Who knows?

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I really didn't end up wanting to go into town. Something is just screwy tonight. I started to feel feverish again, and just ill. It is rather flu-like, whatever is going on. I tried to go back to sleep. First I realized I might not have taken my afternoon medicines. I hadn't. Then I thought I heard one of the cats wanting in, though that turned out to be untrue. But since I got up for those things, and while I was still up, I started thinking about at least driving into town for a meal.

I haven't eaten a meal since Sunday with my friend. I have nothing really left on hand. I thought maybe food was the problem, or even not having had caffeine in a bit. Into town I went, though I decided against shopping. I am a bit weak on my legs, it stresses my heart a bit, I think, at the moment. I got my meal and just finished it. I don't think it helped a bit, but it was good to put something warm and filling in my belly anyway. Sometimes I feel like I am being squeezed. Not really hard, just enough to be uncomfortable. And the fever coming and going. Well, actually, not a fever. I took my temp, normal. Would you call it sweats, then? I don't know. It seems to come in occasional waves of feverishness, which greatly adds to my weakness.

It has been a while since I felt this bad. It does concern me. Then again, and truly, I think this happened fairly frequently before I started taking medicine. I may have been pushing things a bit too much or it might just come and goes as the illness dictates, I just don't know. And to be honest, I don't think anyone honestly knows for certain. Most research, what little there is, is based on some medication, not on the fundamentals. I have even wondered, with diabetes going with heart failure often, if the body doesn't crave diabetes to offset some things. Where the body cannot pump enough blood, for example, perhaps diabetes provides extra heat. I was always very hot bodied when diabetes was in play, this in spite of decades of too little blood being pumped to my extremities. No, I am not saying this as an absolute, only a possibility. Like I said, I doubt if the people who are experts know (or possibly even dare ask). What if it turned out that diabetes helps people live longer with a bad ticker? How would they market that?

Oh well. I will try to get back to sleep in a bit. I don't have many alternatives. I can't stay focused, I can't do anything physical. I might read a bit though. Chesterton makes some very interesting points. It amazes me that he is writing about today's problems better than any modern writer I have yet seen. There are some entanglements reading him, of course. His allusions to authors and people of his day, sometimes footnoted, but often without much real detail. Without a personal understanding of these people it can be difficult to fully comprehend all that is written. Imagine speaking of Bill Gates, Robert Shapiro, or even Ozzy Osborne today then having someone read that in a hundred years or so. They simply wouldn't get the full context. Even his primary nemesis, arch-nemesis even, though known to me to some small degree, George Bernard Shaw, is mostly lost to me. Something about being familiar of some of the works but not really of the philosophy behind the works. By the way, they were friends. Chesterton, it is said, was actually a rather approachable fellow.

Well, discomfort is mild, just enough to make sleep light and wakefulness uncomfortable. I will do what I can. Good night.