.
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My lady friend called. It seems her finances have finally become untenable and she wanted advice about dealing with insurmountable debt, and a small loan. *larf* No, just think about that first sentence. Never mind. So, I suggested she discuss things with a legitimate professional service. I warned that most aren't, so care must be taken when choosing an organization with which to work through. "Could you, you know, look that up for me"? Of course, says I. As for the loan, she... fumbled a recent order of food. As for the loan, no. She can't pay her bills as is, how could she ever pay me? No, but I will send her what she needs and call it Christmas. It is more than I was planning on spending, but not by much. She also wants me to get a safe deposit box. No, not for cash reserves or such, but for paperwork. She has a history she would like to maintain as private. I can do that, but not until next month. Her best bet may be filing through the court at this point. She is nearing the end of her ability to work, has no real property minus a 20 year old truck as her transportation, and all of the debt is credit card based or otherwise unsecured. Still, it is quite up to her.
Oh, I know. But it is good to be somebody someone would turn to in trouble. For a gimp I do all right, and she knows it. It is killing her to ask and I am loving it. No, I am not being a punk about it either. I am just... noting it, personally, quietly. I would love to see her find herself to a better situation. I recommended this long ago, and before that offered to help her. She declined, believing she should be in control. I am pleased, humanly, to see she has finally come to her senses, even if it took driving clean over the cliff to help her do that. I have found both a not-for-profit company, with an excellent pedigree, and a for profit company, which work to mitigate debt legitimately. I checked my accounts. I could send her the whole amount she requested but it would leave me a little shy. So I will merely send her half, then the rest at the first of the month. Along with her pay day, this will help her skip through just a bit. I had hoped to leave it all in the bank, but there it is. My 'flat tire'. Hopefully it is the only one this month.
In the process I did manage to regain online access to my account still in Iowa. For whatever reason they had not been letting me in. I noticed a way to reset the password online. Otherwise I had been meaning to call, soon. It was on the list, really! I have just been quite busy. It is quite good to see what I have in that account, for sure, though.
Oh yes, it is nice to have enough to help out, in several ways, to be thought of as fit to offer advice, and to be trusted in some serious affairs. Still, she was rather fresh, I thought, to actually ask for a loan given the reason for the call. If you are poor, don't ask me for a loan. That's all I am saying. If you need, I will give what I can. Now, if she gets things back in order I might well ask for that money back in time. We will see. I absolutely love the idea that she will not have access to credit cards though. She has no idea what she is doing with them. For this I am thankful.
Oh, on to a small meal, dishes, and bed. The cat litter will just have to wait. Sometimes so it goes. Good night.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Do I want to?
.
.
No. I am dead tired. After cleaning and such this morning coupled with a late night, I simply want to fold myself into a bed and call it good. But no. I have things to do. The shower is cleaned as well as possible, the new cleaner will work. It didn't get it all, but good enough for a first shot. The drawers have been sorted and reconstructed in a logical manner, dishes are soaking to be done before long after one final little bit of food, and cat littler changing is still on the agenda. I had thought to do more toward getting the blogspot cleared up but I think I have enough to do and will skip that until tomorrow.
Tomorrow I have Mass. I would like to do some piddly things first thing, like begin sorting closets, cabinets, or whatever. Those spaces are on a permanent 'to do' list, until I have things sorted well, home-wide. Then the plan is to keep it that way. After Mass I promised my friend I would be in, and so I shall. I need to take him those hundred bullets he needs. He does pay for them. Then we will probably do a bit more shopping. Ten to one he is out of BACON! I also want to find those bolts and "L" connectors (common to weight benches and machines). I suppose I could look for more food, too. After looking at my finances, and though I could do it, I am going to hold off ordering loads of long term foods for just another month. I may have to just order a partial load. I hate taking myself down to the nubs and yet I have a very difficult time keeping even a nickel in my pocket, it seems. Since I didn't buy the gun, I did spread the wealth around a bit freely early on. A rice cooker for my mom, some cash for my lady friend (and sending the lamp), a couple of Siouxsie cds and a stainless roaster, among other things.
No, no, I have more floating around than last month if less than I had hoped. There is no way I would have bought the 9 mm AND the .357 this month though. I might have been able to, but, as I said, I wouldn't want to go down to nubs again. Having even four hundred in savings is nice, but more just... Two tires would set me back nearly $1,000. Life is expensive these days.
All that remains is the cat litter, recycling I noticed, which needs to be taken out with the litter, a meal, and then dishes. Yes, turning the heat down from 74 F to 70 has cooled my jets. But that is as hoped. I have been keeping pretty well to a schedule. There has been some sliding but I think I will correct that. And, this weekend, I am not going to just sit around or rest. I need to get out hiking. I don't plan some extravagant or extreme hike, just a few miles up and back. I won't be pushing it, just doing it. Perhaps even if it snows, so long as it isn't too heavy of a snow.
I can't believe how much life I have been missing out on. I am enjoying cleaning my house, keeping on top of it, eating, playing, working, and doing business. Actually, I simply don't have enough to do. But then I don't want to overdo it, early, and burn out. With my home back in order I can take a step back and review what I need to do in other areas. I had hoped to go to the clerk of court and investigate accident claims and what recent court proceedings have yielded, to know whether I should file a suit. That will simply have to wait until Monday, unless I can wake well and early, do my tinkering and a few tasks, then get out the door a good two hours before noon. Yeah, that seems a bit tight. Monday, most likely, will be the day for record research.
Ah well, I do what I can. Good night.
.
No. I am dead tired. After cleaning and such this morning coupled with a late night, I simply want to fold myself into a bed and call it good. But no. I have things to do. The shower is cleaned as well as possible, the new cleaner will work. It didn't get it all, but good enough for a first shot. The drawers have been sorted and reconstructed in a logical manner, dishes are soaking to be done before long after one final little bit of food, and cat littler changing is still on the agenda. I had thought to do more toward getting the blogspot cleared up but I think I have enough to do and will skip that until tomorrow.
Tomorrow I have Mass. I would like to do some piddly things first thing, like begin sorting closets, cabinets, or whatever. Those spaces are on a permanent 'to do' list, until I have things sorted well, home-wide. Then the plan is to keep it that way. After Mass I promised my friend I would be in, and so I shall. I need to take him those hundred bullets he needs. He does pay for them. Then we will probably do a bit more shopping. Ten to one he is out of BACON! I also want to find those bolts and "L" connectors (common to weight benches and machines). I suppose I could look for more food, too. After looking at my finances, and though I could do it, I am going to hold off ordering loads of long term foods for just another month. I may have to just order a partial load. I hate taking myself down to the nubs and yet I have a very difficult time keeping even a nickel in my pocket, it seems. Since I didn't buy the gun, I did spread the wealth around a bit freely early on. A rice cooker for my mom, some cash for my lady friend (and sending the lamp), a couple of Siouxsie cds and a stainless roaster, among other things.
No, no, I have more floating around than last month if less than I had hoped. There is no way I would have bought the 9 mm AND the .357 this month though. I might have been able to, but, as I said, I wouldn't want to go down to nubs again. Having even four hundred in savings is nice, but more just... Two tires would set me back nearly $1,000. Life is expensive these days.
All that remains is the cat litter, recycling I noticed, which needs to be taken out with the litter, a meal, and then dishes. Yes, turning the heat down from 74 F to 70 has cooled my jets. But that is as hoped. I have been keeping pretty well to a schedule. There has been some sliding but I think I will correct that. And, this weekend, I am not going to just sit around or rest. I need to get out hiking. I don't plan some extravagant or extreme hike, just a few miles up and back. I won't be pushing it, just doing it. Perhaps even if it snows, so long as it isn't too heavy of a snow.
I can't believe how much life I have been missing out on. I am enjoying cleaning my house, keeping on top of it, eating, playing, working, and doing business. Actually, I simply don't have enough to do. But then I don't want to overdo it, early, and burn out. With my home back in order I can take a step back and review what I need to do in other areas. I had hoped to go to the clerk of court and investigate accident claims and what recent court proceedings have yielded, to know whether I should file a suit. That will simply have to wait until Monday, unless I can wake well and early, do my tinkering and a few tasks, then get out the door a good two hours before noon. Yeah, that seems a bit tight. Monday, most likely, will be the day for record research.
Ah well, I do what I can. Good night.
On it, right on it.
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I didn't want to get going this morning. I stayed up until 2:30 or a bit later last night. I drank soda too late and I forgot to turn the furnace down, plus I dithered and dallied with Google and women folk potential. I did wake... by 10:00? I can't swear to it, but it was in the neighborhood either a bit before or after. And I my morning rounds took a little long. Boy am I thirst today, too. In spite of being thirsty, I have gained five pounds. *shrug* *sigh*
Anyway, and though I really didn't want to, I dug in. I went through my routine, save my exercises. I think I was hoping I would forget. I got on to vacuuming, but first had to cleans some surfaces after vacuuming my bedroom. That and I needed to shake some rugs. And move some furniture and other stuff. It's never how you imagine it is it? Work that is. Oh, and I needed to empty some small trash bins and set those out of the way too. But I did it. I vacuumed all my carpets, shook the rugs, cleared and cleaned the coffee table and an end table, then put what was supposed to be returned all back. I then went to the weight bench, pulled off a bolt and an "L" connector of which I need four to six of each when I go to town Friday. Then I pulled a hundred bullets I just bought and put them in a bag at my friend's request. I then swept the kitchen area. I haven't changed cat litter yet, but the bin is in place and that will be my next task.
I also received a phone call from the BCI agent, regarding my difficulty. He gave me a number to call, at the FBI, and a number for them to reference. That was it. I called the number, and after being dazzled by their phone options, I just let it ring through to an operator. Odd that their operators are also agents. She took the call and tried to say it was a state issue. They don't even use the numbering system regarding the number given to me. After a bit of talking, she (somehow) connected to that numbering system and gave me the address to send an appeal (which happens to be the FBI). I don't know who is lying, for all I know both of them. But someone has to be lying. I guess that is all we can expect from our government anymore. Anyway and in any case, I now need to get two letters written. One for my mother and another for my appeal. I hate that my printer isn't working. I believe I could use the computer and printer at the college, I am not sure I should though. Trust, once broken, is difficult to regain.
I must admit, staying up so late and missing my routine, when I realized it this morning, frightened me a bit. I was worried that I was falling again. But, nope. I got right back on the horse, I'm firmly back in the saddle, and the reins are once again in my hands. All good. And I plan on keeping it that way.
After the missionaries leave I will finish with the cat litter, straighten out the drawers, finish the grout and tile work or give some of this new stuff a chance, and then begin working on regaining open status with my blog. I have heard nothing back from Google so I will try another avenue, or several. Ugh but what a pain this is. All of it. Getting everything straightened out, should that happen, would be nice though.
I doubt everything, but I am moving forward in faith, and hope. I don't have to believe without seeing it happen, Christ did not chastise Thomas, He showed him. While Christ isn't the world, He is still in it. And if it be His Father's will, then He will show me. That is good enough for me. Never mind my heresies, rants, neurosis, or such. That is just the machine doing what it must to deal with what it can't know, control, or understand at times. I am working on that, and yeah, like everything else in life, I really am 'right on that'.
Good day!
.
I didn't want to get going this morning. I stayed up until 2:30 or a bit later last night. I drank soda too late and I forgot to turn the furnace down, plus I dithered and dallied with Google and women folk potential. I did wake... by 10:00? I can't swear to it, but it was in the neighborhood either a bit before or after. And I my morning rounds took a little long. Boy am I thirst today, too. In spite of being thirsty, I have gained five pounds. *shrug* *sigh*
Anyway, and though I really didn't want to, I dug in. I went through my routine, save my exercises. I think I was hoping I would forget. I got on to vacuuming, but first had to cleans some surfaces after vacuuming my bedroom. That and I needed to shake some rugs. And move some furniture and other stuff. It's never how you imagine it is it? Work that is. Oh, and I needed to empty some small trash bins and set those out of the way too. But I did it. I vacuumed all my carpets, shook the rugs, cleared and cleaned the coffee table and an end table, then put what was supposed to be returned all back. I then went to the weight bench, pulled off a bolt and an "L" connector of which I need four to six of each when I go to town Friday. Then I pulled a hundred bullets I just bought and put them in a bag at my friend's request. I then swept the kitchen area. I haven't changed cat litter yet, but the bin is in place and that will be my next task.
I also received a phone call from the BCI agent, regarding my difficulty. He gave me a number to call, at the FBI, and a number for them to reference. That was it. I called the number, and after being dazzled by their phone options, I just let it ring through to an operator. Odd that their operators are also agents. She took the call and tried to say it was a state issue. They don't even use the numbering system regarding the number given to me. After a bit of talking, she (somehow) connected to that numbering system and gave me the address to send an appeal (which happens to be the FBI). I don't know who is lying, for all I know both of them. But someone has to be lying. I guess that is all we can expect from our government anymore. Anyway and in any case, I now need to get two letters written. One for my mother and another for my appeal. I hate that my printer isn't working. I believe I could use the computer and printer at the college, I am not sure I should though. Trust, once broken, is difficult to regain.
I must admit, staying up so late and missing my routine, when I realized it this morning, frightened me a bit. I was worried that I was falling again. But, nope. I got right back on the horse, I'm firmly back in the saddle, and the reins are once again in my hands. All good. And I plan on keeping it that way.
After the missionaries leave I will finish with the cat litter, straighten out the drawers, finish the grout and tile work or give some of this new stuff a chance, and then begin working on regaining open status with my blog. I have heard nothing back from Google so I will try another avenue, or several. Ugh but what a pain this is. All of it. Getting everything straightened out, should that happen, would be nice though.
I doubt everything, but I am moving forward in faith, and hope. I don't have to believe without seeing it happen, Christ did not chastise Thomas, He showed him. While Christ isn't the world, He is still in it. And if it be His Father's will, then He will show me. That is good enough for me. Never mind my heresies, rants, neurosis, or such. That is just the machine doing what it must to deal with what it can't know, control, or understand at times. I am working on that, and yeah, like everything else in life, I really am 'right on that'.
Good day!
Oh noes!
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.
I messed up. Staying up too late AND not doing my routine. The first time in about two weeks though. Never mind, I have things to do this morning.
Beside getting back on my routine, I plan on vacuuming and sweeping, cleaning the living room, and making a minor lunch before the missionaries arrive. I believe they have lunch right before visiting. Someone is feeding them well from the looks of things. Oh, I best find those pieces for the weight bench and check to see if the situp stand has all the parts. I need a little help getting that together and they are just the right guys.
Drawers for later. Yesterday saw me stuck on Google stupid. Nothing has come of that yet. Well, I did send out a message asking for help. I did add two email addresses for various things, and figured out after some serious forum searching how to make them functional on my smartphone. And, that seems to be working as this morning I had quite a few messages from the various email addresses. One of the women I messaged, the tall one, at least viewed my profile. I think that is the end of her. She was pretty and seemed right in a few odd little ways. But at 34 perhaps she thinks she is too young. And she does live a goodly distance. But for me, for that bunny, I would have hopped my paws raw. Just... sayin'.
Yes, I will be honest. I am not on the Catholic dating service to become friends. I've got enough friends, truly. And, to be honest, I don't think women make great friends. Unrequited lovers, perhaps. Flirt partners, sure. But they slow me down and have a definite bad attitude when it comes to real justice, action (getting the things done I want done), and such. They are useless as cheerleaders unless they can carry their load and if they can carry their load but not cheerlead, they are just as useless. A woman, in other words, will always be under foot. But if she can be busy with her world and helpful in mine, and depend on me for what she can't do in her world, and the reverse, she will pay for herself in a matter of years. :p
Oh, certainly, take all that with a grain of salt. But as I said on my post... Don't take it too lightly, either. Laugh, love, and kick me in the head. Life is that good and I can take it. Just understand, I will most certainly do the same and I play chess better. These times they are exciting! Even if nothing pans out it should be interesting for a bit. I do like women, in a way. I may be a little angry with how everything was developed. But I can't quite bring myself to be angry with God for it. And I know it was His doing. Quite a few things are like that. Angry at the how and why but I can't quite bring myself to be angry at God, the one who put it all in play. While you can be angry at losing, can you truly be angry in that you are alive and able to play? I don't think so, but it leaves a lot of slop in the gig for displaced anger, doesn't it? I think that anger, angst, and the rest was created as fuel to do more. Use it as energy.
The sun is shining, I have things to do. Good day.
.
I messed up. Staying up too late AND not doing my routine. The first time in about two weeks though. Never mind, I have things to do this morning.
Beside getting back on my routine, I plan on vacuuming and sweeping, cleaning the living room, and making a minor lunch before the missionaries arrive. I believe they have lunch right before visiting. Someone is feeding them well from the looks of things. Oh, I best find those pieces for the weight bench and check to see if the situp stand has all the parts. I need a little help getting that together and they are just the right guys.
Drawers for later. Yesterday saw me stuck on Google stupid. Nothing has come of that yet. Well, I did send out a message asking for help. I did add two email addresses for various things, and figured out after some serious forum searching how to make them functional on my smartphone. And, that seems to be working as this morning I had quite a few messages from the various email addresses. One of the women I messaged, the tall one, at least viewed my profile. I think that is the end of her. She was pretty and seemed right in a few odd little ways. But at 34 perhaps she thinks she is too young. And she does live a goodly distance. But for me, for that bunny, I would have hopped my paws raw. Just... sayin'.
Yes, I will be honest. I am not on the Catholic dating service to become friends. I've got enough friends, truly. And, to be honest, I don't think women make great friends. Unrequited lovers, perhaps. Flirt partners, sure. But they slow me down and have a definite bad attitude when it comes to real justice, action (getting the things done I want done), and such. They are useless as cheerleaders unless they can carry their load and if they can carry their load but not cheerlead, they are just as useless. A woman, in other words, will always be under foot. But if she can be busy with her world and helpful in mine, and depend on me for what she can't do in her world, and the reverse, she will pay for herself in a matter of years. :p
Oh, certainly, take all that with a grain of salt. But as I said on my post... Don't take it too lightly, either. Laugh, love, and kick me in the head. Life is that good and I can take it. Just understand, I will most certainly do the same and I play chess better. These times they are exciting! Even if nothing pans out it should be interesting for a bit. I do like women, in a way. I may be a little angry with how everything was developed. But I can't quite bring myself to be angry with God for it. And I know it was His doing. Quite a few things are like that. Angry at the how and why but I can't quite bring myself to be angry at God, the one who put it all in play. While you can be angry at losing, can you truly be angry in that you are alive and able to play? I don't think so, but it leaves a lot of slop in the gig for displaced anger, doesn't it? I think that anger, angst, and the rest was created as fuel to do more. Use it as energy.
The sun is shining, I have things to do. Good day.
Oh well.
.
.
I went out to begin lifting only to realize I still haven't found and connected the last parts needed to hold the thing together. One more thing to do. So, I did the next most logical healthy thing, I did a late evening run to town and brought home a Wendy's meal. :p
I have, since, been looking over profiles. I was only getting seven profiles in a 200 mile radius, so I went to five hundred miles. I have sent a half dozen messages out. I set up a questionnaire, did the profile analysis of course. Some of my questions might be shocking, but perhaps not to conservative Catholic women. And, yes, I got right down to what type of love they like, how they deal with romance, and what they think of house work, and there general work ethic. Some of the questions are quite a gas. After creating it, I wrote that they needed to take the survey in my profile, and with a grain of salt, but not dismiss it as humor entirely either. Get thee hie, woman... or some such instruction. I saw one woman who was 6'2", another that was 4'9". Hmm. Just saying. I'm sort of prejudiced that way. I only like my women somewhat short, somewhat tall, or somewhere in between. I have been avoiding abandoned profiles and women who say they believe with the Church regarding contraceptives and life and yet only want one or two children. Those things are contrary. You leave these things in God's hands.
Oh, this will most likely be a waste of time. Perhaps one or two might respond. I will also get responses from women who simply will not do. There is already a 44 year old woman interested. That can't happen, and I will tell her, tell her why, and be done with it, if she sniffs around too closely. She is too old to have children. Life isn't fair to women, in this sense. Oh, one of my questions, my first question, is "Why aren't you married yet?". I have a number of answers (it is multiple choice). I think I have, 1. I was busy with my career/school.; 2. I had a family situation or illness.; 3. I didn't think marriage was quite what I wanted and time escaped me, but I changed my mind.; 4. I don't know. She didn't know.
If nothing else I will get the chance to nail down just what is really out there with regards to women. What should and should not be said, or more how to speak about the seemingly unspeakable. Oh, if nothing else, they will know I am a 'live one'. There is little doubt there about that. This gives me much more impetus to stay active and to get that workout routine moving along more strongly. I want to look good if I get the chance to meet a few of them. Even if it doesn't work out, I want to leave an solid impression. This could be fun!
Well, on to bed. I was hoping for something back from blogspot but snake-eyes so far. Good night!
.
I went out to begin lifting only to realize I still haven't found and connected the last parts needed to hold the thing together. One more thing to do. So, I did the next most logical healthy thing, I did a late evening run to town and brought home a Wendy's meal. :p
I have, since, been looking over profiles. I was only getting seven profiles in a 200 mile radius, so I went to five hundred miles. I have sent a half dozen messages out. I set up a questionnaire, did the profile analysis of course. Some of my questions might be shocking, but perhaps not to conservative Catholic women. And, yes, I got right down to what type of love they like, how they deal with romance, and what they think of house work, and there general work ethic. Some of the questions are quite a gas. After creating it, I wrote that they needed to take the survey in my profile, and with a grain of salt, but not dismiss it as humor entirely either. Get thee hie, woman... or some such instruction. I saw one woman who was 6'2", another that was 4'9". Hmm. Just saying. I'm sort of prejudiced that way. I only like my women somewhat short, somewhat tall, or somewhere in between. I have been avoiding abandoned profiles and women who say they believe with the Church regarding contraceptives and life and yet only want one or two children. Those things are contrary. You leave these things in God's hands.
Oh, this will most likely be a waste of time. Perhaps one or two might respond. I will also get responses from women who simply will not do. There is already a 44 year old woman interested. That can't happen, and I will tell her, tell her why, and be done with it, if she sniffs around too closely. She is too old to have children. Life isn't fair to women, in this sense. Oh, one of my questions, my first question, is "Why aren't you married yet?". I have a number of answers (it is multiple choice). I think I have, 1. I was busy with my career/school.; 2. I had a family situation or illness.; 3. I didn't think marriage was quite what I wanted and time escaped me, but I changed my mind.; 4. I don't know. She didn't know.
If nothing else I will get the chance to nail down just what is really out there with regards to women. What should and should not be said, or more how to speak about the seemingly unspeakable. Oh, if nothing else, they will know I am a 'live one'. There is little doubt there about that. This gives me much more impetus to stay active and to get that workout routine moving along more strongly. I want to look good if I get the chance to meet a few of them. Even if it doesn't work out, I want to leave an solid impression. This could be fun!
Well, on to bed. I was hoping for something back from blogspot but snake-eyes so far. Good night!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Oh, right, women.
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I joined a Catholic dating site tonight. I had tinkered with it before. I took the psych test/personality test, and it came up with this:
"The Choleric / Sanguine
The choleric-sanguine is a blending of the two extroverted temperaments and will be somewhat less extraverted than the sanguine-choleric, because the choleric’s extraversion often takes a back-seat to his goal-oriented behavior. Nonetheless, this temperament combination is second only to the sanguine-choleric in terms of being outgoing and people-oriented. This temperament mix tends to give rise to an enthusiastic, motivational, and highly driven leader (choleric) whose social skills and interest in other people (sanguine nature) make him less dictatorial and capable of some flexibility. He will value relationships more than a pure choleric, and will show greater compassion in dealing with people, will be less controlling than the pure choleric, and will be more willing to take time out to relax and enjoy himself.
If you are a choleric-sanguine, you will find that you have a great amount of energy and inspiration for initiating projects and can be highly focused on task completion as well. Although you tend to be very objective, pragmatic, and logical -- and may sometimes find yourself stepping on toes in the process of accomplishing the task at hand -- you will also have the interpersonal skills needed to resolve conflict and to help people work together and get along with one another. The creativity and sensitivity of your sanguine nature will enable you to be flexible when the situation calls for it, and less demanding and harsh than a pure choleric would tend to be. You are likely an energetic leader or manager, with superb debating skills: firmly convinced that you are right, you also have the “people-skills” necessary to convince others as well!
Without strong formation and a deep spiritual life, however, your temperament’s weaknesses will be intensified. Without attention to self-formation you may find yourself quickly aroused to anger, yet also unforgiving. You can be impatient with others and overly opinionated. You may speak frankly or impulsively without regard for others’ feelings. You should take care that you become neither a workaholic nor driven by your passions. You may insist on having your own way, and become angered, blame others, or make excuses when corrected. But, once you become aware of the weaknesses of your nature, and make a commitment to self-improvement, you will be able to be equally determined in pursuing self-formation.
If your temperament is choleric-sanguine, for a better understanding of your temperament it is recommended that you read the full descriptions of the choleric and sanguine."
I am still tinkering there. I had an account but for various reasons, none of which I presume to know, nothing was working regarding getting that account back. So I simply created a new one. We will see how it works out. But, doing and feeling better, I would like to start meeting some women, when I can slide them in between doing this and that. If one catches my soft side, we will see where that takes me. I doubt if it will work, but pessimism doesn't mean I quit things.
I am about to get out and do some weight lifting. Then vacuuming and sweeping. I finished the dishes and they are all put up. Hmm, but I might be getting hungry again. Cheese, sausage, crackers, and a glass of milk. Just a little bit, mind you. Two or three ounces of the good stuffs, a half a dozen crackers, but all the milk I feel the need to consume.
If I get those things done, and perhaps before a meal, I might get to the tile work. I've been lagging this afternoon, after doing what I could regarding my account. I had hoped for a response. Sometimes while waiting for a response I freeze up. Well, I have other things to do and I have frozen up long enough!
.
I joined a Catholic dating site tonight. I had tinkered with it before. I took the psych test/personality test, and it came up with this:
"The Choleric / Sanguine
The choleric-sanguine is a blending of the two extroverted temperaments and will be somewhat less extraverted than the sanguine-choleric, because the choleric’s extraversion often takes a back-seat to his goal-oriented behavior. Nonetheless, this temperament combination is second only to the sanguine-choleric in terms of being outgoing and people-oriented. This temperament mix tends to give rise to an enthusiastic, motivational, and highly driven leader (choleric) whose social skills and interest in other people (sanguine nature) make him less dictatorial and capable of some flexibility. He will value relationships more than a pure choleric, and will show greater compassion in dealing with people, will be less controlling than the pure choleric, and will be more willing to take time out to relax and enjoy himself.
If you are a choleric-sanguine, you will find that you have a great amount of energy and inspiration for initiating projects and can be highly focused on task completion as well. Although you tend to be very objective, pragmatic, and logical -- and may sometimes find yourself stepping on toes in the process of accomplishing the task at hand -- you will also have the interpersonal skills needed to resolve conflict and to help people work together and get along with one another. The creativity and sensitivity of your sanguine nature will enable you to be flexible when the situation calls for it, and less demanding and harsh than a pure choleric would tend to be. You are likely an energetic leader or manager, with superb debating skills: firmly convinced that you are right, you also have the “people-skills” necessary to convince others as well!
Without strong formation and a deep spiritual life, however, your temperament’s weaknesses will be intensified. Without attention to self-formation you may find yourself quickly aroused to anger, yet also unforgiving. You can be impatient with others and overly opinionated. You may speak frankly or impulsively without regard for others’ feelings. You should take care that you become neither a workaholic nor driven by your passions. You may insist on having your own way, and become angered, blame others, or make excuses when corrected. But, once you become aware of the weaknesses of your nature, and make a commitment to self-improvement, you will be able to be equally determined in pursuing self-formation.
If your temperament is choleric-sanguine, for a better understanding of your temperament it is recommended that you read the full descriptions of the choleric and sanguine."
I am still tinkering there. I had an account but for various reasons, none of which I presume to know, nothing was working regarding getting that account back. So I simply created a new one. We will see how it works out. But, doing and feeling better, I would like to start meeting some women, when I can slide them in between doing this and that. If one catches my soft side, we will see where that takes me. I doubt if it will work, but pessimism doesn't mean I quit things.
I am about to get out and do some weight lifting. Then vacuuming and sweeping. I finished the dishes and they are all put up. Hmm, but I might be getting hungry again. Cheese, sausage, crackers, and a glass of milk. Just a little bit, mind you. Two or three ounces of the good stuffs, a half a dozen crackers, but all the milk I feel the need to consume.
If I get those things done, and perhaps before a meal, I might get to the tile work. I've been lagging this afternoon, after doing what I could regarding my account. I had hoped for a response. Sometimes while waiting for a response I freeze up. Well, I have other things to do and I have frozen up long enough!
Okay.
.
.
A ton more digging and I finally found a place where I could attempt to get my email address changed from an abandoned address to one that is functioning. I did try to sign in using that supposedly already used new email address but they said there were no Google accounts associated with that email address. So I can't undo what isn't done. You have to admit, it looks like they are trying to make it so that I can't have a functional blog. If I can't even change my email address to one where I can actually receive information, there is no use filing a complaint and trying to work with them that way while they will only agree to use the email address assigned to the blog, which is dysfunctional, and on around it goes. However, I have done all that I can do. I filled out the form, but only had 25 letters to use to try and explain the email connected to my account is no longer available. We will see. Until I change the primary email I am stuck. And I have applied for that. I think I did create access to email on my smartphone, for the new address. It worked once, in any case.
What else to do today? The dishes from dinner are soaking. I could try and place a call or two. I would like to try out my workout clothes doing a bit of lifting. Other than that it looks like today was eaten by Google. No problems, really. It is nice to be able to ride a task as far as I need to go with it, to try and get things fixed. Tomorrow I will do whatever did not get done today. Perhaps a few things I hadn't thought of. And, actually, today isn't done. I would like to finish rearranging my clothes drawers and clean a couple of surfaces, and maybe even get the shower grout lines cleaned, or take a stab at that.
The coffee is good, great actually, by the way. A cup or two several days a week should be nice. I think I will grind it a bit finer though. I am using my hand grinder for the first time so I it is trial and error for now.
Somehow I saw into this woman's life through her music and it has startlingly altered my whole lookout on life. How odd is that? I see that she has done little things, one at a time, and built up who she is, what she does, and how she does it. She had to make choices on exercise, food, other consumptions, activities, and meeting goals. She slowly developed who she is as a star, how to manage that, and how to be a star and a individual person, in her case woman. All very little steps leading to great success, a fantastic song and video, and an amazing talent bolstered by solid living and hard work. My end goal isn't the same, I don't want to be a rocker, famous, or anything. But it is the same, I want to be successful. One step at a time. And, you know what? She is absolutely right. It's about to happen!
Good day.
.
A ton more digging and I finally found a place where I could attempt to get my email address changed from an abandoned address to one that is functioning. I did try to sign in using that supposedly already used new email address but they said there were no Google accounts associated with that email address. So I can't undo what isn't done. You have to admit, it looks like they are trying to make it so that I can't have a functional blog. If I can't even change my email address to one where I can actually receive information, there is no use filing a complaint and trying to work with them that way while they will only agree to use the email address assigned to the blog, which is dysfunctional, and on around it goes. However, I have done all that I can do. I filled out the form, but only had 25 letters to use to try and explain the email connected to my account is no longer available. We will see. Until I change the primary email I am stuck. And I have applied for that. I think I did create access to email on my smartphone, for the new address. It worked once, in any case.
What else to do today? The dishes from dinner are soaking. I could try and place a call or two. I would like to try out my workout clothes doing a bit of lifting. Other than that it looks like today was eaten by Google. No problems, really. It is nice to be able to ride a task as far as I need to go with it, to try and get things fixed. Tomorrow I will do whatever did not get done today. Perhaps a few things I hadn't thought of. And, actually, today isn't done. I would like to finish rearranging my clothes drawers and clean a couple of surfaces, and maybe even get the shower grout lines cleaned, or take a stab at that.
The coffee is good, great actually, by the way. A cup or two several days a week should be nice. I think I will grind it a bit finer though. I am using my hand grinder for the first time so I it is trial and error for now.
Somehow I saw into this woman's life through her music and it has startlingly altered my whole lookout on life. How odd is that? I see that she has done little things, one at a time, and built up who she is, what she does, and how she does it. She had to make choices on exercise, food, other consumptions, activities, and meeting goals. She slowly developed who she is as a star, how to manage that, and how to be a star and a individual person, in her case woman. All very little steps leading to great success, a fantastic song and video, and an amazing talent bolstered by solid living and hard work. My end goal isn't the same, I don't want to be a rocker, famous, or anything. But it is the same, I want to be successful. One step at a time. And, you know what? She is absolutely right. It's about to happen!
Good day.
What a lunch!
.
.
Or dinner, if you prefer, if that is technically more correct. I purchased a t-bone steak the other day. It was half priced in the 'good but going' bin. It has been several days, so I was worried about it still being good. It turned out just fine, and I was sniffing before, during, and after cooking. It wasn't even slightly 'tacky' tasting. I also heated a potato in the micro and heated a can of peas and carrots. A glass of milk and a cup of French press coffee finished it off. I will finish the coffee as my afternoon treat. No sugar or milk in the coffee, this time, either.
None of the phone calls have gone forward. I have become tied up in the blog, email, internet debacle. I still need to figure out how to free up my pseudonomical email address then make it my main/only email address for my blogspot, figure out how to check those email addresses on my phone (I now know how to check it on the computer), then when that is going, then when I can check the email addresses everywhere and have the one as my primary email, finally I can apply for a review of my status. As I see things I am about halfway done with these things.
That steak was a generous gift. But I have been doing well! Friday, if I have been a good boy, I am going to have a treble shot of scotch, with ice, on the rocks, along with a cigar. Dogs need our treats. Bacon doesn't do it and I know no bitch in heat, and couldn't mess with that if I did. God seems to have won me over. I choose not to be quite so animal, or at least animal but only within a rather specific set of understandings. Heck, soon, when I quite tobacco (and it is coming) I won't even allow myself the cigar. But don't even think about touching my scotch! If I do drink in great moderation anymore. *shrug* I know what Wolverine when through when he realize Xavier was in his mind... changing, easing, softening. God is in my head. And, yeah, sometimes what is happening there sneaks up on me and I become enraged. Some days I would attempt to wrestle God Himself if He came down here. Oh, He knows, He knows. He wasn't that calling and patient that long without knowing that and far more, far more than even I know.
A bit of digesting, reading, goofing, then back to the project. Ugh-a! Later.
.
Or dinner, if you prefer, if that is technically more correct. I purchased a t-bone steak the other day. It was half priced in the 'good but going' bin. It has been several days, so I was worried about it still being good. It turned out just fine, and I was sniffing before, during, and after cooking. It wasn't even slightly 'tacky' tasting. I also heated a potato in the micro and heated a can of peas and carrots. A glass of milk and a cup of French press coffee finished it off. I will finish the coffee as my afternoon treat. No sugar or milk in the coffee, this time, either.
None of the phone calls have gone forward. I have become tied up in the blog, email, internet debacle. I still need to figure out how to free up my pseudonomical email address then make it my main/only email address for my blogspot, figure out how to check those email addresses on my phone (I now know how to check it on the computer), then when that is going, then when I can check the email addresses everywhere and have the one as my primary email, finally I can apply for a review of my status. As I see things I am about halfway done with these things.
That steak was a generous gift. But I have been doing well! Friday, if I have been a good boy, I am going to have a treble shot of scotch, with ice, on the rocks, along with a cigar. Dogs need our treats. Bacon doesn't do it and I know no bitch in heat, and couldn't mess with that if I did. God seems to have won me over. I choose not to be quite so animal, or at least animal but only within a rather specific set of understandings. Heck, soon, when I quite tobacco (and it is coming) I won't even allow myself the cigar. But don't even think about touching my scotch! If I do drink in great moderation anymore. *shrug* I know what Wolverine when through when he realize Xavier was in his mind... changing, easing, softening. God is in my head. And, yeah, sometimes what is happening there sneaks up on me and I become enraged. Some days I would attempt to wrestle God Himself if He came down here. Oh, He knows, He knows. He wasn't that calling and patient that long without knowing that and far more, far more than even I know.
A bit of digesting, reading, goofing, then back to the project. Ugh-a! Later.
Ugh.
.
.
Okay, after reading everything I could, enough to make some sort of sense out of it, and having to qualify every page I read against the computer (which is trying to say Google, Comcast, and every other darned site is "bad"), I finally got a little ways in. But they wanted an address, email address. The one I have been using is bad/dead, it has been deactivated for almost two years, or more, now. So, I went to Comcast and tried to get that all arranged. Of course, before I could get into Comcast I had to go through the process of regaining my password there, then setting up a new email account. Then figuring out where to go to check my mail. I still need to get those email addresses functional on my smartphone, too. My primary Comcast email is too out there, for my tastes, so I created a new email address more in line with the blog. Of course, constantly having to accept and wave the security warnings on pages I had just waved, over and over. Never mind. So I get back to it, enter a (newly minted, by the way) email address. I am then told that the email address is being used for one of my Google accounts. Now I do have two, one for email (which is not acceptable for blogspot), and the blogspot account. So, I begin digging. Neither of them has the email address listed as even a contributor or secondary owner, or even as a secondary contact. Next I am going to try to find where that email address does belong, if it exists, or what is happening with it. I need to free up the email to use it so Google can email me. Ugh, but truly, ugh!
I have gotten the last of the laundry out, folded or hung, some of it put away, the rest will be put away soon. I also found a sweatshirt and one of my undershirts for my weight training clothing. I will next get a couple of pair of sweats and wool long underwear to finish off the sets. Morning exercises in one of those outfits should see me warmed up enough to do some quick and nasty sets, and eventually sets of sets of reps, even when it is cold. Plus, going outside, I will know when it has snowed so might be able to stay on top of snow removal this winter? Could be. Well, opening the curtains much more frequently will help with that as well. Some food, first, before I dig too much further into crazy-electro-land. I don't know if it will work but I am giving it an honest shot. Call me lazy, call me crazy, but never say I don't give it a hell of a shot. Hush!
Food! Later.
.
Okay, after reading everything I could, enough to make some sort of sense out of it, and having to qualify every page I read against the computer (which is trying to say Google, Comcast, and every other darned site is "bad"), I finally got a little ways in. But they wanted an address, email address. The one I have been using is bad/dead, it has been deactivated for almost two years, or more, now. So, I went to Comcast and tried to get that all arranged. Of course, before I could get into Comcast I had to go through the process of regaining my password there, then setting up a new email account. Then figuring out where to go to check my mail. I still need to get those email addresses functional on my smartphone, too. My primary Comcast email is too out there, for my tastes, so I created a new email address more in line with the blog. Of course, constantly having to accept and wave the security warnings on pages I had just waved, over and over. Never mind. So I get back to it, enter a (newly minted, by the way) email address. I am then told that the email address is being used for one of my Google accounts. Now I do have two, one for email (which is not acceptable for blogspot), and the blogspot account. So, I begin digging. Neither of them has the email address listed as even a contributor or secondary owner, or even as a secondary contact. Next I am going to try to find where that email address does belong, if it exists, or what is happening with it. I need to free up the email to use it so Google can email me. Ugh, but truly, ugh!
I have gotten the last of the laundry out, folded or hung, some of it put away, the rest will be put away soon. I also found a sweatshirt and one of my undershirts for my weight training clothing. I will next get a couple of pair of sweats and wool long underwear to finish off the sets. Morning exercises in one of those outfits should see me warmed up enough to do some quick and nasty sets, and eventually sets of sets of reps, even when it is cold. Plus, going outside, I will know when it has snowed so might be able to stay on top of snow removal this winter? Could be. Well, opening the curtains much more frequently will help with that as well. Some food, first, before I dig too much further into crazy-electro-land. I don't know if it will work but I am giving it an honest shot. Call me lazy, call me crazy, but never say I don't give it a hell of a shot. Hush!
Food! Later.
Problems with blogspot.
.
.
I am told that my comments are often going right to spam or worse. I have been sent a link to information that might help. And I will go check it out. Today isn't a hugely busy day so I may begin that task today. I am not sure it will help. I piss off doctors, lawyers, government workers, teachers, academics... the usual anti-rights groups. Google isn't known for fairness, the company doesn't even try. Neither does Microsoft. When the government, major information "guardian" companies, and the squeaking one percenters and ninety nine percenters are seemingly on the same page, do not expect justice or fairness. They can call for the death of a so-called conservative and that is fine. I call their superpoliticalhero a mere quota and I am in trouble, deep trouble. I am, at times, having trouble even getting into my account to write a piece.
I suppose I could look for another blog source. My guess is trouble will follow me there. And it would be a lot of work or I would simply have to dump my blog here. I may be nearing the end of blogging, simply because I won't be allowed access. I don't know who, or who all, filed the (or, a) complaint, so there is no way I can know that it won't be done again. Is it one of the blogs masters? Is it just a random liberal who happened to notice something he or she didn't like? Plenty of women have stormed off from my blog, one of them works for the FBI. Yes, I believe women can be petty enough to not like something and put it on a list through their profession, for "review" or other problem causing effects. Until I know where I can't or shouldn't comment, there is little wisdom in trying to get access back. I will do it anyway, but the chances of a reconsideration are slim. Further, I may lose the access immediately after regaining it.
This is life in America today.
.
I am told that my comments are often going right to spam or worse. I have been sent a link to information that might help. And I will go check it out. Today isn't a hugely busy day so I may begin that task today. I am not sure it will help. I piss off doctors, lawyers, government workers, teachers, academics... the usual anti-rights groups. Google isn't known for fairness, the company doesn't even try. Neither does Microsoft. When the government, major information "guardian" companies, and the squeaking one percenters and ninety nine percenters are seemingly on the same page, do not expect justice or fairness. They can call for the death of a so-called conservative and that is fine. I call their superpoliticalhero a mere quota and I am in trouble, deep trouble. I am, at times, having trouble even getting into my account to write a piece.
I suppose I could look for another blog source. My guess is trouble will follow me there. And it would be a lot of work or I would simply have to dump my blog here. I may be nearing the end of blogging, simply because I won't be allowed access. I don't know who, or who all, filed the (or, a) complaint, so there is no way I can know that it won't be done again. Is it one of the blogs masters? Is it just a random liberal who happened to notice something he or she didn't like? Plenty of women have stormed off from my blog, one of them works for the FBI. Yes, I believe women can be petty enough to not like something and put it on a list through their profession, for "review" or other problem causing effects. Until I know where I can't or shouldn't comment, there is little wisdom in trying to get access back. I will do it anyway, but the chances of a reconsideration are slim. Further, I may lose the access immediately after regaining it.
This is life in America today.
Up a bit late.
.
.
But for good reason. Two of the times I put a load over from the washing machine into the drier I simply forgot to set or start the drier. Feeling cheated, I stayed up to finish the laundry. I was not able to sleep until 2:00. A 10:30 wake-up, considering, is just fine. More so since I do not need to leave my home. That last load of laundry is getting a tumble, the curtains have been opened on a shining sun and new day. I ground coffee last night, just enough for a pot of French roast this morning. The water kettle has been heated once but will need to be rewarmed. My bed has been made, weighing and brushing has happened, medicines are down, and before long at all I will do my little exercises for the morning. Wow, almost everything gets done within an half hour or so of waking. Let me do those exercises so I can say it all got done. All done.
Today is mostly a phone call day. Finishing that last load of laundry, going through drawers, cleaning the living room, maybe a sweep and vacuum today or tomorrow, and using the weights. Since the bench is in the unheated garage, I ought to begin looking for a real sweat suit. Hmm, maybe I could just use some of my winter undershirts? No, I would at least need a layer over the thermal levels to make it useful. But I best keep those in mind, especially as I begin adding weights. By the way, my form for pushups and crunches have improved dramatically. I doubt if they are perfect yet, but they are trending toward right. Though it has been a long, very long, time since I have done those, I at least know what is wrong when doing them, if not exactly what is right. When I get further along, to where the number is a non-issue, I can begin perfecting the form even more. Right now I have what I have and do what I can do. My word though, how my arms are tightening up, my gut is pulling in (as far as that much belly can, mind you), and I can sense a tightening of my whole body. I really can't wait to see where I will be in a year if I continue to do this and add just a bit once in a while. Just a few in the morning and at night? Really, that is all? But understand too, I have never been coherently awake enough to... stay on track with daily duties until now. I have tried before. I may even fail again. It has only been a week and a half, I will be more secure in a month or two. If I do this for two months, I will get me a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue. Yes I will. I don't even care about failing one time, or one day, or even two. What I care about is that I get right back to it and that misses are uncommon (or better, never happen, but, you know it can).
Without a timetable I have to keep, someone to see, or any other outward inducements to keep going, days like today are troublingly difficult for me. I have to keep on myself. I have to avoid the trap of idleness, but without pushing too hard or fast. I am prone to both. Like a golfer kicking the ball out between two traps in a place that is known for cross winds on a long drive. This will never be easy for me. The professionals make it look easy, but it isn't. They have to work through all the details quite well prior to swinging or they will fail. If they kept it their whole lives there would be no seniors circuit. And I am nearly of that age, on top of everything else.
It feels so odd though, walking around a clean home. With dishes done, the floors clean, clothes all up or being washed, little surfaces becoming free of clutter, even the microwave clean, life is quite good. And more, the jobs that are unseen, the phone calls, the business mailings, the gifts and thank yous, all moving forward in an army ant efficiency that would make a general, boss, or mother pleased... And more, I think I have everything just right so that it will continue, perhaps indefinitely. I still feel tired. Sometimes downright exhausted. But whatever it takes to get beyond that seems to be in my grasp. Oh the joy!
Good day!
.
But for good reason. Two of the times I put a load over from the washing machine into the drier I simply forgot to set or start the drier. Feeling cheated, I stayed up to finish the laundry. I was not able to sleep until 2:00. A 10:30 wake-up, considering, is just fine. More so since I do not need to leave my home. That last load of laundry is getting a tumble, the curtains have been opened on a shining sun and new day. I ground coffee last night, just enough for a pot of French roast this morning. The water kettle has been heated once but will need to be rewarmed. My bed has been made, weighing and brushing has happened, medicines are down, and before long at all I will do my little exercises for the morning. Wow, almost everything gets done within an half hour or so of waking. Let me do those exercises so I can say it all got done. All done.
Today is mostly a phone call day. Finishing that last load of laundry, going through drawers, cleaning the living room, maybe a sweep and vacuum today or tomorrow, and using the weights. Since the bench is in the unheated garage, I ought to begin looking for a real sweat suit. Hmm, maybe I could just use some of my winter undershirts? No, I would at least need a layer over the thermal levels to make it useful. But I best keep those in mind, especially as I begin adding weights. By the way, my form for pushups and crunches have improved dramatically. I doubt if they are perfect yet, but they are trending toward right. Though it has been a long, very long, time since I have done those, I at least know what is wrong when doing them, if not exactly what is right. When I get further along, to where the number is a non-issue, I can begin perfecting the form even more. Right now I have what I have and do what I can do. My word though, how my arms are tightening up, my gut is pulling in (as far as that much belly can, mind you), and I can sense a tightening of my whole body. I really can't wait to see where I will be in a year if I continue to do this and add just a bit once in a while. Just a few in the morning and at night? Really, that is all? But understand too, I have never been coherently awake enough to... stay on track with daily duties until now. I have tried before. I may even fail again. It has only been a week and a half, I will be more secure in a month or two. If I do this for two months, I will get me a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue. Yes I will. I don't even care about failing one time, or one day, or even two. What I care about is that I get right back to it and that misses are uncommon (or better, never happen, but, you know it can).
Without a timetable I have to keep, someone to see, or any other outward inducements to keep going, days like today are troublingly difficult for me. I have to keep on myself. I have to avoid the trap of idleness, but without pushing too hard or fast. I am prone to both. Like a golfer kicking the ball out between two traps in a place that is known for cross winds on a long drive. This will never be easy for me. The professionals make it look easy, but it isn't. They have to work through all the details quite well prior to swinging or they will fail. If they kept it their whole lives there would be no seniors circuit. And I am nearly of that age, on top of everything else.
It feels so odd though, walking around a clean home. With dishes done, the floors clean, clothes all up or being washed, little surfaces becoming free of clutter, even the microwave clean, life is quite good. And more, the jobs that are unseen, the phone calls, the business mailings, the gifts and thank yous, all moving forward in an army ant efficiency that would make a general, boss, or mother pleased... And more, I think I have everything just right so that it will continue, perhaps indefinitely. I still feel tired. Sometimes downright exhausted. But whatever it takes to get beyond that seems to be in my grasp. Oh the joy!
Good day!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Just a bit of research.
.
.
It seems, since the amount I would be suing for is less than $10,000, a small claims court would be the way I would pursue this. I would hate to do that, simply put. It sounds like a lot of work. However, with the insurance company pulling up well short of the lowest figure two lawyers and a medical practitioner suggested, I am not sure I see another way. I am pretty sure a court has a strong chance of seeing me to more to the claim than simply reimbursement for travel and change. But it would be a lot of leg and prep work. I have been fair in that I didn't continue my medical treatments beyond need. I have been honest, and sound. They are pulling up short and holding their ground. Hmm, I will have to add the expense of my time as well. Basically, I will ask for attorney's fees.
The good thing about small claims court is that it is fully usable without paid representation. The bad thing is that a judge makes the final call. So it will be hit or miss on whether I get a corporate or peasant hater. Of course, with any court case, there is always an opportunity to fight the ruling. Another good thing about small claims court is that it is usually much faster than a full blown court case. I need to know more. I will do a little more digging and when I go to town Friday I should know where to get a court filing form by then, ask a few procedural questions, and perhaps find resources to learn even more. Websites, pamphlets, whatever.
I guess I am tired of being walked on. Now that I am healthier I simply won't just take it. I am now going to fight for fairness. I gave them low bid and they chuckled at it. Thinking a gimp such as me would have no choice, unable to do more than stew. Well, they thought wrong. If I lose, I lose. If I win, I celebrate. Besides, now that I am on my feet again, what else do I have to do? I may call them and let them know I am considering a small claims adjudication. I doubt if that will disturb them a bit, they do this all the time. I had thought about, possibly, if I could make it through engineering school, going on to law school. I guess this is as close as I will ever get.
.
It seems, since the amount I would be suing for is less than $10,000, a small claims court would be the way I would pursue this. I would hate to do that, simply put. It sounds like a lot of work. However, with the insurance company pulling up well short of the lowest figure two lawyers and a medical practitioner suggested, I am not sure I see another way. I am pretty sure a court has a strong chance of seeing me to more to the claim than simply reimbursement for travel and change. But it would be a lot of leg and prep work. I have been fair in that I didn't continue my medical treatments beyond need. I have been honest, and sound. They are pulling up short and holding their ground. Hmm, I will have to add the expense of my time as well. Basically, I will ask for attorney's fees.
The good thing about small claims court is that it is fully usable without paid representation. The bad thing is that a judge makes the final call. So it will be hit or miss on whether I get a corporate or peasant hater. Of course, with any court case, there is always an opportunity to fight the ruling. Another good thing about small claims court is that it is usually much faster than a full blown court case. I need to know more. I will do a little more digging and when I go to town Friday I should know where to get a court filing form by then, ask a few procedural questions, and perhaps find resources to learn even more. Websites, pamphlets, whatever.
I guess I am tired of being walked on. Now that I am healthier I simply won't just take it. I am now going to fight for fairness. I gave them low bid and they chuckled at it. Thinking a gimp such as me would have no choice, unable to do more than stew. Well, they thought wrong. If I lose, I lose. If I win, I celebrate. Besides, now that I am on my feet again, what else do I have to do? I may call them and let them know I am considering a small claims adjudication. I doubt if that will disturb them a bit, they do this all the time. I had thought about, possibly, if I could make it through engineering school, going on to law school. I guess this is as close as I will ever get.
Rather busy.
.
.
I made it to Mass, on time and not too early. I'm beginning to think I am turning into Goldy Locks or something, it's all turning out just right. No! After that, I headed into town. I had a check to bank, some stores to shop, my friend to take along and whatever he wanted. I did come back home, after Church. I had forgotten my cellphone. Just in case the BCI agent called. No such luck on that count. My friend wanted to get a small dresser. He already had his shelves together. I think he likes to tinker. He also wanted to get some fine grit sandpaper. Being that the sandpaper store was right next to the specialty coffee store, I stopped there as well. A pound of pure-grade non-organic French roast coffee, unground, please and thank you. That stuff my mother likes just wasn't up to par. I do like a pot, or French press full, of coffee once in a while.
I also stopped at the one consignment shop I knew about. No good, all clothes and frilly home accouterments. Not my gig. I need to find other stores to shop. New, anymore, is either pure junk or way overpriced. No, I'll find where to go for decent used items. I don't even care if they are in perfect shape, so long as a little care can bring back good "bones" in stuff. I need to find out when they are having auctions and other types of sales. Until then I suppose I could just start buying plants and such. I really would love to get an herb garden going too, if I can.
I am fluffing a load of laundry, then I have another for the drier, and probably another load or two to wash. Dishes are done and my friend bought dinner at Wendy's so I don't even need to cook. It is pretty much just laundry tonight. Perhaps a bit of research on bringing my own case to trial. What I need to file, how I go about it, though first I ought to find out if it is allowed. Some states simply don't allow self-representation and Utah seems like a state that might not allow it.
One other thing to note. While my weight can fluctuate as much as 50 pounds, and has in the last six months, both up and down, and several times both ways, my underwear size remains constant. Must be that water weight doesn't effect it. But this week and a half of pushups and setups? I may need to begin sizing down on shorts! What used to be my tight/comfy ones have become like swimming pools and I absolutely hate losing my shorts! That is just the creepiest feeling. Go commando or wear them so they stay on, I say. This will be the third downsize to underwear in a year.
Tomorrow is a home day. I plan on making a round of calls, adding my friend into the mix. He hasn't responded to my email address check. I also need to call the BCI agent, again. If I don't actually get him on the phone this week I will call the headquarters and speak to someone who can either guide me or get this guy on track. I will not be denied my rights, especially for something that isn't true. With laundry and dishes done, I think the only thing I have left, major work cleaning wise, is the shower grout lines. So, that is on the schedule. I would also like to straighten up my desk area and begin going through drawers and then closet spaces. Oh, and I hope to hit the weights tomorrow. Just a few of this, a few of that, perhaps six to eight exercises, bare bar, on set of eight pumps. Just... a precursor. Just enough to say that I have begun.
I am really enjoying getting up and getting at it. Just little bits and pieces being done, coming together, or going forward. I have no boss, so I am it. I have no schedule, so I have to make one. No one will tell me when it is right or done, so I will have to do quality control. I am regaining my life. And what a wonderful, if small, life it is. I am so grateful to finally be in a place where I can live my little life and enjoy even the humble nature of it. I can't say why God called me, and kept calling me. I am not sure why I resisted so strongly, for so long. Well, some of it was anger, and sideways aimed at God. Whatever the case, I am so pleased He was patient and sure. If this is it, for me in a way, it is enough.
Good day.
.
I made it to Mass, on time and not too early. I'm beginning to think I am turning into Goldy Locks or something, it's all turning out just right. No! After that, I headed into town. I had a check to bank, some stores to shop, my friend to take along and whatever he wanted. I did come back home, after Church. I had forgotten my cellphone. Just in case the BCI agent called. No such luck on that count. My friend wanted to get a small dresser. He already had his shelves together. I think he likes to tinker. He also wanted to get some fine grit sandpaper. Being that the sandpaper store was right next to the specialty coffee store, I stopped there as well. A pound of pure-grade non-organic French roast coffee, unground, please and thank you. That stuff my mother likes just wasn't up to par. I do like a pot, or French press full, of coffee once in a while.
I also stopped at the one consignment shop I knew about. No good, all clothes and frilly home accouterments. Not my gig. I need to find other stores to shop. New, anymore, is either pure junk or way overpriced. No, I'll find where to go for decent used items. I don't even care if they are in perfect shape, so long as a little care can bring back good "bones" in stuff. I need to find out when they are having auctions and other types of sales. Until then I suppose I could just start buying plants and such. I really would love to get an herb garden going too, if I can.
I am fluffing a load of laundry, then I have another for the drier, and probably another load or two to wash. Dishes are done and my friend bought dinner at Wendy's so I don't even need to cook. It is pretty much just laundry tonight. Perhaps a bit of research on bringing my own case to trial. What I need to file, how I go about it, though first I ought to find out if it is allowed. Some states simply don't allow self-representation and Utah seems like a state that might not allow it.
One other thing to note. While my weight can fluctuate as much as 50 pounds, and has in the last six months, both up and down, and several times both ways, my underwear size remains constant. Must be that water weight doesn't effect it. But this week and a half of pushups and setups? I may need to begin sizing down on shorts! What used to be my tight/comfy ones have become like swimming pools and I absolutely hate losing my shorts! That is just the creepiest feeling. Go commando or wear them so they stay on, I say. This will be the third downsize to underwear in a year.
Tomorrow is a home day. I plan on making a round of calls, adding my friend into the mix. He hasn't responded to my email address check. I also need to call the BCI agent, again. If I don't actually get him on the phone this week I will call the headquarters and speak to someone who can either guide me or get this guy on track. I will not be denied my rights, especially for something that isn't true. With laundry and dishes done, I think the only thing I have left, major work cleaning wise, is the shower grout lines. So, that is on the schedule. I would also like to straighten up my desk area and begin going through drawers and then closet spaces. Oh, and I hope to hit the weights tomorrow. Just a few of this, a few of that, perhaps six to eight exercises, bare bar, on set of eight pumps. Just... a precursor. Just enough to say that I have begun.
I am really enjoying getting up and getting at it. Just little bits and pieces being done, coming together, or going forward. I have no boss, so I am it. I have no schedule, so I have to make one. No one will tell me when it is right or done, so I will have to do quality control. I am regaining my life. And what a wonderful, if small, life it is. I am so grateful to finally be in a place where I can live my little life and enjoy even the humble nature of it. I can't say why God called me, and kept calling me. I am not sure why I resisted so strongly, for so long. Well, some of it was anger, and sideways aimed at God. Whatever the case, I am so pleased He was patient and sure. If this is it, for me in a way, it is enough.
Good day.
A beautiful day.
.
.
The sun is shining, the clouds swirl around the mountain peaks, magically topping them, caressing them in delicate white lace weaves. It is with joy I start my day, it is with this serenity of soul and mind that I will do my work, as much as I can, with a glad heart. Thank you God.
.
The sun is shining, the clouds swirl around the mountain peaks, magically topping them, caressing them in delicate white lace weaves. It is with joy I start my day, it is with this serenity of soul and mind that I will do my work, as much as I can, with a glad heart. Thank you God.
Hey, hold up!
.
.
Running a bit late this morning, but I sort of meant too. I just could not kick it over into idle so I could get to sleep until very late last night. Sleep was rough too. Dreams again, if I have no idea what they were about. Have you ever slept, say while camping, in a pseudo comfortable position? While there are worse positions, the one you are in is just not quite right and you know you will be a bit stiff in the morning? Yeah, I did that last night. I simply couldn't get comfortable so I took the best I could get. It's not as bad as I thought it might be though. Just a minor kink and a little ghost of a headache.
Never mind, my routine has been done, except medication and blood pressure. I'm waiting for 30 minutes after dental care to consume the potassium drink and the rest of the medications with it. And I'd like to take my blood pressure after that by about an half hour. Oh, but I have separated the laundry, putting the first load in. I'm not sure what next. I am pretty discombobulated. But with exercises, teeth, and a load of laundry all going before I had time to get stuck in my chair, I have a chance at the rest.
It has only been a week and a day or so, now, in this new success. It has been a whirlwind event. But it has been a controlled event too. Only one or two days was overdoing it, only a few days did I relent and let go a bit. I can only imagine what a lifetime of that kind of hustle, some of it personal, some of it with a woman, some of it professionally, would have developed? People don't, usually, believe me when I tell them I love nothing more than to work, hard, deep down. Love it. I like having to navigate a complicated schedule, beat impossible odds, and be around to kiss Janey when she gets all funky. And I wouldn't have minded hauling out a bundle for my efforts. As a fact, if I didn't get my bundle I would bankrupt any boss by moving over to a competitor who knows what he is getting, letting my former boss drown in mediocrity. Never mind. More mind fluff.'
I really am keeping on top of things while advancing on other things. It is crazy how much stuff comes in on top of other stuff while you are trying to shift the stuff you already have left or right to account for the new stuff or begin setting it aside to get rid of it as useless stuff. I do think, once you get on top of that pile, you can do very nicely. I am at a plateau that way. I have two thirds of my stuff mastered but that last third is chaos. All in boxes, just not squared away within those boxes. Much to do still. Or I can wait until deeper winter when there really is almost nothing to do.
Blathering again. I best look at my list and decide what to do. Good day.
.
Running a bit late this morning, but I sort of meant too. I just could not kick it over into idle so I could get to sleep until very late last night. Sleep was rough too. Dreams again, if I have no idea what they were about. Have you ever slept, say while camping, in a pseudo comfortable position? While there are worse positions, the one you are in is just not quite right and you know you will be a bit stiff in the morning? Yeah, I did that last night. I simply couldn't get comfortable so I took the best I could get. It's not as bad as I thought it might be though. Just a minor kink and a little ghost of a headache.
Never mind, my routine has been done, except medication and blood pressure. I'm waiting for 30 minutes after dental care to consume the potassium drink and the rest of the medications with it. And I'd like to take my blood pressure after that by about an half hour. Oh, but I have separated the laundry, putting the first load in. I'm not sure what next. I am pretty discombobulated. But with exercises, teeth, and a load of laundry all going before I had time to get stuck in my chair, I have a chance at the rest.
It has only been a week and a day or so, now, in this new success. It has been a whirlwind event. But it has been a controlled event too. Only one or two days was overdoing it, only a few days did I relent and let go a bit. I can only imagine what a lifetime of that kind of hustle, some of it personal, some of it with a woman, some of it professionally, would have developed? People don't, usually, believe me when I tell them I love nothing more than to work, hard, deep down. Love it. I like having to navigate a complicated schedule, beat impossible odds, and be around to kiss Janey when she gets all funky. And I wouldn't have minded hauling out a bundle for my efforts. As a fact, if I didn't get my bundle I would bankrupt any boss by moving over to a competitor who knows what he is getting, letting my former boss drown in mediocrity. Never mind. More mind fluff.'
I really am keeping on top of things while advancing on other things. It is crazy how much stuff comes in on top of other stuff while you are trying to shift the stuff you already have left or right to account for the new stuff or begin setting it aside to get rid of it as useless stuff. I do think, once you get on top of that pile, you can do very nicely. I am at a plateau that way. I have two thirds of my stuff mastered but that last third is chaos. All in boxes, just not squared away within those boxes. Much to do still. Or I can wait until deeper winter when there really is almost nothing to do.
Blathering again. I best look at my list and decide what to do. Good day.
Monday, November 7, 2011
And I thought I was writing blarney again.
.
.
I did collect the dirty laundry, taking it back to the laundry room. I keep forgetting about the terrible light back there at night. I really need to get a new florescent overhead lamp back there, and install it. In any case, I wasn't interested in doing more with that tonight, but it is a start. Then I looked at the dishes. I swear, sometimes, tasks I hate stare right back at me, daring me to do what they are sure I won't. Fooled them. I did the dishes and sent the towels to the laundry, the dish clothe with go into the wash when it is drier tomorrow.
Hmm, let me think about what tomorrow brings. Mass at noon, the real noon. Laundry whenever, hopefully first thing. A call to the cwp agent. Finding the number for BCI for my friend. Oh, right, my friend called and said he had put the shelf together. He thought he might want another one. I told him I would be in tomorrow, for Mass, so I could come and get him if he was serious. It sounds like he wasn't serious but might like to go shopping again so he wouldn't mind me coming in and taking him shopping. I know there is more. While in town, as well, I plan to look for art and perhaps good used furnishings and perhaps plants. Just... browsing unless I see something that absolutely wows me (not likely). Weekly stops through certain places might eventually yield some home decor I can more than simply live with.
It has been helping me when I organize my thoughts the night before, so that when I wake up I am already almost trying to do the things before I have time to settle in. I am not sure that is the whole of it, it simply helps. Let me think, put laundry in first thing, after my routine. Then shower and dress for Mass. Perhaps the phone call, looking up the phone number for my friend, or researching filing a court claim without a lawyer. Then Mass, and on in to town and whatever may come that way. Today, for whatever reason, I never had to turn the heat beyond 70. Even that seemed a bit warm at times. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know how these things work. As well, though my goal is to be up at 8:00, if I don't rise until 9:15 or something? So what, I think, I have things to do. More, other hurdles are easily bypassed, things that would normally shut me down. I can't stop now! Go, go, go!
I must be doing something right with Sassy. At not quite a year and an half she has started to become a lap cat. She comes, unbidden, and will stay almost indefinitely. With two girls fighting for lap time I am rarely without a little furry boss on or about me. At least they have learned to share. Sam will sit on the back of my chair and wait for her time, sometimes. Other times she will just get peeved and storm off. Have you ever heard a cat, all 7 pounds of her, stomp? Way too funny but there it is.
I best get going. Sleep beckons. Good night.
.
I did collect the dirty laundry, taking it back to the laundry room. I keep forgetting about the terrible light back there at night. I really need to get a new florescent overhead lamp back there, and install it. In any case, I wasn't interested in doing more with that tonight, but it is a start. Then I looked at the dishes. I swear, sometimes, tasks I hate stare right back at me, daring me to do what they are sure I won't. Fooled them. I did the dishes and sent the towels to the laundry, the dish clothe with go into the wash when it is drier tomorrow.
Hmm, let me think about what tomorrow brings. Mass at noon, the real noon. Laundry whenever, hopefully first thing. A call to the cwp agent. Finding the number for BCI for my friend. Oh, right, my friend called and said he had put the shelf together. He thought he might want another one. I told him I would be in tomorrow, for Mass, so I could come and get him if he was serious. It sounds like he wasn't serious but might like to go shopping again so he wouldn't mind me coming in and taking him shopping. I know there is more. While in town, as well, I plan to look for art and perhaps good used furnishings and perhaps plants. Just... browsing unless I see something that absolutely wows me (not likely). Weekly stops through certain places might eventually yield some home decor I can more than simply live with.
It has been helping me when I organize my thoughts the night before, so that when I wake up I am already almost trying to do the things before I have time to settle in. I am not sure that is the whole of it, it simply helps. Let me think, put laundry in first thing, after my routine. Then shower and dress for Mass. Perhaps the phone call, looking up the phone number for my friend, or researching filing a court claim without a lawyer. Then Mass, and on in to town and whatever may come that way. Today, for whatever reason, I never had to turn the heat beyond 70. Even that seemed a bit warm at times. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know how these things work. As well, though my goal is to be up at 8:00, if I don't rise until 9:15 or something? So what, I think, I have things to do. More, other hurdles are easily bypassed, things that would normally shut me down. I can't stop now! Go, go, go!
I must be doing something right with Sassy. At not quite a year and an half she has started to become a lap cat. She comes, unbidden, and will stay almost indefinitely. With two girls fighting for lap time I am rarely without a little furry boss on or about me. At least they have learned to share. Sam will sit on the back of my chair and wait for her time, sometimes. Other times she will just get peeved and storm off. Have you ever heard a cat, all 7 pounds of her, stomp? Way too funny but there it is.
I best get going. Sleep beckons. Good night.
Jean wrote...
.
.
I saw what Jean had done and I had to steal it. *squeals with delight* Yes, I suppose I might be a little... eccentric. But this hit so many bones beside, but not excluding, my funny bone that now that I know how to do this, I have to put it here. So sayeth Jean.
it's Monday...
Death is a blind date
in top hat and tail while you
sit there in your sweats
.
I saw what Jean had done and I had to steal it. *squeals with delight* Yes, I suppose I might be a little... eccentric. But this hit so many bones beside, but not excluding, my funny bone that now that I know how to do this, I have to put it here. So sayeth Jean.
it's Monday...
Death is a blind date
in top hat and tail while you
sit there in your sweats
What a day!
.
.
I am just getting back home at 19:00. After missing Mass and returning home, I got on the phone with the lawyer. He thinks it would be in my interest to negotiate myself. He suggested a number that I should expect. So, I called the insurance company back. They aren't coming very close to that number at all. I may look into how complicated, or even if it is allowed, to represent myself in court, then file against them. Just that might make it so they offer a bit more. As is they are barely paying more than travel over damages. She did try to call me later in the day, leaving a message that they would come up almost two hundred more but really they need to come up about a thousand more, and change. Then I took the IRS forms and proof of sale and such sent them right out, routing number included, and yes I checked an account type on the form as well. I did try to call the agent back but again simply got his message machine. He didn't call me back either. Somehow I think I am in for a full court run-around to try and run me out of time. I am glad I started on this right away. I had best stick to it. After sixty days they can just say they gave me a chance and I didn't "respond", so they have no option but to restrict my rights. It IS how they operate, you know. Oh, and I finally found out where the local bishop lives, and delivered the thank you card and gift certificate. Next month I have two more of those to go out. Sooner if I can get that gift visa card to work. Another task to do other tasks? Innit always the way? *grins*
As I suggested, I went in to visit my friend. He happened to be home and thought doing some shopping and having dinner sounded good. But while we were talking, I asked him what he needed to get or do, as far as paperwork, and what to do with it. He thought he knew someone who might know but was reluctant to call, or something. I egged him on a bit, finally he called. We found out what paperwork he needed and where to get it. So I suggested we do this, today. You see, he is having trouble buying a firearm as well. This paperwork will clear that up, or should. You know bureaucracies! I drove him to get that paperwork and now we have to figure out who to send it to, or what to do with it. Copies, I suggested, you might have to send it in a few times. It's your paperwork, at best bureaucrats don't care, at worst they will lose the paperwork over and over because they hate guns. So, now I need to find the phone number and get that to him. Then he has to call and see if that is all the paperwork he needs, where it needs to go, and anything else that might be involved with him getting the right to buy a gun back. All because of the minor offense of messing up a kid's hair, and that "crime" being called a "domestic". They didn't live together, merely in adjoining apartments. He thought the kid was the one making most of the noise, you see. But the cops put it down as "domestic" for some reason. I guess anything to keep as many people from having guns as possible.
After that, a bit of shopping. I bought enough cat food for the month and then some, milk, and more cat litter. He got some things on his list, including more BACON! He thinks he might be addicted. Ah, it'll grow thin on him in time. From there we went to dinner. The Mexican food place I so enjoy. He had, of his own accord, the shrimp ceviche. I was impressed. I just had a four part dinner. I ate more than I was hungry for, but felt the need to eat big. It has been quite some time since I had more than a smattering of food.
All in all, a great day. I might finish the dishes and do a few loads of laundry yet tonight. Then my routine and on to bed. I forgot to get the trash out, and recycling. But I create very little trash and, now that I don't drink cans of soda, my recycling takes a goodly time to fill with milk jugs and cans of cat food being the major sources. Next time, surely.
Tomorrow? Mass, for sure. Another call to the cwp agent. Research about filing a lawsuit independently of a lawyer. Whatever remains of dishes and laundry. And, of course, my routine. If I can get to the weight bench... No, no, I want to do that on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So I'll wait one more day to start out right. I would also like to start sweeping through consignment shops and such for art for my walls. Little statues of a gothic nature, such as gargoyle statues and pedestals and perhaps lighting, and a few other assorted trivia to liven up my home, to make it my home. And plants. It is time to move in!
Hmm, I would also like to begin going through drawers, closets, and such, regarding clothing. I would like to get that all sorted out and stored rightly. And there are still a number of areas that need to be arranged, such as around my computer desk, and a few remaining flat surfaces that need to be organized and straightened. Books need to begin going to shelves, being organized there. These are things I can do on ho-hum days, when I can get little else going. I feel extremely pleased, satisfied, when I do some such small task. I see it in my mind before it is done, and make it so, and so enjoy.
What an amazing time I am having! I really do like this, and will keep working to keep this up. I hated this weekend though. I needed the rest but could not find it resting. I am going to have to do something for my R&R's. Perhaps getting out for hikes, taking one of my firearms for a little target practice on my own, you know... Doing something! Even a drive to someplace I have not been before if I am too tired for much else. You never know, when I get there maybe my feet will lead me on. Yes... YES! I... I think I can.
.
I am just getting back home at 19:00. After missing Mass and returning home, I got on the phone with the lawyer. He thinks it would be in my interest to negotiate myself. He suggested a number that I should expect. So, I called the insurance company back. They aren't coming very close to that number at all. I may look into how complicated, or even if it is allowed, to represent myself in court, then file against them. Just that might make it so they offer a bit more. As is they are barely paying more than travel over damages. She did try to call me later in the day, leaving a message that they would come up almost two hundred more but really they need to come up about a thousand more, and change. Then I took the IRS forms and proof of sale and such sent them right out, routing number included, and yes I checked an account type on the form as well. I did try to call the agent back but again simply got his message machine. He didn't call me back either. Somehow I think I am in for a full court run-around to try and run me out of time. I am glad I started on this right away. I had best stick to it. After sixty days they can just say they gave me a chance and I didn't "respond", so they have no option but to restrict my rights. It IS how they operate, you know. Oh, and I finally found out where the local bishop lives, and delivered the thank you card and gift certificate. Next month I have two more of those to go out. Sooner if I can get that gift visa card to work. Another task to do other tasks? Innit always the way? *grins*
As I suggested, I went in to visit my friend. He happened to be home and thought doing some shopping and having dinner sounded good. But while we were talking, I asked him what he needed to get or do, as far as paperwork, and what to do with it. He thought he knew someone who might know but was reluctant to call, or something. I egged him on a bit, finally he called. We found out what paperwork he needed and where to get it. So I suggested we do this, today. You see, he is having trouble buying a firearm as well. This paperwork will clear that up, or should. You know bureaucracies! I drove him to get that paperwork and now we have to figure out who to send it to, or what to do with it. Copies, I suggested, you might have to send it in a few times. It's your paperwork, at best bureaucrats don't care, at worst they will lose the paperwork over and over because they hate guns. So, now I need to find the phone number and get that to him. Then he has to call and see if that is all the paperwork he needs, where it needs to go, and anything else that might be involved with him getting the right to buy a gun back. All because of the minor offense of messing up a kid's hair, and that "crime" being called a "domestic". They didn't live together, merely in adjoining apartments. He thought the kid was the one making most of the noise, you see. But the cops put it down as "domestic" for some reason. I guess anything to keep as many people from having guns as possible.
After that, a bit of shopping. I bought enough cat food for the month and then some, milk, and more cat litter. He got some things on his list, including more BACON! He thinks he might be addicted. Ah, it'll grow thin on him in time. From there we went to dinner. The Mexican food place I so enjoy. He had, of his own accord, the shrimp ceviche. I was impressed. I just had a four part dinner. I ate more than I was hungry for, but felt the need to eat big. It has been quite some time since I had more than a smattering of food.
All in all, a great day. I might finish the dishes and do a few loads of laundry yet tonight. Then my routine and on to bed. I forgot to get the trash out, and recycling. But I create very little trash and, now that I don't drink cans of soda, my recycling takes a goodly time to fill with milk jugs and cans of cat food being the major sources. Next time, surely.
Tomorrow? Mass, for sure. Another call to the cwp agent. Research about filing a lawsuit independently of a lawyer. Whatever remains of dishes and laundry. And, of course, my routine. If I can get to the weight bench... No, no, I want to do that on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. So I'll wait one more day to start out right. I would also like to start sweeping through consignment shops and such for art for my walls. Little statues of a gothic nature, such as gargoyle statues and pedestals and perhaps lighting, and a few other assorted trivia to liven up my home, to make it my home. And plants. It is time to move in!
Hmm, I would also like to begin going through drawers, closets, and such, regarding clothing. I would like to get that all sorted out and stored rightly. And there are still a number of areas that need to be arranged, such as around my computer desk, and a few remaining flat surfaces that need to be organized and straightened. Books need to begin going to shelves, being organized there. These are things I can do on ho-hum days, when I can get little else going. I feel extremely pleased, satisfied, when I do some such small task. I see it in my mind before it is done, and make it so, and so enjoy.
What an amazing time I am having! I really do like this, and will keep working to keep this up. I hated this weekend though. I needed the rest but could not find it resting. I am going to have to do something for my R&R's. Perhaps getting out for hikes, taking one of my firearms for a little target practice on my own, you know... Doing something! Even a drive to someplace I have not been before if I am too tired for much else. You never know, when I get there maybe my feet will lead me on. Yes... YES! I... I think I can.
Ah-ha!
.
.
There is your problem right there, suggested my smart and wise consciousness. With daylight savings having been set back, Mass and my watch were simply incongruent. I have reset my clocks and watch now. That should help. I didn't find out until I called the lawyer's office. I asked if he was supposed to call me or if I was to call, when told he was not in the office. I said that he was supposed to call at 13:30, but that it was nearly 14:00, and that... The assistant stopped me right there though and told me it was only five before 13:00 "here". Hmm, I'm here I thought for a second. Jean told me, too! She warned us and I simply forgot to follow up on that. No problems, it'll all work out.
I have been thinking about past relationships with women, and crossing the sex line. I still don't have it exactly down, but I think my new take is a bit more certain. You can, and will, as a man, be feminine sometimes. I am not talking gay, I am merely saying that you WILL have feminine traits appear. And, no, women don't like that. They are just as piggish about roles and such as any man, maybe more so. If too they like to venture into the man-world more than men ever like to go into their realm. Anyway, never worry about it. You can do that, and usually scott free if you do it boldly, and heck, enjoy it. What you DON'T want to do is to be too sexy in the wrong way, or more, steal her sexual thunder. This is what she will not tolerate, what will make her hot under the collar. And if you are going to be sexy, bring her into it, make her a part of it, or don't do it. Depending on what you have going. That is more closely aligned with how I understand things.
On another topic, with dreams of war all around, I have been considering things. While it is true that I do not have a solid set of memories from the service, I am pretty sure I never saw combat, not in any official sense. However, I was a warrior my whole life. I was never a general, a grunt, special forces, or an officer in the U.S. military. As my health improves, my ability to see things more clearly comes into play. What I have done is been at war since a very young age. I was a grunt, on those front lines. I was an officer, in that I dealt with adults as such. I was a general in that, once my boots were on the ground in a new area, I began making plans for dealing with whoever might be shown to be a threat. And I was special forces in that I was always operating in enemy territory. There was no way out for me, no where to flee, no safe haven. I was and am all there is, for me. That is the truth of it. I was never at war but I was never at peace, either. That remains. I have known more war than most any soldier. The rest... it was just a means of making sense of all of my life. Putting things into words others could understand, including myself. I have only lost everything, over and over, and been sent back in to do it again. Perhaps, by buying a home and settling in, I might find rest, peace, security, safety, and begin building a life, finally. We will see.
Well, on to other things. I will do what I may today. Lots of big and little things remain. Oh, and one more clock to set. Yeah, and those dishes. I think I can get those kicked out before the call. Afterward I need to get the paperwork to the post office and send it out today. What I will do after that, I can't be sure. I might just check on my friend. Shooting, shopping, or even a meal. Getting him and myself out, again.
Good day.
.
There is your problem right there, suggested my smart and wise consciousness. With daylight savings having been set back, Mass and my watch were simply incongruent. I have reset my clocks and watch now. That should help. I didn't find out until I called the lawyer's office. I asked if he was supposed to call me or if I was to call, when told he was not in the office. I said that he was supposed to call at 13:30, but that it was nearly 14:00, and that... The assistant stopped me right there though and told me it was only five before 13:00 "here". Hmm, I'm here I thought for a second. Jean told me, too! She warned us and I simply forgot to follow up on that. No problems, it'll all work out.
I have been thinking about past relationships with women, and crossing the sex line. I still don't have it exactly down, but I think my new take is a bit more certain. You can, and will, as a man, be feminine sometimes. I am not talking gay, I am merely saying that you WILL have feminine traits appear. And, no, women don't like that. They are just as piggish about roles and such as any man, maybe more so. If too they like to venture into the man-world more than men ever like to go into their realm. Anyway, never worry about it. You can do that, and usually scott free if you do it boldly, and heck, enjoy it. What you DON'T want to do is to be too sexy in the wrong way, or more, steal her sexual thunder. This is what she will not tolerate, what will make her hot under the collar. And if you are going to be sexy, bring her into it, make her a part of it, or don't do it. Depending on what you have going. That is more closely aligned with how I understand things.
On another topic, with dreams of war all around, I have been considering things. While it is true that I do not have a solid set of memories from the service, I am pretty sure I never saw combat, not in any official sense. However, I was a warrior my whole life. I was never a general, a grunt, special forces, or an officer in the U.S. military. As my health improves, my ability to see things more clearly comes into play. What I have done is been at war since a very young age. I was a grunt, on those front lines. I was an officer, in that I dealt with adults as such. I was a general in that, once my boots were on the ground in a new area, I began making plans for dealing with whoever might be shown to be a threat. And I was special forces in that I was always operating in enemy territory. There was no way out for me, no where to flee, no safe haven. I was and am all there is, for me. That is the truth of it. I was never at war but I was never at peace, either. That remains. I have known more war than most any soldier. The rest... it was just a means of making sense of all of my life. Putting things into words others could understand, including myself. I have only lost everything, over and over, and been sent back in to do it again. Perhaps, by buying a home and settling in, I might find rest, peace, security, safety, and begin building a life, finally. We will see.
Well, on to other things. I will do what I may today. Lots of big and little things remain. Oh, and one more clock to set. Yeah, and those dishes. I think I can get those kicked out before the call. Afterward I need to get the paperwork to the post office and send it out today. What I will do after that, I can't be sure. I might just check on my friend. Shooting, shopping, or even a meal. Getting him and myself out, again.
Good day.
What in the world?
.
.
I showered, dressed, and headed out. I had the packet to send and (I thought but wrongly) the police report regarding the accident and was headed to Mass to be there just in time. Some days I simply can't push fast enough to be to Mass early it seems. Anyway, I made it to Church with about five minutes to spare. I walked up and... the door was locked, again. *shrug* I can only do what I can do. I will eventually get this straightened out.
My water pills are working though, and after looking through the paperwork, I realized I didn't have the police report. So, when Church was a bust, I headed back home to pick up the report, void, and I am also quite thirsty. I also found the case file, the adjuster's name and number, the adjuster who is doing the final settlement, and wrote these on the police report. Now I can take off the tie, put on a more comfortable shirt, drink a glass or two of fluids, and... figure out what to do next. I have an hour until the call but I don't want to be on the road or otherwise out and about when the call comes, so I will just wait. My guess is my mother is on the road, being a Monday and sort of knowing her schedule. There is no need to call her for the sheriff's number at this point. Hmm, dishes could be washed. Yes indeed. It has sort of become a puzzle, figuring out what can be done with this time slot, or being in town, or whatever. Fun! Really, it is sort of fun.
Anyway, it looks like I am off to a decent start of a new week. I hope your week isn't a full on Monday blues. If it is, ignore it and just do. That's what I am doing, and I started before I could ponder it. That might be the trick, when I am healthy. Later.
.
I showered, dressed, and headed out. I had the packet to send and (I thought but wrongly) the police report regarding the accident and was headed to Mass to be there just in time. Some days I simply can't push fast enough to be to Mass early it seems. Anyway, I made it to Church with about five minutes to spare. I walked up and... the door was locked, again. *shrug* I can only do what I can do. I will eventually get this straightened out.
My water pills are working though, and after looking through the paperwork, I realized I didn't have the police report. So, when Church was a bust, I headed back home to pick up the report, void, and I am also quite thirsty. I also found the case file, the adjuster's name and number, the adjuster who is doing the final settlement, and wrote these on the police report. Now I can take off the tie, put on a more comfortable shirt, drink a glass or two of fluids, and... figure out what to do next. I have an hour until the call but I don't want to be on the road or otherwise out and about when the call comes, so I will just wait. My guess is my mother is on the road, being a Monday and sort of knowing her schedule. There is no need to call her for the sheriff's number at this point. Hmm, dishes could be washed. Yes indeed. It has sort of become a puzzle, figuring out what can be done with this time slot, or being in town, or whatever. Fun! Really, it is sort of fun.
Anyway, it looks like I am off to a decent start of a new week. I hope your week isn't a full on Monday blues. If it is, ignore it and just do. That's what I am doing, and I started before I could ponder it. That might be the trick, when I am healthy. Later.
I was worried because of the end of last week and the weekend.
.
.
Was the ride over? Would I be too tired Monday to get up. Well, it is Monday, so what is the verdict?
I don't know. I don't even know if I am tired. And yet it doesn't matter. I have a ton of things to do, it took a bit longer to get out of bed than usual so I am already running late. I have done my morning routine. I just need to shower, clean up, and head out. But... I am not quite awake enough to know where I might be going or what I might be doing, so blindly jumping might end up taking up more time running around than it is worth. No, a little wake up time, a consideration of tasks, and then the formation of a plan will be how today goes. In other words, I think I am doing just fine. I won't promise to get everything done, or do it perfectly. I just think I will get done what is possible to do and go from there. I don't know and it doesn't matter, at this point, if I am tired. It is apparent that I am not too tired.
Hmm, what is on today's list? Writing a letter, figuring how to print and send that, sending off the tax packet after adding my routing number, calling the BCI agent, contacting my previous sheriff, speaking with the lawyer, Mass... I don't know what else, but I think I will concentrate on these things. Now, in what order? I'll think about it as I awaken.
Odd dreams lately. Some would think them heavily into the dark side but most don't understand. Dreaming of war and some of the intrigue surrounding it is not always a dark thing, for me. War has been, at times, a place where men have graced the notion that we are God's children. More so than any cathedral or church, it is in dark times when hope is tested, faith may not (seem to) attend your needs, charity is at a premium, when men will find out just exactly who they are. When men must become course and calloused, when even survival cannot be assured, when all seems lost, it is in these times that men may rise to truly be all we ever can be, and to lay down our lives for our brothers, or have to swallow those sacrifices. It is not all darkness, it is just powerful. And most people do not prefer to be tested, not with those stakes. My dreams have been like this lately. And, yeah, there have been times of tears. I'm such a sentimental old fool when it comes to such things. But don't poison the fish heads for my soup! (Never mind, inside joke.)
Ah, but isn't she versatile? She sure brings back memories. As does Judas Priest, in a way.
Well, time to get on it. First, a bit of news, then the blog line-up, then just a bit of simple gaming, then... Perhaps looking over the list and ordering it. Get to it folks, daylight is burning. Good day, pilgrim.
.
Was the ride over? Would I be too tired Monday to get up. Well, it is Monday, so what is the verdict?
I don't know. I don't even know if I am tired. And yet it doesn't matter. I have a ton of things to do, it took a bit longer to get out of bed than usual so I am already running late. I have done my morning routine. I just need to shower, clean up, and head out. But... I am not quite awake enough to know where I might be going or what I might be doing, so blindly jumping might end up taking up more time running around than it is worth. No, a little wake up time, a consideration of tasks, and then the formation of a plan will be how today goes. In other words, I think I am doing just fine. I won't promise to get everything done, or do it perfectly. I just think I will get done what is possible to do and go from there. I don't know and it doesn't matter, at this point, if I am tired. It is apparent that I am not too tired.
Hmm, what is on today's list? Writing a letter, figuring how to print and send that, sending off the tax packet after adding my routing number, calling the BCI agent, contacting my previous sheriff, speaking with the lawyer, Mass... I don't know what else, but I think I will concentrate on these things. Now, in what order? I'll think about it as I awaken.
Odd dreams lately. Some would think them heavily into the dark side but most don't understand. Dreaming of war and some of the intrigue surrounding it is not always a dark thing, for me. War has been, at times, a place where men have graced the notion that we are God's children. More so than any cathedral or church, it is in dark times when hope is tested, faith may not (seem to) attend your needs, charity is at a premium, when men will find out just exactly who they are. When men must become course and calloused, when even survival cannot be assured, when all seems lost, it is in these times that men may rise to truly be all we ever can be, and to lay down our lives for our brothers, or have to swallow those sacrifices. It is not all darkness, it is just powerful. And most people do not prefer to be tested, not with those stakes. My dreams have been like this lately. And, yeah, there have been times of tears. I'm such a sentimental old fool when it comes to such things. But don't poison the fish heads for my soup! (Never mind, inside joke.)
Ah, but isn't she versatile? She sure brings back memories. As does Judas Priest, in a way.
Well, time to get on it. First, a bit of news, then the blog line-up, then just a bit of simple gaming, then... Perhaps looking over the list and ordering it. Get to it folks, daylight is burning. Good day, pilgrim.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Why is it?
.
.
It's trash night. All I have to do is clean the litter, empty a few little containers into the big... etc. It isn't a lot of work. Here I am, at midnight, realizing I am just too tired to mess with it. I've actually stayed up hoping I would get it done. Now, since I am up late, the morning is going to be tough and I still have to get it all out. I just couldn't bust through. Bah!
Oh, I think I have found the perfect Christmas gift for my lady friend. She has no capacity to hand a computer. She simply can't afford a cable connection. Which means she can't have wi-fi either. Still, she can stop at many places, in the little metro where she lives, or if she should travel, and find free wi-fi. My Mom? My brother and family will get a card, same with most others. My local friend might end up with either several sets of warm undershirts/long johns or a phone on my connection. His phone sucks. I'm think on that.
What do I want for Christmas? Longer battery life! Mine seems to be on the fritz most of the time. Just a little more dependable juice.
Good night.
.
It's trash night. All I have to do is clean the litter, empty a few little containers into the big... etc. It isn't a lot of work. Here I am, at midnight, realizing I am just too tired to mess with it. I've actually stayed up hoping I would get it done. Now, since I am up late, the morning is going to be tough and I still have to get it all out. I just couldn't bust through. Bah!
Oh, I think I have found the perfect Christmas gift for my lady friend. She has no capacity to hand a computer. She simply can't afford a cable connection. Which means she can't have wi-fi either. Still, she can stop at many places, in the little metro where she lives, or if she should travel, and find free wi-fi. My Mom? My brother and family will get a card, same with most others. My local friend might end up with either several sets of warm undershirts/long johns or a phone on my connection. His phone sucks. I'm think on that.
What do I want for Christmas? Longer battery life! Mine seems to be on the fritz most of the time. Just a little more dependable juice.
Good night.
Ah, finally!
.
.
I could send the tax forms and copies of various purchase pages as is. I will make one addition, though, adding my routing number to have the check deposited right to my account. That should save some time, and possibly significant time. From the time they adjudicate the amount to the time it takes to send that to the printer, print the check, put that check in a letter, and send it, given how fast government workers have a reputation for working... wait! break time!... No, direct deposit works best. I wasn't sure I was going to get through it. The instructions are akin to reading what a bunch of seven year old children can devise for calculus. They don't know what they are talking about, or how to write what they do know very well. I still expect them to either reject the claim or worse, perhaps not even letting me know. Government workers have a very bad reputation. Still, I have done my part and it is going in tomorrow. I even found the address where the package needs to go. Not even that was easy, particularly, as it is based on any of a number of regions, and whether you are sending a check, and sometimes date of the return dependent.
Oh, tomorrow is looking too big. I need to send this, talk to the lawyer, contact the cwp agent, get a letter written for my mother and get that sent, contact a sheriff, and... some other stuff. I had hoped to go to Mass, but the lawyer's secretary had a 13:30 slot open for the lawyer to call. Hmm, no, maybe I can still make Mass. Oh, I ought to put confession into my calender too. That is an easy thing to forget, or at least lose track.
I feel MUCH better finally having, with some surety, the home credit forms filled and ready to send. It has been almost a year and a half. Time flies when you are half dead. I have been thinking of all the things I could do. I could put a large payment against my home, auto, or clean up a bunch of minor bills. I could, also, simply spend it. Yummy! I am strongly leaning on paying off my auto. This would almost do it. That would free up somewhere in the neighborhood of $550 a month. That would pay off most of my minor bills, along with the high amounts I am already paying, in about one and an half years. That would free up, say, another $400 to $500. Leaving me almost a thousand extra a month, much of which would go as extra toward the house, say $600 extra on the house, $300 extra to get in trouble with. Yes, something like that. Just dreaming here. Actually, my bills would be lower by then. I bet it would only take, say, a year to be done with all of the outlying bills. Hmm. Of course, paying off the X would require both this and a real settlement from the insurance company. I can't wait to talk to the lawyer about it, to see what he thinks I should expect.
Sam sure is bossy. If I haven't given her enough attention, she hops up, pushes her head between my hands as I try to type, and simply lets me know it is time. Sassy is more vocal. *Meow*... *meow, meow*... *MEOWWW* *trill* *meow?* Ugh but she can be annoying. Both of them. That is half of the reason I enjoy them though. They make every effort to not allow me to sit idly by while they are hungry and want some attention. I sure like my girls.
Good night.
.
I could send the tax forms and copies of various purchase pages as is. I will make one addition, though, adding my routing number to have the check deposited right to my account. That should save some time, and possibly significant time. From the time they adjudicate the amount to the time it takes to send that to the printer, print the check, put that check in a letter, and send it, given how fast government workers have a reputation for working... wait! break time!... No, direct deposit works best. I wasn't sure I was going to get through it. The instructions are akin to reading what a bunch of seven year old children can devise for calculus. They don't know what they are talking about, or how to write what they do know very well. I still expect them to either reject the claim or worse, perhaps not even letting me know. Government workers have a very bad reputation. Still, I have done my part and it is going in tomorrow. I even found the address where the package needs to go. Not even that was easy, particularly, as it is based on any of a number of regions, and whether you are sending a check, and sometimes date of the return dependent.
Oh, tomorrow is looking too big. I need to send this, talk to the lawyer, contact the cwp agent, get a letter written for my mother and get that sent, contact a sheriff, and... some other stuff. I had hoped to go to Mass, but the lawyer's secretary had a 13:30 slot open for the lawyer to call. Hmm, no, maybe I can still make Mass. Oh, I ought to put confession into my calender too. That is an easy thing to forget, or at least lose track.
I feel MUCH better finally having, with some surety, the home credit forms filled and ready to send. It has been almost a year and a half. Time flies when you are half dead. I have been thinking of all the things I could do. I could put a large payment against my home, auto, or clean up a bunch of minor bills. I could, also, simply spend it. Yummy! I am strongly leaning on paying off my auto. This would almost do it. That would free up somewhere in the neighborhood of $550 a month. That would pay off most of my minor bills, along with the high amounts I am already paying, in about one and an half years. That would free up, say, another $400 to $500. Leaving me almost a thousand extra a month, much of which would go as extra toward the house, say $600 extra on the house, $300 extra to get in trouble with. Yes, something like that. Just dreaming here. Actually, my bills would be lower by then. I bet it would only take, say, a year to be done with all of the outlying bills. Hmm. Of course, paying off the X would require both this and a real settlement from the insurance company. I can't wait to talk to the lawyer about it, to see what he thinks I should expect.
Sam sure is bossy. If I haven't given her enough attention, she hops up, pushes her head between my hands as I try to type, and simply lets me know it is time. Sassy is more vocal. *Meow*... *meow, meow*... *MEOWWW* *trill* *meow?* Ugh but she can be annoying. Both of them. That is half of the reason I enjoy them though. They make every effort to not allow me to sit idly by while they are hungry and want some attention. I sure like my girls.
Good night.
Another rough day.
.
.
I keep working with the heat. The actual temperature is high, higher than I generally like it and yet I am still cold. Showers don't help and I am wearing two layers of clothing and thick wool socks. I think when I am tired I also feel cold. Yeah, it must be my heart. While it is in bad shape, sometimes it works better, sometimes worse. Either that or my body needs or wants more than it can get, so goes on strike from time to time. Thus is explained bipolar. Well, that and when I get a window of opportunity I take it for all it is worth, knowing when it passes it may be some time before I can get to things again.
I am not yet sure if warming my body enough will actually help me function. I know to a minor degree it does, but in a major real way? Of course, the last few days, I simply haven't been able to get warm. I have even pushed the furnace to push the temperature to 78 F. Hot showers don't work either, when I get out my felt comfort zone plunges and I have to work at getting warm again.
I have been working on the tax forms. It has been slow going. The IRS certainly doesn't make it easy, and I am doing a simple tax return form. Then I have to do an addendum form. They seem to write whatever they want, vaguely, occasionally, defining what they mean. I haven't filled one of these out in 25 years or more. It doesn't help. If it were for a few hundred dollars I wouldn't even bother. I can't believe there hasn't been a revolt, just on tax code alone. Not my problem, usually. I guess Americans truly have become peasants, following unclear orders, doing what they are told, and simply accepting whatever is given to them, as a group. The tax code is so convoluted that they could probably arrest anyone on tax violations, with just a minimum of looking, considering how loose the definitions are and how vaguely they are explained. That is how communists and socialists always worked things. It gave the dear leaders and the apparatchik the leverage to do whatever and shut up anyone who disagrees. Ugly.
I can't seem to get anything else going. I might not even finish the paperwork. Tired. Beat. Cold. I'll still do my routine. I'll still keep the other things on my mind and get to them the first chance I get. But for now, not much will happen. At least it is a weekend. I don't have things on my list I can get to. So, for now, it is okay. Tomorrow, though, I have a dozen things to do. Rounding up the last of my personal references, writing a letter for my mother to consider, discussing things with the agent regarding the cwp, talking with the lawyer regarding the accident, and perhaps Mass. Those are hoped for, but what I have going this week. Well, and finishing the paperwork to file for a credit.
On top of that, I need to get caught back up with my home. I want to stay on top of it this time, not having to do a major job later on. Oh, but I am pleased how things are going. I want more, but this is as much as I could possibly do. I want to do many more, bigger, heavier, harder things. But let me stay with these baby steps. Let me prove that I can do these, then consider something more. I think I can get there. Good day. Perhaps even good night.
.
I keep working with the heat. The actual temperature is high, higher than I generally like it and yet I am still cold. Showers don't help and I am wearing two layers of clothing and thick wool socks. I think when I am tired I also feel cold. Yeah, it must be my heart. While it is in bad shape, sometimes it works better, sometimes worse. Either that or my body needs or wants more than it can get, so goes on strike from time to time. Thus is explained bipolar. Well, that and when I get a window of opportunity I take it for all it is worth, knowing when it passes it may be some time before I can get to things again.
I am not yet sure if warming my body enough will actually help me function. I know to a minor degree it does, but in a major real way? Of course, the last few days, I simply haven't been able to get warm. I have even pushed the furnace to push the temperature to 78 F. Hot showers don't work either, when I get out my felt comfort zone plunges and I have to work at getting warm again.
I have been working on the tax forms. It has been slow going. The IRS certainly doesn't make it easy, and I am doing a simple tax return form. Then I have to do an addendum form. They seem to write whatever they want, vaguely, occasionally, defining what they mean. I haven't filled one of these out in 25 years or more. It doesn't help. If it were for a few hundred dollars I wouldn't even bother. I can't believe there hasn't been a revolt, just on tax code alone. Not my problem, usually. I guess Americans truly have become peasants, following unclear orders, doing what they are told, and simply accepting whatever is given to them, as a group. The tax code is so convoluted that they could probably arrest anyone on tax violations, with just a minimum of looking, considering how loose the definitions are and how vaguely they are explained. That is how communists and socialists always worked things. It gave the dear leaders and the apparatchik the leverage to do whatever and shut up anyone who disagrees. Ugly.
I can't seem to get anything else going. I might not even finish the paperwork. Tired. Beat. Cold. I'll still do my routine. I'll still keep the other things on my mind and get to them the first chance I get. But for now, not much will happen. At least it is a weekend. I don't have things on my list I can get to. So, for now, it is okay. Tomorrow, though, I have a dozen things to do. Rounding up the last of my personal references, writing a letter for my mother to consider, discussing things with the agent regarding the cwp, talking with the lawyer regarding the accident, and perhaps Mass. Those are hoped for, but what I have going this week. Well, and finishing the paperwork to file for a credit.
On top of that, I need to get caught back up with my home. I want to stay on top of it this time, not having to do a major job later on. Oh, but I am pleased how things are going. I want more, but this is as much as I could possibly do. I want to do many more, bigger, heavier, harder things. But let me stay with these baby steps. Let me prove that I can do these, then consider something more. I think I can get there. Good day. Perhaps even good night.
A true day off.
.
.
I didn't set an alarm, I didn't get up when I could have, I slept until I woke naturally. It was wonderful. I do have to change the kitty litter and take the trash and recycling out, I would like to do dishes and some laundry, and I probably will do those last, but at a leisurely pace. Oh, and I want to look over those tax forms and have those ready to send Monday. I did call my mother, and put forth my proposal regarding her involvement with me clearing my record so as to obtain a concealed weapons permit. She is on-board, and a little unhappy with the V.A. herself. She has done her own research and come to realize just what a piss poor job the V.A. has done for me and doesn't like that they still, when they see they have made a mistake, won't back off on this. She will also be getting me contact information for our sheriff. He is the same guy that processed my claim for a permit to buy handguns (same background check), and for four years. I have two other personal references lined up as well. Once this is cleared, if it gets done (Utah is rather statist and the feds are worse), I won't be buying guns in a hurry. One every six months to a year, no rush then. The 9mm first, though, I think.
I tried something new yesterday. I kept the heat higher most of the day, save when I was gone, as I never did warm up. Then I didn't turn the heat down or close my door last night. Closing my door effectively turns off most heat to my room. I even slept with long johns (bottoms), a t-shirt and layering shirt, and socks on. Then I added three blankets. Way more than I can normally stand! I think, when I get cold like that/this, my heart is having problems. Either that or my body isn't handling the low flow well, again. That is what is causing me to be tired. I would also guess, just a guess at this time, that in the summer I become much more susceptible to heat when I go through this. I am figuring things out, no thanks to the medical community. Tinkering with my medicines, like a mad doctor, has been the only way to tell. I just haven't been on the right doses of the right medicines, to date, until now, to do that. At least there is that. I also found a 19:00 Mass locally. I may go there from time to time, if I miss at the main Church. Not today, I don't think, probably.
What an absolutely amazing world I am living in now though. If the medicines don't fix my heart, if they can at least maintain it, I will do just fine for a long time I think. And when I do, eventually, check out? It will be fast, and a little harsh, if I am awake. Not bad. But too, as I start to work out, perhaps that will help. On these medicines, unlike Ritalin, I won't always be able to work out. But that is fine, as long as I do what I can. I will permanently live in a hit and miss world. I think that the hits will be much more common and the misses will be less devastating and shorter term. Now that I know what I am working with, I can get a grip on it. For a nearly dead man, I am a wonder. The superman of the lame, lazy, and crazy! :)
Now, go, blessed and loved. The world needs you just as you are. Be there for it, your brothers and sisters, and what you have as your lot. Peace be on your soul, mind, and spirit.
.
I didn't set an alarm, I didn't get up when I could have, I slept until I woke naturally. It was wonderful. I do have to change the kitty litter and take the trash and recycling out, I would like to do dishes and some laundry, and I probably will do those last, but at a leisurely pace. Oh, and I want to look over those tax forms and have those ready to send Monday. I did call my mother, and put forth my proposal regarding her involvement with me clearing my record so as to obtain a concealed weapons permit. She is on-board, and a little unhappy with the V.A. herself. She has done her own research and come to realize just what a piss poor job the V.A. has done for me and doesn't like that they still, when they see they have made a mistake, won't back off on this. She will also be getting me contact information for our sheriff. He is the same guy that processed my claim for a permit to buy handguns (same background check), and for four years. I have two other personal references lined up as well. Once this is cleared, if it gets done (Utah is rather statist and the feds are worse), I won't be buying guns in a hurry. One every six months to a year, no rush then. The 9mm first, though, I think.
I tried something new yesterday. I kept the heat higher most of the day, save when I was gone, as I never did warm up. Then I didn't turn the heat down or close my door last night. Closing my door effectively turns off most heat to my room. I even slept with long johns (bottoms), a t-shirt and layering shirt, and socks on. Then I added three blankets. Way more than I can normally stand! I think, when I get cold like that/this, my heart is having problems. Either that or my body isn't handling the low flow well, again. That is what is causing me to be tired. I would also guess, just a guess at this time, that in the summer I become much more susceptible to heat when I go through this. I am figuring things out, no thanks to the medical community. Tinkering with my medicines, like a mad doctor, has been the only way to tell. I just haven't been on the right doses of the right medicines, to date, until now, to do that. At least there is that. I also found a 19:00 Mass locally. I may go there from time to time, if I miss at the main Church. Not today, I don't think, probably.
What an absolutely amazing world I am living in now though. If the medicines don't fix my heart, if they can at least maintain it, I will do just fine for a long time I think. And when I do, eventually, check out? It will be fast, and a little harsh, if I am awake. Not bad. But too, as I start to work out, perhaps that will help. On these medicines, unlike Ritalin, I won't always be able to work out. But that is fine, as long as I do what I can. I will permanently live in a hit and miss world. I think that the hits will be much more common and the misses will be less devastating and shorter term. Now that I know what I am working with, I can get a grip on it. For a nearly dead man, I am a wonder. The superman of the lame, lazy, and crazy! :)
Now, go, blessed and loved. The world needs you just as you are. Be there for it, your brothers and sisters, and what you have as your lot. Peace be on your soul, mind, and spirit.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Moving slowly.
.
.
It was brutal getting going today. Even by afternoon my blood simply hadn't warmed. And yet it came time to get ready and go. I flinched, I did at that. I did prepare for Church, building in enough time (I hoped) to get to town and run a few copies and pick up some tobacco. I ran off copies of what I think the IRS needs from my home purchase booklet. I think I have everything. I wish there was a number I could call because the sellers signature is not on the form they want. I am sending the initial purchase agreement, which does have his signature and does date when the house was agreed to be purchased. I will sign the HUD-1 page, which otherwise doesn't have my signature, something they 'strongly advised', regardless of whether a place was on the page for that or not. I think I will have this ready to send Monday.
On my way home I decided to stop and eat at a local, homemade, pizza place. This is where I had hoped to buy several gift certificates. I tried an old gift card, but I think it has been in my wallet too long. I had to buy one out of my account and pay for my dinner too. That means I still have another one or two of those to buy. The one I bought is for the bishop of ward one, locally, and his family. They have helped me twice with my yard, and only received a verbal thank you or two. This isn't much more, but at least it is a return of some calories, and some effort on my end. Their efforts were a blessing. I stopped at where I think they live but no one seemed to be home. Tomorrow is not the day to stop, being their church day, so I will get out again Monday.
How is that, kiddies? Church, business, social, and personal, plus a meal thrown in for good measure, on a day off, a day I could not get going, a day I did not want to get going. I'll take what is behind door number 3, Bob. And be grateful. If I can, I might go to Church again tomorrow. I would like, as I said, to go three times a week. With Saturday and Sunday taking up two slots, then I have much more leeway in choosing when else to go. If business takes me into town more often, and time is good for it or open to my adjustments, I will make it to Mass more often.
How long this wave of 'can do' will last is anyone's guess. But while I can, even through exhaustion again, I will.
.
It was brutal getting going today. Even by afternoon my blood simply hadn't warmed. And yet it came time to get ready and go. I flinched, I did at that. I did prepare for Church, building in enough time (I hoped) to get to town and run a few copies and pick up some tobacco. I ran off copies of what I think the IRS needs from my home purchase booklet. I think I have everything. I wish there was a number I could call because the sellers signature is not on the form they want. I am sending the initial purchase agreement, which does have his signature and does date when the house was agreed to be purchased. I will sign the HUD-1 page, which otherwise doesn't have my signature, something they 'strongly advised', regardless of whether a place was on the page for that or not. I think I will have this ready to send Monday.
On my way home I decided to stop and eat at a local, homemade, pizza place. This is where I had hoped to buy several gift certificates. I tried an old gift card, but I think it has been in my wallet too long. I had to buy one out of my account and pay for my dinner too. That means I still have another one or two of those to buy. The one I bought is for the bishop of ward one, locally, and his family. They have helped me twice with my yard, and only received a verbal thank you or two. This isn't much more, but at least it is a return of some calories, and some effort on my end. Their efforts were a blessing. I stopped at where I think they live but no one seemed to be home. Tomorrow is not the day to stop, being their church day, so I will get out again Monday.
How is that, kiddies? Church, business, social, and personal, plus a meal thrown in for good measure, on a day off, a day I could not get going, a day I did not want to get going. I'll take what is behind door number 3, Bob. And be grateful. If I can, I might go to Church again tomorrow. I would like, as I said, to go three times a week. With Saturday and Sunday taking up two slots, then I have much more leeway in choosing when else to go. If business takes me into town more often, and time is good for it or open to my adjustments, I will make it to Mass more often.
How long this wave of 'can do' will last is anyone's guess. But while I can, even through exhaustion again, I will.
A rough morning.
.
.
Just staying awake has been a chore. I am just now warming up in spite of the furnace on blast, being pseudo dressed, and having a throw wrapped around me as if I were... wait, I am Indian. Two brands. Anyway, as if I was raised that way. I am dying of thirst but swigging fluids down isn't helping. Oh, nice! The sun just came out. With the snow, the brightness level went from a barely visible overcast day to extra super bright. That could help.
I will be looking over the paperwork, instructions, and my home purchase packet to see what I need, what I have, and begin formulating a plan from there. Oh, I best check what time Mass is, though I am pretty sure it is at 17:00. I want to be there by 16:30, which means I need to leave here by at least a quarter after. If the time is right. I'll be putting that into my phone calendar when I check it, making it weekly, and setting an alarm for six and two hours before time to leave for Mass. If I set my alarm for when Mass starts I will be late. I learned that with the V.A. appointments, while I was figuring those out.
It is coming together. It has taken several years, but in those years I have found a home, figured out my health issues and begun tending it the best that I may, and done numerous moves to finally get in. And I am settled. I have been slowly improving. First, merely getting out on a regular basis with my new friend (seems longer than two years!), then slowly becoming stronger and more functional (of course in stops and starts), and slowly honing everything down to one fantastic week (and a fantastic early summer if you remember rightly). Stops and starts will probably be as good as it gets. When the light turns green, you know darn well my foot will be on that accelerator. I am sure having to struggle, often, even when I do well.
I haven't missed a medical appointment, without reason, in some significant period of time. I have usually called, or tried to call, to rearrange ahead of time. I am hoping to get Mass that way. Though I don't think I can afford to go five times a week. Simply put the gas would bankrupt me. It isn't that far, but it isn't that close. On top of normal driving, I would be spending triple on gas than what I am currently spending. I can do double, so maybe two to three Masses a week. Oh, and I best figure out how to get money going into the Church. I will probably automate that. While I do plan, and believe now that I can, be there regularly. I can't swear I would always remember my pledge, to fill out a check or have cash, and all that. No, I best automate this. I am quite sure God understands.
Well, on to a bit of paperwork. Hmm, does anyone have any wake up solution sets? Sprints do it? A cold shower? Beating one's head against the wall, with proper equipment of course)? These last two or three days have been murder in the mornings. Oh, I best finish my routines! I had been too cold until, well, I am still a bit chill. I think I am good enough to get going. Good luck, stay warm, be well.
.
Just staying awake has been a chore. I am just now warming up in spite of the furnace on blast, being pseudo dressed, and having a throw wrapped around me as if I were... wait, I am Indian. Two brands. Anyway, as if I was raised that way. I am dying of thirst but swigging fluids down isn't helping. Oh, nice! The sun just came out. With the snow, the brightness level went from a barely visible overcast day to extra super bright. That could help.
I will be looking over the paperwork, instructions, and my home purchase packet to see what I need, what I have, and begin formulating a plan from there. Oh, I best check what time Mass is, though I am pretty sure it is at 17:00. I want to be there by 16:30, which means I need to leave here by at least a quarter after. If the time is right. I'll be putting that into my phone calendar when I check it, making it weekly, and setting an alarm for six and two hours before time to leave for Mass. If I set my alarm for when Mass starts I will be late. I learned that with the V.A. appointments, while I was figuring those out.
It is coming together. It has taken several years, but in those years I have found a home, figured out my health issues and begun tending it the best that I may, and done numerous moves to finally get in. And I am settled. I have been slowly improving. First, merely getting out on a regular basis with my new friend (seems longer than two years!), then slowly becoming stronger and more functional (of course in stops and starts), and slowly honing everything down to one fantastic week (and a fantastic early summer if you remember rightly). Stops and starts will probably be as good as it gets. When the light turns green, you know darn well my foot will be on that accelerator. I am sure having to struggle, often, even when I do well.
I haven't missed a medical appointment, without reason, in some significant period of time. I have usually called, or tried to call, to rearrange ahead of time. I am hoping to get Mass that way. Though I don't think I can afford to go five times a week. Simply put the gas would bankrupt me. It isn't that far, but it isn't that close. On top of normal driving, I would be spending triple on gas than what I am currently spending. I can do double, so maybe two to three Masses a week. Oh, and I best figure out how to get money going into the Church. I will probably automate that. While I do plan, and believe now that I can, be there regularly. I can't swear I would always remember my pledge, to fill out a check or have cash, and all that. No, I best automate this. I am quite sure God understands.
Well, on to a bit of paperwork. Hmm, does anyone have any wake up solution sets? Sprints do it? A cold shower? Beating one's head against the wall, with proper equipment of course)? These last two or three days have been murder in the mornings. Oh, I best finish my routines! I had been too cold until, well, I am still a bit chill. I think I am good enough to get going. Good luck, stay warm, be well.
Overreach.
.
.
A 5:30 wakeup was pushing things. By 7:30 I was rough. So I laid down for a bit, setting the alarm for 9:00. My mother called at 8:30. I dreamed a goodly bit in that hour but it all evaporated like smoke. She just wished to tell me about her life and news, gave me her new address, and thanked me for the card. She bowled me over so that I was doing good to get in a "That's good", "Great!", or such. Then, bam, gone. Fair enough. I love those short, sweet, to the point, goodbye, phone calls. Actually, I ought to take notes. Then again, I think that is often how mine go. Yeah, probably, if sometimes I get 'caught'.
It has snowed. And it stuck. Not to the roads or sidewalks, this time. But that will happen sooner or later now. With crops in, plowing and field prep seemingly done, there is no reason in the world for it not to snow now. I get that first winter wonderland look. Oh, that will pass as the winter wears on. But for a day I get to feel like a kid on a white Christmas. Sassy wanted out, so I let her go. It is her first taste of snow, she wouldn't go and I didn't make her go last winter. She was still far too young. I don't think that was quite her cup of tea. When she went out, it was like, "Hey! New stuff!" When she came in it was more like, "So are you going to, you know, get rid of that stuff? New was nice but now it's not". Cats are funny, and expressive, sometimes. Who knows what they really think but it is fun to try to piece it together.
I just saw this, too, and wanted to hand it out. It's giving me something to gnaw on. I think I am a winner, I just didn't realize I had nearly literally no leg to stand on while the world was demanding that I jump through hoops. So, are you a winner? Hat tip to Dr. Doug Ross. Ugh, I'll be thanking any sort after thanking a doctor now! :p
Well, on to whatever today will be. Later.
.
A 5:30 wakeup was pushing things. By 7:30 I was rough. So I laid down for a bit, setting the alarm for 9:00. My mother called at 8:30. I dreamed a goodly bit in that hour but it all evaporated like smoke. She just wished to tell me about her life and news, gave me her new address, and thanked me for the card. She bowled me over so that I was doing good to get in a "That's good", "Great!", or such. Then, bam, gone. Fair enough. I love those short, sweet, to the point, goodbye, phone calls. Actually, I ought to take notes. Then again, I think that is often how mine go. Yeah, probably, if sometimes I get 'caught'.
It has snowed. And it stuck. Not to the roads or sidewalks, this time. But that will happen sooner or later now. With crops in, plowing and field prep seemingly done, there is no reason in the world for it not to snow now. I get that first winter wonderland look. Oh, that will pass as the winter wears on. But for a day I get to feel like a kid on a white Christmas. Sassy wanted out, so I let her go. It is her first taste of snow, she wouldn't go and I didn't make her go last winter. She was still far too young. I don't think that was quite her cup of tea. When she went out, it was like, "Hey! New stuff!" When she came in it was more like, "So are you going to, you know, get rid of that stuff? New was nice but now it's not". Cats are funny, and expressive, sometimes. Who knows what they really think but it is fun to try to piece it together.
I just saw this, too, and wanted to hand it out. It's giving me something to gnaw on. I think I am a winner, I just didn't realize I had nearly literally no leg to stand on while the world was demanding that I jump through hoops. So, are you a winner? Hat tip to Dr. Doug Ross. Ugh, I'll be thanking any sort after thanking a doctor now! :p
Well, on to whatever today will be. Later.
Up early, really early.
.
.
My phone was having some sort of conniption fit. I unplugged it and was about to roll over. I knew it would be cold out of the covers. It's a Saturday so I don't have a whole lot to do. I have no good reason to get up, at least at 5:25. I went to sleep late so didn't I deserve to sleep a little more, not getting up? But in a little way I did want to be up. I want to keep to a schedule, come rain or shine, and that has been slipping just a bit. It was nice, for a change, to be up before the alarm. I made sure to turn those things off so they don't bug me shortly.
It is too cold to just jump into my routine. I have, of course, brushed my teeth and gargled. I try to wait an half hour after that to consume anything. Something about letting the gunk work. I have been using the Crest whitening toothpaste mouth wash combo. And while my teeth aren't pearly white, they have been neglected for most of my life, the last three years rarely being brushed or touched at all, and I still chew tobacco. They aren't ever going to be pearly white again. Much better, but just comparatively. Anyway, I have a bit to go on that, then potassium and medicines. Oh, I suppose, I will weigh in. I am beginning to hate that damn scale. "It lies! Damned lies!", I hiss! I am almost starting to believe women! At least, on their side, according to some pop-scholars, fat bottomed girls make the world go round. Chubby men, even if it happens to be water weight (which all my extra isn't), just stink up elevators. No offense to elevators.
Sam, sitting in my lap, getting a neck massage. Me, half drunk with sleep, look at her, and say, "I kneed/need your head". Then imagine ways to remove her head. Kitty guillotine, car accident involving kitty, etc, and then seeing her head detached from her body in some macabre scene, with it still animated. As I chuckled a little to loud or oddly after saying that, Sam seemed quite put out. She may not know what, but she knows some things are not favorable. A little more loving and she will be right back to purring. There are times, when she is in my lap, when I look down and... I have to think she is plotting much worse against me, should she find the occasion. The malevolence at least seems quite potent. I could be wrong, but I am usually quite happy with our size ratio differences. She might love me, but it's a real love hate relationship, if usually only on the inside (of her).
Today is all about Mass. I go because I believe in the method. I am not sure of the people. I hope not to be called on in Church but I may not have a choice in that. Perhaps the father will simply request people to introduce themselves. I will simply abstain, for now, if so. This is one of those things, on top of everything else, I have been dreading. I'm not and may not become, depending on the fellowship here, a part of the social Catholics. I wouldn't mind finding a place among those who serve, or a back up server. But I want to be more sure of attendance and then do it quietly. If I am there regularly for a month or two, I may put my name in the hat when it comes up. Perhaps, initially, as back-up for anyone who doesn't show up. Maybe finding out when they do snow removal and just being there. Unless I feel unwelcome, as I seem to feel so far.
I could get on that paperwork. I want to see which paperwork from my home purchase book they need, specifically. I think I have what they requested but I can't be sure. The IRS guy said if it isn't perfect they will reject it. I truly despise working with the government for this very reason. At least the guy at the IRS was okay to work with. But I know from many testimonials that most work with the IRS makes a combination rectal exam and dental appointment, without locals or generals, seem gentle and easy. What a world Americans have created for themselves. And they keep voting lefter. Oh, that's going to fix it. Vote Romney or Cain, that'll make it all good. They tilt on the edge and most seem to just want to shove the bus right over the cliff. Oh, it will pick up speed. That is true.
Bah. Grumpy morning. Perhaps this will reset my day so that the 8:00 alarm wakes me again, and on time. Have a good day anyway.
.
My phone was having some sort of conniption fit. I unplugged it and was about to roll over. I knew it would be cold out of the covers. It's a Saturday so I don't have a whole lot to do. I have no good reason to get up, at least at 5:25. I went to sleep late so didn't I deserve to sleep a little more, not getting up? But in a little way I did want to be up. I want to keep to a schedule, come rain or shine, and that has been slipping just a bit. It was nice, for a change, to be up before the alarm. I made sure to turn those things off so they don't bug me shortly.
It is too cold to just jump into my routine. I have, of course, brushed my teeth and gargled. I try to wait an half hour after that to consume anything. Something about letting the gunk work. I have been using the Crest whitening toothpaste mouth wash combo. And while my teeth aren't pearly white, they have been neglected for most of my life, the last three years rarely being brushed or touched at all, and I still chew tobacco. They aren't ever going to be pearly white again. Much better, but just comparatively. Anyway, I have a bit to go on that, then potassium and medicines. Oh, I suppose, I will weigh in. I am beginning to hate that damn scale. "It lies! Damned lies!", I hiss! I am almost starting to believe women! At least, on their side, according to some pop-scholars, fat bottomed girls make the world go round. Chubby men, even if it happens to be water weight (which all my extra isn't), just stink up elevators. No offense to elevators.
Sam, sitting in my lap, getting a neck massage. Me, half drunk with sleep, look at her, and say, "I kneed/need your head". Then imagine ways to remove her head. Kitty guillotine, car accident involving kitty, etc, and then seeing her head detached from her body in some macabre scene, with it still animated. As I chuckled a little to loud or oddly after saying that, Sam seemed quite put out. She may not know what, but she knows some things are not favorable. A little more loving and she will be right back to purring. There are times, when she is in my lap, when I look down and... I have to think she is plotting much worse against me, should she find the occasion. The malevolence at least seems quite potent. I could be wrong, but I am usually quite happy with our size ratio differences. She might love me, but it's a real love hate relationship, if usually only on the inside (of her).
Today is all about Mass. I go because I believe in the method. I am not sure of the people. I hope not to be called on in Church but I may not have a choice in that. Perhaps the father will simply request people to introduce themselves. I will simply abstain, for now, if so. This is one of those things, on top of everything else, I have been dreading. I'm not and may not become, depending on the fellowship here, a part of the social Catholics. I wouldn't mind finding a place among those who serve, or a back up server. But I want to be more sure of attendance and then do it quietly. If I am there regularly for a month or two, I may put my name in the hat when it comes up. Perhaps, initially, as back-up for anyone who doesn't show up. Maybe finding out when they do snow removal and just being there. Unless I feel unwelcome, as I seem to feel so far.
I could get on that paperwork. I want to see which paperwork from my home purchase book they need, specifically. I think I have what they requested but I can't be sure. The IRS guy said if it isn't perfect they will reject it. I truly despise working with the government for this very reason. At least the guy at the IRS was okay to work with. But I know from many testimonials that most work with the IRS makes a combination rectal exam and dental appointment, without locals or generals, seem gentle and easy. What a world Americans have created for themselves. And they keep voting lefter. Oh, that's going to fix it. Vote Romney or Cain, that'll make it all good. They tilt on the edge and most seem to just want to shove the bus right over the cliff. Oh, it will pick up speed. That is true.
Bah. Grumpy morning. Perhaps this will reset my day so that the 8:00 alarm wakes me again, and on time. Have a good day anyway.
Friday, November 4, 2011
A minor update.
.
.
Women.
I enjoyed that little... thing... at the post office recently. While I enjoyed it for what it seemed to be I brushed it off. I assumed that these young ladies had read my blog, realized I was the author (more or less), and just were blushing and acting funny because of that. And it still might be. My blog, at times, can be rather forward. And I probably come across rather strongly. Perhaps I am simply seen as a chauvinist pig to many women, but some women are beginning to appreciate that in some odd way. Well, and some women don't see it that way. In any case, that is how I dealt with that.
While that may or may not be the case, while I was in town today I got hit with several more loads of that. I guess I just don't get out often enough to see how women react to me, around me. While the locals can be discounted as being blog fans, or at least readers, I have some great doubts about women in Ogden at a McDonalds having read me, or at a store, or here or there. It's almost scary. Perhaps they are just being kind to a tall old man, for all I know. But it still... spooks me a bit.
The thing is, no matter how good that first reaction, I am still left to corral that interest into something more. I have forgotten the first thing about that. But I do know I don't want to, as in the past, willy-nilly, just find a random woman. I want to know for sure she is free to... choose. Then that she is worth my efforts. I sense the Church doesn't accept me, actually. I will find no help there. I guess I will just have to build up and begin looking and snooping on my own. I don't care if she is as hot as a starlet, true as a saint, right as rain, if she... isn't the one she won't do. If these recent events have any fact in them, I can choose. If I can't choose I will skip the process.
If nothing else it does give me hope. Heck, one of them, if I had to bet my bottom teeth, was geared as a lesbian for heavens sakes! A middle aged woman. She sure let me know she appreciated the fine hunk of, to her, man-bull she saw. Wouch. A lesbian?!? The others were youngish attractive women, in their 20's. What am I doing right/wrong? I'm not even going to try and tinker with it though. It seems to work just fine. I just had to get this out.
Oh, I may be taking my blog private. If what I had thought was true about the interwebz isn't, there is no real reason to share. We will see.
.
Women.
I enjoyed that little... thing... at the post office recently. While I enjoyed it for what it seemed to be I brushed it off. I assumed that these young ladies had read my blog, realized I was the author (more or less), and just were blushing and acting funny because of that. And it still might be. My blog, at times, can be rather forward. And I probably come across rather strongly. Perhaps I am simply seen as a chauvinist pig to many women, but some women are beginning to appreciate that in some odd way. Well, and some women don't see it that way. In any case, that is how I dealt with that.
While that may or may not be the case, while I was in town today I got hit with several more loads of that. I guess I just don't get out often enough to see how women react to me, around me. While the locals can be discounted as being blog fans, or at least readers, I have some great doubts about women in Ogden at a McDonalds having read me, or at a store, or here or there. It's almost scary. Perhaps they are just being kind to a tall old man, for all I know. But it still... spooks me a bit.
The thing is, no matter how good that first reaction, I am still left to corral that interest into something more. I have forgotten the first thing about that. But I do know I don't want to, as in the past, willy-nilly, just find a random woman. I want to know for sure she is free to... choose. Then that she is worth my efforts. I sense the Church doesn't accept me, actually. I will find no help there. I guess I will just have to build up and begin looking and snooping on my own. I don't care if she is as hot as a starlet, true as a saint, right as rain, if she... isn't the one she won't do. If these recent events have any fact in them, I can choose. If I can't choose I will skip the process.
If nothing else it does give me hope. Heck, one of them, if I had to bet my bottom teeth, was geared as a lesbian for heavens sakes! A middle aged woman. She sure let me know she appreciated the fine hunk of, to her, man-bull she saw. Wouch. A lesbian?!? The others were youngish attractive women, in their 20's. What am I doing right/wrong? I'm not even going to try and tinker with it though. It seems to work just fine. I just had to get this out.
Oh, I may be taking my blog private. If what I had thought was true about the interwebz isn't, there is no real reason to share. We will see.
Ackh! It's back!
.
.
That pain in my back, that is. Oh, no worries really. I hope to work it out. Suffering from it just means I am headed in the right direction. Or some such seeming rot.
Oh, what have I been doing? I wasn't sure what to do today. I made it to Mass! A bit late but I wasn't going to let that get in the way. I tried to be quiet on my entry by one of the doors which seemed to be closing slowly so I let it close on it's own then banged shut. *shudders* *blush* The Eucharist today was quite sweet on the tongue and to the body and soul. I needed that and feel rewarded and filled. Such a simple thing but I just had to try and do it correctly.
After Mass I picked up my dry cleaning then went next door and bought two types of grout and tile cleaners, a few extra sponges, and some ammonia. My next effort on the shower should be more successful. I then decided to visit my friend. I pulled in, parked, and was about to head in when I here this "Hey!", "Doom!" (Okay, he calls me my other name, work with me.) He was out on a bridge over a decent little river. He wanted to, and then did, show me the trout in there. At first I simply couldn't see them. Then, after a little practice, I couldn't 'not' see them. We were surrounded.
We then discussed what could be done today. We could go shooting, and just goof. We could go shopping then stop for a bit to eat. Oh, how about a trip to Ogden he asked? Well, I had planned on going Monday. I had to stop and think about this. Was there any reason I couldn't go? Was the IRS office open? Well, it was early enough and I had no other real plans. So off we went. He picked up some powder and bullets for reloading, I bought some bullets, then I went to the IRS offices. Whoa, such a police state feel. While I don't believe people should work under threat, I also believe that public employees SHOULD have to fear the people they "work for". I don't like that, not at all. The more the state has nothing to fear the more it will take. Oh well. I got there right at 15:52 and, with one other person waiting, I didn't get seen until... 16:40 or later. There was only one guy in the office. He was about to shut down, after the last 'client' left, so I spoke over the walls (walled off, with gates, like some Wizard of Oz thing). He said he might be able to help me, depending on what I needed. I gave him a brief reply and he thought there was enough time. So, I finally have all the paperwork I need, and instructions. This might end up being a project for this weekend.
A meal on the way back, nothing fancy. Then my friend wanted some microwave bacon. In the wheelchair he is limited in what he can do. Plus, this bacon seems to be very good in spite of the microwave cooking. It costs a fortune for what you get, I suppose the price paid for ease. But he didn't want to go in. I volunteered to make the run, he could have a smoke while I shopped. There was no reason he couldn't have his bacon and not shop for it too! Done, done, and done. So much, so well, so easily. And another weekday has been completed successfully.
Tomorrow I will begin looking over the paperwork for the credit. Then I will go to Mass. I believe it is at 17:00. I will look, this time, online. I don't want to be a second late. Actually, I would like to be about an half hour early. That gives me time to find a nice place, settle in, do some warm-up prayers, and get squared with God personally before we all do it communally. Other than that, I have nothing serious on the agenda. I best do the few dishes I have tonight, maybe a load of laundry if I can get one together.
What a fantastic week. Next week? I don't know. With the interior of my home knocked out I may try and get up to painting a couple of areas, get that tinder wood sorted, and figure out my finances and get going on the long term foods if advisable. I would also like to begin pushing some straight weights. As I said, I will probably begin with just the bars. One set of each exercise I want to do, just to try and bring back form and muscle memory. You would be surprised how long muscle memory remains. That isn't form, necessarily, which too will have to be reformed.
I am pleased. I might be killing myself to get to function, but if that is the price? Then again, I honestly don't have options. If I take what they want, I will simply fall off the medicine and wake to a disaster of a home in a month or less, and have to try to crawl out from under all that, all over again. And yet I can't quit the medicines, edema will creep back swiftly. It does neither them nor me any good to overdose beyond my capacity to care for myself without having someone to pick up the load. In truth, this is my only real option. One half a dose more and I can't even think, so doing is way out. And, yes, I applied for assistance and was refused. Police state stuff, if you don't do what they demand, they won't do anything for you. Beware "Obamacare" with your life!
I also got three calls today. The first, from my mother, thanking me for the rice machine. But more the card I had them add, in which I wrote a little thank you note. Apparently I hit a home run with the note, my mother was crying. She is helping a friend and her son, the woman is dying. And I think, all combined, the note just hit the right chords with her. Then my lady friend called, she too received her package, card, and check. Pleased as punch, she will be sending me a bit of the hot cayenne I crave. Oh, no worries, there is enough extra for a fine meal or two, plus the cayenne and postage on it. She has no one. Well, save one lowly fool. I love to hear her smile on the phone. Then I received a call from the investigator regarding my application and such. All went to messages as I didn't hear the calls. I wasn't expecting any of them, I just sent/ordered those things this week and the BCI (Bureau of Criminal Investigation) guy... well, he is a state worker. I didn't know they worked on Fridays. Anyway. All very good!
Good night.
.
That pain in my back, that is. Oh, no worries really. I hope to work it out. Suffering from it just means I am headed in the right direction. Or some such seeming rot.
Oh, what have I been doing? I wasn't sure what to do today. I made it to Mass! A bit late but I wasn't going to let that get in the way. I tried to be quiet on my entry by one of the doors which seemed to be closing slowly so I let it close on it's own then banged shut. *shudders* *blush* The Eucharist today was quite sweet on the tongue and to the body and soul. I needed that and feel rewarded and filled. Such a simple thing but I just had to try and do it correctly.
After Mass I picked up my dry cleaning then went next door and bought two types of grout and tile cleaners, a few extra sponges, and some ammonia. My next effort on the shower should be more successful. I then decided to visit my friend. I pulled in, parked, and was about to head in when I here this "Hey!", "Doom!" (Okay, he calls me my other name, work with me.) He was out on a bridge over a decent little river. He wanted to, and then did, show me the trout in there. At first I simply couldn't see them. Then, after a little practice, I couldn't 'not' see them. We were surrounded.
We then discussed what could be done today. We could go shooting, and just goof. We could go shopping then stop for a bit to eat. Oh, how about a trip to Ogden he asked? Well, I had planned on going Monday. I had to stop and think about this. Was there any reason I couldn't go? Was the IRS office open? Well, it was early enough and I had no other real plans. So off we went. He picked up some powder and bullets for reloading, I bought some bullets, then I went to the IRS offices. Whoa, such a police state feel. While I don't believe people should work under threat, I also believe that public employees SHOULD have to fear the people they "work for". I don't like that, not at all. The more the state has nothing to fear the more it will take. Oh well. I got there right at 15:52 and, with one other person waiting, I didn't get seen until... 16:40 or later. There was only one guy in the office. He was about to shut down, after the last 'client' left, so I spoke over the walls (walled off, with gates, like some Wizard of Oz thing). He said he might be able to help me, depending on what I needed. I gave him a brief reply and he thought there was enough time. So, I finally have all the paperwork I need, and instructions. This might end up being a project for this weekend.
A meal on the way back, nothing fancy. Then my friend wanted some microwave bacon. In the wheelchair he is limited in what he can do. Plus, this bacon seems to be very good in spite of the microwave cooking. It costs a fortune for what you get, I suppose the price paid for ease. But he didn't want to go in. I volunteered to make the run, he could have a smoke while I shopped. There was no reason he couldn't have his bacon and not shop for it too! Done, done, and done. So much, so well, so easily. And another weekday has been completed successfully.
Tomorrow I will begin looking over the paperwork for the credit. Then I will go to Mass. I believe it is at 17:00. I will look, this time, online. I don't want to be a second late. Actually, I would like to be about an half hour early. That gives me time to find a nice place, settle in, do some warm-up prayers, and get squared with God personally before we all do it communally. Other than that, I have nothing serious on the agenda. I best do the few dishes I have tonight, maybe a load of laundry if I can get one together.
What a fantastic week. Next week? I don't know. With the interior of my home knocked out I may try and get up to painting a couple of areas, get that tinder wood sorted, and figure out my finances and get going on the long term foods if advisable. I would also like to begin pushing some straight weights. As I said, I will probably begin with just the bars. One set of each exercise I want to do, just to try and bring back form and muscle memory. You would be surprised how long muscle memory remains. That isn't form, necessarily, which too will have to be reformed.
I am pleased. I might be killing myself to get to function, but if that is the price? Then again, I honestly don't have options. If I take what they want, I will simply fall off the medicine and wake to a disaster of a home in a month or less, and have to try to crawl out from under all that, all over again. And yet I can't quit the medicines, edema will creep back swiftly. It does neither them nor me any good to overdose beyond my capacity to care for myself without having someone to pick up the load. In truth, this is my only real option. One half a dose more and I can't even think, so doing is way out. And, yes, I applied for assistance and was refused. Police state stuff, if you don't do what they demand, they won't do anything for you. Beware "Obamacare" with your life!
I also got three calls today. The first, from my mother, thanking me for the rice machine. But more the card I had them add, in which I wrote a little thank you note. Apparently I hit a home run with the note, my mother was crying. She is helping a friend and her son, the woman is dying. And I think, all combined, the note just hit the right chords with her. Then my lady friend called, she too received her package, card, and check. Pleased as punch, she will be sending me a bit of the hot cayenne I crave. Oh, no worries, there is enough extra for a fine meal or two, plus the cayenne and postage on it. She has no one. Well, save one lowly fool. I love to hear her smile on the phone. Then I received a call from the investigator regarding my application and such. All went to messages as I didn't hear the calls. I wasn't expecting any of them, I just sent/ordered those things this week and the BCI (Bureau of Criminal Investigation) guy... well, he is a state worker. I didn't know they worked on Fridays. Anyway. All very good!
Good night.
Another day and it looks good.
.
.
The alarm woke me two different times. I heard it, and thought I was awake, at 8:45. I don't remember the intervening moments, but when I actually got up and turned of the alarm it was 9:15. It is so odd when that happens, if I am used to it by this time. It's not a tough morning, I feel good and all. It is a groggy morning. Not much has been done. My routine, at least. And breakfast. And the rugs will go down right after this. Then it is time to prepare for Mass. This will be my first Mass in over two years. Hopefully it is not a huge group, though too one always hopes there are others. Balance. I am not used to crowds.
After Church I will go on to do some shopping. I'll have to look over the list I made yesterday. After shopping, just a bit more around the home, including dishes which are soaking and perhaps a load or two of laundry. Ugh but it is difficult to get going this morning. If I can keep going, the weekend is R&R time. Next week is busy again, I have tons of things to do. I am amazed at what I am getting done but there is much left to do. The boxes upstairs, cleaning nooks and crannies, business and social things, a few remaining thank you cards to be presented, and a few other things. Oh, and I really should get those water containers cleaned and filled. And when I get a grip on where my finances are, after I look over the bills and make sure everything has been paid, I can begin considering food for storage.
Yes, yes, I am on it. It is amazing what you can do. It is also surprising how long things really do take, as has been discussed before. But if I don't get stuck on one thing, if when I hit a roadblock and until I can find a way around it I can find other chores, tasks, business, or social things, I get on to so much more. I have been doing that.
While a change in medicine helped, the song, along with what Wonder Woman wrote and did, Jean hints at, and Heidi did and wrote about regarding her life, I am moving forward. I think the song just brought it all together and somehow made it all make sense. Oh, I should toss a big thanks to my mother in there. I watched her beat my home into shape with hard work and diligence. Oh yes, what I see in women who do is... amazing. I will never have that down. But... I can have my own little piece of it. Thank you, ladies!
Well, time to get up, get out. Oh, and the kink in my back is gone. I'll have to do some more work to get it back. *grins* Good day.
.
The alarm woke me two different times. I heard it, and thought I was awake, at 8:45. I don't remember the intervening moments, but when I actually got up and turned of the alarm it was 9:15. It is so odd when that happens, if I am used to it by this time. It's not a tough morning, I feel good and all. It is a groggy morning. Not much has been done. My routine, at least. And breakfast. And the rugs will go down right after this. Then it is time to prepare for Mass. This will be my first Mass in over two years. Hopefully it is not a huge group, though too one always hopes there are others. Balance. I am not used to crowds.
After Church I will go on to do some shopping. I'll have to look over the list I made yesterday. After shopping, just a bit more around the home, including dishes which are soaking and perhaps a load or two of laundry. Ugh but it is difficult to get going this morning. If I can keep going, the weekend is R&R time. Next week is busy again, I have tons of things to do. I am amazed at what I am getting done but there is much left to do. The boxes upstairs, cleaning nooks and crannies, business and social things, a few remaining thank you cards to be presented, and a few other things. Oh, and I really should get those water containers cleaned and filled. And when I get a grip on where my finances are, after I look over the bills and make sure everything has been paid, I can begin considering food for storage.
Yes, yes, I am on it. It is amazing what you can do. It is also surprising how long things really do take, as has been discussed before. But if I don't get stuck on one thing, if when I hit a roadblock and until I can find a way around it I can find other chores, tasks, business, or social things, I get on to so much more. I have been doing that.
While a change in medicine helped, the song, along with what Wonder Woman wrote and did, Jean hints at, and Heidi did and wrote about regarding her life, I am moving forward. I think the song just brought it all together and somehow made it all make sense. Oh, I should toss a big thanks to my mother in there. I watched her beat my home into shape with hard work and diligence. Oh yes, what I see in women who do is... amazing. I will never have that down. But... I can have my own little piece of it. Thank you, ladies!
Well, time to get up, get out. Oh, and the kink in my back is gone. I'll have to do some more work to get it back. *grins* Good day.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
A permanent kink in my back?
.
.
I don't know for sure, yet! Never mind. I really didn't want to sweep and mop. Why? I don't know why. Because, I suppose. And I kept stalling. Finally, though, I got to it. Because of the layout, the extra bathroom and the laundry room have to be done last, but my bathroom and the kitchen has been mopped. Or at least, the way I did it. When what has been mopped is dry I will get those last two spots. I don't think the last bathroom will be much to clean, so it might get done tonight, after mopping. I found another rug Sam had stained, so I put both rugs in the wash. They should be done, so after things dry and before I wet the remaining floors, I will put the rugs in the drier. But that kink keeps coming back. Oh well. It could be worse.
Oh, I know. This must be boring to read. But I tell you it is a minor miracle. I am taking as much medication as I can which still allows me to function, but just barely. And, like the earlier part of this summer, I am back at it. It isn't quite as good as it was then, but that is fine. I have a lot more control this time. I have even been able to maintain my celibacy. That was tested, but after learning control and watching as this change came to be I was able to do just the right things at the right times. I have completely cleaned my house, done my dishes, gotten caught up on laundry. I am showering regularly, going out more often, shopping rightly, and taking care of myself. I have caught up on old promises, old tasks, and some recent things. Further, now that I am caught up, I am going to make every effort to stay on top of things. It's a lot easier to do things as I go. I simply haven't had that option until possibly now.
The question is, once I am caught up, and staying on top of things, what next? That will certainly not fill my time. Especially as, while I learn to work again, I become exceedingly more efficient. I can't really afford to do much. I suppose, if I got the chronograph, I could do more shooting practice, often on my own. That is, actually, a minor work out... shooting that is. I can try to get out for a walk or hike, even in the winter so long as it isn't icy. I don't know though, I need some kind of real hobby. I am trying to get away from computer games, they bring no real profit to either my skill set, intellect, or... anything. What to do??? I do know I would like to start adding stretches to my daily routines. That's free. But it doesn't take much time. I feel the need to limber up, I'm tired of being cramped in my own body. I don't know, I will think about it.
After the dust settles on bills and such, I want to reconsider my options. I had meant to stock up on long term foods, and maybe some short term supplies. When I see what kind of money I have, I may go gangbusters into that. While a cwp is still in the works, as I see things, if I get it back this time I won't have to worry about rushing purchases. I won't be worried. Either that or I simply won't get it back, at which time I will no longer need to worry about saving for those guns. I am pretty sure I have my last sheriff, my mother, and a couple of friends who will vouch for me. My mother is, I think, the most important. Having had her husband kill himself, she heard the shot and found the body, he wasn't dead right away. She isn't about to lose me that way, whether I live close or am all the way out here. I will have her write about her ordeal, her earlier worries with me, and that she now feels secure with me having firearms. She wouldn't do that if she didn't trust me implicitly. She has already done that once, which allowed me to get my permit to buy handguns. Then again I have a .45 and .22 pistol, an AK-47, a shotgun, and two .22 rifles. If I was up to no good I don't really need more. I do need a hunting rifle and I would like a better main battle rifle. And, if I am going to conceal, it would be good to have more options that way. Yes, yes, just humor me.
Time to check the floors. Tomorrow I will be finishing anything left from today, picking up on the cwp follow-up, trying to call my friend to see if Monday would be good for a trip to Ogden, and maybe into town to see him, maybe go shooting, and to find tile and grout cleaner while picking up my dry cleaning. It all ties together, work creates work. But too I can now see that it really all can get done! Further, as I buy the things needed, I don't need to buy them next time. Why it is so easy right now I can't tell you. Hmm, actually, it isn't easy. And I really don't want to do some of it some of the time. So, why can I do it now? Just the right medicines? I have to suspect that is exactly it. I do wonder, if they had checked and found the heart condition twenty years ago what my life would be like now. Regrets.
Good night.
.
I don't know for sure, yet! Never mind. I really didn't want to sweep and mop. Why? I don't know why. Because, I suppose. And I kept stalling. Finally, though, I got to it. Because of the layout, the extra bathroom and the laundry room have to be done last, but my bathroom and the kitchen has been mopped. Or at least, the way I did it. When what has been mopped is dry I will get those last two spots. I don't think the last bathroom will be much to clean, so it might get done tonight, after mopping. I found another rug Sam had stained, so I put both rugs in the wash. They should be done, so after things dry and before I wet the remaining floors, I will put the rugs in the drier. But that kink keeps coming back. Oh well. It could be worse.
Oh, I know. This must be boring to read. But I tell you it is a minor miracle. I am taking as much medication as I can which still allows me to function, but just barely. And, like the earlier part of this summer, I am back at it. It isn't quite as good as it was then, but that is fine. I have a lot more control this time. I have even been able to maintain my celibacy. That was tested, but after learning control and watching as this change came to be I was able to do just the right things at the right times. I have completely cleaned my house, done my dishes, gotten caught up on laundry. I am showering regularly, going out more often, shopping rightly, and taking care of myself. I have caught up on old promises, old tasks, and some recent things. Further, now that I am caught up, I am going to make every effort to stay on top of things. It's a lot easier to do things as I go. I simply haven't had that option until possibly now.
The question is, once I am caught up, and staying on top of things, what next? That will certainly not fill my time. Especially as, while I learn to work again, I become exceedingly more efficient. I can't really afford to do much. I suppose, if I got the chronograph, I could do more shooting practice, often on my own. That is, actually, a minor work out... shooting that is. I can try to get out for a walk or hike, even in the winter so long as it isn't icy. I don't know though, I need some kind of real hobby. I am trying to get away from computer games, they bring no real profit to either my skill set, intellect, or... anything. What to do??? I do know I would like to start adding stretches to my daily routines. That's free. But it doesn't take much time. I feel the need to limber up, I'm tired of being cramped in my own body. I don't know, I will think about it.
After the dust settles on bills and such, I want to reconsider my options. I had meant to stock up on long term foods, and maybe some short term supplies. When I see what kind of money I have, I may go gangbusters into that. While a cwp is still in the works, as I see things, if I get it back this time I won't have to worry about rushing purchases. I won't be worried. Either that or I simply won't get it back, at which time I will no longer need to worry about saving for those guns. I am pretty sure I have my last sheriff, my mother, and a couple of friends who will vouch for me. My mother is, I think, the most important. Having had her husband kill himself, she heard the shot and found the body, he wasn't dead right away. She isn't about to lose me that way, whether I live close or am all the way out here. I will have her write about her ordeal, her earlier worries with me, and that she now feels secure with me having firearms. She wouldn't do that if she didn't trust me implicitly. She has already done that once, which allowed me to get my permit to buy handguns. Then again I have a .45 and .22 pistol, an AK-47, a shotgun, and two .22 rifles. If I was up to no good I don't really need more. I do need a hunting rifle and I would like a better main battle rifle. And, if I am going to conceal, it would be good to have more options that way. Yes, yes, just humor me.
Time to check the floors. Tomorrow I will be finishing anything left from today, picking up on the cwp follow-up, trying to call my friend to see if Monday would be good for a trip to Ogden, and maybe into town to see him, maybe go shooting, and to find tile and grout cleaner while picking up my dry cleaning. It all ties together, work creates work. But too I can now see that it really all can get done! Further, as I buy the things needed, I don't need to buy them next time. Why it is so easy right now I can't tell you. Hmm, actually, it isn't easy. And I really don't want to do some of it some of the time. So, why can I do it now? Just the right medicines? I have to suspect that is exactly it. I do wonder, if they had checked and found the heart condition twenty years ago what my life would be like now. Regrets.
Good night.
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