.
.
I made it to lunch, if just barely. Being rather warm all through the night, and for whatever reason never quite cooling overnight, I didn't get back to bed until 7:30. I have been napping and sleeping a good deal though, so with a little effort I was able to push through the grim veil and hard grip of the death slumber. I couldn't get a shave in, but I did shower and otherwise appoint myself properly for public access.
Pizza was good. At $34, before tip, $42 after, I think it came out well. We even each had our own meals, not a shared pizza as I had first thought. And, we talked. This time without our various bibles or books, for the most part. While I am not quite an apologist, I know more than your average barn animal, and quite often more than your average weekly Church-goer. Many of which seem to think going to Church negates their need to know anything about it. Albeit, I have time. Many people, honestly, have little time and less energy when the world is through having them earn their keep and feed. Rich or poor, the world drags what it can out of you. In my case, it merely took it out of me like a lump sum tax for life or something.
We talked about many issues. One of the young men asked me point blank what my problem with the Mormon faith is. And the three which stick in my craw the most, if not the strongest for the case by some standards I suppose, is the meeting of God and Jesus by their originator. While my near death experience might really have been mere oxygen deprivation, I don't personally believe that (given to that I also don't put a lot of weight in personal beliefs, not even mine). Everything is 'on balance'. On balance, I do believe I was there, possibly purgatory, perhaps just a place for souls who have prematurely left the body, perhaps awaiting judgment. What I do know is that the next thing that was going to happen, soon or late, was that I was going to see God. I also knew that when that happened, even as a bodiless soul, I was never going to be the same. Just being there changed me. I absolutely believe that to look upon the face of God would destroy unperfected flesh. One might as well wander into the sun. I might even say a human has a better chance of dancing on the face of the sun naked than seeing the face of God and living, by infinite orders of magnitudes of ease.
Another thing was that no non-Mormon ever saw the golden tablets. Hitler sent people after the arc, the spear of destiny, and other artifacts. He never sent, nor even considered looking for, the golden tablets. I simply cannot believe that such relics would be lost. And, while I have heard of people being taken up to be with God, I have never heard of him ever taking physical objects to heaven. He has no need of such things. As well, though I didn't mention this, I know some of the witnesses have recanted, re-witnessed, and went back and forth on the issue. I did not see this with the disciples, save when Christ prophesied. Or did He make it happen? No, no, He didn't. God won't lead us to sin, and I have to think denying your Lord and Savior would be a sin. I think He merely forgave them, in advance, so that they would not then lead a life of shame and be bound by the sin He knew they would commit. Yes, something like that.
The final problem I discussed was the fact that I could not believe that God would build the Church and then let it disappear for two thousand years. Christ went into Sheol (or Hades) to bring out the souls of those prophets and holy people who had died waiting for Christ. He did not go into Gehenna, however, to bring out the souls of the damned. When Christ did that, he did it once and for all. When he comes again, He will not die again to bring even more out of Sheol. Sheol is no more. He, when Jesus comes again, will come as the conqueror. Or at least not all in formal hell were brought out, of course. (Though I tend to think these were different places, for why would the holy suffer with the unrepentant while awaiting the prophesied Christ?
They had asked me about prophecy, and I told them that we (and I) believe Christ was the last prophet, as well as sacrifice, to come. They asked how I believed God could leave the Church to find it's own way. I suggested that the Holy Spirit remains. Though too, if I forgot to mention it as such conversations only have just so much room, and move so fluidly, the body and blood, together with the soul and divinity of Christ in the Eucharist also remains, and actually enters us and lives through us, aside from His own real presence at the Eucharist. My question to them was, if God saw the need for a prophet to yet lead, why would He let His Church disappear for two thousand years? Or even a few hundred, or whatever the number they give?
It was an interesting conversation. I do have, and will have more, questions. As do they. They, much like me, seem to be looking. They know their way, and to a degree, I know mine. It isn't contentious, to my knowledge or for my part. I was happy to know what bits I do and compare apples. Could I be wrong? Sure. Actually, I am positive I am wrong. On what I cannot be certain. We simply don't know it all, none of us. And, happily, heaven isn't based on academic understandings of exact passages and dogmas. It isn't based on the memorization of passages. These might be works, if carried out in a holy and faithful way, but they are not the keys.
What I look for in my search, my understandings, my reading, is the origins of the word dogma. It seems, through spirit, The Holy Spirit, logic, and such... to be right. That is as good as I can do for that part. Then to follow through with my faith. I AM a little man. I AM mortal. I AM wrong. Too, I am beloved and forgiven. Christ suggested, to love your God with all your heart, soul, and mind and to love your neighbor as you love yourself. Others have suggested so much as that one IS the other for all intents and purposes. I'm... working on it. But He also suggested through Him, to the Father, and thus heaven. No other way is there.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
It really is the little things.
.
.
The trip to town was a success. As simple as that seems, for the last few days, driving, and then getting out of my vehicle, walking through a store, then putting groceries away once I returned home would have been more than I could take. Dizziness, weakness, feverishness, and other things came and went. It seems like such a little thing, until you can't do it. Not only am I feeling good, doing those little things never once gave me a hiccup. Driving, walking, decision making, loading the vehicle, unloading, not even putting it all away. And I tossed a meal in there as well. I just put the milk and other cold needing items in the fridge or freezer fast, then ate before putting the rest of it away. That is a trick I have rarely been able to do in the past, something about once I was seated, getting up and going again wasn't possible. Life is getting better.
On the way home, long after the sun set, on the flashing signs, I did notice that it was still 81 F. I am seriously suspicious that heat played somewhat of a large role in my incapacity. The days should be shortening and it is cooling much more at night, if not until later. And, for whatever reason, I seem to be tolerating the heat better. If there is any way I can get central air, I think I will go for it. It is cheaper than window units, which would be even more ridiculous in this home due to how it is set up. And, actually, I am suspicious that it might actually be cheaper than fans running 24 hours a day, big fans, all day.
Tomorrow I have a lunch with the Mormon elders who visit. Pizza it is. Usually I prefer to make a steak and potato dinner, tossing in a salad if that has usually only been used as decoration. When I serve steak, it is at least a pound and comes with a big potato, butter, sour cream, and whole milk. Vegetables of any sort seem... sickly... beside such a feast. There is a time for vegetables, but if I have the option it wouldn't be meal time. :p But since I haven't been able to keep my home up, I decided to take them out. Actually, pizza might be cheaper, if that isn't truly the idea, or even something I thought about until just now. Steak is anywhere from $5 to $10 a pound. On average, three steaks would be $22.50, then potatoes and cream, add in a half gallon of milk (or more), and the salad greens (even if just for decoration) and you are looking at $30 to $40 (which isn't bad for a three steak meal, truly good potatoes, and a proper mixed green salad, mind you). My favored steak restaurants run that for one meal, or more, and often before tax, tip, or gas to get there. I prefer offering home cooking, I just am not up to it currently.
Ah well. Hmm, those books should be in. I've been dragging out the book I am reading until they arrive. The great thing is I can more study the book than feel like I am being rushed through it. I look things up, from people he discusses, businesses of his day, words and phrases that aren't exactly in common usage today, and I try to angle what he is saying rather than just reading words. Then again, I may continue this method of reading. It slows things down terribly, as after I have an understanding of something(s), I want to reread the passage so as to get the full picture of what I think he is or is really trying to say. His writing is dense with notions, allusions, characterizations, and such and I realize that missing a drop of it is like leaving a little bit of gold in a gold mine just sitting around. Both are worth the bother of a little more work.
Good night.
.
The trip to town was a success. As simple as that seems, for the last few days, driving, and then getting out of my vehicle, walking through a store, then putting groceries away once I returned home would have been more than I could take. Dizziness, weakness, feverishness, and other things came and went. It seems like such a little thing, until you can't do it. Not only am I feeling good, doing those little things never once gave me a hiccup. Driving, walking, decision making, loading the vehicle, unloading, not even putting it all away. And I tossed a meal in there as well. I just put the milk and other cold needing items in the fridge or freezer fast, then ate before putting the rest of it away. That is a trick I have rarely been able to do in the past, something about once I was seated, getting up and going again wasn't possible. Life is getting better.
On the way home, long after the sun set, on the flashing signs, I did notice that it was still 81 F. I am seriously suspicious that heat played somewhat of a large role in my incapacity. The days should be shortening and it is cooling much more at night, if not until later. And, for whatever reason, I seem to be tolerating the heat better. If there is any way I can get central air, I think I will go for it. It is cheaper than window units, which would be even more ridiculous in this home due to how it is set up. And, actually, I am suspicious that it might actually be cheaper than fans running 24 hours a day, big fans, all day.
Tomorrow I have a lunch with the Mormon elders who visit. Pizza it is. Usually I prefer to make a steak and potato dinner, tossing in a salad if that has usually only been used as decoration. When I serve steak, it is at least a pound and comes with a big potato, butter, sour cream, and whole milk. Vegetables of any sort seem... sickly... beside such a feast. There is a time for vegetables, but if I have the option it wouldn't be meal time. :p But since I haven't been able to keep my home up, I decided to take them out. Actually, pizza might be cheaper, if that isn't truly the idea, or even something I thought about until just now. Steak is anywhere from $5 to $10 a pound. On average, three steaks would be $22.50, then potatoes and cream, add in a half gallon of milk (or more), and the salad greens (even if just for decoration) and you are looking at $30 to $40 (which isn't bad for a three steak meal, truly good potatoes, and a proper mixed green salad, mind you). My favored steak restaurants run that for one meal, or more, and often before tax, tip, or gas to get there. I prefer offering home cooking, I just am not up to it currently.
Ah well. Hmm, those books should be in. I've been dragging out the book I am reading until they arrive. The great thing is I can more study the book than feel like I am being rushed through it. I look things up, from people he discusses, businesses of his day, words and phrases that aren't exactly in common usage today, and I try to angle what he is saying rather than just reading words. Then again, I may continue this method of reading. It slows things down terribly, as after I have an understanding of something(s), I want to reread the passage so as to get the full picture of what I think he is or is really trying to say. His writing is dense with notions, allusions, characterizations, and such and I realize that missing a drop of it is like leaving a little bit of gold in a gold mine just sitting around. Both are worth the bother of a little more work.
Good night.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Ah ha!
.
.
I was still having problems with the bank site. After tinkering around trying to figure out whether it was No-Script, FireFox, or Microsoft (or some combination) that was making it so the long-in window was inaccessible, I finally found a workaround. The problem is, the page saying the site was untrusted was shoved into a tiny window and I had no means of resizing to tell the machine to unblock it! ARGHHHhhhhH! Finally, after tinkering with the mouse buttons as if in a first person shooter, I noticed one of the lines suggest something about opening the window in a new tab. Hmm, couldn't hurt, right? Probably. Who knew? So, *click* and... there she was... permission rights. I granted those and on into my bank account I went.
Well, it does look like I just spent a lot this month. I looked over things and, yep, there was that. Oh, and this. And... my! I spent like a drunk sailor this month. But too, plane tickets were on there. I suspect, with my mother showing up next month, I will be broke and more again. If I thought I was bad, throw a woman into the mix and I might end up down $10k somehow. Yeah, women know how to do that, then they look at us like we are stupid or something. hehehe Got to admit, that is classic.
I then went to my other account, put just enough for groceries on the debit side. I have enough in coin and small bills to smooth over my mother's visit. It's going to be a squeaker though. One of the things I am hoping to do while she is here is replace the ground floor spare bedroom window (and I might try to do that before she gets here, if I can figure it all out) and then there is the two day stop in SLC. Rooms close enough start at around $180 for two nights. So, money money money and she isn't even here yet! But that's okay. I actually wish I had a little more, and some to send her home with. Hmm, she knows that will be her room should she ever decide to split time between my brother and my house, at least until she could find a little place of her own. She has thought about us two working on the thing, changing the window out that is. But I am not seeing that. Buying windows as a non-contractor cost almost as much as simply having a window installed. *sigh*
I may run into town and do some shopping. I am not only hungry, I am darned hungry. Plus a bit of food on the way back. So be it. Oh, if you think you are into logic, social understanding, finances, and are more or less on the traditional or conservative or libertarian side of things, I cannot suggest enough that you read "What's Wrong With the World" by G.H. Chesterton. He'll clobber you when you don't even see it coming and open up whole new vistas through which to watch the world burn. And don't think you will get off light, if he is rather gentle about his psychic punishments.
I best get going if I want to get good groceries. Good night, or... later most likely. Those naps are throwing things off a bit. Bleh.
.
I was still having problems with the bank site. After tinkering around trying to figure out whether it was No-Script, FireFox, or Microsoft (or some combination) that was making it so the long-in window was inaccessible, I finally found a workaround. The problem is, the page saying the site was untrusted was shoved into a tiny window and I had no means of resizing to tell the machine to unblock it! ARGHHHhhhhH! Finally, after tinkering with the mouse buttons as if in a first person shooter, I noticed one of the lines suggest something about opening the window in a new tab. Hmm, couldn't hurt, right? Probably. Who knew? So, *click* and... there she was... permission rights. I granted those and on into my bank account I went.
Well, it does look like I just spent a lot this month. I looked over things and, yep, there was that. Oh, and this. And... my! I spent like a drunk sailor this month. But too, plane tickets were on there. I suspect, with my mother showing up next month, I will be broke and more again. If I thought I was bad, throw a woman into the mix and I might end up down $10k somehow. Yeah, women know how to do that, then they look at us like we are stupid or something. hehehe Got to admit, that is classic.
I then went to my other account, put just enough for groceries on the debit side. I have enough in coin and small bills to smooth over my mother's visit. It's going to be a squeaker though. One of the things I am hoping to do while she is here is replace the ground floor spare bedroom window (and I might try to do that before she gets here, if I can figure it all out) and then there is the two day stop in SLC. Rooms close enough start at around $180 for two nights. So, money money money and she isn't even here yet! But that's okay. I actually wish I had a little more, and some to send her home with. Hmm, she knows that will be her room should she ever decide to split time between my brother and my house, at least until she could find a little place of her own. She has thought about us two working on the thing, changing the window out that is. But I am not seeing that. Buying windows as a non-contractor cost almost as much as simply having a window installed. *sigh*
I may run into town and do some shopping. I am not only hungry, I am darned hungry. Plus a bit of food on the way back. So be it. Oh, if you think you are into logic, social understanding, finances, and are more or less on the traditional or conservative or libertarian side of things, I cannot suggest enough that you read "What's Wrong With the World" by G.H. Chesterton. He'll clobber you when you don't even see it coming and open up whole new vistas through which to watch the world burn. And don't think you will get off light, if he is rather gentle about his psychic punishments.
I best get going if I want to get good groceries. Good night, or... later most likely. Those naps are throwing things off a bit. Bleh.
Nap time?
.
.
Yes, always. Lots of naps. On the good side I am feeling much better. Whether my problem was doing too much too fast, the medicine change, heat, or some combination of all of those, I seem to be over the physical discomfort part of it. Now to get back on the 'bike and ride', literally and figuratively. Well, or hike. Hiking was my goal this week, or put in Doom terms, in my next exercise cycle. I will probably begin next week. Two or three hikes, with the pack and a hat. I will take one jug of water but I will also be taking my water purifier and testing it on river water. Oh, trust me, I will know if it is working. I had a goulash gullet from drinking unfiltered river water when I fell in while white water rafting for several weeks. Never did get diarrhea or any of that other stuff though, just a sore throat, as if it had been burned.
It doesn't help to be very broke, though, either. I am not sure how I lost track of finances so quickly. There was the gas to SLC, the books, some tools, but I can't remember anything excessive. These would be normal play money things. Without access to online banking, which I need to remember to check shortly and see if it works now, it is difficult to know where I am tossing money down what holes. Of course, any time my bank seems to make it difficult for me to check my account, I wonder what they might be up to. No, I don't trust banks. Beside the number of little bankers who would steal if they got half a chance are the big bankers who would manipulate accounts. They have gambled fortunes away. They are in trouble, both as individuals and as institutions. Trust not the seemingly wealthy beggar. He'll kill you a lot faster than the obviously poor one will.
Chesterton does have some quite interesting notions regarding feminism, suffrage as he usually terms it. But never you mind, he also notes men's failings as well. And, yes, it's still a gas. Neither of the sex is terribly admirable, either in his or my eyes. However, there is a reason for tradition. There is a reason things are the way they are. And he explains, quite well, why men are on the losing end of this war. Something I don't think he realizes is that men are now fighting a two pronged war. The traditional battle against apron strings and the call of women's whiles and the surrendered women, who finally agree that men were right all along so much so that they wish to join us. On any occasion, a man can never know which of those two anarchists he is presented with, or whether both are present. Women speak so mildly as to not even be able to give up 'their hand' as it were, even while being unable to maintain a poker face or attitude. Bah! Not that I don't love the game in any case.
Hmm, more reading, another nap, some checking on finances, a longer sleep, then maybe something tomorrow. Oh, wait, I have promised pizza to 'the boys' tomorrow. Oh, I have a few dollars and this and that floating around. I can do that, and probably get a bit of groceries purchased, plus another tank of gas and the haircut. But it is just... so tight. I hate months like this. Later.
.
Yes, always. Lots of naps. On the good side I am feeling much better. Whether my problem was doing too much too fast, the medicine change, heat, or some combination of all of those, I seem to be over the physical discomfort part of it. Now to get back on the 'bike and ride', literally and figuratively. Well, or hike. Hiking was my goal this week, or put in Doom terms, in my next exercise cycle. I will probably begin next week. Two or three hikes, with the pack and a hat. I will take one jug of water but I will also be taking my water purifier and testing it on river water. Oh, trust me, I will know if it is working. I had a goulash gullet from drinking unfiltered river water when I fell in while white water rafting for several weeks. Never did get diarrhea or any of that other stuff though, just a sore throat, as if it had been burned.
It doesn't help to be very broke, though, either. I am not sure how I lost track of finances so quickly. There was the gas to SLC, the books, some tools, but I can't remember anything excessive. These would be normal play money things. Without access to online banking, which I need to remember to check shortly and see if it works now, it is difficult to know where I am tossing money down what holes. Of course, any time my bank seems to make it difficult for me to check my account, I wonder what they might be up to. No, I don't trust banks. Beside the number of little bankers who would steal if they got half a chance are the big bankers who would manipulate accounts. They have gambled fortunes away. They are in trouble, both as individuals and as institutions. Trust not the seemingly wealthy beggar. He'll kill you a lot faster than the obviously poor one will.
Chesterton does have some quite interesting notions regarding feminism, suffrage as he usually terms it. But never you mind, he also notes men's failings as well. And, yes, it's still a gas. Neither of the sex is terribly admirable, either in his or my eyes. However, there is a reason for tradition. There is a reason things are the way they are. And he explains, quite well, why men are on the losing end of this war. Something I don't think he realizes is that men are now fighting a two pronged war. The traditional battle against apron strings and the call of women's whiles and the surrendered women, who finally agree that men were right all along so much so that they wish to join us. On any occasion, a man can never know which of those two anarchists he is presented with, or whether both are present. Women speak so mildly as to not even be able to give up 'their hand' as it were, even while being unable to maintain a poker face or attitude. Bah! Not that I don't love the game in any case.
Hmm, more reading, another nap, some checking on finances, a longer sleep, then maybe something tomorrow. Oh, wait, I have promised pizza to 'the boys' tomorrow. Oh, I have a few dollars and this and that floating around. I can do that, and probably get a bit of groceries purchased, plus another tank of gas and the haircut. But it is just... so tight. I hate months like this. Later.
Why are women so very mean?
.
.
Even my bestest girlfriend ever, the second or third woman I proposed to, the nicest of the lot, would sneak up on me in the middle of bliss and try to kick me in the teeth. Well, I must say, with her, it was usually rightly though she would pick something that had nothing to do with anything. Actually, she usually picked something that didn't really hurt. I don't know if she was just rather more passive and timid than most women, slightly retarded (though when it comes to war women usually are, no offense, though some are good at this kind), or what. Still, she almost seemed to really kind of try. Most girlfriends and women I have known all have a flicker response sometimes. But as angry as women get, nothing is worse than the coldness they can suffocate you with. But women have found that I think 90% of their tears are fake (yes, even some of the "real tears" are still fake somehow). Being angry is exciting, heck, I even like it when they are cold because quite often they "don't want to talk to you". As long as you set the parameter at no throwing things and no hitting (spanking works here), then just enjoy the ride.
Can women get to me? Yes, but rather rarely. My last, since she technically rented the space first, and is a woman, would threaten to have me removed (in spite of asking me not to move). She did this enough, and as exhausted as I usually am it was a terrifying prospect. Finally, one day, under my own steam, I did move (to her utter horror and sadness). When I was finally able to get out I did. I just couldn't have that prospect hanging over my head, even after I figured out how to shush her about it. Now, I did get her to stop jabbering about forcing me out though. I suggested, due to my illness, and that she was abusive (not really, but she doesn't know crap), that I should have her moved out. She was the FRIENDLIEST pussy cat I have ever had, for about a week. Well, she did have a longer attention span than I do. Whatever. But you should have seen the look on her face when my suggestion sunk in. Oh, weened on a dill pickle indeed.
I don't play nice or fair with girls. I will elevate it, I will "Run away, run away!", I will sidetrack, I will use sex, I will do whatever works for me at the time, just like fighting. And, usually, women can't get me down. And, no, I don't mind if they try. I think the only time they can really get to me is when I am honestly wrong. So, after a lot of mistakes, I started trying to keep it right. Now, too, there is a difference between not getting the trash out on time and sleeping with all her friends, sisters, mother, and the neighbor-ladies. And since I have done both (well, no mothers), my guilt for the former isn't all that great. But it IS there.
I actually enjoy, if I have the time to deal with it, the hassles that women present. As a now bachelor, though I really would love to have a woman around, I am okay with not having it too. I suppose I am just a happy man. But I look fondly back on the good old days. My last, one of those I was true to, was one of my favorites, usually. Until she found my Achilles Heal and before I found out it was her's too. She was like playing with a hungry kitty. All teeth and claws and demand but no logic, balance, or such. While there was sometimes emotional blood, there was no foul. This last time I saw her, I think I opened her eyes. While we were "fighting", I suggested that not only did I enjoy our contentiousness, I cherished them. I had noticed she was near tears and thought to offer her some technique. I suggested she not take it personally and just enjoy it as if she was playing tug of war with a pet. Her grimace sort of left, and she looked up at me with wondering eyes. I just said, "Really really". I don't think she can, she likes the pain, most women do. But... I think she had a moment of understanding, then buried it as deeply as she could. heh (No sympathy here.)
Weird dreams of late, by the way. One was sort of like a cross between The Hills Have Eyes, a little milder and community based. I bought a house and moved into the area. The house was like a minor fortress. One group in particular was a gluttonous, sexually exciting and repulsive at the same somehow, group of vagabond beggars, thieves, and potentially killers. Before I knew who they were I had let them in. I offered food, as is my want, and realized what kind of trouble they were. The women were very wanton, but too would use that to any who might partake's great disadvantage as well as their own pleasure. I let them finish but offered no more nor did I accept any of their forward women, I saw trouble. I finally had to more or less verbally kick them out. I then locked everything up (imagine bars on the windows, a heavy gate (at the entrance and inside the home), and thick walls of heavy stone, like a keep or some monasteries, and then heard weird begging to be let in, which I just ignored for I knew there was no reason to let them back in and many reasons not to let them in.
Later, I was talking to the sheriff about the guy who used to own my 'new' old home. He was suggesting the guy was standoffish, paranoid about the locals, and disparaging him a goodly bit. So, I asked him if the old man/former owner was correct in his assessments. The sheriff just looked at me oddly and wouldn't speak. So I said, "In the name of Jesus Christ, was the old man correct". He tried not to speak but finally hissed a "Yes". I can't really remember where it went from there, but I did fine. I am pretty sure I didn't end up dead, having to kill anyone, or forced move (or flee) either. I sort of became the new "old man" and guardian for those in need. It was a creepy dream though. I loved it. Other dreams have been coming and going. Powerful seeming dreams. Nothing quite as elaborate, one involving my brother and myself becoming friends again. Which is great, I can't remember my dreams since... some time back. I enjoy dreams, just for entertainment, save a few dreams. But I haven't remembered those in... years now, or many months anyway.
I am not at all sure what to do today. It seems I am much more broke than what I had thought. Oh well. And I am still not quite up to par, if I am feeling a bit better. I am seriously thinking this time the problem has to do with the medicine. It is getting up there in dosage and it is beginning to do what all medicines have done before. I may have to just find a way to push on through, to push hard, and to do whatever right over having seemingly nothing with which to use as leverage. I think. My pulse being in the 60's is what tells me it is the pills. I am glad I took it slow when I hit that wall though. Every time I hit something like that, now that I know what the real problem is, I am going to have to back down just a bit and really consciously fully assess the issue. I am not sure how I am going to fight through this, but... never you mind, I will do as I may, as usual.
The nights are now dropping into the 50's. The days are staying hot, but that isn't as much trouble when the nights cool off well enough and I can trap more cool in my home. Sleep is easier to come by, as well, when just a few open windows and fans can make the world deliciously cool again. The summer, however, is coming to a close and I have some things I really want done to do! And, my mother is coming soon. The life of the turtle must be one of patience and finding satisfaction as things are, not how they could be. Having the mind of the rabbit and the body of a turtle is when the frustration sets in. Even if the turtle eventually wins, the hare moves fast when it moves!
Good day.
.
Even my bestest girlfriend ever, the second or third woman I proposed to, the nicest of the lot, would sneak up on me in the middle of bliss and try to kick me in the teeth. Well, I must say, with her, it was usually rightly though she would pick something that had nothing to do with anything. Actually, she usually picked something that didn't really hurt. I don't know if she was just rather more passive and timid than most women, slightly retarded (though when it comes to war women usually are, no offense, though some are good at this kind), or what. Still, she almost seemed to really kind of try. Most girlfriends and women I have known all have a flicker response sometimes. But as angry as women get, nothing is worse than the coldness they can suffocate you with. But women have found that I think 90% of their tears are fake (yes, even some of the "real tears" are still fake somehow). Being angry is exciting, heck, I even like it when they are cold because quite often they "don't want to talk to you". As long as you set the parameter at no throwing things and no hitting (spanking works here), then just enjoy the ride.
Can women get to me? Yes, but rather rarely. My last, since she technically rented the space first, and is a woman, would threaten to have me removed (in spite of asking me not to move). She did this enough, and as exhausted as I usually am it was a terrifying prospect. Finally, one day, under my own steam, I did move (to her utter horror and sadness). When I was finally able to get out I did. I just couldn't have that prospect hanging over my head, even after I figured out how to shush her about it. Now, I did get her to stop jabbering about forcing me out though. I suggested, due to my illness, and that she was abusive (not really, but she doesn't know crap), that I should have her moved out. She was the FRIENDLIEST pussy cat I have ever had, for about a week. Well, she did have a longer attention span than I do. Whatever. But you should have seen the look on her face when my suggestion sunk in. Oh, weened on a dill pickle indeed.
I don't play nice or fair with girls. I will elevate it, I will "Run away, run away!", I will sidetrack, I will use sex, I will do whatever works for me at the time, just like fighting. And, usually, women can't get me down. And, no, I don't mind if they try. I think the only time they can really get to me is when I am honestly wrong. So, after a lot of mistakes, I started trying to keep it right. Now, too, there is a difference between not getting the trash out on time and sleeping with all her friends, sisters, mother, and the neighbor-ladies. And since I have done both (well, no mothers), my guilt for the former isn't all that great. But it IS there.
I actually enjoy, if I have the time to deal with it, the hassles that women present. As a now bachelor, though I really would love to have a woman around, I am okay with not having it too. I suppose I am just a happy man. But I look fondly back on the good old days. My last, one of those I was true to, was one of my favorites, usually. Until she found my Achilles Heal and before I found out it was her's too. She was like playing with a hungry kitty. All teeth and claws and demand but no logic, balance, or such. While there was sometimes emotional blood, there was no foul. This last time I saw her, I think I opened her eyes. While we were "fighting", I suggested that not only did I enjoy our contentiousness, I cherished them. I had noticed she was near tears and thought to offer her some technique. I suggested she not take it personally and just enjoy it as if she was playing tug of war with a pet. Her grimace sort of left, and she looked up at me with wondering eyes. I just said, "Really really". I don't think she can, she likes the pain, most women do. But... I think she had a moment of understanding, then buried it as deeply as she could. heh (No sympathy here.)
Weird dreams of late, by the way. One was sort of like a cross between The Hills Have Eyes, a little milder and community based. I bought a house and moved into the area. The house was like a minor fortress. One group in particular was a gluttonous, sexually exciting and repulsive at the same somehow, group of vagabond beggars, thieves, and potentially killers. Before I knew who they were I had let them in. I offered food, as is my want, and realized what kind of trouble they were. The women were very wanton, but too would use that to any who might partake's great disadvantage as well as their own pleasure. I let them finish but offered no more nor did I accept any of their forward women, I saw trouble. I finally had to more or less verbally kick them out. I then locked everything up (imagine bars on the windows, a heavy gate (at the entrance and inside the home), and thick walls of heavy stone, like a keep or some monasteries, and then heard weird begging to be let in, which I just ignored for I knew there was no reason to let them back in and many reasons not to let them in.
Later, I was talking to the sheriff about the guy who used to own my 'new' old home. He was suggesting the guy was standoffish, paranoid about the locals, and disparaging him a goodly bit. So, I asked him if the old man/former owner was correct in his assessments. The sheriff just looked at me oddly and wouldn't speak. So I said, "In the name of Jesus Christ, was the old man correct". He tried not to speak but finally hissed a "Yes". I can't really remember where it went from there, but I did fine. I am pretty sure I didn't end up dead, having to kill anyone, or forced move (or flee) either. I sort of became the new "old man" and guardian for those in need. It was a creepy dream though. I loved it. Other dreams have been coming and going. Powerful seeming dreams. Nothing quite as elaborate, one involving my brother and myself becoming friends again. Which is great, I can't remember my dreams since... some time back. I enjoy dreams, just for entertainment, save a few dreams. But I haven't remembered those in... years now, or many months anyway.
I am not at all sure what to do today. It seems I am much more broke than what I had thought. Oh well. And I am still not quite up to par, if I am feeling a bit better. I am seriously thinking this time the problem has to do with the medicine. It is getting up there in dosage and it is beginning to do what all medicines have done before. I may have to just find a way to push on through, to push hard, and to do whatever right over having seemingly nothing with which to use as leverage. I think. My pulse being in the 60's is what tells me it is the pills. I am glad I took it slow when I hit that wall though. Every time I hit something like that, now that I know what the real problem is, I am going to have to back down just a bit and really consciously fully assess the issue. I am not sure how I am going to fight through this, but... never you mind, I will do as I may, as usual.
The nights are now dropping into the 50's. The days are staying hot, but that isn't as much trouble when the nights cool off well enough and I can trap more cool in my home. Sleep is easier to come by, as well, when just a few open windows and fans can make the world deliciously cool again. The summer, however, is coming to a close and I have some things I really want done to do! And, my mother is coming soon. The life of the turtle must be one of patience and finding satisfaction as things are, not how they could be. Having the mind of the rabbit and the body of a turtle is when the frustration sets in. Even if the turtle eventually wins, the hare moves fast when it moves!
Good day.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
My bad.
.
.
The medicine was in the mailbox. And I had made a mistake. These weren't of the two a day variety, so the 7 pills would have lasted me a week. On the other hand, they only arrived on the very day I would have been out. If you have ever been on heavy medicines, only to even think you are about to run out, the mind plays tricks. I won't say panic sets in, I will say fear comes into play. Three weeks of absolute do nothing downtime is a terrifying prospect, especially since there are things that really need to be done and soon. All good though, until the next time they double my medicine and don't update the prescription and get me some right away. This is the second time in, what, two months? Last time I took the blame but it ended up not being my fault. There is only so much I can do and just so fast.
I did get one of the propane tanks filled. The other still has some gas. But after checking my bank account, I wanted to check all of my money first before shopping further. It seems I am lower than what I had thought. I might have to pull a bit from my savings to get enough food for the rest of the month. I suppose I have been so busy, in some ways, that I haven't been paying attention. That and not having access to my online banking anymore, for whatever reason. I am going to check that again tonight. If it doesn't work tonight I will need to get into town and change some things right there at the bank.
I did have enough to buy a meal for the bother of the trip. Nothing fancy but satisfying. Since I have no other food at home at the moment. The hunger doesn't bother me too much, I just don't like the notion. Eating a bunch of very small meals a day has been good to me. Those packages of salami that I like, I thought that eating a half a packaging was being a pig, so I usually eat about a third of a package, and a similar amount of cheese. I looked closely at a package the other day. The whole package is only four ounces. Small meals to be sure.
Well, not sure what is going to happen tonight. I finally got around to filling my medicine-set (which holds two weeks worth) and then taking today's 'morning' medicine. I will take the 'night' portion of my medicine before going to sleep. If there is still problems, I may cut my medicine just a bit, half a tablet every other day out of the usual two tablets a day, for a week. Perhaps I am just on too much too fast. I am not sure what else to do. I was feeling better until taking 'morning' medicine.
Good night, for those of you going on to sleep.
.
The medicine was in the mailbox. And I had made a mistake. These weren't of the two a day variety, so the 7 pills would have lasted me a week. On the other hand, they only arrived on the very day I would have been out. If you have ever been on heavy medicines, only to even think you are about to run out, the mind plays tricks. I won't say panic sets in, I will say fear comes into play. Three weeks of absolute do nothing downtime is a terrifying prospect, especially since there are things that really need to be done and soon. All good though, until the next time they double my medicine and don't update the prescription and get me some right away. This is the second time in, what, two months? Last time I took the blame but it ended up not being my fault. There is only so much I can do and just so fast.
I did get one of the propane tanks filled. The other still has some gas. But after checking my bank account, I wanted to check all of my money first before shopping further. It seems I am lower than what I had thought. I might have to pull a bit from my savings to get enough food for the rest of the month. I suppose I have been so busy, in some ways, that I haven't been paying attention. That and not having access to my online banking anymore, for whatever reason. I am going to check that again tonight. If it doesn't work tonight I will need to get into town and change some things right there at the bank.
I did have enough to buy a meal for the bother of the trip. Nothing fancy but satisfying. Since I have no other food at home at the moment. The hunger doesn't bother me too much, I just don't like the notion. Eating a bunch of very small meals a day has been good to me. Those packages of salami that I like, I thought that eating a half a packaging was being a pig, so I usually eat about a third of a package, and a similar amount of cheese. I looked closely at a package the other day. The whole package is only four ounces. Small meals to be sure.
Well, not sure what is going to happen tonight. I finally got around to filling my medicine-set (which holds two weeks worth) and then taking today's 'morning' medicine. I will take the 'night' portion of my medicine before going to sleep. If there is still problems, I may cut my medicine just a bit, half a tablet every other day out of the usual two tablets a day, for a week. Perhaps I am just on too much too fast. I am not sure what else to do. I was feeling better until taking 'morning' medicine.
Good night, for those of you going on to sleep.
Feeling better.
.
.
But then I haven't taken my medicine yet either, because I just got in a shower, because even though I am feeling better I am not moving much faster. I am sort of waiting until it cools a bit before heading out anyway. I didn't feeling like bumbling around in near 100 F degree weather. I doubt if the medicine will be in and I still haven't decided what to do about medicine, either way. The safest and surest bet, if the new medicine is not in, is to cut at least that medicine to half. Something is far better than nothing for even a few days and I can't afford the travel to pick up even more medicine, again. They will, if I can stick to it, get an earful tomorrow. I have heard some medicines are becoming extremely difficult to come by. But if that is an issue, it isn't worth the health risk of ending up dry. Dropping off those medicines cold turkey is harsh indeed, and more than likely possibly lethal.
I might want to push things a bit though, as I would like to check on my account balance, fill a tank of propane, and then do some shopping too. Yeah, it's more than what I really feel like doing. But I NEED food, hot, cooked meat to be precise. But with the heat and dirty dishes, cooking inside is not possible. And before I do any shopping, I best know what kind of resources I am looking at. Money always gets a little tight toward the end of the month. I have... a little set aside and more going into it each month now, but that is for something critical, a flat tire, a tow, or in case I see the collapse in time to yank and spend on last minute items. Perhaps even a main battle or solid hunting rifle.
About the main battle rifle? I must admit, my point up to this time has been to try to find the best cheap rifle for that. The problem, of course, is cheap often means broken or unreliable. So I finally just went down to brass knobs and looked at the available rifles which I thought would be worth having and what others considered fine arms. The Fn Fal seems to be the one that shakes out of that tree. And, I have priced them. I could pick a brand new one up for just under $1,400, before taxes. While not optimal, pricewise, if I save an extra hundred a month for nine months I could find the rest of the money elsewhere. While not optimal, for a number of reasons beside cost, it is at least a plan.
Oh, as for building one from a kit? While you can get a kit relatively inexpensively, the tools to construct the kit come to over $1k by themselves. Assuming I could find a complete kit for $400, and thought I could actually do head spacing and everything else correctly, sure. A thought. Not really a good plan. I did look for and find a Fn-Fal kit-build breakdown (three actually). Not quite within my price or skill level.
I am not sure, however, where that fits in with other guns on my list, yet. I will simply have to consider things along the way. Some of the guns I could take out of spending money, so long as I wish to live on bologna style levels for a month (which I would do for a compact Springfield 9mm). The .357 would require a month and a half of frugal dining. However, a solid hunting rifle might well be in the range of the Fn Fal. I could, technically, use the Fn Fal as a short range hunting rifle, unless I spent more and worked it up a bit. But it isn't optimal for that. Oh, and it doesn't come with iron sights or anything. I am not sure how accurate the rifle is either. I hear moderate to high, sometimes even exceptional, but what does that really mean for a main battle rifle? Still, that is probably my pick, if I can save in time, if it is still available. Then I have to consider ammo for it. Several thousand rounds and components for another several thousand would be good to have on hand. Extra magazines, several parts and spring kits. And of course, right off the top, some sort of sights for it, iron would be fine for basics and to start. It adds up fast.
I suppose, now that I am dry from the shower, I ought to head out and see what is what. Have a great day.
.
But then I haven't taken my medicine yet either, because I just got in a shower, because even though I am feeling better I am not moving much faster. I am sort of waiting until it cools a bit before heading out anyway. I didn't feeling like bumbling around in near 100 F degree weather. I doubt if the medicine will be in and I still haven't decided what to do about medicine, either way. The safest and surest bet, if the new medicine is not in, is to cut at least that medicine to half. Something is far better than nothing for even a few days and I can't afford the travel to pick up even more medicine, again. They will, if I can stick to it, get an earful tomorrow. I have heard some medicines are becoming extremely difficult to come by. But if that is an issue, it isn't worth the health risk of ending up dry. Dropping off those medicines cold turkey is harsh indeed, and more than likely possibly lethal.
I might want to push things a bit though, as I would like to check on my account balance, fill a tank of propane, and then do some shopping too. Yeah, it's more than what I really feel like doing. But I NEED food, hot, cooked meat to be precise. But with the heat and dirty dishes, cooking inside is not possible. And before I do any shopping, I best know what kind of resources I am looking at. Money always gets a little tight toward the end of the month. I have... a little set aside and more going into it each month now, but that is for something critical, a flat tire, a tow, or in case I see the collapse in time to yank and spend on last minute items. Perhaps even a main battle or solid hunting rifle.
About the main battle rifle? I must admit, my point up to this time has been to try to find the best cheap rifle for that. The problem, of course, is cheap often means broken or unreliable. So I finally just went down to brass knobs and looked at the available rifles which I thought would be worth having and what others considered fine arms. The Fn Fal seems to be the one that shakes out of that tree. And, I have priced them. I could pick a brand new one up for just under $1,400, before taxes. While not optimal, pricewise, if I save an extra hundred a month for nine months I could find the rest of the money elsewhere. While not optimal, for a number of reasons beside cost, it is at least a plan.
Oh, as for building one from a kit? While you can get a kit relatively inexpensively, the tools to construct the kit come to over $1k by themselves. Assuming I could find a complete kit for $400, and thought I could actually do head spacing and everything else correctly, sure. A thought. Not really a good plan. I did look for and find a Fn-Fal kit-build breakdown (three actually). Not quite within my price or skill level.
I am not sure, however, where that fits in with other guns on my list, yet. I will simply have to consider things along the way. Some of the guns I could take out of spending money, so long as I wish to live on bologna style levels for a month (which I would do for a compact Springfield 9mm). The .357 would require a month and a half of frugal dining. However, a solid hunting rifle might well be in the range of the Fn Fal. I could, technically, use the Fn Fal as a short range hunting rifle, unless I spent more and worked it up a bit. But it isn't optimal for that. Oh, and it doesn't come with iron sights or anything. I am not sure how accurate the rifle is either. I hear moderate to high, sometimes even exceptional, but what does that really mean for a main battle rifle? Still, that is probably my pick, if I can save in time, if it is still available. Then I have to consider ammo for it. Several thousand rounds and components for another several thousand would be good to have on hand. Extra magazines, several parts and spring kits. And of course, right off the top, some sort of sights for it, iron would be fine for basics and to start. It adds up fast.
I suppose, now that I am dry from the shower, I ought to head out and see what is what. Have a great day.
Kick me in the teeth?
.
.
Still feeling weird. Then again, thinking about things, I realized the problem may not be the heat nor pushing things. We just doubled the main medicine. Those, as they say, are quite potent. I've been on relatively low doses, not even therapeutic doses to be honest, until now. Even then I am probably just now hitting the minimum therapeutic doses for the two main pills. It may be gearing my heart down, seriously slowing it so that I feel thumps and bumps and have a difficult time getting the blood I am used to. Somehow my body had ramped things up so that I was able to enjoy a short period of 'the good life'. The party might be over. The problem is, if so, I will continue to push but this is new ice I am askating and I simply don't know it or the limits yet. I can't be sure, but that is what I am suspecting.
Oh, my trip to SLC was a fraud. Oh, no, I made it there. I did pick up a week's supply of medicine. But the pharmacist was wrong. He gave me two and a half days of medicine. For $50 in gas, I can't afford that kind of thing. I am seriously thinking. If my medicine isn't in today, I have two choices. I can cut my doses in half and hope that it lasts (at half doses it will last the full week). Or, I can cut to half doses, on everything, and back out of this medicine trap. If they can't keep me supplied, I can't keep going through this half dosing, parsing words with worm tongues, and going through feeling like shit for nearly a month at a time as I am forced to drop then rebuild blood levels of this goo. Son of a...
I best get dressed, check on the mail, and head into town for some grocery shopping if I can keep it together long enough to even do that.
Auf Wiederschrieben
.
Still feeling weird. Then again, thinking about things, I realized the problem may not be the heat nor pushing things. We just doubled the main medicine. Those, as they say, are quite potent. I've been on relatively low doses, not even therapeutic doses to be honest, until now. Even then I am probably just now hitting the minimum therapeutic doses for the two main pills. It may be gearing my heart down, seriously slowing it so that I feel thumps and bumps and have a difficult time getting the blood I am used to. Somehow my body had ramped things up so that I was able to enjoy a short period of 'the good life'. The party might be over. The problem is, if so, I will continue to push but this is new ice I am askating and I simply don't know it or the limits yet. I can't be sure, but that is what I am suspecting.
Oh, my trip to SLC was a fraud. Oh, no, I made it there. I did pick up a week's supply of medicine. But the pharmacist was wrong. He gave me two and a half days of medicine. For $50 in gas, I can't afford that kind of thing. I am seriously thinking. If my medicine isn't in today, I have two choices. I can cut my doses in half and hope that it lasts (at half doses it will last the full week). Or, I can cut to half doses, on everything, and back out of this medicine trap. If they can't keep me supplied, I can't keep going through this half dosing, parsing words with worm tongues, and going through feeling like shit for nearly a month at a time as I am forced to drop then rebuild blood levels of this goo. Son of a...
I best get dressed, check on the mail, and head into town for some grocery shopping if I can keep it together long enough to even do that.
Auf Wiederschrieben
Who knows?
.
.
I really didn't end up wanting to go into town. Something is just screwy tonight. I started to feel feverish again, and just ill. It is rather flu-like, whatever is going on. I tried to go back to sleep. First I realized I might not have taken my afternoon medicines. I hadn't. Then I thought I heard one of the cats wanting in, though that turned out to be untrue. But since I got up for those things, and while I was still up, I started thinking about at least driving into town for a meal.
I haven't eaten a meal since Sunday with my friend. I have nothing really left on hand. I thought maybe food was the problem, or even not having had caffeine in a bit. Into town I went, though I decided against shopping. I am a bit weak on my legs, it stresses my heart a bit, I think, at the moment. I got my meal and just finished it. I don't think it helped a bit, but it was good to put something warm and filling in my belly anyway. Sometimes I feel like I am being squeezed. Not really hard, just enough to be uncomfortable. And the fever coming and going. Well, actually, not a fever. I took my temp, normal. Would you call it sweats, then? I don't know. It seems to come in occasional waves of feverishness, which greatly adds to my weakness.
It has been a while since I felt this bad. It does concern me. Then again, and truly, I think this happened fairly frequently before I started taking medicine. I may have been pushing things a bit too much or it might just come and goes as the illness dictates, I just don't know. And to be honest, I don't think anyone honestly knows for certain. Most research, what little there is, is based on some medication, not on the fundamentals. I have even wondered, with diabetes going with heart failure often, if the body doesn't crave diabetes to offset some things. Where the body cannot pump enough blood, for example, perhaps diabetes provides extra heat. I was always very hot bodied when diabetes was in play, this in spite of decades of too little blood being pumped to my extremities. No, I am not saying this as an absolute, only a possibility. Like I said, I doubt if the people who are experts know (or possibly even dare ask). What if it turned out that diabetes helps people live longer with a bad ticker? How would they market that?
Oh well. I will try to get back to sleep in a bit. I don't have many alternatives. I can't stay focused, I can't do anything physical. I might read a bit though. Chesterton makes some very interesting points. It amazes me that he is writing about today's problems better than any modern writer I have yet seen. There are some entanglements reading him, of course. His allusions to authors and people of his day, sometimes footnoted, but often without much real detail. Without a personal understanding of these people it can be difficult to fully comprehend all that is written. Imagine speaking of Bill Gates, Robert Shapiro, or even Ozzy Osborne today then having someone read that in a hundred years or so. They simply wouldn't get the full context. Even his primary nemesis, arch-nemesis even, though known to me to some small degree, George Bernard Shaw, is mostly lost to me. Something about being familiar of some of the works but not really of the philosophy behind the works. By the way, they were friends. Chesterton, it is said, was actually a rather approachable fellow.
Well, discomfort is mild, just enough to make sleep light and wakefulness uncomfortable. I will do what I can. Good night.
.
I really didn't end up wanting to go into town. Something is just screwy tonight. I started to feel feverish again, and just ill. It is rather flu-like, whatever is going on. I tried to go back to sleep. First I realized I might not have taken my afternoon medicines. I hadn't. Then I thought I heard one of the cats wanting in, though that turned out to be untrue. But since I got up for those things, and while I was still up, I started thinking about at least driving into town for a meal.
I haven't eaten a meal since Sunday with my friend. I have nothing really left on hand. I thought maybe food was the problem, or even not having had caffeine in a bit. Into town I went, though I decided against shopping. I am a bit weak on my legs, it stresses my heart a bit, I think, at the moment. I got my meal and just finished it. I don't think it helped a bit, but it was good to put something warm and filling in my belly anyway. Sometimes I feel like I am being squeezed. Not really hard, just enough to be uncomfortable. And the fever coming and going. Well, actually, not a fever. I took my temp, normal. Would you call it sweats, then? I don't know. It seems to come in occasional waves of feverishness, which greatly adds to my weakness.
It has been a while since I felt this bad. It does concern me. Then again, and truly, I think this happened fairly frequently before I started taking medicine. I may have been pushing things a bit too much or it might just come and goes as the illness dictates, I just don't know. And to be honest, I don't think anyone honestly knows for certain. Most research, what little there is, is based on some medication, not on the fundamentals. I have even wondered, with diabetes going with heart failure often, if the body doesn't crave diabetes to offset some things. Where the body cannot pump enough blood, for example, perhaps diabetes provides extra heat. I was always very hot bodied when diabetes was in play, this in spite of decades of too little blood being pumped to my extremities. No, I am not saying this as an absolute, only a possibility. Like I said, I doubt if the people who are experts know (or possibly even dare ask). What if it turned out that diabetes helps people live longer with a bad ticker? How would they market that?
Oh well. I will try to get back to sleep in a bit. I don't have many alternatives. I can't stay focused, I can't do anything physical. I might read a bit though. Chesterton makes some very interesting points. It amazes me that he is writing about today's problems better than any modern writer I have yet seen. There are some entanglements reading him, of course. His allusions to authors and people of his day, sometimes footnoted, but often without much real detail. Without a personal understanding of these people it can be difficult to fully comprehend all that is written. Imagine speaking of Bill Gates, Robert Shapiro, or even Ozzy Osborne today then having someone read that in a hundred years or so. They simply wouldn't get the full context. Even his primary nemesis, arch-nemesis even, though known to me to some small degree, George Bernard Shaw, is mostly lost to me. Something about being familiar of some of the works but not really of the philosophy behind the works. By the way, they were friends. Chesterton, it is said, was actually a rather approachable fellow.
Well, discomfort is mild, just enough to make sleep light and wakefulness uncomfortable. I will do what I can. Good night.
Monday, August 22, 2011
More sleep.
.
.
A few hours after that last post I simply started sliding into unconsciousness. I couldn't stop it, sway it, alter it, and feeling as crumby as I did, I really didn't want to mess with it. Back to bed I went. I can't remember what time I went back to bed, or even when I got up exactly. I woke sometime after 21:00 but before 22:00, I think, I'm pretty sure? Remember that feverishness I have spoken of in the past? Yeah, that was present. So was nausea, exhaustion, and all the rest of my old haunts. I do feel a bit better, but it is cooler too. Was it just heat? I really don't know. But I do remember going through this stuff before. Oh bother, I can handle a few days of it. It's not like I live in it anymore.
I may head into town and do just a bit of shopping. Being low on food is not fun. I would love to eat just a few bites before going in, but everything I have is sort of oddball. Ah well, I'll dig through this and that, here and there. I figure I will also grab a meal on my way home. Just a bite will do for now, and keep that buying frenzy edge off when I go to the store, well, those and put some gas in the gas tank.
Yes, definitely, I do feel a bit better. Later, or maybe even goodnight, again. I may still need more sleep, especially after a trip to town.
.
A few hours after that last post I simply started sliding into unconsciousness. I couldn't stop it, sway it, alter it, and feeling as crumby as I did, I really didn't want to mess with it. Back to bed I went. I can't remember what time I went back to bed, or even when I got up exactly. I woke sometime after 21:00 but before 22:00, I think, I'm pretty sure? Remember that feverishness I have spoken of in the past? Yeah, that was present. So was nausea, exhaustion, and all the rest of my old haunts. I do feel a bit better, but it is cooler too. Was it just heat? I really don't know. But I do remember going through this stuff before. Oh bother, I can handle a few days of it. It's not like I live in it anymore.
I may head into town and do just a bit of shopping. Being low on food is not fun. I would love to eat just a few bites before going in, but everything I have is sort of oddball. Ah well, I'll dig through this and that, here and there. I figure I will also grab a meal on my way home. Just a bite will do for now, and keep that buying frenzy edge off when I go to the store, well, those and put some gas in the gas tank.
Yes, definitely, I do feel a bit better. Later, or maybe even goodnight, again. I may still need more sleep, especially after a trip to town.
No second nap.
.
.
I am in a phase where I can neither truly wake up nor go back to sleep. I remember these well. It has been some time since I have been like this. There were times when this was more of the normal than any other phase though, weeks and months and years of this have been a part of my life. While I hate it just as much now I am pretty sure it is of a much shorter duration. I doubt if it will last more than a day or two. Hmm, the zombie shuffle might be a good name for it. My heart is feeling odd, too. I think I just pushed things a little too far. Hopefully taking a little down time will patch things up.
As I consider things, when ever I actually do get my application for conceal carry in, I consider whether I should buy another pistol or a rifle first. While I already have an AK, it isn't the best hunting, dual purpose, or ranged arm out there. Neither do I have a decent hunting rifle nor do I have what I would call a main battle rifle. So I have been watching the used sections at various places and going over a number of new arms options. Some of the used rifles would be great, say a .35 pump, for hunting. The problem with many of the lower priced used hunting rifles is that their caliber is odd. What you don't pay up front you pay the rest of your rifle ownership in ammunition. If, sometimes, you can even find it. On the other hand, paying $1,200 or more for both a good hunting/range firearm and similar for a very basic main battle arm is out of the question. Sure, a Nagant might work for both, but you find yourself back at ammunition problems (I suspect). Then again, I don't particularly care for the 30-06 caliber. It might be okay, but it simply isn't 'fine' (for either long range or mbr, and to my mind). Still, as women like to shop for clothes and other things, if they also like to complain about both nothing they like being offered and having nothing to wear, menfolk like to shop and complain about shopping for our fururms, durned things anyway. *grins*
Now for some articles which interested me. The first highlights the problem with modern group public education. What happens when neither a teacher nor principal has the will, full faith of parents, or legal authority to discipline children? Two things, chaos in the class and the criminalization of minor bad behavior. And both, not one or the other. Oh? Don't believe me? Then read this. I couldn't imagine why a kid, taken in by the police, then having to go to court and stand in front of a judge... for carrying a soda where it is prohibited would ever consider quitting before graduation! Idiots, the lot of them. And, yeah, that will break a kid down. Gun? Sure. Even a knife if the kid is a problem child (not the boyscout that just forgot though). But a can of pop? Fucking NAZIs who can't control turn to extreme force when their obvious incompetence is glaringly shown.
Most believe the recovery, if we ever start on the path to it, will be a long and brutal road, and I agree with that. I, however, completely disagree that it has to be slow or painful. I do believe we still have enough spit and enough industry and enough capital to come roaring back. What has to take place is a crippling of government interference in the forms of taxation, regulation, and through tort reform. It simply isn't worthwhile to hire people who are a risk to hire regardless if they are kept on OR let go. American workers have priced themselves out of work, only unions don't seem to understand this. It doesn't have to be a long hard road, save that socialists, communists, and their apparatchik have too many unelected and unaffected by political change appointees in place to halt any reversal of government harassment. Recovery could start gangbusters tomorrow. Look to Texas for an example. It's real, it's here, it will never be tried. One caveat, if we take the gloves off, the economic highs and lows will be severe (but short lived) again. Which, actually, is the way it is supposed to be. Think of rivers which have been volume controlled. Their valleys die. There is a reason for these things. They are more honest, as well, and money more closely maintains it's actual true worth. Never... mind... if you don't understand.
This is just a 'what if', but one with some possible legs. It is one I like. I do believe college, much like medicine, has become a capital eating road to nowhere. Now that so many people are educated, two things become perfectly clear. Education is what it always was, almost nothing and if everyone can do it, few should. I would honestly love to see a bunch of 'just-made it's' and 'secure fat and lazys' get bumped into the real markets, especially in these times. Most professors, honestly, shouldn't be trusted to flip burgers let alone teach kids (anything). Oh, sure, there are some fine professors who knew their crap and could tend the minds of students to learn it. The problem with even that is, much of what is taught is never used. Adding to that, as I mentioned, even those are rare professors indeed. No, I would love to see this what-if come to pass. Truly. A delight. "Hey professor Smartass! Uhrm, no cheese or pickle on that, meal deal, large size, with Coke. Still jogging every morning? Where is the Beemer?" Pricks.
And here is proof the world is about to swallow it's own... Well, if not a family site, I do have some restraint, usually. The whole notion that hardware companies are turning to software is a very bad sign indeed. Have you seen what passes for software on much of what you use? Even as a passive light user of many technologies, I can tell you the weak side is programming. Systems have become so miniaturized and complicated that a computer can't honestly track what is going on in those little toaster brains. Add in an arm, and an eye, and toss in stupid users and you get... a mess. China has competed out quality engineering and production so that what is left isn't worth fighting over. Hewlett-Packard going to software? Yeah, who woulda thunk?
Well, that's enough for now. It beat just sitting doing nothing, which I will return to after this post. Hope you enjoyed!
.
I am in a phase where I can neither truly wake up nor go back to sleep. I remember these well. It has been some time since I have been like this. There were times when this was more of the normal than any other phase though, weeks and months and years of this have been a part of my life. While I hate it just as much now I am pretty sure it is of a much shorter duration. I doubt if it will last more than a day or two. Hmm, the zombie shuffle might be a good name for it. My heart is feeling odd, too. I think I just pushed things a little too far. Hopefully taking a little down time will patch things up.
As I consider things, when ever I actually do get my application for conceal carry in, I consider whether I should buy another pistol or a rifle first. While I already have an AK, it isn't the best hunting, dual purpose, or ranged arm out there. Neither do I have a decent hunting rifle nor do I have what I would call a main battle rifle. So I have been watching the used sections at various places and going over a number of new arms options. Some of the used rifles would be great, say a .35 pump, for hunting. The problem with many of the lower priced used hunting rifles is that their caliber is odd. What you don't pay up front you pay the rest of your rifle ownership in ammunition. If, sometimes, you can even find it. On the other hand, paying $1,200 or more for both a good hunting/range firearm and similar for a very basic main battle arm is out of the question. Sure, a Nagant might work for both, but you find yourself back at ammunition problems (I suspect). Then again, I don't particularly care for the 30-06 caliber. It might be okay, but it simply isn't 'fine' (for either long range or mbr, and to my mind). Still, as women like to shop for clothes and other things, if they also like to complain about both nothing they like being offered and having nothing to wear, menfolk like to shop and complain about shopping for our fururms, durned things anyway. *grins*
Now for some articles which interested me. The first highlights the problem with modern group public education. What happens when neither a teacher nor principal has the will, full faith of parents, or legal authority to discipline children? Two things, chaos in the class and the criminalization of minor bad behavior. And both, not one or the other. Oh? Don't believe me? Then read this. I couldn't imagine why a kid, taken in by the police, then having to go to court and stand in front of a judge... for carrying a soda where it is prohibited would ever consider quitting before graduation! Idiots, the lot of them. And, yeah, that will break a kid down. Gun? Sure. Even a knife if the kid is a problem child (not the boyscout that just forgot though). But a can of pop? Fucking NAZIs who can't control turn to extreme force when their obvious incompetence is glaringly shown.
Most believe the recovery, if we ever start on the path to it, will be a long and brutal road, and I agree with that. I, however, completely disagree that it has to be slow or painful. I do believe we still have enough spit and enough industry and enough capital to come roaring back. What has to take place is a crippling of government interference in the forms of taxation, regulation, and through tort reform. It simply isn't worthwhile to hire people who are a risk to hire regardless if they are kept on OR let go. American workers have priced themselves out of work, only unions don't seem to understand this. It doesn't have to be a long hard road, save that socialists, communists, and their apparatchik have too many unelected and unaffected by political change appointees in place to halt any reversal of government harassment. Recovery could start gangbusters tomorrow. Look to Texas for an example. It's real, it's here, it will never be tried. One caveat, if we take the gloves off, the economic highs and lows will be severe (but short lived) again. Which, actually, is the way it is supposed to be. Think of rivers which have been volume controlled. Their valleys die. There is a reason for these things. They are more honest, as well, and money more closely maintains it's actual true worth. Never... mind... if you don't understand.
This is just a 'what if', but one with some possible legs. It is one I like. I do believe college, much like medicine, has become a capital eating road to nowhere. Now that so many people are educated, two things become perfectly clear. Education is what it always was, almost nothing and if everyone can do it, few should. I would honestly love to see a bunch of 'just-made it's' and 'secure fat and lazys' get bumped into the real markets, especially in these times. Most professors, honestly, shouldn't be trusted to flip burgers let alone teach kids (anything). Oh, sure, there are some fine professors who knew their crap and could tend the minds of students to learn it. The problem with even that is, much of what is taught is never used. Adding to that, as I mentioned, even those are rare professors indeed. No, I would love to see this what-if come to pass. Truly. A delight. "Hey professor Smartass! Uhrm, no cheese or pickle on that, meal deal, large size, with Coke. Still jogging every morning? Where is the Beemer?" Pricks.
And here is proof the world is about to swallow it's own... Well, if not a family site, I do have some restraint, usually. The whole notion that hardware companies are turning to software is a very bad sign indeed. Have you seen what passes for software on much of what you use? Even as a passive light user of many technologies, I can tell you the weak side is programming. Systems have become so miniaturized and complicated that a computer can't honestly track what is going on in those little toaster brains. Add in an arm, and an eye, and toss in stupid users and you get... a mess. China has competed out quality engineering and production so that what is left isn't worth fighting over. Hewlett-Packard going to software? Yeah, who woulda thunk?
Well, that's enough for now. It beat just sitting doing nothing, which I will return to after this post. Hope you enjoyed!
Up early.
.
.
I woke at around 8:00, actually a little before. I simply stumbled around for a few hours until I decided a nap might reset the thing. A nap has been had and another is slated for a few more hours. I simply can't do much today. It isn't so much a thing of forcing through, or trying, and there isn't anything to put in the fireplace, light, then cook. I can't keep my mind on anything because all it wants to do is sleep. Give more sleep to it... Like rolling snake eyes for a whole day. At some point you just realize you have no game. Might as well go home and SLEEP. *ZzzzzzZ*
I did get my medicine passed my gullet. I weighed myself and checked my bp, which is good at 131/94 I think, the best in a long time. I may call and figure out what is required for auto registration since I can't seem to find my old registration. I am not sure if I need an inspection either (this is one of THOSE states). If they truly weeded out the nasty autos and trucks I might even at least give that a nod. It doesn't. I see more foul vehicles here than I did in Iowa, without an inspection as part of the process of registration. When will people learn that government intervention doesn't do a thing but cost them more and become a minor hurdle for those not interested in the spirit of the law or something to toy with by those who enjoying jabbing their fingers right into the eyes of the law regardless? No, never mind. Some people never learn, especially those whose jobs depend on never learning.
Actually, because the ease of contacting and communicating with said 'non-learners', I may try to find the answers online before trying to contact some overpaid under-worked single mother of foreign born children who it hurts to pick up a phone (unless they are wasting government time talking to their children, their mothers, or their girlfriends to find out who the next unwed mother-to-be is and what species the child will be). Oh, my, how politically incorrect (and factual) of me.
Hmm, food, too. I ought to figure out what I could rustle up before crashing again. I am absolutely starving today, for whatever reason. Oh, something I noticed is that I really am tightening up and my arms are getting bigger and better defined. No, not body beautiful*, as I have said, only comparatively. Perhaps the weight gain really is muscle mass additions, or in part. If my legs increase as fast as the rest of my muscles, from just a bit of work, that could end up being a huge fast weight gain, and one I wouldn't even notice. I can't see my legs in the mirror, and that is mostly when I happen to notice changes more quickly. Quads are the biggest muscle group on the body, and a few percent for someone my size is... significant. That honestly might explain the weight gain. More so since I don't have that... water in the back of the throat... type of feel. (*a body building competition)
I guess my goals have been rearranged. I will rest as I must until I am ready to get to it again. There are a few things that must be done. Taxes must be checked and paid. Food has to be purchased as I am out, literally, of solid foods. And if I get a good day, I would like to hit my first hike sooner rather than later. The nice thing about being disabled is that I can get to the trails midweek when fewer people will be on them. I can only imagine the possible congestion on the weekends, as the easier trails are often for hikers, fisherman, and bikers too.
Something, perhaps, to feed my face with. I might still have some junk around (just no solid real food). Hungry! Then... nap time.
Oh, weird dreams. Some might call them nightmares, but to me it's like those cheesy B (or C) horror flicks from the past. They haven't even been engaging... Not even worth popping popcorn to go with them. It's sad when you are so drained even your unconscious imagination becomes lackluster. hehe
.
I woke at around 8:00, actually a little before. I simply stumbled around for a few hours until I decided a nap might reset the thing. A nap has been had and another is slated for a few more hours. I simply can't do much today. It isn't so much a thing of forcing through, or trying, and there isn't anything to put in the fireplace, light, then cook. I can't keep my mind on anything because all it wants to do is sleep. Give more sleep to it... Like rolling snake eyes for a whole day. At some point you just realize you have no game. Might as well go home and SLEEP. *ZzzzzzZ*
I did get my medicine passed my gullet. I weighed myself and checked my bp, which is good at 131/94 I think, the best in a long time. I may call and figure out what is required for auto registration since I can't seem to find my old registration. I am not sure if I need an inspection either (this is one of THOSE states). If they truly weeded out the nasty autos and trucks I might even at least give that a nod. It doesn't. I see more foul vehicles here than I did in Iowa, without an inspection as part of the process of registration. When will people learn that government intervention doesn't do a thing but cost them more and become a minor hurdle for those not interested in the spirit of the law or something to toy with by those who enjoying jabbing their fingers right into the eyes of the law regardless? No, never mind. Some people never learn, especially those whose jobs depend on never learning.
Actually, because the ease of contacting and communicating with said 'non-learners', I may try to find the answers online before trying to contact some overpaid under-worked single mother of foreign born children who it hurts to pick up a phone (unless they are wasting government time talking to their children, their mothers, or their girlfriends to find out who the next unwed mother-to-be is and what species the child will be). Oh, my, how politically incorrect (and factual) of me.
Hmm, food, too. I ought to figure out what I could rustle up before crashing again. I am absolutely starving today, for whatever reason. Oh, something I noticed is that I really am tightening up and my arms are getting bigger and better defined. No, not body beautiful*, as I have said, only comparatively. Perhaps the weight gain really is muscle mass additions, or in part. If my legs increase as fast as the rest of my muscles, from just a bit of work, that could end up being a huge fast weight gain, and one I wouldn't even notice. I can't see my legs in the mirror, and that is mostly when I happen to notice changes more quickly. Quads are the biggest muscle group on the body, and a few percent for someone my size is... significant. That honestly might explain the weight gain. More so since I don't have that... water in the back of the throat... type of feel. (*a body building competition)
I guess my goals have been rearranged. I will rest as I must until I am ready to get to it again. There are a few things that must be done. Taxes must be checked and paid. Food has to be purchased as I am out, literally, of solid foods. And if I get a good day, I would like to hit my first hike sooner rather than later. The nice thing about being disabled is that I can get to the trails midweek when fewer people will be on them. I can only imagine the possible congestion on the weekends, as the easier trails are often for hikers, fisherman, and bikers too.
Something, perhaps, to feed my face with. I might still have some junk around (just no solid real food). Hungry! Then... nap time.
Oh, weird dreams. Some might call them nightmares, but to me it's like those cheesy B (or C) horror flicks from the past. They haven't even been engaging... Not even worth popping popcorn to go with them. It's sad when you are so drained even your unconscious imagination becomes lackluster. hehe
I suppose I shouldn't complain?
.
.
"My husbands EF is 15%. He is very ill. He was told 8 yrs ago that he would not make it thu the yr. I watch everything he eats,he is on as little salt as possible,decreased chol.diet,& is on 24 pills daily. He has a pacemaker in his chest plus a defibrilator in has chest. It has gone off more times than I can mention. He has had 3 major heart attacks & he's still here.Our life is very limited, He has a hard time breathing,he is on oxygen.Everyday is a gift & I treasure each one." lonepine
I have nothing in my chest, I'm on 7 pills a day (or less), I don't watch what I eat I just try to eat a well rounded assortment, I can do quite a bit (and more on medicine), and my heart may actually be in worse condition since both ventricles are enlarged and probably have been for some time. No oxygen either, and because it has been so hot I haven't wanted to set up the CPAP machine. I guess I just think I should be able to even do more. And, probably I will do more. Oh, and I live alone. No wife to feed or care for me. Yeah, I guess I have it pretty darn good for the condition I am in.
Tomorrow I hope to make it to Logan for taxes and SLC for the permit application. I may need to take much of the rest of the week off. With the heat and such, it's just killing me. Then again, I will be hot in any case. Trimming the weeds, dishes, and some more laundry (my bedding and begging for my mother's bed while she is here, I have the rest of it clean and hung or folded). Danged heat is killing me though. And I have been pushing things, right through it. Hmm, maybe in the mornings and afternoons though, taking the hot times of the day off. A drive to the local lake and just some cool soaking might be the thing. No real swimming, just... cooling off in the water, mostly? Can I not swim when wet? I doubt it. Bleh.
I need some sleep, if I can cool down. Good night.
.
"My husbands EF is 15%. He is very ill. He was told 8 yrs ago that he would not make it thu the yr. I watch everything he eats,he is on as little salt as possible,decreased chol.diet,& is on 24 pills daily. He has a pacemaker in his chest plus a defibrilator in has chest. It has gone off more times than I can mention. He has had 3 major heart attacks & he's still here.Our life is very limited, He has a hard time breathing,he is on oxygen.Everyday is a gift & I treasure each one." lonepine
I have nothing in my chest, I'm on 7 pills a day (or less), I don't watch what I eat I just try to eat a well rounded assortment, I can do quite a bit (and more on medicine), and my heart may actually be in worse condition since both ventricles are enlarged and probably have been for some time. No oxygen either, and because it has been so hot I haven't wanted to set up the CPAP machine. I guess I just think I should be able to even do more. And, probably I will do more. Oh, and I live alone. No wife to feed or care for me. Yeah, I guess I have it pretty darn good for the condition I am in.
Tomorrow I hope to make it to Logan for taxes and SLC for the permit application. I may need to take much of the rest of the week off. With the heat and such, it's just killing me. Then again, I will be hot in any case. Trimming the weeds, dishes, and some more laundry (my bedding and begging for my mother's bed while she is here, I have the rest of it clean and hung or folded). Danged heat is killing me though. And I have been pushing things, right through it. Hmm, maybe in the mornings and afternoons though, taking the hot times of the day off. A drive to the local lake and just some cool soaking might be the thing. No real swimming, just... cooling off in the water, mostly? Can I not swim when wet? I doubt it. Bleh.
I need some sleep, if I can cool down. Good night.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
So very hot.
.
.
Even with plenty of Gatorade and water I was getting pretty beat up today. Grabbing all of the guns needed, then ammo, then making sure I had my stuff though I seem to have lost or forgotten my ammunition. I picked my friend up and, yes, he did buy cigarettes. Then to the gas station. Out to find a place to shoot. And finally a meal on the way back through town. I suspect he was gone longer than four hours but there wasn't much to be done about that. I did suggest he find 21 mg patches, and that he take the opportunity to quit. I know he won't, but he thinks it is a great idea. He thinks cigarettes cost him at least $150 a month. He really could use that money.
I have been dragging bottom all day. It never got better. I am simply all out of energy. Yeah, sure, I keep going but I am more treading water than making Olympic time in the pool. I am still hoping to get those things done tomorrow that I had to skip last Friday. But I am well and truly wiped. It might just be the heat. Perhaps my tolerance of the dry heat has ended. Now I am used to it as merely heat and it is too much. Either that or my health is declining.
The reason I wonder about my heart is that I continue to gain weight. If anything I am eating less, though that can actually increase weight, as bowel movements decrease in frequency and possibly volume as the body clings to everything. While I do seem to be tightening up, though, too. My muscles are more solid. I don't think biking would do that with chest and upper body muscles? And, when the heat is rather high, palpitations and pressing exhaustion can occur. That all makes me nervous. I know I may have to reconsider central air. Even to keep it a steady 72 F, with as dry as it is, so long as electricity continues to be generated and affordable. Then again, I am beginning to have trouble buying groceries. I can only imagine what a family of four at my financial level must be going through!
The world is really getting bad. I hear Social Security Disability is already bankrupt. What amazes me is that they continue to give it to people for things like alcoholism, even sending the checks right to the liquor stores (which should at least make them wonder how those people are paying rent since they aren't supposed to be able to work!). We live in an absolutely insane world, and Obama thinks the insanity is right, or good, or whatever such people call that which they think is good. He is, of course, just the quota face of the real liberals, such as Biden, the Kennedys, and many others both in and outside of politics.
Well, there is always the chance God will call me sooner rather than later and then I won't have to think about idiots anymore. I'll worry about what it takes to get to heaven and how to go about that. I just can't help but notice, everywhere and always, the evil that surrounds me. I don't fear it, if I know it might just kill me itself. I just realize it, I guess.
Later, or maybe even good night.
.
Even with plenty of Gatorade and water I was getting pretty beat up today. Grabbing all of the guns needed, then ammo, then making sure I had my stuff though I seem to have lost or forgotten my ammunition. I picked my friend up and, yes, he did buy cigarettes. Then to the gas station. Out to find a place to shoot. And finally a meal on the way back through town. I suspect he was gone longer than four hours but there wasn't much to be done about that. I did suggest he find 21 mg patches, and that he take the opportunity to quit. I know he won't, but he thinks it is a great idea. He thinks cigarettes cost him at least $150 a month. He really could use that money.
I have been dragging bottom all day. It never got better. I am simply all out of energy. Yeah, sure, I keep going but I am more treading water than making Olympic time in the pool. I am still hoping to get those things done tomorrow that I had to skip last Friday. But I am well and truly wiped. It might just be the heat. Perhaps my tolerance of the dry heat has ended. Now I am used to it as merely heat and it is too much. Either that or my health is declining.
The reason I wonder about my heart is that I continue to gain weight. If anything I am eating less, though that can actually increase weight, as bowel movements decrease in frequency and possibly volume as the body clings to everything. While I do seem to be tightening up, though, too. My muscles are more solid. I don't think biking would do that with chest and upper body muscles? And, when the heat is rather high, palpitations and pressing exhaustion can occur. That all makes me nervous. I know I may have to reconsider central air. Even to keep it a steady 72 F, with as dry as it is, so long as electricity continues to be generated and affordable. Then again, I am beginning to have trouble buying groceries. I can only imagine what a family of four at my financial level must be going through!
The world is really getting bad. I hear Social Security Disability is already bankrupt. What amazes me is that they continue to give it to people for things like alcoholism, even sending the checks right to the liquor stores (which should at least make them wonder how those people are paying rent since they aren't supposed to be able to work!). We live in an absolutely insane world, and Obama thinks the insanity is right, or good, or whatever such people call that which they think is good. He is, of course, just the quota face of the real liberals, such as Biden, the Kennedys, and many others both in and outside of politics.
Well, there is always the chance God will call me sooner rather than later and then I won't have to think about idiots anymore. I'll worry about what it takes to get to heaven and how to go about that. I just can't help but notice, everywhere and always, the evil that surrounds me. I don't fear it, if I know it might just kill me itself. I just realize it, I guess.
Later, or maybe even good night.
Running a bit late, but...
.
.
So be it. I will be in to pick up my friend sooner or later. I am still tired. One day off, after a long day, after another day off, with a busy whole week pretty much since last Sunday before that. And, I have been pumping it out for a couple weeks or more, as much as possible. Further, I have weeks to come of heavy work, and that is until my mother visits, at which time I will be even busier, until I go in for some psychotic surgical procedure. Ah well. Just saying. Not really complaining. Actually, if anything, I am depressed about how little I am doing. I mean, all that I am doing is a miracle compared to my last 20 years. Truly, I am doing all kinds of things. But compared to almost any of you? I do in a week what you do in a day and few of you even get that mild of a day, to a degree. Some perspective is good, but there are so many perspectives which need to be applied that it is difficult to keep track. Never... Mind.
I slept well. I woke later than what my bedtime would have suggested. But I do what I can, when I can. I need a quick shower but my shave is still good. Sometimes my shave is good for a few hours, sometimes it will last a week. I suspect I have some sort of internal chemical (physique type) metabolism issues. Then again, 20-30% blood flow... I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. To keep everything going, my body must transfer blood around to various things. Even vital organs don't get a full requested supply. Everything is on some sort of high and low rotation, where the "high" is just more than low but not even close to true demand. Considering it has probably been this bad for a very long time, I am honestly surprised I am not retarded through oxygen deprived brain damage. Hmmm, maybe I am. What would I have been if they had fixed this decades ago? Even if they fix it now, is my body and brain permanently stunted, broken? I don't know.
Well, I best be on my way. Good day.
.
So be it. I will be in to pick up my friend sooner or later. I am still tired. One day off, after a long day, after another day off, with a busy whole week pretty much since last Sunday before that. And, I have been pumping it out for a couple weeks or more, as much as possible. Further, I have weeks to come of heavy work, and that is until my mother visits, at which time I will be even busier, until I go in for some psychotic surgical procedure. Ah well. Just saying. Not really complaining. Actually, if anything, I am depressed about how little I am doing. I mean, all that I am doing is a miracle compared to my last 20 years. Truly, I am doing all kinds of things. But compared to almost any of you? I do in a week what you do in a day and few of you even get that mild of a day, to a degree. Some perspective is good, but there are so many perspectives which need to be applied that it is difficult to keep track. Never... Mind.
I slept well. I woke later than what my bedtime would have suggested. But I do what I can, when I can. I need a quick shower but my shave is still good. Sometimes my shave is good for a few hours, sometimes it will last a week. I suspect I have some sort of internal chemical (physique type) metabolism issues. Then again, 20-30% blood flow... I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. To keep everything going, my body must transfer blood around to various things. Even vital organs don't get a full requested supply. Everything is on some sort of high and low rotation, where the "high" is just more than low but not even close to true demand. Considering it has probably been this bad for a very long time, I am honestly surprised I am not retarded through oxygen deprived brain damage. Hmmm, maybe I am. What would I have been if they had fixed this decades ago? Even if they fix it now, is my body and brain permanently stunted, broken? I don't know.
Well, I best be on my way. Good day.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Bed time.
.
.
I did read a goodly chunk of my current Chesterton book. And, as it turns out, it is an excellent starter for the series of books I have coming in. Oh, and I learned a new word, plutocrat. Sure, I should have known it. But... don't you say that about all the words you find yourself looking up? My guess is at one time I did know it. Being so rarely used, in the general public however, it slipped away. Chesterton is an excellent critic of modernism. He also criticizes the extremes of individualism as well. That was... something I was missing, but felt. I could easily defend against collectivism but I had no defense against, or even a surety of what, the other extreme is. I will be exploring this more in my readings.
Little else was done. I had forgotten to call my friend. Thankfully he called me. Same time, same place, but he thinks the .45, 9 mm, and the .380. Can do. And I do have ammo on hand for that as well. He wants to stop at Walmart, and I will. I asked why and I am 99% sure he lied, or in part. I am guessing he is going to buy cigarettes. I won't stop him, or refuse to stop, I simply will not buy these things for him. *shrug* He has an opportunity, I wish he would take it. For him it is a money thing. I have asked my mother if she will go on the patch with me, here. But she has to promise not to smoke on top of it. I won't force her, I am simply offering. I, too, would go on the patch with her. I will do it with her or after she leaves, makes no difference to me. So, yeah, I do know how hard it is.
I've got to admit, I am suspecting the medicine is not working. I could be wrong, but I think I'm headed straight for a heart attack. I could be wrong, it's just a sense. If I can hold on until my mother shows up, and I get in for that angiography, I'll know more certainly. It might just be one of those weird feelings, dreads, we get. And I am not going to slow down just for it, as if I am right it simply doesn't matter. Further, being in better shape, should it occur, will make recovery (if that is possible) easier. Maybe that is why the doctors have sort of given up. Perhaps they know there is no chance and they simply don't want to come out and just say it, or argue with me. I'm through arguing though. Then again, I wouldn't take their advice, let them split me from stem to stern, even to put in a device, and I certainly wouldn't accept a heart transplant. Those are damned dehumanizing things and I simply won't do it. Unlike the actor who played superman who would (or would have) been very happy to have babies eviscerated should it allow him to walk again. We all know this.
Have a good one. Even if I am right, I am going to have a fine day right up until I don't, and maybe even after. Don't you worry.
.
I did read a goodly chunk of my current Chesterton book. And, as it turns out, it is an excellent starter for the series of books I have coming in. Oh, and I learned a new word, plutocrat. Sure, I should have known it. But... don't you say that about all the words you find yourself looking up? My guess is at one time I did know it. Being so rarely used, in the general public however, it slipped away. Chesterton is an excellent critic of modernism. He also criticizes the extremes of individualism as well. That was... something I was missing, but felt. I could easily defend against collectivism but I had no defense against, or even a surety of what, the other extreme is. I will be exploring this more in my readings.
Little else was done. I had forgotten to call my friend. Thankfully he called me. Same time, same place, but he thinks the .45, 9 mm, and the .380. Can do. And I do have ammo on hand for that as well. He wants to stop at Walmart, and I will. I asked why and I am 99% sure he lied, or in part. I am guessing he is going to buy cigarettes. I won't stop him, or refuse to stop, I simply will not buy these things for him. *shrug* He has an opportunity, I wish he would take it. For him it is a money thing. I have asked my mother if she will go on the patch with me, here. But she has to promise not to smoke on top of it. I won't force her, I am simply offering. I, too, would go on the patch with her. I will do it with her or after she leaves, makes no difference to me. So, yeah, I do know how hard it is.
I've got to admit, I am suspecting the medicine is not working. I could be wrong, but I think I'm headed straight for a heart attack. I could be wrong, it's just a sense. If I can hold on until my mother shows up, and I get in for that angiography, I'll know more certainly. It might just be one of those weird feelings, dreads, we get. And I am not going to slow down just for it, as if I am right it simply doesn't matter. Further, being in better shape, should it occur, will make recovery (if that is possible) easier. Maybe that is why the doctors have sort of given up. Perhaps they know there is no chance and they simply don't want to come out and just say it, or argue with me. I'm through arguing though. Then again, I wouldn't take their advice, let them split me from stem to stern, even to put in a device, and I certainly wouldn't accept a heart transplant. Those are damned dehumanizing things and I simply won't do it. Unlike the actor who played superman who would (or would have) been very happy to have babies eviscerated should it allow him to walk again. We all know this.
Have a good one. Even if I am right, I am going to have a fine day right up until I don't, and maybe even after. Don't you worry.
Ambushed.
.
.
By my pillows! I got to bed fairly early last night. And I set my alarm. I hear the cats meowling outside my door, I hear rain, I heard the alarm. It just turns out that 8:00 was too early to rise. Try 9:00 or 9:30. I'm still not sure, it was in between those times when I finally woke. I would have gotten up a little earlier but when I went to look for my glasses I couldn't find them right off, so like the groundhog who sees his shadow, I went back to bed. I just didn't have what it took to both get up AND find my glasses.
For whatever reason, I seem to be taking on more fluid again, or still. I am pretty sure I am not eating or drinking more so I am not sure what the problem is. As well, I have again become much more active. Not that ten to fifteen blocks of bike riding four or five times a week is burning all that many calories, or what else I do consumes gargantuan calories, but that I am eating no more and yet comparatively doing more means that I'm probably not simply bulking up on food. The V.A. is very strange. For as demanding as the heart clinic is, it pretty much ignores what it has suggested is good or bad about weight gain/loss. I don't even think they really track it. They want that daily information, that seems to be pretty much all they care about. If they logged it I would be thinking that they just wanted data, but they don't. They are a strange lot though, at that clinic. Strange indeed.
I am planning on nothing today. Just being awake seems to be as close to victory as I am going to get. The good thing is that is all I had hoped to do. If I am feeling spunky, perhaps some things, light things, will go forward. But from my spot in consciousness at this point, I am not planning on it, counting on it, or even hoping for it. I may just go read until my brain shuts down for a nap. I'm still into Chesterton. Dense reading if you read with your full bandwidth. Though even then you might easily miss things. If his books were a dessert, they would be the richest triple chocolate cake you have ever eaten, and then the richest steak you have ever had, followed by the stoutest drink you have ever enjoyed. Bam!
Later, maybe.
.
By my pillows! I got to bed fairly early last night. And I set my alarm. I hear the cats meowling outside my door, I hear rain, I heard the alarm. It just turns out that 8:00 was too early to rise. Try 9:00 or 9:30. I'm still not sure, it was in between those times when I finally woke. I would have gotten up a little earlier but when I went to look for my glasses I couldn't find them right off, so like the groundhog who sees his shadow, I went back to bed. I just didn't have what it took to both get up AND find my glasses.
For whatever reason, I seem to be taking on more fluid again, or still. I am pretty sure I am not eating or drinking more so I am not sure what the problem is. As well, I have again become much more active. Not that ten to fifteen blocks of bike riding four or five times a week is burning all that many calories, or what else I do consumes gargantuan calories, but that I am eating no more and yet comparatively doing more means that I'm probably not simply bulking up on food. The V.A. is very strange. For as demanding as the heart clinic is, it pretty much ignores what it has suggested is good or bad about weight gain/loss. I don't even think they really track it. They want that daily information, that seems to be pretty much all they care about. If they logged it I would be thinking that they just wanted data, but they don't. They are a strange lot though, at that clinic. Strange indeed.
I am planning on nothing today. Just being awake seems to be as close to victory as I am going to get. The good thing is that is all I had hoped to do. If I am feeling spunky, perhaps some things, light things, will go forward. But from my spot in consciousness at this point, I am not planning on it, counting on it, or even hoping for it. I may just go read until my brain shuts down for a nap. I'm still into Chesterton. Dense reading if you read with your full bandwidth. Though even then you might easily miss things. If his books were a dessert, they would be the richest triple chocolate cake you have ever eaten, and then the richest steak you have ever had, followed by the stoutest drink you have ever enjoyed. Bam!
Later, maybe.
Friday, August 19, 2011
State government offices are closed on Friday.
.
.
Until September or January or something. Oh well. I did pick up the medicine, I did get my sword worked on. I was up early. Ah well. I guess I get to do it again Monday, but with fewer tasks. I am thinking, however, that had government offices been open I might easily have had to drop something from my list. I ended up having two hours to kill, but if I had also stopped at the various offices for taxes and turned in my application I would have been really late for my last visit. Possibly... probably.
Nothing fancy anywhere. I did stop, for the first time, at Red Robin. I had always thought that was 'just another burger joint'. Nope. They have excellent burgers. I also had a heiffe weisen, a local brew, on tap. My doctor wants me to cut down so I only had one (of course, it was the 24 ounce one). All good.
Something I am noticing, however, is that when I spend that much time out and about, driving, in the sun, and such, I do go through periods where I get woozy. While I was killing time I went into Lowe's. I don't know if it was the heat, all the walking (I did a good deal of that today), or... what. I am not sure that it is heart related, it might just be that I am still out of shape. Then again, when it is hitting 90 plus and you are out in it all day, perhaps that is perfectly normal? I have been so abnormal for so long, I simply don't know what is or isn't supposed to happen.
Tomorrow is a day off. Then Sunday I will probably be taking my friend shooting again. Nothing fancy, but a day out is a day out. Monday I will be going back to SLC after stopping in Logan to pay taxes, or check on one and pay another anyway. I am ready for tomorrow, and a day off. Oh, if I make it back in time, I will be stopping into my Church Monday. Or I will do that Tuesday. I've got to keep that on my mind and get to it as soon as possible. I should do that first, but the police don't pull you over for that, yet. So, yeah, auto taxes and SLC first.
Good night.
.
Until September or January or something. Oh well. I did pick up the medicine, I did get my sword worked on. I was up early. Ah well. I guess I get to do it again Monday, but with fewer tasks. I am thinking, however, that had government offices been open I might easily have had to drop something from my list. I ended up having two hours to kill, but if I had also stopped at the various offices for taxes and turned in my application I would have been really late for my last visit. Possibly... probably.
Nothing fancy anywhere. I did stop, for the first time, at Red Robin. I had always thought that was 'just another burger joint'. Nope. They have excellent burgers. I also had a heiffe weisen, a local brew, on tap. My doctor wants me to cut down so I only had one (of course, it was the 24 ounce one). All good.
Something I am noticing, however, is that when I spend that much time out and about, driving, in the sun, and such, I do go through periods where I get woozy. While I was killing time I went into Lowe's. I don't know if it was the heat, all the walking (I did a good deal of that today), or... what. I am not sure that it is heart related, it might just be that I am still out of shape. Then again, when it is hitting 90 plus and you are out in it all day, perhaps that is perfectly normal? I have been so abnormal for so long, I simply don't know what is or isn't supposed to happen.
Tomorrow is a day off. Then Sunday I will probably be taking my friend shooting again. Nothing fancy, but a day out is a day out. Monday I will be going back to SLC after stopping in Logan to pay taxes, or check on one and pay another anyway. I am ready for tomorrow, and a day off. Oh, if I make it back in time, I will be stopping into my Church Monday. Or I will do that Tuesday. I've got to keep that on my mind and get to it as soon as possible. I should do that first, but the police don't pull you over for that, yet. So, yeah, auto taxes and SLC first.
Good night.
Hopeful.
.
.
My eyes are stinging, but I rolled back my wake up time. I was up by 8:00, a little before actually, in time to turn off the alarm. My goal is to be out of the house by about 10:00. The first jobs are to check/pay taxes on auto and home if needed. Then on to SLC to apply for the permit, pick up medicine, and see to that sword. It is going to be a long day. The nice thing is, nothing is on a schedule so I don't have to rush. Often, when traveling and with an appointment, I get caught up in the rush of traffic. I was going to say I hate the drive, but that isn't true. I just think the risk factor goes up for anything from an accident to a ticket. It gets a bit looney on the interstate when timing is more critical.
It looks to be a nice day for a drive. I made things easy last night by getting all the paperwork ready to go, then going online and finding the places I didn't know. My printer isn't working, so I had to take instructions down by hand. Fine, fine, my handwriting is good, a mini-drawn map on the back, the turn points, and a mental overview, added to a now decent memory means I probably don't need the instructions at this point. Still, I'll take those, the paperwork, and my freshly washed body and get it all done and easily. I hope.
I think the only questionable thing regards how long it might take to get in, see a pharmacist, pick up the needed medicine, and get out. The rest of it will be an easy day, if a very long one. I am going to be absolutely bushed by the time I get home. I don't mind being bushed, I am trying to figure out how exhaust myself physically as often as I can, actually. I am only a little disappointed that all this effort does nothing to get me in better shape. Or does it? Does it add to stamina? I don't know. If successful, it will be the crowning jewel of a day in a rather successful week. Do you all remember when... just making my appointment at the V.A., and doing nothing else the rest of the week, was that crowning jewel for a week, or even a month? I do. Things have improved if I still am a gimp.
Well, best get to it. A shower, a shave, some primping, dressing, and away. And to those of you who do this every single day of your lives, even those of you I don't like? *salute* You are better men (and women) than I am, on this point. Though and again, would you be able to compete in my shoes? Therein lies the thing you probably haven't considered. Not to detract, but could you live past a failed heart?
Good day.
.
My eyes are stinging, but I rolled back my wake up time. I was up by 8:00, a little before actually, in time to turn off the alarm. My goal is to be out of the house by about 10:00. The first jobs are to check/pay taxes on auto and home if needed. Then on to SLC to apply for the permit, pick up medicine, and see to that sword. It is going to be a long day. The nice thing is, nothing is on a schedule so I don't have to rush. Often, when traveling and with an appointment, I get caught up in the rush of traffic. I was going to say I hate the drive, but that isn't true. I just think the risk factor goes up for anything from an accident to a ticket. It gets a bit looney on the interstate when timing is more critical.
It looks to be a nice day for a drive. I made things easy last night by getting all the paperwork ready to go, then going online and finding the places I didn't know. My printer isn't working, so I had to take instructions down by hand. Fine, fine, my handwriting is good, a mini-drawn map on the back, the turn points, and a mental overview, added to a now decent memory means I probably don't need the instructions at this point. Still, I'll take those, the paperwork, and my freshly washed body and get it all done and easily. I hope.
I think the only questionable thing regards how long it might take to get in, see a pharmacist, pick up the needed medicine, and get out. The rest of it will be an easy day, if a very long one. I am going to be absolutely bushed by the time I get home. I don't mind being bushed, I am trying to figure out how exhaust myself physically as often as I can, actually. I am only a little disappointed that all this effort does nothing to get me in better shape. Or does it? Does it add to stamina? I don't know. If successful, it will be the crowning jewel of a day in a rather successful week. Do you all remember when... just making my appointment at the V.A., and doing nothing else the rest of the week, was that crowning jewel for a week, or even a month? I do. Things have improved if I still am a gimp.
Well, best get to it. A shower, a shave, some primping, dressing, and away. And to those of you who do this every single day of your lives, even those of you I don't like? *salute* You are better men (and women) than I am, on this point. Though and again, would you be able to compete in my shoes? Therein lies the thing you probably haven't considered. Not to detract, but could you live past a failed heart?
Good day.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
A day off, but no more.
.
.
I roped myself into a busy day tomorrow. I had thought about just doing taxes and calling it good. But! The conceal carry forum has a section for other types of weapons. And I have a rusting live-steel sword. So I thought perhaps someone there might know something. I described my problem and let it go. I just got off the phone, after a pm with my contact information had been sent earlier, with a man who both sells and deals with bladed arms. It seems he would be willing to look at the thing, see what he can do, and show me how to keep the sword in good condition. Further, it works out perfectly, as he won't be available until late afternoon which gives me time to do taxes in the morning, put in my application for a permit and pick up medicine in the mid-afternoon, and arrive at his place just on time. And, the way things work, I shouldn't have to rush for any of it, assuming I get a good head start right in the morning. As an added bonus, I will have met at least one of the people from the forum. Yeah, it makes a difference when someone knows your face... sort of has a feel about your bona fides. Actually, that makes two. The guy who taught the class is on the forum, too.
If I can swing it, after a day of rest, I will have done a hell-a-lot this week. And just in time to take the weekend off, for the most part. As I am becoming more active rest times are becoming vital. It is almost difficult, now, to remember just sitting around for weeks, months, nearly years. It hasn't been a quick transition, and I am nowhere near complete with it, and I don't know just how busy I will ever be able to become. Then again, who is? Every one of you, busy types or not, know that sitting a little too long, or becoming ill, or losing your job, or... many other things... can sideline you faster than quick. Having no money makes moving forward very difficult, not being forced to move forward, all of it can just wipe you out. And sometimes will power, like with illness or even short term depression from a job loss, seems to simply flee.
Anyway, I have business tomorrow and I mean to get it done. It will be quite nice to have the sword both tended, and learn how to keep it that way. This thing has bugged me for longer than you might realize. While a day down is a bit of an annoyance, it sure beats a week or a month or three down. Then again, a day down once in a while is surely a nice thing, too, now.
Good night.
.
I roped myself into a busy day tomorrow. I had thought about just doing taxes and calling it good. But! The conceal carry forum has a section for other types of weapons. And I have a rusting live-steel sword. So I thought perhaps someone there might know something. I described my problem and let it go. I just got off the phone, after a pm with my contact information had been sent earlier, with a man who both sells and deals with bladed arms. It seems he would be willing to look at the thing, see what he can do, and show me how to keep the sword in good condition. Further, it works out perfectly, as he won't be available until late afternoon which gives me time to do taxes in the morning, put in my application for a permit and pick up medicine in the mid-afternoon, and arrive at his place just on time. And, the way things work, I shouldn't have to rush for any of it, assuming I get a good head start right in the morning. As an added bonus, I will have met at least one of the people from the forum. Yeah, it makes a difference when someone knows your face... sort of has a feel about your bona fides. Actually, that makes two. The guy who taught the class is on the forum, too.
If I can swing it, after a day of rest, I will have done a hell-a-lot this week. And just in time to take the weekend off, for the most part. As I am becoming more active rest times are becoming vital. It is almost difficult, now, to remember just sitting around for weeks, months, nearly years. It hasn't been a quick transition, and I am nowhere near complete with it, and I don't know just how busy I will ever be able to become. Then again, who is? Every one of you, busy types or not, know that sitting a little too long, or becoming ill, or losing your job, or... many other things... can sideline you faster than quick. Having no money makes moving forward very difficult, not being forced to move forward, all of it can just wipe you out. And sometimes will power, like with illness or even short term depression from a job loss, seems to simply flee.
Anyway, I have business tomorrow and I mean to get it done. It will be quite nice to have the sword both tended, and learn how to keep it that way. This thing has bugged me for longer than you might realize. While a day down is a bit of an annoyance, it sure beats a week or a month or three down. Then again, a day down once in a while is surely a nice thing, too, now.
Good night.
Ah well.
.
.
Just like I was going to be quiet, and just like I was going to get things done today, I am not doing either. It seems I have plum run out of gas and willpower at the same time. Shoot me, sue me, but "deal".
I could not get to bed until very late and I could not wake up until mid-afternoon. Why? If I knew this and had a means of adjusting it I wouldn't be writing because I would be too busy figuring out the next tech advance, factory design, or firearm design to come down the pike. Or even out checking for game herds, for hunting and camping season. I wouldn't be sitting here writing foolish notes about the progress of a cripple. *boo hoo* As my mothers would all have said. Well, on the bright side, no one can deny vast improvements in the last few years, even with the extreme illness this last winter/spring.
That bit of biking is helping quite a bit. I have been physically tightening these last years, as I do more than sit. I have been continually doing more. First just leaving the house more often, more regularly, and keeping appointments. I have been gaining access, for the most part, to full days. And finally I am beginning to do actual activity that is designed specifically for getting fitter, gaining stamina, and all that.
I think what I am going to try and do is spend a week on the bike, then the next week taking hikes. Switching between the two will give my muscles a chance to be worked, well rested, then worked again. After I gain a little wiggle room, then add weights perhaps twice a week. While taking Ritalin, I was able to do straight weights and swimming both, and three times a week, my current (even if vastly improved) condition does not allow for those kinds of workouts. Au natural is not enough for that much, at least not yet. To that end, I will ride my bike again today, and maybe Saturday. And, I would like to get my weight bench set up. Next week will be a week of hikes, perhaps three minor hikes, just to see where I am. My pack, hat, and boots are finally ready to take the first steps into that new territory. Damn but it is delicious.
Today? A bike ride, a bit more work on the wood, dishes, and perhaps bedding through the laundry. Not much time for much more, and nothing outside until it cools a bit. I should have seen the exhaustion coming but I was so busy running for the goal line, this time, that I didn't see the snag wire. It has been two weeks of fine effort. And while I have been running out of gas toward the end of the weeks, I just haven't been quitting even if sometimes that ends my actual success.
Run, Forest, run! Why did you yell that to me while I was headed for a brick wall? :p
Oh, stolen from Interested-Participant, something to... add a little song to your life.
Have a great day.
.
Just like I was going to be quiet, and just like I was going to get things done today, I am not doing either. It seems I have plum run out of gas and willpower at the same time. Shoot me, sue me, but "deal".
I could not get to bed until very late and I could not wake up until mid-afternoon. Why? If I knew this and had a means of adjusting it I wouldn't be writing because I would be too busy figuring out the next tech advance, factory design, or firearm design to come down the pike. Or even out checking for game herds, for hunting and camping season. I wouldn't be sitting here writing foolish notes about the progress of a cripple. *boo hoo* As my mothers would all have said. Well, on the bright side, no one can deny vast improvements in the last few years, even with the extreme illness this last winter/spring.
That bit of biking is helping quite a bit. I have been physically tightening these last years, as I do more than sit. I have been continually doing more. First just leaving the house more often, more regularly, and keeping appointments. I have been gaining access, for the most part, to full days. And finally I am beginning to do actual activity that is designed specifically for getting fitter, gaining stamina, and all that.
I think what I am going to try and do is spend a week on the bike, then the next week taking hikes. Switching between the two will give my muscles a chance to be worked, well rested, then worked again. After I gain a little wiggle room, then add weights perhaps twice a week. While taking Ritalin, I was able to do straight weights and swimming both, and three times a week, my current (even if vastly improved) condition does not allow for those kinds of workouts. Au natural is not enough for that much, at least not yet. To that end, I will ride my bike again today, and maybe Saturday. And, I would like to get my weight bench set up. Next week will be a week of hikes, perhaps three minor hikes, just to see where I am. My pack, hat, and boots are finally ready to take the first steps into that new territory. Damn but it is delicious.
Today? A bike ride, a bit more work on the wood, dishes, and perhaps bedding through the laundry. Not much time for much more, and nothing outside until it cools a bit. I should have seen the exhaustion coming but I was so busy running for the goal line, this time, that I didn't see the snag wire. It has been two weeks of fine effort. And while I have been running out of gas toward the end of the weeks, I just haven't been quitting even if sometimes that ends my actual success.
Run, Forest, run! Why did you yell that to me while I was headed for a brick wall? :p
Oh, stolen from Interested-Participant, something to... add a little song to your life.
Have a great day.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Blathering all day.
.
.
Ah well, I think it means I am doing better. Some things just get out of control, to a degree. Blogging is one of those things. Then again, I have kept other things under control this time. My chastity, for one. That... was more important for me than controlling my blog blathering. While idle chatter might be more of the venal variety, chastity goes to much more important things. But, yes, I will work on the blathering. Maybe a minor hiatus from blathering. If you don't hear from me for a few days, you will know why. Of course, of course, I will indicate how active I have been and what I have done. Consider it a temporary internet vow of silence and it will include comments.
What do you all think, two days, three days, a week? You can also vote for whatever time period, or even forever, but unless you would be willing to make that happen, know that I can't.
Good night good people.
.
Ah well, I think it means I am doing better. Some things just get out of control, to a degree. Blogging is one of those things. Then again, I have kept other things under control this time. My chastity, for one. That... was more important for me than controlling my blog blathering. While idle chatter might be more of the venal variety, chastity goes to much more important things. But, yes, I will work on the blathering. Maybe a minor hiatus from blathering. If you don't hear from me for a few days, you will know why. Of course, of course, I will indicate how active I have been and what I have done. Consider it a temporary internet vow of silence and it will include comments.
What do you all think, two days, three days, a week? You can also vote for whatever time period, or even forever, but unless you would be willing to make that happen, know that I can't.
Good night good people.
Finally, a bit of real work.
.
.
Without working up a sweat I never feel like I have accomplished anything, save in engineering. Actually, sometimes that heavy of thought processes did raise a sweat. Is that normal? Well, then again, with time and grades on the line, stress is involved. Then again again, I would guess working on some arbitrary schedule (too little time) with your job on the line would be at least as stressful, especially near crunch time. I got half a wheelbarrow full of decent sized twigs, some as thick as three inches but most in the half inch to inch range in diameter. Much of it is too small. I love it when I write about something and eventually get to it. Especially what I claim to be real work. Yes, I guess I do like to work. I forget sometimes. Oh, and by the way, a hatchet is absolutely useless for twigs. Now I know. My hands and my knee, failing that my foot and weight, failing that the saw. No hatchet work needed at all. Still, perhaps a hatchet is good for something? I have one, in any case.
I also went online to research how to store the wood. Hmm, looks like a building project, to me. And another purchase, say a tarp for over it. While I like the old burlap, it just doesn't hold up. The new plasti-stuff lasts forever, doesn't mold if water isn't allowed to pool, so I will go with that. A simple raised platform of various two by fours, and maybe corner four by fours, of treated lumber, with cross bracing here and there, should do find and set me up for larger wood curing should I ever make it that far. Perhaps out back by the fence, away from outhouses, garage, and of course my home. And so another project goes into the books, more supplies on the list, and the world turns. Bleh. But... but... I will, I promise. Right after I get to that solar oven built! Which means I need to figure out how to get the wood and other supplies for that. Arghhhh!
I also went on line to look for the bike path site the bike guy told me about. I had forgotten the name. It is different from the one I have and is excellent. And, as I might have expected but not necessarily, the bike trails are often the very same hiking trails I have seen on hiking links. Some of which I have maps at the ready for, now. Still, one really doesn't know unless you see for sure that the two activities can be done on the same paths. Not all, from what I am seeing, are mutual use. Further, my bike can't do the more technical trails. I am not sure I would even trust my bike to a moderate trail, with the front brake having come broken and the kickstand already having broken off (just from moving it in and out of the garage to work on it, I don't think I had even ridden it yet). However, I will be hiking those paths long before I ever bike them. Biking is brutal, to me, compared to hiking, inclines or no.
It might not have been the day I had planned. I might not have gotten done the things I had planned, hoped. But I certainly plowed through a ton of planning, information gathering that really was vital, and other chores and projects, and I still got a lick or two of real work in. I guess, some days, that is how it goes. And, damn it, I really am in the saddle again. Now to get the 'horse' to follow my lead! I may not be doing half, or even a quarter, of what you do. But I am doing ten times what I have ever been able to do for decades. :)
It is odd though. The more I can do, the hell-a-lot more there IS to do. How is it that the more I get done the more there is to do after having quite satisfactorily survived decades of near nothingness? This, as I will remind you again, is not a place of answers. Only questions. Hopefully good ones. Later, maybe good night.
.
Without working up a sweat I never feel like I have accomplished anything, save in engineering. Actually, sometimes that heavy of thought processes did raise a sweat. Is that normal? Well, then again, with time and grades on the line, stress is involved. Then again again, I would guess working on some arbitrary schedule (too little time) with your job on the line would be at least as stressful, especially near crunch time. I got half a wheelbarrow full of decent sized twigs, some as thick as three inches but most in the half inch to inch range in diameter. Much of it is too small. I love it when I write about something and eventually get to it. Especially what I claim to be real work. Yes, I guess I do like to work. I forget sometimes. Oh, and by the way, a hatchet is absolutely useless for twigs. Now I know. My hands and my knee, failing that my foot and weight, failing that the saw. No hatchet work needed at all. Still, perhaps a hatchet is good for something? I have one, in any case.
I also went online to research how to store the wood. Hmm, looks like a building project, to me. And another purchase, say a tarp for over it. While I like the old burlap, it just doesn't hold up. The new plasti-stuff lasts forever, doesn't mold if water isn't allowed to pool, so I will go with that. A simple raised platform of various two by fours, and maybe corner four by fours, of treated lumber, with cross bracing here and there, should do find and set me up for larger wood curing should I ever make it that far. Perhaps out back by the fence, away from outhouses, garage, and of course my home. And so another project goes into the books, more supplies on the list, and the world turns. Bleh. But... but... I will, I promise. Right after I get to that solar oven built! Which means I need to figure out how to get the wood and other supplies for that. Arghhhh!
I also went on line to look for the bike path site the bike guy told me about. I had forgotten the name. It is different from the one I have and is excellent. And, as I might have expected but not necessarily, the bike trails are often the very same hiking trails I have seen on hiking links. Some of which I have maps at the ready for, now. Still, one really doesn't know unless you see for sure that the two activities can be done on the same paths. Not all, from what I am seeing, are mutual use. Further, my bike can't do the more technical trails. I am not sure I would even trust my bike to a moderate trail, with the front brake having come broken and the kickstand already having broken off (just from moving it in and out of the garage to work on it, I don't think I had even ridden it yet). However, I will be hiking those paths long before I ever bike them. Biking is brutal, to me, compared to hiking, inclines or no.
It might not have been the day I had planned. I might not have gotten done the things I had planned, hoped. But I certainly plowed through a ton of planning, information gathering that really was vital, and other chores and projects, and I still got a lick or two of real work in. I guess, some days, that is how it goes. And, damn it, I really am in the saddle again. Now to get the 'horse' to follow my lead! I may not be doing half, or even a quarter, of what you do. But I am doing ten times what I have ever been able to do for decades. :)
It is odd though. The more I can do, the hell-a-lot more there IS to do. How is it that the more I get done the more there is to do after having quite satisfactorily survived decades of near nothingness? This, as I will remind you again, is not a place of answers. Only questions. Hopefully good ones. Later, maybe good night.
Nice.
.
.
A nap does a bit of good. I know some people think a 15 minute power nap is all they need. I think they must be choking caffeine down like idiots or a special breed. Okay, I take that back, I am a special breed. Half man, half turtle, with just a little bit of snail in there somehow too. I am low and slow. Slower. Slower. Ah, there we go. How much is illness, how much is nature, I will never know. It wasn't nurture, my mothers were all psychotic workaholics. And in their proximity, work was demanded and failure was not an option or cost far too much to consider. It was said, by one and all of them, that to see if I was moving, when doing my slave labor anyway, that lining me up with the corner of a building was needed to ensure movement was actually occurring. I hope they strained their eyes, too.
Anyway, I might head out with the hatchet, a saw, and a chair, and get to working on the wood. At least I will get some work that feels real done. I hated today. Yes, I actually did a LOT of work. I made a dozen calls, set up some appointments, attempted to get my medicines right, created access for my mother to visit. I truly did a woman's job today. Not a man's man job, but what women do and well. If even better women also clean, cook, tend a baby or three, and themselves, on top of it (don't expect to find a good women, though, they are rarer than hen's teeth).
Oh, waking a bit grumpy? Maybe. Eat me. Fire in the belly from phonecallitis? Frustrated with dainty work when I had real projects in mind? A dream or three? I don't know. Anyway, back in the saddle with a head of steam to work off. HRuMPH! Later.
.
A nap does a bit of good. I know some people think a 15 minute power nap is all they need. I think they must be choking caffeine down like idiots or a special breed. Okay, I take that back, I am a special breed. Half man, half turtle, with just a little bit of snail in there somehow too. I am low and slow. Slower. Slower. Ah, there we go. How much is illness, how much is nature, I will never know. It wasn't nurture, my mothers were all psychotic workaholics. And in their proximity, work was demanded and failure was not an option or cost far too much to consider. It was said, by one and all of them, that to see if I was moving, when doing my slave labor anyway, that lining me up with the corner of a building was needed to ensure movement was actually occurring. I hope they strained their eyes, too.
Anyway, I might head out with the hatchet, a saw, and a chair, and get to working on the wood. At least I will get some work that feels real done. I hated today. Yes, I actually did a LOT of work. I made a dozen calls, set up some appointments, attempted to get my medicines right, created access for my mother to visit. I truly did a woman's job today. Not a man's man job, but what women do and well. If even better women also clean, cook, tend a baby or three, and themselves, on top of it (don't expect to find a good women, though, they are rarer than hen's teeth).
Oh, waking a bit grumpy? Maybe. Eat me. Fire in the belly from phonecallitis? Frustrated with dainty work when I had real projects in mind? A dream or three? I don't know. Anyway, back in the saddle with a head of steam to work off. HRuMPH! Later.
More phone calls?
.
.
Incoming!
Yeah, well, it seems I stirred up a hornets nest. Calls back, requiring other outgoing calls, phone tag, and... If I did do a lot, it still feels like I did nothing. Too late to even drive into town as everything will be closed. While these calls were necessary, and while I might be a bit of a prude for not even considering trying to drive, talk on a phone, and take down dates, that is just the way of it. I still have a bunch of business to do, of course. I don't know how people who do this sort of thing for a living stay sane! Even with a smart phone, which I have and use, note pads and pens always right here, phone numbers and contact information readily available... between people calling over people, people not understanding what you are saying and doing whatever it is they think they should or shouldn't do anyway, people not calling back when they should, and... Then again, most people who do this for a living don't have a personal stake in the things being done, so long as they can show they did their part, for their part.
You know what? That actually wore me out more than my bike rides do. A day of phone call business is like an all day drive into, around, and back from SLC on a heavy traffic day in high heat! It's insane.
Since I didn't end up having the time to get to town, and while I was taking care of business, I decided to look around for a book list, again. Vox didn't respond to a query and I really didn't see a list of books at his blog (main blog?). I went to Glen Becks, but too didn't see a definitive list. Instead I just went to Amz dot com and typed in at least one title I could remember, then following a list from there. I ended up with about ten books, mostly economic, mostly in line with my understands, though there are a few potentially merely philosophical books and a black sheep too.
I went with "Capitalism and Freedom" by Milton Friedman; "The Road to Serfdom" and "The Fatal Conceit" by F.A. Hayek; "Economy in one Lesson" by H. Hazlit; "The Wealth of Nations" by Adam Smith; "Second Treatise of Government" by J. Locke; "The Theory of Money and Credit" by Ludwig von Mises; "The Politics" by Aristotle; "The Republic" and "Four Texts on Socrates" by Plato, and finally "The Communist Manifesto" by K. Marx. Some of these are going to be a bear to get through, others shouldn't be a problem. While not a true wizard of the mind, philosophy, economics, or anything else, I do have a decent mind and ability to consume, and spit out, data. I don't honestly know what I am looking for in the books. And, to be honest, even if I found and understood the truth, somehow, from reading... it doesn't matter, save academically. The world will do what it does regardless of the truth. Much like religion, even if you know God, Christ, The Holy Spirit, no matter if you have and hold hope, faith, and charity... you might still be crucified. As a fact, if the bible holds truth and that truth has some literal correlation, expect to be killed for the truth (unless you consider yourself lucky and are willing to live by hiding away... or... fibbing about God).
No, I have no idea what I will find, learn, end up believing, or being able to do more than chatter about it. These things, even if you found the truth, will not bring one man to prosperity. As with all things, there are better and worse general paths to success. But for every success there are more failures, it is only the ratio that is tweaked by wiser governance. As well, these notions simply and often do not concern themselves with personal behaviors, more into theory relative to how to govern large groups of people.
As for people saying they saw the crash coming? Well, I won't say they saw the crash coming so much as they understood (if they did indeed understand, which is a debate to itself) that certain cause and effect relationships would lead to such situations. A man who sees a fool under a hoisted wrecking ball, who notices that the man is about to release the wrecking ball above him might shout a warning, might warn the man, but he doesn't necessarily need to know a thing about the mechanics of a crane, physics and higher mathematics, or any damn thing. An introduction to empirical evidence would lead him to the conclusion. Same with economics. Just because you notice something going wrong doesn't mean you did so because you know what IS true. If you truly understood economics, you would be a trillionaire and keep getting richer, while staying quiet, on your newly purchased island, say... Australia. No one actually knows, and to my mind most extremely wealthy people have simply learned to fuck everyone around them (who don't really care as long as their needs are met, sheep are neither brave nor full of forethought, they just want to be owned and cared for and ignore the whole slaughterhouse thing).
Well. I am blathering again. Time for a nap, the first one in weeks... stupid calls. Oh, by the way, no, I don't hate the rich. I just don't see them as being necessarily laudable, either. They are what they are, a necessary evil no less so than government itself. Nor do I care all that much for sheeple. I just... think what I think, say what I say, and move on to the next fight. *Zzz!*
Later.
.
Incoming!
Yeah, well, it seems I stirred up a hornets nest. Calls back, requiring other outgoing calls, phone tag, and... If I did do a lot, it still feels like I did nothing. Too late to even drive into town as everything will be closed. While these calls were necessary, and while I might be a bit of a prude for not even considering trying to drive, talk on a phone, and take down dates, that is just the way of it. I still have a bunch of business to do, of course. I don't know how people who do this sort of thing for a living stay sane! Even with a smart phone, which I have and use, note pads and pens always right here, phone numbers and contact information readily available... between people calling over people, people not understanding what you are saying and doing whatever it is they think they should or shouldn't do anyway, people not calling back when they should, and... Then again, most people who do this for a living don't have a personal stake in the things being done, so long as they can show they did their part, for their part.
You know what? That actually wore me out more than my bike rides do. A day of phone call business is like an all day drive into, around, and back from SLC on a heavy traffic day in high heat! It's insane.
Since I didn't end up having the time to get to town, and while I was taking care of business, I decided to look around for a book list, again. Vox didn't respond to a query and I really didn't see a list of books at his blog (main blog?). I went to Glen Becks, but too didn't see a definitive list. Instead I just went to Amz dot com and typed in at least one title I could remember, then following a list from there. I ended up with about ten books, mostly economic, mostly in line with my understands, though there are a few potentially merely philosophical books and a black sheep too.
I went with "Capitalism and Freedom" by Milton Friedman; "The Road to Serfdom" and "The Fatal Conceit" by F.A. Hayek; "Economy in one Lesson" by H. Hazlit; "The Wealth of Nations" by Adam Smith; "Second Treatise of Government" by J. Locke; "The Theory of Money and Credit" by Ludwig von Mises; "The Politics" by Aristotle; "The Republic" and "Four Texts on Socrates" by Plato, and finally "The Communist Manifesto" by K. Marx. Some of these are going to be a bear to get through, others shouldn't be a problem. While not a true wizard of the mind, philosophy, economics, or anything else, I do have a decent mind and ability to consume, and spit out, data. I don't honestly know what I am looking for in the books. And, to be honest, even if I found and understood the truth, somehow, from reading... it doesn't matter, save academically. The world will do what it does regardless of the truth. Much like religion, even if you know God, Christ, The Holy Spirit, no matter if you have and hold hope, faith, and charity... you might still be crucified. As a fact, if the bible holds truth and that truth has some literal correlation, expect to be killed for the truth (unless you consider yourself lucky and are willing to live by hiding away... or... fibbing about God).
No, I have no idea what I will find, learn, end up believing, or being able to do more than chatter about it. These things, even if you found the truth, will not bring one man to prosperity. As with all things, there are better and worse general paths to success. But for every success there are more failures, it is only the ratio that is tweaked by wiser governance. As well, these notions simply and often do not concern themselves with personal behaviors, more into theory relative to how to govern large groups of people.
As for people saying they saw the crash coming? Well, I won't say they saw the crash coming so much as they understood (if they did indeed understand, which is a debate to itself) that certain cause and effect relationships would lead to such situations. A man who sees a fool under a hoisted wrecking ball, who notices that the man is about to release the wrecking ball above him might shout a warning, might warn the man, but he doesn't necessarily need to know a thing about the mechanics of a crane, physics and higher mathematics, or any damn thing. An introduction to empirical evidence would lead him to the conclusion. Same with economics. Just because you notice something going wrong doesn't mean you did so because you know what IS true. If you truly understood economics, you would be a trillionaire and keep getting richer, while staying quiet, on your newly purchased island, say... Australia. No one actually knows, and to my mind most extremely wealthy people have simply learned to fuck everyone around them (who don't really care as long as their needs are met, sheep are neither brave nor full of forethought, they just want to be owned and cared for and ignore the whole slaughterhouse thing).
Well. I am blathering again. Time for a nap, the first one in weeks... stupid calls. Oh, by the way, no, I don't hate the rich. I just don't see them as being necessarily laudable, either. They are what they are, a necessary evil no less so than government itself. Nor do I care all that much for sheeple. I just... think what I think, say what I say, and move on to the next fight. *Zzz!*
Later.
Well, maybe not SLC today.
.
.
A few more phone calls to do a few more things and time has completely gotten away from me. No long drive today, which I suppose is fine. I can just tend my taxes today and do some shopping and take a bike ride. No, no, not the bike. I do need a day off from that. As short as my rides have been, they have been having an affect. I am not sore, or stiff. But if I ride, I will be again, and maybe this time it will stick around for more than three or four hours. So, getting some things done locally, and more dishes, seems to be the plan of attack. I did set up the angiography for when my mother will be here though. They wanted to set it up for next Tuesday! Not quite. Oh, and I best find a hotel near the V.A. and make reservations, one with a shuttle service to the V.A.
After the trouble I have been having with services, business transactions, professional consultations, and just a general feeling of being unwanted, I am almost afraid to leave my house today! Maybe it has something to do with turning 45 yesterday? No, it's been a week or more that has been troubling and I didn't remember what day it was until my mother sang that song on my message service. Oh, right, thanks mom. :p
Hmm, I best get to it. Finally. Maybe. Crap. Have a great day.
.
A few more phone calls to do a few more things and time has completely gotten away from me. No long drive today, which I suppose is fine. I can just tend my taxes today and do some shopping and take a bike ride. No, no, not the bike. I do need a day off from that. As short as my rides have been, they have been having an affect. I am not sore, or stiff. But if I ride, I will be again, and maybe this time it will stick around for more than three or four hours. So, getting some things done locally, and more dishes, seems to be the plan of attack. I did set up the angiography for when my mother will be here though. They wanted to set it up for next Tuesday! Not quite. Oh, and I best find a hotel near the V.A. and make reservations, one with a shuttle service to the V.A.
After the trouble I have been having with services, business transactions, professional consultations, and just a general feeling of being unwanted, I am almost afraid to leave my house today! Maybe it has something to do with turning 45 yesterday? No, it's been a week or more that has been troubling and I didn't remember what day it was until my mother sang that song on my message service. Oh, right, thanks mom. :p
Hmm, I best get to it. Finally. Maybe. Crap. Have a great day.
I think the world is insane.
.
.
Yesterday, getting my card to work, it was like pulling teeth. The bike guy I spoke with... knew very little, I think he works on bikes and rides them, but... The medicines I ordered? I got the wrong ones. Actually, I got ones I had ordered the last time that were supposed to have already been on the way but obviously weren't. And my card, after getting everything set up, didn't work on the tickets I ordered last night. I just got off the phone. They suggested, on top of everything, that I put the wrong expiration date in (I know I didn't). I think the only thing that has worked half well has been ordering from McDonald, but I still check it every time or it WILL be wrong. Has the world just turned to absolute shit? This whole week, dealing with businesses and workers has been an absolute hassle. No one knows, no one cares, no one can get simple things right, no one even seems to try. Is "the system" simply collapsing? Drugs, cellphone addiction, fear? It is in the air.
Never mind. I am up, a bit later than I had hoped, and about ready to head into town. First some tax stuff. Then a trip to SLC to pick up the other medicines and put in my application for a ccp. As I have it, the FBI background check has ground to a halt, but state law requires the state to issue in a set period of time. If the FBI check comes back bad, the state then cancels the permit. There are often mistakes on the permit. It seems state workers just can't get simple things right, though I think the bureau is full of people who don't think people should have guns, too. Leftist activists take jobs where they believe they can influence outcomes, and then get to work doing so. Activists have no other purpose than to affect your life, they have no functional part to play in actual production so, of course, end up in government. Bah!
Anyway, here I go, on another day. Well, right after ordering those tickets, again, again, and calling to make sure the V.A. knows I am coming and has the correct medicine ready for me to pick up. I certainly hope you have been having better luck. Vampires, werewolves, witches, zombies, and lichs indeed.
Update: The tickets are, now, purchased. Upon reviewing things I think I did put in the wrong month on the date. Okay, but that was just one of dozens, and the only one that was 'my bad'. I also called about losartin, the medicine that was supposed to be being sent last week or more. Nope, that is just being sent today, I am told. Huh? Never mind. And they can't set it up for me for a quick pick-up. I will have to go in, take a number, talk to a pharmacist when my number is up, tell them the problem, hopefully get a two week supply, and then wait in another line. I... think I'll turn in my application first. There goes my day, but I did get business that was supposed to be done completed. I have done a goodly lot for doing nothing already, if all of it was supposed to be already done. *shrug*
Oh, and I sent the flight information to my mother's friend, who will figure things out for her. I then called her to let her know, for sure, the tickets are purchased (and that I had forwarded the information to her friend). And she and I agreed to try and set up the angiography for when she is here. I don't like letting them goof until I know the medicines will or won't work, but I like the prospect of being down and out and alone (again) even less. So, there is that. Oh, I best call and try to arrange that. Ugh... One more call and then I can get ready to travel. Paying taxes will have to wait. *double shrugs*
.
Yesterday, getting my card to work, it was like pulling teeth. The bike guy I spoke with... knew very little, I think he works on bikes and rides them, but... The medicines I ordered? I got the wrong ones. Actually, I got ones I had ordered the last time that were supposed to have already been on the way but obviously weren't. And my card, after getting everything set up, didn't work on the tickets I ordered last night. I just got off the phone. They suggested, on top of everything, that I put the wrong expiration date in (I know I didn't). I think the only thing that has worked half well has been ordering from McDonald, but I still check it every time or it WILL be wrong. Has the world just turned to absolute shit? This whole week, dealing with businesses and workers has been an absolute hassle. No one knows, no one cares, no one can get simple things right, no one even seems to try. Is "the system" simply collapsing? Drugs, cellphone addiction, fear? It is in the air.
Never mind. I am up, a bit later than I had hoped, and about ready to head into town. First some tax stuff. Then a trip to SLC to pick up the other medicines and put in my application for a ccp. As I have it, the FBI background check has ground to a halt, but state law requires the state to issue in a set period of time. If the FBI check comes back bad, the state then cancels the permit. There are often mistakes on the permit. It seems state workers just can't get simple things right, though I think the bureau is full of people who don't think people should have guns, too. Leftist activists take jobs where they believe they can influence outcomes, and then get to work doing so. Activists have no other purpose than to affect your life, they have no functional part to play in actual production so, of course, end up in government. Bah!
Anyway, here I go, on another day. Well, right after ordering those tickets, again, again, and calling to make sure the V.A. knows I am coming and has the correct medicine ready for me to pick up. I certainly hope you have been having better luck. Vampires, werewolves, witches, zombies, and lichs indeed.
Update: The tickets are, now, purchased. Upon reviewing things I think I did put in the wrong month on the date. Okay, but that was just one of dozens, and the only one that was 'my bad'. I also called about losartin, the medicine that was supposed to be being sent last week or more. Nope, that is just being sent today, I am told. Huh? Never mind. And they can't set it up for me for a quick pick-up. I will have to go in, take a number, talk to a pharmacist when my number is up, tell them the problem, hopefully get a two week supply, and then wait in another line. I... think I'll turn in my application first. There goes my day, but I did get business that was supposed to be done completed. I have done a goodly lot for doing nothing already, if all of it was supposed to be already done. *shrug*
Oh, and I sent the flight information to my mother's friend, who will figure things out for her. I then called her to let her know, for sure, the tickets are purchased (and that I had forwarded the information to her friend). And she and I agreed to try and set up the angiography for when she is here. I don't like letting them goof until I know the medicines will or won't work, but I like the prospect of being down and out and alone (again) even less. So, there is that. Oh, I best call and try to arrange that. Ugh... One more call and then I can get ready to travel. Paying taxes will have to wait. *double shrugs*
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Oh, just a bit more.
.
.
Mail and a bike ride, tickets for my mother, and a few other things. Of course, I might get to more things too, if I doubt it. The bike ride was short tonight. It was really for the sole purpose of picking up my mail. The only muscles that are sore are my quads. No problem, with the probability of an all day out of town driving tomorrow my legs will get a day of rest. I am surprised they are sore, being that I have ridden such short distances. Then again, as I surmised, those muscles aren't used for anything but biking, at least at that angle, in that way. All is good. On the other hand, I am glad they are stiff. It means I am not just trying to add wind alone. I am using muscles. That is, after all, my goal.
I have no idea what to do. Most likely a bit of time relaxing and trying to cool off and to bed as early as possible. The earlier to bed, the earlier I rise, the earlier I can hit the road, the sooner I can be home, the quicker I can cool down and get ready for my next day and whatever it might bring.
Have a good night.
.
Mail and a bike ride, tickets for my mother, and a few other things. Of course, I might get to more things too, if I doubt it. The bike ride was short tonight. It was really for the sole purpose of picking up my mail. The only muscles that are sore are my quads. No problem, with the probability of an all day out of town driving tomorrow my legs will get a day of rest. I am surprised they are sore, being that I have ridden such short distances. Then again, as I surmised, those muscles aren't used for anything but biking, at least at that angle, in that way. All is good. On the other hand, I am glad they are stiff. It means I am not just trying to add wind alone. I am using muscles. That is, after all, my goal.
I have no idea what to do. Most likely a bit of time relaxing and trying to cool off and to bed as early as possible. The earlier to bed, the earlier I rise, the earlier I can hit the road, the sooner I can be home, the quicker I can cool down and get ready for my next day and whatever it might bring.
Have a good night.
Some of it.
.
.
I did get into town. Dealing with the debit card took a lot... you know this... longer than what it was supposed to take. But it is cleared up, functioning, and with a new pin number to boot. I always change those from what the card says. Having stretched my time there, I had no time to check on the auto and home taxes. I believe my taxes are minimized, due to my status. My home taxes are supposed to be being paid automatically through an escrow, beyond that. Still, I have some amount to pay and I want to be sure about these things. I did have time to pick up a hatchet and to buy a new kickstand for my bike. I also tried to get more information regarding panniers (saddle bags for bikes) and trailers but there was little information to be had. The fellow did have a website suggestion for paths in northern Utah though.
Late getting up, slow moving, but it's all good. I might even get in one bike ride yet today. And, with my card finally activated and functioning, I will probably order the ticket for my mother's visit shortly. As well, I do hope to get some dishes done tonight as well. I suspect I will go in tomorrow for the taxes, and perhaps keep on going until I make it to SLC to put in my application for a permit. Which will pretty much eat the whole day. Then again, as well as I am doing comparatively, I might be able to take another bike ride when I get back. No promises though, long hot rides have a way of cooking off any enthusiasm or energy.
It seems no matter how much I do I am simply racing to catch up to get to a position that is slightly behind far-too-slow-far-too-late. But that I both see and am able to try to at least get things in order means a great deal. This is a new world for me. I am still missing medicine. I think I am going to put a reminder into my smart phone for the two med-times. Ah well. It is still all good.
.
I did get into town. Dealing with the debit card took a lot... you know this... longer than what it was supposed to take. But it is cleared up, functioning, and with a new pin number to boot. I always change those from what the card says. Having stretched my time there, I had no time to check on the auto and home taxes. I believe my taxes are minimized, due to my status. My home taxes are supposed to be being paid automatically through an escrow, beyond that. Still, I have some amount to pay and I want to be sure about these things. I did have time to pick up a hatchet and to buy a new kickstand for my bike. I also tried to get more information regarding panniers (saddle bags for bikes) and trailers but there was little information to be had. The fellow did have a website suggestion for paths in northern Utah though.
Late getting up, slow moving, but it's all good. I might even get in one bike ride yet today. And, with my card finally activated and functioning, I will probably order the ticket for my mother's visit shortly. As well, I do hope to get some dishes done tonight as well. I suspect I will go in tomorrow for the taxes, and perhaps keep on going until I make it to SLC to put in my application for a permit. Which will pretty much eat the whole day. Then again, as well as I am doing comparatively, I might be able to take another bike ride when I get back. No promises though, long hot rides have a way of cooking off any enthusiasm or energy.
It seems no matter how much I do I am simply racing to catch up to get to a position that is slightly behind far-too-slow-far-too-late. But that I both see and am able to try to at least get things in order means a great deal. This is a new world for me. I am still missing medicine. I think I am going to put a reminder into my smart phone for the two med-times. Ah well. It is still all good.
Alright already.
.
.
I never did get to dishes. Simply put, what I did yesterday is what I could do. I couldn't get to bed as early as hoped either. I just could not cool down and back it off enough to allow that slide into nighttime bliss that is sleep. I slept quite well, when I did find that gift. A good night's sleep at that. And, I am going to hit it again today. Perhaps taking an earlier ride and maybe taking care of things with a little more active pursuit will see me to a more successful day. Then again, until I have some wind and can combine that with all else, exercise might simply be the crux of my days. A quick bike ride, a shower, and into town for a dozen things it seems. Dishes and a later ride might be subject to what I have left of me to give. It's all good.
While there are things to consider, I have always suspected that being overweight is better than being underweight and possibly more if I kept that under my hat. It seems that being overweight usually is fine, health-wise. There is the gluttony angle, of course. And their is the modernist puritanical social norm making being fat a modernist sin. But truth be told, being overweight is just fine. If you can't make those little changes to your life which will allow you to permanently lose some weight, your best bet is to simply maintain your weight, right where it is. And, yes, it does make sense.
While I think Rick Perry is another Bush, I also think he is probably the nominee to watch. What Americans really want is to again be working, then to become rich enough that they think the Yes-men called Democrats will be electable again (so that they as a group can get richer, off taxpayers, again). Bleh. Well, the requirement is more jobs, for the moment. And Perry has that in the bag. What else isn't mentioned is... Texas is adding jobs gangbuster... right through the worst drought Texas has ever faced. Now THAT is what you do with a crisis, having poor grades, Obama. Look at their revenues, spending, and this. RIGHT THROUGH THE WORST DROUGHT EVER. Live and learn, though honestly... you aren't capable. Can't give it all to Perry, but if the 'captain' gets all the blame in bad times, he gets a goodly share of the credit when it is good, too. Oh, Obama, here is something else for you, regarding your artiste friends. Do note, the beating was done by your own.
On to other good news. I have been aware of what Girl Scout leaders, and on into YWCA (didn't they change, taking the "C", for Christian, out of the name?), have been doing and teaching for quite some time. It seems mothers are learning and yanking their daughters out of that cesspool of modernity. It is good to see THAT cookie crumble. There are better options. I note the Mormons seem to have their own girl camps and groups, Catholics too.
I read about this, and have to think that the franc is being bolster by people who are afraid to put it all in gold and are temporarily falling back to what used to be true, that the franc is where you put money if all else failed. For centuries, maybe more, it has been the refuge of scoundrels and saints. Many German Jews put their money into the franc to preserve it before the worst of things when Hitler ruled, as did the NAZIs on their way out or when they realized it was over. It seems, however, that they can't handle the influx on the franc, not given modern markets. The people are being crushed by their reputation as a financial safe haven. It's a new age, there are new rules. I would be pulling my hidden stash out so fast heads would spin. But then again, where to put it? Billionaires simply don't have that big of a mattress and know most currency is or will be crashed, gold isn't portable, land can be squatted, oil is owned, so... what? And of course, the neo-modern standbys are falling apart too. Oh well. Uhrm, not my problem. I'm just trying to save enough to buy a bit more food or a couple of hand tools. I guess I don't have a lot of pity. I see it all as something akin to this. Not exactly my gig.
Just so you know, I do think about... well things other than myself. I just don't always care to share it for, what must be obvious by now, very specific reasons.
Have a great day, Sire, Ma' Lady. *nod*
.
I never did get to dishes. Simply put, what I did yesterday is what I could do. I couldn't get to bed as early as hoped either. I just could not cool down and back it off enough to allow that slide into nighttime bliss that is sleep. I slept quite well, when I did find that gift. A good night's sleep at that. And, I am going to hit it again today. Perhaps taking an earlier ride and maybe taking care of things with a little more active pursuit will see me to a more successful day. Then again, until I have some wind and can combine that with all else, exercise might simply be the crux of my days. A quick bike ride, a shower, and into town for a dozen things it seems. Dishes and a later ride might be subject to what I have left of me to give. It's all good.
While there are things to consider, I have always suspected that being overweight is better than being underweight and possibly more if I kept that under my hat. It seems that being overweight usually is fine, health-wise. There is the gluttony angle, of course. And their is the modernist puritanical social norm making being fat a modernist sin. But truth be told, being overweight is just fine. If you can't make those little changes to your life which will allow you to permanently lose some weight, your best bet is to simply maintain your weight, right where it is. And, yes, it does make sense.
While I think Rick Perry is another Bush, I also think he is probably the nominee to watch. What Americans really want is to again be working, then to become rich enough that they think the Yes-men called Democrats will be electable again (so that they as a group can get richer, off taxpayers, again). Bleh. Well, the requirement is more jobs, for the moment. And Perry has that in the bag. What else isn't mentioned is... Texas is adding jobs gangbuster... right through the worst drought Texas has ever faced. Now THAT is what you do with a crisis, having poor grades, Obama. Look at their revenues, spending, and this. RIGHT THROUGH THE WORST DROUGHT EVER. Live and learn, though honestly... you aren't capable. Can't give it all to Perry, but if the 'captain' gets all the blame in bad times, he gets a goodly share of the credit when it is good, too. Oh, Obama, here is something else for you, regarding your artiste friends. Do note, the beating was done by your own.
On to other good news. I have been aware of what Girl Scout leaders, and on into YWCA (didn't they change, taking the "C", for Christian, out of the name?), have been doing and teaching for quite some time. It seems mothers are learning and yanking their daughters out of that cesspool of modernity. It is good to see THAT cookie crumble. There are better options. I note the Mormons seem to have their own girl camps and groups, Catholics too.
I read about this, and have to think that the franc is being bolster by people who are afraid to put it all in gold and are temporarily falling back to what used to be true, that the franc is where you put money if all else failed. For centuries, maybe more, it has been the refuge of scoundrels and saints. Many German Jews put their money into the franc to preserve it before the worst of things when Hitler ruled, as did the NAZIs on their way out or when they realized it was over. It seems, however, that they can't handle the influx on the franc, not given modern markets. The people are being crushed by their reputation as a financial safe haven. It's a new age, there are new rules. I would be pulling my hidden stash out so fast heads would spin. But then again, where to put it? Billionaires simply don't have that big of a mattress and know most currency is or will be crashed, gold isn't portable, land can be squatted, oil is owned, so... what? And of course, the neo-modern standbys are falling apart too. Oh well. Uhrm, not my problem. I'm just trying to save enough to buy a bit more food or a couple of hand tools. I guess I don't have a lot of pity. I see it all as something akin to this. Not exactly my gig.
Just so you know, I do think about... well things other than myself. I just don't always care to share it for, what must be obvious by now, very specific reasons.
Have a great day, Sire, Ma' Lady. *nod*
Monday, August 15, 2011
Two rides, one day.
.
.
I did get out again. You know, it sort of beats me up. My wind is weak, but so are my muscles. Though I doubt if you use the muscle package for pedaling a bike for... much more than pedaling a bike. This last ride I found part of the square of the city and... made it about a quarter of the way through it. I started becoming tuckered, so headed back, but ran into a head wind. It wasn't all that strong but it didn't need to be. Two short breaks on the way home and I was pretty pooped when I made it. Well, some of my muscles were tight and burning anyway. After a bit of jello-leg syndrome, I recovered just fine.
I still didn't get to dishes. But I might be up late again (or not). What the... Oh, I'll get to them. Sometimes I just plan more than I can really cover and that is just the way it is. I noticed if I don't count every block it actually helps to go farther. The problem with that though is I end up clean out of gas and pretty far from home. I still make it home though. But then I don't get to dishes. I simply haven't cooled down enough to gear back up. On the good side, I waved at a lot of town folk. Kids, adults, drivers, the lot. Yeah, I like this town.
Well, maybe watching a bit of television would get me to chill enough to make it into the kitchen and begin doing dishes. Hmm, maybe if I set things up to soak again, that would... yes... yes indeed. I'll let the dishwater cool while I cool and maybe I can get a couple of loads or three done before the night ends. I'll set things to a fresh soak, take a shower, watch some stupidtube, and then wash and put up what ever is in the soak. And lastly set the last little bit to soak for tomorrow. Later.
.
I did get out again. You know, it sort of beats me up. My wind is weak, but so are my muscles. Though I doubt if you use the muscle package for pedaling a bike for... much more than pedaling a bike. This last ride I found part of the square of the city and... made it about a quarter of the way through it. I started becoming tuckered, so headed back, but ran into a head wind. It wasn't all that strong but it didn't need to be. Two short breaks on the way home and I was pretty pooped when I made it. Well, some of my muscles were tight and burning anyway. After a bit of jello-leg syndrome, I recovered just fine.
I still didn't get to dishes. But I might be up late again (or not). What the... Oh, I'll get to them. Sometimes I just plan more than I can really cover and that is just the way it is. I noticed if I don't count every block it actually helps to go farther. The problem with that though is I end up clean out of gas and pretty far from home. I still make it home though. But then I don't get to dishes. I simply haven't cooled down enough to gear back up. On the good side, I waved at a lot of town folk. Kids, adults, drivers, the lot. Yeah, I like this town.
Well, maybe watching a bit of television would get me to chill enough to make it into the kitchen and begin doing dishes. Hmm, maybe if I set things up to soak again, that would... yes... yes indeed. I'll let the dishwater cool while I cool and maybe I can get a couple of loads or three done before the night ends. I'll set things to a fresh soak, take a shower, watch some stupidtube, and then wash and put up what ever is in the soak. And lastly set the last little bit to soak for tomorrow. Later.
Visitors!
.
.
Thankfully my bit of cleaning made my home somewhat more presentable and pleasant. While it is still warmer than many are used to, it is not hot and it is on it's way to being comfortable in all ways. Mormon elders, new ones. I don't know what happened last time. I think there was a new guy in the mix, another visit wasn't arranged, and something something, and then there was some illness on my part which made contact less possible? In any case, they are back. Two new guys though. But that is fine. Since I somehow missed taking the last two for dinner, I am taking these new young turks out for pizza next Thursday. I am hoping to begin a more coherent understanding of their faith. Being healthier makes that job easier.
My catechism is around, now, so I will start comparing notes. This is what I had meant to do before. Getting to things was simply not happening though. It is a good review as well, for me. And, if you are going to be a minority, it is worth knowing who your neighbors are and what they believe. This prevents stepping on toes and adds familiarity. And more, I like that these young men go out and do this. While they benefit greatly, doing what we believe God wants of us often has that affect.
Of course, company is always appreciated. I don't care who comes to my door, in one respect, so long as they are civil. My door is always open to civil discourse, learning, questioning, and such. I have water, soda, beer, and maybe a snack or two, and will happily share out what small or great things I have. And, in need, my home is also open, though on a more guarded basis. This is probably a failing, but until you have been shot, stabbed, neutralized, or dead, perhaps you don't understand my ways. I will only give my life to a brother, with brother having very particular understandings, and then only for very particular reasons. I will not sacrifice for, or even kill for, a brother in poor standing with true morality because of their lack of standing. And, it does get a bit mushy in there. No, you should know you are not in the mushy section of understanding. You would have stopped reading here long ago if so. If anything, I might be more of the questionable sort, by history if nothing else. Though history is forgivable if there is a change of heart. If I have a problem now it is in letting go of the dark understandings of the past. Yes, yes, the way is clear, I see the path, I can't always take it (as with keeping my home safe to my notions).
Anyway, on to dishes.
.
Thankfully my bit of cleaning made my home somewhat more presentable and pleasant. While it is still warmer than many are used to, it is not hot and it is on it's way to being comfortable in all ways. Mormon elders, new ones. I don't know what happened last time. I think there was a new guy in the mix, another visit wasn't arranged, and something something, and then there was some illness on my part which made contact less possible? In any case, they are back. Two new guys though. But that is fine. Since I somehow missed taking the last two for dinner, I am taking these new young turks out for pizza next Thursday. I am hoping to begin a more coherent understanding of their faith. Being healthier makes that job easier.
My catechism is around, now, so I will start comparing notes. This is what I had meant to do before. Getting to things was simply not happening though. It is a good review as well, for me. And, if you are going to be a minority, it is worth knowing who your neighbors are and what they believe. This prevents stepping on toes and adds familiarity. And more, I like that these young men go out and do this. While they benefit greatly, doing what we believe God wants of us often has that affect.
Of course, company is always appreciated. I don't care who comes to my door, in one respect, so long as they are civil. My door is always open to civil discourse, learning, questioning, and such. I have water, soda, beer, and maybe a snack or two, and will happily share out what small or great things I have. And, in need, my home is also open, though on a more guarded basis. This is probably a failing, but until you have been shot, stabbed, neutralized, or dead, perhaps you don't understand my ways. I will only give my life to a brother, with brother having very particular understandings, and then only for very particular reasons. I will not sacrifice for, or even kill for, a brother in poor standing with true morality because of their lack of standing. And, it does get a bit mushy in there. No, you should know you are not in the mushy section of understanding. You would have stopped reading here long ago if so. If anything, I might be more of the questionable sort, by history if nothing else. Though history is forgivable if there is a change of heart. If I have a problem now it is in letting go of the dark understandings of the past. Yes, yes, the way is clear, I see the path, I can't always take it (as with keeping my home safe to my notions).
Anyway, on to dishes.
Okay.
.
.
Nothing fancy, but my first ride of the day finally went ahead, but not until 15:00. I am still hoping to get another ride in later. I might take a trip to town and look for a hatchet and a kickstand, perhaps mirrors too. Well, not today. Maybe tomorrow. I also need to stop at my bank and figure out my debit card. If it was earlier, and I was sure I could check on the debit card and then be sure to do the rest, I would go. As is, I, after cleaning up to go to town, would end up just not quite making it all. And more, I want to stop in and take care of my property tax burdens while there.
I did some research before hitting the road. My notion of right, left, and stop signals were correct. The problem is they seemed so odd that I just couldn't quite believe my memory. I also looked at the rules of the road, when pedaling with traffic. My notions, there too, were good. I just... had to make sure.
Pedaling through town is fine, but I decided to pick up my mail while I was out and about this time. The mail lady I know was in this time, so I stopped and chatted just a bit. I then got back on the road and pedaled a few more blocks than last time. I did notice that taking a break really helped. While I probably can only pedal, say, 10 blocks straight, getting to the point of nearly falling off toward the end of the run, if I take breaks I can probably pedal much much further. I would guess it would still be faster than walking. If too, it might make me much more sore and less able to function at the end of a long ride. The last time I hiked, on a very mildly hilly trail, I was able to do 10 miles without a hitch and I was quite functional at the end. So much so, my lady friend (the hiker) who was with me and who was sort of dieing there at the end... I offered her a piggyback ride the last mile or two (which she declined). It probably would have killed me but I was feeling chipper enough to offer.
Oh, while reviewing bike trails here in Utah, I noticed Old Ephraim's Grave, also a hiking trail, the one I recently found the trailhead to, is a bike trail. Now, it is a 20 mile journey, with eleveation adjustments of 3,000 feet (and I believe that would be rather quickly inclined in a short span, and back down). I wouldn't mind hitting that on foot, first, but mostly just as far as I can go, taking rests as I need them, watching the time so I don't end up stuck up there at night, and seeing if I thought my bike would be up to that. I am not terribly interested in true mountain biking. Trail riding, sure, and even longer distances with some inclines and such. I'm just not into extreme sports, that is for younger men.
A shower then on to some dishes, I suppose. Finishing the laundry and maybe changing bedding and washing all of the bedding while I am at it. But dishes have priority today. And another bike ride in three or four hours. Okay, maybe I will still get to it. Oh, the mail lady said that the square of the town is about three miles. That will be an excellent way, when I get going a bit better, to prep for... Oh, I didn't tell you? My goal is to be able to make it into town (23 miles to Logan) and back. If I can't quite make it back I could always put my bike on intercity transit, hitch a ride to Smithfield, and bike the six to twelve miles home.
Why? Merely as a measure of physical fitness. Doing that a few times a month through the summer months and checking my times, trying to improve my time and ability. I did buy a more comfortable seat, but no shock absorbing post, by the way. I didn't install it. I just wanted to see if I could handle a normal seat. Even with the hard tail of the bike, I am doing just fine with the saddle seat that came with the bike. My guess is that I can pedal much more aggressively with the original seat too. I may eventually try the other seat, since I have it. But it's good to know standard is just fine.
A bit of cooling then on to dishes. Good day.
.
Nothing fancy, but my first ride of the day finally went ahead, but not until 15:00. I am still hoping to get another ride in later. I might take a trip to town and look for a hatchet and a kickstand, perhaps mirrors too. Well, not today. Maybe tomorrow. I also need to stop at my bank and figure out my debit card. If it was earlier, and I was sure I could check on the debit card and then be sure to do the rest, I would go. As is, I, after cleaning up to go to town, would end up just not quite making it all. And more, I want to stop in and take care of my property tax burdens while there.
I did some research before hitting the road. My notion of right, left, and stop signals were correct. The problem is they seemed so odd that I just couldn't quite believe my memory. I also looked at the rules of the road, when pedaling with traffic. My notions, there too, were good. I just... had to make sure.
Pedaling through town is fine, but I decided to pick up my mail while I was out and about this time. The mail lady I know was in this time, so I stopped and chatted just a bit. I then got back on the road and pedaled a few more blocks than last time. I did notice that taking a break really helped. While I probably can only pedal, say, 10 blocks straight, getting to the point of nearly falling off toward the end of the run, if I take breaks I can probably pedal much much further. I would guess it would still be faster than walking. If too, it might make me much more sore and less able to function at the end of a long ride. The last time I hiked, on a very mildly hilly trail, I was able to do 10 miles without a hitch and I was quite functional at the end. So much so, my lady friend (the hiker) who was with me and who was sort of dieing there at the end... I offered her a piggyback ride the last mile or two (which she declined). It probably would have killed me but I was feeling chipper enough to offer.
Oh, while reviewing bike trails here in Utah, I noticed Old Ephraim's Grave, also a hiking trail, the one I recently found the trailhead to, is a bike trail. Now, it is a 20 mile journey, with eleveation adjustments of 3,000 feet (and I believe that would be rather quickly inclined in a short span, and back down). I wouldn't mind hitting that on foot, first, but mostly just as far as I can go, taking rests as I need them, watching the time so I don't end up stuck up there at night, and seeing if I thought my bike would be up to that. I am not terribly interested in true mountain biking. Trail riding, sure, and even longer distances with some inclines and such. I'm just not into extreme sports, that is for younger men.
A shower then on to some dishes, I suppose. Finishing the laundry and maybe changing bedding and washing all of the bedding while I am at it. But dishes have priority today. And another bike ride in three or four hours. Okay, maybe I will still get to it. Oh, the mail lady said that the square of the town is about three miles. That will be an excellent way, when I get going a bit better, to prep for... Oh, I didn't tell you? My goal is to be able to make it into town (23 miles to Logan) and back. If I can't quite make it back I could always put my bike on intercity transit, hitch a ride to Smithfield, and bike the six to twelve miles home.
Why? Merely as a measure of physical fitness. Doing that a few times a month through the summer months and checking my times, trying to improve my time and ability. I did buy a more comfortable seat, but no shock absorbing post, by the way. I didn't install it. I just wanted to see if I could handle a normal seat. Even with the hard tail of the bike, I am doing just fine with the saddle seat that came with the bike. My guess is that I can pedal much more aggressively with the original seat too. I may eventually try the other seat, since I have it. But it's good to know standard is just fine.
A bit of cooling then on to dishes. Good day.
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