.
.
Nothing doing so far. Mostly. I did start bacon going in the oven. As well, I will make burger sausage crumble in a bit. Then , perhaps, a cheese crust pizza. I was looking at recipes for meatloaf but found this one. I may yet do a meatloaf, but I'd like something quicker, simpler, and more sure to start.
Blood sugar, initially, only dropped three points to 166 as my second, still fasting, read. So a full dose of insulin went in with two ounces of pecans and hazel nuts combined, nearly that of green olives, and a fatted tea. My blood sugar after that was 116, so no insulin I decided. In part because I held off my next meal. My weekly average is down to 159, two week average is at 173, and monthly is at 174 if I don't think there is more than three weeks on this unit yet?
After a bite, I am hoping to get back to work. No pain, just... lackluster. If I can start I might be able to hit it hard? I called my mom, went right to message. I think she is ticked. I didn't think she read here anymore. Obviously, if so, she doesn't understand. Oh, she thinks she does. Not so much. - She called back, all good.
Oh, the pizza? I don't have fresh onion or green peppers. Wouldn't use bell peppers no matter. I think I have dehydrated mushrooms I could restore. I have dried onion bits. Tomatoes, canned, mozzarella cheese for the base, beef crumble and bacon for the meat, and? Maybe anchovy paste mixed in with the base. You would not believe how invisibly anchovy paste makes dishes incredibly more meaty tasting, and mouth-wateringly savory. Plus it is exceptionally good for you. So very people are even willing to try ingredients they wouldn't, generally, wish to eat alone. If I made enough pizza to warrant, I would crack open a can of those and put them on top, if lightly. Good in mixed green salads too. As is, I just have the cans as rare treats. I thought I had green olives... if so, I will slice a few for toppings as well.
Saturday, May 25, 2019
A good wake.
.
.
I was waking into a more minor migraine. I traced it, consciously as I woke. Throbbing from the front high left center, an eighth of the orb up from my left temple, flowing back to my spine, widening as a river of pain from a bullet hole, mild flashes of light, mild nausea, light and sound sensitivity. I have certainly had worse, but this wasn't going to be pleasant. It was 1 :38 when I checked.
I tried to sleep a bit longer. I remembered a woman I knew, Liz. I remembered nuzzling her shoulder blade after sex. I was called away, never to return. I had learned I couldn't take them with me, or hold on. I would never be back and they wouldn't wait even if I returned months later. No matter what the bible says, love, especially young love, is not patient. I remembered her scent. She rarely wore perfume, or even deodorant, and really didn't need it. Not quite a dream, more a near sleep recall. I don't remember where though. I think she was pregnant. I'd seen that look before. She was going to have the baby, and not tell me. Why. She had to know I knew. Even then I could see with my eyes closed... some things. Her baby isn't one I counted, since I never received active confirmation of live birth.
Couldn't fall back to sleep. So woke at 2:08. A nine hour sleep? Maybe eight, if that guess has slide in it. The headache, oddly, was mostly gone. Fasting blood sugar was 169, a thirty point drop from the fasting blood sugar of yesterday. Strangely I feel hungry this morning. I went to bed feeling hunger as well. Usually, on keto, I don't feel hunger. As well as blood sugars are dropping I... and what I have been eating... I am positive I am in ketosis.
Strange to be hungry. I am not used to the sensation. More, my responses are divorced from it. While I feel the pangs, they are no longer tied to consumption. I merely intellectually know that eating would solve that. I don't mind having the pain. I will have plain, unsweetened, tea. In two hours I will test blood again, then have a fatted tea, insulin too if the read is above 130? 115? I just don't know what the titrated down cutoff point should be. Hmm, I will call Tuesday, Monday being a holiday. I may make a cheesy bacon keto meatloaf for later.
I still have the work list. I should be able to do more, maybe a lot more? I turned the heat up just a bit higher, and will take aspirin early rather than later. A shower first? Maybe. Yeah, I'll get to things today. I am looking forward to it. While far from a perfect week, it has been a rather good one. While wrestling with Death, in a gimp body, I was still able to clean and else. Luckily Death is a slim-hipped woman girl and a brother. Yeah, War isn't the only freak in Humansville. Later.
.
I was waking into a more minor migraine. I traced it, consciously as I woke. Throbbing from the front high left center, an eighth of the orb up from my left temple, flowing back to my spine, widening as a river of pain from a bullet hole, mild flashes of light, mild nausea, light and sound sensitivity. I have certainly had worse, but this wasn't going to be pleasant. It was 1 :38 when I checked.
I tried to sleep a bit longer. I remembered a woman I knew, Liz. I remembered nuzzling her shoulder blade after sex. I was called away, never to return. I had learned I couldn't take them with me, or hold on. I would never be back and they wouldn't wait even if I returned months later. No matter what the bible says, love, especially young love, is not patient. I remembered her scent. She rarely wore perfume, or even deodorant, and really didn't need it. Not quite a dream, more a near sleep recall. I don't remember where though. I think she was pregnant. I'd seen that look before. She was going to have the baby, and not tell me. Why. She had to know I knew. Even then I could see with my eyes closed... some things. Her baby isn't one I counted, since I never received active confirmation of live birth.
Couldn't fall back to sleep. So woke at 2:08. A nine hour sleep? Maybe eight, if that guess has slide in it. The headache, oddly, was mostly gone. Fasting blood sugar was 169, a thirty point drop from the fasting blood sugar of yesterday. Strangely I feel hungry this morning. I went to bed feeling hunger as well. Usually, on keto, I don't feel hunger. As well as blood sugars are dropping I... and what I have been eating... I am positive I am in ketosis.
Strange to be hungry. I am not used to the sensation. More, my responses are divorced from it. While I feel the pangs, they are no longer tied to consumption. I merely intellectually know that eating would solve that. I don't mind having the pain. I will have plain, unsweetened, tea. In two hours I will test blood again, then have a fatted tea, insulin too if the read is above 130? 115? I just don't know what the titrated down cutoff point should be. Hmm, I will call Tuesday, Monday being a holiday. I may make a cheesy bacon keto meatloaf for later.
I still have the work list. I should be able to do more, maybe a lot more? I turned the heat up just a bit higher, and will take aspirin early rather than later. A shower first? Maybe. Yeah, I'll get to things today. I am looking forward to it. While far from a perfect week, it has been a rather good one. While wrestling with Death, in a gimp body, I was still able to clean and else. Luckily Death is a slim-hipped woman girl and a brother. Yeah, War isn't the only freak in Humansville. Later.
Friday, May 24, 2019
Very odd.
.
.
Some work. As well, a lengthened day. Mopped around the toilet, folded and put away the towels, collected more garbage, put most of the dishes to soak, shaved, and several other small partial tasks. Only laundry has been completed, all of it, including being sorted, folded or hung, and put away.
I was hoping to do more. I realized aches and pains were holding me back. And that I hadn't taken aspirin. So I took aspirin. Too late, for more work. It did likely help to push the day well into early afternoon. Even being overcast, damp, and cool out there. A good day for a rough start on a tough day.
Blood sugar has been crazy. Starting at 199, falling to 149, 102, 109, and finally 105 just now. I am not doing a thing different. I took insulin with a meal at 149, but not with the next meal and read. The last two reads were without meals anyway, so insulin wouldn't have been used. I performed an extra test just to be sure.
It is about bedtime. Good night.
.
Some work. As well, a lengthened day. Mopped around the toilet, folded and put away the towels, collected more garbage, put most of the dishes to soak, shaved, and several other small partial tasks. Only laundry has been completed, all of it, including being sorted, folded or hung, and put away.
I was hoping to do more. I realized aches and pains were holding me back. And that I hadn't taken aspirin. So I took aspirin. Too late, for more work. It did likely help to push the day well into early afternoon. Even being overcast, damp, and cool out there. A good day for a rough start on a tough day.
Blood sugar has been crazy. Starting at 199, falling to 149, 102, 109, and finally 105 just now. I am not doing a thing different. I took insulin with a meal at 149, but not with the next meal and read. The last two reads were without meals anyway, so insulin wouldn't have been used. I performed an extra test just to be sure.
It is about bedtime. Good night.
Thursday, May 23, 2019
A bit more.
.
.
Not much work, some little non-listed chores. But the waking cycle was stretched. There is a cost. Then again, I am in a phase in which there is no easy way out. It will hurt, a lot, no matter what I do. Sleep acts as a mild temporary pain reliever but my ribs and other parts end up suffering for it. Being awake means suffering those pains, perhaps developing or exacerbating aches and pains from excessive sleep or previous work.
I still struggle to be awake and further to work. The plans are as yesterday. A shower, shave, laundry, dishes, trash and recycling, and work in the bedroom. I did thaw meat, so eating shouldn't be difficult. Some meat, some chia cereal mix, and fatted coffee make for a lightly balanced meal menu. A few veggies wouldn't hurt.
Odd. If I do a lot of work, or stretch my day, more if both, the aches and pains fade quickly after waking. They don't ever completely go away, and sometimes one or another doesn't fade at all. Still, the majority do pass if I push. Uhrm, unless I far overdo things... not always then is suffering exacerbated, just usually... or sometimes? Better to push, if that costs consciously and 'visibly' in the now. What stays today is neck tension and the mild headache that goes with it. Aspirin.
Fasting blood sugar is once again below 200. At 178 it is still high. Something about excessive sleep has been playing havoc with the numbers. Raising them whether food is consumed and or insulin is thus administered or not while awake. I have been eating keto, too, exclusively. It just doesn't matter. The way sleep used to lower blood sugar was when I would sleep for whole days or even weeks. Yes, I did. I am not ill enough anymore. These fast short cycles somehow raise my blood sugar. Still, with an attempt to focus food and insulin, and taking some mild risks, the numbers are improving.
Well... on to waking, then to work. Towels, a shower, and then dishes and trash/bagging, I believe. I'll figure the rest out after. Oh, a dream. Funny, to me. I'm not even sure about sharing the punchline. You can't handle the truth. Maybe. Later.
.
Not much work, some little non-listed chores. But the waking cycle was stretched. There is a cost. Then again, I am in a phase in which there is no easy way out. It will hurt, a lot, no matter what I do. Sleep acts as a mild temporary pain reliever but my ribs and other parts end up suffering for it. Being awake means suffering those pains, perhaps developing or exacerbating aches and pains from excessive sleep or previous work.
I still struggle to be awake and further to work. The plans are as yesterday. A shower, shave, laundry, dishes, trash and recycling, and work in the bedroom. I did thaw meat, so eating shouldn't be difficult. Some meat, some chia cereal mix, and fatted coffee make for a lightly balanced meal menu. A few veggies wouldn't hurt.
Odd. If I do a lot of work, or stretch my day, more if both, the aches and pains fade quickly after waking. They don't ever completely go away, and sometimes one or another doesn't fade at all. Still, the majority do pass if I push. Uhrm, unless I far overdo things... not always then is suffering exacerbated, just usually... or sometimes? Better to push, if that costs consciously and 'visibly' in the now. What stays today is neck tension and the mild headache that goes with it. Aspirin.
Fasting blood sugar is once again below 200. At 178 it is still high. Something about excessive sleep has been playing havoc with the numbers. Raising them whether food is consumed and or insulin is thus administered or not while awake. I have been eating keto, too, exclusively. It just doesn't matter. The way sleep used to lower blood sugar was when I would sleep for whole days or even weeks. Yes, I did. I am not ill enough anymore. These fast short cycles somehow raise my blood sugar. Still, with an attempt to focus food and insulin, and taking some mild risks, the numbers are improving.
Well... on to waking, then to work. Towels, a shower, and then dishes and trash/bagging, I believe. I'll figure the rest out after. Oh, a dream. Funny, to me. I'm not even sure about sharing the punchline. You can't handle the truth. Maybe. Later.
I was wrong.
.
.
I was certain sleep would quickly descend. I felt the pull. Aches, pains, and strains looked to be toppling me. I didn't want to take aspirin, I couldn't remember when I took it last. The stuff, taken too often, can cause serious bloody noses, even the low dose used with the rest of the heart meds.
I didn't try to stay awake, I simply ended up being unable to sleep. I was able to do just a bit of work. Getting one bag of trash out, clearing the freezer top, and getting a small load of dishes collected. I am hoping to finish the few towels, shower, bag and finish getting trash out, and get the last batch of dishes set up. It, this time, sounds like more than it is. If I could hit it, using an hour would be going slow. If... I can do that.
Medicine, aspirin since it has definitely been a while, perhaps breakfast, and meat pulled to thaw. Then to get going on the rest. I think I might be able to cut these down, possibly going on from there. I'd actually like to do work in the bedroom before hitting... finishing actually... the bathroom. I have cleaned the toilet again, and done a few other little bits in there. Just a small bit of tidying, sweeping, and mopping.
It is getting done. I do need food though. Out of better eggs, might have a few store eggs. I have learned to thaw meat in a hurry. Wait, I have bacon. If it's good. Oh, yeah, it should be. Later.
.
I was certain sleep would quickly descend. I felt the pull. Aches, pains, and strains looked to be toppling me. I didn't want to take aspirin, I couldn't remember when I took it last. The stuff, taken too often, can cause serious bloody noses, even the low dose used with the rest of the heart meds.
I didn't try to stay awake, I simply ended up being unable to sleep. I was able to do just a bit of work. Getting one bag of trash out, clearing the freezer top, and getting a small load of dishes collected. I am hoping to finish the few towels, shower, bag and finish getting trash out, and get the last batch of dishes set up. It, this time, sounds like more than it is. If I could hit it, using an hour would be going slow. If... I can do that.
Medicine, aspirin since it has definitely been a while, perhaps breakfast, and meat pulled to thaw. Then to get going on the rest. I think I might be able to cut these down, possibly going on from there. I'd actually like to do work in the bedroom before hitting... finishing actually... the bathroom. I have cleaned the toilet again, and done a few other little bits in there. Just a small bit of tidying, sweeping, and mopping.
It is getting done. I do need food though. Out of better eggs, might have a few store eggs. I have learned to thaw meat in a hurry. Wait, I have bacon. If it's good. Oh, yeah, it should be. Later.
Wednesday, May 22, 2019
So much sleep.
.
.
It really isn't a choice. I fail in some odd way. Just as when everyone eventually falls asleep after their regular day. Only I am falling asleep every few hours. I have been eating, taking medicine, and keeping tasks, chores, and duties in mind and as actionable as possible.
I am terribly sore. Ribs, back, thighs, everywhere lifting would cause strain. I believe the dishes, laundry, and picking up and cleaning I did simply caught up with me. With cool temps, dark and damp days, recovery has been slow. I almost wonder if I have been turned into a plant! No sun sure seems to limit and reduce healing and recovery.
A bit to eat. A few hours awake. Even so, I suspect it is time to go back to bed. I may turn the furnace up so when I wake next time perhaps work can be tried right away. The last of the laundry folded, a shower, then the last of the dishes set up. I couldn't push through these last few wakes. Perhaps waking right into a warmer house would help.
If I can get things started right away, maybe I can do a second work period. Nothing breeds success like success. At least, with sleeping being the option to work, I am not falling behind in my efforts. There is simply no advance against the mess and chaos. But I can easily see, and I do appreciate, what has been done. Good night, again, etc.
.
It really isn't a choice. I fail in some odd way. Just as when everyone eventually falls asleep after their regular day. Only I am falling asleep every few hours. I have been eating, taking medicine, and keeping tasks, chores, and duties in mind and as actionable as possible.
I am terribly sore. Ribs, back, thighs, everywhere lifting would cause strain. I believe the dishes, laundry, and picking up and cleaning I did simply caught up with me. With cool temps, dark and damp days, recovery has been slow. I almost wonder if I have been turned into a plant! No sun sure seems to limit and reduce healing and recovery.
A bit to eat. A few hours awake. Even so, I suspect it is time to go back to bed. I may turn the furnace up so when I wake next time perhaps work can be tried right away. The last of the laundry folded, a shower, then the last of the dishes set up. I couldn't push through these last few wakes. Perhaps waking right into a warmer house would help.
If I can get things started right away, maybe I can do a second work period. Nothing breeds success like success. At least, with sleeping being the option to work, I am not falling behind in my efforts. There is simply no advance against the mess and chaos. But I can easily see, and I do appreciate, what has been done. Good night, again, etc.
Crashed shortly after the last post.
.
.
After the fever one. The other was made along with the previous dream video, but parted as the videos were long. I didn't immediately crash, drifted back to sleep. No work, couldn't. Just staying awake was the work. And it was serious effort. I might get aspirin down. That is said to help with fever, definitely helps with these aches and pains.
I woke just a bit ago but may just turn back in. The ducks were checked. With the ladies nesting diligently, food and water stay clean and aren't used quickly. I still try to do well by them, checking twice a day even if they don't need food or water. I keep their water topped off and enough food for a day, in case illness gets to me.
I am doing well for the condition. Meds taken regularly, even, mostly, insulin. Diabetes is back down to usually below 200s. I am hoping to get it back down, a lot. I really wonder if low blood sugar is difficult for my body. Every time I near 100s something goes wrong. Is this current illness some sort of flu or a negative reaction to lower blood sugar.
I will keep trying. Perhaps I simply have to focus through the sickness until I make it to calm. It is difficult even with a smaller if permanent seeming fever, aches, pains, and general difficulty staying awake. Still, I will give it my best. Back to bed. I will get back to work soon enough. When I can.
.
After the fever one. The other was made along with the previous dream video, but parted as the videos were long. I didn't immediately crash, drifted back to sleep. No work, couldn't. Just staying awake was the work. And it was serious effort. I might get aspirin down. That is said to help with fever, definitely helps with these aches and pains.
I woke just a bit ago but may just turn back in. The ducks were checked. With the ladies nesting diligently, food and water stay clean and aren't used quickly. I still try to do well by them, checking twice a day even if they don't need food or water. I keep their water topped off and enough food for a day, in case illness gets to me.
I am doing well for the condition. Meds taken regularly, even, mostly, insulin. Diabetes is back down to usually below 200s. I am hoping to get it back down, a lot. I really wonder if low blood sugar is difficult for my body. Every time I near 100s something goes wrong. Is this current illness some sort of flu or a negative reaction to lower blood sugar.
I will keep trying. Perhaps I simply have to focus through the sickness until I make it to calm. It is difficult even with a smaller if permanent seeming fever, aches, pains, and general difficulty staying awake. Still, I will give it my best. Back to bed. I will get back to work soon enough. When I can.
The next part of the dreaming.
.
.
Even these are dark dreams. Winning comes at such high costs. And what can be released is too terrible for most to understand. Everyone thinks being a dragon, just for a day... they would set things to rights. You can't. You will only light the world on fire. And it is never for a day. The hunger... once you begin...
.
Even these are dark dreams. Winning comes at such high costs. And what can be released is too terrible for most to understand. Everyone thinks being a dragon, just for a day... they would set things to rights. You can't. You will only light the world on fire. And it is never for a day. The hunger... once you begin...
Fever?
.
.
I suspect so. A mild fever. I had a thought about diabetes. At 159 it isn't perfect, but higher than the low that can mimic feverishness. With sleep so off, a fever now, plus aches, I am not sure this is a fasting draw. I think I slept four hours or less. Actually, that was several hours ago. So a test before, and after, a fatted tea read 169. I was sure that first read was 168. I have had the number change before. Never had that happen with my other tester. I will start manually logging, just checking.
Sure, it could be memory problems, but why now and a bunch of times in the last month? Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. Could it just be some programming error, algorithm function, or actual manual alteration, if true (it is)? Why argue, just check, easy enough. Can't be gaslighted with real numbers.
I ended up crashing after the last post. Immediately. I am feeling rough enough that it could happen again at any time. All the aches and pains of before, plus the feverishness, it might take me down in a hurry. The pull is there. Still I am hoping to shower, finish folding the laundry, and start the last of the dishes. If I can push through, perhaps I can deal with trash and do some work in the bathroom. Maybe on to finishing dishes and getting to things in the bedroom?
If not, tomorrow... whatever that might mean in my condition, or the 'day' after that, or the next 'day', the following 'day', or some other 'day'. It is what I have had to do the last three work time zones. Days to weeks down. Further, I have caught up fairly well. I just hope to get caught up and then into solid organization. I'll get to it. Eventually I might even truly get caught up and become solidly situated.
Oh, I will be ordering a dumpster the middle of next month for the middle of the following month. That will seriously help. Sure, I keep saying that. But first SSD flatlined, then winter and illness hit, then buying a car this spring, plus such dark weather. When possible, no sooner. Later.
.
I suspect so. A mild fever. I had a thought about diabetes. At 159 it isn't perfect, but higher than the low that can mimic feverishness. With sleep so off, a fever now, plus aches, I am not sure this is a fasting draw. I think I slept four hours or less. Actually, that was several hours ago. So a test before, and after, a fatted tea read 169. I was sure that first read was 168. I have had the number change before. Never had that happen with my other tester. I will start manually logging, just checking.
Sure, it could be memory problems, but why now and a bunch of times in the last month? Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. Could it just be some programming error, algorithm function, or actual manual alteration, if true (it is)? Why argue, just check, easy enough. Can't be gaslighted with real numbers.
I ended up crashing after the last post. Immediately. I am feeling rough enough that it could happen again at any time. All the aches and pains of before, plus the feverishness, it might take me down in a hurry. The pull is there. Still I am hoping to shower, finish folding the laundry, and start the last of the dishes. If I can push through, perhaps I can deal with trash and do some work in the bathroom. Maybe on to finishing dishes and getting to things in the bedroom?
If not, tomorrow... whatever that might mean in my condition, or the 'day' after that, or the next 'day', the following 'day', or some other 'day'. It is what I have had to do the last three work time zones. Days to weeks down. Further, I have caught up fairly well. I just hope to get caught up and then into solid organization. I'll get to it. Eventually I might even truly get caught up and become solidly situated.
Oh, I will be ordering a dumpster the middle of next month for the middle of the following month. That will seriously help. Sure, I keep saying that. But first SSD flatlined, then winter and illness hit, then buying a car this spring, plus such dark weather. When possible, no sooner. Later.
Tuesday, May 21, 2019
Still awake and much better.
.
.
Dinner is being planned. The furnace has been turned up. I will deal with laundry shortly, then take a shower. That will probably be it. I will most likely go back to bed after those things in the hopes for an early rise and a new start tomorrow. Perhaps a shave first thing. If I get the shower, I may put all remaining dishes in for a final wash starting tomorrow.
As exhausted as I am feeling, I am not planning a lot of work tomorrow. Dishes, but maybe just a wash, maybe two, then leave them to a rinse, finishing them the next day. The only thing I want to definitely start and finish is bagging and trash out. Even that seems a bit much. If it is the plan. If that works, I will start in on the bedroom the day after, and finish the dishes.
I would also like to call family tomorrow, and medical peeps. I am so tired. At least the aches and pains are much milder. Well, on to a meal. Later. Probably good night.
.
Dinner is being planned. The furnace has been turned up. I will deal with laundry shortly, then take a shower. That will probably be it. I will most likely go back to bed after those things in the hopes for an early rise and a new start tomorrow. Perhaps a shave first thing. If I get the shower, I may put all remaining dishes in for a final wash starting tomorrow.
As exhausted as I am feeling, I am not planning a lot of work tomorrow. Dishes, but maybe just a wash, maybe two, then leave them to a rinse, finishing them the next day. The only thing I want to definitely start and finish is bagging and trash out. Even that seems a bit much. If it is the plan. If that works, I will start in on the bedroom the day after, and finish the dishes.
I would also like to call family tomorrow, and medical peeps. I am so tired. At least the aches and pains are much milder. Well, on to a meal. Later. Probably good night.
Crashed.
.
.
Hard. Didn't see it coming. Felt it. It started with the back ache, then became a serious stomachache, then the conscious world just seemed an ever more uncomfortable place to which to be a party. It feels as if I was beaten in the torso on a full stomach. It still feels like that. I am not sure if the back ache is milder or was eclipsed by the stomachache.
Hours of sleep, more than needed for the sensation of being tired. I was attempting to outsleep pain. Whatever was wrong remains wrong. I will hit aspirin. It does feel like bloat. I was trying potatoes, the type which worked before. It isn't working now. I wonder if that is the problem? No more of that. If I want potatoes, from now on I have two choices... raw potatoes or potato substitutes. Potato substitutes aren't even bad, it's more convenience. Substitutes have to be much fresher and require processing.
Some of the wool socks weren't dry, so I hung them on the baskets. The towels should be dry. I'll give them a short refresh anyway, while I shower, when I am able. A spot of tea, medicine, aspirin, then either waking or back to bed. It's gotten like it was when I was perpetually crashing, only with solid physical pains and mechanical ailments.
Later or much later.
.
Hard. Didn't see it coming. Felt it. It started with the back ache, then became a serious stomachache, then the conscious world just seemed an ever more uncomfortable place to which to be a party. It feels as if I was beaten in the torso on a full stomach. It still feels like that. I am not sure if the back ache is milder or was eclipsed by the stomachache.
Hours of sleep, more than needed for the sensation of being tired. I was attempting to outsleep pain. Whatever was wrong remains wrong. I will hit aspirin. It does feel like bloat. I was trying potatoes, the type which worked before. It isn't working now. I wonder if that is the problem? No more of that. If I want potatoes, from now on I have two choices... raw potatoes or potato substitutes. Potato substitutes aren't even bad, it's more convenience. Substitutes have to be much fresher and require processing.
Some of the wool socks weren't dry, so I hung them on the baskets. The towels should be dry. I'll give them a short refresh anyway, while I shower, when I am able. A spot of tea, medicine, aspirin, then either waking or back to bed. It's gotten like it was when I was perpetually crashing, only with solid physical pains and mechanical ailments.
Later or much later.
Back ache.
.
.
A meal, small but good... the last of the roast beef. Eggs before too long. Perhaps sardines in a bit. That should allow for an attempt at intermittent fasting with a four hour eating window. If I suffer hunger, I'll eat a bit more tomorrow. I think focus might be back. It is worth a try. Perhaps an ounce per of two sorts of nuts as well? Maybe chia and flax instead of eggs? Hmm, actually, chia and flax as a final meal is best. That keeps me tanked up forever!
All of the dishes set to go have been dried and put up. The socks are all dry, at my feet, and about to be mated. The towels are drying. More? I don't know. As mentioned, my back is killing me. I will do more work, but how much, how fast, is another issue. Perhaps if I work while seated? Yeah, that might work for bagging and taking boxes down. Perhaps some of the work in the bedroom can be accomplished seated.
A shower might help. I have salve, for aching bones, muscle, anything. I could put a bit of that on after. Why I never remember that stuff? If I do have a mild fear of it. It is potent. And it smells. I like the smell, menthol, but... even non-hunter types can catch this, perhaps days after application. Still...
That will be it for laundry. There are still dishes. Of course trash, recycling, clearing, and cleaning, pretty much everywhere, remain. Still, a very good few day run. If I can seriously keep at it, I really might complete the bedroom and bathroom by Friday, the kitchen next week, and the living room the week after that? If is a mighty big word sometimes.
Well, to finish socks and get another meal. Another very dark day. For a nyctophiliac it isn't all bad. And it stays cooler. Later.
.
A meal, small but good... the last of the roast beef. Eggs before too long. Perhaps sardines in a bit. That should allow for an attempt at intermittent fasting with a four hour eating window. If I suffer hunger, I'll eat a bit more tomorrow. I think focus might be back. It is worth a try. Perhaps an ounce per of two sorts of nuts as well? Maybe chia and flax instead of eggs? Hmm, actually, chia and flax as a final meal is best. That keeps me tanked up forever!
All of the dishes set to go have been dried and put up. The socks are all dry, at my feet, and about to be mated. The towels are drying. More? I don't know. As mentioned, my back is killing me. I will do more work, but how much, how fast, is another issue. Perhaps if I work while seated? Yeah, that might work for bagging and taking boxes down. Perhaps some of the work in the bedroom can be accomplished seated.
A shower might help. I have salve, for aching bones, muscle, anything. I could put a bit of that on after. Why I never remember that stuff? If I do have a mild fear of it. It is potent. And it smells. I like the smell, menthol, but... even non-hunter types can catch this, perhaps days after application. Still...
That will be it for laundry. There are still dishes. Of course trash, recycling, clearing, and cleaning, pretty much everywhere, remain. Still, a very good few day run. If I can seriously keep at it, I really might complete the bedroom and bathroom by Friday, the kitchen next week, and the living room the week after that? If is a mighty big word sometimes.
Well, to finish socks and get another meal. Another very dark day. For a nyctophiliac it isn't all bad. And it stays cooler. Later.
A solid start.
.
.
Tea, a fatted coffee, soon a bite. The two smaller loads of dishes were turned over. Both washed, one rinsed dried and put up, the other soap soaked again. Laundry put through, another load set to wash. Small loads so they will be pushed on through to completion. Wool socks, then mixed white socks, and then all white towels. While the last is a huge load, bigger than my winter weight comforter, there are only three or four pieces. One last load after the one in the wash. I have an alarm set for an hour. Dishes will be hit, possibly laundry if it is ready.
Beef, a fatted tea, and... a bit of gaming or a show? Something. Just writing to keep work tacked down in my mind. It helps, somehow. After dishes and laundry, I will start on bagging and breaking down boxes. To get to one it may be more efficient to do both. It'll move along well, I think. After every hour or two resting I will attempt an hour or two working. If more like an half hour working. It's as much as I can do.
When the dishes soaking are completed, I may get in another shower before collecting the last dishes. That last shower was so good I wouldn't mind another. I might even do a single pass shave later. It had been a long while since my last shave before it. That sometimes makes regrowth faster after a shave. A shave nearly on top of a first in a while shave can dampen that otherwise quick regrowth.
Hmm? Oh, writing too much. Later.
.
Tea, a fatted coffee, soon a bite. The two smaller loads of dishes were turned over. Both washed, one rinsed dried and put up, the other soap soaked again. Laundry put through, another load set to wash. Small loads so they will be pushed on through to completion. Wool socks, then mixed white socks, and then all white towels. While the last is a huge load, bigger than my winter weight comforter, there are only three or four pieces. One last load after the one in the wash. I have an alarm set for an hour. Dishes will be hit, possibly laundry if it is ready.
Beef, a fatted tea, and... a bit of gaming or a show? Something. Just writing to keep work tacked down in my mind. It helps, somehow. After dishes and laundry, I will start on bagging and breaking down boxes. To get to one it may be more efficient to do both. It'll move along well, I think. After every hour or two resting I will attempt an hour or two working. If more like an half hour working. It's as much as I can do.
When the dishes soaking are completed, I may get in another shower before collecting the last dishes. That last shower was so good I wouldn't mind another. I might even do a single pass shave later. It had been a long while since my last shave before it. That sometimes makes regrowth faster after a shave. A shave nearly on top of a first in a while shave can dampen that otherwise quick regrowth.
Hmm? Oh, writing too much. Later.
A very good sleep.
.
.
I wasn't sure what to expect. After those days of confused sleep and wakefulness, with no ability to work, then a normal seeming day with a lot of work, I didn't know. I am a bit stiff, sore. Some of it from work, some probably from sleeping too deeply, too little movement. Still, not too bad.
Laundry was started first thing, the two smaller loads of dishes were reset. Tea is going in, hot tea has started as well. Oh, I set coffee to cold brew last night. I took out the grounds and topped of the jug after setting tea up. It is espresso strength, so can be cut by a one part cold brew to three or four parts water... for a typical American cup of joe, or just enjoyed in the espresso sizes. A bit of cream, butter, mtc or coconut oil added to keto the stuff.
Sleep was between nine and ten hours. Not bad. I will check the laundry and see about breakfast. A bit of beef and a fatted coffee. I miss fresh coffee. As soon as this jug gets to half, I have another gallon jug to rotate in. Yeah. Coffee and tea, cold or hot, perhaps mixed. Hmm...
Today? Dishes, laundry, perhaps finishing those. Bagging and collecting trash and recycling. Work in the bedroom. Work in the bathroom. Work in the kitchen... actually tearing down boxes which would mostly be work in the kitchen. Too much, but an advance on a new list. I will do what of it is possible. Laundry turnover right now, then dishes. At least one smaller load should be ready to dry, the rest can be washed then set to a rinse, to be dried and put up the next time I cycle laundry? Yeah.
Later.
.
I wasn't sure what to expect. After those days of confused sleep and wakefulness, with no ability to work, then a normal seeming day with a lot of work, I didn't know. I am a bit stiff, sore. Some of it from work, some probably from sleeping too deeply, too little movement. Still, not too bad.
Laundry was started first thing, the two smaller loads of dishes were reset. Tea is going in, hot tea has started as well. Oh, I set coffee to cold brew last night. I took out the grounds and topped of the jug after setting tea up. It is espresso strength, so can be cut by a one part cold brew to three or four parts water... for a typical American cup of joe, or just enjoyed in the espresso sizes. A bit of cream, butter, mtc or coconut oil added to keto the stuff.
Sleep was between nine and ten hours. Not bad. I will check the laundry and see about breakfast. A bit of beef and a fatted coffee. I miss fresh coffee. As soon as this jug gets to half, I have another gallon jug to rotate in. Yeah. Coffee and tea, cold or hot, perhaps mixed. Hmm...
Today? Dishes, laundry, perhaps finishing those. Bagging and collecting trash and recycling. Work in the bedroom. Work in the bathroom. Work in the kitchen... actually tearing down boxes which would mostly be work in the kitchen. Too much, but an advance on a new list. I will do what of it is possible. Laundry turnover right now, then dishes. At least one smaller load should be ready to dry, the rest can be washed then set to a rinse, to be dried and put up the next time I cycle laundry? Yeah.
Later.
Monday, May 20, 2019
Everything except the trash and last loads.
.
.
I will get the last of the laundry sorted, folded or hung, and put away. I just can't get to refuse. I lost interest when I realized, with certainty, that only a bag or two, mostly packing material, would definitely be all to go out. A triple batch of dishes are soaking, laundry will be cleared for tomorrow, a shower was wonderful. Everything but trash etc.
So tired. This time exhaustion is well earned. I'll listen to a bit of music as I fold laundry. I was starting to fear I wouldn't be able to work, even wake, again.
Good night, day.
.
I will get the last of the laundry sorted, folded or hung, and put away. I just can't get to refuse. I lost interest when I realized, with certainty, that only a bag or two, mostly packing material, would definitely be all to go out. A triple batch of dishes are soaking, laundry will be cleared for tomorrow, a shower was wonderful. Everything but trash etc.
So tired. This time exhaustion is well earned. I'll listen to a bit of music as I fold laundry. I was starting to fear I wouldn't be able to work, even wake, again.
Good night, day.
Ugh.
.
.
Laundry up, another small load nearly finished. Another in the wash since the drying load is so small. A shower after the washing machine is completed. Then bagging, trash, and recycling. I would like to finish the laundry completely and set up the dishes so as to be ready to go with a fresh start.
I also set up insulin for several days and made the bed. If I get the shower shortly, then can keep working for a bit yet this morning, I should be dry enough to sleep more comfortably. We'll see. Hmm, perhaps supper too. I am hungry. Beef fried egg and cauliflower rice? It sounds good, if possible.
Actually there isn't going to be much trash. I would still like to bag out what is there. Yeah. Supper first, then a shower. ??? Later.
.
Laundry up, another small load nearly finished. Another in the wash since the drying load is so small. A shower after the washing machine is completed. Then bagging, trash, and recycling. I would like to finish the laundry completely and set up the dishes so as to be ready to go with a fresh start.
I also set up insulin for several days and made the bed. If I get the shower shortly, then can keep working for a bit yet this morning, I should be dry enough to sleep more comfortably. We'll see. Hmm, perhaps supper too. I am hungry. Beef fried egg and cauliflower rice? It sounds good, if possible.
Actually there isn't going to be much trash. I would still like to bag out what is there. Yeah. Supper first, then a shower. ??? Later.
Still at it.
.
.
A shave and a small laundry load of a few blankets and single pair of underwear missed with regular cotton clothes just now. A meal earlier. Next laundry to be put up, then a shower. Trash and recycling, after bagging. Bagging the bins doesn't sound bad, but I keep five active kitchen sized and one larger size, and put four or five bags per bin. In case of drips or a tear. Yeah. After the shower, the next dishes get set up.
Not a bad run tonight. Trash is the main next focus. If all else fails I want that. I would sure like to get it all done, and might. I am not sure why it started happening. I just know I am enjoying it. A slight headache forming so a few aspirin down in hopes of possibly finishing. Got to keep pushing. Then I might hit the bedroom and the bathroom the next time I can work. Plus the last of dishes and laundry.
Another batch of videos came together. Actually all at once, but I parted them by... just how I felt they fit. After I had the sets, and as I arranged them, I noticed someone sensed my... problems, and hit up a post that had covered some of these things previously. It amazes me how someone does that.
To see and understand... assuming they do actually see, but then track back to an old post of a similar nature? If they aren't seeing what I am viewing on youtube, then finding a correct correlated blog post is... phenomenal. Whoever is doing it does it often. Whether one or several? Usually they are invisible, save leaving a visited post but with no indication of who, where, even when. Must be kin.
I'd better have a touch of tea, get insulin in, and night meds plus aspirin, then put laundry up, so as to get laundry into the dryer and a shower. Later.
.
A shave and a small laundry load of a few blankets and single pair of underwear missed with regular cotton clothes just now. A meal earlier. Next laundry to be put up, then a shower. Trash and recycling, after bagging. Bagging the bins doesn't sound bad, but I keep five active kitchen sized and one larger size, and put four or five bags per bin. In case of drips or a tear. Yeah. After the shower, the next dishes get set up.
Not a bad run tonight. Trash is the main next focus. If all else fails I want that. I would sure like to get it all done, and might. I am not sure why it started happening. I just know I am enjoying it. A slight headache forming so a few aspirin down in hopes of possibly finishing. Got to keep pushing. Then I might hit the bedroom and the bathroom the next time I can work. Plus the last of dishes and laundry.
Another batch of videos came together. Actually all at once, but I parted them by... just how I felt they fit. After I had the sets, and as I arranged them, I noticed someone sensed my... problems, and hit up a post that had covered some of these things previously. It amazes me how someone does that.
To see and understand... assuming they do actually see, but then track back to an old post of a similar nature? If they aren't seeing what I am viewing on youtube, then finding a correct correlated blog post is... phenomenal. Whoever is doing it does it often. Whether one or several? Usually they are invisible, save leaving a visited post but with no indication of who, where, even when. Must be kin.
I'd better have a touch of tea, get insulin in, and night meds plus aspirin, then put laundry up, so as to get laundry into the dryer and a shower. Later.
While sleeping, dreaming.
.
.
Work is doing well. Cold and fresh tea, all laundry folded or sorted. I will, with laundry, wait until it is all put away, hopefully tonight, before starting another load... which itself will have to be washed, dried, sorted, and put up before the next load is started. Two large loads, if because of blankets. Might end up being four if either seem to large. Then two small loads of specialty items, wool and synthetic socks and underwear.
Dishes have been finished. Some need one more wash, two smaller loads were rinsed, dried, and put up. I still have to put up clothes etc., shave, and shower. If that goes well, I will set one more load of laundry to wash and three loads of dishes to soak, if the real plan is bagging cans, getting trash and recycling out and if there is enough then to get those to the curb. I haven't been collecting or creating much waste lately.
As to dreams... I really didn't want to discuss them. At first they hurt. As I improved, as time passed, they got better or I became comfortable with them, again. Losing? Winning? Both? Is there always a difference? I... remember... dark things. Sometimes I terribly enjoy, sometimes I cry like a little girl.
.
Work is doing well. Cold and fresh tea, all laundry folded or sorted. I will, with laundry, wait until it is all put away, hopefully tonight, before starting another load... which itself will have to be washed, dried, sorted, and put up before the next load is started. Two large loads, if because of blankets. Might end up being four if either seem to large. Then two small loads of specialty items, wool and synthetic socks and underwear.
Dishes have been finished. Some need one more wash, two smaller loads were rinsed, dried, and put up. I still have to put up clothes etc., shave, and shower. If that goes well, I will set one more load of laundry to wash and three loads of dishes to soak, if the real plan is bagging cans, getting trash and recycling out and if there is enough then to get those to the curb. I haven't been collecting or creating much waste lately.
As to dreams... I really didn't want to discuss them. At first they hurt. As I improved, as time passed, they got better or I became comfortable with them, again. Losing? Winning? Both? Is there always a difference? I... remember... dark things. Sometimes I terribly enjoy, sometimes I cry like a little girl.
Sunday, May 19, 2019
Still awake!?!
.
.
Awake and in good spirits. I do believe I will put laundry to a warming fluff and hit the dishes while that is underway. If that doesn't cause a crash, then I will fold clothes, shave and shower, get trash and recycling out, then at least set the remaining dishes to soak while putting another single load of laundry through to at least a first dryer run.
Really? Look, I will do what of that I can do. Trash and recycling are vital, if there probably isn't much. It is mostly getting bins bagged. Though who knows, there might be a full bag or two of trash, if very little recycling. How much can I really do? If I am as I now feel, much if not all. There isn't anything extra in the way. Every task is well started, in process, already set to go. Much less than that first set up. All of it? Doubtful. But a lot of it. Maybe, perhaps, who knows.
First a fatted tea. I just had a bit of roast beef. Then the furnace will be turned up a bit and I will dress more warmly... I didn't think I would still be awake, let alone be able to work. I thought I would crash imminently or shortly. Almost did. All good. I really enjoy working when I can.
If I could, I would work hours daily. I really enjoy doing things, having a clean place, getting out, and just doing, working, stretching, learning, becoming stronger, faster, better. If only I could stay awake and alert for the time necessary to dig in... physically this day, mentally that, religiously in all things.
I have... a while. I will use what I have. While it is God's day, He gives it to us. If our ass is in a hole, as mine certainly is, I am obliged to pull it out. So be it. Good day.
.
Awake and in good spirits. I do believe I will put laundry to a warming fluff and hit the dishes while that is underway. If that doesn't cause a crash, then I will fold clothes, shave and shower, get trash and recycling out, then at least set the remaining dishes to soak while putting another single load of laundry through to at least a first dryer run.
Really? Look, I will do what of that I can do. Trash and recycling are vital, if there probably isn't much. It is mostly getting bins bagged. Though who knows, there might be a full bag or two of trash, if very little recycling. How much can I really do? If I am as I now feel, much if not all. There isn't anything extra in the way. Every task is well started, in process, already set to go. Much less than that first set up. All of it? Doubtful. But a lot of it. Maybe, perhaps, who knows.
First a fatted tea. I just had a bit of roast beef. Then the furnace will be turned up a bit and I will dress more warmly... I didn't think I would still be awake, let alone be able to work. I thought I would crash imminently or shortly. Almost did. All good. I really enjoy working when I can.
If I could, I would work hours daily. I really enjoy doing things, having a clean place, getting out, and just doing, working, stretching, learning, becoming stronger, faster, better. If only I could stay awake and alert for the time necessary to dig in... physically this day, mentally that, religiously in all things.
I have... a while. I will use what I have. While it is God's day, He gives it to us. If our ass is in a hole, as mine certainly is, I am obliged to pull it out. So be it. Good day.
Awake again, again, again.
.
.
I am not sure if I will be able to stay awake. I ran out of night urinals. I don't use those on one water pill. Not often when taking two pills. But, when using three I need one every three to four hours, filling a liter to over the fill line if not quite to needing a second one, usually. With sleep going wonky, I decided to take three for a bit. I am pretty sure that wasn't the problem, but it may have been becoming a problem.
While I am backing off fluid intake, I haven't backed off quickly enough. This just flushed the system before a problem did occur. I may do that every few weeks until things seem right. Even if I do this every few weeks, for two days, using one pill between, that will be far better on my system than using three of them the whole time. Besides, I think I might get down to just one in time. Perhaps down to half or none. Worth a shot.
Anyway, I was all out of pee jugs. So, I emptied, cleaned with a strong bleach solution, then rinsed. I don't want my place smelling like an unclean nursing home. Anyway. Having done six jugs, plus gone in the regular john because that is what woke me, I couldn't go back to sleep. While up, I did a search for larger urinals, for home and camping. I found some, but standing like half gallon milk jugs, won't do (milk jug plastic almost rots with use, at some point it fails, and I bet bleaching would be disastrous much more quickly, plus the way it stands and tiny hole, ugh). I did find some that lay down, hold two liters, and have a man sized receiver... I hope. Keeps you warm out camping and you don't have to get out of the warm sleeping setup.
Anyway, so I am awake and on empty. I'll have more tea. Later.
.
I am not sure if I will be able to stay awake. I ran out of night urinals. I don't use those on one water pill. Not often when taking two pills. But, when using three I need one every three to four hours, filling a liter to over the fill line if not quite to needing a second one, usually. With sleep going wonky, I decided to take three for a bit. I am pretty sure that wasn't the problem, but it may have been becoming a problem.
While I am backing off fluid intake, I haven't backed off quickly enough. This just flushed the system before a problem did occur. I may do that every few weeks until things seem right. Even if I do this every few weeks, for two days, using one pill between, that will be far better on my system than using three of them the whole time. Besides, I think I might get down to just one in time. Perhaps down to half or none. Worth a shot.
Anyway, I was all out of pee jugs. So, I emptied, cleaned with a strong bleach solution, then rinsed. I don't want my place smelling like an unclean nursing home. Anyway. Having done six jugs, plus gone in the regular john because that is what woke me, I couldn't go back to sleep. While up, I did a search for larger urinals, for home and camping. I found some, but standing like half gallon milk jugs, won't do (milk jug plastic almost rots with use, at some point it fails, and I bet bleaching would be disastrous much more quickly, plus the way it stands and tiny hole, ugh). I did find some that lay down, hold two liters, and have a man sized receiver... I hope. Keeps you warm out camping and you don't have to get out of the warm sleeping setup.
Anyway, so I am awake and on empty. I'll have more tea. Later.
Still awake.
.
.
I have had to work at it. It may be just about finished. Still, the best waking cycle in days. It is dark out, relatively. I keep looking, when I get up, but I can't remember if it has rained. I would be surprised if not. Then again, life is full of surprises. I'll look now, to give a solid report and attempt to put the truth into longer term memory. Sprinkled very recently or currently, meaning wet spots. As well, probably rained twelve to twenty four hours ago.
Oh, as for youtube? I am suspecting it is more a social score. I do get recommended hd long videos. Very little music and really second rate vids... or whatever they are pushing. Musicians and the rest of the industry, plus video crafters... are they being allowed to exclude specific viewers? I suspect so. Though youtube is possibly doing some of that on their own, maybe all of it. Is my server involved as well? Maybe, but less likely given what is available.
Another dose of tea, then probably to bed. I am hoping to finish laundry next time I am up, then dishes. Dishes may have to wait. We will see soon. Good day and night.
.
I have had to work at it. It may be just about finished. Still, the best waking cycle in days. It is dark out, relatively. I keep looking, when I get up, but I can't remember if it has rained. I would be surprised if not. Then again, life is full of surprises. I'll look now, to give a solid report and attempt to put the truth into longer term memory. Sprinkled very recently or currently, meaning wet spots. As well, probably rained twelve to twenty four hours ago.
Oh, as for youtube? I am suspecting it is more a social score. I do get recommended hd long videos. Very little music and really second rate vids... or whatever they are pushing. Musicians and the rest of the industry, plus video crafters... are they being allowed to exclude specific viewers? I suspect so. Though youtube is possibly doing some of that on their own, maybe all of it. Is my server involved as well? Maybe, but less likely given what is available.
Another dose of tea, then probably to bed. I am hoping to finish laundry next time I am up, then dishes. Dishes may have to wait. We will see soon. Good day and night.
Waking from another crash.
.
.
I wasn't awake for four hours before crashing for the fourth time in the last forty hours. I did get the last load of laundry dried, but no more. I can't stand or do much. I may have to go to bed again shortly. This is one of the worst patches in a very long time. I have figured how to relieve some of the pains, pillows in various places and rolling as often as possible.
I also realize what the problem is with youtube. My server has changed how I view videos. This method doesn't allow me to directly access about two thirds of the videos on youtube, probably because they are hd or too long and hd. As well, youtube itself probably has implemented a social score system, so doesn't care if some people are removed from access.
You don't think China was first, do you? They are slightly more up front about it, but my troubles with the V.A., SSD, youtube, etc, is directly related to my non-conformism. Public and private agencies now work together, for social and economic control. At least I understand. As to Trump's program? Just a faster way to get on the list.
Later.
.
I wasn't awake for four hours before crashing for the fourth time in the last forty hours. I did get the last load of laundry dried, but no more. I can't stand or do much. I may have to go to bed again shortly. This is one of the worst patches in a very long time. I have figured how to relieve some of the pains, pillows in various places and rolling as often as possible.
I also realize what the problem is with youtube. My server has changed how I view videos. This method doesn't allow me to directly access about two thirds of the videos on youtube, probably because they are hd or too long and hd. As well, youtube itself probably has implemented a social score system, so doesn't care if some people are removed from access.
You don't think China was first, do you? They are slightly more up front about it, but my troubles with the V.A., SSD, youtube, etc, is directly related to my non-conformism. Public and private agencies now work together, for social and economic control. At least I understand. As to Trump's program? Just a faster way to get on the list.
Later.
Sleep.
.
.
Three longer sleep periods only four to eight hours apart. I think it is the weather. I definitely have sadds, or such, but there is something about changes in the weather that can have a similar affect. I simply haven't been able to stay awake or work. I will push a few things through, now that I realize I might crash in as little as four hours, and that as tired as I feel at waking, that might be as good as it gets.
At least most pain seems to be gone. And, wow, fasting blood sugar was 105. That is down 100 from the last fasting blood sugar. I'm not sure about that. Will take it. It must have been potatoes. Of course, now I am not sure. I will have a fatted tea, then test in two hours, before breakfast... eggs and... something. If it is below 130 I won't take anything, above 150 somehow I will take 10 cc's. Titrate through , if weighted high? I don't know, exactly.
But first, I will push laundry through. I won't replace loads until all is folded, so as not to get a load forgotten in the washer. Then, as possible, I will hit dishes, fold laundry, then do one load of laundry at a time until I am back to full days. Brutal to be stuck like this. Definitely an invalid, sometimes much more so than other times.
Right, tea, and to get fresh going. Hmm, blood sugar drop might be from not drinking that instant coffee. If blood sugar steadies I will test it. Some instant coffee does that. Some regular coffee does that, to some people. My regular coffee doesn't do it to me, nor tea, not sure about this instant. It's a complicated world. Later.
.
Three longer sleep periods only four to eight hours apart. I think it is the weather. I definitely have sadds, or such, but there is something about changes in the weather that can have a similar affect. I simply haven't been able to stay awake or work. I will push a few things through, now that I realize I might crash in as little as four hours, and that as tired as I feel at waking, that might be as good as it gets.
At least most pain seems to be gone. And, wow, fasting blood sugar was 105. That is down 100 from the last fasting blood sugar. I'm not sure about that. Will take it. It must have been potatoes. Of course, now I am not sure. I will have a fatted tea, then test in two hours, before breakfast... eggs and... something. If it is below 130 I won't take anything, above 150 somehow I will take 10 cc's. Titrate through , if weighted high? I don't know, exactly.
But first, I will push laundry through. I won't replace loads until all is folded, so as not to get a load forgotten in the washer. Then, as possible, I will hit dishes, fold laundry, then do one load of laundry at a time until I am back to full days. Brutal to be stuck like this. Definitely an invalid, sometimes much more so than other times.
Right, tea, and to get fresh going. Hmm, blood sugar drop might be from not drinking that instant coffee. If blood sugar steadies I will test it. Some instant coffee does that. Some regular coffee does that, to some people. My regular coffee doesn't do it to me, nor tea, not sure about this instant. It's a complicated world. Later.
Saturday, May 18, 2019
Awake again.
.
.
A painful wake. No real problem, I am getting used to pain again lately. I think I slept too deeply, didn't roll enough... perhaps at all. No worries, it will work out.
Dishes are planned as a first shot. Two smaller loads to be finished out, the main load to be washed and set out until I shower. Then put back to a clear rinse. Laundry will get a short refresh, then changed through. The dry stuff will get folded on my next break. I'll think about what next after that. Hmm, while waking I will get medicine in and fresh tea started.
Quite a lot of sleep lately. No choice. As long as I can work when awake, I won't fuss to much. Oh, but a shave would be good today too. I hope to check a lot of the list off. Dishes, laundry, bedroom, and bathroom, shave, and shower. Not all today, but it is moving right along. Hmm, as well, perhaps a small egg casserole, using a square rather than rectangular pyrex pans. Too much casserole just creates waste.
Blood sugar was better, at 205 fasting. I must be using too much even liquid splenda. Oh, potatoes... right. Still, it was trying a sort of food that can work, a new form. The rest of my food has been keto. Ugh. I do have insulin set back up, and will get back to full keto and insulin. Blah. Later.
.
A painful wake. No real problem, I am getting used to pain again lately. I think I slept too deeply, didn't roll enough... perhaps at all. No worries, it will work out.
Dishes are planned as a first shot. Two smaller loads to be finished out, the main load to be washed and set out until I shower. Then put back to a clear rinse. Laundry will get a short refresh, then changed through. The dry stuff will get folded on my next break. I'll think about what next after that. Hmm, while waking I will get medicine in and fresh tea started.
Quite a lot of sleep lately. No choice. As long as I can work when awake, I won't fuss to much. Oh, but a shave would be good today too. I hope to check a lot of the list off. Dishes, laundry, bedroom, and bathroom, shave, and shower. Not all today, but it is moving right along. Hmm, as well, perhaps a small egg casserole, using a square rather than rectangular pyrex pans. Too much casserole just creates waste.
Blood sugar was better, at 205 fasting. I must be using too much even liquid splenda. Oh, potatoes... right. Still, it was trying a sort of food that can work, a new form. The rest of my food has been keto. Ugh. I do have insulin set back up, and will get back to full keto and insulin. Blah. Later.
Strange.
.
.
Fed, rested, medicated in all ways, feeling good, with no pain, having just napped, I am crashing. There is nothing I can do to prevent it. I have folded two loads of laundry, but that is it until after whatever sleep is required. I am well set to get to work when I wake. It will work out. Maybe work three days in a row is the deal.
Later.
.
Fed, rested, medicated in all ways, feeling good, with no pain, having just napped, I am crashing. There is nothing I can do to prevent it. I have folded two loads of laundry, but that is it until after whatever sleep is required. I am well set to get to work when I wake. It will work out. Maybe work three days in a row is the deal.
Later.
Up and fed.
.
.
A three to four hour nap. Perfect. Then breakfast. I purchased frozen potato products to try. The french fries and hash browns didn't work as well as tater tots. I suspect tater tots are blanched and then partially baked, perhaps even have some starch soaked out of them? Still, I finished the hashed browns tonight, with cheese on top and four eggs. Absolutely fantastic. I think I will go back to daikon radishes, cauliflower, and that Mexican item, for my potato and rice needs.
I will reset what is in the laundry, dryer. Just to warm it, then fold. Then hit the dishes. I will finish the dishes soaking tonight, then set one more load for my next duty cycle. It will get a first wash, be set out, then a shower in my next morning. I may do one more load of wash tonight. As well, I want to deal with trash and recycling. I also hope to do more sorting in the bedroom. It is really clearing up in there.
The list may still be far too long. But the idea holds. I will do my best. One fatted tea, and setting insulin back up. Ugh, I've fallen from that for days. Back to it. Always something forgotten, missed, off. I'll keep at it, do my best. I have improved in so many ways. I'll never really make it out, but I might enjoy life a bit more for the last three or four decades.
Later.
.
A three to four hour nap. Perfect. Then breakfast. I purchased frozen potato products to try. The french fries and hash browns didn't work as well as tater tots. I suspect tater tots are blanched and then partially baked, perhaps even have some starch soaked out of them? Still, I finished the hashed browns tonight, with cheese on top and four eggs. Absolutely fantastic. I think I will go back to daikon radishes, cauliflower, and that Mexican item, for my potato and rice needs.
I will reset what is in the laundry, dryer. Just to warm it, then fold. Then hit the dishes. I will finish the dishes soaking tonight, then set one more load for my next duty cycle. It will get a first wash, be set out, then a shower in my next morning. I may do one more load of wash tonight. As well, I want to deal with trash and recycling. I also hope to do more sorting in the bedroom. It is really clearing up in there.
The list may still be far too long. But the idea holds. I will do my best. One fatted tea, and setting insulin back up. Ugh, I've fallen from that for days. Back to it. Always something forgotten, missed, off. I'll keep at it, do my best. I have improved in so many ways. I'll never really make it out, but I might enjoy life a bit more for the last three or four decades.
Later.
Friday, May 17, 2019
Food on the mind.
.
.
I can't get going, or quickly. I can dream. I really am hungry though. Perhaps something here will inspire culinary action. After a nap.
With this one, I am planning to just add the dry ingredients, then keep the mixture on hand for mug bread, just add eggs... and any other wet ingredients, minus herbs and spices. I may experiment with oat fiber, mozzarella, and a few other items. But this should make a solid starter.
.
I can't get going, or quickly. I can dream. I really am hungry though. Perhaps something here will inspire culinary action. After a nap.
With this one, I am planning to just add the dry ingredients, then keep the mixture on hand for mug bread, just add eggs... and any other wet ingredients, minus herbs and spices. I may experiment with oat fiber, mozzarella, and a few other items. But this should make a solid starter.
Pain.
.
.
No more or less than usual for these past days. I was surprised there weren't new aches. Still, it is becoming tiresome. Aspirin today. Actually there was something new if unrelated to work. It started late yesterday... my yesterday, your morning. Acid stomach. It was preventing me from sleeping. So a vinegared tea concoction was made and consumed, then a glass of milk was had. Better but not right, not fully. I think it is the instant coffee.
I have an acid reduced instant coffee in the planning. I don't plan to use those, regularly, at home. Cold brew. Glad I am finding what works and what doesn't before I end up with a sour stomach out on a trail. I will probably use that stuff up on those days when I run out of cold brew and am not up to fixing more that day(s). But the suffering that comes with it will push me to make more sooner. Hmm, it might even be causing stomach/g.i. tract binding?
Quite a good day, the last two days. Not as much that first day but it got the ball rolling. I am pretty sure today will be good. A load of laundry right first thing. Dishes as I put that first load into the dryer. No second load until that first load is put away. I could get most laundry and dishes done today, plus dig into the bedroom... perhaps up to, maybe including, putting the closet and/or cage shelving up? I need to find zip ties for the shelving.
Not bad. I am doing quite well. A clean bed and body, plus a rainy cool day, made for a perfect sleep. Yeah, I am ready to hit things. Well, will be. Laundry right first thing, then some wake-up time and tea. Meds down. Fresh tea started while cold teas goes in. Oh, I best thaw a roast or two, burger, and chicken drumsticks. Life is good. Later.
.
No more or less than usual for these past days. I was surprised there weren't new aches. Still, it is becoming tiresome. Aspirin today. Actually there was something new if unrelated to work. It started late yesterday... my yesterday, your morning. Acid stomach. It was preventing me from sleeping. So a vinegared tea concoction was made and consumed, then a glass of milk was had. Better but not right, not fully. I think it is the instant coffee.
I have an acid reduced instant coffee in the planning. I don't plan to use those, regularly, at home. Cold brew. Glad I am finding what works and what doesn't before I end up with a sour stomach out on a trail. I will probably use that stuff up on those days when I run out of cold brew and am not up to fixing more that day(s). But the suffering that comes with it will push me to make more sooner. Hmm, it might even be causing stomach/g.i. tract binding?
Quite a good day, the last two days. Not as much that first day but it got the ball rolling. I am pretty sure today will be good. A load of laundry right first thing. Dishes as I put that first load into the dryer. No second load until that first load is put away. I could get most laundry and dishes done today, plus dig into the bedroom... perhaps up to, maybe including, putting the closet and/or cage shelving up? I need to find zip ties for the shelving.
Not bad. I am doing quite well. A clean bed and body, plus a rainy cool day, made for a perfect sleep. Yeah, I am ready to hit things. Well, will be. Laundry right first thing, then some wake-up time and tea. Meds down. Fresh tea started while cold teas goes in. Oh, I best thaw a roast or two, burger, and chicken drumsticks. Life is good. Later.
Not all of it.
.
.
Not a bad lot. Drying the sheets and bedspread did take five loads. After the second load, I separated the groups. The sheets took one more load. The bedspread took two more full runs, plus several shorter runs. I kept thinking it was almost done. A shower and dishes set to rinses and the main to another soapy soak.
I didn't end up finishing any dishes or dealing with trash or recycling. I just won't shave either. I did make a tuna fried egg and cauliflower rice fry. Not bad, not at all. I will buy cauliflower, once I am sure my food processor is clean and ready, in some bulk. Shred it, blanch it, part some into portions for freezing, and dehydrate some for trail meals. It really isn't bad. There is no carb rush, which is what is missed from potatoes and rice actually.
Oh, I did clean more here and there. Organizing small spits of areas here and there. A few other small projects while resting as well. It was a good day... uhrm, night. Still raining off and on. I don't think it is too bad of a deal. It is almost bedtime. Just a bit of time sitting, winding down. It is 7:30. Perhaps in an half hour, hour? A clean dry body and fresh bedding, plus so much work done, should make sleep a grand affair.
Trash, recycling, dishes, laundry, a shave, and more work in the bedroom. The short work list. If I can keep at it, perhaps finished Saturday?
Good night and day.
.
Not a bad lot. Drying the sheets and bedspread did take five loads. After the second load, I separated the groups. The sheets took one more load. The bedspread took two more full runs, plus several shorter runs. I kept thinking it was almost done. A shower and dishes set to rinses and the main to another soapy soak.
I didn't end up finishing any dishes or dealing with trash or recycling. I just won't shave either. I did make a tuna fried egg and cauliflower rice fry. Not bad, not at all. I will buy cauliflower, once I am sure my food processor is clean and ready, in some bulk. Shred it, blanch it, part some into portions for freezing, and dehydrate some for trail meals. It really isn't bad. There is no carb rush, which is what is missed from potatoes and rice actually.
Oh, I did clean more here and there. Organizing small spits of areas here and there. A few other small projects while resting as well. It was a good day... uhrm, night. Still raining off and on. I don't think it is too bad of a deal. It is almost bedtime. Just a bit of time sitting, winding down. It is 7:30. Perhaps in an half hour, hour? A clean dry body and fresh bedding, plus so much work done, should make sleep a grand affair.
Trash, recycling, dishes, laundry, a shave, and more work in the bedroom. The short work list. If I can keep at it, perhaps finished Saturday?
Good night and day.
Nothing is as it seems.
.
.
Some think things... are what they aren't. I can't tell if it is because they think we are winning or losing. Though some aren't on the right side. If they are nothing but snark, presenting as a straight stick, we probably really don't agree. Sometimes they refuse to be honest. Whatever.
.
Some think things... are what they aren't. I can't tell if it is because they think we are winning or losing. Though some aren't on the right side. If they are nothing but snark, presenting as a straight stick, we probably really don't agree. Sometimes they refuse to be honest. Whatever.
Thursday, May 16, 2019
More. Better.
.
.
More better.
I did bedding first. Flipping and twisting the mattress, adding a padded undersheet, fresh linens, fresh blankets, and a lighter bedspread. Yes, it is made. A few more boxes taken to the spare bedroom, a few piles more of clothes sorted. All the laundry and two or three baskets back to the laundry room.
I wasn't sure after that. Laundry, dishes? I should have hit laundry but didn't. I was thinking I would need water for dishes, but not so much. I just washed the dishes in the water available, then set them out so I can shower after a good long break, and after a shower. Then I put the winter quilt and sheets to wash.
Actually that was a lot more work than I thought it would be. Even so I steam-rolled through it. In a couple hours, I will move the bedding to the dryer, check the water and probably take a shower... the washing machine is very slow, slower yet with bulky heavy items. Then I will reset dishes. If I can rinse and dry a few smaller bunches I will.
No more laundry until the heavy load dries. It can cause a several day backup. Hanging it out would be nice, but it is raining, storming, gusting at times. I don't think my cord is up anymore either. I would sure like to get a serious clothes hanging system out there.
What else tonight? A shower, shave, perhaps one more load of laundry, the dishes I am working on, plus one load set to a fresh soak, trash cans bagged, a load or two of trash and/or recycling out? Probably not possible, but what of it is possible. I am surprised I have completed what was done. Every task had other things as prerequisites, often I got at least a bit sidetracked, and everything takes longer than anticipated as is. So, an excellent run so far.
Fried eggs and spam. I didn't think I'd like the spam. Fried it too. Honestly it wasn't too bad. Sure, it isn't steak. But steak won't last weeks. I guess I have only ever had cold spam. This was pretty good. I won't add salt with anything I am eating with spam, if, thankfully I didn't oversalt the eggs. Still, no extra salt is needed.
Later.
.
More better.
I did bedding first. Flipping and twisting the mattress, adding a padded undersheet, fresh linens, fresh blankets, and a lighter bedspread. Yes, it is made. A few more boxes taken to the spare bedroom, a few piles more of clothes sorted. All the laundry and two or three baskets back to the laundry room.
I wasn't sure after that. Laundry, dishes? I should have hit laundry but didn't. I was thinking I would need water for dishes, but not so much. I just washed the dishes in the water available, then set them out so I can shower after a good long break, and after a shower. Then I put the winter quilt and sheets to wash.
Actually that was a lot more work than I thought it would be. Even so I steam-rolled through it. In a couple hours, I will move the bedding to the dryer, check the water and probably take a shower... the washing machine is very slow, slower yet with bulky heavy items. Then I will reset dishes. If I can rinse and dry a few smaller bunches I will.
No more laundry until the heavy load dries. It can cause a several day backup. Hanging it out would be nice, but it is raining, storming, gusting at times. I don't think my cord is up anymore either. I would sure like to get a serious clothes hanging system out there.
What else tonight? A shower, shave, perhaps one more load of laundry, the dishes I am working on, plus one load set to a fresh soak, trash cans bagged, a load or two of trash and/or recycling out? Probably not possible, but what of it is possible. I am surprised I have completed what was done. Every task had other things as prerequisites, often I got at least a bit sidetracked, and everything takes longer than anticipated as is. So, an excellent run so far.
Fried eggs and spam. I didn't think I'd like the spam. Fried it too. Honestly it wasn't too bad. Sure, it isn't steak. But steak won't last weeks. I guess I have only ever had cold spam. This was pretty good. I won't add salt with anything I am eating with spam, if, thankfully I didn't oversalt the eggs. Still, no extra salt is needed.
Later.
I was so sure.
.
.
The last of the list would be done, dishes. Nope. I crashed so hard and fast I didn't see it coming. I don't remember even finishing that post. Pow, to the moon, Alice. I know it was after 6:00, but half an hour or three hours after I don't know. Sleep was fantastic. In spite of it being a black memory spot, something seems good about it.
I woke a few minutes to half an hour ago. Tea is brewing, a cold spot of it is going down, meds are in. Breakfast is being contemplated. I have store bought eggs that are okay. Not nearly as good as farm fresh, but I don't wish to waste them. I believe hard boiling is the way to go with those. It's the best way for old or inferior eggs.
Much to do. Bedding, laundry, dishes, bagging trash cans and collecting refuse plus getting a bag out. Boiling eggs, thawing meat, and fatted teas. A shower, shave, and cleaning the rest of the bathroom. Not all today, I can't be sure of order. I'll do what I can. I'll get to some of it. I will start with dishes, then bedding, laundry, and a break before a shave, then shower? Actually, probably two or three breaks in there.
A minor storm blew through. It took electricity down just long enough to reset clocks. Winds gusted, perhaps some of the valley received sprinkles. Fast. In, through, gone. Sure is dark out there now. In spite of my trouble with spring, I truly enjoy it's capricious weather.
.
The last of the list would be done, dishes. Nope. I crashed so hard and fast I didn't see it coming. I don't remember even finishing that post. Pow, to the moon, Alice. I know it was after 6:00, but half an hour or three hours after I don't know. Sleep was fantastic. In spite of it being a black memory spot, something seems good about it.
I woke a few minutes to half an hour ago. Tea is brewing, a cold spot of it is going down, meds are in. Breakfast is being contemplated. I have store bought eggs that are okay. Not nearly as good as farm fresh, but I don't wish to waste them. I believe hard boiling is the way to go with those. It's the best way for old or inferior eggs.
Much to do. Bedding, laundry, dishes, bagging trash cans and collecting refuse plus getting a bag out. Boiling eggs, thawing meat, and fatted teas. A shower, shave, and cleaning the rest of the bathroom. Not all today, I can't be sure of order. I'll do what I can. I'll get to some of it. I will start with dishes, then bedding, laundry, and a break before a shave, then shower? Actually, probably two or three breaks in there.
A minor storm blew through. It took electricity down just long enough to reset clocks. Winds gusted, perhaps some of the valley received sprinkles. Fast. In, through, gone. Sure is dark out there now. In spite of my trouble with spring, I truly enjoy it's capricious weather.
Good.
.
.
Not perfect. Not everything. Maybe not finished. All laundry has been handled, that was clean from before. There was more, a few baskets tucked away, than first thought. Much of it had been sorted, even folded. Dinner, and a fatted tea, forgot insulin. Always something.
I am hoping to do dishes. I won't do bedding, shower, or start laundry, but with dishes out of the way I should be able to get those started first thing. It is warm enough to let the place air out, in spite of watching a werewolf type of show on one of my breaks, with some very odd noises outside. Gotta love real atmospherics added for fright factor.
It is a start. I did clean the toilet the other day. I have been eating more, with best in class eggs back in stock. I have cut fluid intake and the water pill to one, successfully so far for the last few days. It's not all hoped, or listed. It is something. And there is always more, and more to tasks and chores, than anticipated.
A bit of tea as I rest, then to dishes then bed. Good night.
.
Not perfect. Not everything. Maybe not finished. All laundry has been handled, that was clean from before. There was more, a few baskets tucked away, than first thought. Much of it had been sorted, even folded. Dinner, and a fatted tea, forgot insulin. Always something.
I am hoping to do dishes. I won't do bedding, shower, or start laundry, but with dishes out of the way I should be able to get those started first thing. It is warm enough to let the place air out, in spite of watching a werewolf type of show on one of my breaks, with some very odd noises outside. Gotta love real atmospherics added for fright factor.
It is a start. I did clean the toilet the other day. I have been eating more, with best in class eggs back in stock. I have cut fluid intake and the water pill to one, successfully so far for the last few days. It's not all hoped, or listed. It is something. And there is always more, and more to tasks and chores, than anticipated.
A bit of tea as I rest, then to dishes then bed. Good night.
Finally!
.
.
Not much. It took a while to start. I am not done yet, if a break is required. Yes, finally. I got into the bedroom to sort, fold, and hang clean clothes. I have the underwear section sorted. I have from 36s to 40s, water can really add up in a hurry. I may have that more under control but for now I will keep it all. In a year, sooner if one water pill works out, the bigger size(s) will go.
Still, I had shirts, shorts, pj's, jeans, and pants to sort. They had mostly been sorted, but a refresh seemed prudent. As well, I went through shirts, to look for holes, age, and spots. I have worked on spots as possible. I have given up on any remaining. So a bunch of shirts are gone. I will replace a few. Fewer, in better condition, plus a few extra new in bagged reserves.
So, yes. Actually quite a little effort before I even started. Technically speaking, since none of that was on my list. As well, dirty laundry was gathered from the bedroom and bathroom, and taken back. Then I grabbed the clean clothes from back there and brought them to be sorted... after my break. I did fold and put away or hang the clean clothes already in the bedroom. They were mostly done as was. Less than I had remembered. I suspect I was doing a few items here and there without remembering?
The girls have been fed, their water refreshed, if I am behind with their litter. I should be able to get bedding changed and dirty clothes started. Dishes will get at least one shot, some of it dried and put up. And a shower before resetting those, then laundry. As well, trash will be... at least bins will be bagged and a bag or two collected.
Yeah, I think so, and tonight. I would be quite pleased to have a good start, fresh bedding, and a shower. It would definitely set tomorrow up for a real solid second hit. Ugh. There are still solid pains. I am working through exhaustion. But I can. I am. Oh, perhaps a meal while I break. Just a fatted tea, but fine enough. Later.
I may not have a sister but I do have a cousin? If even that isn't as it appears.
.
Not much. It took a while to start. I am not done yet, if a break is required. Yes, finally. I got into the bedroom to sort, fold, and hang clean clothes. I have the underwear section sorted. I have from 36s to 40s, water can really add up in a hurry. I may have that more under control but for now I will keep it all. In a year, sooner if one water pill works out, the bigger size(s) will go.
Still, I had shirts, shorts, pj's, jeans, and pants to sort. They had mostly been sorted, but a refresh seemed prudent. As well, I went through shirts, to look for holes, age, and spots. I have worked on spots as possible. I have given up on any remaining. So a bunch of shirts are gone. I will replace a few. Fewer, in better condition, plus a few extra new in bagged reserves.
So, yes. Actually quite a little effort before I even started. Technically speaking, since none of that was on my list. As well, dirty laundry was gathered from the bedroom and bathroom, and taken back. Then I grabbed the clean clothes from back there and brought them to be sorted... after my break. I did fold and put away or hang the clean clothes already in the bedroom. They were mostly done as was. Less than I had remembered. I suspect I was doing a few items here and there without remembering?
The girls have been fed, their water refreshed, if I am behind with their litter. I should be able to get bedding changed and dirty clothes started. Dishes will get at least one shot, some of it dried and put up. And a shower before resetting those, then laundry. As well, trash will be... at least bins will be bagged and a bag or two collected.
Yeah, I think so, and tonight. I would be quite pleased to have a good start, fresh bedding, and a shower. It would definitely set tomorrow up for a real solid second hit. Ugh. There are still solid pains. I am working through exhaustion. But I can. I am. Oh, perhaps a meal while I break. Just a fatted tea, but fine enough. Later.
I may not have a sister but I do have a cousin? If even that isn't as it appears.
Wednesday, May 15, 2019
All messed up.
.
.
Sleep is completely off track. A few to six or seven hours asleep, after every four to thirty hours up. It isn't making sense. Meds, except insulin, is going down correctly. I will try to figure out insulin, which requires figuring out meals. I still have my list of chores. I must push through. Today? Today.
My ribs hurt, my organs are bound, bruised, troubled. Even so, I am planning to do laundry and dishes today, plus a shower between the next load of dishes. The cave is open so as to air out. Oh, and all of the hens are brooding. Poor drake is probably on a strict limit. And those ladies have no fear of me, plus they gang up. He can hope for a great father's day!
Rough, confusing, distorted, but... oddly feeling good on the inside. Odd, but okay. Far better than feeling horrible on top of the rest. It takes going through a lot of serious pain to become able to relax and enjoy life while your guts feel as if compressed in some torture device, ribs feel bruised, days and nights are so confused even 24 hour time pieces only occasionally help understand what part of the day it is.
I really do feel good, as a being. Oddly, most of the time, I would be good company. No matter how much I hurt, how sleepy I might be. I think it actually started with learning to let Christ teach forgiveness. I thought forgiving others came first, but it didn't, not for me. If it doesn't start at home it can't really happen.
Of course forgiveness isn't what it seems. If it is a sin, and you do it, just letting it go won't work. As I have mentioned, the road back from hell is so very difficult because first you have to accept that your sins are such, then reject those, and really then stop doing them. Even that is no guarantee.
Forgiveness is a complicated series of actions which begin with understanding sin, figuring out yours, working to separate yourself from them, and then letting Jesus' sacrifice cover for those. Anything else just won't do. Once you go there, and learn to live there, life is far easier. Perfection? No. But you had better damn well try. If you do, you often end up dealing with similar folk.
Anyway... Doing as well as I am as rough as I am, I will try to get some things done tonight. Wish me well in my endeavors? Later.
.
Sleep is completely off track. A few to six or seven hours asleep, after every four to thirty hours up. It isn't making sense. Meds, except insulin, is going down correctly. I will try to figure out insulin, which requires figuring out meals. I still have my list of chores. I must push through. Today? Today.
My ribs hurt, my organs are bound, bruised, troubled. Even so, I am planning to do laundry and dishes today, plus a shower between the next load of dishes. The cave is open so as to air out. Oh, and all of the hens are brooding. Poor drake is probably on a strict limit. And those ladies have no fear of me, plus they gang up. He can hope for a great father's day!
Rough, confusing, distorted, but... oddly feeling good on the inside. Odd, but okay. Far better than feeling horrible on top of the rest. It takes going through a lot of serious pain to become able to relax and enjoy life while your guts feel as if compressed in some torture device, ribs feel bruised, days and nights are so confused even 24 hour time pieces only occasionally help understand what part of the day it is.
I really do feel good, as a being. Oddly, most of the time, I would be good company. No matter how much I hurt, how sleepy I might be. I think it actually started with learning to let Christ teach forgiveness. I thought forgiving others came first, but it didn't, not for me. If it doesn't start at home it can't really happen.
Of course forgiveness isn't what it seems. If it is a sin, and you do it, just letting it go won't work. As I have mentioned, the road back from hell is so very difficult because first you have to accept that your sins are such, then reject those, and really then stop doing them. Even that is no guarantee.
Forgiveness is a complicated series of actions which begin with understanding sin, figuring out yours, working to separate yourself from them, and then letting Jesus' sacrifice cover for those. Anything else just won't do. Once you go there, and learn to live there, life is far easier. Perfection? No. But you had better damn well try. If you do, you often end up dealing with similar folk.
Anyway... Doing as well as I am as rough as I am, I will try to get some things done tonight. Wish me well in my endeavors? Later.
Tuesday, May 14, 2019
Masks.
.
.
My posts have pulled memories from others. They, in turn, have plucked the chords upon which those memories where more fully developed. And, so, I put them together in a way not yet performed, colluding with recent writs, adding old music to the newer songs, finishing a story line that only seems new to those who didn't understand.
.
My posts have pulled memories from others. They, in turn, have plucked the chords upon which those memories where more fully developed. And, so, I put them together in a way not yet performed, colluding with recent writs, adding old music to the newer songs, finishing a story line that only seems new to those who didn't understand.
Better, in a horrible way.
.
.
I am feeling better, that is to say, in spite of feeling worse. While my lower abdomen innards feel knotted and bound, with occasional light side wall muscle spasms, I generally have a better sense to life. Serenity. I don't write the story, not all of it. I can emphasize aspects, when I can. In this case, these are just the facts.
Blood sugar is high. An experiment, this time. Some frozen potato products can be used, some not so much, if volume and frequency play a part. I was testing a brand that can work with a variation of products. It was a total failure. Technically the same carbs, macros really. It's the processing that makes the difference.
With diabetes off because of sleep issues, I decided to experiment. I may have another couple of potential sources of higher blood sugar. I am eating right (other than the experiment, if that only after there was already a problem), if not able to eat as often as suggested... I just can't eat three meals a day. I'll try something else... much smaller meals. Even fatted teas will be reduced to a couple cups, and regular tea will be reduced. Three meals a day is too much? Who knew.
I have reduced the water pill to one a day, as a trial. I will have to reduce liquid intake to make that work. It has already been reduced to get it down to two pills... successfully so far. If my heart is better, I may not need a water pill at all, in time. I couldn't just drop it cold turkey though. I have had to reduce intake, then medicine, in a tiered reduction. As thw water pills have been reduced, potassium was also lowered as advised. There are physiological and real psychological involvements. I think it is working out.
Cats are fed, ducks soon. I may need a nap first? I was down at 4:00 or later, up by 10:00 or so. Trouble sleeping, if the girls were begging for food this morning. I fed them later, their second meal, before bedtime. And they had dry... perhaps it wasn't food? Twerps, but I don't mind. Yeah, a nap. Later.
.
I am feeling better, that is to say, in spite of feeling worse. While my lower abdomen innards feel knotted and bound, with occasional light side wall muscle spasms, I generally have a better sense to life. Serenity. I don't write the story, not all of it. I can emphasize aspects, when I can. In this case, these are just the facts.
Blood sugar is high. An experiment, this time. Some frozen potato products can be used, some not so much, if volume and frequency play a part. I was testing a brand that can work with a variation of products. It was a total failure. Technically the same carbs, macros really. It's the processing that makes the difference.
With diabetes off because of sleep issues, I decided to experiment. I may have another couple of potential sources of higher blood sugar. I am eating right (other than the experiment, if that only after there was already a problem), if not able to eat as often as suggested... I just can't eat three meals a day. I'll try something else... much smaller meals. Even fatted teas will be reduced to a couple cups, and regular tea will be reduced. Three meals a day is too much? Who knew.
I have reduced the water pill to one a day, as a trial. I will have to reduce liquid intake to make that work. It has already been reduced to get it down to two pills... successfully so far. If my heart is better, I may not need a water pill at all, in time. I couldn't just drop it cold turkey though. I have had to reduce intake, then medicine, in a tiered reduction. As thw water pills have been reduced, potassium was also lowered as advised. There are physiological and real psychological involvements. I think it is working out.
Cats are fed, ducks soon. I may need a nap first? I was down at 4:00 or later, up by 10:00 or so. Trouble sleeping, if the girls were begging for food this morning. I fed them later, their second meal, before bedtime. And they had dry... perhaps it wasn't food? Twerps, but I don't mind. Yeah, a nap. Later.
Monday, May 13, 2019
I'm in such bad shape.
.
.
Why? I reviewed insulin... all medicine. Actually I am taking it correctly. I reviewed my diet. Both from memory, yet I am confident in the memory by comparing memory to things which could be, were, verified. Not an absolute guarantee but three different topics and times were able to be shown true, some actually over periods of time. I have been doing well. The thing that is off is sleep.
Some days I am being awake eighteen to twenty eight hours. Sometimes I get a nap if usually not. My actual sleep cycles can be in the five to six hour frames, if usually seven hours. I, personally, would rather eight, even to twelve, hours of sleep, especially when my days run out of control the long way. I simply don't have control.
Now, at least I probably know why diabetes is higher. What else I am controlling is keeping blood sugar in the low 200s. Until sleep and wakefulness can be limited, or my body acclimate, or a comprise of those two, I may just have to hold on. Keeping medicines and food on track is all I can do, but I am doing it rather well, regardless of the givens. It... spring is tough. But this is the first spring I have maintained so well for so long. Now to keep it up to and through summer. If I am pretty sure deep summer will shatter me like a porcelain doll this year. Just... a feeling.
Still, I have the list, and intent. I won't quit even if I can't win today, tomorrow, or... I will keep looking to the list and willing it. Eventually, someday, they may put me in a room with a window to peer through, and I will just... look... Until then I will take what victories I may. I am not finished, not yet.
Later.
.
Why? I reviewed insulin... all medicine. Actually I am taking it correctly. I reviewed my diet. Both from memory, yet I am confident in the memory by comparing memory to things which could be, were, verified. Not an absolute guarantee but three different topics and times were able to be shown true, some actually over periods of time. I have been doing well. The thing that is off is sleep.
Some days I am being awake eighteen to twenty eight hours. Sometimes I get a nap if usually not. My actual sleep cycles can be in the five to six hour frames, if usually seven hours. I, personally, would rather eight, even to twelve, hours of sleep, especially when my days run out of control the long way. I simply don't have control.
Now, at least I probably know why diabetes is higher. What else I am controlling is keeping blood sugar in the low 200s. Until sleep and wakefulness can be limited, or my body acclimate, or a comprise of those two, I may just have to hold on. Keeping medicines and food on track is all I can do, but I am doing it rather well, regardless of the givens. It... spring is tough. But this is the first spring I have maintained so well for so long. Now to keep it up to and through summer. If I am pretty sure deep summer will shatter me like a porcelain doll this year. Just... a feeling.
Still, I have the list, and intent. I won't quit even if I can't win today, tomorrow, or... I will keep looking to the list and willing it. Eventually, someday, they may put me in a room with a window to peer through, and I will just... look... Until then I will take what victories I may. I am not finished, not yet.
Later.
Sunday, May 12, 2019
Mother's Day?
.
.
I thought so. Several sites suggested it. One site said it was on the 14th, but that had to be wrong or the wrong year. Always Sundays. In any case, I planned to call my mother. I kept thinking about it, get distracted, then lose track. Finally called. I was the last of the expected... hoped. I have remembered for the last three to five years, and birthdays. Improved health, as mild as that actually is, was the key.
Nothing else done today. Well, a meal. No work. I may have to nap first. Ugh. I am pretty sure a nap will do. Then to work. Later.
.
I thought so. Several sites suggested it. One site said it was on the 14th, but that had to be wrong or the wrong year. Always Sundays. In any case, I planned to call my mother. I kept thinking about it, get distracted, then lose track. Finally called. I was the last of the expected... hoped. I have remembered for the last three to five years, and birthdays. Improved health, as mild as that actually is, was the key.
Nothing else done today. Well, a meal. No work. I may have to nap first. Ugh. I am pretty sure a nap will do. Then to work. Later.
A late day.
.
.
Awake very late, waking late, moving slow. Ducks and cats first thing. I need to scoop the coop, but not quite today. I have to do a bit of work in the house today. I washed some of the dishes and set some of them back to soaking, some have been dried. Laundry up, bedding changed and that and other laundry set to run, the rest of the dishes, then a shower and shave? We will see.
Blood sugar is up this morning, in the low 200s. Actually it is from not eating enough. As well, too much sucradrops. Without eating I am not using insulin. Bleh. I have to work on that. If all else fails, I will simply have to take a few risks. Frustrating. But then I would rather blood sugar be a bit high than dropping too fast. I will get there.
A bit of roast beef, then putting laundry up... actually bedding changed and all laundry back to the laundry room and started, then clean dry laundry all up. Yeah. It is spring, perhaps changing blankets and the bedspread... replacing those with lighter items while at it. Yeah. I'd really like to hit it, so as to get the coop cleaned and fresh hay in there tomorrow.
Later.
.
Awake very late, waking late, moving slow. Ducks and cats first thing. I need to scoop the coop, but not quite today. I have to do a bit of work in the house today. I washed some of the dishes and set some of them back to soaking, some have been dried. Laundry up, bedding changed and that and other laundry set to run, the rest of the dishes, then a shower and shave? We will see.
Blood sugar is up this morning, in the low 200s. Actually it is from not eating enough. As well, too much sucradrops. Without eating I am not using insulin. Bleh. I have to work on that. If all else fails, I will simply have to take a few risks. Frustrating. But then I would rather blood sugar be a bit high than dropping too fast. I will get there.
A bit of roast beef, then putting laundry up... actually bedding changed and all laundry back to the laundry room and started, then clean dry laundry all up. Yeah. It is spring, perhaps changing blankets and the bedspread... replacing those with lighter items while at it. Yeah. I'd really like to hit it, so as to get the coop cleaned and fresh hay in there tomorrow.
Later.
Saturday, May 11, 2019
That is odd.
.
.
Blood sugar does... can... go up until I eat. But a fifty seven point jump, even watching sucradrop use closely, is unusual. I am hoping 191 is an outlier. Then again, mornings have really tended to spike lately. Being over 150, though, allowed a 10 cc dose of insulin without worry. I am still a bit surprised at that unfacilitated spike.
Fatted tea now, with eggs and sausage and half a raw potato shortly. Then either a nap or work if I can. I turned the furnace up, as it is truly cool still. The ducks and cats have been fed, etc. Oh, and someone delivered a bail of hay! I owe someone. I... am low on cash but there is the future and possibly some other method. I know, I have pushed hard for it, but I am grateful.
As I have been sorting ideas, more things are coming together. Nothing I don't understand. Things some of you don't get. You just don't get it. If some of you, from both sides, choose not to grok. Which actually causes me to doubt some so-called conservatives. Liberals et. al. are too weak to think freely, I know that. If one labels himself conservative, yet refuses to truly consider, they aren't as they suspect. Merely another progressive type, leaning towards the dictates of others for who or what to hate.
I see Chatteau Heartiste has been taken down, probably for calling out Volvo for making a real family advertisement for their vehicles in Europe while creating a vile queer man fake family advertisement for the US. Suggesting the ads are aimed at purchasers, so suggesting what American Volvo buyers are. It was the other blog outlet which did it, if he was there because goolag was already worse. Hop to it, Trump. Tear down the digital walls against American thinkers and build a wall against invaders.
Later.
.
Blood sugar does... can... go up until I eat. But a fifty seven point jump, even watching sucradrop use closely, is unusual. I am hoping 191 is an outlier. Then again, mornings have really tended to spike lately. Being over 150, though, allowed a 10 cc dose of insulin without worry. I am still a bit surprised at that unfacilitated spike.
Fatted tea now, with eggs and sausage and half a raw potato shortly. Then either a nap or work if I can. I turned the furnace up, as it is truly cool still. The ducks and cats have been fed, etc. Oh, and someone delivered a bail of hay! I owe someone. I... am low on cash but there is the future and possibly some other method. I know, I have pushed hard for it, but I am grateful.
As I have been sorting ideas, more things are coming together. Nothing I don't understand. Things some of you don't get. You just don't get it. If some of you, from both sides, choose not to grok. Which actually causes me to doubt some so-called conservatives. Liberals et. al. are too weak to think freely, I know that. If one labels himself conservative, yet refuses to truly consider, they aren't as they suspect. Merely another progressive type, leaning towards the dictates of others for who or what to hate.
I see Chatteau Heartiste has been taken down, probably for calling out Volvo for making a real family advertisement for their vehicles in Europe while creating a vile queer man fake family advertisement for the US. Suggesting the ads are aimed at purchasers, so suggesting what American Volvo buyers are. It was the other blog outlet which did it, if he was there because goolag was already worse. Hop to it, Trump. Tear down the digital walls against American thinkers and build a wall against invaders.
Later.
The experiment has a final result.
.
.
I expected blood sugar would be high today. The insulin brought blood sugar down yesterday, quickly, over a hundred points down. But blood sugar always rises as I sleep, usually by a score, often by various multiples of twenties. I expected multiples. Not so much. The final read last night was 114, 134 is the morning fasting read. And it is the lowest fasting read in the three weeks and day since starting treating diabetes again.
The thing that has me wondering is how much insulin to take. I will test again, in four hours, before eating. But if it is 150 or less I am supposed to drop 2 cc's from the 10 cc's recommended dose. I had been thinking of just lowering by days, or pairs of days... for example, if a reading was below 150 and remained below 150, to just reduce the dose to 8 cc's for the next two days (unless readings dropped below 100 or went back above 150).
I... don't think that is right. Part of the reason I stopped taking insulin was to think on that, as well as curiosity. As is, I have decided to reduce my dose, from 10 cc's, by 2 cc's, every time a premeal reading is below 150. This next meal, if premeal reading is, say, 140, then I inject 8 cc's. If the next premeal reading was 132, I would reduce the previous injection volume from 8 cc's by 2 cc's to 6 cc's. And so on. I won't risk taking too much. I can obviously handle too little. Too much not so much. If it hits 100 or less I won't use any insulin.
After a bit of waking I will attempt to put up all remaining laundry, then hit the dishes. After one wash, I will get a shower and shave if possible. As soon as those are completed I will at least reset dises to whatever sort of soak any particular dishes need. Some may require more washing, others may just need a rinse.
I won't plan anything else, if changing bedding and starting that laundry would be good. I have brots and eggs planned for breaking my fast in about two to three hours, then a bit of beef roast and cabbage later. I need to get tea, then fresh hot tea started. Have a good morning.
.
I expected blood sugar would be high today. The insulin brought blood sugar down yesterday, quickly, over a hundred points down. But blood sugar always rises as I sleep, usually by a score, often by various multiples of twenties. I expected multiples. Not so much. The final read last night was 114, 134 is the morning fasting read. And it is the lowest fasting read in the three weeks and day since starting treating diabetes again.
The thing that has me wondering is how much insulin to take. I will test again, in four hours, before eating. But if it is 150 or less I am supposed to drop 2 cc's from the 10 cc's recommended dose. I had been thinking of just lowering by days, or pairs of days... for example, if a reading was below 150 and remained below 150, to just reduce the dose to 8 cc's for the next two days (unless readings dropped below 100 or went back above 150).
I... don't think that is right. Part of the reason I stopped taking insulin was to think on that, as well as curiosity. As is, I have decided to reduce my dose, from 10 cc's, by 2 cc's, every time a premeal reading is below 150. This next meal, if premeal reading is, say, 140, then I inject 8 cc's. If the next premeal reading was 132, I would reduce the previous injection volume from 8 cc's by 2 cc's to 6 cc's. And so on. I won't risk taking too much. I can obviously handle too little. Too much not so much. If it hits 100 or less I won't use any insulin.
After a bit of waking I will attempt to put up all remaining laundry, then hit the dishes. After one wash, I will get a shower and shave if possible. As soon as those are completed I will at least reset dises to whatever sort of soak any particular dishes need. Some may require more washing, others may just need a rinse.
I won't plan anything else, if changing bedding and starting that laundry would be good. I have brots and eggs planned for breaking my fast in about two to three hours, then a bit of beef roast and cabbage later. I need to get tea, then fresh hot tea started. Have a good morning.
Uhrm. Interesting?
.
.
Who ever knows. Two meals, plus a snack, along with two shots of insulin, and? Blood sugar is 110. Down from 220's and well over all day. Very strange.
I reset dishes. One more soapy soak and they should be ready. They have been setting for weeks, so... I believe a nap, or sleep cycle, then back to the bedroom. I'll hit the dishes after two work times in the bedroom. Hmm, I never did move the full boxes to the spare room. That would be any easy fix before sleep.
I will figure out the world again. I don't think higher blood sugar is all of what can weigh me down, but it is obvious to me it can play a significant role. Especially seeing low to high to low so close together. It is a natural end to my day, so while my mind opens with the low reading, my body needs sleep. What a crazy ride... 110?
.
Who ever knows. Two meals, plus a snack, along with two shots of insulin, and? Blood sugar is 110. Down from 220's and well over all day. Very strange.
I reset dishes. One more soapy soak and they should be ready. They have been setting for weeks, so... I believe a nap, or sleep cycle, then back to the bedroom. I'll hit the dishes after two work times in the bedroom. Hmm, I never did move the full boxes to the spare room. That would be any easy fix before sleep.
I will figure out the world again. I don't think higher blood sugar is all of what can weigh me down, but it is obvious to me it can play a significant role. Especially seeing low to high to low so close together. It is a natural end to my day, so while my mind opens with the low reading, my body needs sleep. What a crazy ride... 110?
Friday, May 10, 2019
An experiment.
.
.
With blood sugar dropping, and since several doses of insulin had been missed, I went ahead and skipped more. Not the best time to try it, while also experimenting with potatoes. Still, if testing, then test. As it turns out, blood sugar jumped to about 225 and stayed there until potatoes, at which point it jumped to 280, as reheated baked potatoes. Raw potatoes I can do. It actually cuts blood sugar. Not so much rebaked potatoes. I will do other experiments, but after lower blood sugar again.
I really had to see about insulin. Still need it for now, if I have to be careful coming down. Yeah, I was getting nervous about how quickly it was dropping. Back to it. I will simply have to be careful. I have been working on dishes, but the rest has been lagging. I will get back to it soon.
Oh, a second of my duck hens has gone broody, crafting a nest and getting defensive. All good. I'll let them, encourage them for now. I may have found a source of a source for straw hay. Possibly. I sure hope so. Then to figure out pens for the brooders. Ducklings are targets of other hens and even the drake potentially.
I would like four more ducks, hopefully the couple I purchased them from want some as well. They lost all their ducks. Actually I had better check. These don't make good meat birds and there are only so many eggs I can use. It is good to see they can go broody though.
It looks like youtube killed my "previously viewed" section. I still have history, for now. Realizing what is coming, and that nothing in the offerings is of any interest, I won't be using them anymore. It looks like the music industry is following the movie industry down the drains. And CNN is a better news source. A few indies of interest, if they can be found. If they wish to further inconvenience potential buyers, they will simply be erased. I don't need them. They do need people. India, China, and other advertising click farm origins don't buy products and even cucked US corps realize, eventually, that advertising dollars are being wasted. The stupider, more anti-white, anti-American, anti-Christian, these cucked corps require their advertising, the higher the third world click farm involvement, which means the fewer purchases per view and dollar spent. Is anybody out there? Sure, if you realize none of them buy, or even could buy.
Later.
.
With blood sugar dropping, and since several doses of insulin had been missed, I went ahead and skipped more. Not the best time to try it, while also experimenting with potatoes. Still, if testing, then test. As it turns out, blood sugar jumped to about 225 and stayed there until potatoes, at which point it jumped to 280, as reheated baked potatoes. Raw potatoes I can do. It actually cuts blood sugar. Not so much rebaked potatoes. I will do other experiments, but after lower blood sugar again.
I really had to see about insulin. Still need it for now, if I have to be careful coming down. Yeah, I was getting nervous about how quickly it was dropping. Back to it. I will simply have to be careful. I have been working on dishes, but the rest has been lagging. I will get back to it soon.
Oh, a second of my duck hens has gone broody, crafting a nest and getting defensive. All good. I'll let them, encourage them for now. I may have found a source of a source for straw hay. Possibly. I sure hope so. Then to figure out pens for the brooders. Ducklings are targets of other hens and even the drake potentially.
I would like four more ducks, hopefully the couple I purchased them from want some as well. They lost all their ducks. Actually I had better check. These don't make good meat birds and there are only so many eggs I can use. It is good to see they can go broody though.
It looks like youtube killed my "previously viewed" section. I still have history, for now. Realizing what is coming, and that nothing in the offerings is of any interest, I won't be using them anymore. It looks like the music industry is following the movie industry down the drains. And CNN is a better news source. A few indies of interest, if they can be found. If they wish to further inconvenience potential buyers, they will simply be erased. I don't need them. They do need people. India, China, and other advertising click farm origins don't buy products and even cucked US corps realize, eventually, that advertising dollars are being wasted. The stupider, more anti-white, anti-American, anti-Christian, these cucked corps require their advertising, the higher the third world click farm involvement, which means the fewer purchases per view and dollar spent. Is anybody out there? Sure, if you realize none of them buy, or even could buy.
Later.
Thursday, May 9, 2019
Some things.
.
.
A load of dishes through, then an early visit. I was expecting one tomorrow. No worries. A bit of a discussion. All good. Then a blood check. Without food or even much to drink, my blood sugar went up to 170. It... just does things. I realize that early blood draws, mostly fasting, often rise. More so, for whatever reason, when the very first fasting blood sugar drops below 150... or at least that is when it will rise above the first fasting blood sugar. No worries. It may remain higher or not.
Breakfast, the first meal of the day, was eggs and reheated potatoes. After seeing that raw potatoes can lower blood sugar, I'd like to see about reheated potatoes. I'm not sure if these were once cooked though, or just blanched or otherwise only partially cooked, so I am baking potatoes to experiment with twice and other multiple baked potatoes. Life is an experiment, food is a portion of life. While man might not live by bread alone, he certainly doesn't live without something. Nor is he called to do so.
The eggs were fantastic. The golden yolks, the firm whites, the flavor and texture of real natural food is unbeatable. As for the tater tots? Well, with garlic powder, salt, a dash of smoked paprika, and salt, it served to sop the orange golden perfect goo, and well. I sure miss real eggs. My question is, why are free range and else store-bought eggs so inferior and more expensive? Back in black.
I set up more dishes and will be getting back to laundry in a short bit. I have two more loads out back, plus a remaining load to put away in the bedroom. I will give the clothes in the wash room fluff time as I get back to work in an hour or so. I need a rest after the meal.
Hmm... I should thaw meats for tomorrow. Brots, to go with mustard and sauerkraut, perhaps a pork roast to go with the rest of the jar of kraut, and a beef roast? Perhaps burger too. All cooked at once for convenience and to save on fuel. I need more charcoal. Maybe an egg casserole with the burger?
I tried a form of instant coffee. Even with glowing reviews I wasn't expecting much. Many reviews are jacked, bought, by people with poor or no taste, company employees anymore... or conversely competitors or haters of one sort or another. Actually? I was impressed. I would say they have learned to make a solid instant coffee. I might have another this eve, maybe with whipped cream topping. I am getting foods and drink ready. Now to find the best price.
While I stalled on doing much more, it was today or tomorrow for the visit, so all good. Further, I can still see space opening. I should do well this afternoon, much more so if I can hit it tomorrow and Saturday. It really is getting done. There is something satisfying about it all, and just being able to work. Yeah, very good. Later.
.
A load of dishes through, then an early visit. I was expecting one tomorrow. No worries. A bit of a discussion. All good. Then a blood check. Without food or even much to drink, my blood sugar went up to 170. It... just does things. I realize that early blood draws, mostly fasting, often rise. More so, for whatever reason, when the very first fasting blood sugar drops below 150... or at least that is when it will rise above the first fasting blood sugar. No worries. It may remain higher or not.
Breakfast, the first meal of the day, was eggs and reheated potatoes. After seeing that raw potatoes can lower blood sugar, I'd like to see about reheated potatoes. I'm not sure if these were once cooked though, or just blanched or otherwise only partially cooked, so I am baking potatoes to experiment with twice and other multiple baked potatoes. Life is an experiment, food is a portion of life. While man might not live by bread alone, he certainly doesn't live without something. Nor is he called to do so.
The eggs were fantastic. The golden yolks, the firm whites, the flavor and texture of real natural food is unbeatable. As for the tater tots? Well, with garlic powder, salt, a dash of smoked paprika, and salt, it served to sop the orange golden perfect goo, and well. I sure miss real eggs. My question is, why are free range and else store-bought eggs so inferior and more expensive? Back in black.
I set up more dishes and will be getting back to laundry in a short bit. I have two more loads out back, plus a remaining load to put away in the bedroom. I will give the clothes in the wash room fluff time as I get back to work in an hour or so. I need a rest after the meal.
Hmm... I should thaw meats for tomorrow. Brots, to go with mustard and sauerkraut, perhaps a pork roast to go with the rest of the jar of kraut, and a beef roast? Perhaps burger too. All cooked at once for convenience and to save on fuel. I need more charcoal. Maybe an egg casserole with the burger?
I tried a form of instant coffee. Even with glowing reviews I wasn't expecting much. Many reviews are jacked, bought, by people with poor or no taste, company employees anymore... or conversely competitors or haters of one sort or another. Actually? I was impressed. I would say they have learned to make a solid instant coffee. I might have another this eve, maybe with whipped cream topping. I am getting foods and drink ready. Now to find the best price.
While I stalled on doing much more, it was today or tomorrow for the visit, so all good. Further, I can still see space opening. I should do well this afternoon, much more so if I can hit it tomorrow and Saturday. It really is getting done. There is something satisfying about it all, and just being able to work. Yeah, very good. Later.
Not bad, not at all.
.
.
Part of the difficulty with work is that I can only work in small little packages. Eating, I have woefully come to realize, is another form of work. It uses scant energy, even if to produce fuel. If an effort is made to reduce the demands of that process then I end up short of fuel. While work can be done with insufficiency, I am already running a twenty to thirty percent caloric deficit. Trying to swing more gets dirty and failure in much decreased runtimes and recovery rates ensures.
So, eating has to occur, in sufficient volumes to consider even it work, on top of 'real work'. Yeah. However, in spite of that, I worked rather well yesterday. Three hours and change, not including meals. I really cleared a few areas. Even straightening a food cupboard. I liked that. However, I think I will make my side effort doing dishes, then go back to a cupboard every other day. That way I can wash the cupboards as I go.
Anyway. Today is back to the room, and of course dishes. The rest of laundry, setting aside clothes for the ragbag, and sifting and tossing on the side. Increments seem to be thirty minutes to an hour with an hour or two down. Perhaps that ratio will improve in time, if only over stretches of time, probably long stretches.
I was quite surprised waking occurred so, relatively, early. Bedtime was shortly after 7:00, waking at noon thirty or a bit earlier. I didn't believe I would wake well or early, this early. Not only awake incredibly early but in good spirits and form to hit it in a few hours.
Fasting blood sugar is a comparative dream at 145, a sixteen point drop from yesterday, and the first sub-150 fasting read. There is something good about sub-200 fasting reads, for the ego. But there is something biomechanically significant about sub-150 fasting readings. My insulin reception, reaction to occasional carb spikes, and general feel all becomes different. I am back in the healthy zone. Now to get fasting to sub-100, then eat to keep it there. Insulin shots? Yes, but down to 6 cc's, 4 cc's if... I'll be proceeding with caution. Blood sugars aren't slipping down, they are cratering.
A nice morning. I am excited to get started in a couple hours. Oh, if clothes get managed, and dishes started, then boxes can begin being broken down. I have a bunch to bust all lined up. Yeah, that will make a huge difference. It definitely boosts the ego and drive to see swathes of area cleared. So much easier to push on. A trick is to hit big things, then clear a smaller flat surface, mix and match, to get the boost without requiring huge energy dumps for every ego bump or impetus boost.
My mother called. I'll see if she is around. Later.
.
Part of the difficulty with work is that I can only work in small little packages. Eating, I have woefully come to realize, is another form of work. It uses scant energy, even if to produce fuel. If an effort is made to reduce the demands of that process then I end up short of fuel. While work can be done with insufficiency, I am already running a twenty to thirty percent caloric deficit. Trying to swing more gets dirty and failure in much decreased runtimes and recovery rates ensures.
So, eating has to occur, in sufficient volumes to consider even it work, on top of 'real work'. Yeah. However, in spite of that, I worked rather well yesterday. Three hours and change, not including meals. I really cleared a few areas. Even straightening a food cupboard. I liked that. However, I think I will make my side effort doing dishes, then go back to a cupboard every other day. That way I can wash the cupboards as I go.
Anyway. Today is back to the room, and of course dishes. The rest of laundry, setting aside clothes for the ragbag, and sifting and tossing on the side. Increments seem to be thirty minutes to an hour with an hour or two down. Perhaps that ratio will improve in time, if only over stretches of time, probably long stretches.
I was quite surprised waking occurred so, relatively, early. Bedtime was shortly after 7:00, waking at noon thirty or a bit earlier. I didn't believe I would wake well or early, this early. Not only awake incredibly early but in good spirits and form to hit it in a few hours.
Fasting blood sugar is a comparative dream at 145, a sixteen point drop from yesterday, and the first sub-150 fasting read. There is something good about sub-200 fasting reads, for the ego. But there is something biomechanically significant about sub-150 fasting readings. My insulin reception, reaction to occasional carb spikes, and general feel all becomes different. I am back in the healthy zone. Now to get fasting to sub-100, then eat to keep it there. Insulin shots? Yes, but down to 6 cc's, 4 cc's if... I'll be proceeding with caution. Blood sugars aren't slipping down, they are cratering.
A nice morning. I am excited to get started in a couple hours. Oh, if clothes get managed, and dishes started, then boxes can begin being broken down. I have a bunch to bust all lined up. Yeah, that will make a huge difference. It definitely boosts the ego and drive to see swathes of area cleared. So much easier to push on. A trick is to hit big things, then clear a smaller flat surface, mix and match, to get the boost without requiring huge energy dumps for every ego bump or impetus boost.
My mother called. I'll see if she is around. Later.
A good start.
.
.
Not as much as had been planned and a lot more. There was far more between getting the planned operations and what ended up completed than thought. Straight lines versus the curvature of the earth, only more. I didn't even get all the laundry put up. I did get two and part of a third basket up. I got my underwear section organized while at it. Had to remove undershirts and socks and figure a new or temporary place for those. It had gotten all wrong.
As well, I had other things to order and organize, while sorting things out for trash or rags. More, as I collect and sort, then use items, I will begin eyeing those items prejudicially with an emphasis on removal. I will create a rag bag, but I need to limit even that. Yeah. I think my world may be breaking open to seriously solid new opportunities.
Far from perfect, but amazingly closer than when I started. Sore, tired, but hoping to continue tomorrow and Saturday before several days down. Blood sugar was 114 then 123 as a final read. It is getting there. Actually I think I forgot insulin save for my first meal? Yes. Crazy. But work can lower the number. Not always if more often by far than not. The 7-day average is 166, the 14-day average is 175.
It looks like youtube has broken. Oh well. I wonder if just for some of us. That would be my guess. It may just be down for maintenance, but it doesn't look like it to me.
Good night.
.
Not as much as had been planned and a lot more. There was far more between getting the planned operations and what ended up completed than thought. Straight lines versus the curvature of the earth, only more. I didn't even get all the laundry put up. I did get two and part of a third basket up. I got my underwear section organized while at it. Had to remove undershirts and socks and figure a new or temporary place for those. It had gotten all wrong.
As well, I had other things to order and organize, while sorting things out for trash or rags. More, as I collect and sort, then use items, I will begin eyeing those items prejudicially with an emphasis on removal. I will create a rag bag, but I need to limit even that. Yeah. I think my world may be breaking open to seriously solid new opportunities.
Far from perfect, but amazingly closer than when I started. Sore, tired, but hoping to continue tomorrow and Saturday before several days down. Blood sugar was 114 then 123 as a final read. It is getting there. Actually I think I forgot insulin save for my first meal? Yes. Crazy. But work can lower the number. Not always if more often by far than not. The 7-day average is 166, the 14-day average is 175.
It looks like youtube has broken. Oh well. I wonder if just for some of us. That would be my guess. It may just be down for maintenance, but it doesn't look like it to me.
Good night.
A jalapeno and tuna salad.
.
.
A jalapeno and tuna salad? I don't stutter. That and a can of spicy vienna sausages. It wasn't great, and I meant to grab plain vienna sausages. Probably much better blistered over a fire. Not exactly a super meal but keto friendly, enough, and just barely good enough.
Further, I reorganized one of my cabinets so as to remove foods I don't like or don't eat, filling those shelves with the packable trail foods and snacks. They aren't great tasting, but when hungry, will do as snacks or meal additives. Trail meals are rather lacking, especially for biggens. Doubling is too much food, too expensive, and weight prohibitive... these things just add a few more needed bites.
Food, at home or on the trail, for me, is no longer primarily about taste. Once in a while, sure. But food is now about energy, nutrition, function. Even on keto, I have to limit pleasure. Keto helps, but I have to do my part. That means eating whatever it takes to win. That will often require boring food, and often more than I want (of the boring food). And weight loss has become a part of the lead targets. Diabetes and weight loss, now, are equal aims. Which means weighing twice a week, say Monday and Friday?
I have now had three work periods of about two hours. I am hoping for enough more time at work to get clean clothes folded or hung and put away. We will see. All of it has been sorted, some of it folded, but there is a lot of it. If I can get it done, I will shower and change the bedding again. Yeah. Getting things done.
I definitely have boxes to break down. As well, a lot of packing material to pop, compress, and bag. I am surprised at what has happened. Work is moving right along. Of course there is so very much to do... as with climbing, if you fear heights, looking down is ill advised. In my situation, looking around is what is dangerous. Work everywhere... fear inducing volumes of work.
A bit of gaming as aspirin hopefully begins to relieve knots. Then more work and a shower. A fresh bed and shower would make tomorrow an easier work day. Later.
.
A jalapeno and tuna salad? I don't stutter. That and a can of spicy vienna sausages. It wasn't great, and I meant to grab plain vienna sausages. Probably much better blistered over a fire. Not exactly a super meal but keto friendly, enough, and just barely good enough.
Further, I reorganized one of my cabinets so as to remove foods I don't like or don't eat, filling those shelves with the packable trail foods and snacks. They aren't great tasting, but when hungry, will do as snacks or meal additives. Trail meals are rather lacking, especially for biggens. Doubling is too much food, too expensive, and weight prohibitive... these things just add a few more needed bites.
Food, at home or on the trail, for me, is no longer primarily about taste. Once in a while, sure. But food is now about energy, nutrition, function. Even on keto, I have to limit pleasure. Keto helps, but I have to do my part. That means eating whatever it takes to win. That will often require boring food, and often more than I want (of the boring food). And weight loss has become a part of the lead targets. Diabetes and weight loss, now, are equal aims. Which means weighing twice a week, say Monday and Friday?
I have now had three work periods of about two hours. I am hoping for enough more time at work to get clean clothes folded or hung and put away. We will see. All of it has been sorted, some of it folded, but there is a lot of it. If I can get it done, I will shower and change the bedding again. Yeah. Getting things done.
I definitely have boxes to break down. As well, a lot of packing material to pop, compress, and bag. I am surprised at what has happened. Work is moving right along. Of course there is so very much to do... as with climbing, if you fear heights, looking down is ill advised. In my situation, looking around is what is dangerous. Work everywhere... fear inducing volumes of work.
A bit of gaming as aspirin hopefully begins to relieve knots. Then more work and a shower. A fresh bed and shower would make tomorrow an easier work day. Later.
Wednesday, May 8, 2019
It isn't working.
.
.
I can't find my smaller pack. The place is rather rough though. So I am just going to dig in by digging out. I started in my room. Thankfully I have plenty of boxes. Nothing is well organized as is. Everything will have to be roughly sorted. After enough is tossed, then much will need to be reorganized.
Some boxes will be broken down in the process. Too big, too small, odd shaped, those must go. I have no idea about priority, though perhaps that will make sense in time. As is, I am packing as possible while setting unusable boxes off to the side until there are enough... or too many in the way, then tearing them down.
It will take a while. I think, if I can hit three to five hours every other day, a week could see a much better situation, and probably a lost pack. Two weeks would make the place nearly righteous. I do have my big pack, which can be taken down to a tiny day pack, doubled, or with the main pack alone as a major pack, or completely collected into a massive pack which can easily carry 150 to 200 pounds of gear, if one was capable and so inclined. I'll begin breaking that down and reorganizing it... or just organizing gear outside of the pack for better loading as I get closer to going? Yeah.
I wanted to do this anyway. While I didn't order the dumpster, and won't for two months, not until mid-July, I can gladly have boxes ready to load, getting one delivery immediately, and another and hopefully the last out by very early August. A few chairs and a lot of... other stuff. Maybe an old bed if possible. Ugh.
If I can't get out, it is time to get hella busy. A few more work periods in the room tonight, then on through to Saturday. I will probably crash Sunday, maybe Monday too. If my health is actually improving, I should be able to dig in for several days next week, and per run. We will see.
I've got to figure something out for dinner. Country eggs are back on the menu. So much better. Sure, duck eggs, but I am trying to let the ladies figure out brooding, and I desperately need hay. So, until that is sorted, I am stuck not using those. So I was pleased to see the arrival of real eggs. The others, store bought but free range, have improved, but they just aren't farm fresh.
---------
Ha! I was writing, then something caught my attention, then I got lost in work. Almost an hour. Five boxes filled, a bunch of empty boxes sorted, most to be broken down. I hurt my back with all the bending and lifting. A break, then I will get those boxes moved out to the spare room. A few baskets of clean clothes to sort, which would both resupply clothes... I had thought I was somehow out... open a lot of space... and really get me set for more work.
As I work through, I should get to a point where the extra standing closet and wire shelving can be installed. Gotta happen. Though, once things are opened, I may not need that much extra space. If not, I may put those in other rooms where the space would be needed. As an example, put it all upstairs for organizing camping gear.
Blood sugar is 136. The reading earlier was 237, but as low as fasting and now, I have doubts. This meter, or the strips, seem to go wonky every fifth to tenth read. It is better than it used to be, but just off.
I do need to eat. Not sure what. Chia and flax is fast and easy, but doesn't sound good. A tuna salad? Bleh, but maybe. After laundry is up, a shower. I shaved yesterday, so that is still excellent. Yeah. We will get there. Ugh though. Just... ugh. Later.
.
I can't find my smaller pack. The place is rather rough though. So I am just going to dig in by digging out. I started in my room. Thankfully I have plenty of boxes. Nothing is well organized as is. Everything will have to be roughly sorted. After enough is tossed, then much will need to be reorganized.
Some boxes will be broken down in the process. Too big, too small, odd shaped, those must go. I have no idea about priority, though perhaps that will make sense in time. As is, I am packing as possible while setting unusable boxes off to the side until there are enough... or too many in the way, then tearing them down.
It will take a while. I think, if I can hit three to five hours every other day, a week could see a much better situation, and probably a lost pack. Two weeks would make the place nearly righteous. I do have my big pack, which can be taken down to a tiny day pack, doubled, or with the main pack alone as a major pack, or completely collected into a massive pack which can easily carry 150 to 200 pounds of gear, if one was capable and so inclined. I'll begin breaking that down and reorganizing it... or just organizing gear outside of the pack for better loading as I get closer to going? Yeah.
I wanted to do this anyway. While I didn't order the dumpster, and won't for two months, not until mid-July, I can gladly have boxes ready to load, getting one delivery immediately, and another and hopefully the last out by very early August. A few chairs and a lot of... other stuff. Maybe an old bed if possible. Ugh.
If I can't get out, it is time to get hella busy. A few more work periods in the room tonight, then on through to Saturday. I will probably crash Sunday, maybe Monday too. If my health is actually improving, I should be able to dig in for several days next week, and per run. We will see.
I've got to figure something out for dinner. Country eggs are back on the menu. So much better. Sure, duck eggs, but I am trying to let the ladies figure out brooding, and I desperately need hay. So, until that is sorted, I am stuck not using those. So I was pleased to see the arrival of real eggs. The others, store bought but free range, have improved, but they just aren't farm fresh.
---------
Ha! I was writing, then something caught my attention, then I got lost in work. Almost an hour. Five boxes filled, a bunch of empty boxes sorted, most to be broken down. I hurt my back with all the bending and lifting. A break, then I will get those boxes moved out to the spare room. A few baskets of clean clothes to sort, which would both resupply clothes... I had thought I was somehow out... open a lot of space... and really get me set for more work.
As I work through, I should get to a point where the extra standing closet and wire shelving can be installed. Gotta happen. Though, once things are opened, I may not need that much extra space. If not, I may put those in other rooms where the space would be needed. As an example, put it all upstairs for organizing camping gear.
Blood sugar is 136. The reading earlier was 237, but as low as fasting and now, I have doubts. This meter, or the strips, seem to go wonky every fifth to tenth read. It is better than it used to be, but just off.
I do need to eat. Not sure what. Chia and flax is fast and easy, but doesn't sound good. A tuna salad? Bleh, but maybe. After laundry is up, a shower. I shaved yesterday, so that is still excellent. Yeah. We will get there. Ugh though. Just... ugh. Later.
Strange and good collide?
.
.
To bed by midnight thirty, up, mostly, at 6:30. I didn't actually get out of bed officially until 7:15 or a bit before. I went to the bathroom, then tried to go back to sleep. It just wouldn't happen. Then the girls decided to knock. I shut them out last night. If they can't get me to grant them entrance then they try to get me to wake. I can't believe I was able to wake so early.
Blood sugar is very good, 161 fasting. A seventeen point drop from yesterday morning. I wasn't sure after what I ate yesterday. I had a lettuce wrap burger, which is keto, but also fries. No soda. Still, I suspected that would severely set me back. I tried a can of hot and spicy vienna sausages for supper (canned mini hotdogs in slightly spiced weak tomato sauce, really). It is under consideration as trail snack or meal supplemental food... high fat, medium protein, few carbs. Not fantastic but it will do.
A bit on the groggy side. To be expected. I hope to get my gear together today. I only want rain gear and hiking clothes, a simple grouping of cooking kit and foods, and a few minor other pieces of gear plus three days rations to get an idea about weight and stowage. While I have hiking boots, I may change to trail runners for longer treks. For now though, just hikers.
I am hoping to get to my list as well, house cleaning. We'll see. Oh, I missed medicine last night. Not worried, less than once every other month. Later.
.
To bed by midnight thirty, up, mostly, at 6:30. I didn't actually get out of bed officially until 7:15 or a bit before. I went to the bathroom, then tried to go back to sleep. It just wouldn't happen. Then the girls decided to knock. I shut them out last night. If they can't get me to grant them entrance then they try to get me to wake. I can't believe I was able to wake so early.
Blood sugar is very good, 161 fasting. A seventeen point drop from yesterday morning. I wasn't sure after what I ate yesterday. I had a lettuce wrap burger, which is keto, but also fries. No soda. Still, I suspected that would severely set me back. I tried a can of hot and spicy vienna sausages for supper (canned mini hotdogs in slightly spiced weak tomato sauce, really). It is under consideration as trail snack or meal supplemental food... high fat, medium protein, few carbs. Not fantastic but it will do.
A bit on the groggy side. To be expected. I hope to get my gear together today. I only want rain gear and hiking clothes, a simple grouping of cooking kit and foods, and a few minor other pieces of gear plus three days rations to get an idea about weight and stowage. While I have hiking boots, I may change to trail runners for longer treks. For now though, just hikers.
I am hoping to get to my list as well, house cleaning. We'll see. Oh, I missed medicine last night. Not worried, less than once every other month. Later.
Tuesday, May 7, 2019
The problem.
.
.
At least one solution. When hiking for longer periods, while trying to do keto, fat is a problem. One fat, certainly, that holds up to outdoor conditions... to some degree or another... is ghee. It is expensive to buy, but reasonably priced to make. And, actually, making it yourself is the only way to be sure what is actually in it. I have ordered a mid and higher priced container of it to find it had other oils in them (other oils are cheaper, weren't listed on the labels but you can tell by stratospheric pooling).
I would guess superior lard and tallow would work for shorter runs. As well, coconut oil would work. Variety is necessary. Package and send certain staples, or have someone send them, to keep some stock, or all. I would guess trying to buy food out there would be ridiculously expensive. It's bad enough on Amazon.
Now, that is fats. For general foods, for keto, I think I will need to dehydrate my own foods. Jerky is okay, but has too much salt for all meals. Dehydrated steamed ground meats, with as absolutely much fat removed, some canned meats, mre's (rarely), and freeze dried meals (rarely), should work. To get enough food prepped, boxed, and ready to send?
Yes, I am considering a few weeks to a month or two out. Perhaps as a gift for escaping diabetes. If I can beat it. I have everything I would need. Humping the hills? I suppose hunger, facing starvation, would be a factor. I would definitely want to see myself prove capacity. Only in Utah though. Perhaps Idaho? It would depend on a few things. Yeah, just thinking as I plan to get going on my first hike soon. I will get my small pack ready tomorrow.
Oh, pedicure today. It's always a good thing. I may need that less. I'm thinking on it. It is quite relaxing. But my skin has healed and lotion is truly keeping my body in good straights. I'll see how tough summer is on them, and hiking as well as swimming. Those will happen. Later... or good night.
.
At least one solution. When hiking for longer periods, while trying to do keto, fat is a problem. One fat, certainly, that holds up to outdoor conditions... to some degree or another... is ghee. It is expensive to buy, but reasonably priced to make. And, actually, making it yourself is the only way to be sure what is actually in it. I have ordered a mid and higher priced container of it to find it had other oils in them (other oils are cheaper, weren't listed on the labels but you can tell by stratospheric pooling).
I would guess superior lard and tallow would work for shorter runs. As well, coconut oil would work. Variety is necessary. Package and send certain staples, or have someone send them, to keep some stock, or all. I would guess trying to buy food out there would be ridiculously expensive. It's bad enough on Amazon.
Now, that is fats. For general foods, for keto, I think I will need to dehydrate my own foods. Jerky is okay, but has too much salt for all meals. Dehydrated steamed ground meats, with as absolutely much fat removed, some canned meats, mre's (rarely), and freeze dried meals (rarely), should work. To get enough food prepped, boxed, and ready to send?
Yes, I am considering a few weeks to a month or two out. Perhaps as a gift for escaping diabetes. If I can beat it. I have everything I would need. Humping the hills? I suppose hunger, facing starvation, would be a factor. I would definitely want to see myself prove capacity. Only in Utah though. Perhaps Idaho? It would depend on a few things. Yeah, just thinking as I plan to get going on my first hike soon. I will get my small pack ready tomorrow.
Oh, pedicure today. It's always a good thing. I may need that less. I'm thinking on it. It is quite relaxing. But my skin has healed and lotion is truly keeping my body in good straights. I'll see how tough summer is on them, and hiking as well as swimming. Those will happen. Later... or good night.
The first hard morning in a while.
.
.
Ever gone for an extended swim, run, or such when you are out of shape? Or stretched your routine just enough to dig in? That whinge in your side that goes deep, when you do it right? Not the little one which passes almost as soon as you stop, or fully catch your breath, but the one that is going to stay with you a week... you just know from experience? Right. Well, that is everything from the ribs down.
Oh, I have definitely had worse. This almost feels like that gassy bloat, on the medium to high level, but in every organ. I almost suspect the coconut flour. Maybe. My only drawbacks to that suspicion are that the bloat seems to be everywhere (which can be countered by one area actually expanding enough to push into other areas), and that it took so long after the meal to manifest (possibly countered by my not doing anything to place demands on digestion, so it wasn't activated very quickly).
I don't know yet. After Drano, even so long ago, my body... doesn't react completely normally. No complaints, just an understanding. I think, if it isn't sure about something, it quarantines it. Really really. I think that is what it is doing. I sort of know, from experience. Due to my and other abuses, my body is not my own, and will act in, on, it's own behalf. I have learned, if I wish to participate, to... acquiesce. Yes, my body used to be able to shut me out. What it did on it's own? I will probably never know, if I think, like any dying animal, it just sought a dark, warm, safe place to hide and curl up. We have been dying fast most of the last thirty years, after all.
Blood sugar right out of the gate is 178, down five from yesterday morning, which was down seventeen from the previous day, which itself was down five from the day before. A very solid, steady, decline, with only one reversal since restarting the process, if of only three points. I'll gladly take it. I will still have to take 10 cc's unless it drops a lot before breakfast.
Oh, I read or saw somewhere that chia seeds were like soy, anti-androgenic... or worse. I can't recall the source because I shut it down in fear and loathing. Believe what you may. And while I may play a good, or bad, game on the edges, truth is, there is no actual there, there. So... I was far more disturbed by the notion than you are by my toying.
Eventually I got over my horror and went looking. I didn't want to quit a good, easy, food... not from one source. So I went digging. I checked specific peeps I generally follow, others I suspect are on to something... nothing. Not involving chia. So I reverse engineered my searches for phytoestrogens... plant based estrogen... and anti-androgenic foods to avoid (often just as bad for women as men, unless they are post-menopausal, if even that is still debatable). Nothing, nowhere. Chia and flax will continue.
.
Ever gone for an extended swim, run, or such when you are out of shape? Or stretched your routine just enough to dig in? That whinge in your side that goes deep, when you do it right? Not the little one which passes almost as soon as you stop, or fully catch your breath, but the one that is going to stay with you a week... you just know from experience? Right. Well, that is everything from the ribs down.
Oh, I have definitely had worse. This almost feels like that gassy bloat, on the medium to high level, but in every organ. I almost suspect the coconut flour. Maybe. My only drawbacks to that suspicion are that the bloat seems to be everywhere (which can be countered by one area actually expanding enough to push into other areas), and that it took so long after the meal to manifest (possibly countered by my not doing anything to place demands on digestion, so it wasn't activated very quickly).
I don't know yet. After Drano, even so long ago, my body... doesn't react completely normally. No complaints, just an understanding. I think, if it isn't sure about something, it quarantines it. Really really. I think that is what it is doing. I sort of know, from experience. Due to my and other abuses, my body is not my own, and will act in, on, it's own behalf. I have learned, if I wish to participate, to... acquiesce. Yes, my body used to be able to shut me out. What it did on it's own? I will probably never know, if I think, like any dying animal, it just sought a dark, warm, safe place to hide and curl up. We have been dying fast most of the last thirty years, after all.
Blood sugar right out of the gate is 178, down five from yesterday morning, which was down seventeen from the previous day, which itself was down five from the day before. A very solid, steady, decline, with only one reversal since restarting the process, if of only three points. I'll gladly take it. I will still have to take 10 cc's unless it drops a lot before breakfast.
Oh, I read or saw somewhere that chia seeds were like soy, anti-androgenic... or worse. I can't recall the source because I shut it down in fear and loathing. Believe what you may. And while I may play a good, or bad, game on the edges, truth is, there is no actual there, there. So... I was far more disturbed by the notion than you are by my toying.
Eventually I got over my horror and went looking. I didn't want to quit a good, easy, food... not from one source. So I went digging. I checked specific peeps I generally follow, others I suspect are on to something... nothing. Not involving chia. So I reverse engineered my searches for phytoestrogens... plant based estrogen... and anti-androgenic foods to avoid (often just as bad for women as men, unless they are post-menopausal, if even that is still debatable). Nothing, nowhere. Chia and flax will continue.
Monday, May 6, 2019
They sure pick them.
.
.
A dream last night. I found an ancient, by US standards, Catholic church. Irish as hell. They accepted me easily, strangely. Some sort of construction project was underway. They were drilling from the fourth or fifth story to what seemed the eighth or tenth subfloor basement or catacombs. Something about getting water from a holy spring up to a new font, wanting no bends... a straight shot.
I ended up travelling with some men, younger bachelors. I learned of their ways. Catholicism is... not... one notion. It is all of the various faiths prescribed by the Magisterium, bible, doctors of the church, under guidance of the apostolic ascension. And, really, each diocese, even individual church, monastery, or other institution, can have variance... great variance. This church was certainly... different. Much looser in many ways. Then again nearly everybody was at least fourth cousins and to everybody. A bit of laxity was from familiarity.
While I, mostly, accidentally led the lads astray, it wasn't too far off. Nothing confession was needed to address. However I was able to find a confessor and do this rite. For care's sake, I did include my... near sin earlier. The father just shook his head, said they would likely have had a sip anyway. They look for a way out of confession. He knew who despite my only having discussed my part, carefully excluding their or time details. It was a good dream.
---------
.
A dream last night. I found an ancient, by US standards, Catholic church. Irish as hell. They accepted me easily, strangely. Some sort of construction project was underway. They were drilling from the fourth or fifth story to what seemed the eighth or tenth subfloor basement or catacombs. Something about getting water from a holy spring up to a new font, wanting no bends... a straight shot.
I ended up travelling with some men, younger bachelors. I learned of their ways. Catholicism is... not... one notion. It is all of the various faiths prescribed by the Magisterium, bible, doctors of the church, under guidance of the apostolic ascension. And, really, each diocese, even individual church, monastery, or other institution, can have variance... great variance. This church was certainly... different. Much looser in many ways. Then again nearly everybody was at least fourth cousins and to everybody. A bit of laxity was from familiarity.
While I, mostly, accidentally led the lads astray, it wasn't too far off. Nothing confession was needed to address. However I was able to find a confessor and do this rite. For care's sake, I did include my... near sin earlier. The father just shook his head, said they would likely have had a sip anyway. They look for a way out of confession. He knew who despite my only having discussed my part, carefully excluding their or time details. It was a good dream.
---------
What for supper?
.
.
Fatted tea and chicken, reheated in the oven? Fine. Oh, and a small raw potato. Blood sugar was down to 123 for lunch. Lunch was the chocolate mug cake with whipped cream. I forgot to add extra (liquid) sweetener, which was fine by me. I never really liked dark chocolate, but on keto it really is, hmm, better. It seems good enough. If compared to milk chocolate, outside of memory, I would probably like dark much better now. Sugar is too much, anymore, cloying in some foods.
I cut insulin by 2 cc's, from 10 to 8. If I have a similar supper reading I will again cut by 2 cc's. I don't want to lower insulin too fast. Tomorrow, unless the reads are really a lot lower, I will keep it at the 8 cc mark. I'll lower every other day unless the reading(s) drops are too severe. I don't want to cause a backslide, and want to see what each reduction does first.
I keep forgetting to set the meal timer after I finish eating. Oh well, as roughly as I am doing it is working. Other than missing a night not too long ago, I haven't missed medicine in... months... three? four? It's been a while. I just wish the stat improvements would show up in the ability to function. I'll keep work on my mind. Will hit it when I can.
Later.
.
Fatted tea and chicken, reheated in the oven? Fine. Oh, and a small raw potato. Blood sugar was down to 123 for lunch. Lunch was the chocolate mug cake with whipped cream. I forgot to add extra (liquid) sweetener, which was fine by me. I never really liked dark chocolate, but on keto it really is, hmm, better. It seems good enough. If compared to milk chocolate, outside of memory, I would probably like dark much better now. Sugar is too much, anymore, cloying in some foods.
I cut insulin by 2 cc's, from 10 to 8. If I have a similar supper reading I will again cut by 2 cc's. I don't want to lower insulin too fast. Tomorrow, unless the reads are really a lot lower, I will keep it at the 8 cc mark. I'll lower every other day unless the reading(s) drops are too severe. I don't want to cause a backslide, and want to see what each reduction does first.
I keep forgetting to set the meal timer after I finish eating. Oh well, as roughly as I am doing it is working. Other than missing a night not too long ago, I haven't missed medicine in... months... three? four? It's been a while. I just wish the stat improvements would show up in the ability to function. I'll keep work on my mind. Will hit it when I can.
Later.
Time to dig in.
.
.
I am feeling better. Blood sugar dropped some, to 170 before my first real meal. Salad is okay, but this particular pork roast was dry. I diced a few slices, and it tasted very good with the mixed green salad and olive oil and vinegar dressing... homemade. I am pushing food to later in the day, in an attempt to make intermittent fasting an afternoon thing. That works better, especially if I can swim while fasting, in the morning.
My next meal will be as easy as can be. Soon I would like to try another sort of meal. I need to double the recipes, but no problem as long as I like the foods. I don't always want 'fast foods', but sometimes it really helps. Oh, I will make whipped cream for the dessert dish.
.
I am feeling better. Blood sugar dropped some, to 170 before my first real meal. Salad is okay, but this particular pork roast was dry. I diced a few slices, and it tasted very good with the mixed green salad and olive oil and vinegar dressing... homemade. I am pushing food to later in the day, in an attempt to make intermittent fasting an afternoon thing. That works better, especially if I can swim while fasting, in the morning.
My next meal will be as easy as can be. Soon I would like to try another sort of meal. I need to double the recipes, but no problem as long as I like the foods. I don't always want 'fast foods', but sometimes it really helps. Oh, I will make whipped cream for the dessert dish.
A 3:00 bedtime.
.
.
Really? Yeah. Just could not sleep after missing the earlier cutoff. It just works that way. I did wake by 10:00, so there is that. The girls were hungry, if that was only part of it. I could just feel the day slipping away. While I am not doing much, I keep believing it will happen soon. I don't want to waste opportunity or burn sunlight.
The girls and ducks have been tended, hot tea is going, and... nothing else so far. Trash was taken out last night. Oh, I did get one last bag out this morning. Fasting blood sugar finally dropped below 200, a 183 winner. I often wasn't taking fasting draws before insulin and a return to keto, and was still hitting 450 not even three weeks ago. I finally checked, I went in on the 18th, but with driving and else, I didn't start that medicine until the 19th.
Blood sugar is definitely doing better. I did one more draw last night, since I was awake so long. It was 108. I am definitely getting there. Insulin, essentially, is replacing extended and intermittent fasting, in it's effects. But with keto, it is moving toward repair, not simple maintenance. I am beginning to believe I will be finished with insulin closer to three to six months than a year. I know two diabetics who would rather just eat as they do and take the pill. Been there, done that, have the 3rd stage renal failure for my efforts. It might heal, time will tell. I try to get them to switch to keto, both tell me they are fine. And they are and will be, for five to ten years. But, then, who wants to live forever? Nobody does.
Same plans as before. The timer is set for two hours, then a shot and a meal. Another two hours... after the end of the meal... then a read, shot, and meal. I am trying to get three filling meals within six to eight hours. The limit is the speed of consumption. I don't want to scarf it down, actually I can't... the problem is actually that I am a slow eater. Ugh.
High-fat food is work to eat. Loverly food, truly good, tasty, but DENSE. Anyway... yeah, drowning in food describes it best. And I have to eat or blood sugar pops... I assume unless I am in mid to deep ketosis. If not, the body will "eat" protein from my body, turning that almost immediately to sugars. What I don't get is why my body would be salvaging when I am doing nothing and only missing one meal? I thought my metabolism was dead, to be honest, or close to it. Apparently not.
On to waking. Later.
.
Really? Yeah. Just could not sleep after missing the earlier cutoff. It just works that way. I did wake by 10:00, so there is that. The girls were hungry, if that was only part of it. I could just feel the day slipping away. While I am not doing much, I keep believing it will happen soon. I don't want to waste opportunity or burn sunlight.
The girls and ducks have been tended, hot tea is going, and... nothing else so far. Trash was taken out last night. Oh, I did get one last bag out this morning. Fasting blood sugar finally dropped below 200, a 183 winner. I often wasn't taking fasting draws before insulin and a return to keto, and was still hitting 450 not even three weeks ago. I finally checked, I went in on the 18th, but with driving and else, I didn't start that medicine until the 19th.
Blood sugar is definitely doing better. I did one more draw last night, since I was awake so long. It was 108. I am definitely getting there. Insulin, essentially, is replacing extended and intermittent fasting, in it's effects. But with keto, it is moving toward repair, not simple maintenance. I am beginning to believe I will be finished with insulin closer to three to six months than a year. I know two diabetics who would rather just eat as they do and take the pill. Been there, done that, have the 3rd stage renal failure for my efforts. It might heal, time will tell. I try to get them to switch to keto, both tell me they are fine. And they are and will be, for five to ten years. But, then, who wants to live forever? Nobody does.
Same plans as before. The timer is set for two hours, then a shot and a meal. Another two hours... after the end of the meal... then a read, shot, and meal. I am trying to get three filling meals within six to eight hours. The limit is the speed of consumption. I don't want to scarf it down, actually I can't... the problem is actually that I am a slow eater. Ugh.
High-fat food is work to eat. Loverly food, truly good, tasty, but DENSE. Anyway... yeah, drowning in food describes it best. And I have to eat or blood sugar pops... I assume unless I am in mid to deep ketosis. If not, the body will "eat" protein from my body, turning that almost immediately to sugars. What I don't get is why my body would be salvaging when I am doing nothing and only missing one meal? I thought my metabolism was dead, to be honest, or close to it. Apparently not.
On to waking. Later.
Sunday, May 5, 2019
Gah!
.
.
While I couldn't work today, I could have been to bed hours ago. However, after supper, I forgot insulin. It was a few hours late. A bit of food and the shot... I am beginning to hate food... eat, cook, way behind on cleaning, *h`tt`ng, rinse, and repeat. Anyway, them's the rules.
I finally was able to do a read, half an hour shy of my preferred two hour wait. Their rules, I simply try to abide since they provided my request and I agreed to hoops. The final blood sugar was 120. I will bet it was lower earlier, or would have been if I had taken insulin on time, and minus the extra food. It isn't bad, but 95 would have been better. I'm trying to decrease my moving average.
I'd better get trash to the curb. No more out, but... well, it will do. Then on to bed. After stalling, sleep dragged out. Bleh. Late, again. Good night.
.
While I couldn't work today, I could have been to bed hours ago. However, after supper, I forgot insulin. It was a few hours late. A bit of food and the shot... I am beginning to hate food... eat, cook, way behind on cleaning, *h`tt`ng, rinse, and repeat. Anyway, them's the rules.
I finally was able to do a read, half an hour shy of my preferred two hour wait. Their rules, I simply try to abide since they provided my request and I agreed to hoops. The final blood sugar was 120. I will bet it was lower earlier, or would have been if I had taken insulin on time, and minus the extra food. It isn't bad, but 95 would have been better. I'm trying to decrease my moving average.
I'd better get trash to the curb. No more out, but... well, it will do. Then on to bed. After stalling, sleep dragged out. Bleh. Late, again. Good night.
Well?
.
.
Oh well. I just haven't gotten to anything. The furnace is keeping it warm. Too warm. Maybe. Two meals though. One to go. I am drowning in food, but if I skip blood sugar rises. If I stay keto. I have been testing once too often, so I have decided to cut pre-breakfast testing out. Lunch was 189 just now was 127. Another test before bed. I believe the arrangement was to cut insulin 2 cc's if blood sugar was below 150... or was it 180? I think 150. So, I cut insulin. It will eventually see me off insulin, save that I use more if forced to eat higher carbs. But I am at adjustment time and I seriously avoid carbs.
A shave, trash on out, and a meal shortly. Chicken salad? Maybe. Or pork and... I don't know. I'd best check the ducks. The girls won't be fed for a few more hours. A snack and litter clearing would be good. I don't like feeding them human or cooked food, but chicken... either I share or they steal. Or everything gets double bagged then still taken out quickly. I prefer to share just a bit. They really can't eat much.
Interesting what music, from way back, floats back after a musical gifting from my side. I am sure it is from the long time viewers, or ai on youtube. Still, I enjoy. I might present some later. What... fun. Later.
.
Oh well. I just haven't gotten to anything. The furnace is keeping it warm. Too warm. Maybe. Two meals though. One to go. I am drowning in food, but if I skip blood sugar rises. If I stay keto. I have been testing once too often, so I have decided to cut pre-breakfast testing out. Lunch was 189 just now was 127. Another test before bed. I believe the arrangement was to cut insulin 2 cc's if blood sugar was below 150... or was it 180? I think 150. So, I cut insulin. It will eventually see me off insulin, save that I use more if forced to eat higher carbs. But I am at adjustment time and I seriously avoid carbs.
A shave, trash on out, and a meal shortly. Chicken salad? Maybe. Or pork and... I don't know. I'd best check the ducks. The girls won't be fed for a few more hours. A snack and litter clearing would be good. I don't like feeding them human or cooked food, but chicken... either I share or they steal. Or everything gets double bagged then still taken out quickly. I prefer to share just a bit. They really can't eat much.
Interesting what music, from way back, floats back after a musical gifting from my side. I am sure it is from the long time viewers, or ai on youtube. Still, I enjoy. I might present some later. What... fun. Later.
It works out as it will.
.
.
I stayed up later, then much later. At 20:00 I checked blood sugar again. At 109 I was both comfortable that it wasn't continuing to drop and that the 98 read wasn't a fluke. I couldn't get to sleep until 23:00. The shock, and fear response, of that steep of a drop sort of made me think. I couldn't break the thought cycle.
Not waking until 9:00, therefore, wasn't a surprise. Fasting blood sugar was 200, five points less than yesterday, twenty eight and twenty five less then the previous days respectively. It drops from a few points to in the twenties per day save for that odd duck three point rise... gotta happen to prove the point.
I am not sure about today. Though with trash collected, it will definitely go out. I may see if anything else could be put out. The rest of the old plans are still on the books. We will see.
.
I stayed up later, then much later. At 20:00 I checked blood sugar again. At 109 I was both comfortable that it wasn't continuing to drop and that the 98 read wasn't a fluke. I couldn't get to sleep until 23:00. The shock, and fear response, of that steep of a drop sort of made me think. I couldn't break the thought cycle.
Not waking until 9:00, therefore, wasn't a surprise. Fasting blood sugar was 200, five points less than yesterday, twenty eight and twenty five less then the previous days respectively. It drops from a few points to in the twenties per day save for that odd duck three point rise... gotta happen to prove the point.
I am not sure about today. Though with trash collected, it will definitely go out. I may see if anything else could be put out. The rest of the old plans are still on the books. We will see.
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