Something is a bit off.

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Sometimes, when starting medicine again after being off it for a bit, the day I start to three or four days after, I can take a hit.  It has been three days that I have been back on medicine and I am taking a hit.  It's a good thing.  The hit is the whole engine and drivetrain of my body shuddering, as it comes back into a more... sustainable set of functions.  BP drops, pulse slows, veins and else adjust, but it's hard on the system to do that.

A bit of a headache.  Mild.  Medium, really.  Shoulders, neck, and skull all just a bit off.  Arteries of the neck aching just a bit.  Everything is adjusting back to some sort of trim.  Well, and it might be cooling?  Hmm, not really.  I have acclimatized, I think, to the heat.  It got up to 92 by the time I went to bed today.  But it... felt okay.  I am sure it probably climbed into the mid, perhaps higher, 90s?  I can't be certain.  But I felt fine, slept well, and woke well.

All good.  It happens.  Being back on medicine is better, by far, than being off them... now that I have medicine that actually treats what is wrong.

It isn't all that cool, tonight, or yet?  It is 62 outside, and 75, 76, or 77 indoors, downstairs.  I just turned off the fan, near the front door.  But am leaving the other fans going and the front door open.  While the numbers don't show, it is really cooling down.

I have been looking over tools, reviewing manuals, looking up owners manuals, and just... thinking about things.  Remembering.  While there were things about mechanics I didn't like, there were things I did like.  When you started something, you, or someone else, would definitely finish it.  Usually it was you.  Whether it was greasing every zerk on the command deck, tagging out removing repairing and replacing a ball valve, or while on duty also filling a tank which holds a full atmosphere of air when near enough to the surface to do so, and cycling another tank to replace a full atmosphere of air on the ship.  An atmosphere of air, on a submarine, is all the air within all the compartments the submarine can hold, or... as I remember things.  But, what that adds to, is... doing a job, getting it done, and the satisfaction of a job well done and truly done.

Anyway, so... I keep looking up little jobs on the motorcycle.  Especially things which, in theory, have me shying away.  I'm not so afraid of an oil change, or spark plug check, or even chain maintenance and checking.  But bleeding the brakes, changing sprockets especially if sizing up or down for specific wants, or checking and adjusting valve clearances?  Those... make me nervous.

Ahha.

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While I was looking over the Haines' offerings for motorcycle manuals, I realized I have never gotten one for the Xterra.  So, I went looking tonight.  I added it to the cart, though not sure when I will buy it.  There are things I could do for the suv that I would be doing on the bike, and become partly geared up for some tasks, like oil changes, checking spark plugs, and such.

Plus, I could actually begin doing real things, not just in prep for the bike.  Why haven't I done it already?  Good question.  I actually have some mechanical skills.  Not... even up to being a shade-tree mechanic, but far closer than most would imagine.  Whatever else I did in the Navy, dealing with mechanical and some minor electrical issues was part of my training, and maybe a very small amount of what I actually did.

A quarter, three quarter, to half inch drive will well know to me.  Plus the socket sizes became familiar, with the more common sizes being known by feel even.  Zerk fittings, grease types by function, and why... non-petroleum lubricants, for use where rubber o-rings exist, and such.  So much lore, and knowledge, back in there.  My hands are rusty.  But my memory is strangely clear.  And, yes, we used manuals for everything!  Ninety percent of the time, we had to go by the book.  Even when we didn't go by the usual book, there was a sort of unwritten, or portion of, the book that was used.  Only in very rare, dire emergency, cases would we toss the book and hit it raw.  So, yes, I... learned how to read and write technical.

I never quite became a pro, like a lot of the guys.  But I was well on my way.  And, really, everyone was at some stage of becoming a hardnosed serious mechanic.  We didn't just do it, we lived it.  We smelled like oil and grease and other chemicals.  Metal imbedded our skin, our fingernails were often black, even when we washed well.  Only so much of that stuff comes out.

I never liked getting grease under my fingernails, getting dirty in general.  But, I did.  Mostly, though, I was just a learner.  But I was fully open to learning.  I listened, asked pertinent questions, sought understanding on my own and asked others.  I was an attentive student, and just absorbed gobs of knowledge.  And, being strong enough to do almost anything, I was sought for help, so was allowed to pick minds at will.

As rough as things are, now, I think I might be able to... tear in and get things maintained.  It would be easier having two vehicles though.  A motorcycle, to ride when the suv is down, apart.  And the reverse.  While the idea is to hit the project, hard, and do it right, and quickly.  I learned, on submarines, that every with every part, spare pieces, all the knowledge in the world, the books, and using those things, sometimes things just don't fit back the way they should.  Every submarine, and every system on her, was custom.  Then, every repair might well end up customizing further, beyond the book.  That's just how it goes.  Plus, with two mechanical teams on each sub, not everything was passed on, directly.  A little heat between teams for that, but... probably not rightly.  Still, it's a team based world, so there it was.

Yeah, working on things can end up being a problem, taking time.  But, I have the manual in the cart, and will order it before long.  I have enough tools for some things, and am tooling up for more.  We'll see.  If the bike can't happen until spring, I can be working on the Xterra, and getting my mechanic's hands back... the feel, the grit... it takes a bit.  Later.

Down early, up early.

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I think I made it just to 14:00?  Or near it, maybe right after.  The plan was to make it to 16:00 to 18:00.  I just couldn't do it.  Sleep was wonderful.  I am taking medicine, again, regularly.  That might be what is, temporarily, bringing me to heel a bit.  But that will be fixed shortly.  Regularity brings a bit more health and strength, with medicine.

Sleep was super.  I only made it to 23:00.  Tried to sleep longer, just wasn't going to happen.  I got up, pretty much, as soon as I woke.  I realized I woke too well to go on back to bed.  Though not quickly.  There is the walrus song, is there a turtle song?  I am... the turtle!  Not the slowest waking I have ever done, but it was pretty slow.

I opened up the upstairs, turned off the ac, turned on the alternate fans.  It just is better if fans get a break, from time to time.  But, the upstairs really has to have fans going to stay cool, with or without ac.  Definitely with windows open.  It was 70/72 upstairs, 75/76 down here, 78 near the computer, and 68 outside.  Not all that cool, for this late, but... so it goes.

My mother called, while I was asleep.  I'll call her back in a few days.  My aunt texted me yesterday.  Haven't heard from her in... a very long time.  Quite pleased.  I... have been avoiding family.  I know I am dying.  I have that edge.  When people get to my place, no matter how long they are here, they get a... sharp edge.  We know that muddling words, parsing them, especially if we have seen that heaven and hell are real, just isn't going to happen.  

We won't have to be asked to spit it out, and we won't be telling you what you want to hear.  Don't negotiate with evil, don't believe lies even (especially) if you like them, don't sell your soul for a foolish belief or disbelief.  So... I can be... difficult, for people who just want a soft, easy, stroll to their deaths... sometime off in some unknown future.  Besides, it is difficult to keep up.  Or to ask people to get to know you well, include you, when you may just be dropping off at any time.  That side of things can be a bit lonely, but death is a lonely passage.  If I had ten thousand friends?  I'd still have to go alone... whenever that happens.  That's part of the bite, when dealing with people.  

Animals do it too.  When it is time to begin going, they... try to get on their own.  Natural instinct.  Vulnerable, though, too.  And our own kind, or similar, rightly and wrongly, can be so cruel to those who... are failing.  "Why don't you just..."  Fill in the blank.  Well, because I can't stand, I can't always even eat, and shitting might be a bridge too far, some days.  That's... pretty much... why.  They don't understand.

Never mind.  I still appreciate contact, from time to time.  I should... make some calls... soon.  Try to just keep in a small loop.  Everyone I know is in rough shape, so... maybe.  :p  Or has been there, done that.  Save one.  Even mother has been through some serious surgeries, and difficult times.  But she is already on the list.  How many years, now, have I been talking to her regularly?  It took a lot of years before that could happen, but... there it is.

Something to eat, tonight.  Eggs and corned beef has were superior the other day.  But I may have chicken and/or pork roast?  Is it still good?  I had peas, corn, and mushroom with butter today, and meat sticks.  Nothing fancy, but it's... something.  Meat sounds good, tonight.  If it's good, I'll heat a few pieces, or slices, up, in with the spinach.  Then add vinegar to the spinach?  Or butter, salt, and pepper?  Meh, I really do prefer vinegar.

On to something.  Same list as yesterday, as to what to do, if I can.  Later.

Well, on to bed.

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I'll make it to 14:00, but that is it.  I... tried, wanted, to do things.  I... sat.  So tired.

I had things I wanted to do today, inside and out.  How long has it been since I have been out of the house... well... beyond the yard?  A month?  Going on two?  Some timeframe like that.  I just... I'm stuck.

I did make a call, about a business arrangement.  Wasn't able to complete it, but was able to let them know I am still alive, and working on it.  The failure was on their part, but it will all work.  It isn't terrible, or crucial, it was more just... trying to be polite.  Late as I am, I... do try.  Maybe tomorrow.

Today I got up and shut the upstairs down.  I failed to do that yesterday and it was 79 when I went up to sleep.  Still, with the ac turned on, fans set to run, and windows closed, plus being tired enough, sleep wasn't even an issue.  Actually, if I wouldn't want to do that all the time, that may have allowed a much deeper and longer sleep.  It was a good sleep.

Oh, I'll get all of today's medicine in.  I just need some water.  Ah, done.

I had been wondering why my legs had started swelling, again.  Even off dairy.  It was just that I had forgotten medicine for three days running.  That'll do it.  Now, I don't even need extra water pills to drain down.  A regular start up allows pretty good drainage.  It takes a few days, but does it's job just as is.  I have been going frequently, more than unusual, plus filling a three liter pee bottle every night.  I had been down to, say, 500 to 700 ml per night.  I'll get back to it before long.

A good day.  Even if I didn't get much done, I did do two things, and even had a visitor.  Odd how the world works.  But, it will all work out in time.  Or, really, it won't.  But, at some point, the toils and troubles of this world, and leisures too, will be set aside for a different path and set of events.

Be well.  Know prayers are sent in your direction.  Have a great afternoon, day, week, and goodnight.

Wow, almost cold this morning.

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The outside is only down to 55, one degree cooler than when I woke.  But, by several hours ago, not only did I have to shut off fans, but I had to shut the door.  Downstairs is ready 70 and 72, and near the computer it is 72.  So, yeah, chilly.  All good, I can dress warmer, as things cool.  And, it might help with day and night situating.  Though I really do like it cooler.

I got ahold of the neighbor.  I had some tools for him.  He hadn't left for work yet, so stopped on his way out of town.  Gifts.  Curious how the toys will work.  Spoke a bit, got caught up a little.  He is busy this time of year.  And, now, has his brother working with him.  I forgot to ask about his gal.  Just... curious.  Like to stay in a loop or three, as is possible.  Still, all good.

Feeling fairly good.  I'll get some fatted coffee, to warm up, take today's medicine, get a trim, then shower.  And see what else is possible.  Hungry.  But... not really.  Strange, that.  Fed Sassy.  But really need to sort out her litter boxes.  And get fresh water.

A nice day.  Chilly, but I am enjoying that.  And... if it cools well enough, the mosquitoes will be gone.  It's not quite actually cold enough.  But is closing in.  And, cool enough that they become dormant earlier.  Only being a problem for the first part of the night.  Far fewer this year than last.  Last year, hereabouts, it was a bit rough.

Well, on to a coffee, maybe a trim first, then a coffee while I do a bit more browsing.  Then get a shower, and hopefully set dishes back up.  Then who knows what.  Good morning and day.  Later.

A good night of sleep.

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Closer to an actual night.  Awake at midnight, then midnight thirty.  Tried to sleep more, giving up at 00:48.  Opening up, upstairs.  These days I don't worry about whether it will be cool enough to be worth it.  Tonight it turns out it was 58 out there already.  Keeping the house partly unlidded when I go to sleep, all I really need to do is open the front door to get some  cooling in.

It was 70/72 upstairs, 75/76 downstairs, and 77 still near the computer.  Very strange, if you ask me, that this computer corner, and my sleep corner, are the warmest areas in the house, with or without anything cooling or heating.  At least in the summer.  We'll see, in the winter.  Though, this front room for sure is colder in the winter.  Save this area, compared to the rest of this room.

Well, back to the list.  A trim, a shower, dishes, and laundry.  Then, if possible, into the bathroom... some cleaning.  And, then, maybe counters.  It's the plan.  A bunch of new and new/old videos popped.  I'll have to try to... curate them, into a... story.  *grins*  A woman, or women, teasing.  Offering what they no more offer, in truth, than I can more than laugh at, or rebuff.  

I see no women, with any interest.  And, even if I saw such a woman, in America, at this point, I would probably have to reject her.  Most American women are ruinous.  They might just want love, but they have become as ticks.  Just... the truth.  We can, I suppose, be friends from a distance.  Ask or expect no more.  I'll... think about putting that together.  It was a music bombing, was chaotic.  Wonderful, in some ways.  But... even if fully rejected, the idea is always pleasant.

Oh... on with it.  Medicine down, the last of yesterday's.  I'll have to remember to get the next lot in in, say, six hours.  Then, try to remember to finish the last of today's medicine around bedtime.  It's just, at around bedtime, memory goes to shit.  Just remember to go to bed, at bedtime, is half a trick.  Still, I'll... try.  Good morning, night, day, or... whatever the hell it is.

A bit rough.

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Not sure why.  Ah, hitting 14:08, so I have stretched my day a bit.  And it is heating up, to 81 in this room.  Well, and I keep waiting for a call, about the house.  I don't think I'll get that call.  Which... is fine.  As I said, I am in a pretty good situation.  Would only sell out of it for enough padding to land well somewhere else.

Whatever is up with ups, or amazon, both really, seems to have partially sorted itself out.  Nothing was scheduled to be delivered, in spite of it all being in to the local shop.  Then, the items looked to no longer be even at the local shop.  They were wiped, on amazon, as being local... since Friday or Saturday.  With no notice, as I wash checking again, it indicated that one of the packages had arrived?  Very strange, usually they put it down that the package(s) are out for delivery.  As I mentioned, earlier, they were showing that the items hadn't even arrived locally.

There is something really strange going on in there.  Too few workers?  Workers not getting paid enough, so becoming gremlins?  Hacks on their software... getting packages delivered to the wrong addresses?  Some of it is definitely inside demolition, but some of it is outside, if there is just as likely collaboration.  A joint effort to rob whatever is popular, or wanted.  Perhaps a black market bid on packages?  Things are going south, fast.  This will kill amazon.  Though, not sure they were making money.  How much of it was fiction?  I realize China's economy is going down, because it is bunk.  Didn't realize America and probably Europe too, are... more bunked?  Yea, I'm starting to think so.  God have mercy on those who no longer can.  If this hits like it is looking to hit, life will be tight.  And, yes, that includes me.  If money becomes worthless, life will become exceedingly dangerous.

It's in the signs.  Everything from "workers needed" (if at places no one would wish to work).  To the lowering of pay, rising of costs... just buying gasoline to get to work?  How many are dying, from the shot?  Can't stand, or do much?  Seriously, things are going very badly, and not just here.  I think America, technically, is in better shape to pull through, but only after some serious pain.  Some places will literally become Mad Maxvilles.  Parts of America will, have... big cities.  Even out here, in the country, it's... getting... bad.  Especially for solo acts.

Whatever.  I'll try to make a call, since I couldn't make a trip.  Do what you can, I guess.  I'll try to get in this week, but... yeah... it's tight.  Later, or goodnight.

Up to 70.

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Or, last I checked.  Not the sunniest of days, again.  If not terribly dark.

Another someone is asking about the house.  I don't have much hope, but... that's not the deal.  If I can't get my price, I have reasonable "rent".  So be it.  Just texting at the moment.  Seems to be a new one.  I had the others indicated on my phone... their numbers...  This time I let them know, right off, what the quote was, and that it was out of context... as I see things.  I love, and hate, that dance.

Oh, right.  First the intro.  Then the checkup.  Now to another handler.  Pretty typical.  I know this is going nowhere.  But... what do I have to lose?  Any inspection I will delay for a few weeks.  Gives me some time, again, to get some things in better order.  Ugh.

Up, still.  Haven't showered yet, but... it's... coming.  Brushing my teeth, back on meds... except insulin... bleh.  Will... sort things out.  After something or nothing with this potential buyer x?  I'll get in and shower.  Trim whiskers first, then shower.  Put dishes in.  Then?  I don't know.  Lost, in the day.

I did have breakfast.  Eggs and corned beef hashed browns.  Good enough.  Spicy enough for me to note, but not too much.  I added the two hottest spices, in my usual amounts, but it just wasn't there.  Though I have noted, as with cold, heat, hearing, and other sensations, sometimes everything is toned down.  I think, today, things are toned down.  I'll... keep at it, anyway.

Oh, nothing has been sent, on other orders.  And, what was listed as having arrived at Logan, is now showing as not there, and only arriving tomorrow.  Something is really wrong with both amazon and ups.  Well, and they have put me on the short list, for writing about my experiences with them.  No one even reads here, except people like them, when named.

Yes.  I'll... keep at it.  The goal, today, besides those things, is to stay up until 15:00?  As late as 18:00, if possible.  Not... sure I am seeing that.  But... we'll see.  Have a great morning, day, and later.  Oh... one... more... day.

Almost cold.

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Not bad at all.  But... when checking the temperature outside, I felt cold.  Heck, walking through the house to get back there gave me the first inklings of a chill.  It is reading 56, but... it's on the much cooler side of it.  Moisture in the air?  Dew?  Low... or high(?)... barometric pressure?  Something.  It feels cold.  I have turned off the fans down here.

Yes, here by the machine, it is 74.  Everywhere else was 72/73.  But the cool air is coming in, swirling around, even with not fans, like a serpent of cold.

Strange noises out there.  Skunk?  Racoon?  Something... strange.  It sort of hissed, or growled, at something else... a fussy child? another of it's kind? some other type of creature? or just a hiccup, sneeze, or general alert/warning?  Almost sounded like a little sneeze, but not quite.  Too... specific, like a fake sneeze.  Further out, the lowing of cattle.  Crickets in closer.  Vehicles... a semi this time, though every half hour to hour, even out here, a vehicle goes by.  Fewer vehicles than ever before, since I moved in though.

When I first moved in, it was... fairly busy.  Then it got busier.  For some years it was so busy, night and day, I felt I had lost my home.  I tuned it out, for there was little else to do.  But, since covid, and I would say for a year or so before, things started to slow back down.  It would jump, traffic, from time to time.  As if trying to bring back the "glory days" of horrid traffic.  But it just couldn't make it.

For good or ill, traffic is slower, less frequent, mostly just a thing around morning, noon, and a couple of different night shifts.  For me?  I am satisfied with less traffic.  Though, really, I am used to it, and mostly don't hear it, unless I listen for it.  Hmm, oh, but they do go through more slowly.  They really have slowed it down, mostly.  That I appreciate more than else, even if it is just in the back of my mind, somewhere being noticed by an ear in the back of the mind.

Wow.  That cool, cold really, is definitely snaking it's way in.  I may have to close the front door.  Maybe trim the windows a bit more.  A great thing.  If nights cool, and days follow, it is easier to sleep at night.

I really am hoping to get trash and recycling out.  Not sure if there is enough trash to go, but recycling should do all right with what is out and in.  Then a shower... trim first, then shower.  Dishes in.  Laundry upstairs and a start on that all.  Maybe, tonight.  It is well cool enough.  And, if it gets feeling too cold, I have... fixes for that.  I can't do much if it is too hot, but I can manage cooling temps well, fashionably perhaps, even.

I'll set the timer for an hour.  I want to just... enjoy the cool.  Though, as suggested, I may at least shut the front door, and maybe get a fatted mocha type thing going.  I am hankering for eggs and corned beef hashbrowns too.  Before or after trash? shower?  I'll... think about it as I sip my warm chocolate coffee.

Oh, it is almost seeming as if amazon has... stopped.  I ordered a few more things, but nothing has started shipping for... days now?  Yea.  I am wondering if they are closing up shop?  Very strange, but perhaps shipping has eaten them whole, and ups with it.  Those fuel costs almost can't be... negotiated.  And prices can't be raised much more?  Breaking point?  We'll see.  I have things ordered as early as August 11th which haven't even been started.  It's not just the time, but... a feeling.  As if the world is... changing.  Later.

Sleep was very good.

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I would say I woke at 22:00.  But didn't shake it off and get out of bed until 22:30.  I was trying to make it to midnight, but realized that wasn't going to happen.  It was 13:30 when I crashed, as it ended, so nine down.  And, it was a pretty solid sleep.  It was 73/70 up there.  I opened up before I came downstairs.

I have been missing medicine, again, again.  I am three days off.  How?  I... just don't get that.  I have full intent to take medicine.  Beyond will, it should be habit?  By now?  And, yet, I... I don't take it.  Water had been piling on, that was my first clue that something was amiss.  I don't think it was missing the meds, that was the problem.  That is a symptom.

While this high summer is very... pleasant?  Yes, pleasant.  It is still high summer.  The sun is on all the time, even when it is overcast.  It is always, near me, 73 to the low to even mid eighties.  Summer has wiped me out.  Not as bad as some summers, in that it is both cooler for summer and because I am tolerating the heat better.  But... for a while, I am done.  

My simple goals are a) to still make lists and check off anything I can, but not worry if nothing gets done... mostly... a few things I really have to push toward, b) to eat, something, anything, every day, c) drink enough, but try to drink in sips, it's tricky when what is needed can be had to great excess... water is as dangerous one way, for me, as it is the other, and finally, d) hold on, to wakefulness, conscious awareness, and even to physical effort, as is possible.  

Those four things are what is left.  I won't do too much, or more than those and at minimums often.  Until it begins to cool, into the 70s out there, I am pretty much just holding one.  Well, I am trying to push my days around, and getting there.  But that is just positioning myself for a tussle in the future?  Mostly.  I have something that must be done soon, as soon as possible.  And... we'll see.

It is cooler earlier tonight, to 62 out there already, or at 22:30.  It was 78 here near the machine, 75 and 76 elsewhere in the house.  I have opened up down here, now, too.  Or a bit more.  I keep things a bit more open, now that it is only getting to the 80s during the day.  80s?  Well, that is what I suspect, as cool as the upstairs stays, and how tame it is when I return downstairs.  And, being partly cloudy, it is cooler still.

Well... on to waking.  My goals are the same.  Brushed my teeth first thing, and am tanking up on water.  Went with a rare perrier, two actually, to start.  I know, I know, but I am so very thirsty!  Trying to sip.  Thirsty!  Later.

Well...

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Nothing.  And nothing will happen.  It is nearing 13:00, it is 82 outside, or so?  Memory is... failing.  I would go look again, but I would as likely forget before I got back.  I might even forget to finish the post and on to bed.  It... has happened before.  So, we'll just go with it being 82 out there.  Warming well indoors, though not terrible.

Upstairs, being closed back up and with the ac back on, should be pleasantly cool.  My problems with summer is, when I get used to the warmth, I can't quite shut off.  And, the cool seems cold, or too cool.  While I still can't sleep with the temperature much above 73.  I can go in, at 75, if I have just turned the ac on, and have the fans going, and that is cooling it.  Otherwise I can't sleep at even 74 or higher.  Rest, sure.  I can lay there.  But when I need sleep, no.  Won't happen, can't.

Sassy has been fed well.  Given some decent attention.  If it is too warm, she won't come around.  For her, it is around 75.  That or above and she will go find somewhere cool to rest.  Only bothering... *cough* getting my attention if she is hungry.  Lower than that and she may populate, wanting itches, scratching, massages, and my attention.  Gladly offered.

Again, a daydream of being shot many times, but not dying.  I even recovered quickly.  Sometimes I am sure I am in purgatory, and my dreams and daydreams are more things that happened, but in different aspects, as I let go of... some things.  Or, perhaps, a form of learning to let me ego dissipate?  Can't be sure.  But they seem so real, at times.  This time it was a bit distant.  Though, in part, because my mind remembers having just daydreamed something similar, most recently, and not having been very satisfied with that.  Worse, knowing I was daydreaming, but having no control.  That is... irritating.

I made it to the afternoon.  I have prayed, quietly, several times.  I am hoping God hears my prayers.  Mostly just gratitude, though hoping he keeps some people in His hands, tends their needs and right wills, and offers them what they need.  How can a father, or Father, do that, while seeming to do nothing?  It's a trick that belies understand, but it truly works.  Or... at least it hasn't failed me, even when I had turned my back on Him.  

Good, good.  Now, to make it a bit later tomorrow.  Then, begin putting on the breaks... slowing or stopping my sleep cycle changes as best I am able.  If everything works, I might be able to level out for up to three or four months, as the world cools.  I'll do my best.  It isn't good enough for you, or me, or God.  Thankfully, I don't need to be perfect.  Yet.  Good afternoon, day, and goodnight.

A nice morning.

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Not getting anywhere.  I did just check temperatures, and shut things down... mostly.  It is up to 68 outside, 70 and 72 upstairs, and 71 and 73 up front, down here.  Overcast, by a majority and some, I should thing.  Say... 60 to 80 percent, depending on the moment and capacity to guesstimate.  And, a rather humid day, for Utah.  This would be considered a tame day, by Iowa standards... in the real 60 to 70 percentages.  Sometimes it reads that, but doesn't feel it.  Today it reads and feels it.  A bit... heavy, sluggishness inducing, but... mildly pleasant in an odd way... like the feel of a clean, midweight cotton shirt, on the skin, after a shower and time to rightly dry.

I am still hoping to get a shower in, trim first if I remember.  Shave?  Not today?  But dishes put in, after.  There is always tomorrow.  And that may be required.  But, if I can, I'll do it today.  Been on about it for a while, but it just hasn't happened.  Today?  I can hope.  Such odd weather though.  It's as if it is trying to be August, but is really later September, or even mid October.  It's... an odd way, out this way, this year.

Well... On to something.  Food, actually.  I heated a little something up a bit earlier.  Ate some of it.  Will have some more.  Then, maybe, get to something more.  Good morning, day, and later.

Just browsing the world.

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Sometimes with intention, sometimes not.  Not... ignoring my duties, just unable to attend to them.  Keeping them in mind, hoping, looking, for windows of opportunity.  It may seem strange, but that is what I have available to me.  Barely managing consciousness, so I just can't hate on myself.

It got down to 61, but then very unusually, the temp climbed to 63.  Just a few degrees, but still well into the dark morning.  I think it was around 03:00 when it jumped the two degrees.  And, it has stayed that little bit higher.  Even so, it is pleasant in here.

I have the upstairs and down here open, and fans going.  Maybe an hour or two more, for what it is worth.  Then I'll have to shut things down.  I was able to stay awake until nearly 11:00 yesterday morning.  I am hoping to push back through to the afternoon today.  A 13:00, though 14:00 or even 16:00 down would be great.  Not sure I can keep it, depends on weather... a bit.  Too hot?  I'll keep spinning.  Too cold?  I'll crash.  Dark?  I'll crash.  If it just cools mildly, slowly, and doesn't get too dark for too long, I should... be able to grab the reins back, and saddle myself to some work.

Though, even if I crash for a bit, I know the time is coming.  It will cool, and reasonably... for a goodly spit of time... months.  I should be able to do some serious work, again, this fall.  And, very possibly well into winter.  Right up until winter shuts me down.

The plan?  To continue with the house, clearing, cleaning, sorting, and getting things that need to go into boxes and ready for another dumpster rental.  When I have two loads worth of boxes to go, then call it in.  And... keep digging.  One more month of dumps, and it should be good.  For now.

As well, I need to get to the wood out there.  Fallen branches, and the old wood I have behind one of the outbuildings.  Sort that out.  Plus, clean up the lawn, get rid of some of the hoses that are no good, rake, and such.  We will see how things go, but things went really well this spring.  And, I think, while I have fallen a bit, I am still way ahead overall.  Now to double what I had completed.

The goal is to nearly clear the place, to show, or to allow repairs and updates, or... both.  I will begin saving, again, in earnest, through the fall and winter.  To get some things done, in prep as well for a bike, just to have... things on a more even keel.  Cash in hand.  While I will be losing to low interest and high inflation, for bigger items and repairs, I have to have larger dollars around.  Though, through the winter, I will also be gearing for the bike, tools and riding protection, plus doing some sewing, but mostly focusing on saving for the spring.  Perhaps, if I have enough by January to be sure, start getting quotes for new electrical.  And, if the house is in shape, get quotes for kitchen flooring.  Maybe new living room carpeting.  Perhaps I could get a deal on a two for one thing, at some discount, sort of program.  Who ever knows.

So, I look, research and sort.  Though... there are other things.  Like learning maintenance on the water softener.  And... a few other projects I could do, in the house, myself.  So many things to do, but I... really hit it this spring.  And as mentioned, I think I can this fall, again, too.  On into nearing midwinter.  Work, work, work, work, work.  I do enjoy it, when I can.  It is nearing that time.  I am excited!  Later.

A motorcycle.

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Yes.  Not certain it will ever come about.  But the plans are in motion.  Prices, costs, tools, all sorts of doubts.  To be honest, I was more concerned with picking the bike up after a fall.  Going to happen.  Then I looked around.  Oh, I realized, it isn't a pure deadlift, or bench press, thing.  Even so, I wasn't sure.  Now, while I have almost no stamina, I still have a good deal of serious physical strength.  Good for a short operation... to include picking up a bike.  Plus, I looked around.  There is a method or three to it.

Once that was out of the way, I wanted to look up some other things.  Modern automobiles are beyond the ken of most people.  The Xterra?  Not sure.  Though I may end up trying to figure out how to change my oil on that.  The rest?  So far, no problems.  But... for the most part... I'm not secure in working on that.  But a bike?  Maybe.  At least for some things.

Here are a few ideas of what might be possible.  There are other services that are rather possible, with a motorcycle.  As mentioned, I don't have every tool I would like.  But I do have quite a few tools.  Including small to larger torque wrenches, most standard sockets and wrenches, even a mechanical impact wrench... though I may have a weaker cordless impact?  Maybe.  Anyway... I have quite a collection of tools.  Not pro-level, Snap-On... or such.  But enough for a single bike, or bike and suv.  As, I suspect, I learn on the bike, I may transfer that to the Xterra.

Some videos.  The thing is, as you learn more, you either do more, or back out, back off, and change directions.  Biking, itself, will go that way too.  Though, hereabouts, biking is pretty much limited to six months of the year, maybe eight.  Though, on drier years, maybe even more if one can sort out the cold.  But... a starter collection for ideas on what can be done.  Further, what isn't shown, is break bleeding (using a compressor loader, so a one-man job) and changing a tire, down to taking  off the tire, and repairing tubes, as needed.  But, those too, are required... because of the off-road factor.  Here you go.

Yea, well, awake.

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I have been awake since 20:30?  Give or take a score or minutes.  It's 22:40, and I'm not sure... what I have been doing.  I did get Sassy fed.

She has been eating the chunky foods, with gravy, lately.  But I used something else.  Pate.  Or, half pate, half of the gravy stuff.  I put two packages of her wet food up, so as to have feed out for her, for a month, or nearly.  And, I stack them with alternating foods each day.  Anyway, I... had worried.  I thought she didn't like pate.

As it turns out, whether she did or didn't, she sure enjoyed it this time.  It's been several months since she has had pate.  All good.  I do keep to one brand, but I use many of their various flavors and textures.  To be honest, Sassy is a pretty good eater.  I think it may have been Sam who was picky?  Or... about textures?  Can't... remember, fully.  One of them really didn't like it, and I had thought it was Sassy.  Though it might have been a particular flavor?  Since they don't talk, I don't always, exactly, understand.  It isn't spoiling a cat, to not feed it what it won't eat.  That is just taking care of the creature.

So, why did I put the pate in the lineup?  I didn't realize it was pate, until it was opened.  Then, I wanted to see if she would eat it.  She didn't so much eat it, as devour it.  She seemed quite pleased with the change of pace.  So...  Otherwise I would have dumped it, and gotten her food she will eat.  But, no problems.

Hmm... went looking for something, got lost for an hour.  Anyway... back?  Probably.  Oh... about bikes, a motorcycle that is?  I am beginning to look for tools, more specifically for it.  Mostly looking at Japanese bikes, so, looking at metric tools.  But, also looking for small, multifunctional, easy to carry type of tools.  Though some tools can be kept at home, some are wanted for the bike, especially for any off-road touring.

Now, off-road, for a motorcycle, isn't the exact same as it is for four-wheel vehicles.  There is some crossover.  But, no mudding, for example.  And, for biking, I wouldn't go literally off-road.  Oh, you can, as was shown with the Darien Gap video.  I mean, you can.  But they were hauling that bike as much, or more, than they were riding it.  It wasn't transport, is what I mean, it was dead luggage.  No thank you.  

But, dirt roads, old mountain logging roads, and, maybe, a few odd places which offer challenges, such as mountain trails, game trails, or such.  You can go where no one has gone before, try to find a new way, but that... like other such things, is risk taking beyond my interest.  I have already proven what I need to prove, to whom that was necessary (or not).  If I need to do something risky, I'll do it.  But if not necessary, I won't.

Anyway, even for what I am thinking, I would want tools, gear, expendables (such as tube kits, if I go that way, wiring, fuses).  The question is, how much can you practically take.  What can you do with a small pack?  How much can you minimize?  If you have everything, and time, plus some food and water, you... can sort things out.  Which includes your particular motorcycle manual, if most likely on your phone.  Still, it will work.  However, having nothing, being fifty or a hundred miles out, you will be n a survival journey.  A hundred miles, in the wrong place, is a death sentence.  Even if there is a clear road to follow.

So, yeah, I have been shopping, buying some things already, and... sorting.  Further?  I'll be buying a helmet, padded jacket, pants, and bike boots, before I ever begin leaning into a bike.  I'll probably spend the next three to five months looking at gear, at bikes, seeing what is available, and such.  Then, won't begin considering buying until spring.  If someone had been serious about the house, that would have changed things.  As is?  It'll... just have to wait.  Though, if there is a way to train on motorcycles, without owning one, and getting my license, I may see about that.

Well... there you go.  I will be getting a motorcycle, probably next spring.  If possible.  It may not be what I want, to start out.  Just... a starter bike, in the 650 or larger size.  Just local transport, and a learning device.  But it should work.  And, by then, I will have minimal protection and most of the equipment and tools I need, both for the shop and on the bike for trips.  Or, that is the theory.

Down to 63, right at midnight.  I suppose, after two interruptions, I will finish this post.  Later.

A few chuckles.

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Not much else, so far.  A bit of research on some things.  And... some realizations, learning.  Odd how the world is, sometimes.

The first thing I was looking into, was adapters for metric ratchets.  I was sure there had to be some.  There are for SAE, from 1/4" to 3/8" to 1/2", and between.  But... I... wasn't finding them.  I have mostly used SAE, so am not terribly familiar with metric tools, if I do have them.  On and on I looked.  Until...

Yes, I did laugh.  Metric sockets use SAE ratchets!  Okay.  And, really, I should have known that.  But, time, and lack of use, and memory... things fade, get lost.  But, fine, at least I now know that.  And, the SAE adapters will be sufficient.  As I consider a bike, there are some tools I want to obtain.  A few holes in my equipment, tools, else.  I can't fill every hole, and I won't.  Some things I just don't, won't do.  Something I will.  Other things I may ease into, like, maybe, changing tires.  Still not sure if tubed or tubeless is best, but it won't matter.  My initial configuration would be the way of it, until it was time to change tires, at least.

I did have to laugh.  Why not enjoy learning.  Ignorance isn't a disgrace, it is a beginning.  And, so, I started.  One down, a billion, trillion, gazillion, and more things yet to learn, understand, understand in new or peculiar facets.  I had to laugh about the next one, as well.

I purchase tire air chucks, self capturing.  So I don't have to screw the compressor on, every time I wish to fill or top off a tire.  Something more for bikes, but would be nice for the Xterra, when it is time to fill those, or even check them.  So, I tore open the package, grabbed my cordless compressor, and... started in at it.

I couldn't figure it out.  I thought I was supposed to take off the old one, and that this new device would screw into some part.  But... the gnarled threader would simply not come off.  Oh... I could get it off!  But, should I?  Tinkered, thought, looked for crevices which might indicate a way to removed the piece.  Nothing.

So... I went looking.  On y.t.  I couldn't find anything, for my first half dozen queries.  And, really, didn't find anything, directly.  But... did find something about a different type of chuck, on a different brand of compressor, so... watched it.  Hahahaha!  I... didn't have to take anything off.  All I had to do was screw the new piece right to the original gnarled twist on part, and done!  So... yes.  I... did figure it out.

Oh, and while on y.t., I saw a vid which... caught my eager eyed attention.  It's... been a while.  Lord knows, I... I look, think, remember.  But, it brought something else to mind.  Castle Anthrax, and the first time I saw this scene, and much I have thought about it then and since, watching again and just... from time to time.  Oh, yes, a bit of peril.  God knows I wouldn't mind, at all.  But the... rules have changed.  Still...

Rough.

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I just can't wake up.  Nor, really, can I sleep right now.  Oh, I may try anyway.

Well, I will try to stay awake.  Perhaps have a fatted coffee.  Maybe something to eat.  It is 80 in here, with the fans going, the place open.  It doesn't feel hot, but... I think it is getting to me.  At 77 or higher, I just don't do well.  An improvement, but still a limit.

Slight catches, in my neck and shoulders.  No pain, just... when I look or flex or turn, there is a bit of a hitch in there.  Probably more from so much sitting.  Well, and sleeping.  I am most likely not rolling as often as I should.  Still, I have had much worse.  

For whatever reason, it just isn't cooling.  Not insider, perhaps not outside either?  It is 67 outside.  So, much cooler much earlier tonight.  Yesterday, as late at 02:00? or so, it was still 70.  At 22:41, (12:41 + 10 hours = 22:41, or 10:00 pm for some of you).  That isn't cooling off the inside, much, however.  Or... not yet.  I really can't believe it is 80 in here, with all the fans going and it being 67 out there.  Bah!

Oh, while still looking at the variations of the modern JIS screwdrivers, I found some in the smaller sizes.  I'm not sure if they actually go down to glasses sized drivers, but I will find out.  I ordered some.  I should  end up with a reasonable number of these, in various sizes.  I just went looking for some philips screws, close by.  Found some, but they were too small for the drivers I have.  I currently have access to the 3 and 2 sizes, and have 1s, .75s, and .5s (maybe another size as well) on the way.  Further, in time, I'd like to get their flat blades also.  It is said they fit metric flats much better (though don't work as well in sae, unlike the JIS versus philips).  Which makes sense, really.  Blades cut for metric will have slop in them, just as sae will have slop in JIS flat screws.  Whereas philips are made to slip even philips screws, while the JIS were made to bite and hold, and don't bottom out.  Totally different mechanical operations and fits.

I enjoy sorting things.  Even if I'll never use a tool again, I... will collect them.  Though, there is hope.  I love tinkering.  It's just that I have to be able to stand, move around, think, find the tools, find the thing to fix... or break.  Breaking things is almost as fun as fixing things, especially if you go on, then, to figure out how to fix the breakage.  

Bah... got lost again, looking something over.  What?  Oh, pressing and padding.  Well, and a bit more.  I have a woolen pressing mat, but... have some doubts.  Had them on my own, or I wouldn't have been looking.  Further, for the new tables... I was worried about height, being tall and not wishing to be bent when working.  As well, I... was thinking of how to make the work tables not only high enough, but also, potentially, useful for ironing, or pressing, larger lots of fabrics.

Well, look at them apples.

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Still dreaming, never mind me.  Awoke at 20:00?  Or so.  Opened up the house a bit more, down here.  Upstairs was 70 to 73, but it felt so very warm?  Okay.  Downstairs it is 76, and 80... 76 outside.  Opening up may help this front room cool, but won't heat the rest of the house, and will bring in fresh air.  Loverly.  I have fans going everywhere, as if that always helps?  Well, yes, it helps, just... not all that much when the world, out of doors, is still.

One package today.  A couple more of the JIS screwdrivers, shorties, nubbies, call them what you will.  That, and a clamp on fitting for my tire inflation kit.  It holds onto the fill tit, so I don't have to spend five minutes in the cold, or heat, screwing the one that came with it down.  I'll have to see if it works before long.  If it works, it will be might convenient, quick, and easy to fill the tires.  It still takes a while, but the ease makes it more likely.

Partly cloudy.  No rain in the last few days?  The grass has greened a good deal, and grown.  May have to mow before too long.  Weeds in the driveway nearing my height... yeah.  If it doesn't rain by tomorrow evening, however, I will get the sprinklers going.  Mostly just on the front yard.  Though, I suppose, I should hit the side and back yard, if much more lightly.

I still have the list.  A trim, shower, and maybe eventually an actual shave.  Dishes set up.  And cleans of counters again, but all of them.  Go back over what had been cleaned, then hit the other counters and stovetop.  Maybe even clean the oven?  Let it steam for a bit, then hit it hard.  And, maybe, some work in the bathroom.  If I can hit that hard, wear myself out over a few sessions, then get on to bed, that would be a good way.  I will see, shortly.  Later.

Oh, I tried.

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Food, even if I didn't want to eat.  Coffee, while I wasn't thirsty.  Things like that in an attempt to organize and get going.  I have... things to do.  And no time to do them.  I... will not get them done today.  However, I might be able to place a call and at least not leave others in the lurch.  I'll.. do what I can, when I can.  Or... I don't know.  So tired I am not sure I can talk.

Mother called.  Needed some information.  Got it.  A letter, I am told.

Yes, I know why.  And, I'm not the only one.

No matter what I have done, I haven't been able to do enough.  I am crashing through the floor.  I've got to just go on to bed and hope, soon, I can... do as is needed.  I'll get it done.  I... will, must.  Good day.  Goodnight.

Sleepy, but...

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I have things I wish to do.  Nothing fancy, not much.  Staring with a shower, and setting up dishes.  Laundry is caught up, if not sorted well.  Washed but languishing.  Bleh.  I'm having a fatted coffee, to try to push through.  It really hasn't helped of late. Just... still... a bit warm.

It finally cooled a bit more, to 62 outside.  But was 70 until rather late, actually early into the morning.  It dropped a goodly bit, right at the end.  But not enough to cool the cave off.  It is 75 in most places, if only 76 here near the machine.  It just isn't cool.

Mostly to partly cloudy.  The mix makes it difficult to gauge.  But I'm going with between forty and seventy percent, depending on the moment and observational clumsiness.  So mixed, it's difficult to sort out well, completely.  It could rain, at any time... or shortly.  Though it could toss sprinkles from some of the larger clouds?  You never can be certain.

It... isn't August.  Not weatherwise.  It is fall.  This is September, or even October, weather.  But we were having August weather the last two weeks of last month.  Fair enough, I suppose.  I am always glad to escape the deeper summer.  As to it getting too cold, too fast?  Even with prices of fuel skyrocketing, I am getting better at maintaining a more constant temperature, in here, with less fuel, and using clothing, layering, to drive through the cold better.  Though, the concern about cold is less to do with me, than agriculture.

Which... is why I have food stores put up, though, too.  Enough?  You can't have enough.  All you can have is enough to, in worst case, buy time to sort things out to a better solution.  That is, assuming you can even keep what you have, protect it.  You... can't, not alone.  Still, it's... there are starts, opportunities, and such.  The world is getting dangerous, though.  More with what I am familiar.

Interesting, as I... walk into the dubious future, I see the sad, angry, unhappy, faces of people realizing... things I have finally become... comfortable with.  The world isn't fair.  If it, or people, in it, can kill you, they will or will try.  Sometimes for no reason at all.  Nothing you own is yours.  While the NWO meaning of that is false, the truth of it remains.  Not your possessions, property, even body.  Nothing.  If your life isn't Gods, it belongs to the dirt.  Your choice.  But it isn't yours.  If you can't defend it, keep it, it isn't yours.  And... you can't.  Oddly, you can keep it no better than I could throw it away.

Yes, I see people coming to my realizations.  Some of the hate that I already realize some things.  Some are trying to continue in their old lies.  But, as people fold into misery, I blossom.  Not... because I am happy with what I am seeing.  But because I am grateful for all I have had, what I still have, and with my relationship with God.  I really hope some people wake up to that.  It isn't what you have.  It isn't who you know.  It's not your position, wealth, access.  None of those are you, or important.  If you don't know what is, and embrace it?  Find it.

Even people having to be apart, from friends, peers, coworkers.  Depression?  I get it.  I had to go through it.  But with even less access to others than most people, even in lockdown.  I've been locked down for decades.  I feel sorry for what people are going through.  Even without actual lockdowns, fewer jobs, schools not being available, and such?  Alone.  I... get that.  Still, I'm telling you, don't let that break you.

Find a hobby.  Doesn't have to be fancy.  Find an inexpensive pocket knife, and begin to carve.  Learn to hand stitch things... first just learn the techniques, with what you have.  In each, or other hobbies, then improve your tools, or supplies, over time.  Start from the start.  Find others who could teach, or share.  Though, to be honest, this is a lonely world.  Often, at least for me, I am on my own.  Almost always.  You can do it.

No, I see them going into and through the darkness I have been through.  And despite their pride, or belief they don't deserve it, or fear, I know it is only going into and then beyond the darkness where growth begins.  Finding what is true, rejecting what is false, realizing it has almost nothing to do with you, if... by God's will, it seems still to be all for you.  Take that as desperately humiliating, though, not as a cause for personal pride... and you... will find your way through.  I don't think everyone can handle humility.  Unfortunate.  Then again, I... couldn't... for the longest time.  If my suicides were less of pride, and more from the pain.  Odd, I don't even have that anymore.  Still seem to make it through.  *grins*

Well... on to... a few things.  Don't let the world bring you low.  It's difficult.  No, it's impossible, unfair, and brutal.  Roll with it, relax, pray, and just... do.  It's not about you, but it is all for you.  Good morning and day.

Found it!

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I had given up looking for the biggest gun on a tank, or sorts.  But was still looking through videos regarding tanks.  I'm not sure I would have wanted to be a tank man.  To me, that would be claustrophobia inducing.  If that got hit, there would be no place to go.  And, inside, I would guess there would be little room, less so for taller guys.

Had to laugh.

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While looking around on y.t., found a vid that looked interesting.  I was looking for the tanks with the biggest big guns.  I tried several times to craft the right query.  Either they don't have such a thing, or don't allow it to show up in search results?  Hard to tell with those yahoos.  So, I just went for this one.  It might not be the absolute biggest, but it is probably among them... as a functional main battle tank.

It took a bit, two calls, and some chatter...

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But!  Either a refund or resend was finally put in play.  The automated system couldn't/didn't understand that the item was part of a package.  Or simply couldn't send the other items?  It did show, their site, as being sent, but nothing else in the package was sent with it.  So, another call.

I couldn't understand her well at all.  Chinese?  Most likely.  Where?  Who knows.  Her phone isn't in good shape, which didn't help.  And, she was about as interested in her job as... could be expected.  Still, we worked through it.  All she could do was draft a refund, so I agreed to that.  When it comes in, I will reorder the items.  

I did receive one of the various screwdrivers ordered.  It is the larger of the JIS drivers.  One with an impact action... tapping it on the metal plate butt end will cause a 12 degree twist... an impact function built in.  I am buying a few extra, as these... may be coming to an end of manufacturing.  And, for some mechanics and bikers, would become... valuable relics.  Unlike electronica... which just dies by bits, these can last more than a lifetime.  Sure, someone might manufacture these off-brand.  But build quality always goes down.

Done.  But it sure took a lot.  Trying to figure out how to make contact is always... difficult.  To get to the phone number is triple difficult.  To find it twice in one day is miraculous, at least for me.  But... done.  It wore me out though.  I'd love to go on back up and nap, but I don't think I can.  I just have to suffer the exhaustion.  Seems strange, but I'm telling you, it's the way of it.  Tired enough, from that, that I hurt a bit.  Exhausted, too.  But I can't sleep even so.

I don't mind.  As long as the thing was done.  Some of the last other packages arrived today.  Meat sticks!  Some dry, some moist.  I really do enjoy them.  Four a day, when I eat little else.  Eaten in pairs, with a fatted coffee.  It might not be much, but it is keto, easy, and tasty enough for my liking.  And I don't end up eating all that many calories.  Not sure I am losing any weight, metabolism is too low.  But, I don't gain, and I am eating much less.

As well, fabric, I hope, for tshirts.  Cotton, with 5% spandex.  Not too much stretch, just a touch.  I am going to compare this to 100% cotton, and to higher spandex, plus a cotton polyester spandex blend, to see what I like best, then get that in a larger amount to just make tshirts as I need.  Stains won't come out?  Make a new one.  Of course, I'll have to rig a pattern.  Probably two sizes, one and two x sizes.  Maybe three x as well?  My size fluctuates, a lot, at times.  Still, I should be able to begin testing this material shortly.  Though, if I just like it?  I'll not bother with the others... unless it stains too easily, in the longer run?

Well, on to a few meat sticks and some fatted coffee.  Later.

-------

Always have to check.  But, yes, it looks like it is in motion, the resupply for one part, and refund for the other.  But... the refund is going to take a long time, up to ten days now?  Oh well.  I'll just wait.  Though, in searching, I did find micro JIS screwdrivers, so have ordered a set.  No stripping of little screws, or so I hope.  Hmm, though... an idea?  Perhaps, with the small standard screwdrivers?  Grind them down a bit, so that they do fit without bottoming out?  Might well work for that.  Could even try it with the bigger screwdrivers.  Length of depth of cut, though, is only part of it.  But, that might well be enough.  I'll experiment, eventually?  I can hope.

Always have to check.  While amazon can be a bit problematic, and they are making it more and more difficult to get returns, so far, if you spend time digging through things, eventually, if you contact someone, they will still take care of things.  In part it has to do with having fewer employees.  They are cutting, hard.  Probably as with UPS.  It's to cover fuel costs, without jacking prices beyond reach... mostly... usually.

Though, I am noticing, local shops (including big boxes) are pricing things more according the amazon than their own.  Competition was killing them.  And, yes, ten or twenty percent will mean the difference between a sale and not.  Especially on bigger ticket items.  Especially with, generally, it being nearly as easy to return an amazon product, the difference being standing in line at a service desk versus a ups line.  That's it... unless amazon is forcing you to print a label, or doing other things which complicates returns.  Bleh.  However, now that prices are parity, big boxes might be the way.  Quicker fund returns, too, locally.

Even so.  I can't always find very specific products locally, and for irregular items, never at price parity.  So... amazon will still get some, perhaps most, of my business.  I just hope they are able to... sort some things out.  Same with UPS.  It is the cost of fuel that is killing things.  They are splitting the difference between raising prices, slowing delivery, cutting employment, and some other things.  They are doing, I believe, their level best.  Right now, that is, honestly, as good as it gets... sometimes, often, better than the options (going without or paying more).

Check.  Later.

Humid.

.

.

It is 80 outside, the low 70s upstairs, the mid 70s downstairs, but it feels humid.  It only reads 55% in here, but it feels 80.  Even upstairs was a bit sticky.  Definitely in the monsoon season, and deep in it.  I don't remember this, from before.  Though, usually, by this time of year, I am absolutely fried.  I am so beyond exhaustion that humid and a bit cooler is so much better, and yet I am in such bad shape, that I can't see the humidity itself.

I can't be sure when I went to bed.  At all.  I looked, down here and up there.  It just didn't track, stick in memory.  All good.  I, currently, am just sleeping when that is possible, as I am able, and for long as I can, to be honest.  Little reason to be up.  I have something I need to do, and have been pushing toward it.  But, so far, no.  There is always tomorrow, until there isn't.

A few more packages, but the screw driver set didn't arrive, or get returned.  Whoever it was delivered to must have liked it enough to just keep it.  I'll have to get a replacement shipped, hoping I don't have to deal with too much bs.  I applied yesterday, they told me I had to wait.  But they know this package wasn't delivered correctly.  They track them that well, these days.  They used to take a picture, showing it was on my porch or near the back door.  They have slashed workers, don't have that kind of time.

I turned a couple of fans on.  It is helping with the humidity.  Turns it from sticky to cooling.  A bit.  It'll be a while before it cools enough to do much.  So, for now, I get  to sit, read, research, and relax.  Later.

A rather pleasant morning.

.

.

It looks like it is more overcast than initially observed?  Perhaps the observation was incorrect.  Whatever the case, it is staying somewhat shaded from the sun and it's heat.  It is still 62 out there, here at 08:33.  It is reading quite humid, as well.  Indoors, with things shut off, it is mostly 72, save here near the computer, at 75 and 61% humidity.  Yes, it feels sticky enough, inside and out, that the reading could be true.  The lungs feel wet, beyond the skin feel.  Seriously, this reminds me of Iowa.

I called my mother, to check on her.  She is doing well.  Watering her "jungle", tomatoes and else.  She would figure out how to get green growing things set up there.  Perhaps they had them before she moved in, but they definitely have them now.  She has little things she does, around the place.  Not even in a retirement home will she quit.  Oh, not a complaint.  A joy.  I do what I can, it just isn't as much.  That I still try, to a greater extent, is from knowing her, watching her, appreciating what she does, even if thanklessly.  It's... the work.  It's the effort.  Even if it fails, better to do, and fail, then to not do.

Always glad to hear that she is doing well.  She was pleased to hear that my brother called.  It just... eases something inside of her.  I do try to be kinder, gentler, with her, than ever before.  She isn't here to argue, anymore.  Even if she seems cranky, it is merely because she is trying to teach.  Now I try to just listen, perhaps understand.  No, not grumpy today.  Just... a note as things go forward.  Advice, too, about dealing with parents.  I should have learned this before, but the situations were difficult.  I... did what I could.  Things have turned out well, just later.  Late bloomer?  Aye.

I think I may go on to bed.  For a bit.  I have mostly closed the house up.  And the upstairs, with ac on.  Hopefully that will relax the humidity.  Seriously, the lungs feel so very wet!  Ugh.  And the skin, even cooler here, is sticky.  I'll skip food, but may try chops and eggs when I wake.  Good morning, day, and goodnight.  Though I am hoping more for a nap.

Strange how that works.

.

.

I was warm, even hot, until it hit 73.  Then I became almost bitterly cold.  The outside reads 58 degrees.  And while the clouds are mostly gone, perhaps a quarter of the sky had clouds, half?  But they are flimsy, not too thick or threatening, or so it seems currently... as the sun begins to rise.  Still, it's a wet seeming day.

I don't think, in the end, we got all that much rain.  Enough to moisten everything.  Perhaps even as good as the sprinkler, if more fully broadcast.  Still, it is very moist, in the air.  This feels like an Iowa morning, not a Utah morning.  But that moisture adds a certain chill.  So, I shut the fans down and closed one window, the only one on the eastern side... though closing that is to keep the soon to be warming air, and sunshine, from heating that area.

With the fans off it is hovering right at 73, everywhere in the house.  Sticky, for the humidity, but cold too.

Haven't gotten to anything.  Not sure I will.  I'll set up a fatted coffee, see if the warmth and caffeine might help me get a shower, shave, and dishes started.

Oh, but... I realized something.  While I have been a bit broken, of late.  This last month, and some parts of last month?  Right.  Well, in spite of being incapable of working, there is something... missing.  Pain.  I haven't had pain regularly, or even irregularly.  Oh, I hurt, just a bit, the other day.  Which got me thinking.

Have I missed the pain?  Strangely, yes.  Not that I desire pain.  But, suffering... sort of makes me feel better about not being able to function.  Without it, I just feel lazy.  I'm not.  Something is broken in there.  I can't even eat, when I have tasty food, sometimes, because I can't digest it.  I know that.  Sometimes I can be starving, and simply not be able to cook... even if I have access to the stove, food, and clean pots and pans.  And I love to eat.  If, still, the only reason I am so fat is because I have zero metabolism.

I really am curious what happened with regards to the pain.  I had thought, perhaps, dairy.  But, no.  The pain stopped well before I ended cream.  I am eating a lot less, mostly because cooking has been a struggle.  Well, and food just... doesn't seem all that tasty.  The heat just... makes me not hungry.  Or, not able to eat even when hungry.

I remember my kidneys blaring, sending outrageous pain signals.  Other organs as well.  My ribs would hurt, from time to time, especially when I couldn't eat much... as is the current case minus the pain.  All sorts of pains, headaches to migraines nearly daily.  Neck, back, shoulders, knees, feet, ankles.  There wasn't much that didn't hurt.

Currently, just my shoulder joints hurt, and sometimes ribs... but not how they used to hurt.  The joints never used to bother me.  Now it is as if I slept in an inverted mummy sleeping bag, and my shoulders were pinned for it.  My ribs feel more like they are cramping.  While that is similar to the hunger pains, it's... from a different cause... more like dehydration cramps... right in there.  Very odd.  Even so, those pains are so much milder they usually fly under the radar.  I don't... notice, until I do something that stresses them, or am doing a body scan, finding what is wrong, or right.

Well, an swelling of the feet and ankles had mostly disappeared.  It comes back, lightly, from time to time.  But has diminished for the most part, save in just the left foot, and just the top of it... not the whole thing.  Ankles a bit, from time to time, but much less than before, and rarely.  That, I think, mostly, is due to dairy.  I think.  When I stopped, it slowly faded then was gone mostly, until this last week.  If, as mentioned, this is less severe than it has been in a very long time.

Pain... do I miss it?  Well, it... helped me understand my incapacity.  It helped me understand my health issues, at least through feel.  It... fed that which tended my guilty conscience.  Though, I have to tell you... after decades of pain, I... I think I can live without it, at this point, if that is allowed.  For while it is allowed.  I'll never be fully comfortable.  Hard to be awake, or sleep.  Difficult to be cool enough, without being cold, or hot.  Always a little uncomfortable in my skin, like any man just waiting around at the gallows, knowing it's just a matter of time, short or long, with little chance at... changing anything, doing anything about it.  At the gallows?  Or in the noose already?  More the latter.  Partly dead, more by the minute, no matter how many decades I may have left.

Still, I'll... take the lighter moments, and gratefully, at this point.  I don't need the pain, further, to prove or relieve.  I have done all I could do.  And I am... still working through, when possible, as I can.  Still, it's... strange, to not be in agony.  It's like living a life in a wind tunnel, to all of a sudden realizing the fans have shut off.  For a time, it isn't apparent, fully.  Then, when it hits, it seems so strange.  Quiet, of a sort.  I'll... take it.  Later.

Wind and rain.

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.

High, heavy, wind.  I... heard strange things from out there, suspected it was wind.  Opened up and almost lost the door.  Closed it up.  I had just been out back, checking the temperature.  It was just 77, pretty much what is has been for the last few hours.  But... it had started to sprinkle.  And... there was a few gusts, suspiciously high.

I set up...

---------

Power went down.  For... from shortly after 21:30 to 02:15 or so.  I know, now, how to call it in, so did.  More to see how long it would be down.  They thought until 01:00, so I went on to bed.  Well, first I had to find my phone, and find my way to lighting.  It was completely dark in here.

One box bumped, on my way.  Really, not bad.  I had thought I would have to go up stairs, near my bed.  I forgot about the battery operated night lights, on the stairs.  Not only do those work without external electric, they are portable.  I have another pack of those.  I really would like to get those set up down here, around the house.

Electrical outages are rare, and usually not this long.  The trick, tonight, might have been finding crew.  Beside being summer, it was so late.  People, often, turn their phones off for the night.  I'm not upset about a bit longer.  I just hope they were able to work safely.  We ask a lot of some folk, giving them very little credit for the miracles they perform.  While not Christs, sometimes the notion is there.  Doing tight-roping, and playing with high voltage late at night, in the dark, and rain?  With generally little thanks.  Well, I am grateful.  *tips hat graciously*  Some blue-collar are the soldiers and sailors of the civilian world.  They get paid, well, for it.  Still, they take great risks and do much to keep the world sane.

It was 74 everywhere, save right here by the computer, when electricity came back on.  It was 75 here.  :)  It just refused to by normalized, here.  It is 61 out there, or was ten minutes ago.  With the fans going, and everything open, upstairs and down, it should cool off soon.

Oh, as to the outside?  As soon as I checked the temp, and felt the gusts, and almost lost the door to being blown clean and hard into the wall, a gust of hard wind, and rain... or big sprinkles... washed through.  Ten feet from the open door and I was getting wet.  Sideways rain.

A few bolts of lightning, and thunder from that and from else, along with very heavy constant wind, then... *poof* it all went dark.  I would bet branches broke lines, though maybe a transformer blew, or as well?  And it wouldn't surprise me if several lines broke, not just one.  That was some wicked wind.

It came from the south, and went for... ten to thirty minutes?  Then evacuated to the east?  It sure seemed like it.  I have never seen a storm do a curveball like that.  Not to my memory.  If you are a storm collector, while tiny, in length, time, it was incredible for it's intensity, speed, and change of direction.  I'll... save that one, as I may.

I had just heated some of the pork roast.  I had to eat it in the dark.  But... that was fine.  Two slices.  Had hoped to have fresh veggies with it.  Might do that yet tonight.  I got Sassy to visit, gave her pets and massages, when she wasn't grooming herself.  She liked the light.  I kept one by the bed.  But they time out after, say, thirty seconds.  For whatever reason, even when it was sort of bright from the outside (strangely, for the moon couldn't have been out, and the streetlights were out as well), she figured out how to turn the light on.  I don't understand cats, or girls, or girl cats, all of the time.  But I don't need to do so?  Nope.

Well... on to waking up, or... something.  Later.

Awake again.

.

.

It was about 16:00 when I went down.  It is 19:30 as I wake again.  I haven't hit such a crash in a long time.  Oh, sure, I get tired, and go on to bed, but not at an odd hour.  Then, I did wake up very early compared to usual, with days an nights being twisted again.  Rough.

More, while it got warmer up there, to 71 near me?  I was freezing.  I couldn't get warm until I tucked in, buried my hands in my arm pits, tucked my feet together, and made sure the blankets were covering me everywhere.  I was absolutely frigid.  Not sure why I was so warm this morning and so cold now.  It has nothing to do with the temperatures, those were actually inverse to my sensitivities.

It is 80, outside, currently.  Mostly overcast?  Enough to be blocking the sun solidly, currently.  Though it had been cooler earlier?  Right, but it usually does get warmer through the day... right.  Still, I have some idea that it has yoyoed a bit.  I think I had read nearly 82 even earlier, but then it dropped to 79.  Just a few degrees, probably relating to being overcast?  Cool wind can lower that a bit though too.  Never can quite tell.  It... almost sounds like thunder, out there, from time to time.  Can't be positive though.

Well, up.  But... what to do?  It is 81 in this front room, 75 in the rest of the house.  Too early and warm to start working.  Maybe in a couple of hours?  If it cools enough to open up, maybe.  Later.

I cannot stay awake!

.

.

No idea why.  I was up, awake, sorting things.  Then, like a wave, exhaustion hit and started setting in.  I tried a few things, to no good.  I am going back to bed.  No choice.  Can't even remain in my chair, I will fall out if I continue to try.  Goodnight, again.

They are really having problems.

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.

Between amazon and ups, I'm not sure what is going on.  Two of the five packages which were supposed to have been delivered today didn't get here.  One of them simply wasn't here, the other had been torn open, and the product removed.  I notified, but... we'll see.  One of the items was sort of singular, so I doubt if that will be replaced.  The others?  Assuming I can actually contact anyone there?

Though, to be honest, it almost seems as if the delivery people are shifting things to other people.  As gifts to friends?  Or... some sort of strange way of receiving the items themselves?  I don't know.  But it seems like drivers are becoming questionable again.  Lower pay?  A broken near union?  So they steal, like they used to?  There was a time when getting a ups package was iffy.  Looks like those times are returning.

Then again, amazon is burning, from the inside?  Something seriously wrong is happening in there.  I suppose China closing shop, while playing covidiot nation of the century, isn't helping.  Though energy problems aren't helping, or the collapsing real-estate markets, or... really, the economy as a whole.  Not sure if this is going south faster than imagined, but it is cutting the legs out from under the big box stores?  Sure is looking like it.  The problem is, currently, they are the only source for some things.  I may begin looking at other sources, though.

The problem with online sources is they are even less secure than amazon has become.  The chance to have my card numbers stolen is increased.  The chance to simply be robbed, without ever receiving product, as well, is increased.  And local shops, when they carry some things, the price is insane.  I just am not sure.  Then again, in truth, perhaps the gig is simply up.  Buying and selling some things may just be at an end, more or less.  I'll find out in the near future.

Both items were listed as delivered.  I am pretty sure the empty package arrived empty.  If someone was going to steal from my porch, they would steal everything, not a partial order.  Yea.

Awake, early.

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.

It was cool, given that it is daytime, upstairs.  Well, and that I was up there.  It was 69/70 near me, 66 in the main.  But if felt so warm!  Usually, at that temp, I needed four blankets, which I now have up there.  Not today.  I had kicked one blanket off completely, and the other blankets were only haphazardly arranged.  Not for heat, warmth, but fore coverage... allowing as much cool air as possible.

Awake by around 13:00.  Hoping to... get going, if not sure that is possible.  It is 79 outside, and partly cloudy.  Looks like it could gather into a rain before long, though... not probably, just possibly?  Inside it is 77 up front here, and 74 in the main.

Dreams, of flying.  At great speed, and anywhere I wish.  I visited a few countries in South America, took a minor tour of Europe, went to a few other places in Asia.  Imagine being able to fly four or five times the speed of the fastest plane, and maintain it for many hours.  Still, when I got to a place, I would spend days to weeks there.  Then go on to the next place.  No reason to fly, for it's own purposes.  Like driving, when you are a child, it seems like magic, or fun.  But, when you get old enough, you... just want to drive home.  Anything else is profession or duty, or... until you get stuck at home?  Bleh.

I had hoped to get out today, but I don't think so.  Every part of the plan fell apart.  It... does that.  I would like to work, get a shower, do dishes, sort things.  But I don't know.  Odd how things work, or don't.  But, tomorrow?  I can hope.  A bit tired, a bit achy, a bit sleepy, but... not bad.  Just... a bit off the game.  At least I have food ready... when I can eat.  Later.

It was 62.

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.

At midnight.  Now, it is 61 out there.  I finished watering about an hour ago.  Just watered the front lawn, as the rest looks pretty good.  Hit two areas to make sure it got enough.  Then, just now, shut down shop as I think about sleep.  Rather early, but... good, if I can do it.

Through the evening, I did get the pork chops, chicken thighs, and pork roast grilled.  They all came out pretty good.  I sampled some of each, bagging and refrigerating the remnants.  Very tasty.  A bit rich, on their own.  Still, worth in from time to time.  I'll make veggies with some of it tomorrow.  Perhaps reheat the chops, and have those with eggs.

I had hoped to shower tonight.  I don't think it will happen?  I will brush my teeth, finish meds, and probably just go on to bed.  I guess, in the next few days to weeks, I'll find out just how tyrannical this nation has become.  Either all the rest of the politicians will step in line, or they will begin breaking ranks.  We'll see.

Goodnight.

Either they made a huge mistake...

.

.

Or they really have all the levers and don't care.

Attacking Donald Trump, as they have, is either one of the biggest mistakes bureaucrats could have made, or they have all avenues controlled.  Which is it?  We will find out.  If they do not murder him, or at least imprison him, wounding him will only cause them far more problems than not.  Further, just imprisoning him?  I'll still vote for him, if I had to write him in.  I am not alone.

To be honest, barring murdering him, they just about guaranteed his election.  Now, I was going to vote for him, either way.  The end of Roe v. Wade... proved a point.  That was huge.  While I still don't believe he will ever build the wall, he just won't, the RvW thing was enough to show... not only a serious intent, but a capacity to do big, real, things.

However, I think a lot of people were on the fence about him.  He does tweet mean.  And he says the truth, and what he thinks.  People, in America, have become so corrupted, that truth is difficult for them to hear.  Shithole countries?  Then again, many lefties live in cities, which seem, now, to encapsulate shitholery.  They can't walk their downtowns without watching for human defecation, used syringes, the homeless, and aggressive bummery.  It's making them filthy rich, somehow, so they really don't want to hear such terms.  I had an uncle, who ran a pig farm.  The smell?  He said it was money.  I have to think a lot of top democrats think the same, only about human defecation odors.  Yea...

To be honest, saving them murdering him?  I think they just got Trump elected.  If... I was even more paranoid than I am, or paranoid in a slightly different way?  I'd suspect Trump was behind this.  Especially if he knows there is nothing to be found, and that anything "found", would be a plant.  I swear, he... might even have to balls to run with that.  I just don't have the feel that he did it.

Yes, unless they make him dead, they have just messed up in ways they can't even begin to understand.  If they kill him?  They are killing what is left of the olive branch from the right.  Though, I think, finally, even for him, he understands.  If he gets elected, into office, he won't let things slide again.  Heads will roll, departments themselves will be abolished, and many other changes will happen.  We will just have to work through the pain of what bureaucrats will try to do, to destroy the nation, on their way out.

Assuming elections are even currently possible.  The supreme court, and republican legislators and state and federal levels, are all kompromat, to some degree.  Democrats are completely sold.  Not to China, to Satan.  We will see how this plays.  But, if they made a mistake, only wounded the emperor?  It'll be a mistake they won't ever be allowed to make again.  Or is it all just a show?  RvW suggests not, or not completely.  We'll see.

A bit late.

.

.

Which is fine.  Down at 08:21, I think.  Up at 17:00, nearly exactly, or a bit after.  It is 86 out there, humidity readings... I am no longer taking.  I have seen high humidity, in a desert, when I visited Desert Cat in the middle of their monsoon season.  This is not that.  If, too, I doubt if it is 28% humidity that the news has been suggesting.  The inside readings, of 35% to 57% or so, are probably more accurate... today, down here, it is reading 47%.  That I can believe.  Upstairs was 55%, this morning when going to bed, before shutting the windows.  Maybe, but maybe there is more moisture one level up?  Still, I believe my indoor readings over the outdoor meter I have, or what the news offers.

I have been thirsty as a typical devil lately.  If... typical devils are generally very thirsty.  I had been just drinking water.  Since I hadn't been doing much.  But... I am beginning to add electrolytes and sea salt, to my first drink of the day.  Then sipping my fill.  We'll see if that works.  I may also add vinegar to a sip, later on, with more electrolytes.  If water doesn't cut the grail, drinking even more won't.  No, I had to add something.  Just drinking a couple gallons wasn't doing a thing for the problem.

Laundry was completed.  I took a few things up this morning, but had to dig through to actually dress for the day.  Not doing much today.  Though I would like a shower, one more load of laundry... whites, after the shower, and to set up dishes.  It's not a lot, but it's a continuation of a slow start.

Found half a mouse in the kitchen.  Sassy was doing her job.  I'll never give her a problem for that, nor do I expect her to eat it all.  She is generally well fed, so that is more a... mobile vitamin and mineral supplement?  I am pleased that, even well fed, she goes after the little beastesess.  The riddance factor, but as I have said, I like cats because we share the hunting instinct.  I may not hunt much, in that way, mostly for health and bureaucratic reasons.  But I have altered how I hunt, and what I hunt, so that I may continue.  I search the best quality items for my projects, within a price range, and... what else might work versus the very expensive.

A recent catch? JIS screwdrivers.  Hmm?  Well, with older bikes, and some newer, though it works well with philips screws... better, it is said, than philips screw drivers, it is much needed for older (and maybe newer) Japanese bikes.  Philips screwdrivers will strip JIS screws (and often their own).  JIS?  Japanese Industrial Standard... a thing that is, actually, from the past.  They ended it as an official tool type in, 2012?  Or somesuch.  But, for now, they are still making them.

How long will they continue to make them?  Who knows.  Remember, the world industrial complex, due to free money and the creation of megacorporations (essentially, the business side of a one-world-government) are trying to devolve function and increase demand through lessor tools and equipment availability (the buy new, throw away old, don't fix, repair) manufacturing processes (despite gaining power because of supposed limits on commodities), better tools, nuts, bolts, and repair items, will be going away.  Start with tools.  But, then, sort out finding repair items.

So, hunt.  Right.  Yes.  Not the biological, but other things.  And, hunt I do.  And I understand why, and choose as wisely as possible.  Will see, shortly, if these were worth the trouble.  But they weren't purchase without thought.  Oh, if you have a Japanese bike?  And want to know if these were used/are required (whether you are using them or not)?  There will be a dot near the screw, in the upper right side, I believe.  It will be, I think, right on the bike, near the screw.  

Anyway, she hunted and I hunted.  We both got our target.  She made more of a mess, but all okay.

A few things today.  And the meats were thawed, so I put them in the fridge, but hope to cook those tonight.  Thicker chops, chicken drumsticks (or thighs), and a pork roast.  Should last me the week.  Mostly.  As well, I have enough beef crumbles to make another larger meal.  'Pasghetti'!  I didn't make that this last time, but next time, probably tomorrow, I will.

Now to wake, though.  Later.

It is 52 out there.

.

.

Pleasant, if I am still in heavier pj bottoms and a long sleeved tshirt.  Thankfully it is cooler.

I have gotten the wash into the dryer, but just.  The other set was finally dry.  I suppose I could have been a little quicker with that, but... I don't have all that going yet tonight.  It is something.  And adds to a few other things I have done.  Not much, but much more than nothing.

I won't be doing much else.  Save closing shop, if I think I have already done that?  Not upstairs, but elsewhere?  I am just staying up long enough to get those clothes dry, and get them upstairs.  While not perfect, at least I am clean, and have clean clothes.  I... need to get to town, soon.  Things to do.  Always things to do.

So very tired.  I'll enjoy rest when I can get to bed.  It's just at 07:08.  I would have been to bed an hour or two ago, if it hadn't been for laundry.  Still, all good.  Goodnight.

An odd night.

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.

Not much done.  Hitting laundry, again, now that I remembered to check.  It didn't smell bad, so... that's good.  I hope.  Will know more when I pull it.  I did get the packages upstairs, and the tables.  And I have been feeding Sassy well.  And I did have dinner.  Still a bit hungry, not sure I will eat more though.

It is down to 52 outside, 71 hear near the computer.  So I shut the fans down, and closed the front door.  I'll shut up shop before too long, nearly completely.  And, when I go to bed, I'll shut it down up there, turning on ac.  Nothing fancy, it just means I don't have to wake up, in heat shock, if tomorrow goes hot.

I was right, about the news though.  It was supposed to go back to the low 90s.  It hasn't, or yet.  It has been ten to twenty degrees cooler.  Agenda, not truth.

Well, at least I am sort of recovering from the heat.  If it remains in the 80s, or lower, I will be able to begin working more, soon.  Perhaps tomorrow, maybe early next week.  I'll just have to try, find out.  I would like to get the laundry finished tonight, get a shower, and set up dishes.  Possible.  Probable?  I've been suggesting it is probable for a while now.  It... hasn't worked out.  But... I can hope.