reconsidered. Some of it will be eliminated merely by being less than satisfactory when it comes to being able to handle heat. Stone and ceramic tiles, I would suspect, would do quite well. Wood, perhaps, would be okay if not as good as stone or ceramic tiles. But almost anything else seems a bit risky. Bamboo, perhaps, cork I am not sure. Neither of which, I think, will hold up in the long run. I think I lot of people who have built or bought "sustainable" houses are going to be really unhappy in about five years when they understand that sustainable has nothing to do with longevity of product. I wonder how many of those homes will end up gutted and rebuilt or simply abandoned and torn down because fixing will be too expensive for real market worth? If you want to learn how to reasonably live off the grid, study the Amish. Don't just try and do it yourself or follow industry (who will sell you whatever you want).
But looking at the kitchen, thinking of new flooring and a wood burning stove, I realize that the only way to properly do the kitchen is to start with a crowbar, remove everything I can. Then have a gas technician come in and remove the gas line, do what I can regarding putting waterlines where I will need them, level and do the floor but only after I figure out what I will be doing with cabinets and such. While I won't be putting flooring under the shelves and cupboards, I will need to know where the flooring and kick-plates will intersect. I probably wouldn't put flooring under the island either. There are so many things going on in the kitchen that an open room is probably the best way to start things off.
Removing the current flooring probably won't be an issue. It might have fiberglass tiles, but I doubt it. Even so, I would probably remove those on my own. Professional removal takes about two to four days and might cost as much as $4k or $5K, while doing it myself would take the same amount of time and cost only what disposal fees might be. Hmm, I might actually have to pay for disposal fees if I have it done, too.
While not a plumber, my guess is running water lines is not rocket science. I have installed plumbing for a shower. The drain was already in place, I only had to run hot and cold water lines and connect them to the appropriate parts at the proper level of those parts. It wasn't fancy but it worked. That was pvc though, too. I think I would go with copper. How difficult could soldering be? I have seen it done. I could practice with a few pieces just to get the notion down, then get to it.
Yeah, a kitchen renovation is a huge project. It is, relative to the house, a very small space. And yet it is one of the most technical areas in the house. Unless you are putting in a bathroom in a brand new, unplumbed space, bathrooms are simple in comparison, if also the second most complicated room. It is all expensive and labor intensive, even if you could do all but the required work yourself. I really thought I would be working on my kitchen this summer. There is no way that will happen. As complicated and expensive as it is, I doubt if I will be getting to it by next year. Perhaps I will have the project arranged, though. Perhaps I will know what type of flooring, what I will be doing regarding cabinetry, and perhaps a few other things. But it is a task that has to be done all at once.
What I might be able to do is choose then purchase tiles. Perhaps even buy grout and sub-flooring panels if needed, and floor leveling compounds (depending on how shelf stable some of those things are). Having the components ready and bought makes the expense a lot more tolerable, more so if I find a problem that has to be tended, like floor joists that are problematic. You never know when opening something up what might be a problem.
I would like the kitchen done for a long enough time to enjoy it should I consider moving up in five or ten years. Hmm, one other thing to consider... If I do decide to go with a wood cook stove that will leave an odd space when I move it out. Plus there wouldn't be a gas or electric hook-up for a range in that space. Something to think about, something more. Bah, some things about home ownership stink. The 'what ifs' become huge.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Crazy.
.
.
I tried to do that little task from the phone calls. It required access to my bank account online. That access doesn't work. They upgraded their online banking system and now I can't get in. So, I called the bank. They offered some ideas, nope. Then they tried to access my machine, with my allowance. Nope. So, that little task is turning into a monster task. Until I get my machine back, assuming it works at all, I may have to just go in and access my account from one of the machines at the bank. I need to change something or my home payment will not get through.
I was thinking, because of a blog, about my first computer. It was an XT clone. It had a 10 Mb hard drive and a 2.4 Mb/s modem. With it, while looking around, I stumbled into a bank. There was no security. Accounts, data, all of it was quite open. I just... disconnected and never went back there. I just think it is funny that now there is so much security that even when my bank allows me access and I try to gain it, I can't. Progress? Oh well. I'll... get to it.
I took some pictures of my bike. But while removing it from the garage, the kickstand broke off. *shrug* I will see if one of the bike shops has an inexpensive replacement. Yeah, I could take it back to Walmart. But, at best, I would get an exact replacement part. From looking at it, that is not what I want. I wonder how many other parts will end up failing and needing to be replaced. The frame is actually pretty good. I don't know about the tires, but they are straight. I suppose it also depends on how much of the bike is one-off in design and construction (or more-off). Oh well. But I do have some pictures, in case I get it crunched while eventually riding it.
No riding today. I am still a bit under the weather. A week of daily grind after three weeks, give or take, downtime and I am done for a while. Frustrating, to be sure. Still, my feet have been tended so walking is pleasant and pedaling should be a breeze. I am back on my medicines and keeping up on things. I am taking care of this and that along the way again now. I just have to take it easy for a few days. Such a delicate creature for being such a brute. Odd. But if I kept pushing something would have broken, this I know.
Hmm, more wine? *chuckles* Bleh, not quite ready for that, either.
.
I tried to do that little task from the phone calls. It required access to my bank account online. That access doesn't work. They upgraded their online banking system and now I can't get in. So, I called the bank. They offered some ideas, nope. Then they tried to access my machine, with my allowance. Nope. So, that little task is turning into a monster task. Until I get my machine back, assuming it works at all, I may have to just go in and access my account from one of the machines at the bank. I need to change something or my home payment will not get through.
I was thinking, because of a blog, about my first computer. It was an XT clone. It had a 10 Mb hard drive and a 2.4 Mb/s modem. With it, while looking around, I stumbled into a bank. There was no security. Accounts, data, all of it was quite open. I just... disconnected and never went back there. I just think it is funny that now there is so much security that even when my bank allows me access and I try to gain it, I can't. Progress? Oh well. I'll... get to it.
I took some pictures of my bike. But while removing it from the garage, the kickstand broke off. *shrug* I will see if one of the bike shops has an inexpensive replacement. Yeah, I could take it back to Walmart. But, at best, I would get an exact replacement part. From looking at it, that is not what I want. I wonder how many other parts will end up failing and needing to be replaced. The frame is actually pretty good. I don't know about the tires, but they are straight. I suppose it also depends on how much of the bike is one-off in design and construction (or more-off). Oh well. But I do have some pictures, in case I get it crunched while eventually riding it.
No riding today. I am still a bit under the weather. A week of daily grind after three weeks, give or take, downtime and I am done for a while. Frustrating, to be sure. Still, my feet have been tended so walking is pleasant and pedaling should be a breeze. I am back on my medicines and keeping up on things. I am taking care of this and that along the way again now. I just have to take it easy for a few days. Such a delicate creature for being such a brute. Odd. But if I kept pushing something would have broken, this I know.
Hmm, more wine? *chuckles* Bleh, not quite ready for that, either.
Three calls.
.
.
While I was placing calls, other people or businesses to call came to mind. So far I am three for three with one more call to make. I love it when it just works. Later.
Make that four. It seems the V.A. had already figured out to pay that one bill. And I do need to change the payment recipient for my home loan which I will do, medicines are on their way, and I have the new recipient name to put into my automated billing for my home loan. Little things that have been problems for some time, things I just couldn't figure out how to get done. I love it when I get these little sleep stoppers handled. I have another call to make but it is too late in the day, I think. Hmm, maybe not. I'm going to try.
Not too late but she is out until Monday. I did leave a message. Man, I don't know how people keep up on business. All those niggling little things that eat into the day, or mind. Back and forth and back and forth, with no resolution seemingly ever arriving and more calls to make and people to see constantly being added to the plate. Still, three of those four ended in resolution, leaving only one quick easy task to make three of the calls finished business. It is more like I just luck out than that I am good at handling things. Bah!
.
While I was placing calls, other people or businesses to call came to mind. So far I am three for three with one more call to make. I love it when it just works. Later.
Make that four. It seems the V.A. had already figured out to pay that one bill. And I do need to change the payment recipient for my home loan which I will do, medicines are on their way, and I have the new recipient name to put into my automated billing for my home loan. Little things that have been problems for some time, things I just couldn't figure out how to get done. I love it when I get these little sleep stoppers handled. I have another call to make but it is too late in the day, I think. Hmm, maybe not. I'm going to try.
Not too late but she is out until Monday. I did leave a message. Man, I don't know how people keep up on business. All those niggling little things that eat into the day, or mind. Back and forth and back and forth, with no resolution seemingly ever arriving and more calls to make and people to see constantly being added to the plate. Still, three of those four ended in resolution, leaving only one quick easy task to make three of the calls finished business. It is more like I just luck out than that I am good at handling things. Bah!
I guess I never paid attention.
.
.
At a few minutes to 13:00, the temperature is just at 74 F. It is supposed to get to 88 F with a low of 48 F. I thought it odd that my house had not warmed more than 70. Then again, it is rather well insulated it seems. Perhaps today is just an oddball though. I think, if I remember right when living in Logan, that the high wasn't reached until about 16:00, but they are right up against a mountain to their east. I am in the middle of the valley and I don't have trees on that side of the house. In time I'll figure some of this out.
Just a restful day. I have just been tinkering, relaxing, and trying to stay out of trouble. I worked hard, mostly by walking a bunch, this last week. I always walk quickly. I like to get there, get it done, and get back. I am wearing my hiking boots too and those are twice the weight of even my usual heavier foot gear, or more. They are probably in condition for hiking.
I would like to do dishes, but honestly, just the standing might be pushing things. I am still a bit unsettled. I am not sure how I am going to get to some of the heartier work projects I have lined up, not without expanding my capacity a great deal. Then again, I have found I can do very heavy work if I do it for a relative short period of time. That type of work, like this kind of running around, will then force me to retreat to periods of inactivity. Which, I suppose, would be fine. So long as my schedule allows for it.
Oh, I was running low on a medicine. Losartan. I had initially been scheduled to only take half a pill. Somehow I got confused, or thought we had increased that. In any case, it turns out that a higher dose was just fine, and I think appreciated, by the doctors. So we kept it there. However, the script was never changed and new medicine was not sent out. A call to the heart transplant specialists and the pharmacy have it being tended right now. I am told that it will be sent out right today. If I don't get it in time I will drive in this time. I can't handle the down-time of going off scripts. Of course, this does bring back my fears of being on medicine. If there is an interruption in access, I will be dragging bottom and quickly. I suppose that is part of the reason I will only give this medicine three years or so. If it doesn't work I guess I will just have to live as long as I can, as is.
I don't think I am yet up to maximum levels. And, after that, I need to wait three months, at those levels, to test and see if my heart has improved. If it hasn't, actually, the medicines probably won't work. At that point, all they can offer is various surgeries, none of which I will probably allow. All of them seem to involve open heart type surgery. I heal, and extremely well usually, but you can never heal from that, not fully.
One more call. I am trying to get in touch with the people at the V.A. who are denying my last emergency room visit payment. I had a nurse, from the V.A., not just tell me to go but tell me to call 911. They keep records, so I am not sure why they are fussing. I suppose they didn't check. The hospital has not sent me a bill, or not to this address. In any case, I want this settled. I have no idea how much it was, but I am sure it was a pretty penny.
Hmm, maybe after I try them (they have been impossible to contact for over a week of tyring), I might go for a bike ride, check my mail, and see how the world looks from the back of a bike. Maybe. Riding a bike actually doesn't seem as bad as just standing, not to me. Good day.
.
At a few minutes to 13:00, the temperature is just at 74 F. It is supposed to get to 88 F with a low of 48 F. I thought it odd that my house had not warmed more than 70. Then again, it is rather well insulated it seems. Perhaps today is just an oddball though. I think, if I remember right when living in Logan, that the high wasn't reached until about 16:00, but they are right up against a mountain to their east. I am in the middle of the valley and I don't have trees on that side of the house. In time I'll figure some of this out.
Just a restful day. I have just been tinkering, relaxing, and trying to stay out of trouble. I worked hard, mostly by walking a bunch, this last week. I always walk quickly. I like to get there, get it done, and get back. I am wearing my hiking boots too and those are twice the weight of even my usual heavier foot gear, or more. They are probably in condition for hiking.
I would like to do dishes, but honestly, just the standing might be pushing things. I am still a bit unsettled. I am not sure how I am going to get to some of the heartier work projects I have lined up, not without expanding my capacity a great deal. Then again, I have found I can do very heavy work if I do it for a relative short period of time. That type of work, like this kind of running around, will then force me to retreat to periods of inactivity. Which, I suppose, would be fine. So long as my schedule allows for it.
Oh, I was running low on a medicine. Losartan. I had initially been scheduled to only take half a pill. Somehow I got confused, or thought we had increased that. In any case, it turns out that a higher dose was just fine, and I think appreciated, by the doctors. So we kept it there. However, the script was never changed and new medicine was not sent out. A call to the heart transplant specialists and the pharmacy have it being tended right now. I am told that it will be sent out right today. If I don't get it in time I will drive in this time. I can't handle the down-time of going off scripts. Of course, this does bring back my fears of being on medicine. If there is an interruption in access, I will be dragging bottom and quickly. I suppose that is part of the reason I will only give this medicine three years or so. If it doesn't work I guess I will just have to live as long as I can, as is.
I don't think I am yet up to maximum levels. And, after that, I need to wait three months, at those levels, to test and see if my heart has improved. If it hasn't, actually, the medicines probably won't work. At that point, all they can offer is various surgeries, none of which I will probably allow. All of them seem to involve open heart type surgery. I heal, and extremely well usually, but you can never heal from that, not fully.
One more call. I am trying to get in touch with the people at the V.A. who are denying my last emergency room visit payment. I had a nurse, from the V.A., not just tell me to go but tell me to call 911. They keep records, so I am not sure why they are fussing. I suppose they didn't check. The hospital has not sent me a bill, or not to this address. In any case, I want this settled. I have no idea how much it was, but I am sure it was a pretty penny.
Hmm, maybe after I try them (they have been impossible to contact for over a week of tyring), I might go for a bike ride, check my mail, and see how the world looks from the back of a bike. Maybe. Riding a bike actually doesn't seem as bad as just standing, not to me. Good day.
I kept waking.
.
.
But I didn't want to get up. Sleep! My body said. I had no idea what time it was but it must be late, right? I could see the sun was up, but couldn't wrap my mind around what time it really was and didn't want to look or couldn't really quite wake enough to look... or something. After I got my fill of sleep, figuring it was probably afternoon, I got out of bed. I didn't look at the time right away because I hate waking late and would figure it out soon enough. When I finally looked I had to laugh. At just past 8:00 it was still very much morning, and for me early morning. What a weird morning already. I did get to bed rather earlier last night, though I am not sure I had a lot of choice there. I was well and truly worn down.
I am still having a sense that I pushed things lately, so today is going to be a mild housebound day. Perhaps some dishes. Perhaps some laundry. No full court presses though. No heavy work. Not much but relaxing and a few tasks. I went beyond some limits without realizing it, well beyond them I think. Oh, I might even get on my bike later today and go for a short spin. Actually this morning would be better. I will think about it.
A bit of reading, a few home tasks, a quiet day. Perhaps the same tomorrow. I might try and organize my thoughts on what I am going to try and get done in the near future. I really enjoy what I call skivvy days, days where high fashion comes in the form of skivvies and a smile. My home is 70 F, and with everything closed up it will only warm a bit more. Actually, 70 F feels almost chilly. Should be a good day, barring disaster from an external source.
Ah, I do remember what the other thing that hit me, while listening to Catholic radio the other day, was. It had to do with item collecting. Something about you can't take it with you. Now, tools and food storage items? I don't mind these at all, if well considered. While I can't take them with me, others can use them. What I need to do is ensure what I buy can be used and have a good long life. I also need to consider things I buy very closely. I think I do, but... Do I? I don't know, that particular program hit me hard. I even think about my vehicle. I could have gone much more inexpensively and bought used. There are problems with used, too, of course. Problems I can't necessarily afford or figure out and repair on my own, problems which are taken care of when buying new. I don't know, I can only say that the notion stuck in my pipe and I am smoking on it.
Have a great day.
.
But I didn't want to get up. Sleep! My body said. I had no idea what time it was but it must be late, right? I could see the sun was up, but couldn't wrap my mind around what time it really was and didn't want to look or couldn't really quite wake enough to look... or something. After I got my fill of sleep, figuring it was probably afternoon, I got out of bed. I didn't look at the time right away because I hate waking late and would figure it out soon enough. When I finally looked I had to laugh. At just past 8:00 it was still very much morning, and for me early morning. What a weird morning already. I did get to bed rather earlier last night, though I am not sure I had a lot of choice there. I was well and truly worn down.
I am still having a sense that I pushed things lately, so today is going to be a mild housebound day. Perhaps some dishes. Perhaps some laundry. No full court presses though. No heavy work. Not much but relaxing and a few tasks. I went beyond some limits without realizing it, well beyond them I think. Oh, I might even get on my bike later today and go for a short spin. Actually this morning would be better. I will think about it.
A bit of reading, a few home tasks, a quiet day. Perhaps the same tomorrow. I might try and organize my thoughts on what I am going to try and get done in the near future. I really enjoy what I call skivvy days, days where high fashion comes in the form of skivvies and a smile. My home is 70 F, and with everything closed up it will only warm a bit more. Actually, 70 F feels almost chilly. Should be a good day, barring disaster from an external source.
Ah, I do remember what the other thing that hit me, while listening to Catholic radio the other day, was. It had to do with item collecting. Something about you can't take it with you. Now, tools and food storage items? I don't mind these at all, if well considered. While I can't take them with me, others can use them. What I need to do is ensure what I buy can be used and have a good long life. I also need to consider things I buy very closely. I think I do, but... Do I? I don't know, that particular program hit me hard. I even think about my vehicle. I could have gone much more inexpensively and bought used. There are problems with used, too, of course. Problems I can't necessarily afford or figure out and repair on my own, problems which are taken care of when buying new. I don't know, I can only say that the notion stuck in my pipe and I am smoking on it.
Have a great day.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Tomorrow may be off.
.
.
I have pushed things too far I think. My body is letting me know I need to back off. It may just be something else, but it might be the first signs of trouble too. If I wake and am feeling better, I might still go, but I will certainly go slower, park closer if I can, and get something to drink more than water. I suppose there are real defined set limits to what I can do. I suppose I should be grateful that my limits are much higher than most heart patients in my condition. I may have pushed even the extended ability. I will know tomorrow.
My friend has decided that Sunday would be a better afternoon to go shooting. That gives me two days to lay low and relax if I can. Still, I am going to try and take four hours for non-electronics. Reading, perhaps finally getting to the rosary (technically that is electronic, initially, because I will be using a cd player to listen and learn, but... it's not entertainment), dishes and laundry need hit bad, and straightening is in dire demand.
Of course I don't know about the date. I suspect I could do that well enough. Still, I best hold off on heavy exertion for four or five days, do easy little things, and then pick things back up next Tuesday or Wednesday. I think I will be able to expand my capacity. I just can't just do it. Ah, but such a fine week in any case. Has there been a day I haven't been to town or done some decent group of things? Maybe Monday? Whatever. I have been doing quite well, taken care of many little and big things, scratched some long term irritating itches, and even asked a woman out. No, nothing to complain about. More to come. I just have to make sure I don't fall into a slump while I back it off for a bit.
I am still going to try and get to sleep early. A bit of television news, something to eat, late medicines, Gatorade, and then down for the count. Good night.
.
I have pushed things too far I think. My body is letting me know I need to back off. It may just be something else, but it might be the first signs of trouble too. If I wake and am feeling better, I might still go, but I will certainly go slower, park closer if I can, and get something to drink more than water. I suppose there are real defined set limits to what I can do. I suppose I should be grateful that my limits are much higher than most heart patients in my condition. I may have pushed even the extended ability. I will know tomorrow.
My friend has decided that Sunday would be a better afternoon to go shooting. That gives me two days to lay low and relax if I can. Still, I am going to try and take four hours for non-electronics. Reading, perhaps finally getting to the rosary (technically that is electronic, initially, because I will be using a cd player to listen and learn, but... it's not entertainment), dishes and laundry need hit bad, and straightening is in dire demand.
Of course I don't know about the date. I suspect I could do that well enough. Still, I best hold off on heavy exertion for four or five days, do easy little things, and then pick things back up next Tuesday or Wednesday. I think I will be able to expand my capacity. I just can't just do it. Ah, but such a fine week in any case. Has there been a day I haven't been to town or done some decent group of things? Maybe Monday? Whatever. I have been doing quite well, taken care of many little and big things, scratched some long term irritating itches, and even asked a woman out. No, nothing to complain about. More to come. I just have to make sure I don't fall into a slump while I back it off for a bit.
I am still going to try and get to sleep early. A bit of television news, something to eat, late medicines, Gatorade, and then down for the count. Good night.
Sometimes...
.
.
Sometimes, often?, when I say I am going to do something, something doesn't get done, or quickly. Oh, I know. I either fear or don't want to do the work or can't face failure (or even sometimes success). When I am doing better, however, I seem to be able to just move on in and do whatever I had proposed, regardless. But even when I am doing better, sometimes I avoid the prospects even so. Not this time. I have sent a rather innocuous email asking the map lady to meet with me. Something about being curious to hear more of her story (which isn't a lie). I offered several considerations, coffee or other refreshments at some establishment, the fair, or something else she likes to do. I am guessing she will not receive the email until tomorrow. And she may take her time answering. Men seem to have to screw up our courage to spit it out, women have to screw around their "No!"-machine to try and get it to say "Yes.", if they actually are interested.
Hmm, yeah, it is nice to be doing better. It is great to be moving forward. Even a "No." is fine, as that is a part of life too. All in all, we usually would prefer acceptance. I have been being treated quite well, for some odd reason. Women have seemed interested, I seem to cause blushing, I just receive a reception, often, that any man would like. I don't understand it but I have been in a little slice of heaven here in Utah. Anyway, I am asking one of them out. She may be dating or otherwise indisposed, too. While I do believe she is not married, I don't know more. And, no, she probably won't be the last I ask. It is time to begin meeting and greeting as the opportunities present themselves. Like the wine though, I need to be a little careful with something I haven't done in a while. That's... all I'm saying... right there. *grins*
Hmm, time to chill and try to get to bed a bit earlier. I'll need to be up by 7:00 to efficiently make it to the fairgrounds by 9:00, for the dairy goat competition. I have no eye for it, and show animals wouldn't be my focus, but beginning to learn to see what sets breeds apart, what they are looking for as signs of breeds, and such... not a bad thing. Plus, it gets me away from the computer and television. All it costs is gas. And I might very well see my neighbors there again. Their oldest daughter is a beautiful young woman. If I was even ten years younger I would be... wooing. As is I merely look and am delighted, in the good way.
Well, on to goofing or something. I am earning my downtimes, a bit, now. And, with health as it still really is, I probably need them after earning them.
.
Sometimes, often?, when I say I am going to do something, something doesn't get done, or quickly. Oh, I know. I either fear or don't want to do the work or can't face failure (or even sometimes success). When I am doing better, however, I seem to be able to just move on in and do whatever I had proposed, regardless. But even when I am doing better, sometimes I avoid the prospects even so. Not this time. I have sent a rather innocuous email asking the map lady to meet with me. Something about being curious to hear more of her story (which isn't a lie). I offered several considerations, coffee or other refreshments at some establishment, the fair, or something else she likes to do. I am guessing she will not receive the email until tomorrow. And she may take her time answering. Men seem to have to screw up our courage to spit it out, women have to screw around their "No!"-machine to try and get it to say "Yes.", if they actually are interested.
Hmm, yeah, it is nice to be doing better. It is great to be moving forward. Even a "No." is fine, as that is a part of life too. All in all, we usually would prefer acceptance. I have been being treated quite well, for some odd reason. Women have seemed interested, I seem to cause blushing, I just receive a reception, often, that any man would like. I don't understand it but I have been in a little slice of heaven here in Utah. Anyway, I am asking one of them out. She may be dating or otherwise indisposed, too. While I do believe she is not married, I don't know more. And, no, she probably won't be the last I ask. It is time to begin meeting and greeting as the opportunities present themselves. Like the wine though, I need to be a little careful with something I haven't done in a while. That's... all I'm saying... right there. *grins*
Hmm, time to chill and try to get to bed a bit earlier. I'll need to be up by 7:00 to efficiently make it to the fairgrounds by 9:00, for the dairy goat competition. I have no eye for it, and show animals wouldn't be my focus, but beginning to learn to see what sets breeds apart, what they are looking for as signs of breeds, and such... not a bad thing. Plus, it gets me away from the computer and television. All it costs is gas. And I might very well see my neighbors there again. Their oldest daughter is a beautiful young woman. If I was even ten years younger I would be... wooing. As is I merely look and am delighted, in the good way.
Well, on to goofing or something. I am earning my downtimes, a bit, now. And, with health as it still really is, I probably need them after earning them.
What a day.
.
.
Lots of little things, things I have been meaning to do, a few extras, and a busy day indeed. I finally called my insurer, about the chip in the windshield. While my insurance would have covered it, the incident was from before I was covered by this new company. Still it was only $20. I did get to the fair. While I was looking over the goats I met my neighbors, they were showing. I had a really good talk with the Mr., the Mrs. and some of the kids showed up and mostly said hello. He pointed out the various breeds and the better milk and meat goats and we discussed some of the details. Then I headed off to pick up the map. Now the map lady was with another client so the opportunity was not correct to speak with her. After I finish this post, however, I will be sending her an email. Oh, it isn't as fun as asking a woman out in person but it will do just the same. I also checked the mail on my way home. I love how it has been going this week.
I am a little tired. I did a lot of walking and it is rather warm out there. But worse, I didn't take water with me and I didn't have cash on me to buy water. Yeah, yeah, seriously. I think many people just go and don't think, just like me. I need to figure something out so that I can always take one of my water cylinders with me. I keep two, usually freshly loaded with water, in the vehicle but I don't have a good way to attach them to my belt or something. Hmm, and maybe keep packets of Gatorade for when water just isn't doing it. I probably won't be biking today but I did get some serious walking in (well, compared to my usual).
I am hoping to be up tomorrow, to go to a judging. That is early, at 9:00 I think. After that I am hoping to finally make it to the Church office and arrange an appointment with my priest, or perhaps get a walk in. As well, I need to check on auto and home taxes, get those paid and be done for another year. Hmm, it seems I will be doing something Saturday too. I will have had one heck of a week! A successful week, even with the recent 'warts' event. I can't change that but I can prevent it from becoming the main focus or a stumbling block.
I was trying to figure out what happened, with drinking. Well, being slightly dehydrated from all my doings this week, adding in that wine is much stouter than beer, and that I decided to drink off that first bottle of wine because I didn't like it. But then I wanted to try the other bottle of wine. Somewhere on that second bottle of wine I lost track. I didn't have any scotch, actually, thank God. But I did have three or four beers after the second bottle of wine. Wow, that was a slick deal, didn't see it coming, still not sure what happened. I'm going to have to watch that stuff very carefully until I get my feet under me regarding alcohol. And, yes, I can do it. (Much like if you know how to ride a bike, haven't in a while, and fall down. You don't just quit because you can't or you are afraid. I do believe a glass of wine or bottle of beer a day is more healthy by far than not having it.)
I can't believe how much I have done. I still have a ton more to do but this is a start. There is one more tool I will buy this month, a hatchet. I really want to look around. I don't want to buy a cheapo, but then with a hatchet I am not as worried about a top notch item. I'm just not. It won't be for splitting out wood, just branch mitigation and other small chores. Tooling up, learning, working... I'm really liking life. Of course I am also learning that there are real limits, that work and shopping and everything often takes far more time than expected (how does that happen so often?). Yes, it does mean my planning has to come more in line with reality. I suppose experience and practice will make planning more reality based.
Well, have a good day.
.
Lots of little things, things I have been meaning to do, a few extras, and a busy day indeed. I finally called my insurer, about the chip in the windshield. While my insurance would have covered it, the incident was from before I was covered by this new company. Still it was only $20. I did get to the fair. While I was looking over the goats I met my neighbors, they were showing. I had a really good talk with the Mr., the Mrs. and some of the kids showed up and mostly said hello. He pointed out the various breeds and the better milk and meat goats and we discussed some of the details. Then I headed off to pick up the map. Now the map lady was with another client so the opportunity was not correct to speak with her. After I finish this post, however, I will be sending her an email. Oh, it isn't as fun as asking a woman out in person but it will do just the same. I also checked the mail on my way home. I love how it has been going this week.
I am a little tired. I did a lot of walking and it is rather warm out there. But worse, I didn't take water with me and I didn't have cash on me to buy water. Yeah, yeah, seriously. I think many people just go and don't think, just like me. I need to figure something out so that I can always take one of my water cylinders with me. I keep two, usually freshly loaded with water, in the vehicle but I don't have a good way to attach them to my belt or something. Hmm, and maybe keep packets of Gatorade for when water just isn't doing it. I probably won't be biking today but I did get some serious walking in (well, compared to my usual).
I am hoping to be up tomorrow, to go to a judging. That is early, at 9:00 I think. After that I am hoping to finally make it to the Church office and arrange an appointment with my priest, or perhaps get a walk in. As well, I need to check on auto and home taxes, get those paid and be done for another year. Hmm, it seems I will be doing something Saturday too. I will have had one heck of a week! A successful week, even with the recent 'warts' event. I can't change that but I can prevent it from becoming the main focus or a stumbling block.
I was trying to figure out what happened, with drinking. Well, being slightly dehydrated from all my doings this week, adding in that wine is much stouter than beer, and that I decided to drink off that first bottle of wine because I didn't like it. But then I wanted to try the other bottle of wine. Somewhere on that second bottle of wine I lost track. I didn't have any scotch, actually, thank God. But I did have three or four beers after the second bottle of wine. Wow, that was a slick deal, didn't see it coming, still not sure what happened. I'm going to have to watch that stuff very carefully until I get my feet under me regarding alcohol. And, yes, I can do it. (Much like if you know how to ride a bike, haven't in a while, and fall down. You don't just quit because you can't or you are afraid. I do believe a glass of wine or bottle of beer a day is more healthy by far than not having it.)
I can't believe how much I have done. I still have a ton more to do but this is a start. There is one more tool I will buy this month, a hatchet. I really want to look around. I don't want to buy a cheapo, but then with a hatchet I am not as worried about a top notch item. I'm just not. It won't be for splitting out wood, just branch mitigation and other small chores. Tooling up, learning, working... I'm really liking life. Of course I am also learning that there are real limits, that work and shopping and everything often takes far more time than expected (how does that happen so often?). Yes, it does mean my planning has to come more in line with reality. I suppose experience and practice will make planning more reality based.
Well, have a good day.
Well, no time to sit in the muck.
.
.
I have to continue working on real things today. I don't even understand half of what I wrote last night. Wow, that was a bender. Like I said, I'm not in jail, I didn't burn down the house, if I did say things I can't explain. It wasn't like I said what was really on my mind. I don't believe what I wrote, at all.
Today I am going to get going, go to town and look over the fair, check out some livestock and what is happening at the fair as to whether it would be a good place to invite a woman, and then pick up my map and see if... I think that would be a good time to ask her out. Just being in the company of an attractive woman would be a pleasant thing. While it lets loose one aspect it seems to contain another. Perhaps that possibility is what caused me to slip a cog? Remember, it has been... five years, six? since I last dated or really thought about such.
Anyway, quite a week so far. I don't want to let one stupid thing mess it up. No more than it has, that is. Oh, I did look at tickets last night. I might be able to get my mother a non-stop flight, and for less than one way tickets, but only slightly less. I think I will go with the one-way tickets, even with them having a stop in the flight, as that allows us to arrange her flights and keeps her visit a bit more open ended. My debit card has arrived, but the pin hasn't arrived. Perhaps that will be in today and I can get the card activated and order those tickets.
It does look like I had more financially planned this month than what I can afford. The tickets and auto and home taxes will be about all I cover this month beyond what I have bought or tended so far. Food and fuel will consume the rest of my free monies. Oh, and, maybe a date or two. I'm not broke, exactly, but some of the things I was considering (like extra plywood) are rather more than I want to risk my little growing nest egg and extra spending money upon. While it can be frustrating to not be able to just go, buy, then do, it does make such projects more satisfying when complete.
Yes, I know. I still have the roof to work, I still haven't ridden the bike, I still haven't hiked. But I have the bike functioning and set up, I have hiking boots and wear them often in order to break them in (and they are getting comfortable), I have a list of things that will make doing the roof possible and the materials laid up, I have the plans formulated for the solar oven... While not there, I am getting there. As I can. And I am taking care of most business that needs attention. I even, finally, have a surplus with the city, so I am not in arrears. And I mean to keep it that way. I am simply not good at... paying on time, monthly, and such. Next month they will get another payment that will give me three months to forget about it.
Well, on to my day. Have a good one.
.
I have to continue working on real things today. I don't even understand half of what I wrote last night. Wow, that was a bender. Like I said, I'm not in jail, I didn't burn down the house, if I did say things I can't explain. It wasn't like I said what was really on my mind. I don't believe what I wrote, at all.
Today I am going to get going, go to town and look over the fair, check out some livestock and what is happening at the fair as to whether it would be a good place to invite a woman, and then pick up my map and see if... I think that would be a good time to ask her out. Just being in the company of an attractive woman would be a pleasant thing. While it lets loose one aspect it seems to contain another. Perhaps that possibility is what caused me to slip a cog? Remember, it has been... five years, six? since I last dated or really thought about such.
Anyway, quite a week so far. I don't want to let one stupid thing mess it up. No more than it has, that is. Oh, I did look at tickets last night. I might be able to get my mother a non-stop flight, and for less than one way tickets, but only slightly less. I think I will go with the one-way tickets, even with them having a stop in the flight, as that allows us to arrange her flights and keeps her visit a bit more open ended. My debit card has arrived, but the pin hasn't arrived. Perhaps that will be in today and I can get the card activated and order those tickets.
It does look like I had more financially planned this month than what I can afford. The tickets and auto and home taxes will be about all I cover this month beyond what I have bought or tended so far. Food and fuel will consume the rest of my free monies. Oh, and, maybe a date or two. I'm not broke, exactly, but some of the things I was considering (like extra plywood) are rather more than I want to risk my little growing nest egg and extra spending money upon. While it can be frustrating to not be able to just go, buy, then do, it does make such projects more satisfying when complete.
Yes, I know. I still have the roof to work, I still haven't ridden the bike, I still haven't hiked. But I have the bike functioning and set up, I have hiking boots and wear them often in order to break them in (and they are getting comfortable), I have a list of things that will make doing the roof possible and the materials laid up, I have the plans formulated for the solar oven... While not there, I am getting there. As I can. And I am taking care of most business that needs attention. I even, finally, have a surplus with the city, so I am not in arrears. And I mean to keep it that way. I am simply not good at... paying on time, monthly, and such. Next month they will get another payment that will give me three months to forget about it.
Well, on to my day. Have a good one.
Oh no!
.
.
I got toxed. Never mind, something a slippery slope of samplings and the fact that I haven't touched alcohol in longer than usual. I really have to watch that. Not sure why or wherefore. Stupid is as stupid does, in any case. Just... going around removing my idiocy where I can. Wow, really didn't see that coming. Thankfully I didn't do anything like go to town, as bad as it was otherwise. I r an idiot more often than not.
There was a time when this was more common. Then I fixed it. Hmm, going to have to remember what I did. No, I kept drinking, I just didn't drink much or often. Shame helped. I guess I will use this shame again. Big shame. Apologies, too.
.
I got toxed. Never mind, something a slippery slope of samplings and the fact that I haven't touched alcohol in longer than usual. I really have to watch that. Not sure why or wherefore. Stupid is as stupid does, in any case. Just... going around removing my idiocy where I can. Wow, really didn't see that coming. Thankfully I didn't do anything like go to town, as bad as it was otherwise. I r an idiot more often than not.
There was a time when this was more common. Then I fixed it. Hmm, going to have to remember what I did. No, I kept drinking, I just didn't drink much or often. Shame helped. I guess I will use this shame again. Big shame. Apologies, too.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
I never get as much as I hope to do done.
.
.
I am okay with that, up to a point. I don't have to like it. I can try to change that. I think, however, at this age, regardless of effort, regardless of will, regardless of anything, I move as fast as I am going to move and I do things in such a way to where optimization has already probably been had and passed. I will, if anything, probably slow down even more as time passes. Like it? Like I said, I don't have to. And it wouldn't matter in any case.
I did make it into town. Later than I had hoped but within reason. I do believe my friend started to become suspicious when I was not there when I said I would be. I took some time mentally sorting things out. Calling his sister took a bit more time. Showering and shaving, checking the mail. It all added up to more time than I thought it would take, when added to the drive and this insane summer traffic. On top of the few roads available is summer tourist travel and probably extra summer business needs for that, such as supplies, services, repair, and add in road work and other work which requires good weather and road use or blockage. You all know that, of course.
I decided to pick up hard candy. I bought four pounds of various kinds. It is what I have used when I have been on the patch. I picked four types I have seen him have at his apartment. I then went to see him. I explained why I could not, in good conscience, bring him cigarettes. After I did, I was glad of it even more than before, or at least how I went about it. If I had told him it was his sister, he would have tried really hard to get me to just ignore her or slide a little or such. This way he knows right out that I won't do that. They had forgotten to give him his patch today. I think they listen to conversations and thought I was going to bring him cigarettes. In any case, when I learned he had not gotten his patch, I went and asked an aide to see if the nurse would do so. He got his patch, and other medicine, right away.
Oh, I bet he is mad as heck. Yes indeed. A good friend doesn't do that, not to the logic of an addict. That is coming from an addict (if one who will be quitting soon, again, after a bit of a break after my mother returns home from her visit). My friend doesn't want to quit. And I am most certain, when he leaves the hospital, he will begin smoking again. You can't force it. But for now, that is what he has.
He will be contacting his sister about picking up a couple of pistols and some ammunition this Saturday. I think he ought to bring enough ammo out that we can shoot once a week for a month, so we don't have to keep bugging his sister. I can just keep it stored here. A meal out too, for him, should be good. But he says they have allowed him seconds, to his hearts content, so he is now being fed well. All good. Hopefully his sister will get him on the 21 mg patch. Look, the easier it is to go without the more likely he is to actually consider quitting. Suffering through quitting is no way to succeed. I just don't understand why they do that unless they expect people to cheat, then it makes even less sense. The difference between 14mg and 21mg patch, on top of other tobacco use, is just as lethal. If they are going to cheat then don't start them on the patch unless you know they can't cheat.
That took up my afternoon until it was too late to pick up the map. Which is fine. I remembered something on my way home, another reason to be in town and early tomorrow and the day after. The county fair. And, that would be a potential event to invite the map lady. I want to look at the goats, which are showing early in the day. Oh, she might be interested, but she will be working. However, it will give me an opportunity to see if there is anything else there which might be worth seeing with a companion. She is Mormon, so she might not be a coffee (or tea) drinker. But there are non-caffeine drinks available (and no, not wine... you guys!). Anyway, I have a potential place to invite her to be, public, maybe fun, we will see.
I need to check on flights. It seems my mother is back to wanting an open-ended visit. I think the flights will be less expensive as one way flights in any case, plus it offers me the ability to buy half of the tickets one month and the other half the next month. Just a cash flow thing. She thinks perhaps that angiography might go forward with her here, and I think so too. When I figure out the tickets, I will give the V.A. a call and look around for hotels/motels in the area. Ones with a shuttle service. Oh, my mother is an excellent driver. But I don't want to put her through city driving in a strange city, early in the morning, and all that. Yes, yes, wonderful son, yes, yes. No, I just don't want to die screaming on fire. :p Nah, just don't want to stress her.
I still haven't gotten on my bike. It WILL happen. It is just that now that I am doing at least a bit better, my functional time is being used on what I can and am really doing. You would think using four to six hours a day would leave me plenty of time to still get on the bike. But it doesn't. When I am done, if I am able to get back to things, it will be dishes and laundry until those are caught up. And I haven't been able to get to those, even, yet. So, just... wait. I'm getting to it. Got to admit, at least I am not just sitting on my bum, looking at a monitor or television. I've even restarted weighing and taking my blood pressure first thing, then taking medicine (including potassium), and am back into day-time living. Hmm, when did that all happen? How did it happen? Never mind. It just did.
Later or good night.
.
I am okay with that, up to a point. I don't have to like it. I can try to change that. I think, however, at this age, regardless of effort, regardless of will, regardless of anything, I move as fast as I am going to move and I do things in such a way to where optimization has already probably been had and passed. I will, if anything, probably slow down even more as time passes. Like it? Like I said, I don't have to. And it wouldn't matter in any case.
I did make it into town. Later than I had hoped but within reason. I do believe my friend started to become suspicious when I was not there when I said I would be. I took some time mentally sorting things out. Calling his sister took a bit more time. Showering and shaving, checking the mail. It all added up to more time than I thought it would take, when added to the drive and this insane summer traffic. On top of the few roads available is summer tourist travel and probably extra summer business needs for that, such as supplies, services, repair, and add in road work and other work which requires good weather and road use or blockage. You all know that, of course.
I decided to pick up hard candy. I bought four pounds of various kinds. It is what I have used when I have been on the patch. I picked four types I have seen him have at his apartment. I then went to see him. I explained why I could not, in good conscience, bring him cigarettes. After I did, I was glad of it even more than before, or at least how I went about it. If I had told him it was his sister, he would have tried really hard to get me to just ignore her or slide a little or such. This way he knows right out that I won't do that. They had forgotten to give him his patch today. I think they listen to conversations and thought I was going to bring him cigarettes. In any case, when I learned he had not gotten his patch, I went and asked an aide to see if the nurse would do so. He got his patch, and other medicine, right away.
Oh, I bet he is mad as heck. Yes indeed. A good friend doesn't do that, not to the logic of an addict. That is coming from an addict (if one who will be quitting soon, again, after a bit of a break after my mother returns home from her visit). My friend doesn't want to quit. And I am most certain, when he leaves the hospital, he will begin smoking again. You can't force it. But for now, that is what he has.
He will be contacting his sister about picking up a couple of pistols and some ammunition this Saturday. I think he ought to bring enough ammo out that we can shoot once a week for a month, so we don't have to keep bugging his sister. I can just keep it stored here. A meal out too, for him, should be good. But he says they have allowed him seconds, to his hearts content, so he is now being fed well. All good. Hopefully his sister will get him on the 21 mg patch. Look, the easier it is to go without the more likely he is to actually consider quitting. Suffering through quitting is no way to succeed. I just don't understand why they do that unless they expect people to cheat, then it makes even less sense. The difference between 14mg and 21mg patch, on top of other tobacco use, is just as lethal. If they are going to cheat then don't start them on the patch unless you know they can't cheat.
That took up my afternoon until it was too late to pick up the map. Which is fine. I remembered something on my way home, another reason to be in town and early tomorrow and the day after. The county fair. And, that would be a potential event to invite the map lady. I want to look at the goats, which are showing early in the day. Oh, she might be interested, but she will be working. However, it will give me an opportunity to see if there is anything else there which might be worth seeing with a companion. She is Mormon, so she might not be a coffee (or tea) drinker. But there are non-caffeine drinks available (and no, not wine... you guys!). Anyway, I have a potential place to invite her to be, public, maybe fun, we will see.
I need to check on flights. It seems my mother is back to wanting an open-ended visit. I think the flights will be less expensive as one way flights in any case, plus it offers me the ability to buy half of the tickets one month and the other half the next month. Just a cash flow thing. She thinks perhaps that angiography might go forward with her here, and I think so too. When I figure out the tickets, I will give the V.A. a call and look around for hotels/motels in the area. Ones with a shuttle service. Oh, my mother is an excellent driver. But I don't want to put her through city driving in a strange city, early in the morning, and all that. Yes, yes, wonderful son, yes, yes. No, I just don't want to die screaming on fire. :p Nah, just don't want to stress her.
I still haven't gotten on my bike. It WILL happen. It is just that now that I am doing at least a bit better, my functional time is being used on what I can and am really doing. You would think using four to six hours a day would leave me plenty of time to still get on the bike. But it doesn't. When I am done, if I am able to get back to things, it will be dishes and laundry until those are caught up. And I haven't been able to get to those, even, yet. So, just... wait. I'm getting to it. Got to admit, at least I am not just sitting on my bum, looking at a monitor or television. I've even restarted weighing and taking my blood pressure first thing, then taking medicine (including potassium), and am back into day-time living. Hmm, when did that all happen? How did it happen? Never mind. It just did.
Later or good night.
Honesty is the best policy.
.
.
But it sucks. The deal is, my friend wanted me to pick him up a pack of cigarettes. Which, in most situations, would be fine. The problem is he is on the patch, nicotine patch. The combination is very bad, using tobacco and using the patch together can easily cause an overdose which can cause a heart attack. I had thought to use his sister as an excuse, and I did call her. She said I could use her as cover, and I really thought about it. But then, no. She admitted to having scared off his other friend, the one who was bringing him cigarettes. Since she has some influence in his medical treatment, I asked that she see if they would raise the strength of his patch since he still has powerful urges. The stronger patch is what I have to start out with, it has worked for me.
So, I am going to just come clean with my friend and tell him I couldn't bring him cigarettes with a clear conscience. I will also take him some hard candy. It ain't much but it is the best I can do with regards to his request. It would be easy to just say his sister jumped my case, it would be even easier yet to just not show up and avoid, sort of. But that's not how I roll I guess. Sometimes being me sucks. But, since I have found this way, even if life isn't easier, I don't have things from recent history popping out at me, in my mind. I don't have lies to remember, fibs hanging over my head, "understandings" with people. Just... the realities of life as they are, not as I had hoped they would be and fudged to make them so. Still sucks.
Well, on to town. Have a good one too.
.
But it sucks. The deal is, my friend wanted me to pick him up a pack of cigarettes. Which, in most situations, would be fine. The problem is he is on the patch, nicotine patch. The combination is very bad, using tobacco and using the patch together can easily cause an overdose which can cause a heart attack. I had thought to use his sister as an excuse, and I did call her. She said I could use her as cover, and I really thought about it. But then, no. She admitted to having scared off his other friend, the one who was bringing him cigarettes. Since she has some influence in his medical treatment, I asked that she see if they would raise the strength of his patch since he still has powerful urges. The stronger patch is what I have to start out with, it has worked for me.
So, I am going to just come clean with my friend and tell him I couldn't bring him cigarettes with a clear conscience. I will also take him some hard candy. It ain't much but it is the best I can do with regards to his request. It would be easy to just say his sister jumped my case, it would be even easier yet to just not show up and avoid, sort of. But that's not how I roll I guess. Sometimes being me sucks. But, since I have found this way, even if life isn't easier, I don't have things from recent history popping out at me, in my mind. I don't have lies to remember, fibs hanging over my head, "understandings" with people. Just... the realities of life as they are, not as I had hoped they would be and fudged to make them so. Still sucks.
Well, on to town. Have a good one too.
Another day.
.
.
My friend called, and has left me with a quandary in a request. Something about being an adult and using ones best instincts. Is it fair? No. Do I understand? Yes. Do you like or love someone, and once answered, how do you move forward with that? No, never mind. Just understand that I have to do what I don't want to do to do what I must if I can use some politics, or diplomacy, regarding it. If a man wants to hang himself, he shouldn't ask his friends to tie the rope. That's all I am saying. His friends might, those who merely like him (if it's just business). Yeah, I have a plan.
The map is ready. I might be able to pick that up today. I am not sure if I should ask to meet her later right there and then or wait a day. Basically I will have to explore while we chat. Everything is... timing... when it comes to dealing with a woman. She wants, hopes, and expects. She also fears, doubts, distrusts perhaps. A woman is often set to "No!", which means, "Hurry up, fool!". Reading the lines, checking for the best time to ask, using skill, being brave without being stupid. Bold is good, but if it is faux don't do it. Not if it feels fake, more if it really is. To be honest, I have always felt like a bit of a fraud when dealing with women. For good reason.
A lot of my experience introducing and getting to know a woman has been forced, fake, weird, like scenes from cheesy movies. I used to think there might be better. Then I realized the only reason I have to meet a woman I don't yet know at all is for the very reason their mother's warn them against men. And their only reason, until they know me, to go forward with a proposal is to make sure it happens. All give or take, with caveats, and mostly. It isn't personal. The bottom line is it is about sex whether either of us want to admit it, even in a relationship I don't plan to let go that far. It is about physical attraction. So, yeah, it is going to be cheesy. Maybe more so with my near surety that I don't even intend to do more than associate, flirt, and have her as company from time to time. Actually, perhaps more so since there is nothing but a physical attraction with no intent to act on it. A lie in a lie even if I tell the truth, which being a woman she wouldn't believe anyway. The deal is to make it as smooth as possible, as on point and away from the realities regarding the final seeming goal. Keep the proposal in the moment and clean of anything future, any promise, or anything other than the surety of coffee and talk, or maybe negotiating the details of some possible mutually accepted event.
No matter how many women I have met, it is always a weird thing though. And it has been a while since I interviewed a woman. Once attraction is noted, it becomes an interview. Her for a captain she can believe in, me for a first mate who I think can do what my long view would require. And of course, all with an eye to what type of crew might be preferred. Just... thoughts.
It sure makes me wonder about what I am doing. Then again, if I ever knew that I wouldn't be able to ever do anything. Or, something like that. If you really already knew, what would be the point, in long and real and over views? Well, that is not true. We may not know, but like I said above regarding meeting women, we already know or have intent, it is just so internalized, automated, understood, that we never dig into the why consciously, often. The plain truth seems like a smack or a jab, when we finally uncover it openly. Never... mind.
I'll play it by ear. Go with my gut instinct. I might even let you know, later. Or not. For now, piss off. I am not going to corner myself. :p
.
My friend called, and has left me with a quandary in a request. Something about being an adult and using ones best instincts. Is it fair? No. Do I understand? Yes. Do you like or love someone, and once answered, how do you move forward with that? No, never mind. Just understand that I have to do what I don't want to do to do what I must if I can use some politics, or diplomacy, regarding it. If a man wants to hang himself, he shouldn't ask his friends to tie the rope. That's all I am saying. His friends might, those who merely like him (if it's just business). Yeah, I have a plan.
The map is ready. I might be able to pick that up today. I am not sure if I should ask to meet her later right there and then or wait a day. Basically I will have to explore while we chat. Everything is... timing... when it comes to dealing with a woman. She wants, hopes, and expects. She also fears, doubts, distrusts perhaps. A woman is often set to "No!", which means, "Hurry up, fool!". Reading the lines, checking for the best time to ask, using skill, being brave without being stupid. Bold is good, but if it is faux don't do it. Not if it feels fake, more if it really is. To be honest, I have always felt like a bit of a fraud when dealing with women. For good reason.
A lot of my experience introducing and getting to know a woman has been forced, fake, weird, like scenes from cheesy movies. I used to think there might be better. Then I realized the only reason I have to meet a woman I don't yet know at all is for the very reason their mother's warn them against men. And their only reason, until they know me, to go forward with a proposal is to make sure it happens. All give or take, with caveats, and mostly. It isn't personal. The bottom line is it is about sex whether either of us want to admit it, even in a relationship I don't plan to let go that far. It is about physical attraction. So, yeah, it is going to be cheesy. Maybe more so with my near surety that I don't even intend to do more than associate, flirt, and have her as company from time to time. Actually, perhaps more so since there is nothing but a physical attraction with no intent to act on it. A lie in a lie even if I tell the truth, which being a woman she wouldn't believe anyway. The deal is to make it as smooth as possible, as on point and away from the realities regarding the final seeming goal. Keep the proposal in the moment and clean of anything future, any promise, or anything other than the surety of coffee and talk, or maybe negotiating the details of some possible mutually accepted event.
No matter how many women I have met, it is always a weird thing though. And it has been a while since I interviewed a woman. Once attraction is noted, it becomes an interview. Her for a captain she can believe in, me for a first mate who I think can do what my long view would require. And of course, all with an eye to what type of crew might be preferred. Just... thoughts.
It sure makes me wonder about what I am doing. Then again, if I ever knew that I wouldn't be able to ever do anything. Or, something like that. If you really already knew, what would be the point, in long and real and over views? Well, that is not true. We may not know, but like I said above regarding meeting women, we already know or have intent, it is just so internalized, automated, understood, that we never dig into the why consciously, often. The plain truth seems like a smack or a jab, when we finally uncover it openly. Never... mind.
I'll play it by ear. Go with my gut instinct. I might even let you know, later. Or not. For now, piss off. I am not going to corner myself. :p
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Into town.
.
.
I made a few more calls first, the one to my mother was successful, the one for business not so much. I then headed in to town, for the maps. One of the maps was successfully created, the other wasn't. The woman working on the map will be trying to get the other map made and will contact me when it is done. She is a rather attractive woman. It seems she is single. After the maps have been made and business is done, I may ask her for a simple coffee date, or something. No, I don't think it will work. Mostly my wish for children and knowing she is near my age. However, occasional feminine company isn't bad. It's not fair for a woman to both attractive and handsome in a feminine way and all at once. Nice looking dame.
That took far longer, however, and as usual, than expected. The company of a pretty woman makes time fly. I did not have much left for shopping or visiting my friend. I did, however, stop and buy a few bottles of wine on my way home, something I want to have daily, remember. I noticed they do have Johnny Walker Blue, but at a $70 premium over the best prices I can find online. The wine I like they didn't have, but could order at double the cost of online prices. Yeah, it stinks. I'm going to have to figure something out. Anyway... Then to my favorite restaurant. I could have eaten it all, but I saved enough to bring home pretty much a whole extra meal (which I am about to dispose of in the proper way, perhaps with a glass of wine).
I was pretty much done after my doings. Not that it was all that much, just add in what I have been doing and it adds up, given that I have been sitting for three weeks. Tomorrow, a bike ride, early. Then a call to my friend to arrange a visit. And maybe back into town for the visit or at least groceries. And, of course, the map might end up being ready. Yes, I will ask her out. Nothing fancy like a steak dinner, something easy, breezy, public, and fun. Perhaps coffee at a local shop, one of the better coffee houses, maybe some snacks somewhere. I don't know how physically active she is, for a minor hike. Uhrm, no. That wouldn't work. I hate dawdling and women dawdle, even women who say they like to hike. I move when I get on a trail. Most women call it jogging, they just have short legs and too much hind weight. :)
Well, a bit of tinkering then it is time for bed. Yes, the race is back on. Good night.
.
I made a few more calls first, the one to my mother was successful, the one for business not so much. I then headed in to town, for the maps. One of the maps was successfully created, the other wasn't. The woman working on the map will be trying to get the other map made and will contact me when it is done. She is a rather attractive woman. It seems she is single. After the maps have been made and business is done, I may ask her for a simple coffee date, or something. No, I don't think it will work. Mostly my wish for children and knowing she is near my age. However, occasional feminine company isn't bad. It's not fair for a woman to both attractive and handsome in a feminine way and all at once. Nice looking dame.
That took far longer, however, and as usual, than expected. The company of a pretty woman makes time fly. I did not have much left for shopping or visiting my friend. I did, however, stop and buy a few bottles of wine on my way home, something I want to have daily, remember. I noticed they do have Johnny Walker Blue, but at a $70 premium over the best prices I can find online. The wine I like they didn't have, but could order at double the cost of online prices. Yeah, it stinks. I'm going to have to figure something out. Anyway... Then to my favorite restaurant. I could have eaten it all, but I saved enough to bring home pretty much a whole extra meal (which I am about to dispose of in the proper way, perhaps with a glass of wine).
I was pretty much done after my doings. Not that it was all that much, just add in what I have been doing and it adds up, given that I have been sitting for three weeks. Tomorrow, a bike ride, early. Then a call to my friend to arrange a visit. And maybe back into town for the visit or at least groceries. And, of course, the map might end up being ready. Yes, I will ask her out. Nothing fancy like a steak dinner, something easy, breezy, public, and fun. Perhaps coffee at a local shop, one of the better coffee houses, maybe some snacks somewhere. I don't know how physically active she is, for a minor hike. Uhrm, no. That wouldn't work. I hate dawdling and women dawdle, even women who say they like to hike. I move when I get on a trail. Most women call it jogging, they just have short legs and too much hind weight. :)
Well, a bit of tinkering then it is time for bed. Yes, the race is back on. Good night.
Almost blew it!
.
.
While doing a little straightening, I... lost my phone. I spent an hour just looking for my phone and finally gave up. I had to take a break and just not think about it. These types of events used to be quite frequent but I have become much better. This being an exception. On the other hand, after a half an hour break, I got back to it and... *relaxing*... found it. So, back to it.
I called about the sunglasses. I knew the price listed could not be the real price. At $94 for the glasses, I knew that had to be wrong. Further, there really wasn't a method of choosing lenses or much else. And, the order form (should I have decided to do it by phone) seemed to not quite have a way of putting in all the information. So I called and... perfect. They train their call taker to be guides for use, fit, and the rest. I had a wonderful conversation with the woman about what is available, my uses, options, and such. Her recommendation was actually the lower priced option, her next was a mid-range option. How much more can you ask, then simple honesty? Sum total, the cost of the glasses runs from $250 to $400. I am thinking about one of these, and will order when my card arrives (bank card got lost, another on the way). It takes two weeks. As for a second pair? When I call I am going to ask if they have goggles that will fit my prescription. The goggles I looked at seemed to indicate they only fit low to medium scripts. Not really my thing, or from what I am told. These are the goggles I want. Okay, I have that on tap.
Next, I called the library at the USU, got transferred to the map makers (and they are open most of the day, not just a spot thing!). I spoke with the woman there. Another good conversation. With waterproof paper, maps are $6 per for 4x4 and under. They can and will help me find areas with hiking potential, they know the area to a degree or at least have worked with enough people to act as minor technical guides and what hikes to take for specific things. Nice. She gave me an online source so that perhaps I could take a general look at hikes. I think I have been there. If it is the place, they only have a few hikes locally and some of those are well beyond my capacity to start things off. I will find out shortly.
Now I just need to look up some hiking choices, perhaps consider a few others from guidance by the library folks, call my friend, and do some shopping and maybe stop in for a quick visit. I didn't get the bike ride in this morning but I still have time. No dishes or laundry going either, but I have been a bit busy and too frustrated when not technically busy. Yeah, it's started though. I should be back on track in no time. Oh, best set up my medicine and take it. I did also find the new medicine sheet of changes while I was looking for the phone. (But I still can't find the glasses scripts I picked up yesterday, I found the old one while digging, BAHHHH!). Anyway. Remember that "wheels on ice" analogy? Yeah, well. There she be!
Ciao.
.
While doing a little straightening, I... lost my phone. I spent an hour just looking for my phone and finally gave up. I had to take a break and just not think about it. These types of events used to be quite frequent but I have become much better. This being an exception. On the other hand, after a half an hour break, I got back to it and... *relaxing*... found it. So, back to it.
I called about the sunglasses. I knew the price listed could not be the real price. At $94 for the glasses, I knew that had to be wrong. Further, there really wasn't a method of choosing lenses or much else. And, the order form (should I have decided to do it by phone) seemed to not quite have a way of putting in all the information. So I called and... perfect. They train their call taker to be guides for use, fit, and the rest. I had a wonderful conversation with the woman about what is available, my uses, options, and such. Her recommendation was actually the lower priced option, her next was a mid-range option. How much more can you ask, then simple honesty? Sum total, the cost of the glasses runs from $250 to $400. I am thinking about one of these, and will order when my card arrives (bank card got lost, another on the way). It takes two weeks. As for a second pair? When I call I am going to ask if they have goggles that will fit my prescription. The goggles I looked at seemed to indicate they only fit low to medium scripts. Not really my thing, or from what I am told. These are the goggles I want. Okay, I have that on tap.
Next, I called the library at the USU, got transferred to the map makers (and they are open most of the day, not just a spot thing!). I spoke with the woman there. Another good conversation. With waterproof paper, maps are $6 per for 4x4 and under. They can and will help me find areas with hiking potential, they know the area to a degree or at least have worked with enough people to act as minor technical guides and what hikes to take for specific things. Nice. She gave me an online source so that perhaps I could take a general look at hikes. I think I have been there. If it is the place, they only have a few hikes locally and some of those are well beyond my capacity to start things off. I will find out shortly.
Now I just need to look up some hiking choices, perhaps consider a few others from guidance by the library folks, call my friend, and do some shopping and maybe stop in for a quick visit. I didn't get the bike ride in this morning but I still have time. No dishes or laundry going either, but I have been a bit busy and too frustrated when not technically busy. Yeah, it's started though. I should be back on track in no time. Oh, best set up my medicine and take it. I did also find the new medicine sheet of changes while I was looking for the phone. (But I still can't find the glasses scripts I picked up yesterday, I found the old one while digging, BAHHHH!). Anyway. Remember that "wheels on ice" analogy? Yeah, well. There she be!
Ciao.
Up and figuring out my day.
.
.
Alive and well, give or take. Today being a new day and opportunity seems to be a real thing. For whatever reason I seem to have the opportunity to put my feet back on the ground and begin moving in the right directions again. My main thing is to do dishes and laundry. It will be messy to get taken care of, so be it. And, I think a bike ride today (after some pictures). And I need to begin considering maps again. But I know where to get them now.
I have, for the most part, organized my pack for travel. I don't have any foods in it or for it, but will solve that shortly. Initially, I will just buy the usual foods, granola, granola bars, protein bars. I really want candy bars, but until I cut my soda back I don't want to add even more sugar. I do need to cut my soda intake to a can ever few days. Bah, another thing.
Oh, some things from yesterday. On my way to and from my appointment I was listening to the Catholic radio station. I often do that, when I can turn off my loud rock and metal. Anyway, I got hit hard, three different times, on two different areas. The first thing I got hit regarding involved the computer and television. Two different times I was hit by the notion I need to turn these things off and "do something else". I can't recall the other thing, but it will come to me.
So, what I have decided, not including time that I work (as I use breaks to blog, read news, or game), that for every 12 hours, four hours minimally will be set aside as 'nothing-electric' times. I can read, I can pray, I can ride my bike or hike, I can do anything but sit and watch or tinker. I cannot watch tv, use the computer, listen to the radio, or do anything that has an external input source. If this works well, I will extend it. I have to change some of my habits from being ill. Further, I have to consider that these habits have indeed become a part of the "illness". Yes, yes I do. And, the period has to be perfect. I mean four hours can't be a half an hour here, a half an hour there, but full on and I am guessing two hours at a time or more, and specified. Preferably in a full four hour block (or more) at a time. Yes, the gauntlet is laid, or rather, smacked across the face.
I think, today, I will go in, check on maps, call my friend and maybe visit (and maybe visit again tomorrow), do some shopping for hiking/biking foods, look for a water container and holder for my bike (aluminum is fine, I think), take out the trash, do some dishes, do some laundry (not all of either probably), use the scripts to order a pair or two of sunglasses, and that should be more than I can get done but enough to begin living again. Why the on/off button? Frag if I know. But it says "on", so, that is what I am.
Go, go, go!!!
.
Alive and well, give or take. Today being a new day and opportunity seems to be a real thing. For whatever reason I seem to have the opportunity to put my feet back on the ground and begin moving in the right directions again. My main thing is to do dishes and laundry. It will be messy to get taken care of, so be it. And, I think a bike ride today (after some pictures). And I need to begin considering maps again. But I know where to get them now.
I have, for the most part, organized my pack for travel. I don't have any foods in it or for it, but will solve that shortly. Initially, I will just buy the usual foods, granola, granola bars, protein bars. I really want candy bars, but until I cut my soda back I don't want to add even more sugar. I do need to cut my soda intake to a can ever few days. Bah, another thing.
Oh, some things from yesterday. On my way to and from my appointment I was listening to the Catholic radio station. I often do that, when I can turn off my loud rock and metal. Anyway, I got hit hard, three different times, on two different areas. The first thing I got hit regarding involved the computer and television. Two different times I was hit by the notion I need to turn these things off and "do something else". I can't recall the other thing, but it will come to me.
So, what I have decided, not including time that I work (as I use breaks to blog, read news, or game), that for every 12 hours, four hours minimally will be set aside as 'nothing-electric' times. I can read, I can pray, I can ride my bike or hike, I can do anything but sit and watch or tinker. I cannot watch tv, use the computer, listen to the radio, or do anything that has an external input source. If this works well, I will extend it. I have to change some of my habits from being ill. Further, I have to consider that these habits have indeed become a part of the "illness". Yes, yes I do. And, the period has to be perfect. I mean four hours can't be a half an hour here, a half an hour there, but full on and I am guessing two hours at a time or more, and specified. Preferably in a full four hour block (or more) at a time. Yes, the gauntlet is laid, or rather, smacked across the face.
I think, today, I will go in, check on maps, call my friend and maybe visit (and maybe visit again tomorrow), do some shopping for hiking/biking foods, look for a water container and holder for my bike (aluminum is fine, I think), take out the trash, do some dishes, do some laundry (not all of either probably), use the scripts to order a pair or two of sunglasses, and that should be more than I can get done but enough to begin living again. Why the on/off button? Frag if I know. But it says "on", so, that is what I am.
Go, go, go!!!
Monday, August 8, 2011
Split the difference.
.
.
After a brief break, to the bike I went. Well, then back into the house to get this, that, and the other thing. I never said I was organized. And I am pushing it today (not effort wise, merely by still being awake). Add that to being a newb and you get what you got here. Still, I finally got it all out there. Two of the items simply would not fit. The cheapo rack and the better light would no more go on then I would put my foot in your shoes literally, figuratively, professionally, or anywise. The rest I was able to *juryrig. Oh, I must have looked like a monkey with a machine gun. And I grunted and tugged, pulled and twisted, ducked and bent to get it all in, on, tight, and secure. I even took it for a test ride. Just up the drive and back. I wasn't sure what gears were in play compared to where the chain was, and I am a bit wobbly from a long day (in all ways), so I wasn't a handsome vision of even a fat man on a bike. I didn't die, wreck, or lose the chain. All good.
I thought I could do the bike first, since it has been on the menu longer than the solar oven, and then I could just pop in and start making those calls. Between the bike taking (yes, you know this part) LONGER THAN EXPECTED (Hush you!) and the fact that the shipping people work 9 to 5, the information was not garnered. Well, I did get much of what I wanted to do completed. I even got to argue with a medical type. Life is good. Hmm, I might require a beer! I bought some the other day. I figure it is time for a beer a day. Just one, every day. I want to see if it has any effects over, say, a month, three months, and a year. If I don't keel over before then, I am betting it will be helpful. I will simply take it a few hours before I take my bedtime medicine.
Well, ain't that pretty. A full day, a successful day, and all that after a long day out of my little world yesterday. Now to try and keep it going. Not too much gas, just like on ice, if I can control that. Well, I do have the weight vest... just like adding weight to a rear wheel drive? Yeah. Actually for similar reasons, to help ensure the energy is used positively (according to the operator). Blathering, definitely blathering. I actually do have fodder for a later post, about other things that happened today. Later though.
And later now. Tschuss.
.
After a brief break, to the bike I went. Well, then back into the house to get this, that, and the other thing. I never said I was organized. And I am pushing it today (not effort wise, merely by still being awake). Add that to being a newb and you get what you got here. Still, I finally got it all out there. Two of the items simply would not fit. The cheapo rack and the better light would no more go on then I would put my foot in your shoes literally, figuratively, professionally, or anywise. The rest I was able to *juryrig. Oh, I must have looked like a monkey with a machine gun. And I grunted and tugged, pulled and twisted, ducked and bent to get it all in, on, tight, and secure. I even took it for a test ride. Just up the drive and back. I wasn't sure what gears were in play compared to where the chain was, and I am a bit wobbly from a long day (in all ways), so I wasn't a handsome vision of even a fat man on a bike. I didn't die, wreck, or lose the chain. All good.
I thought I could do the bike first, since it has been on the menu longer than the solar oven, and then I could just pop in and start making those calls. Between the bike taking (yes, you know this part) LONGER THAN EXPECTED (Hush you!) and the fact that the shipping people work 9 to 5, the information was not garnered. Well, I did get much of what I wanted to do completed. I even got to argue with a medical type. Life is good. Hmm, I might require a beer! I bought some the other day. I figure it is time for a beer a day. Just one, every day. I want to see if it has any effects over, say, a month, three months, and a year. If I don't keel over before then, I am betting it will be helpful. I will simply take it a few hours before I take my bedtime medicine.
Well, ain't that pretty. A full day, a successful day, and all that after a long day out of my little world yesterday. Now to try and keep it going. Not too much gas, just like on ice, if I can control that. Well, I do have the weight vest... just like adding weight to a rear wheel drive? Yeah. Actually for similar reasons, to help ensure the energy is used positively (according to the operator). Blathering, definitely blathering. I actually do have fodder for a later post, about other things that happened today. Later though.
And later now. Tschuss.
Continued.
.
.
I think they do read my blog, at the doctor's office. I suggested that I was having problems with memory, concentration, and such. The woman (not the doctor, but one of the heart transplant specialists) was all over that. Suggesting maybe I had dementia or Alzheimer. She thought maybe neuro should look me over. She suggested that these medicines would never (never?) cause such problems, nor would the underlying health issues for the use of such medicine. Being a bit tired I chewed on that a bit. Then I got up to bat. First, I of course suggested all her suggestions might be perfectly valid. *cough* *BULLSHIT* *cough* Then I suggested that both the condition and the medicines might cause or exacerbate exhaustion, right? Right, sure, yeah. Okay, and exhaustion can lead to a downgrade in attention span, concentration, and memory, right? Oh, well, yeah. I love offering a cup of shut-the-hell-up to newbies. And she is an old hand but used to handling old befuddled men, not younger lions who still have at least a few teeth. ROarhahaharrrr Hey, I like my job. For some reason, the heart transplant specialist who started with me left and another came in. Both are very aggressive. The first one poked me, hard. *laugh* I think she was actually mad. I hope I didn't hurt her pen. Fair enough, I had forgotten some things, but as I said, it's been a shitty three weeks (compared to recent high tides of function).
The doc came in a bit later. He always has a grin. I'm not sure if he is laughing with or at me. Simply, I don't care. I lean toward with, with a touch of at. I think he thinks I'm a hoot, give or take. I'm something like (if decayed a bit) a full bodied warrior with the mind of a truly grumpy old man, or something like that. He's from Eastern Europe, or right on the border, I think. I don't know. But he is okay in my book. Well, the decision was to double down on the heart medicine. I asked for 20 mg more of the main water pill, lasix, and he consented. Yes, we are dodging liver failure on this stuff. And, according to them, my fluid level seems fine. Still, a bit of give and take helps. Oddly, they don't want to see me for a month. All good, really. Or maybe I have simply pissed them off and they have put me on a backburner, like the others. Who knows.
So, some things to do, some project tools purchased, some materials being considered. You know, it's not bad. Even just what I have done today already beats my recent track record. Throw in yesterday and I'm on a roll. Beats being on a croissant. I suppose, as I have never tried that. Never.
Mind.
.
I think they do read my blog, at the doctor's office. I suggested that I was having problems with memory, concentration, and such. The woman (not the doctor, but one of the heart transplant specialists) was all over that. Suggesting maybe I had dementia or Alzheimer. She thought maybe neuro should look me over. She suggested that these medicines would never (never?) cause such problems, nor would the underlying health issues for the use of such medicine. Being a bit tired I chewed on that a bit. Then I got up to bat. First, I of course suggested all her suggestions might be perfectly valid. *cough* *BULLSHIT* *cough* Then I suggested that both the condition and the medicines might cause or exacerbate exhaustion, right? Right, sure, yeah. Okay, and exhaustion can lead to a downgrade in attention span, concentration, and memory, right? Oh, well, yeah. I love offering a cup of shut-the-hell-up to newbies. And she is an old hand but used to handling old befuddled men, not younger lions who still have at least a few teeth. ROarhahaharrrr Hey, I like my job. For some reason, the heart transplant specialist who started with me left and another came in. Both are very aggressive. The first one poked me, hard. *laugh* I think she was actually mad. I hope I didn't hurt her pen. Fair enough, I had forgotten some things, but as I said, it's been a shitty three weeks (compared to recent high tides of function).
The doc came in a bit later. He always has a grin. I'm not sure if he is laughing with or at me. Simply, I don't care. I lean toward with, with a touch of at. I think he thinks I'm a hoot, give or take. I'm something like (if decayed a bit) a full bodied warrior with the mind of a truly grumpy old man, or something like that. He's from Eastern Europe, or right on the border, I think. I don't know. But he is okay in my book. Well, the decision was to double down on the heart medicine. I asked for 20 mg more of the main water pill, lasix, and he consented. Yes, we are dodging liver failure on this stuff. And, according to them, my fluid level seems fine. Still, a bit of give and take helps. Oddly, they don't want to see me for a month. All good, really. Or maybe I have simply pissed them off and they have put me on a backburner, like the others. Who knows.
So, some things to do, some project tools purchased, some materials being considered. You know, it's not bad. Even just what I have done today already beats my recent track record. Throw in yesterday and I'm on a roll. Beats being on a croissant. I suppose, as I have never tried that. Never.
Mind.
Okay, nothing fancy...
.
.
I didn't get everything done today I had hoped to accomplish. I made it to the docs on time. I got a copy of my glasses prescription, and found out where the Release of Information Office is located and how to use it. All good, for SLC. On my way home I stopped at Lowe's and picked up a couple of dovetail saws (I think, yes I am in ignoramus regarding tools and finding help is close to pulling teeth). To be fair, half of the workers are in "civies", the ones who might know something. Cashiers, usually women, can no more than suggest that, say, a tool might be in the tool section. Thanks, again and by the way, for that great lead. No real snips, just a couple of snarks. Pay the gimp on the screen no attention. I also picked up a chisel set (Stanley, as good of a set as they carry and it should work) and a set of files for sharpening my own saws and such (in theory, though I might need other tools for sharpening). I grabbed a bite or three to eat on the way home as well.
What I failed to do was price, say, four or five sheets of plywood and delivery. But that would have meant as many as two or three more stops and a lot of city driving and then maybe going back to the best priced store if I didn't luck out and get the best price last (I am not lucky). I simply wasn't up to more travel and hassle of finding someone who can get someone who might or might not know how sheets of plywood and delivery is billed. Yes, I have been told by the wood order and delivery guy that he didn't know if shipping would be charged or not. I suppose they can't know it all. But shipping charges? No, no, it's fine. Often these are only college kids. The new junior high? I also didn't make it in to Church to make an appointment (or better get a walk-in) with my priest. We have been phone tagging but he seems to have quit. Fair enough, I hope.
Further, I still have half a day left to me! Travel is out, I am simply done that way. While it is only 85 F, I did not sleep last night. I just missed the cut-off to safely sleep and still expect to rise. Thus all the blogshattery last night. Ramble, ramble, grumble, and moan... (the rest is censored) Never... mind... But, I can call around and find the best price and delivery charge deal. I have one and a quarter panel of 3/4" plywood. While that would work swell, it simply is a bit much for a solar oven. I don't need it to be bullet... no... nuclear proof (literally, in a way? heh (well, the sun IS nuclear, in it's own way)). I think 1/4" panel would work and be more economical, though I will probably go with 1/2" plywood as a medium (and probably easier to join than 1/4" plywood).
What else I can try and do is put that dratted bike together. Oh, the bike itself is fine. But the bells and... no whistles, but lights, saddle, "rack", and some other pieces, sure. The Lord knows I do not know if I will get a single more thing done. Well, I mean HE does know, I do not. I need to rest a bit, after the trip, after the heat, after doing what I could and did do. Not a nap, I don't think. Just a bit of chill time.
continued
.
I didn't get everything done today I had hoped to accomplish. I made it to the docs on time. I got a copy of my glasses prescription, and found out where the Release of Information Office is located and how to use it. All good, for SLC. On my way home I stopped at Lowe's and picked up a couple of dovetail saws (I think, yes I am in ignoramus regarding tools and finding help is close to pulling teeth). To be fair, half of the workers are in "civies", the ones who might know something. Cashiers, usually women, can no more than suggest that, say, a tool might be in the tool section. Thanks, again and by the way, for that great lead. No real snips, just a couple of snarks. Pay the gimp on the screen no attention. I also picked up a chisel set (Stanley, as good of a set as they carry and it should work) and a set of files for sharpening my own saws and such (in theory, though I might need other tools for sharpening). I grabbed a bite or three to eat on the way home as well.
What I failed to do was price, say, four or five sheets of plywood and delivery. But that would have meant as many as two or three more stops and a lot of city driving and then maybe going back to the best priced store if I didn't luck out and get the best price last (I am not lucky). I simply wasn't up to more travel and hassle of finding someone who can get someone who might or might not know how sheets of plywood and delivery is billed. Yes, I have been told by the wood order and delivery guy that he didn't know if shipping would be charged or not. I suppose they can't know it all. But shipping charges? No, no, it's fine. Often these are only college kids. The new junior high? I also didn't make it in to Church to make an appointment (or better get a walk-in) with my priest. We have been phone tagging but he seems to have quit. Fair enough, I hope.
Further, I still have half a day left to me! Travel is out, I am simply done that way. While it is only 85 F, I did not sleep last night. I just missed the cut-off to safely sleep and still expect to rise. Thus all the blogshattery last night. Ramble, ramble, grumble, and moan... (the rest is censored) Never... mind... But, I can call around and find the best price and delivery charge deal. I have one and a quarter panel of 3/4" plywood. While that would work swell, it simply is a bit much for a solar oven. I don't need it to be bullet... no... nuclear proof (literally, in a way? heh (well, the sun IS nuclear, in it's own way)). I think 1/4" panel would work and be more economical, though I will probably go with 1/2" plywood as a medium (and probably easier to join than 1/4" plywood).
What else I can try and do is put that dratted bike together. Oh, the bike itself is fine. But the bells and... no whistles, but lights, saddle, "rack", and some other pieces, sure. The Lord knows I do not know if I will get a single more thing done. Well, I mean HE does know, I do not. I need to rest a bit, after the trip, after the heat, after doing what I could and did do. Not a nap, I don't think. Just a bit of chill time.
continued
No sleep, again, again.
.
.
Ah well, it was mostly a nice quiet night. Other than an incendiary addendum, but that wasn't a bother to me. Just the facts, ma'am. Actually, I'm still chuckling, sort of. I really should have popped some popcorn though. Maybe another night. I have been looking over tools, actual hand tools like axes, mauls, and such, for firewood lumbering. That is some dang hard work. I've done it. Three to five cords a summer. I was never allowed to fell trees or touch the chainsaw (being a foster kid). I did, however, "get" to remove branches, haul the wood (usually on a fairly steep slope and up to a quarter to a half mile, sometimes up and sometimes down that slope), and chop the wood for the stove or fireplace (little of that as it was something my foster father could do, he had a heart condition (I might have too, actually, even then)). Still, I have some idea of what is involved.
I can't quite wrap my bean around felling a tree with an axe, limbing it, cutting it into lengths for hauling long distance, hauling it some long distance, then cutting it into suitable lengths for a stove and fireplace, and then splitting it down for whichever purpose. Without a chainsaw. Beyond the maul and wedges, I would probably need a smaller maul, a felling axe, another axe (for limbing), several tools for manipulating the felled tree or parts of it, and at least one crosscut saw. At least, that would be mare minimum. I might really want chains, a tow hook and harness, and who knows what else. I suppose I could start with a chainsaw. Yes, this is fantasy a bit, but I would like to have to preparation here, tool-wise.
No, I have decided not to buy these tools. I still have the oven to work on. And the coop roof to install. In that order goes my money priority. As far as projects go. I do have a rough hand drawn sketch of the oven, I just haven't gotten much farther. The world of the reals has been eluding me. Instead of buying those tools tomorrow, I may look at hand tools for creating the joinery needed for the solar oven. I would really love 18 volt battery power tools, but I think I will pass. In the end, that would be the cheaper way. But unless I have solar power, they would end up as expensive paperweights, leaving me without tools. However, I will look at what mauls and such are available. And, I will be putting large money on those tools, compared to big box stores. It is very much worth the extra money for truly good tools, when it comes to hand tools.
Almost time to start heading out. I want to look up what hand tools are recommended for the simple joinery required, and book mark several technique pages for doing so. Yes, like a rooster with his head cut off, but... only of the mind. I am staying on track if I do seem to lose focus. Now to... move forward instead of just sitting. Ugh!
Have a great day. Later.
.
Ah well, it was mostly a nice quiet night. Other than an incendiary addendum, but that wasn't a bother to me. Just the facts, ma'am. Actually, I'm still chuckling, sort of. I really should have popped some popcorn though. Maybe another night. I have been looking over tools, actual hand tools like axes, mauls, and such, for firewood lumbering. That is some dang hard work. I've done it. Three to five cords a summer. I was never allowed to fell trees or touch the chainsaw (being a foster kid). I did, however, "get" to remove branches, haul the wood (usually on a fairly steep slope and up to a quarter to a half mile, sometimes up and sometimes down that slope), and chop the wood for the stove or fireplace (little of that as it was something my foster father could do, he had a heart condition (I might have too, actually, even then)). Still, I have some idea of what is involved.
I can't quite wrap my bean around felling a tree with an axe, limbing it, cutting it into lengths for hauling long distance, hauling it some long distance, then cutting it into suitable lengths for a stove and fireplace, and then splitting it down for whichever purpose. Without a chainsaw. Beyond the maul and wedges, I would probably need a smaller maul, a felling axe, another axe (for limbing), several tools for manipulating the felled tree or parts of it, and at least one crosscut saw. At least, that would be mare minimum. I might really want chains, a tow hook and harness, and who knows what else. I suppose I could start with a chainsaw. Yes, this is fantasy a bit, but I would like to have to preparation here, tool-wise.
No, I have decided not to buy these tools. I still have the oven to work on. And the coop roof to install. In that order goes my money priority. As far as projects go. I do have a rough hand drawn sketch of the oven, I just haven't gotten much farther. The world of the reals has been eluding me. Instead of buying those tools tomorrow, I may look at hand tools for creating the joinery needed for the solar oven. I would really love 18 volt battery power tools, but I think I will pass. In the end, that would be the cheaper way. But unless I have solar power, they would end up as expensive paperweights, leaving me without tools. However, I will look at what mauls and such are available. And, I will be putting large money on those tools, compared to big box stores. It is very much worth the extra money for truly good tools, when it comes to hand tools.
Almost time to start heading out. I want to look up what hand tools are recommended for the simple joinery required, and book mark several technique pages for doing so. Yes, like a rooster with his head cut off, but... only of the mind. I am staying on track if I do seem to lose focus. Now to... move forward instead of just sitting. Ugh!
Have a great day. Later.
Addendum
.
.
The reason that "In the Mouth of Madness" strikes a cord with me... Take out the evil monsters and add in the vices of socialism and communism and you see the connection. If the protagonist is a 'secular man', he has no hope of fighting the changes or the vices or the new reality. You see the story of a secular man trying to deny what has become the new reality. You even see him try to find the one thing that could save him, using a black crayon. But without a well built and structured and true faith, it does him no good in the end. In the end, he simply does what it takes to become a part of the new reality. He does what the Godless must do in such situations.
The people, the liberals, around me remind me of the other actors. The woman, like my last, seeks to experiment in thought and loses herself. The character played by Charlton Heston, like so many others, is merely a pawn and is completely malleable. The only real good guy, who fights and loses, is Sutter Cane's agent. It almost seems to be truly about "liberalism". I honestly wonder if that wasn't the point. So many people wanting to believe in something that truly isn't real. And yet, by means of force and by breaking minds, they mean to make it true. Whether feminists (or feminist part deux if that was too much for your delicacy, a humor palate cleanser), socialists, communists (what information is still available online), islamists or here or here, multiculturalists, take your pick, or the others like greens (think wind power or electric vehicles, completely unsustainable, impossible, more expensive, less efficient (and less green as they term things) power sources, they all mean to force their way, and for the most part, they have succeeded. In spite of having all been proven wrong. I don't choose reality, I simply know it. I also know what is false and have the faith to reject it.
As a horror, the movie is okay. As a view of what has, is, and may happen? It is spot on. Now, where is my popcorn?
.
The reason that "In the Mouth of Madness" strikes a cord with me... Take out the evil monsters and add in the vices of socialism and communism and you see the connection. If the protagonist is a 'secular man', he has no hope of fighting the changes or the vices or the new reality. You see the story of a secular man trying to deny what has become the new reality. You even see him try to find the one thing that could save him, using a black crayon. But without a well built and structured and true faith, it does him no good in the end. In the end, he simply does what it takes to become a part of the new reality. He does what the Godless must do in such situations.
The people, the liberals, around me remind me of the other actors. The woman, like my last, seeks to experiment in thought and loses herself. The character played by Charlton Heston, like so many others, is merely a pawn and is completely malleable. The only real good guy, who fights and loses, is Sutter Cane's agent. It almost seems to be truly about "liberalism". I honestly wonder if that wasn't the point. So many people wanting to believe in something that truly isn't real. And yet, by means of force and by breaking minds, they mean to make it true. Whether feminists (or feminist part deux if that was too much for your delicacy, a humor palate cleanser), socialists, communists (what information is still available online), islamists or here or here, multiculturalists, take your pick, or the others like greens (think wind power or electric vehicles, completely unsustainable, impossible, more expensive, less efficient (and less green as they term things) power sources, they all mean to force their way, and for the most part, they have succeeded. In spite of having all been proven wrong. I don't choose reality, I simply know it. I also know what is false and have the faith to reject it.
As a horror, the movie is okay. As a view of what has, is, and may happen? It is spot on. Now, where is my popcorn?
Sunday, August 7, 2011
A visit with my friend.
.
.
It took me calling several times to finally get through to the place he stays. I don't know that they are truly short staffed, though they might be. Or they simply don't have a dedicated phone staff. And, as big as the place is, I can see where they would be busy in any case. Dedicated phone staff isn't always possible. No problem, just frustrating. He is at a center to help him learn to use the prosthetic. His sister now has legal authority over decisions, in case he becomes incapacitated. Though he still is basically in charge. There are many good things about the arrangement.
Anyway, what he wanted was food and more food. So after finally actually contacting him, I headed into to town and stopped to do a bit of grocery shopping. Just snack foods as he doesn't have a refrigerator. Cheese and crackers, two different kinds, peanut butter and crackers, cookies, donuts, and some other stuff. A pretty pennies worth, which should keep him in eats for a good week, as snack supplements to what they feed him anyway. I also gave him $30, as he only had $8 on him. I've been broke in a hospital before. It sucks. He doesn't have a lot of need, but who knows. Maybe they will go out some day and he will have a chance to buy a sundae, soda, or other gedunk. If nothing else, he knows he has a little bit of cash.
We chatted up a storm. I stayed, oh, maybe four hours, five? I think he needed a visitor. For a bit he had no contact with any of us. They took him in the middle of last month. He didn't have anyone's phone numbers! I suppose he couldn't remember where they were. He had half memorized them, but then the surgery and being a hospital, and trying to figure everything else out, he became befuddled. Oh, it's not an age thing, I have been there. Especially when you are really sick or in pain, the brain just can't pull it up, you become doubtful, make mistakes, then just give up. He finally just sent a letter to Newton with just my name and the city, and hoped they would know what to do with it. It worked.
For my part, I had been calling and visiting. For obvious reasons now, to no avail. I really was concerned but I had no way of... finding him, or learning his fate. I now have his sister's phone number and address. I sort of knew where she lived, but was always baffled about which street to take. There are many streets similar to it, yet when on the right street I know right how to get there. Now I have the data, which I will put both in my cell phone and in my address book. I feel bad that he was stuck and alone.
Well, it was a good talk. He really wants to get out and about. He would also like to have some of his guns available, for shooting. I suggested he speak with the facility people, and see if they would lend him a wheelchair for outside. Then speak with his sister about us visiting and getting a couple of his guns and ammunition, which I will keep for him (I am sure he can't have them where he is staying). And then let me know when would be the best time. Since he has twice daily (weekday) therapy, and other doings during the week, he thought weekends would be best. Still, I think we could at least take an afternoon drive and walk through parks but will leave that up to him. I suggested, with a wheelchair, he will finally be able to go my pace! I suggested he get a wheelchair with a windshield or get used to a road-rage hair-do. He just grinned.
They cut off up to the middle of his shin. His foot was dead, literally. There was nothing there. He still has pain, though not phantom pain so much. Learning to wear the prosthetic is something of a trick, more an endurance thing. I suggested he now knows what a horse goes through while it is being saddle trained, and I think he liked the analogy if not the fact. Still, I think he will be better for it. That foot was nothing but trouble and only a half a foot to start with. He will now have a whole foot, one that hopefully won't hurt to use.
He is looking quite thin. I hope the goodies help him regain some strength and weight. At 6', a man shouldn't weigh 130! I'll have to visit a few times a week, and bring real food and check on his snacks. I would like to make it so that I don't visit on days his other friends and family visit so as not to wear him out or leave him with more days without a visitor.
It was good to get out, myself. I didn't get everything on my list completed, but I have another shot at it tomorrow. Since I couldn't find my hatchet, and it isn't much of a hatchet in any case, I am going to look for a solid hatchet tomorrow. I might also pick up a felling axe, look over splitting wedges and a sludge hammer or better a maul. Picking up little things along the way is all I can do so it is what I do. If I can get what I consider a solid group for $150 to $200, I might just get it all. Two splitting wedges, actually, if I can. If I don't see anything local that looks good, I might just order this grouping, the splitting maul and a pair of wedges.
My appointment is early tomorrow, so I need to start figuring out how to get some sleep. I will need a bit of time to come down though. I have the windows open and fans going gangbuster to cool things off, which should help a ton. Anyway, have a great night.
.
It took me calling several times to finally get through to the place he stays. I don't know that they are truly short staffed, though they might be. Or they simply don't have a dedicated phone staff. And, as big as the place is, I can see where they would be busy in any case. Dedicated phone staff isn't always possible. No problem, just frustrating. He is at a center to help him learn to use the prosthetic. His sister now has legal authority over decisions, in case he becomes incapacitated. Though he still is basically in charge. There are many good things about the arrangement.
Anyway, what he wanted was food and more food. So after finally actually contacting him, I headed into to town and stopped to do a bit of grocery shopping. Just snack foods as he doesn't have a refrigerator. Cheese and crackers, two different kinds, peanut butter and crackers, cookies, donuts, and some other stuff. A pretty pennies worth, which should keep him in eats for a good week, as snack supplements to what they feed him anyway. I also gave him $30, as he only had $8 on him. I've been broke in a hospital before. It sucks. He doesn't have a lot of need, but who knows. Maybe they will go out some day and he will have a chance to buy a sundae, soda, or other gedunk. If nothing else, he knows he has a little bit of cash.
We chatted up a storm. I stayed, oh, maybe four hours, five? I think he needed a visitor. For a bit he had no contact with any of us. They took him in the middle of last month. He didn't have anyone's phone numbers! I suppose he couldn't remember where they were. He had half memorized them, but then the surgery and being a hospital, and trying to figure everything else out, he became befuddled. Oh, it's not an age thing, I have been there. Especially when you are really sick or in pain, the brain just can't pull it up, you become doubtful, make mistakes, then just give up. He finally just sent a letter to Newton with just my name and the city, and hoped they would know what to do with it. It worked.
For my part, I had been calling and visiting. For obvious reasons now, to no avail. I really was concerned but I had no way of... finding him, or learning his fate. I now have his sister's phone number and address. I sort of knew where she lived, but was always baffled about which street to take. There are many streets similar to it, yet when on the right street I know right how to get there. Now I have the data, which I will put both in my cell phone and in my address book. I feel bad that he was stuck and alone.
Well, it was a good talk. He really wants to get out and about. He would also like to have some of his guns available, for shooting. I suggested he speak with the facility people, and see if they would lend him a wheelchair for outside. Then speak with his sister about us visiting and getting a couple of his guns and ammunition, which I will keep for him (I am sure he can't have them where he is staying). And then let me know when would be the best time. Since he has twice daily (weekday) therapy, and other doings during the week, he thought weekends would be best. Still, I think we could at least take an afternoon drive and walk through parks but will leave that up to him. I suggested, with a wheelchair, he will finally be able to go my pace! I suggested he get a wheelchair with a windshield or get used to a road-rage hair-do. He just grinned.
They cut off up to the middle of his shin. His foot was dead, literally. There was nothing there. He still has pain, though not phantom pain so much. Learning to wear the prosthetic is something of a trick, more an endurance thing. I suggested he now knows what a horse goes through while it is being saddle trained, and I think he liked the analogy if not the fact. Still, I think he will be better for it. That foot was nothing but trouble and only a half a foot to start with. He will now have a whole foot, one that hopefully won't hurt to use.
He is looking quite thin. I hope the goodies help him regain some strength and weight. At 6', a man shouldn't weigh 130! I'll have to visit a few times a week, and bring real food and check on his snacks. I would like to make it so that I don't visit on days his other friends and family visit so as not to wear him out or leave him with more days without a visitor.
It was good to get out, myself. I didn't get everything on my list completed, but I have another shot at it tomorrow. Since I couldn't find my hatchet, and it isn't much of a hatchet in any case, I am going to look for a solid hatchet tomorrow. I might also pick up a felling axe, look over splitting wedges and a sludge hammer or better a maul. Picking up little things along the way is all I can do so it is what I do. If I can get what I consider a solid group for $150 to $200, I might just get it all. Two splitting wedges, actually, if I can. If I don't see anything local that looks good, I might just order this grouping, the splitting maul and a pair of wedges.
My appointment is early tomorrow, so I need to start figuring out how to get some sleep. I will need a bit of time to come down though. I have the windows open and fans going gangbuster to cool things off, which should help a ton. Anyway, have a great night.
The economy, education, culture...
.
.
I keep talking about how I feel about most of what is going on around me. I have alluded to the last scene in this movie. Well, finally, here it is. How I feel about the title can be summed up, starting at about 2:24. Don't watch this ending however, if you want to watch the whole movie (linked below... hey, a free horror flick). And I usually mention popcorn, too.
If you want to watch the whole thing, this link will take you to the start. Yes, you can watch the whole thing, but in bits (it automatically continues to play, and there are no commercials). If you want to watch a free horror.
.
I keep talking about how I feel about most of what is going on around me. I have alluded to the last scene in this movie. Well, finally, here it is. How I feel about the title can be summed up, starting at about 2:24. Don't watch this ending however, if you want to watch the whole movie (linked below... hey, a free horror flick). And I usually mention popcorn, too.
If you want to watch the whole thing, this link will take you to the start. Yes, you can watch the whole thing, but in bits (it automatically continues to play, and there are no commercials). If you want to watch a free horror.
Finally unpacked.
.
.
I keep emails saved, for purchases, until I have inspected and accepted the item(s). So the rocket stove and water pasteurizer related emails (and a ton of them) were clogging up my email box. They have been here for days now, but just... sat there, in their boxes, unopened. I finally got to it and opened them up today. They sure look bigger on the internet. This isn't an issue, at all, of course. The size is appropriate and they will function just fine and as advertised. Smaller is actually probably better. While slightly heavier then I thought, as well. I guess I didn't realize there was as much brick in there as there is. Not so heavy I, or even a woman or even a child, could not manage, mind you. Appearances can be deceiving is all. Why, my foot is as tall as the stove, and greater than the diameter (that is sort of my measure as to if something is big, medium, or small, well, added with weight. They are handsome little devices. I will keep one email so as to be sure to have the order number and such. If I get to it and try them before long, practice with them a bit, and perhaps actually cook something (but what?), I will leave a comment on their page.
Of course, opening the package and setting the stove up has me thinking I should get my hatchet and go deal with those limbs. Some of them are probably too thin, and could just disappear to dust or something (so I hear). But they would be excellent fodder if they are still useful, before they rot. Fodder to begin experimenting. Use up the stuff that would simply crumble, before it crumbles. The locals seem to have some notion, or at least lore, regarding the survival arena. Better yet, it is based on the local climate and such. Yes, I trust it. Nothing is absolute, but there are better and worse places to make your exceptions and I do trust them locally.
Yes, getting to some branches. Chopping and sorting. I will look at the website, but I think twigs and branches of about a foot long is what is needed (my foot makes a perfect measure, give or take as my feet are a bit longer and shoes make it more so). For now, lighting the fire will simply be done with matches. In time this will be an excellent way to experiment with alternative methods of lighting a fire, of which I have several, and there are other mechanical ones (pre-industrial methods) I would like to try. I am not sure what type of pot or pan will work on this cooker? Will stainless char? Should I only use cast iron? I am not sure what kind of heat to expect (what ranges of heat). Will this be hot enough to sear meat? How long to boil water? There are two doors. For wood burning, one has to be open. The other seems to be the temperature control via air flow and also probably has to be open to some degree. Want it hot? Open it up all the way. At least I am reasonably seasoned as a cook so I should be able to tell what is what with practice. I'll look around to see what others recommend about using this cooker.
Anyway, after a bit of branch work, assuming I can find my hatchet, I plan to call my friend. I am hoping he is able to have a visitor today. If so, I'll see if he needs or wants anything. It's good to be the gimp! Yeah, I'll tease him too. Just because he lost the rest of that foot doesn't mean I'm going to go all teary and crap. Plus, I want to see the stump! We'll probably chuckle about him becoming ol' pegleg. :p A visitor might help him get up and out a bit quicker. I am hoping with that troublesome foot gone, and as he learns to use the prosthetic, he will be more mobile. That foot was always sore, it was always swollen, and it wasn't complete on top of that. I had worried he had simply blown me off, for some unknown reason (though I can be an arse, duh).
Well, let me get cracking. Actually, having taken a shower yesterday, and with short hair and a baseball cap, I think I'll skip a shower until after doing the lumber jacking. :) A bit to eat, first, would be good. I don't have much on hand. Hmm, beer and Pringles? Yeah. Bleh. Later.
.
I keep emails saved, for purchases, until I have inspected and accepted the item(s). So the rocket stove and water pasteurizer related emails (and a ton of them) were clogging up my email box. They have been here for days now, but just... sat there, in their boxes, unopened. I finally got to it and opened them up today. They sure look bigger on the internet. This isn't an issue, at all, of course. The size is appropriate and they will function just fine and as advertised. Smaller is actually probably better. While slightly heavier then I thought, as well. I guess I didn't realize there was as much brick in there as there is. Not so heavy I, or even a woman or even a child, could not manage, mind you. Appearances can be deceiving is all. Why, my foot is as tall as the stove, and greater than the diameter (that is sort of my measure as to if something is big, medium, or small, well, added with weight. They are handsome little devices. I will keep one email so as to be sure to have the order number and such. If I get to it and try them before long, practice with them a bit, and perhaps actually cook something (but what?), I will leave a comment on their page.
Of course, opening the package and setting the stove up has me thinking I should get my hatchet and go deal with those limbs. Some of them are probably too thin, and could just disappear to dust or something (so I hear). But they would be excellent fodder if they are still useful, before they rot. Fodder to begin experimenting. Use up the stuff that would simply crumble, before it crumbles. The locals seem to have some notion, or at least lore, regarding the survival arena. Better yet, it is based on the local climate and such. Yes, I trust it. Nothing is absolute, but there are better and worse places to make your exceptions and I do trust them locally.
Yes, getting to some branches. Chopping and sorting. I will look at the website, but I think twigs and branches of about a foot long is what is needed (my foot makes a perfect measure, give or take as my feet are a bit longer and shoes make it more so). For now, lighting the fire will simply be done with matches. In time this will be an excellent way to experiment with alternative methods of lighting a fire, of which I have several, and there are other mechanical ones (pre-industrial methods) I would like to try. I am not sure what type of pot or pan will work on this cooker? Will stainless char? Should I only use cast iron? I am not sure what kind of heat to expect (what ranges of heat). Will this be hot enough to sear meat? How long to boil water? There are two doors. For wood burning, one has to be open. The other seems to be the temperature control via air flow and also probably has to be open to some degree. Want it hot? Open it up all the way. At least I am reasonably seasoned as a cook so I should be able to tell what is what with practice. I'll look around to see what others recommend about using this cooker.
Anyway, after a bit of branch work, assuming I can find my hatchet, I plan to call my friend. I am hoping he is able to have a visitor today. If so, I'll see if he needs or wants anything. It's good to be the gimp! Yeah, I'll tease him too. Just because he lost the rest of that foot doesn't mean I'm going to go all teary and crap. Plus, I want to see the stump! We'll probably chuckle about him becoming ol' pegleg. :p A visitor might help him get up and out a bit quicker. I am hoping with that troublesome foot gone, and as he learns to use the prosthetic, he will be more mobile. That foot was always sore, it was always swollen, and it wasn't complete on top of that. I had worried he had simply blown me off, for some unknown reason (though I can be an arse, duh).
Well, let me get cracking. Actually, having taken a shower yesterday, and with short hair and a baseball cap, I think I'll skip a shower until after doing the lumber jacking. :) A bit to eat, first, would be good. I don't have much on hand. Hmm, beer and Pringles? Yeah. Bleh. Later.
Pictures tell the truth.
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.
I look harsh in pictures. A gnarly grumpy looking ruffled older man, that is what I see. No way around it, I look rough. I guess I am dieing, and I am well into "middle aged", so it goes with the territory. And while I have never said I believed myself to be a handsome man, health issues and age don't help. It's sort of like finding an open wound and someone coming along with a sharp stick to probe it, tossing a little salt in as well to see what happens. Never photogenic, that isn't improving. Ah well. But yeah, cameras do not lie, and worse. Don't ever believe when they say the DMV pictures are always bad, or I should say worse than the truth. Just understand, you aren't looking for a mate who shares your taste (sort of like the "When you believe you may be accosted by a bear, don't go alone, and don't worry about running faster than the bear, just make sure you run faster than your partner:). Never mind.
I am feeling better. I simply can't get off my butt. Leaditis, a disease common to me, is still keeping me down. I have been looking for that window of opportunity, that chance to escape. I was hoping yesterday, getting out and about, might... trigger something. It did not. On the good side, it didn't cause a negative slide by exhausting me further. I did get out for a meal after the class though. Nothing fancy, a lunch at Chuck-O-Rama, they have a new one in Logan. Actually, I like the place, mostly. Being new it isn't as gritty as older buffet style restaurants. Then again... Still, I like going. It's less expensive than Arby's, has more variety, and I love their fried chicken as it is one thing I have never learned to actually cook correctly. The option to have whatever looks good is simply a plus. I never really overeat, either. Two plates, not truly stacked, and I am good. I never have room for desert. Often my second plate is salads, though not yesterday. Nope, that didn't get me going but it was something new, a little more than planned, and a pleasantry to have a full course meal, with mostly meat, a bit of vegetables, and no dishes.
awake: 4:00
.
I look harsh in pictures. A gnarly grumpy looking ruffled older man, that is what I see. No way around it, I look rough. I guess I am dieing, and I am well into "middle aged", so it goes with the territory. And while I have never said I believed myself to be a handsome man, health issues and age don't help. It's sort of like finding an open wound and someone coming along with a sharp stick to probe it, tossing a little salt in as well to see what happens. Never photogenic, that isn't improving. Ah well. But yeah, cameras do not lie, and worse. Don't ever believe when they say the DMV pictures are always bad, or I should say worse than the truth. Just understand, you aren't looking for a mate who shares your taste (sort of like the "When you believe you may be accosted by a bear, don't go alone, and don't worry about running faster than the bear, just make sure you run faster than your partner:). Never mind.
I am feeling better. I simply can't get off my butt. Leaditis, a disease common to me, is still keeping me down. I have been looking for that window of opportunity, that chance to escape. I was hoping yesterday, getting out and about, might... trigger something. It did not. On the good side, it didn't cause a negative slide by exhausting me further. I did get out for a meal after the class though. Nothing fancy, a lunch at Chuck-O-Rama, they have a new one in Logan. Actually, I like the place, mostly. Being new it isn't as gritty as older buffet style restaurants. Then again... Still, I like going. It's less expensive than Arby's, has more variety, and I love their fried chicken as it is one thing I have never learned to actually cook correctly. The option to have whatever looks good is simply a plus. I never really overeat, either. Two plates, not truly stacked, and I am good. I never have room for desert. Often my second plate is salads, though not yesterday. Nope, that didn't get me going but it was something new, a little more than planned, and a pleasantry to have a full course meal, with mostly meat, a bit of vegetables, and no dishes.
awake: 4:00
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Two actual letters!
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Odd. I haven't received a real letter in nearly a year and I receive two of them on the same day. I don't know about you, but I love real letters. Hand written, mind you. One was on a card, the other on simple paper. Both from people I care about, deeply, if quite differently. I may not have many friends. And my friendships may be contentious, as my lady friend termed it. But I do have good friends.
The first, from my lady friend, suggested she feels really bad about me being so ill. She even has considered moving out. She gave three reasons why she shouldn't. No, no, I won't laugh. I am sure she is almost serious, as far as serious goes. I will contact her soon, probably by phone. What she doesn't understand is... I was ill from this pretty much the whole time she knew me and long before then. Sure, the edema was a little bit of a radical departure. But it was just a few months. Anyway, it is always good to hear from her. And I do like that she has that sentiment. But more, it is good to know she is doing well. Hey, I'm a bit cheesy sometimes, but I would rather know people are doing good than most anything else. The rest just comes down to the notion that it's the thought the counts. Of course, there is more. She wrote more than what I have said but not in essence. And yet, you have to know her, and I do. For it, she "hates me". And I love it. *evil grins*
The other was from my local friend. I had tried to contact him but heard nothing. I simply couldn't get through and I couldn't seem to find him at home. I didn't know if he was avoiding me or... what. It seems he has had the rest of his foot removed. How far up his leg they went I don't know. From the sounds of it, it was quite necessary. On top of that, he has been moved. He is semi-hospitalized (or actually in a nursing facility). He must remain there until he can learn to use the prosthetic. He also seems to have a new phone number. He gave me both the new number and new address. I tried to call this evening but no one answered. I'll keep calling and see if he needs anything when I visit. I am sure visiting hours, and maybe phone times, might be limited. Hmm, I wonder what I could bring? Sausage, the good kind, and some edam cheese? Yep. And anything else he might suggest he needs.
Well, to bed early tonight, I do believe. Another hour of dinking and toodling and I'll be down for the count. Hmm, woke at 3:00, down by 21:00, 18 hours uptime. Yeah, that's good.
awake: 3:00, asleep: 22:45
(yesterday) awake: 3:00, asleep: 15:00
(All times are from when I laid down, not necessarily when I actually fell asleep but do assume significant, single period, sleep. However, in the last... many months and mostly, sleep happens rather quickly, like what you would expect when someone says they went to bed.)
.
Odd. I haven't received a real letter in nearly a year and I receive two of them on the same day. I don't know about you, but I love real letters. Hand written, mind you. One was on a card, the other on simple paper. Both from people I care about, deeply, if quite differently. I may not have many friends. And my friendships may be contentious, as my lady friend termed it. But I do have good friends.
The first, from my lady friend, suggested she feels really bad about me being so ill. She even has considered moving out. She gave three reasons why she shouldn't. No, no, I won't laugh. I am sure she is almost serious, as far as serious goes. I will contact her soon, probably by phone. What she doesn't understand is... I was ill from this pretty much the whole time she knew me and long before then. Sure, the edema was a little bit of a radical departure. But it was just a few months. Anyway, it is always good to hear from her. And I do like that she has that sentiment. But more, it is good to know she is doing well. Hey, I'm a bit cheesy sometimes, but I would rather know people are doing good than most anything else. The rest just comes down to the notion that it's the thought the counts. Of course, there is more. She wrote more than what I have said but not in essence. And yet, you have to know her, and I do. For it, she "hates me". And I love it. *evil grins*
The other was from my local friend. I had tried to contact him but heard nothing. I simply couldn't get through and I couldn't seem to find him at home. I didn't know if he was avoiding me or... what. It seems he has had the rest of his foot removed. How far up his leg they went I don't know. From the sounds of it, it was quite necessary. On top of that, he has been moved. He is semi-hospitalized (or actually in a nursing facility). He must remain there until he can learn to use the prosthetic. He also seems to have a new phone number. He gave me both the new number and new address. I tried to call this evening but no one answered. I'll keep calling and see if he needs anything when I visit. I am sure visiting hours, and maybe phone times, might be limited. Hmm, I wonder what I could bring? Sausage, the good kind, and some edam cheese? Yep. And anything else he might suggest he needs.
Well, to bed early tonight, I do believe. Another hour of dinking and toodling and I'll be down for the count. Hmm, woke at 3:00, down by 21:00, 18 hours uptime. Yeah, that's good.
awake: 3:00, asleep: 22:45
(yesterday) awake: 3:00, asleep: 15:00
(All times are from when I laid down, not necessarily when I actually fell asleep but do assume significant, single period, sleep. However, in the last... many months and mostly, sleep happens rather quickly, like what you would expect when someone says they went to bed.)
The two pistols on my list.
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.
I know, too early to be too hopeful. But one can't help dreaming. The two pistols on my list I could probably get sooner rather than later are topping my list, currently. One for those times when almost no pistol seems possible (think shorts and t-shirt, or swim trunks). The other for more general small carry. I do like revolvers, if they aren't as fun to shoot (as a 14 round .45). They work, every time. I think I am stuck on that S&W Chief Special for the .357 mag. Weight isn't an issue for me, in conceal carry, at least not like it is with most people. Further, the extra weight of a steel gun reduces recoil. I am able to shoot my friend's .357 magnum with full .357 (+P, as he likes to load them hot!) with a single hand (and bounce a can at 35 plus feet). His is even a pug, sub 2" barrel. The Chief has a 3" barrel (the one that I want, there are two types of Chiefs, at least). The other pistol comes highly recommended by a source I trust (though hand size might or might not be an issue). I am not sure I can use it. I will have to see if someone around has one for range rent. It's called a Black Widow, a 22 mag (and I can get a .22 lr cylinder for it as well, I do believe).
Yeah, I still want that shotgun, the KSG. I have heard Kel-Tec is synonymous with poor delivery. They offer possibly cutting edge weapons and either they are fail or they are impossible to get. Then instead of printing them per demand, they just move on to... something else cool and interesting. I can hope they will be better poised to pounce on opportunity, with the economy the way it is. Or I will simply have to wait for the patents to die for someone with an interest in making a buck to come along and copy, and produce in numbers. Plus, it won't be out until the end of the year, so I would have time to reconfigure my savings.
Why three carry pistols? First, I like having a backup. Second, there are different situations that call for different types of carry. Beyond all that? If allowed... How about because I can? If I get my permit I plan to carry at all times (when legal to do so). I see it as a civil duty, no less than voting. I see it as a right that should be exercised (or it will be lost). It is seriously doubtful I will ever have to use it. I do avoid bad parts of cities. I do my work in the day (when possible). I avoid trouble and can almost smell it. Even if someone broke into my home, I have doubts I would actually have to shoot, not here. Probably just someone's problem child and I really wouldn't send them a corpse because they have a stupid kid. I might train my gun on someone like that, then merely call the cops whatever else happened (assuming they froze or ran).
Jazzed by the class I guess. I could have gotten a conceal carry in Iowa, I had a permit to buy handguns for four years. There really shouldn't be an issue. Who knows though, Utah is different from Iowa. However this time I will get to the bottom of any problems, and if it is somehow the V.A., I will get people on that. From what I am seeing with my heart doctors, they realize it was a terrible mistake to have listed me as psychiatric. I think they darn well know my problem has simply been heart related. They know the symptomology. It fits. That my heart was simply not explored as a problem is a shame, and embarrassment, even though I was pretty young when it became an issue. Sure, it wasn't them, but it was their field. Anyway, I will get the permit if I can.
.
I know, too early to be too hopeful. But one can't help dreaming. The two pistols on my list I could probably get sooner rather than later are topping my list, currently. One for those times when almost no pistol seems possible (think shorts and t-shirt, or swim trunks). The other for more general small carry. I do like revolvers, if they aren't as fun to shoot (as a 14 round .45). They work, every time. I think I am stuck on that S&W Chief Special for the .357 mag. Weight isn't an issue for me, in conceal carry, at least not like it is with most people. Further, the extra weight of a steel gun reduces recoil. I am able to shoot my friend's .357 magnum with full .357 (+P, as he likes to load them hot!) with a single hand (and bounce a can at 35 plus feet). His is even a pug, sub 2" barrel. The Chief has a 3" barrel (the one that I want, there are two types of Chiefs, at least). The other pistol comes highly recommended by a source I trust (though hand size might or might not be an issue). I am not sure I can use it. I will have to see if someone around has one for range rent. It's called a Black Widow, a 22 mag (and I can get a .22 lr cylinder for it as well, I do believe).
Yeah, I still want that shotgun, the KSG. I have heard Kel-Tec is synonymous with poor delivery. They offer possibly cutting edge weapons and either they are fail or they are impossible to get. Then instead of printing them per demand, they just move on to... something else cool and interesting. I can hope they will be better poised to pounce on opportunity, with the economy the way it is. Or I will simply have to wait for the patents to die for someone with an interest in making a buck to come along and copy, and produce in numbers. Plus, it won't be out until the end of the year, so I would have time to reconfigure my savings.
Why three carry pistols? First, I like having a backup. Second, there are different situations that call for different types of carry. Beyond all that? If allowed... How about because I can? If I get my permit I plan to carry at all times (when legal to do so). I see it as a civil duty, no less than voting. I see it as a right that should be exercised (or it will be lost). It is seriously doubtful I will ever have to use it. I do avoid bad parts of cities. I do my work in the day (when possible). I avoid trouble and can almost smell it. Even if someone broke into my home, I have doubts I would actually have to shoot, not here. Probably just someone's problem child and I really wouldn't send them a corpse because they have a stupid kid. I might train my gun on someone like that, then merely call the cops whatever else happened (assuming they froze or ran).
Jazzed by the class I guess. I could have gotten a conceal carry in Iowa, I had a permit to buy handguns for four years. There really shouldn't be an issue. Who knows though, Utah is different from Iowa. However this time I will get to the bottom of any problems, and if it is somehow the V.A., I will get people on that. From what I am seeing with my heart doctors, they realize it was a terrible mistake to have listed me as psychiatric. I think they darn well know my problem has simply been heart related. They know the symptomology. It fits. That my heart was simply not explored as a problem is a shame, and embarrassment, even though I was pretty young when it became an issue. Sure, it wasn't them, but it was their field. Anyway, I will get the permit if I can.
I made it.
.
.
On time and actually a bit early. I left early enough to have had breakfast somewhere. And, probably could have had breakfast. However, wanting to look the place over before having to be there, and not sure about how long of a trip it would be, I went by the place first. There wasn't a place to stop and eat, that I saw. I did drive to the next town over. They didn't have a restaurant either. So, back to the shop and a short wait.
The class was mostly for newbies. Which was fine, I sort of expected that. However, there were bits of information that were very important. For one thing, and the most important thing, was what "empty" means regarding sidearms. For an auto, it means a full magazine, in place, just no bullet in the tube. Okay, now this is far different from what empty meant in Iowa. Empty meant no bullets within reasonable reach and no magazine near any bullets or the gun. Yeah. So, you can open carry with a live mag just no bullet chambered. And, yes, I can live with that. For revolvers it means two open chambers, one the hammer rests upon and the next one in the cycle. That was critical, to my way of thinking.
Now, remember, most of these people are civilians. They are non-combatants. They have never fired, nor even been trained to fire, in anything like a real full on combat situation. Further, even if they believe in gun ownership, many are still squeamish about guns, and more importantly about using them. So... I did feel out of place. And, no, I'm not gun happy or gun crazy. No, I wouldn't shoot first and ask questions later. Merely, I am as comfortable with guns as I am with water or driving (more than driving actually) or going to Church (in theory). I would not have a problem killing, either. I would prefer not to, for a number of reasons. But left with little choice and only a moment to choose, I would choose my or another life (of mine) over some stranger or aggressor. And I already know it wouldn't bug me if it went down rightly.
Now, on the other hand, I don't have a passel of kids and a wife to consider. I can be much more cavalier about having a full on loaded pistol anywhere in my house, unlocked and in the open. I don't have people around me who are terrified of guns. My mother, perhaps, but then again I don't toy with my guns around her (or, even when she isn't around). I don't have anything to worry about, including myself. I don't have weird thoughts of suicide or homicide. Such things don't plague me. I am very emotionally stable, and have become even more so through personal gun ownership. A new owner has to make a concentrated effort to figure it all out. The Navy figured it out for me, to a degree, with my allowance of course. And I have figured much out since. Still, it was good to see four women in the group. Though it sounded like none of them would regularly carry (the ones who spoke). Then again, they all seemed nervous about their children (who do like to crawl all over mommy during snuggle time) finding or discharging the gun. I suppose they would save carrying for trips, specific need, etc. Fair enough. And, it's sort of a non-feminine thing.
Anyway, I have the stuff to take in. I believe I have an appointment very soon. I won't, of course, need to take my gun. Couldn't as I can't have my pistol at the V.A. I totally disagree with that. Perhaps with a proper president, and since the psychiatric portion is in a separate building, we might be allowed to have our rights honoered "on federal grounds". Think about that. Just... think about that for a second? Really? We can't have permitted concealed weapons... ON FEDERAL GROUNDS? Really? How insane is that? Never mind.
It is merely by luck that I was able to be awake and there, on time. I seem to make medical appointments, but that edema really caught hold of my attention and the medicines have worked a bit (when I don't tinker or miss out). The rest of life is very difficult to manage. A hook in my nose would work, but then someone would be having to deal with blood rage at some point. A fish net would be of no good use to someone who pulled me in with a fish hook. I am grateful to have made it! Oh, the guy sells guns, sort of. He more or less hooks up those who can legally own guns as a side, nearly profitless, business. So, yeah. I will give him my business if it all works out. I like supporting such types.
.
On time and actually a bit early. I left early enough to have had breakfast somewhere. And, probably could have had breakfast. However, wanting to look the place over before having to be there, and not sure about how long of a trip it would be, I went by the place first. There wasn't a place to stop and eat, that I saw. I did drive to the next town over. They didn't have a restaurant either. So, back to the shop and a short wait.
The class was mostly for newbies. Which was fine, I sort of expected that. However, there were bits of information that were very important. For one thing, and the most important thing, was what "empty" means regarding sidearms. For an auto, it means a full magazine, in place, just no bullet in the tube. Okay, now this is far different from what empty meant in Iowa. Empty meant no bullets within reasonable reach and no magazine near any bullets or the gun. Yeah. So, you can open carry with a live mag just no bullet chambered. And, yes, I can live with that. For revolvers it means two open chambers, one the hammer rests upon and the next one in the cycle. That was critical, to my way of thinking.
Now, remember, most of these people are civilians. They are non-combatants. They have never fired, nor even been trained to fire, in anything like a real full on combat situation. Further, even if they believe in gun ownership, many are still squeamish about guns, and more importantly about using them. So... I did feel out of place. And, no, I'm not gun happy or gun crazy. No, I wouldn't shoot first and ask questions later. Merely, I am as comfortable with guns as I am with water or driving (more than driving actually) or going to Church (in theory). I would not have a problem killing, either. I would prefer not to, for a number of reasons. But left with little choice and only a moment to choose, I would choose my or another life (of mine) over some stranger or aggressor. And I already know it wouldn't bug me if it went down rightly.
Now, on the other hand, I don't have a passel of kids and a wife to consider. I can be much more cavalier about having a full on loaded pistol anywhere in my house, unlocked and in the open. I don't have people around me who are terrified of guns. My mother, perhaps, but then again I don't toy with my guns around her (or, even when she isn't around). I don't have anything to worry about, including myself. I don't have weird thoughts of suicide or homicide. Such things don't plague me. I am very emotionally stable, and have become even more so through personal gun ownership. A new owner has to make a concentrated effort to figure it all out. The Navy figured it out for me, to a degree, with my allowance of course. And I have figured much out since. Still, it was good to see four women in the group. Though it sounded like none of them would regularly carry (the ones who spoke). Then again, they all seemed nervous about their children (who do like to crawl all over mommy during snuggle time) finding or discharging the gun. I suppose they would save carrying for trips, specific need, etc. Fair enough. And, it's sort of a non-feminine thing.
Anyway, I have the stuff to take in. I believe I have an appointment very soon. I won't, of course, need to take my gun. Couldn't as I can't have my pistol at the V.A. I totally disagree with that. Perhaps with a proper president, and since the psychiatric portion is in a separate building, we might be allowed to have our rights honoered "on federal grounds". Think about that. Just... think about that for a second? Really? We can't have permitted concealed weapons... ON FEDERAL GROUNDS? Really? How insane is that? Never mind.
It is merely by luck that I was able to be awake and there, on time. I seem to make medical appointments, but that edema really caught hold of my attention and the medicines have worked a bit (when I don't tinker or miss out). The rest of life is very difficult to manage. A hook in my nose would work, but then someone would be having to deal with blood rage at some point. A fish net would be of no good use to someone who pulled me in with a fish hook. I am grateful to have made it! Oh, the guy sells guns, sort of. He more or less hooks up those who can legally own guns as a side, nearly profitless, business. So, yeah. I will give him my business if it all works out. I like supporting such types.
Exciting!
.
.
I don't know if I will end up with my ccp, but I am about try. A shower, shave, and the breakfast somewhere. A small breakfast so I don't get sleepy. Eating a large meal doesn't always cause it, but it can. It depends on the class a bit too.
I keep reading about guys who, faced with a bad situation, learn and become more proactive. They learn martial arts, lift weights, and buy a pistol and then on to other firearms or even other weapons. For me, I have only known the type of life that they suddenly become aware of. Many of them realize they are fodder, game, prey, but didn't for most of their lives.
I think the difference between me and many others is; I realize this is just the way of life, it has probably been this way since the beginning of man. Cain and Able were just the first we know of.; Getting in shape, arming up, learning combat, practicing with firearms... All of it is nice, and I would propose people do that, just not to the exclusion of all else. It will eat you up. Further, those things are wise, but they are far from a guarantee. The best warriors in the world die every day.; And, probably worse, should you become a true warrior, a powerhouse, a weaponized human... you then face the prospect that you will become a threat. Most people live like you used to live. Telling the sheep, who you could quite accidentally kill, and the wolves who are an actual threat, apart, is a whole other game.
If you choose to live a proper life, not partying, not going out late, not being around drunks and drug users, and you choose to live in small conservative communities, your life just became almost perfectly safe (all else being equal). Sure, if the markets melt down, if the Euro collapses, if the dollar dies, yes, then there is something else. But if you are useful and fit your small community, you are probably in the best place you could be. It amazes me how choosing a specific lifestyle, and location, has changed my whole notion of safety. Sure, my neighbors could become dangerous. That is unlikely. If for no other reason that the known is safer than the unknown, my reputation seems to have proceeded me (the generally good and knowledge of past moral issues), and the understanding that, in hard situations, numbers are important. Especially hard-tack numbers. And of course, the notion that I am not a simple man, I might be more than what I seem, even beyond what they suspect or have heard. And of course, the almost certainty that I wouldn't be an easy target.
I guess, for me, it just amazes me that so many people go through life with no clue. By the time I was ten I realized I was on my own and that life was very hard. I knew there were people, singular or in groups, who could, would, and did hurt me. Hard. I also learned how to survive without giving in or out. I learned how to schedule things, how to arrange the politics of a fight, how to negotiate the aftermath, and how to win. I even learned, when it was right, to run. I went through twelve more years of open contact fighting. No rules, no safety net, just knuckles on flesh. Stopping when I became ill. But I have more combat training and experience than most people you will ever meet. I guess I just don't understand most people. They really can't even defend themselves. They really don't know that they may need to defend themselves. They are the ones who are truly dangerous. You don't know what they can or will do, and selling out, giving up, is all they know.
Well, on to my morning. Good day. I suppose I pray that more people wake up to what the world is, where it is going, and begin changing. That's a hard thing, growing up. Not doing so is far worse. Later.
.
I don't know if I will end up with my ccp, but I am about try. A shower, shave, and the breakfast somewhere. A small breakfast so I don't get sleepy. Eating a large meal doesn't always cause it, but it can. It depends on the class a bit too.
I keep reading about guys who, faced with a bad situation, learn and become more proactive. They learn martial arts, lift weights, and buy a pistol and then on to other firearms or even other weapons. For me, I have only known the type of life that they suddenly become aware of. Many of them realize they are fodder, game, prey, but didn't for most of their lives.
I think the difference between me and many others is; I realize this is just the way of life, it has probably been this way since the beginning of man. Cain and Able were just the first we know of.; Getting in shape, arming up, learning combat, practicing with firearms... All of it is nice, and I would propose people do that, just not to the exclusion of all else. It will eat you up. Further, those things are wise, but they are far from a guarantee. The best warriors in the world die every day.; And, probably worse, should you become a true warrior, a powerhouse, a weaponized human... you then face the prospect that you will become a threat. Most people live like you used to live. Telling the sheep, who you could quite accidentally kill, and the wolves who are an actual threat, apart, is a whole other game.
If you choose to live a proper life, not partying, not going out late, not being around drunks and drug users, and you choose to live in small conservative communities, your life just became almost perfectly safe (all else being equal). Sure, if the markets melt down, if the Euro collapses, if the dollar dies, yes, then there is something else. But if you are useful and fit your small community, you are probably in the best place you could be. It amazes me how choosing a specific lifestyle, and location, has changed my whole notion of safety. Sure, my neighbors could become dangerous. That is unlikely. If for no other reason that the known is safer than the unknown, my reputation seems to have proceeded me (the generally good and knowledge of past moral issues), and the understanding that, in hard situations, numbers are important. Especially hard-tack numbers. And of course, the notion that I am not a simple man, I might be more than what I seem, even beyond what they suspect or have heard. And of course, the almost certainty that I wouldn't be an easy target.
I guess, for me, it just amazes me that so many people go through life with no clue. By the time I was ten I realized I was on my own and that life was very hard. I knew there were people, singular or in groups, who could, would, and did hurt me. Hard. I also learned how to survive without giving in or out. I learned how to schedule things, how to arrange the politics of a fight, how to negotiate the aftermath, and how to win. I even learned, when it was right, to run. I went through twelve more years of open contact fighting. No rules, no safety net, just knuckles on flesh. Stopping when I became ill. But I have more combat training and experience than most people you will ever meet. I guess I just don't understand most people. They really can't even defend themselves. They really don't know that they may need to defend themselves. They are the ones who are truly dangerous. You don't know what they can or will do, and selling out, giving up, is all they know.
Well, on to my morning. Good day. I suppose I pray that more people wake up to what the world is, where it is going, and begin changing. That's a hard thing, growing up. Not doing so is far worse. Later.
Oh well.
.
.
I am up in time to go to the class this morning. It's a four hour class. Nothing fancy, just the facts. I will look over the email. I know I am supposed to bring a pen with black (NOT BLUE) ink. I will need to sign a waiver of some sort, which I have read and agree to in mind. My printer isn't working so I can't print and sign ahead of time. Oh, and I need to have $35 on me. I do, but not in change, so I might replace some of the ones I keep on hand for a twenty, in case they can't make change (many people pay with checks or cards these days).
Not much else is going on. I just haven't been able to push through. When I can't use the computer as a crutch to stay awake, and often far too long, then I sleep. Just keeping on medicine and slipping a bit but trying to stay on the feedbag and liquids, is about the sum of things. I'll get to it, soon. Doldrums, that's about the way of it. As I said before though, I am doing better. This, for years at a time, was the high point. This current low was as good as it got. I have to keep that in mind, not let my grip slip, not quit. This IS good. It just isn't as good as it can and will again get.
I suppose, once the medicine is at therapeutic levels, and there for three months or so, we will then check the heart function. No, I am not at max (therapeutic) levels yet. Going up too fast causes my blood pressure to drop far too low and too quickly. Medicine is sort of like walking a tightwire. That is why that messup cost me so dearly (and why I really have to try not to let it happen again). Getting back on the wire, midpoint, is more than a trick (and that is why I am having such problems right now). It is also why I am biting my tongue and just trying to be patient. I have seen what it can do. It is worth the effort, including a bit of waiting, patience.
.
I am up in time to go to the class this morning. It's a four hour class. Nothing fancy, just the facts. I will look over the email. I know I am supposed to bring a pen with black (NOT BLUE) ink. I will need to sign a waiver of some sort, which I have read and agree to in mind. My printer isn't working so I can't print and sign ahead of time. Oh, and I need to have $35 on me. I do, but not in change, so I might replace some of the ones I keep on hand for a twenty, in case they can't make change (many people pay with checks or cards these days).
Not much else is going on. I just haven't been able to push through. When I can't use the computer as a crutch to stay awake, and often far too long, then I sleep. Just keeping on medicine and slipping a bit but trying to stay on the feedbag and liquids, is about the sum of things. I'll get to it, soon. Doldrums, that's about the way of it. As I said before though, I am doing better. This, for years at a time, was the high point. This current low was as good as it got. I have to keep that in mind, not let my grip slip, not quit. This IS good. It just isn't as good as it can and will again get.
I suppose, once the medicine is at therapeutic levels, and there for three months or so, we will then check the heart function. No, I am not at max (therapeutic) levels yet. Going up too fast causes my blood pressure to drop far too low and too quickly. Medicine is sort of like walking a tightwire. That is why that messup cost me so dearly (and why I really have to try not to let it happen again). Getting back on the wire, midpoint, is more than a trick (and that is why I am having such problems right now). It is also why I am biting my tongue and just trying to be patient. I have seen what it can do. It is worth the effort, including a bit of waiting, patience.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Yeah, well...
.
.
Not much happening today. I just can't seem to get going. Medicine was taken, of course. Cats have been fed and watered. If they keeping goofing, they might get planted too! Then again, I am weening them off the canned cat food, I expected restless natives. Sam just stays gone longer and Sassy varies. Sometimes she goes on the attack, sometimes she just curls up and sleeps more. Both beg pretty hard. A can and a half for Sassy and a half a can for Sam, that's it.
I'm just not able to get going. I have something early tomorrow morning, a class for ccp. I don't know if it will go through but I think it has a chance. If there was an identification problem before, fingerprints will clear that up. There is no shooting part to it, which is too bad. Adding in a shooting requirement would open up a number more states for reciprocity. As is, with a ccp from Utah, I can travel to Iowa (and now be in Iowa) acceptably. And while traveling I really like having a pistol or three right there. It helps with vibrancy. Ah-ha! No one ever expects a .45 when trying to rob!
Hmm, I need the fans going. Maybe that will help. Later.
.
Not much happening today. I just can't seem to get going. Medicine was taken, of course. Cats have been fed and watered. If they keeping goofing, they might get planted too! Then again, I am weening them off the canned cat food, I expected restless natives. Sam just stays gone longer and Sassy varies. Sometimes she goes on the attack, sometimes she just curls up and sleeps more. Both beg pretty hard. A can and a half for Sassy and a half a can for Sam, that's it.
I'm just not able to get going. I have something early tomorrow morning, a class for ccp. I don't know if it will go through but I think it has a chance. If there was an identification problem before, fingerprints will clear that up. There is no shooting part to it, which is too bad. Adding in a shooting requirement would open up a number more states for reciprocity. As is, with a ccp from Utah, I can travel to Iowa (and now be in Iowa) acceptably. And while traveling I really like having a pistol or three right there. It helps with vibrancy. Ah-ha! No one ever expects a .45 when trying to rob!
Hmm, I need the fans going. Maybe that will help. Later.
What a storm!
.
.
What rolled through here was nothing short of one of the finest thunderstorms I have seen. It has to rank in the top 40, and I'm a fanboy of hell, rain, lightening, and thunder. I am not sure how long it went on, but it woke me around 23:00 and I think went on another fifteen minutes to half an hour. I wanted to get up, check the windows, and begin my "day", but the lights were out, power down. I used to keep my flashlight by the bed but it has been moved over time. So I had to blindly search the house for anything. The first thing I was sure of was matches in a cupboard in the kitchen.
Actually, I was quite easily able to find my way in there, find the matches, and get some light. Then I remembered I had taken my favored flashlight into the reloading room. Sorry, but I just wasn't going to take a lit match in there. Had to think a moment. Ah, another flashlight in a kitchen drawer! I got that out and flicked it on. What a hunk of junk. It worked but was terrible. It was from a $70 dollar Snap-On flashlight set. I thought the batteries were dieing. Nope, new batteries, same crappy light, and no way to focus. Oh well. I used it to look for my $12 cheapo Guide Gear flashlight. Dang but I love me some cheapo! That thing is absolute light, it is on spot, focused, and has a large beam. It is more powerful than the 4-D flashlight from the Snap-On kit. It fits my hand perfectly, has a butt-plate switch, glass breaking butt round, and makes me proud to once in a while try the cheap stuff.
Anyway, I finally got it all together, checked the windows (the storm was coming in from the South-West I believe, but the rain was pouring in from the North windows, had to close those. There was some serious wind action going on there. The bummer was, in finding everything, checking windows, and finally getting to a point where I might be able to watch the storm, the excitement had pretty much passed. I could hear the thunder though, while doing all my doings. It sounded like the lightening was fingering out. Oh yeah, I do love that. When you see huge flashes coming right in your window, then five or ten seconds later you hear the sound and can still hear the separate fingerlings, you know you've got a light show going on. Maybe some time I will get to see that. I absolutely love watching that.
Anyway, with nothing on, moving, or doing, I just went back to bed. I woke at 3:00, lights were back on, so I got up. Now, to figure out what to do. I'm still just not up to snuff. Pushing doesn't help. For me, the thing is to stay on my medicines, to eat, to hydrate properly, and to do whatever it is I can do. So, that is what I will do, am doing. Medicines down the hatch, including the oft forgotten potassium, a shower, and maybe the bike today when the sun comes up. The deliveryman hadn't delivered the stove when I went to sleep yesterday (sometime after 15:00, or he snuck in and didn't ring). I was sitting right near the door and didn't hear a thing (and I hear well and am always listening intently). But I have noticed deliverymen have become extremely "efficient" lately. My guess is companies are laying off, the slow(er) first. It is now cutthroat for them? Yeah, probably. Odd thing is, with the storm coming from the South-West... and rain (deluge type) beating in through an overhang on the North side, the boxes on the South side were... dry? Weird as heck.
(Woke at 3:00)
.
What rolled through here was nothing short of one of the finest thunderstorms I have seen. It has to rank in the top 40, and I'm a fanboy of hell, rain, lightening, and thunder. I am not sure how long it went on, but it woke me around 23:00 and I think went on another fifteen minutes to half an hour. I wanted to get up, check the windows, and begin my "day", but the lights were out, power down. I used to keep my flashlight by the bed but it has been moved over time. So I had to blindly search the house for anything. The first thing I was sure of was matches in a cupboard in the kitchen.
Actually, I was quite easily able to find my way in there, find the matches, and get some light. Then I remembered I had taken my favored flashlight into the reloading room. Sorry, but I just wasn't going to take a lit match in there. Had to think a moment. Ah, another flashlight in a kitchen drawer! I got that out and flicked it on. What a hunk of junk. It worked but was terrible. It was from a $70 dollar Snap-On flashlight set. I thought the batteries were dieing. Nope, new batteries, same crappy light, and no way to focus. Oh well. I used it to look for my $12 cheapo Guide Gear flashlight. Dang but I love me some cheapo! That thing is absolute light, it is on spot, focused, and has a large beam. It is more powerful than the 4-D flashlight from the Snap-On kit. It fits my hand perfectly, has a butt-plate switch, glass breaking butt round, and makes me proud to once in a while try the cheap stuff.
Anyway, I finally got it all together, checked the windows (the storm was coming in from the South-West I believe, but the rain was pouring in from the North windows, had to close those. There was some serious wind action going on there. The bummer was, in finding everything, checking windows, and finally getting to a point where I might be able to watch the storm, the excitement had pretty much passed. I could hear the thunder though, while doing all my doings. It sounded like the lightening was fingering out. Oh yeah, I do love that. When you see huge flashes coming right in your window, then five or ten seconds later you hear the sound and can still hear the separate fingerlings, you know you've got a light show going on. Maybe some time I will get to see that. I absolutely love watching that.
Anyway, with nothing on, moving, or doing, I just went back to bed. I woke at 3:00, lights were back on, so I got up. Now, to figure out what to do. I'm still just not up to snuff. Pushing doesn't help. For me, the thing is to stay on my medicines, to eat, to hydrate properly, and to do whatever it is I can do. So, that is what I will do, am doing. Medicines down the hatch, including the oft forgotten potassium, a shower, and maybe the bike today when the sun comes up. The deliveryman hadn't delivered the stove when I went to sleep yesterday (sometime after 15:00, or he snuck in and didn't ring). I was sitting right near the door and didn't hear a thing (and I hear well and am always listening intently). But I have noticed deliverymen have become extremely "efficient" lately. My guess is companies are laying off, the slow(er) first. It is now cutthroat for them? Yeah, probably. Odd thing is, with the storm coming from the South-West... and rain (deluge type) beating in through an overhang on the North side, the boxes on the South side were... dry? Weird as heck.
(Woke at 3:00)
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Long days indeed.
.
.
I knew this would be part of getting back on 'the wagon'. That medicinal malfunction messed things up pretty good, along with the extra fluid retention. It will take, as I said, another week or two to get things back to function. Knowing what the problem is does not make fixing it any faster. What knowing does is keeps me focused on staying on track. Even though I now realize there probably is no getting back to full health. Even if I can get my heart to pump normal amounts, which is improbable, figuring out life after 20 years and change of living a certain way is going to be another thing. And, being 20 years and change older adds to the mix of uncertainty.
Of course I don't really worry. I am used to living on a day to day, do what I can, take it as it comes methodology. There is always some hope that I could find my way through, say to college and a job. Maybe more. For the first time in two decades I at least know what my bogyman is. I have biometric parameters I can check which do line up with lack of function. I do see improvements, if more slowly than what I like, when these things are tended. I have doctors who are earning my trust.
My days are getting very long. The cool weather is probably helping keep the thing under wraps though. A 36 hour day is not unusual. The trick I have to keep in mind is continuing to take my medicines. When your day starts one morning and ends the afternoon of the next day, it becomes a little uncomfortable knowing when to take medicine. More so when that stretch feels normal, easy, typical, somehow. I am not sure how long I am sleeping, I simply have just been going to sleep when needed and waking at some point, usually feeling rested and comfortable. Perhaps now that I am doing better I can begin tracking that. It had been useless to play with it just recently.
I just write stuff here as a distraction, as a hobby, to clear thoughts, set goals, interact, and perhaps keep my writing and logic skills, slim as they are, up to some standards. Even if the internet is proving unreliable as a solid source of easy information, it is proving to be a bit of a lifeline and social forum. I can take that. Thanks Al. Ha!
Have a great day. Maybe I will get to the bike today. No, I didn't get to it. Yes, yes, I said I would. No, I won't... Get... get off my back! :p But have a good day anywhile.
.
I knew this would be part of getting back on 'the wagon'. That medicinal malfunction messed things up pretty good, along with the extra fluid retention. It will take, as I said, another week or two to get things back to function. Knowing what the problem is does not make fixing it any faster. What knowing does is keeps me focused on staying on track. Even though I now realize there probably is no getting back to full health. Even if I can get my heart to pump normal amounts, which is improbable, figuring out life after 20 years and change of living a certain way is going to be another thing. And, being 20 years and change older adds to the mix of uncertainty.
Of course I don't really worry. I am used to living on a day to day, do what I can, take it as it comes methodology. There is always some hope that I could find my way through, say to college and a job. Maybe more. For the first time in two decades I at least know what my bogyman is. I have biometric parameters I can check which do line up with lack of function. I do see improvements, if more slowly than what I like, when these things are tended. I have doctors who are earning my trust.
My days are getting very long. The cool weather is probably helping keep the thing under wraps though. A 36 hour day is not unusual. The trick I have to keep in mind is continuing to take my medicines. When your day starts one morning and ends the afternoon of the next day, it becomes a little uncomfortable knowing when to take medicine. More so when that stretch feels normal, easy, typical, somehow. I am not sure how long I am sleeping, I simply have just been going to sleep when needed and waking at some point, usually feeling rested and comfortable. Perhaps now that I am doing better I can begin tracking that. It had been useless to play with it just recently.
I just write stuff here as a distraction, as a hobby, to clear thoughts, set goals, interact, and perhaps keep my writing and logic skills, slim as they are, up to some standards. Even if the internet is proving unreliable as a solid source of easy information, it is proving to be a bit of a lifeline and social forum. I can take that. Thanks Al. Ha!
Have a great day. Maybe I will get to the bike today. No, I didn't get to it. Yes, yes, I said I would. No, I won't... Get... get off my back! :p But have a good day anywhile.
Odd things, but...
.
.
I keep thinking about the kitchen. What to do, how to get it done, costs. A kitchen is a huge project. If well designed, a kitchen is an amazing place. The heat needed for cooking is kept tamed, the air flow needed to cool or maintain heat is readily available, the floors and walls are safe, there is space for cooking and baking goods and consumables, there is plenty of easy access space for preparing food, and cleanup is simple and easy access. Designed poorly and the place is unsafe, uncomfortable, unsatisfactory, unpleasant, and any or all of those and more. My kitchen, plain and simple, is a nuisance. I have a huge space and yet no place to work at all. Beside making the kitchen useable, improvements would add value to the house as a whole.
Something else I keep looking at, wood fired cooking stoves, and this stove. They seem to indicate these can work as house heaters, too. But I am dubious about that. I love the looks of the second one, but the function of the first one a lot more. Oh, I remember my foster mother tending this to cook and bake when we were in the mountains, at their cabin. We also had a standard fireplace there. She had one like the prettier one, if not quite as fancy. She made it seem simple, but it wasn't. Adding wood at just the right time and adjusting vents to maintain a specific temp. Starting the fire then waiting while it heated. Cleaning out the dust was messy, if she made even that look easy. She had talent, though by the time I knew her she had nearly 20 years of (albeit just summer) practice with the contraption. A family uses 8 to 12 cords of wood a year (in the northern climbs). A cord, in Utah, if I saw correctly, goes for around $125, plus delivery. Or, a permit to collect is $7.50 a cord with a minimum of 4 cords per permit. That, of course, would require the tools to take lumber and the capacity to haul it. Ugh, never ending. There is another downside. You always smell like a smoker. Maybe things have improved, but I am doubting it. My first year up there I still smoked, yes, only a 7th grader, hushit. I could always find cigarettes, just... followed my nose and kept my eyes open, if pilfering was needed. Up there they never could tell I had been smoking.
I don't know, just something on my mind. Actually, if I was to do that, I would also consider a smaller but regular wood heater in the living room. I still haven't investigated the old fireplace here. Even if it isn't up to specs, it would probably still do just fine with an insert. An insert would be a lot more fuel efficient, too. The thing is, until I decide I can even afford to break into the drywall to check about the fireplace, I can't know if an insert will work. It depends on which way the fireplace opening is facing. The thing is, with all that, we are talking about $6k to $10k, just in purchase price. Taxes, delivery, installation, alterations... extra. Yeah. But it is on the backburner for when I win the lottery! Maybe I ought to start playing? Ha, one of the other good things about Utah? No lottery. It's an honest state. (And, no, I would not play the lotto even if it were here, nor should you. Even if you aren't into the whole morality thing, perhaps you should be into the whole math and economic thing? Doh!)
Some things to consider when considering updating my kitchen. Going forward is not always going... well... forward. You can keep your stainless appliances. You can keep your electric. You can keep dainty materials that won't hold up to an ogre chef. But that doesn't mean it will be cheap, either. Trading in flash for good quality means solid materials and workmanship, things that are more at a premium than ever.
Oh, sounds like my outside wood/coal oven and water pasteurizer are here. The delivery company called and asked for my physical address. That disappoints me a bit. The problem ordering, as I came to figure out, was that the address section would not take both of my addresses for my credit card to work. At first, when doing it, it looked like both were required, but only one was really needed. Taking a break from it allowed me to see the missing detail when I returned to try again. So, I took off my physical address. I noticed they had a place for "extra instructions". So, I wrote a brief simple note indicating that, should they not be using USPS (should I have spelled it out?), that they send it to my physical address, which I supplied. Well, no real bother unless I hadn't happened to be awake to receive the call. Remember now, for most of my twenty years of illness, when I happened to be awake, I was almost exclusively awake in the afternoons or even more so at night. Bah!
Hmm, come to think of it, that is quite a change. As recently as two years ago, I was almost always only awake at night. I still sometimes go through that, but it isn't the usual. Just... noticing things I guess. Oh, on the good side with the wood stove consideration... Since I am planning to upgrade the kitchen, I could add in special insulation so that I could have the stove more flush with the walls. Hmm, I keep thinking on it all.
Later.
.
I keep thinking about the kitchen. What to do, how to get it done, costs. A kitchen is a huge project. If well designed, a kitchen is an amazing place. The heat needed for cooking is kept tamed, the air flow needed to cool or maintain heat is readily available, the floors and walls are safe, there is space for cooking and baking goods and consumables, there is plenty of easy access space for preparing food, and cleanup is simple and easy access. Designed poorly and the place is unsafe, uncomfortable, unsatisfactory, unpleasant, and any or all of those and more. My kitchen, plain and simple, is a nuisance. I have a huge space and yet no place to work at all. Beside making the kitchen useable, improvements would add value to the house as a whole.
Something else I keep looking at, wood fired cooking stoves, and this stove. They seem to indicate these can work as house heaters, too. But I am dubious about that. I love the looks of the second one, but the function of the first one a lot more. Oh, I remember my foster mother tending this to cook and bake when we were in the mountains, at their cabin. We also had a standard fireplace there. She had one like the prettier one, if not quite as fancy. She made it seem simple, but it wasn't. Adding wood at just the right time and adjusting vents to maintain a specific temp. Starting the fire then waiting while it heated. Cleaning out the dust was messy, if she made even that look easy. She had talent, though by the time I knew her she had nearly 20 years of (albeit just summer) practice with the contraption. A family uses 8 to 12 cords of wood a year (in the northern climbs). A cord, in Utah, if I saw correctly, goes for around $125, plus delivery. Or, a permit to collect is $7.50 a cord with a minimum of 4 cords per permit. That, of course, would require the tools to take lumber and the capacity to haul it. Ugh, never ending. There is another downside. You always smell like a smoker. Maybe things have improved, but I am doubting it. My first year up there I still smoked, yes, only a 7th grader, hushit. I could always find cigarettes, just... followed my nose and kept my eyes open, if pilfering was needed. Up there they never could tell I had been smoking.
I don't know, just something on my mind. Actually, if I was to do that, I would also consider a smaller but regular wood heater in the living room. I still haven't investigated the old fireplace here. Even if it isn't up to specs, it would probably still do just fine with an insert. An insert would be a lot more fuel efficient, too. The thing is, until I decide I can even afford to break into the drywall to check about the fireplace, I can't know if an insert will work. It depends on which way the fireplace opening is facing. The thing is, with all that, we are talking about $6k to $10k, just in purchase price. Taxes, delivery, installation, alterations... extra. Yeah. But it is on the backburner for when I win the lottery! Maybe I ought to start playing? Ha, one of the other good things about Utah? No lottery. It's an honest state. (And, no, I would not play the lotto even if it were here, nor should you. Even if you aren't into the whole morality thing, perhaps you should be into the whole math and economic thing? Doh!)
Some things to consider when considering updating my kitchen. Going forward is not always going... well... forward. You can keep your stainless appliances. You can keep your electric. You can keep dainty materials that won't hold up to an ogre chef. But that doesn't mean it will be cheap, either. Trading in flash for good quality means solid materials and workmanship, things that are more at a premium than ever.
Oh, sounds like my outside wood/coal oven and water pasteurizer are here. The delivery company called and asked for my physical address. That disappoints me a bit. The problem ordering, as I came to figure out, was that the address section would not take both of my addresses for my credit card to work. At first, when doing it, it looked like both were required, but only one was really needed. Taking a break from it allowed me to see the missing detail when I returned to try again. So, I took off my physical address. I noticed they had a place for "extra instructions". So, I wrote a brief simple note indicating that, should they not be using USPS (should I have spelled it out?), that they send it to my physical address, which I supplied. Well, no real bother unless I hadn't happened to be awake to receive the call. Remember now, for most of my twenty years of illness, when I happened to be awake, I was almost exclusively awake in the afternoons or even more so at night. Bah!
Hmm, come to think of it, that is quite a change. As recently as two years ago, I was almost always only awake at night. I still sometimes go through that, but it isn't the usual. Just... noticing things I guess. Oh, on the good side with the wood stove consideration... Since I am planning to upgrade the kitchen, I could add in special insulation so that I could have the stove more flush with the walls. Hmm, I keep thinking on it all.
Later.
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