Another day.

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My friend called, and has left me with a quandary in a request. Something about being an adult and using ones best instincts. Is it fair? No. Do I understand? Yes. Do you like or love someone, and once answered, how do you move forward with that? No, never mind. Just understand that I have to do what I don't want to do to do what I must if I can use some politics, or diplomacy, regarding it. If a man wants to hang himself, he shouldn't ask his friends to tie the rope. That's all I am saying. His friends might, those who merely like him (if it's just business). Yeah, I have a plan.

The map is ready. I might be able to pick that up today. I am not sure if I should ask to meet her later right there and then or wait a day. Basically I will have to explore while we chat. Everything is... timing... when it comes to dealing with a woman. She wants, hopes, and expects. She also fears, doubts, distrusts perhaps. A woman is often set to "No!", which means, "Hurry up, fool!". Reading the lines, checking for the best time to ask, using skill, being brave without being stupid. Bold is good, but if it is faux don't do it. Not if it feels fake, more if it really is. To be honest, I have always felt like a bit of a fraud when dealing with women. For good reason.

A lot of my experience introducing and getting to know a woman has been forced, fake, weird, like scenes from cheesy movies. I used to think there might be better. Then I realized the only reason I have to meet a woman I don't yet know at all is for the very reason their mother's warn them against men. And their only reason, until they know me, to go forward with a proposal is to make sure it happens. All give or take, with caveats, and mostly. It isn't personal. The bottom line is it is about sex whether either of us want to admit it, even in a relationship I don't plan to let go that far. It is about physical attraction. So, yeah, it is going to be cheesy. Maybe more so with my near surety that I don't even intend to do more than associate, flirt, and have her as company from time to time. Actually, perhaps more so since there is nothing but a physical attraction with no intent to act on it. A lie in a lie even if I tell the truth, which being a woman she wouldn't believe anyway. The deal is to make it as smooth as possible, as on point and away from the realities regarding the final seeming goal. Keep the proposal in the moment and clean of anything future, any promise, or anything other than the surety of coffee and talk, or maybe negotiating the details of some possible mutually accepted event.

No matter how many women I have met, it is always a weird thing though. And it has been a while since I interviewed a woman. Once attraction is noted, it becomes an interview. Her for a captain she can believe in, me for a first mate who I think can do what my long view would require. And of course, all with an eye to what type of crew might be preferred. Just... thoughts.

It sure makes me wonder about what I am doing. Then again, if I ever knew that I wouldn't be able to ever do anything. Or, something like that. If you really already knew, what would be the point, in long and real and over views? Well, that is not true. We may not know, but like I said above regarding meeting women, we already know or have intent, it is just so internalized, automated, understood, that we never dig into the why consciously, often. The plain truth seems like a smack or a jab, when we finally uncover it openly. Never... mind.

I'll play it by ear. Go with my gut instinct. I might even let you know, later. Or not. For now, piss off. I am not going to corner myself. :p