.
.
At least I can read and seek wisdom. I finished the book of Wisdom just now. I will conclude me reading there for the night. I hope to be up earlier than today. I have to be as I will be having visitors if I do not leave. In any case, I do need to be up and dressed. But that being done and early, there will be little cause not to attempt to get some of that which I need to do completed, at least the parts of which I am a party.
I have truly been enjoying the reading. Some of it has been a little dry. Much of it is very good. Some of the text jumps out and assails me, brings great joy, revives my sense of justice, or offers hope. I see plainly my foolish and wrong ways. It is a book I can and do trust. Is everything absolutely literal? I should hope not. And some if it has passed away in our part of the world and for now, such as selling one's self into slavery, finding wives for sons, and such. Much of it has not passed. Truth is never dated, reality can only be glossed over for so long, and justice will be had.
It is interesting to note that they often were is in bad of straights, some might say worse, than what we have today. I can see how America, heretofore anyway, is very much based upon the various books of the bible. God did not want his people to have a king, only allowing it. God did not seem to want to make worship mandatory, or any of the other prescriptions, if He strongly encouraged those things. The U.S.A. used to hold much of God's thoughts born out in the bible, both New and to some extent Old Testament wisdom, governance, and workings. That, much of it, has been lost. It is plane to see. One of the things I am looking for regards what I see today and what is written in the bible regarding it. I may do a post with some of those quotes and how I see them being applied to these times.
I am seeing many texts which, to me, strongly argue that some were not blind to Moses' knowledge from his close walk with God. I have seen numerous passages, when read as a Christian today, that could only have been speaking of Jesus Christ. As well, through the books, one sees the realization that death was not the end and that success in life was not the reward for goodness. As time went along, even in the Old Testament, people began to see clearly what is now known as Christian foundations. It does makes sense, though it might be easy to think that God pretty much told them everything at once at that was it. Not so. Bit by bit, he added, filled out, fulfilled, and corrected. Only over time were the people, in some odd way, even ready for Christ's arrival.
Something I think about, was how many of the religious community could not see Jesus for who He was. I am sure some of it was God's will, it needed to be in order for the sacrifice. But too, I do believe it is the duty of the religious elders to hold tight to what is written and to keep the flock together. It is there nature to be wary. And, this is right in some senses. Perhaps the religious leaders of today have no more of a capacity to be ready for the second coming of Jesus. But I do believe, if all they accomplish is holding the sheep together, keeping them as safe as they may, and teaching them properly, they will be richly rewarded. It would have been, and will be again, perhaps, quite difficult to hand over the staff which they have clung to for so long, even to the rightful Owner of it. Then again, the righteous leaders might well not be here by that time. Between the calling and the slaughter that comes before it, few will be left. I still do not have that all down, but I am looking.
As I have been reading, and thinking about my internet problems, I realize these as all things are in God's hands. I will leave the worry and anger about this there. Should I be entangled by intellectual or religious enemies, as with all men who seek God and wisdom, these I will leave to His mercy and to justice. I have no perfection with which to raise a clamor about injustice. Only God has that, and He will do so when it is time. I suppose that is what I will do with medicine as well. What was it that Socrates said while being entreated to his own special treatment? Ah, yes... something wise I am sure. Ha! In any case, let God's will be done.
Well, th... tha... that's all folks! Good night, Goomba.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Rather than just mention it...
.
.
Rather than just discuss that I found complaints about myself in the bible, I thought to write them here, mostly, and debate their veracity (not the truth of the wisdom, merely whether it applies, how, and to what depth perhaps). I do not think this is going out on a limb. We all do this, whether we use the bible or some other source. And most, within their own council, ponder these notions just the same. No need to comment to the fool, but if it pleases you, cast your thought (or stone as the case may be). I will withstand any stones I deserve... uhrm, if due to some of this, I might dodge a little. :p
On the dual edged sword of things, where the notion could brake either way, and all from Proverbs, are Proverbs 20: 29; 28: 1, 14; 23; 29: 18. I am using the NAB (New American Bible, Catholic) version. But I will write these out. The first one, 20: 29, "The glory of young men is their strength, and the dignity of old men is gray hair." I liked that one as I have had gray hair since I was in my mid teens. I know, it means nothing in truth, it was a feel good thing. In 28:1, "The wicked man flees although no one pursues him; but the just man, like a lion, feels sure of himself." This one is a little mixed for me, for I did flee from Iowa. And yet, in certain situations, I will stand and deliver. Though other justice (to my classifications) Proverbs do indicate that when evil flourishes and gains power, the just do hide. Still, I wonder here. The next is just so, 28:28, "When wicked men gain pre-eminence, other men hide; but at their fall the just flourish.", and there are many in that vein. This one, 28:14 "Happy the man who is always on his guard; but he who hardens his heart will fall into evil." is a boldening and warning to me. My paranoia must be held in check, and yes, I get that. But neither should I go about without the attendance of caution. And this one, 28:23 gives me pause about my writings here, "He who rebukes a man gets more thanks in the end than one with a flattering tongue." It makes me worry, in the lighter sense, and continue to observe what I write, on both spectrums. Would that make it a four edged sword? This last one actually gladens me, and brings strength to a certain friendship or dozen and my own ways, 29:18, "Without prophecy the people become demoralized, but happy is he who keeps the law." Okay, so I cannot in truth, keep the law, not perfectly. But knowing the law is the beginning, investigating the law is a furtherance, and seeking to keep it is also a help, if in the end these are minor in truth, it is what we have. Even the Jewish learnings declare that an oblation without goodness is profane, so that if we fail but seek, we will find. And, Christ, of course, carries this to fulfillment.
Those where the ones which were both uplifting to current life, for me, and warnings about the particulars as well. The next are, if not all, some of the ones which sting like thorns. I know where I fail, or might be failing, and so I will write it here.
I will have to do this in sections. Ha! I know, but... There is much. But I will list them, then go through them and separate for length as need be. Proverbs 14: 23; 15: 6, 12, 18, 19, 17:10; 18: 1,2; 21: 25; 25: 28, and 29: 1. All of these cause me to think I am over the line, or close to it. There are more, others, and such, and many are repeated often (due to importance?).
Well, I will start at the start. In Proverbs 14:23, "In all labor there is profit, but mere talk tends only penury."; Prv 15:6, "In the house of the just there are ample resources, but the earnings of the wicked are in termoil." (though it does seem I always have at least a nickle and a can of food, I am never sure about larger things, I am surely a fool if not wicked outright); Prv 15:12, "The senseless man loves not to be reproved, to wise men he will not go." (dealing with me not going to Church); 15: 18, "An ill tempered man stirs up strife, but a patient man allays discord." (I seem a trouble maker, some of it might be just, but I cannot say that for all, perhaps most, of that), 15: 19, "The way of the sluggard is hemmed in as with thorns, but the path of the diligent is a highway." (Is it just illness that causes me to be as I am? I worry. I do try, but is my effort enough?); 17:10, "A single reprimand does more for a man of intelligence than a hundred lashes for a fool." (Yeah, okay, I know this one. Ewhh, ewhhh, teacher, me, me, me! *sigh*). Next group follows.
In Proverbs 18:1, "In estrangement one seeks pretexts, with all persistence he picks a quarrel." (And he does it too often.); 18:2, "The fool takes no delight in understanding, but rather displaying what he thinks." (How could that not be true. I would like to think sometimes I am better, but I know the truth too often.); 21:25, "The sluggards propensity slays him, for his hands refuse to work." (Back to that again, and there is another about the sluggard fearing lions in the courtyard, several times, which goads the one about being on guard to the left (bad) a bit); 29:1, "The man who remains stiff necked and hates rebuke will be crushed suddenly beyond cure." (You think? I do wonder.).
There are others, these are the main concerns, at least from this part of the book. I do consider what I write. I do worry that my thoughts are being confused with what is correct. Though too, I know some of what I write which is good is despised these days. Being that one cannot claim himself wise (as perhaps I have done in err of course), it is difficult to know with certainty, except in reading the bible, praying, and attending to wiser men. As for the sluggard suggestions, I really do not know if my illness was a curse or a blessing. It suggest that sluggards will starve, do poorly, and such, and yet I have been upheld, fed, and kept from falling into utter ruin. And I do push, but enough? If too I know that pushing too hard is no different and often more dangerous to me, than not pushing at all at times.
In conclusion, I know I fail. I know what I deserve. And I thank God for His Son who has offered me a truth and a way I know I could never find or create on my own. Still, many things bother me. Many things make me question my writings, my thinking, and my ways. I cannot really know. I realize, just as the Jews where to Moses' knowing, I am blind to his and more even to Christs. My only true recourse is to pray regretfully, yet not abandon His proscribed ways or words. For these too are scorned. I must just settle with doing my level best, learning as I may (whether with the single word or the 100 lashes it seems), and going from there.
Your humble fool, Doom.
Have a great day.
.
Rather than just discuss that I found complaints about myself in the bible, I thought to write them here, mostly, and debate their veracity (not the truth of the wisdom, merely whether it applies, how, and to what depth perhaps). I do not think this is going out on a limb. We all do this, whether we use the bible or some other source. And most, within their own council, ponder these notions just the same. No need to comment to the fool, but if it pleases you, cast your thought (or stone as the case may be). I will withstand any stones I deserve... uhrm, if due to some of this, I might dodge a little. :p
On the dual edged sword of things, where the notion could brake either way, and all from Proverbs, are Proverbs 20: 29; 28: 1, 14; 23; 29: 18. I am using the NAB (New American Bible, Catholic) version. But I will write these out. The first one, 20: 29, "The glory of young men is their strength, and the dignity of old men is gray hair." I liked that one as I have had gray hair since I was in my mid teens. I know, it means nothing in truth, it was a feel good thing. In 28:1, "The wicked man flees although no one pursues him; but the just man, like a lion, feels sure of himself." This one is a little mixed for me, for I did flee from Iowa. And yet, in certain situations, I will stand and deliver. Though other justice (to my classifications) Proverbs do indicate that when evil flourishes and gains power, the just do hide. Still, I wonder here. The next is just so, 28:28, "When wicked men gain pre-eminence, other men hide; but at their fall the just flourish.", and there are many in that vein. This one, 28:14 "Happy the man who is always on his guard; but he who hardens his heart will fall into evil." is a boldening and warning to me. My paranoia must be held in check, and yes, I get that. But neither should I go about without the attendance of caution. And this one, 28:23 gives me pause about my writings here, "He who rebukes a man gets more thanks in the end than one with a flattering tongue." It makes me worry, in the lighter sense, and continue to observe what I write, on both spectrums. Would that make it a four edged sword? This last one actually gladens me, and brings strength to a certain friendship or dozen and my own ways, 29:18, "Without prophecy the people become demoralized, but happy is he who keeps the law." Okay, so I cannot in truth, keep the law, not perfectly. But knowing the law is the beginning, investigating the law is a furtherance, and seeking to keep it is also a help, if in the end these are minor in truth, it is what we have. Even the Jewish learnings declare that an oblation without goodness is profane, so that if we fail but seek, we will find. And, Christ, of course, carries this to fulfillment.
Those where the ones which were both uplifting to current life, for me, and warnings about the particulars as well. The next are, if not all, some of the ones which sting like thorns. I know where I fail, or might be failing, and so I will write it here.
I will have to do this in sections. Ha! I know, but... There is much. But I will list them, then go through them and separate for length as need be. Proverbs 14: 23; 15: 6, 12, 18, 19, 17:10; 18: 1,2; 21: 25; 25: 28, and 29: 1. All of these cause me to think I am over the line, or close to it. There are more, others, and such, and many are repeated often (due to importance?).
Well, I will start at the start. In Proverbs 14:23, "In all labor there is profit, but mere talk tends only penury."; Prv 15:6, "In the house of the just there are ample resources, but the earnings of the wicked are in termoil." (though it does seem I always have at least a nickle and a can of food, I am never sure about larger things, I am surely a fool if not wicked outright); Prv 15:12, "The senseless man loves not to be reproved, to wise men he will not go." (dealing with me not going to Church); 15: 18, "An ill tempered man stirs up strife, but a patient man allays discord." (I seem a trouble maker, some of it might be just, but I cannot say that for all, perhaps most, of that), 15: 19, "The way of the sluggard is hemmed in as with thorns, but the path of the diligent is a highway." (Is it just illness that causes me to be as I am? I worry. I do try, but is my effort enough?); 17:10, "A single reprimand does more for a man of intelligence than a hundred lashes for a fool." (Yeah, okay, I know this one. Ewhh, ewhhh, teacher, me, me, me! *sigh*). Next group follows.
In Proverbs 18:1, "In estrangement one seeks pretexts, with all persistence he picks a quarrel." (And he does it too often.); 18:2, "The fool takes no delight in understanding, but rather displaying what he thinks." (How could that not be true. I would like to think sometimes I am better, but I know the truth too often.); 21:25, "The sluggards propensity slays him, for his hands refuse to work." (Back to that again, and there is another about the sluggard fearing lions in the courtyard, several times, which goads the one about being on guard to the left (bad) a bit); 29:1, "The man who remains stiff necked and hates rebuke will be crushed suddenly beyond cure." (You think? I do wonder.).
There are others, these are the main concerns, at least from this part of the book. I do consider what I write. I do worry that my thoughts are being confused with what is correct. Though too, I know some of what I write which is good is despised these days. Being that one cannot claim himself wise (as perhaps I have done in err of course), it is difficult to know with certainty, except in reading the bible, praying, and attending to wiser men. As for the sluggard suggestions, I really do not know if my illness was a curse or a blessing. It suggest that sluggards will starve, do poorly, and such, and yet I have been upheld, fed, and kept from falling into utter ruin. And I do push, but enough? If too I know that pushing too hard is no different and often more dangerous to me, than not pushing at all at times.
In conclusion, I know I fail. I know what I deserve. And I thank God for His Son who has offered me a truth and a way I know I could never find or create on my own. Still, many things bother me. Many things make me question my writings, my thinking, and my ways. I cannot really know. I realize, just as the Jews where to Moses' knowing, I am blind to his and more even to Christs. My only true recourse is to pray regretfully, yet not abandon His proscribed ways or words. For these too are scorned. I must just settle with doing my level best, learning as I may (whether with the single word or the 100 lashes it seems), and going from there.
Your humble fool, Doom.
Have a great day.
Just not getting it.
.
.
I just cannot get anything done. I am not sure how much the medicine is the problem, but it is more complicated than that. Since they were not sure I would be taking the medicine, they sent none of it through the mail and when I went in for the appointment, they gave me none. So, I ran out of medicine (as I told them I would only to receive a "So what!" look). How much cutting cold turkey from a medicine I have had to fight to take is a factor, I cannot tell. Something else about the treatment. I went online and looked up the medicine. I did not look at general information this time, but went to a place that gave very specific information. What I learned was the reason the woman had not heard about people having the reactions I had was because those are warning signs which suggest the taker should call their doctor regarding. I need to call and talk to a doctor, not a social worker or a nurse practitioner, about these effects. I am not sure that will get done, on my side or theirs though. Is this part of how Bane died, medication ignorance on the part of his doctors? Perhaps that is intended, perhaps it just does not matter?
There is nothing to be done about hacking. Against the law, yeah, so is marijuana everywhere and spitting on the streets in San Fransisco, I suppose. It just looks good on the books and made some constituents happy without meaning anything. Unless, of course, the law wants to mess with you, then it is applied. So, I suppose, unless the hacker is in their sights for something else, nothing is done. And, do not bother your ISP, they are busy creating more hackable customers.
Nothing will be done, again, today. So be it. I did set the alarm but simply could not rise. Part of my problem though, is when I hit the snooze, I think I also switched the thing over to radio. The radio is useless in waking me up. With just fuzz and crackle, I drift right back to sleep. If it is on a channel, that just drifts me into dreams.
I was awake late, again, though. I lost track of time reading the last of Psalms and well into Proverbs. I have started to note the books, chapters, and verses I really like or which speak to me. Some of it is quite stirring. I should have thought of this earlier, but I will revisit much of this. It is not always simply the verses in my favor, either. Nor is it just the verses which bolster my causes. No, I also write the numbers of the ones which call me to pay attention, which question or prohibit my actions or beliefs. There is much to learn and I have much to learn. To be honest, the vast majority of verses call me to correction. Some of them I will eventually transcribe to places I look daily. Others, the longer ones, I will eventually attempt to memorize. The shorter ones may be memorized too, but that is not exactly a difficult task, now is it?
And, yes, I was pleased with Psalms, as D.C. indicated I might be! Not that it is important in the overall scheme of things, but it was very good reading. Though David was very militant, which surprises me in some ways. As D.C. indicated, God did seem to favor him (if historians (within the bible) did not, so much). He was always, it seems, either at war without or within his kingdom. Now, he did always supplicate, but too he always suggested that he himself was blameless. He is troubling figure for me because he reminds me of someone else I know and have only so much trust in, if I am not a king. Doh! Well, now you know why I feel the way I do, along with the rest and now in full.
I suppose I will get back to reading. With all the enemies around me, whispering falsely online in my tongue, steeling into my computer, and trying to poison me with medicine. Ha!
.
I just cannot get anything done. I am not sure how much the medicine is the problem, but it is more complicated than that. Since they were not sure I would be taking the medicine, they sent none of it through the mail and when I went in for the appointment, they gave me none. So, I ran out of medicine (as I told them I would only to receive a "So what!" look). How much cutting cold turkey from a medicine I have had to fight to take is a factor, I cannot tell. Something else about the treatment. I went online and looked up the medicine. I did not look at general information this time, but went to a place that gave very specific information. What I learned was the reason the woman had not heard about people having the reactions I had was because those are warning signs which suggest the taker should call their doctor regarding. I need to call and talk to a doctor, not a social worker or a nurse practitioner, about these effects. I am not sure that will get done, on my side or theirs though. Is this part of how Bane died, medication ignorance on the part of his doctors? Perhaps that is intended, perhaps it just does not matter?
There is nothing to be done about hacking. Against the law, yeah, so is marijuana everywhere and spitting on the streets in San Fransisco, I suppose. It just looks good on the books and made some constituents happy without meaning anything. Unless, of course, the law wants to mess with you, then it is applied. So, I suppose, unless the hacker is in their sights for something else, nothing is done. And, do not bother your ISP, they are busy creating more hackable customers.
Nothing will be done, again, today. So be it. I did set the alarm but simply could not rise. Part of my problem though, is when I hit the snooze, I think I also switched the thing over to radio. The radio is useless in waking me up. With just fuzz and crackle, I drift right back to sleep. If it is on a channel, that just drifts me into dreams.
I was awake late, again, though. I lost track of time reading the last of Psalms and well into Proverbs. I have started to note the books, chapters, and verses I really like or which speak to me. Some of it is quite stirring. I should have thought of this earlier, but I will revisit much of this. It is not always simply the verses in my favor, either. Nor is it just the verses which bolster my causes. No, I also write the numbers of the ones which call me to pay attention, which question or prohibit my actions or beliefs. There is much to learn and I have much to learn. To be honest, the vast majority of verses call me to correction. Some of them I will eventually transcribe to places I look daily. Others, the longer ones, I will eventually attempt to memorize. The shorter ones may be memorized too, but that is not exactly a difficult task, now is it?
And, yes, I was pleased with Psalms, as D.C. indicated I might be! Not that it is important in the overall scheme of things, but it was very good reading. Though David was very militant, which surprises me in some ways. As D.C. indicated, God did seem to favor him (if historians (within the bible) did not, so much). He was always, it seems, either at war without or within his kingdom. Now, he did always supplicate, but too he always suggested that he himself was blameless. He is troubling figure for me because he reminds me of someone else I know and have only so much trust in, if I am not a king. Doh! Well, now you know why I feel the way I do, along with the rest and now in full.
I suppose I will get back to reading. With all the enemies around me, whispering falsely online in my tongue, steeling into my computer, and trying to poison me with medicine. Ha!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Guess what?
.
.
My computer has been hacked. I thought I told the guy hooking it up to put in on WPA. Nope, it was on the other, and only 8 digit at that. Someone has been using my system, and my full real name, to post on blogs. How do I know? You know the automatic deal, where you start to type and it auto-completes? Or you click on the sign in blank and you can go to your email address, sign in name, and such? Yeah, when I did that, Doom no longer came up. It was my full real name. I have not seen anything they have blogged or commented in my name, but it is out there. Some "liberal" hacker who cannot handle the truth was doing it, but who knows what damage may have been done.
It took me a bit to figure out how to switch it over tonight, when what was happening dawned on me, or more what to do about it. And with as many numbers as I used, it will be difficult to hack now. As well, I switched it to WPA, of course. I had to really concentrate, and made a mistake on one number between my ISP side and this computer side, so I had to hook in manually, then recheck everything, to get it right. But finally I am on WPA, re-secured (for how long is anyone's guess), and wireless too. That is not as much of a problem as I thought it was going to be. When I first could not log on I thought I might have to just wait until tomorrow and call the office. So, I read another 20 or so Psalms, planning on reading 25 and then sleeping or tinkering. Then a light switch came on and I remembered the router has a cord for direct internet access. Trumpets blared, cymbals clanged, I got a woody and got to work. Done and done. It was my first time. I need a smoke. Ha! I do still worry though, about whether they could have planted something on here. I am not exactly sure how much they can, or did, do, nor how to find out.
I went to talk to the gunsmith, but he took a vacation until Monday, with deer season fast approaching. He will be too busy to do anything for a good long time (and elk, bear, moose, etcetera seasons too). We went out, my neighbor and myself, and put a few downrange anyway. I did not shoot much. I did not bring my pistol as I thought the rifle would be better and I could practice. Oh well. The gunsmiths boss, partner, co-worker was there, but he does not go into the tools. He is merely the merchant part of the program, so I could not even ask about looking at the dovetail adjustment tool or asking about it's price.
I do have to get up and do some of those tasks I have been meaning to do. I actually, with the help of the alarm clock, was able to claw my way out of bed by 10:30 or 11:00, and be showered and mostly presentable by 11:30. Tomorrow I need to do the same. If not earlier.
I cheated on my diet today, I had two fountain Cokes. No, nay, not the little ones, not the medium ones, the ones which tell the diabetic "You are going to die in five!". Yeah baby. And it was goooooood. I would say shoot me, but why, I am doing it for you. And, you are so very welcome. Can I haz iscrame/?! Uhrm, and I might. It is the last of the last. On the good side, rather than using the Gatorade (about 9/10ths of a BIG can, I am going to toss it). You know, the Coka-Cola was not all that great, it was the allowance that was good. Once or twice a week, I have to just go out a bit. That is why I drive 5 mph over the speed limit, to feel freeeee! (In spite of the truth.)
Oh, I spoke with my landlady. There is not a single person wanting to see this apartment. There are two! I have straightened a bit, and cleaned. I have given her permission to come by any time during her work hours and days. I want her to try and call, but if she cannot get me, she may enter at her leisure to show the place until the end of the week, and I will extend that as necessary. She does not show up for work until 13:30 and leaves by 17:30, so it is not a great imposition. It is just keeping the place up to snuff for a whole 2 or 3 days! Did I mention I need to wear a jock strap? Yep, cleaning and the need for jock straps (in sports) are like water and oil, you have to shake it up to make it work. Bah! I preferred caves, real man-caves, with dirt carpets and disposable rock dishes. Bam Bam style. Well, maybe not. But if this works, I will have to send her some flowers and a good mixed fruit bowl for the whole crew here. They actually have been lifesavers, in several ways, and it is a nice inexpensive place to stay.
It seems I have a brother in law. In Christian law that is. It has been very good to have someone to bounce ideas off and to get notions and expansive thoughts back. Now, as we know, law, reading, and all that jazz are not the roots of salvation (though, they do point to the way), but being closer to God through His various means, not the least being His written word if His Son, the living Word would have been better (though just as many failed to see then as now). Still, what we have are pages, hope, faith, and charity (love), today. The hope I try to keep, the faith I have in spades, the charity I try to keep in my heart and in various ways with my wallet, but the book is never ending. So, it is quite good to share this. I almost get the feeling he has read the thing already or something. Ha! It is cool when a long-time blog-mate (or a dozen, many of you seem so inclined, if less vociferous about it) ends up being on the same page, or uhrm, several ahead, life is good. I encourage all to discuss your thoughts. I am quite orthodox, but discussion or debate is not beyond me at all. Besides, it is for a good cause! The Glory of God is upheld with our every faithful utterance, writing, thought and our souls are very much at stake. If you cannot teach, learn, if you cannot learn... Ruh-Rho. You have to burn. Better here and now than then and there. I got a match. *tschitz*
Ha!
Good night, dogs and cats. (even you mixed up ones. :P)
.
My computer has been hacked. I thought I told the guy hooking it up to put in on WPA. Nope, it was on the other, and only 8 digit at that. Someone has been using my system, and my full real name, to post on blogs. How do I know? You know the automatic deal, where you start to type and it auto-completes? Or you click on the sign in blank and you can go to your email address, sign in name, and such? Yeah, when I did that, Doom no longer came up. It was my full real name. I have not seen anything they have blogged or commented in my name, but it is out there. Some "liberal" hacker who cannot handle the truth was doing it, but who knows what damage may have been done.
It took me a bit to figure out how to switch it over tonight, when what was happening dawned on me, or more what to do about it. And with as many numbers as I used, it will be difficult to hack now. As well, I switched it to WPA, of course. I had to really concentrate, and made a mistake on one number between my ISP side and this computer side, so I had to hook in manually, then recheck everything, to get it right. But finally I am on WPA, re-secured (for how long is anyone's guess), and wireless too. That is not as much of a problem as I thought it was going to be. When I first could not log on I thought I might have to just wait until tomorrow and call the office. So, I read another 20 or so Psalms, planning on reading 25 and then sleeping or tinkering. Then a light switch came on and I remembered the router has a cord for direct internet access. Trumpets blared, cymbals clanged, I got a woody and got to work. Done and done. It was my first time. I need a smoke. Ha! I do still worry though, about whether they could have planted something on here. I am not exactly sure how much they can, or did, do, nor how to find out.
I went to talk to the gunsmith, but he took a vacation until Monday, with deer season fast approaching. He will be too busy to do anything for a good long time (and elk, bear, moose, etcetera seasons too). We went out, my neighbor and myself, and put a few downrange anyway. I did not shoot much. I did not bring my pistol as I thought the rifle would be better and I could practice. Oh well. The gunsmiths boss, partner, co-worker was there, but he does not go into the tools. He is merely the merchant part of the program, so I could not even ask about looking at the dovetail adjustment tool or asking about it's price.
I do have to get up and do some of those tasks I have been meaning to do. I actually, with the help of the alarm clock, was able to claw my way out of bed by 10:30 or 11:00, and be showered and mostly presentable by 11:30. Tomorrow I need to do the same. If not earlier.
I cheated on my diet today, I had two fountain Cokes. No, nay, not the little ones, not the medium ones, the ones which tell the diabetic "You are going to die in five!". Yeah baby. And it was goooooood. I would say shoot me, but why, I am doing it for you. And, you are so very welcome. Can I haz iscrame/?! Uhrm, and I might. It is the last of the last. On the good side, rather than using the Gatorade (about 9/10ths of a BIG can, I am going to toss it). You know, the Coka-Cola was not all that great, it was the allowance that was good. Once or twice a week, I have to just go out a bit. That is why I drive 5 mph over the speed limit, to feel freeeee! (In spite of the truth.)
Oh, I spoke with my landlady. There is not a single person wanting to see this apartment. There are two! I have straightened a bit, and cleaned. I have given her permission to come by any time during her work hours and days. I want her to try and call, but if she cannot get me, she may enter at her leisure to show the place until the end of the week, and I will extend that as necessary. She does not show up for work until 13:30 and leaves by 17:30, so it is not a great imposition. It is just keeping the place up to snuff for a whole 2 or 3 days! Did I mention I need to wear a jock strap? Yep, cleaning and the need for jock straps (in sports) are like water and oil, you have to shake it up to make it work. Bah! I preferred caves, real man-caves, with dirt carpets and disposable rock dishes. Bam Bam style. Well, maybe not. But if this works, I will have to send her some flowers and a good mixed fruit bowl for the whole crew here. They actually have been lifesavers, in several ways, and it is a nice inexpensive place to stay.
It seems I have a brother in law. In Christian law that is. It has been very good to have someone to bounce ideas off and to get notions and expansive thoughts back. Now, as we know, law, reading, and all that jazz are not the roots of salvation (though, they do point to the way), but being closer to God through His various means, not the least being His written word if His Son, the living Word would have been better (though just as many failed to see then as now). Still, what we have are pages, hope, faith, and charity (love), today. The hope I try to keep, the faith I have in spades, the charity I try to keep in my heart and in various ways with my wallet, but the book is never ending. So, it is quite good to share this. I almost get the feeling he has read the thing already or something. Ha! It is cool when a long-time blog-mate (or a dozen, many of you seem so inclined, if less vociferous about it) ends up being on the same page, or uhrm, several ahead, life is good. I encourage all to discuss your thoughts. I am quite orthodox, but discussion or debate is not beyond me at all. Besides, it is for a good cause! The Glory of God is upheld with our every faithful utterance, writing, thought and our souls are very much at stake. If you cannot teach, learn, if you cannot learn... Ruh-Rho. You have to burn. Better here and now than then and there. I got a match. *tschitz*
Ha!
Good night, dogs and cats. (even you mixed up ones. :P)
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
A difficult day.
.
.
I could not wake up this day. I thought I heard the doorbell, and the phone a few times before that. I tease you not when I say I could not rise. I did not rise until, perhaps, 16:30 or later. I tried, in my slumber, to roll or cause movement which would help me to shake off sleep but this simply was not possible. As such, I was able to do nothing today.
One of the phone calls, I do believe, was from the VA regarding the dietary clinic I was set to attend today, and missed. The other was from my landlady, saying she would be by with someone to look at the place, to take over the rent potentially. The knock on the door, I can only guess, was her and the potential renter. I am so angry with myself. The phone usually wakes me and gets me going and the call would have given me enough time to prepare for a visit. But on the one day nothing works I may have missed a huge opportunity! I will call her and see tomorrow.
I have to be in Ogden tomorrow, so I am cleaning my apartment a bit tonight. I will also tuck the guns away. I will call, when she is in the office, and let her know she is free to show the place if the man is still interested. That is the best I can do and I can only hope it works out. This would take a huge weight off of my shoulders. As I have said, I can pay two rents, it would just limit my life a bit. I feel like a fool. Every time my body betrays me, I feel this way. But what can be done?
I just read Job. It was certainly not my favorite book to read. It was a grind, especially the first *1,500 pages. I got through it, and yeah, okay, I see the point. But next time, just use hot pokers in my eyes alrighty? I know, I know, it is the bible, the word of God. I know. Hush, you. I did note several things while reading it though. Something that pleased me was that God allowed Satan to test a righteous man, to bring him low, and to all but kill him in order that Job might be tested to show Satan some things. What man comes to God after these things have been done to him? I have. It was not in weakness, despair, or such that I came to God. Neither did I come to God in spite of it. I simply came to God as I was. It is a little thing, but it pleased me. The other thing I noted was that the writing became better, more refined, and easier to read as I went through the book. That form of writing is not exactly my favored. Listening to the babble at the beginning was torturous reading, not only was it off, it was babble! Reading what the young man had to say was better. And of course, God's words were far superior to the rest. So, the book tended to pull me, as a reader, through the text.
I am NOT looking forward to Psalms. I am sure, in Hebrew, or whatever language they were initially written, they were poetic, lyrical, and maybe even a little bouncy, like songs often might be. Then again, maybe not, who knows. But translated into English, they are very dry, with little but the substance to carry them. One leads to the next, they are similar in substance often, and... That is going to be a tough read. But that is what I will do.
I had intended to begin a fast tonight, but then I realized I had fish and meat thawed. The meat does not last long here, not at all, so I suspect fish will go even faster as it often does. I will eat what I have thawed before fasting later this week. Tonight, a whole talapia, which I will wrap in foil and bake, with butter. I am curious about this, I have had fillets before, but not the whole fish. At the market, fillets were $5.99 a pound, the whole fish was $1.99 a pound, so both being frugal at this time and being curious, I went cheap. I hope I do not choke on a bone. Then again, fillets are not always clean, and might surprise you most rudely since you expect a bone less.
After I put the fish in the oven, I best do a few more things to prepare for visitors tomorrow. I truly hate vacuum cleaning, but I think I need to do that. A bit of straightening would not hurt. And just a little cleaning. It really is not that bad, especially for a bachelor. I have been doing much better here, in that way, though it has only been a short time since I moved in too.
Oh, I was thinking about what K9 said, regarding how girls dress now. I think it has something to do with the understanding by males that women are not trustworthy or marriageable, do not provide children and a household, really, and so are sort of not worth the trouble or expense. Girls are having to go all out to get the attention of the boys, in more ways than one. And, of course, we end up getting more of what we do not want. Without a change in the laws, that is the way it will be. Not even an uptick in Christianity will help, as only the most dogmatic will marry for religious reasons. So, the laws have to change to make divorce difficult, and the settlements more equitable when they do occur, or girls (and women) will continue just as she saw them. They have become sex toys or they are ignored. Academics or sluts, it seems.
I used to think men did not change, it was women who have changed. I have decided that is not quite right either. Neither changes, we are what we are, what has changed is the balance. Until there is something in marriage for men, something undoubted and good, something fair, something the law cannot allow to be stripped by a word or the extra-legal (strictly speaking) one sided court system set against men, they will not themselves enjoin in that, and women will be degraded to toys. Women cannot be trusted with their oaths and vows so long as the law allows them every advantage to be untrustworthy. I am not sure I am getting that exactly as I want to but it will work.
Good day, later, good night, who knows! Be well.
*Large numbers, as indicated, in the book of Doom, or pages thereof, may or may not be literal. In historical context, they may be taken to mean greater or lesser readings.
.
I could not wake up this day. I thought I heard the doorbell, and the phone a few times before that. I tease you not when I say I could not rise. I did not rise until, perhaps, 16:30 or later. I tried, in my slumber, to roll or cause movement which would help me to shake off sleep but this simply was not possible. As such, I was able to do nothing today.
One of the phone calls, I do believe, was from the VA regarding the dietary clinic I was set to attend today, and missed. The other was from my landlady, saying she would be by with someone to look at the place, to take over the rent potentially. The knock on the door, I can only guess, was her and the potential renter. I am so angry with myself. The phone usually wakes me and gets me going and the call would have given me enough time to prepare for a visit. But on the one day nothing works I may have missed a huge opportunity! I will call her and see tomorrow.
I have to be in Ogden tomorrow, so I am cleaning my apartment a bit tonight. I will also tuck the guns away. I will call, when she is in the office, and let her know she is free to show the place if the man is still interested. That is the best I can do and I can only hope it works out. This would take a huge weight off of my shoulders. As I have said, I can pay two rents, it would just limit my life a bit. I feel like a fool. Every time my body betrays me, I feel this way. But what can be done?
I just read Job. It was certainly not my favorite book to read. It was a grind, especially the first *1,500 pages. I got through it, and yeah, okay, I see the point. But next time, just use hot pokers in my eyes alrighty? I know, I know, it is the bible, the word of God. I know. Hush, you. I did note several things while reading it though. Something that pleased me was that God allowed Satan to test a righteous man, to bring him low, and to all but kill him in order that Job might be tested to show Satan some things. What man comes to God after these things have been done to him? I have. It was not in weakness, despair, or such that I came to God. Neither did I come to God in spite of it. I simply came to God as I was. It is a little thing, but it pleased me. The other thing I noted was that the writing became better, more refined, and easier to read as I went through the book. That form of writing is not exactly my favored. Listening to the babble at the beginning was torturous reading, not only was it off, it was babble! Reading what the young man had to say was better. And of course, God's words were far superior to the rest. So, the book tended to pull me, as a reader, through the text.
I am NOT looking forward to Psalms. I am sure, in Hebrew, or whatever language they were initially written, they were poetic, lyrical, and maybe even a little bouncy, like songs often might be. Then again, maybe not, who knows. But translated into English, they are very dry, with little but the substance to carry them. One leads to the next, they are similar in substance often, and... That is going to be a tough read. But that is what I will do.
I had intended to begin a fast tonight, but then I realized I had fish and meat thawed. The meat does not last long here, not at all, so I suspect fish will go even faster as it often does. I will eat what I have thawed before fasting later this week. Tonight, a whole talapia, which I will wrap in foil and bake, with butter. I am curious about this, I have had fillets before, but not the whole fish. At the market, fillets were $5.99 a pound, the whole fish was $1.99 a pound, so both being frugal at this time and being curious, I went cheap. I hope I do not choke on a bone. Then again, fillets are not always clean, and might surprise you most rudely since you expect a bone less.
After I put the fish in the oven, I best do a few more things to prepare for visitors tomorrow. I truly hate vacuum cleaning, but I think I need to do that. A bit of straightening would not hurt. And just a little cleaning. It really is not that bad, especially for a bachelor. I have been doing much better here, in that way, though it has only been a short time since I moved in too.
Oh, I was thinking about what K9 said, regarding how girls dress now. I think it has something to do with the understanding by males that women are not trustworthy or marriageable, do not provide children and a household, really, and so are sort of not worth the trouble or expense. Girls are having to go all out to get the attention of the boys, in more ways than one. And, of course, we end up getting more of what we do not want. Without a change in the laws, that is the way it will be. Not even an uptick in Christianity will help, as only the most dogmatic will marry for religious reasons. So, the laws have to change to make divorce difficult, and the settlements more equitable when they do occur, or girls (and women) will continue just as she saw them. They have become sex toys or they are ignored. Academics or sluts, it seems.
I used to think men did not change, it was women who have changed. I have decided that is not quite right either. Neither changes, we are what we are, what has changed is the balance. Until there is something in marriage for men, something undoubted and good, something fair, something the law cannot allow to be stripped by a word or the extra-legal (strictly speaking) one sided court system set against men, they will not themselves enjoin in that, and women will be degraded to toys. Women cannot be trusted with their oaths and vows so long as the law allows them every advantage to be untrustworthy. I am not sure I am getting that exactly as I want to but it will work.
Good day, later, good night, who knows! Be well.
*Large numbers, as indicated, in the book of Doom, or pages thereof, may or may not be literal. In historical context, they may be taken to mean greater or lesser readings.
Maccabees and ribeye.
.
.
The day has seen nothing done, not completed. I called the finance company, the one that holds the title to my SUV, and asked if they would send a copy of the title. Well, it turns out that the DMV has to request a copy. The guy was from India, I am not sure if I got it all correct or if he understood what I was asking. I called back later, different guy, same foreign language. *click* I will have to simply hope this information is correct and get it in tomorrow. Nothing else I had hoped to do was done.
I am counting my nickles as everything seems to be going astray. I have a little set off, just enough to try and get everything paid, even in a worst case scenario. I hate times like these. Of course, if things come off without a hitch, I might well be ready to start saving as I had hoped. Moving is a lot more expensive than the brochure promised! :p
Tonight I had ribeye, green beans, and of course milk. A little butter on the green beans adds a lot to the meal. And, I tried something I had heard mentioned recently. As I said, I am using a cast iron skillet for all of my cooking. Well, stove cooking. Someone had suggested that a little butter in the pan, to give it a nice thin coating, would make the steak top notch. Guess what, my neighbor was correct. That was one of the most delicious steaks I have had in some time. The steak at Sizzlers was good, if a bit thin. But this was superior. The beef here seems to be every bit as good what I had in Iowa, and the prices go up and down just like there too. Now that I know how to cook a right proper pan steak, I am in like flint, this way.
My reading continues. I am in the book of 1 Maccabees 13. This is rather interesting reading. The Jews sure had many troubles then, as now. So too, do all people. But few people have remained a single, historic, religious community anywhere near the length of time they have. Modern Egyptians, for example, cannot even read their ancestor's languages, Babylonians are no more having become many things to finally be Iranian or Iraqi peoples and again with no sense of their own history. Many people's, such as the Egyptians, probably are not even necessarily related to their national historic peoples.
Reading the Old Testament opens up the eyes. It also calls into question many of the current Christian practices. When Christ indicated that He was not here to end the law, but to fulfill it, I think many Christians have taken a very wrong stance on that. Though Jesus did set aside the mosaic law, from marriage to debt to feasts from the law, and He set aside forbidden foods, He did not set aside the reason or purpose for them, or even set them aside completely. As with food, though pigs are now allowed (to Christians) and circumcision is not required (though due to health reasons, it is encouraged even by the secular medicants of today), being healthy, living wisely, and such were all interwoven with these laws and that prescription has not changed.
Now, figuring out, precisely, what is still considered against the Word, from the Old Testament, is not a simple thing. But at times, it is not as difficult as it might seem. While reading the bible, things will come to you, while you read it or later. Things from the New Testament came to me while well into the reading of the Old Testament. And, I do believe, reading the bible begins to change things inside one's life and mind. Patterns emerge, Christ in us sets Himself up a better place near our eyes the windows of our soul for food from the reading, and my actions have become much more measured. I can see, now, more as I go on, why I was so enamored of the books as a young one.
Tomorrow I have five things I really need to do. I need to get to my storage unit and try to find my social security card (necessary for obtaining a drivers license). I will take all other required data, and upon finding the ss card, I need to apply for that. Second, I need to go to DMV and have them begin the process of obtaining a copy of the title. I then need to place a few advertisements for this apartment physically, and then try to figure out how to advertise it online. Then I need to get the rifle sight moved a bit more. And finally, the fun thing if I can get the rest of it done in time, I want to get target practice in before it gets too dark. It is raining today, though, and may be tomorrow as well. Still, there is always a chance to find enough time to see if it is on target or not. I really HAVE to do these things. Time is running out, quickly, and potentially expensively, on some of these things.
Okay, yeah, I have been hiding out. I have not been able to function well. In part because of my native exhaustion, in part because of the addition of the medicine. Plus the simple feeling, as things started to slip, that I was powerless. I fell, and have been down for about a week. I need, again, to rise to the occasions and finish this. Then all I will have to worry about is finishing my application for college and getting that going. Still, I am going to be honest. I am still doing better here than I ever have in Iowa, and for any length of time, other than when I was on Ritalin. I do not want to let that slip from my hands. Must... work... harder...
.
The day has seen nothing done, not completed. I called the finance company, the one that holds the title to my SUV, and asked if they would send a copy of the title. Well, it turns out that the DMV has to request a copy. The guy was from India, I am not sure if I got it all correct or if he understood what I was asking. I called back later, different guy, same foreign language. *click* I will have to simply hope this information is correct and get it in tomorrow. Nothing else I had hoped to do was done.
I am counting my nickles as everything seems to be going astray. I have a little set off, just enough to try and get everything paid, even in a worst case scenario. I hate times like these. Of course, if things come off without a hitch, I might well be ready to start saving as I had hoped. Moving is a lot more expensive than the brochure promised! :p
Tonight I had ribeye, green beans, and of course milk. A little butter on the green beans adds a lot to the meal. And, I tried something I had heard mentioned recently. As I said, I am using a cast iron skillet for all of my cooking. Well, stove cooking. Someone had suggested that a little butter in the pan, to give it a nice thin coating, would make the steak top notch. Guess what, my neighbor was correct. That was one of the most delicious steaks I have had in some time. The steak at Sizzlers was good, if a bit thin. But this was superior. The beef here seems to be every bit as good what I had in Iowa, and the prices go up and down just like there too. Now that I know how to cook a right proper pan steak, I am in like flint, this way.
My reading continues. I am in the book of 1 Maccabees 13. This is rather interesting reading. The Jews sure had many troubles then, as now. So too, do all people. But few people have remained a single, historic, religious community anywhere near the length of time they have. Modern Egyptians, for example, cannot even read their ancestor's languages, Babylonians are no more having become many things to finally be Iranian or Iraqi peoples and again with no sense of their own history. Many people's, such as the Egyptians, probably are not even necessarily related to their national historic peoples.
Reading the Old Testament opens up the eyes. It also calls into question many of the current Christian practices. When Christ indicated that He was not here to end the law, but to fulfill it, I think many Christians have taken a very wrong stance on that. Though Jesus did set aside the mosaic law, from marriage to debt to feasts from the law, and He set aside forbidden foods, He did not set aside the reason or purpose for them, or even set them aside completely. As with food, though pigs are now allowed (to Christians) and circumcision is not required (though due to health reasons, it is encouraged even by the secular medicants of today), being healthy, living wisely, and such were all interwoven with these laws and that prescription has not changed.
Now, figuring out, precisely, what is still considered against the Word, from the Old Testament, is not a simple thing. But at times, it is not as difficult as it might seem. While reading the bible, things will come to you, while you read it or later. Things from the New Testament came to me while well into the reading of the Old Testament. And, I do believe, reading the bible begins to change things inside one's life and mind. Patterns emerge, Christ in us sets Himself up a better place near our eyes the windows of our soul for food from the reading, and my actions have become much more measured. I can see, now, more as I go on, why I was so enamored of the books as a young one.
Tomorrow I have five things I really need to do. I need to get to my storage unit and try to find my social security card (necessary for obtaining a drivers license). I will take all other required data, and upon finding the ss card, I need to apply for that. Second, I need to go to DMV and have them begin the process of obtaining a copy of the title. I then need to place a few advertisements for this apartment physically, and then try to figure out how to advertise it online. Then I need to get the rifle sight moved a bit more. And finally, the fun thing if I can get the rest of it done in time, I want to get target practice in before it gets too dark. It is raining today, though, and may be tomorrow as well. Still, there is always a chance to find enough time to see if it is on target or not. I really HAVE to do these things. Time is running out, quickly, and potentially expensively, on some of these things.
Okay, yeah, I have been hiding out. I have not been able to function well. In part because of my native exhaustion, in part because of the addition of the medicine. Plus the simple feeling, as things started to slip, that I was powerless. I fell, and have been down for about a week. I need, again, to rise to the occasions and finish this. Then all I will have to worry about is finishing my application for college and getting that going. Still, I am going to be honest. I am still doing better here than I ever have in Iowa, and for any length of time, other than when I was on Ritalin. I do not want to let that slip from my hands. Must... work... harder...
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Men and women in a Christian life.
.
.
After figuring some things out, tending to questions, illness, and then settling into the right spot for marriage, I am starting to find what it is I think is required. There are lists of topics. There are right advisers. Their are ladies with good words. And of course there is material that should be tossed without more than a glance. And, if one has a mind to it, reading the New Testament of the bible would be the best start.
The one thing I am sure about preparing to look for a wife, regarding preparedness, is that one cannot be prepared in the most absolute of senses. I see it this way, I can only be versed in what the responsibilities of the husband are traditionally, and to some degree what to expect from a wife. A woman is a lot of work and responsibility on my part, and expensive in many ways. I can try to get in a position where I can handle those things but I will be struggling with another person, with her own ideas. That is as ready as I can be.
I do believe men and women have very different capacities and skill sets. I will never be able to be a mom, my ideas are abhorrent to women. If the child skins a knee, I think he or she should buck up and get back out to it. If a son comes home crying after being hit, I will teach him how to defend himself, and then some. If a daughter comes home crying from being hit, it depends on who hit her and why. Another girl? Meh, get used to it, though expect worse (your feelings and trusts later, ha!). If a boy, I might go hunting unless she started it by, well, being a girl. Ha!
As for cooking, diapers, cleaning. Well, if she can handle a man-sty, so be it. I am simply allergic to vacuum cleaners, most household cleaners, and baby poop. Besides, with an eye to sizes, shapes, and amounts, I am curious how much that diaper will hold before it explodes. I AM the curious sort. If she can handle that, I will pitch in as often as I notice messes, sort of, unless there is a rug handy. I used to think this was bad, now I have come to realize it is rather typical. While it might be bad, it is the way of it. The weather is bad sometimes too, I do not see anyone fixing that!
And, yes, education. I will teach my wife, using guile, fact, treasure, or barbs. She will learn my limits. I will only take a devoted Christian as a wife, and one who has shown a capacity to understand both God's commands, the bibles inputs, and traditional notions of the institution. And, I will reinforce these. The bible is quite clear that a woman should be as devoted to her husband as if he were her Christ, if Christ before all, which means the husband needs tend to bend to righteousness and God as well.
The only way a woman can be master, is to, like Christ, serve. The servant, as many songs, poems, and writings indicate, is the master. Fighting with me will yield naught, disobedience and lying are just as bad. A woman who works with me and for me in all things, without grumbling or dragging her feet will know a throne. A woman who fights me will know an intractable enemy who can use herself and her inner goodness to shame her outward nakedness. I was born to war, I swear it, she cannot compare in this field.
It sounds harsh, and perhaps it is. Such is life. But too, it is quite sweet. If women wish to surrender, fine, but do it to the righteous, not to the ugly, the deformed, the vile, and the wicked. Avoid the serpent and cling to man, especially the man who bows to the only true King. In doing so, a woman will find heaven on earth and will know heaven like few others. Turning away from that, a women will only know scorn, shame, the cold of night, and will consume herself as all revolutions do.
So, I begin to look. As health and vigor return, as life in the outdoors and perhaps in college open up to me again, and as time passes, I leave that door a bit open. That very door is just open a crack now, but as I become a stronger, surer, wiser man, the door will open more along with those things. I am not sure I will find a wife, I cannot be sure even if I do that I will have children with her, but this is what I pray to God. He knows my heart, I have opened all I am to Him. We will see. Of course, as ugly as I am, this might be testing my Lord. Ha! ;)
What about women teaching me? Meh, it could happen. But I am what is classified as an old dog. You must know that saying by now? I do wish her great luck with that though, Lord knows, I have tried myself. What about her rights? I think they are enumerated in that wise text as well.
Finding a wife, having children, and settling down? It could happen. Look too Abraham and Sarah. If you believe, there you go. If you do not believe you cannot be sure (about anything). The temporal visceral world of flesh offers nothing of surety.
Addendum:
There is something else I have been meaning to say about relationships between man and wife. One of the problems, as I see it, is want by women to feel loved. This, in some relationships past, has been a problem. A woman can no more be maintained in a loving feeling than a man can be in his wife's arms all of the time. I assume this false need comes from insecurity, a personal one not born of the relationship. For both men and women, marriage, in simple terms, will often be a grind. In part, because other parts of our life become difficult and we cannot expect our mate to pick that up, but we do. As well, our spouse cannot and should not be the sum total of our existence. They only should share in our existence, if too there are obligations, some joyful some odious.
The same goes for friendship between couples. It is good to be friends, but it is not terribly necessary. And to be sure, there will be days and longer when friendship is not possible. I am guessing, in our history and currently in other parts of the world, friendship is not even a factor in such relationships. Women in America have it very good, so good they often opt out due to boredom. This, I think, comes from a very misguided notion of marriage. It is fine to be friends when that is possible, when not, doing ones duty is required anyway. Do you always like to put money in the collection plate? Do you always like to pray? Do you always trust, absolutely, God? But if you continue on and do these things in faith, hope, or love, so should a man or woman with their perspective spouse.
Further, the relationship between man and woman called marriage, from what I have seen, can be quite contentious. The two parties, man and wife, father and mother, are natural adversaries in some odd manner, like cops and criminals (or even cops and citizens to a degree), priest or other ministers and the flock, politicians and citizens, and parents and children. Some groups have a natural angst toward one another. Most women seem to not know this, or at least how to deal with it.
Then again, few women I have been with have been solid Christians. Though, with divorce rates roughly the same, or close enough, I have to think Christian women are no better bets as a general rule. How dare a single man discuss marriage, it's intricacies, and it's problems? Ask Saint Paul or even Christ. Ha!
.
After figuring some things out, tending to questions, illness, and then settling into the right spot for marriage, I am starting to find what it is I think is required. There are lists of topics. There are right advisers. Their are ladies with good words. And of course there is material that should be tossed without more than a glance. And, if one has a mind to it, reading the New Testament of the bible would be the best start.
The one thing I am sure about preparing to look for a wife, regarding preparedness, is that one cannot be prepared in the most absolute of senses. I see it this way, I can only be versed in what the responsibilities of the husband are traditionally, and to some degree what to expect from a wife. A woman is a lot of work and responsibility on my part, and expensive in many ways. I can try to get in a position where I can handle those things but I will be struggling with another person, with her own ideas. That is as ready as I can be.
I do believe men and women have very different capacities and skill sets. I will never be able to be a mom, my ideas are abhorrent to women. If the child skins a knee, I think he or she should buck up and get back out to it. If a son comes home crying after being hit, I will teach him how to defend himself, and then some. If a daughter comes home crying from being hit, it depends on who hit her and why. Another girl? Meh, get used to it, though expect worse (your feelings and trusts later, ha!). If a boy, I might go hunting unless she started it by, well, being a girl. Ha!
As for cooking, diapers, cleaning. Well, if she can handle a man-sty, so be it. I am simply allergic to vacuum cleaners, most household cleaners, and baby poop. Besides, with an eye to sizes, shapes, and amounts, I am curious how much that diaper will hold before it explodes. I AM the curious sort. If she can handle that, I will pitch in as often as I notice messes, sort of, unless there is a rug handy. I used to think this was bad, now I have come to realize it is rather typical. While it might be bad, it is the way of it. The weather is bad sometimes too, I do not see anyone fixing that!
And, yes, education. I will teach my wife, using guile, fact, treasure, or barbs. She will learn my limits. I will only take a devoted Christian as a wife, and one who has shown a capacity to understand both God's commands, the bibles inputs, and traditional notions of the institution. And, I will reinforce these. The bible is quite clear that a woman should be as devoted to her husband as if he were her Christ, if Christ before all, which means the husband needs tend to bend to righteousness and God as well.
The only way a woman can be master, is to, like Christ, serve. The servant, as many songs, poems, and writings indicate, is the master. Fighting with me will yield naught, disobedience and lying are just as bad. A woman who works with me and for me in all things, without grumbling or dragging her feet will know a throne. A woman who fights me will know an intractable enemy who can use herself and her inner goodness to shame her outward nakedness. I was born to war, I swear it, she cannot compare in this field.
It sounds harsh, and perhaps it is. Such is life. But too, it is quite sweet. If women wish to surrender, fine, but do it to the righteous, not to the ugly, the deformed, the vile, and the wicked. Avoid the serpent and cling to man, especially the man who bows to the only true King. In doing so, a woman will find heaven on earth and will know heaven like few others. Turning away from that, a women will only know scorn, shame, the cold of night, and will consume herself as all revolutions do.
So, I begin to look. As health and vigor return, as life in the outdoors and perhaps in college open up to me again, and as time passes, I leave that door a bit open. That very door is just open a crack now, but as I become a stronger, surer, wiser man, the door will open more along with those things. I am not sure I will find a wife, I cannot be sure even if I do that I will have children with her, but this is what I pray to God. He knows my heart, I have opened all I am to Him. We will see. Of course, as ugly as I am, this might be testing my Lord. Ha! ;)
What about women teaching me? Meh, it could happen. But I am what is classified as an old dog. You must know that saying by now? I do wish her great luck with that though, Lord knows, I have tried myself. What about her rights? I think they are enumerated in that wise text as well.
Finding a wife, having children, and settling down? It could happen. Look too Abraham and Sarah. If you believe, there you go. If you do not believe you cannot be sure (about anything). The temporal visceral world of flesh offers nothing of surety.
Addendum:
There is something else I have been meaning to say about relationships between man and wife. One of the problems, as I see it, is want by women to feel loved. This, in some relationships past, has been a problem. A woman can no more be maintained in a loving feeling than a man can be in his wife's arms all of the time. I assume this false need comes from insecurity, a personal one not born of the relationship. For both men and women, marriage, in simple terms, will often be a grind. In part, because other parts of our life become difficult and we cannot expect our mate to pick that up, but we do. As well, our spouse cannot and should not be the sum total of our existence. They only should share in our existence, if too there are obligations, some joyful some odious.
The same goes for friendship between couples. It is good to be friends, but it is not terribly necessary. And to be sure, there will be days and longer when friendship is not possible. I am guessing, in our history and currently in other parts of the world, friendship is not even a factor in such relationships. Women in America have it very good, so good they often opt out due to boredom. This, I think, comes from a very misguided notion of marriage. It is fine to be friends when that is possible, when not, doing ones duty is required anyway. Do you always like to put money in the collection plate? Do you always like to pray? Do you always trust, absolutely, God? But if you continue on and do these things in faith, hope, or love, so should a man or woman with their perspective spouse.
Further, the relationship between man and woman called marriage, from what I have seen, can be quite contentious. The two parties, man and wife, father and mother, are natural adversaries in some odd manner, like cops and criminals (or even cops and citizens to a degree), priest or other ministers and the flock, politicians and citizens, and parents and children. Some groups have a natural angst toward one another. Most women seem to not know this, or at least how to deal with it.
Then again, few women I have been with have been solid Christians. Though, with divorce rates roughly the same, or close enough, I have to think Christian women are no better bets as a general rule. How dare a single man discuss marriage, it's intricacies, and it's problems? Ask Saint Paul or even Christ. Ha!
A question.
.
.
As I prepare to lay my head down, pray, and then sleep, some little *tick* is forming. If you have ever had warnings of an impending migraine too, you know what I mean. But this is a little different. Whether I remember it or not, tonight I will dream of war. How do I know? I just know. I finally know why, sometimes, I struggle to not sleep. It creeps up on me though, the realization. Some part of my mind really hates these, though consciously I have become accustomed to them. I have seen and created many corpses. Some of the corpses I see have been allies, close friends, brothers really. I have had to crawl over corpses to get out of line of sight. I can smell them, on my clothes even after I have departed. Once you get that in your nose, it does not leave for a long time, even if it does not really get on you, it is all you can smell. Gruesome pictures do not bother me, movie or real. Not anymore. Not even real life events shake me. I have seen piles and seeming thousands of dead.
My question is this, is it common to feel textures, to smell even faint things like blood but to include muck, plant life, oil, gasoline, and even spice in the wind? Is it common to sense the cloying nature of high humidity? Do most dream so strongly?
My dreams are often so very vivid. Though too, they are not quite movie like. When the action begins, the scene is very choppy. I cannot always tell what is going on. Hearing usually goes out as well. I can track a few things, my allies, where most of the incoming fire is coming from, and my own general location. Sometimes they are harrowing, sometimes they are of good times before fighting, or after. This set of dreams cannot be changed, as I do with other dreams.
I know they will happen tonight. They have been happening more and more for a while now. They are the same, the same people, the same events, sometimes I see things I missed before, or a slightly different time segment, of about 6 or 8 different incidences, but the scenes themselves never change, nor the actors.
The dreams I can remember, standard dreams, are vivid as well. At least as far as color, sound, and maybe textures, but to a much more minor depth. While flying, for example, I can feel the wind. When bending steel, I can feel the silky glassy cool nature of the metal. Or I might smell a woman's perfume, feel her soft skin and warmth through it, or feel her hair brush by if she is sitting close and turns her head to look at something. I rarely, twice in my life I think, have had actual sexual dreams, so that is not a thing. I simply wonder how weird it is to have such intense dreams, and the dreams of war (apparently with no real cause)?
After trying to figure out why I did not want to go to bed, now I know. I am plum exhausted, a bit from fighting sleep and a bit from a active day. I hope this even makes sense. *crashing into keyboard* But hoping for thoughts, or even answers, too.
Oh well, time to march off to bed. Pun, sadly, intended.
Good night.
.
As I prepare to lay my head down, pray, and then sleep, some little *tick* is forming. If you have ever had warnings of an impending migraine too, you know what I mean. But this is a little different. Whether I remember it or not, tonight I will dream of war. How do I know? I just know. I finally know why, sometimes, I struggle to not sleep. It creeps up on me though, the realization. Some part of my mind really hates these, though consciously I have become accustomed to them. I have seen and created many corpses. Some of the corpses I see have been allies, close friends, brothers really. I have had to crawl over corpses to get out of line of sight. I can smell them, on my clothes even after I have departed. Once you get that in your nose, it does not leave for a long time, even if it does not really get on you, it is all you can smell. Gruesome pictures do not bother me, movie or real. Not anymore. Not even real life events shake me. I have seen piles and seeming thousands of dead.
My question is this, is it common to feel textures, to smell even faint things like blood but to include muck, plant life, oil, gasoline, and even spice in the wind? Is it common to sense the cloying nature of high humidity? Do most dream so strongly?
My dreams are often so very vivid. Though too, they are not quite movie like. When the action begins, the scene is very choppy. I cannot always tell what is going on. Hearing usually goes out as well. I can track a few things, my allies, where most of the incoming fire is coming from, and my own general location. Sometimes they are harrowing, sometimes they are of good times before fighting, or after. This set of dreams cannot be changed, as I do with other dreams.
I know they will happen tonight. They have been happening more and more for a while now. They are the same, the same people, the same events, sometimes I see things I missed before, or a slightly different time segment, of about 6 or 8 different incidences, but the scenes themselves never change, nor the actors.
The dreams I can remember, standard dreams, are vivid as well. At least as far as color, sound, and maybe textures, but to a much more minor depth. While flying, for example, I can feel the wind. When bending steel, I can feel the silky glassy cool nature of the metal. Or I might smell a woman's perfume, feel her soft skin and warmth through it, or feel her hair brush by if she is sitting close and turns her head to look at something. I rarely, twice in my life I think, have had actual sexual dreams, so that is not a thing. I simply wonder how weird it is to have such intense dreams, and the dreams of war (apparently with no real cause)?
After trying to figure out why I did not want to go to bed, now I know. I am plum exhausted, a bit from fighting sleep and a bit from a active day. I hope this even makes sense. *crashing into keyboard* But hoping for thoughts, or even answers, too.
Oh well, time to march off to bed. Pun, sadly, intended.
Good night.
A few odds and ends.
.
.
Soda water, yes, soda water. I have done something to one of my two devices that I need to fix, if it is possible. I will have to call their tech support Monday. In the meanwhile, I have been searching the internet for advice. Though I have seen no advice about this, I have seen other complaints from users. The main one is that it takes forrreeevvveeerrr (think: how children, your own or others, say that) to get the water fizzy. People complain that it takes a long time, and they have to shake it, put it in the fridge, shake it some more, etc. No, they do not! All you need to do is place the water you are going to use in the refrigerator also. Have it chilled before use. Then it will fizz up beautifully with very little need to shake at all. I shake it, and well, and as Raphaim* I can truly shake things up. Still, I do not believe I actually have to shake it, if I keep the water cold before use. I certainly never have to shake it later. I have only done it, to point, because of the given instructions.
Oh, though I enjoy Michelle Malkin a great deal, and I do agree with much of what she writes, I have one (minor) problem. It is not with her ideas, only with a term. When she was discussing the problems with rail security caused by this administration's abominable evils (tm), she was discussing the disbanding of a special security force. She referred to that force as a force multiplier, to be added to standard police, FBI, and other agencies. The term 'force multiplier' means no such thing. A force multiplying group goes out, generally behind enemy lines (or with that eventual intent), locates allies among the civilian populations whom they train, thus multiplying military forces by co-opting willing and able civilians. I know, it is a little thing, but it is annoying to see mistakes like that, for me. For many, it would be akin to seeing 'bible' misspelled, not quite a holy disorder but close, and again, to me. Okay, no more nitpicking, for now.
I have another new line-up of blogs I mean to get on here. I know now it is mostly a simple task, so I will get to it. I might add one that I had previously dropped, but most of them are new (and potentially exciting, I hope). Though I am not Libertarian, I am conservative-libertarian. Many of these folks are Libertarian and darn good at it. If I thought they spoke for that party, and I saw political advocates who were in this vein, I would certainly be more inclined to vote for them. That party, in general, I do not agree with on a number of levels and for various reasons. I am no longer Republican, they have failed me one too many times. I do not want secret socialists or disordered and slower paced progressives, and that party has become such. As well, there are a few bloggers to be added who keep tabs on the world-wide muslim expansion, dhimmitude, and other grossness of the religion of murder. I hope you enjoy as well.
War Out!
*Giant, Rephaite, Rephaim, Nephilim, Anakim, or those who reside in Sheol
RuhRho! If I am in Sheol, guess where you are? :p Ha!
.
Soda water, yes, soda water. I have done something to one of my two devices that I need to fix, if it is possible. I will have to call their tech support Monday. In the meanwhile, I have been searching the internet for advice. Though I have seen no advice about this, I have seen other complaints from users. The main one is that it takes forrreeevvveeerrr (think: how children, your own or others, say that) to get the water fizzy. People complain that it takes a long time, and they have to shake it, put it in the fridge, shake it some more, etc. No, they do not! All you need to do is place the water you are going to use in the refrigerator also. Have it chilled before use. Then it will fizz up beautifully with very little need to shake at all. I shake it, and well, and as Raphaim* I can truly shake things up. Still, I do not believe I actually have to shake it, if I keep the water cold before use. I certainly never have to shake it later. I have only done it, to point, because of the given instructions.
Oh, though I enjoy Michelle Malkin a great deal, and I do agree with much of what she writes, I have one (minor) problem. It is not with her ideas, only with a term. When she was discussing the problems with rail security caused by this administration's abominable evils (tm), she was discussing the disbanding of a special security force. She referred to that force as a force multiplier, to be added to standard police, FBI, and other agencies. The term 'force multiplier' means no such thing. A force multiplying group goes out, generally behind enemy lines (or with that eventual intent), locates allies among the civilian populations whom they train, thus multiplying military forces by co-opting willing and able civilians. I know, it is a little thing, but it is annoying to see mistakes like that, for me. For many, it would be akin to seeing 'bible' misspelled, not quite a holy disorder but close, and again, to me. Okay, no more nitpicking, for now.
I have another new line-up of blogs I mean to get on here. I know now it is mostly a simple task, so I will get to it. I might add one that I had previously dropped, but most of them are new (and potentially exciting, I hope). Though I am not Libertarian, I am conservative-libertarian. Many of these folks are Libertarian and darn good at it. If I thought they spoke for that party, and I saw political advocates who were in this vein, I would certainly be more inclined to vote for them. That party, in general, I do not agree with on a number of levels and for various reasons. I am no longer Republican, they have failed me one too many times. I do not want secret socialists or disordered and slower paced progressives, and that party has become such. As well, there are a few bloggers to be added who keep tabs on the world-wide muslim expansion, dhimmitude, and other grossness of the religion of murder. I hope you enjoy as well.
War Out!
*Giant, Rephaite, Rephaim, Nephilim, Anakim, or those who reside in Sheol
RuhRho! If I am in Sheol, guess where you are? :p Ha!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
A longer day than planned.
.
.
But a good day. We, my neighbor and myself, decided to shoot. Going to the closer range as the days are growing shorter and we are no faster about getting started. We found the place to be rather busy, and for the first time. I suppose as people realize that winter is not far off, they are enjoying what time they have as they may. Though too, I suppose deer season is approaching. One of the ranges was filled with younger men sighting in their muzzle loading rifles. They were there when we arrived and remained after we left. They looked to me like new shooters, both by age and by dress, too groomed one might say. The next shooting area was pretty full, but not with shooters. The area is ripe for riding motorcycles and atv's. It was the former who used most of the free spaces. After a bit of a break near the lake, we drove back and there was room to shoot.
My Henry is still a bit to the left. When I laid the punch to the rifle and the hammer to the punch, there was no movement. So I will need to take it in again. This time I will ask what dovetail adjustment tool he uses and find if he carries them, if it is not too much. My neighbor took along his .45. It is ejecting cases far better, and only eating them (stovepiping) when it gets a bit dry. He tried a heavier gun oil this time, as he thought that might be the problem. And I still think it is the problem. I will have to offer him some of my slide grease, it is silicone based. I have done this before but he has refused it. We will see if he still refuses it.
He also took his .240. He said it kicked like a mule, so I was a bit nervous. Even with the narrower butt than my 12 gauge, I did not think the kick was bad at all. It shoots a bit high and to the right at what I say was 60 yards and what he believes to be 100 yards. I did not tinker with his scope, nor did he. It was fun to shoot a rifle, a real rifle, again. Even though it was a single shot, it was a fun shooter.
On the way back, I asked if he wanted to stop at Golden Coral. My treat, but he would have none of it, as a gift. G.C. was packed, so we headed off to Sizzler's. I wanted a ribeye anyway. They were out the last time I went. This time they had it available and that is what I ordered, along with a baked potato and salad. Yeah, I know, but I have been laying off starches and carbs very nicely, thank you. I have been being a pretty good boy about things, as much as I am able.
I even gave away my Gatorade mix, it being full of sugars. I had not realized that. I kept one container, since it had been opened. And, even with it's problems, I will use it if more slowly. It has about 13 grams of sugar per serving, it only says a serving is a tablespoon, and the offered mixing instructions are for quarts (as the smallest mix size) using it's scoop, so I have no idea, in liquid form, what they are suggesting is a serving. Doh! I am guessing an 8 ounce glass, but it is difficult to know. That is only half of the sugar in soda, but it is still too much.
Looking around at all the Gatorade clones, usually only available pre-mixed from what I have seen, they ALL have sugar, corn syrup, or cane sugar in them. Even many of the "healthy" water type drinks are full of the stuff! I have to watch the Splenda, according to D.C. but recommended by my first optometrist (I trust D.C. more and for good reason), and I am to stay away from other diet stuff (according to everyone). So, tea, water, carbonated water, and occasional Splenda tea, along with a glass or two of milk a day is where I am at. *sigh* It used to be so easy to just drink Coca-Cola. Then again, that is why I am the way I am. So, goodbye to the easy life. Bah, I will get by just fine.
I am rather tired. I started out that way and I have not improved. Just the medicine I use is troubling. The water pill will bring problems of it's own. I tend to think some of the side effects from Lisinopril are due to dehydration too, so I best keep an eye on that. Dehydration can kill, and quickly. Odd that the extremes of weather, both hot and cold, have similar survival techniques. Move slowly so as not to sweat but do not just stop, drink lots of water, eat when you can and what you can but more hydrating foods (of course, what is not generally available in such climes, such as fruits, vegetables, and less meat, though fat is good). Only the amount of clothing varies, though the same materials can be employed quite successfully in both, such as silks, wool, down, nylon, and perhaps linen, natural being generally better if it can be kept dry. Otherwise synthetics, since organics (not to be confused with untended: organic) do not dry while being used nearly so well.
I am part of the way into Ezra, after one of the cataclysmic falls of Israel, where the Persian kings have ordered, and mostly, allowed the Jews to return, and ordered them to rebuild the temple and Jerusalem. I note, in all the failing of the kings, and the falling of the nation(s) as well, a parallel to my own personal life. I have come to know, then fallen away, then returned, then drifted again, on and on. It is odd how that happens. It can be a subtle thing, like getting busy with a dozen things then just losing my focus. Or, like now, it can be a big thing, like not wishing to worship with those who believe in contraception, abortion, national socialism (that Is what being a Democrat, today, means, and who else believed in that? Your daily test question.), and other culture of death strictures.
War and fighting have been in my dreams a bit more lately. I am not sure why they come or go. I have some handle on it now, though, so it does not complicate life as it once did. It is good, now, to live in a place where my shadow life does not see reflections of danger in the streets of the city in which I live. I live in a state that is armed to the hilt, and I am safer here than in the land where no one was (legally) allowed guns, other than the politicians and the other pigs with whom they shared the public trough. The grotesquery of that still galls me, people who allow no one to have a permit to carry, yet provide it for themselves, the rich liberals like them, and no one else. Hypocrites to a man, more so for the women.
The wars I see are distant. I do not see war as has been known in history here, though dark things of destruction may well be on their way, or even in play now. Europe will feel the sting as well, their dhimmitude will spare them nothing. And they have no means of fighting back, few children to press to arms, and no belief in God or will to do so either. They will surely suffer. For turning Churches into visitor centers, for laughing at Godly men and women, for demonizing Jews, and for bowing to the state as God, they will know death like they have never known it. I am not sure that we or Israel, or really, God, will spare them anything. Saying I am sorry while being spanked does not work (tried it, Ha!). Then again, we have our own problems, and our own spanking coming. Though, there will be a difference. Israel, too, will have tribulations.
Only one of three things can happen. We will all be poorer but wiser. We will all be enslaved in a global secular government. Or Christ will return. There is no other option. I am hoping for the latter, with the former being the next preferred, and hoping upon hope (God), that the middle may be passed by completely. I would rather have a massive war which kills off nations than the middle option. It would be another Satan among us, like Hitler or Stalin, Castro or Pol Pot, and the bureaucratic evil that went with them, but without a hope for Christ's coming. And, yes, we may rightly deserve that. Who even fears God, today, let alone praises him rightly? Even in the churches? Americans voted for that, in every way. They voted with their prejudice toward the inane, their penchant for casting Christ to death and murderers free, and for the death of America, Christianity, capitalism, and freedom. It was not just the Democrats, McCain was only slightly different. Evil reigns in this house, and it will be shaken if not destroyed.
Well, that's the good news. The bad news...
Ha!
Later or not. Depends on if the weather turns a bit south, forming mushroom clouds and radioactive city folk remnants. Meh, it could happen.
.
But a good day. We, my neighbor and myself, decided to shoot. Going to the closer range as the days are growing shorter and we are no faster about getting started. We found the place to be rather busy, and for the first time. I suppose as people realize that winter is not far off, they are enjoying what time they have as they may. Though too, I suppose deer season is approaching. One of the ranges was filled with younger men sighting in their muzzle loading rifles. They were there when we arrived and remained after we left. They looked to me like new shooters, both by age and by dress, too groomed one might say. The next shooting area was pretty full, but not with shooters. The area is ripe for riding motorcycles and atv's. It was the former who used most of the free spaces. After a bit of a break near the lake, we drove back and there was room to shoot.
My Henry is still a bit to the left. When I laid the punch to the rifle and the hammer to the punch, there was no movement. So I will need to take it in again. This time I will ask what dovetail adjustment tool he uses and find if he carries them, if it is not too much. My neighbor took along his .45. It is ejecting cases far better, and only eating them (stovepiping) when it gets a bit dry. He tried a heavier gun oil this time, as he thought that might be the problem. And I still think it is the problem. I will have to offer him some of my slide grease, it is silicone based. I have done this before but he has refused it. We will see if he still refuses it.
He also took his .240. He said it kicked like a mule, so I was a bit nervous. Even with the narrower butt than my 12 gauge, I did not think the kick was bad at all. It shoots a bit high and to the right at what I say was 60 yards and what he believes to be 100 yards. I did not tinker with his scope, nor did he. It was fun to shoot a rifle, a real rifle, again. Even though it was a single shot, it was a fun shooter.
On the way back, I asked if he wanted to stop at Golden Coral. My treat, but he would have none of it, as a gift. G.C. was packed, so we headed off to Sizzler's. I wanted a ribeye anyway. They were out the last time I went. This time they had it available and that is what I ordered, along with a baked potato and salad. Yeah, I know, but I have been laying off starches and carbs very nicely, thank you. I have been being a pretty good boy about things, as much as I am able.
I even gave away my Gatorade mix, it being full of sugars. I had not realized that. I kept one container, since it had been opened. And, even with it's problems, I will use it if more slowly. It has about 13 grams of sugar per serving, it only says a serving is a tablespoon, and the offered mixing instructions are for quarts (as the smallest mix size) using it's scoop, so I have no idea, in liquid form, what they are suggesting is a serving. Doh! I am guessing an 8 ounce glass, but it is difficult to know. That is only half of the sugar in soda, but it is still too much.
Looking around at all the Gatorade clones, usually only available pre-mixed from what I have seen, they ALL have sugar, corn syrup, or cane sugar in them. Even many of the "healthy" water type drinks are full of the stuff! I have to watch the Splenda, according to D.C. but recommended by my first optometrist (I trust D.C. more and for good reason), and I am to stay away from other diet stuff (according to everyone). So, tea, water, carbonated water, and occasional Splenda tea, along with a glass or two of milk a day is where I am at. *sigh* It used to be so easy to just drink Coca-Cola. Then again, that is why I am the way I am. So, goodbye to the easy life. Bah, I will get by just fine.
I am rather tired. I started out that way and I have not improved. Just the medicine I use is troubling. The water pill will bring problems of it's own. I tend to think some of the side effects from Lisinopril are due to dehydration too, so I best keep an eye on that. Dehydration can kill, and quickly. Odd that the extremes of weather, both hot and cold, have similar survival techniques. Move slowly so as not to sweat but do not just stop, drink lots of water, eat when you can and what you can but more hydrating foods (of course, what is not generally available in such climes, such as fruits, vegetables, and less meat, though fat is good). Only the amount of clothing varies, though the same materials can be employed quite successfully in both, such as silks, wool, down, nylon, and perhaps linen, natural being generally better if it can be kept dry. Otherwise synthetics, since organics (not to be confused with untended: organic) do not dry while being used nearly so well.
I am part of the way into Ezra, after one of the cataclysmic falls of Israel, where the Persian kings have ordered, and mostly, allowed the Jews to return, and ordered them to rebuild the temple and Jerusalem. I note, in all the failing of the kings, and the falling of the nation(s) as well, a parallel to my own personal life. I have come to know, then fallen away, then returned, then drifted again, on and on. It is odd how that happens. It can be a subtle thing, like getting busy with a dozen things then just losing my focus. Or, like now, it can be a big thing, like not wishing to worship with those who believe in contraception, abortion, national socialism (that Is what being a Democrat, today, means, and who else believed in that? Your daily test question.), and other culture of death strictures.
War and fighting have been in my dreams a bit more lately. I am not sure why they come or go. I have some handle on it now, though, so it does not complicate life as it once did. It is good, now, to live in a place where my shadow life does not see reflections of danger in the streets of the city in which I live. I live in a state that is armed to the hilt, and I am safer here than in the land where no one was (legally) allowed guns, other than the politicians and the other pigs with whom they shared the public trough. The grotesquery of that still galls me, people who allow no one to have a permit to carry, yet provide it for themselves, the rich liberals like them, and no one else. Hypocrites to a man, more so for the women.
The wars I see are distant. I do not see war as has been known in history here, though dark things of destruction may well be on their way, or even in play now. Europe will feel the sting as well, their dhimmitude will spare them nothing. And they have no means of fighting back, few children to press to arms, and no belief in God or will to do so either. They will surely suffer. For turning Churches into visitor centers, for laughing at Godly men and women, for demonizing Jews, and for bowing to the state as God, they will know death like they have never known it. I am not sure that we or Israel, or really, God, will spare them anything. Saying I am sorry while being spanked does not work (tried it, Ha!). Then again, we have our own problems, and our own spanking coming. Though, there will be a difference. Israel, too, will have tribulations.
Only one of three things can happen. We will all be poorer but wiser. We will all be enslaved in a global secular government. Or Christ will return. There is no other option. I am hoping for the latter, with the former being the next preferred, and hoping upon hope (God), that the middle may be passed by completely. I would rather have a massive war which kills off nations than the middle option. It would be another Satan among us, like Hitler or Stalin, Castro or Pol Pot, and the bureaucratic evil that went with them, but without a hope for Christ's coming. And, yes, we may rightly deserve that. Who even fears God, today, let alone praises him rightly? Even in the churches? Americans voted for that, in every way. They voted with their prejudice toward the inane, their penchant for casting Christ to death and murderers free, and for the death of America, Christianity, capitalism, and freedom. It was not just the Democrats, McCain was only slightly different. Evil reigns in this house, and it will be shaken if not destroyed.
Well, that's the good news. The bad news...
Ha!
Later or not. Depends on if the weather turns a bit south, forming mushroom clouds and radioactive city folk remnants. Meh, it could happen.
My eyes, my eyes!
.
.
I hate those drops they put in the eyes. I know what one of them was supposed to do and did do, that was to dilate my eyes. The other drops? There were two or three other droplets added. My pupils were dilated, but my eyes have had this filmy feel to them all day. Though that persists a bit, it is better and I can now read again. That filmy eye sensation is simply a creepy feeling.
Okay, fine. I will not go private. I really wondered, there for a bit. Remember, the title of that post was "Pouting". Rather than being sent to my room, I was told that I ought to quit pouting. Ha! Well, so I will for a while anyway. I have a fine lip for it though, online or not. See... *pout*
I could not go shooting today. I was absolutely bushed when I returned. I did not knock on my neighbor's door, I came in, maybe blogged a bit, then crashed hard. I just woke up, refreshed and ready. I have some non-biblical reading to do, online mostly. When curiosity is piqued, I... must... investigate... I bet cats know that. It is why they have nine lives and breed prolifically! Doh! I must have nine lives too, but I am down to 3 or 4 I think. But I did find out, darn it! *grins* I did buy 500 .22 long rifle bullets today though, so with the other two or three hundred, I should be able to sight in the .22 and get practiced. I will only use 10 or 20 at a time, from now on, to sight it in. I will then try to adjust or take it for realignment if needed. I have about 1,000 rounds for my .22 pistol, to plink with. So, if the rifle is not right and I cannot fix it, I will pull out the pistol and shoot everything. I have not used it on the target yet, so I may have to do that. Though that 1,000 rounds for that is high velocity and tends to shoot high to aim. I hate that. I might have to adjust it too, for the faster rounds. Who knows.
To clear that up a bit, I use standard velocity .22 rounds (for accuracy) with the rifle. I use high velocity rounds with the pistol only because they are not as accurate. I need the accuracy for the rifle since I will be using it to shoot for the hunters safety course (and hunting after that). The high velocity rounds are remnants from trying various ammunition in my guns or they were bought thinking I might not be able to find standard velocity ammunition. When I run out of high velocity rounds, since I have found a place where I can get standard velocity rounds, from now on I will only buy standard velocity rounds for plinking or hunting or target practice. As well, when money clears up, I will probably begin buying subsonic rounds to try in my various guns. They are a bit pricier, and iffy in the guns I have, but I like the notion. They might even be a LOT more accurate.
After breaking fast, then having had two meals, then sleeping and tinkering for about 12 hours, my blood sugar is 160. I do think fasting, for me and for this if it is not an actual main thrust, will be good. Watch those headaches, though, as K9 suggested. I wonder if that is more for people with a normal blood sugar? As mine approaches normal (140 maximum), and stability below that, I will know more. I am turning into my own lab experiment! Who knew disease could be so fun! *evil grins?*
My brain is not quite awake. It was excited when posting comments, but how conscious I really am remains to be seen. It will depend on if what I wrote is understood. Same here, but I am not as excited, so... Good luck. Then again, I am keeping it simple. I think I am going to tinker on the machine, then prepare a decent meal, and then read. And, like K9, I had a lot of problems writing tonight. I had to edit like a madman, both with this and my comments. Go figure. :p
Oh, one more note. Now you may know why I chose the avatar I chose. In the movie Hell Boy, the first one, the FBI guy told Hell Boy he had a choice. He did not have to be what he is, was, or how he was made, give or take. Not only am I big, prone to being quite red at times (I can flush or seemingly sunburn (though I do not actually burn, oddly, and am prone not even to burn my fingers in hot oil while frying chicken... weird, almost forgot that), I too had a choice. I could have tried to be what some aspect had cast me to be, or to remain what people who loved me knew me as, and I did choose. I would like to think I chose wisely, and with God. Same same, in so many ways. As one of my favorites said many a time, "And now you know... the rest of the story". (I am not good with quotes, but I try).
To you, probably, good day by now. So... Good day!
.
I hate those drops they put in the eyes. I know what one of them was supposed to do and did do, that was to dilate my eyes. The other drops? There were two or three other droplets added. My pupils were dilated, but my eyes have had this filmy feel to them all day. Though that persists a bit, it is better and I can now read again. That filmy eye sensation is simply a creepy feeling.
Okay, fine. I will not go private. I really wondered, there for a bit. Remember, the title of that post was "Pouting". Rather than being sent to my room, I was told that I ought to quit pouting. Ha! Well, so I will for a while anyway. I have a fine lip for it though, online or not. See... *pout*
I could not go shooting today. I was absolutely bushed when I returned. I did not knock on my neighbor's door, I came in, maybe blogged a bit, then crashed hard. I just woke up, refreshed and ready. I have some non-biblical reading to do, online mostly. When curiosity is piqued, I... must... investigate... I bet cats know that. It is why they have nine lives and breed prolifically! Doh! I must have nine lives too, but I am down to 3 or 4 I think. But I did find out, darn it! *grins* I did buy 500 .22 long rifle bullets today though, so with the other two or three hundred, I should be able to sight in the .22 and get practiced. I will only use 10 or 20 at a time, from now on, to sight it in. I will then try to adjust or take it for realignment if needed. I have about 1,000 rounds for my .22 pistol, to plink with. So, if the rifle is not right and I cannot fix it, I will pull out the pistol and shoot everything. I have not used it on the target yet, so I may have to do that. Though that 1,000 rounds for that is high velocity and tends to shoot high to aim. I hate that. I might have to adjust it too, for the faster rounds. Who knows.
To clear that up a bit, I use standard velocity .22 rounds (for accuracy) with the rifle. I use high velocity rounds with the pistol only because they are not as accurate. I need the accuracy for the rifle since I will be using it to shoot for the hunters safety course (and hunting after that). The high velocity rounds are remnants from trying various ammunition in my guns or they were bought thinking I might not be able to find standard velocity ammunition. When I run out of high velocity rounds, since I have found a place where I can get standard velocity rounds, from now on I will only buy standard velocity rounds for plinking or hunting or target practice. As well, when money clears up, I will probably begin buying subsonic rounds to try in my various guns. They are a bit pricier, and iffy in the guns I have, but I like the notion. They might even be a LOT more accurate.
After breaking fast, then having had two meals, then sleeping and tinkering for about 12 hours, my blood sugar is 160. I do think fasting, for me and for this if it is not an actual main thrust, will be good. Watch those headaches, though, as K9 suggested. I wonder if that is more for people with a normal blood sugar? As mine approaches normal (140 maximum), and stability below that, I will know more. I am turning into my own lab experiment! Who knew disease could be so fun! *evil grins?*
My brain is not quite awake. It was excited when posting comments, but how conscious I really am remains to be seen. It will depend on if what I wrote is understood. Same here, but I am not as excited, so... Good luck. Then again, I am keeping it simple. I think I am going to tinker on the machine, then prepare a decent meal, and then read. And, like K9, I had a lot of problems writing tonight. I had to edit like a madman, both with this and my comments. Go figure. :p
Oh, one more note. Now you may know why I chose the avatar I chose. In the movie Hell Boy, the first one, the FBI guy told Hell Boy he had a choice. He did not have to be what he is, was, or how he was made, give or take. Not only am I big, prone to being quite red at times (I can flush or seemingly sunburn (though I do not actually burn, oddly, and am prone not even to burn my fingers in hot oil while frying chicken... weird, almost forgot that), I too had a choice. I could have tried to be what some aspect had cast me to be, or to remain what people who loved me knew me as, and I did choose. I would like to think I chose wisely, and with God. Same same, in so many ways. As one of my favorites said many a time, "And now you know... the rest of the story". (I am not good with quotes, but I try).
To you, probably, good day by now. So... Good day!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Odd but true.
.
.
I made my appointments today, but the only way to do that was to stay up all night. My days and nights are still mixed up. I did make it, I suppose that is what counts. The first visit saw to the fitting for a new pair of glasses. They have some decent glasses frames there to choose from. After letting the lady do her work, I asked if my eyes really had improved. They have, for the second time in 10 years, with high blood pressure, then with h.b.p. and diabetes.
Then I needed to visit the optometrist, the other clinic. These had tools the first optometry clinic did not. I went through about 5 tests. The good news is that what the other optometrist had seen was there, but it was not a big deal, at all. After I suggested I had been in many fights, they believe it is a minor interior blemish from that. The better news was that on some of the tests I performed faster and better than my doctor had ever heard of or administered. After two tests, he called in two other doctors for the last three tests. And they all took turns looking. When I saw that they were gathering, I asked if it was a conspiracy and the two new ones said, "Yes". My paranoia is right again. Ha! Oh, and my doctor had thought he would see significant problems in my eyes because of the diabetes. He saw little to none. And, no, they did not understand.
Next, a drive to the Ogden clinic and a check of things. I told the lady that my blood sugar had dropped to 159, that I have been trying to change my diet (to proteins and vegetables). She was pleased. I told her about the fasting, and she thought that was a good idea (I did explain that I had been monitoring my blood sugar throughout though). Then we took my blood pressure. I think the first one was 158/95, the second was 146/96. That sure beats 207/120, and is nearing the goal of 135ish/85ish (which I will never reach, but at 140/90, I have been told I will get Ritalin again). So, I told her I would stay on the medicine, and that I would take the water pill if they sent it. She asked if I would take the niacin (niaspan) or metformin. I told her that I am still quite tired and weak, and that I wanted to go slow. But I said I would take the water pill if she would send it, as well as the Lisinopril. She was good with that, for now. So, as soon as I get that, I will begin taking it too. She asked about exercise and I said that is not terribly available in the shape I am in. I did not tell her that I am going to try to do more, but I am.
For as bad of shape as I am in, I am in pretty good shape so far. I would like to keep it that way. Just a few things, as I can. I am really hoping that a little more time, the water pill, the change in diet, and exercise if I can get to it will bring that b.p. down just a tad more.
I have advanced a bit more through the O.T., but not much with the driving, testing, and all. I am pretty sure the numbers involved with Moses' census, the number of troops, and some other things may be exaggerated. Study will prove or disprove my theory, in time. Perhaps 600,000 plus just meant 'a lot of people'. Sometimes the bible is literal, sometimes it is not.
I may have slit my own blogging throat. I will see what happens this coming week. I might make this a private blog, for me only. Then I can write what I REALLY feel, who I am, and what I do. *laughs* (I write what I think, what I know, and who I am rather truthfully, you know all that can be known ABOUT me now.) I will not have to worry about people running into the hills screaming, "That queer!", or "That conservative!", or "That (fill in the blank)!". Then again, maybe no one is reading this. I will read it later, perhaps. Well, maybe not. I do not care for my writing all that much. Hey, maybe I could print it so when the kids I do not have grow up, they can read it! Not. Ha!
Well, have a great day.
.
I made my appointments today, but the only way to do that was to stay up all night. My days and nights are still mixed up. I did make it, I suppose that is what counts. The first visit saw to the fitting for a new pair of glasses. They have some decent glasses frames there to choose from. After letting the lady do her work, I asked if my eyes really had improved. They have, for the second time in 10 years, with high blood pressure, then with h.b.p. and diabetes.
Then I needed to visit the optometrist, the other clinic. These had tools the first optometry clinic did not. I went through about 5 tests. The good news is that what the other optometrist had seen was there, but it was not a big deal, at all. After I suggested I had been in many fights, they believe it is a minor interior blemish from that. The better news was that on some of the tests I performed faster and better than my doctor had ever heard of or administered. After two tests, he called in two other doctors for the last three tests. And they all took turns looking. When I saw that they were gathering, I asked if it was a conspiracy and the two new ones said, "Yes". My paranoia is right again. Ha! Oh, and my doctor had thought he would see significant problems in my eyes because of the diabetes. He saw little to none. And, no, they did not understand.
Next, a drive to the Ogden clinic and a check of things. I told the lady that my blood sugar had dropped to 159, that I have been trying to change my diet (to proteins and vegetables). She was pleased. I told her about the fasting, and she thought that was a good idea (I did explain that I had been monitoring my blood sugar throughout though). Then we took my blood pressure. I think the first one was 158/95, the second was 146/96. That sure beats 207/120, and is nearing the goal of 135ish/85ish (which I will never reach, but at 140/90, I have been told I will get Ritalin again). So, I told her I would stay on the medicine, and that I would take the water pill if they sent it. She asked if I would take the niacin (niaspan) or metformin. I told her that I am still quite tired and weak, and that I wanted to go slow. But I said I would take the water pill if she would send it, as well as the Lisinopril. She was good with that, for now. So, as soon as I get that, I will begin taking it too. She asked about exercise and I said that is not terribly available in the shape I am in. I did not tell her that I am going to try to do more, but I am.
For as bad of shape as I am in, I am in pretty good shape so far. I would like to keep it that way. Just a few things, as I can. I am really hoping that a little more time, the water pill, the change in diet, and exercise if I can get to it will bring that b.p. down just a tad more.
I have advanced a bit more through the O.T., but not much with the driving, testing, and all. I am pretty sure the numbers involved with Moses' census, the number of troops, and some other things may be exaggerated. Study will prove or disprove my theory, in time. Perhaps 600,000 plus just meant 'a lot of people'. Sometimes the bible is literal, sometimes it is not.
I may have slit my own blogging throat. I will see what happens this coming week. I might make this a private blog, for me only. Then I can write what I REALLY feel, who I am, and what I do. *laughs* (I write what I think, what I know, and who I am rather truthfully, you know all that can be known ABOUT me now.) I will not have to worry about people running into the hills screaming, "That queer!", or "That conservative!", or "That (fill in the blank)!". Then again, maybe no one is reading this. I will read it later, perhaps. Well, maybe not. I do not care for my writing all that much. Hey, maybe I could print it so when the kids I do not have grow up, they can read it! Not. Ha!
Well, have a great day.
Pouting.
.
.
Everything I have attempted this week has come to naught. Not only that, every one of them has piled on more work on top of the work I cannot seem to get done. I am backing up and the machine is getting clogged. I have no idea how to get some important things done. From registering my vehicle here, to my drivers license, to getting this apartment contract out from under me (the bigger one), to... pick one.
Tomorrow I have three appointments, two at the V.A. in SLC and one in Ogden. While I am at the Ogden clinic, I am going to fill out the forms for reimbursement for travel, I have some belief that they did not send them. Why? Because 100%'ers get reimbursed and it has been over a month now. The V.A. can be slow, but not that slow. This time I will take the paperwork and submit it myself. I have some wonder if they circular file such requests from some people. Paranoid? Yea, sure, whatever. *duck!*
I just finished fasting. Reading the bible and seeing that over and over, I was not sure I could do it. In the Jewish customs, I believe they fast from sun up to sun down, and then they may eat. Instead, I went without any food for two days. Yes, I was checking my blood sugar. I dropped from 261 to 159, if there was an odd tick in there where it went down, up, then down again. Cool. It was a test, if induced a bit by the reading, as a gift to God, and as a means of pouting, or really just being discouraged. Why have just one reason, try them all!
Now that I know I can do it, I may try from one to two days most weeks. I generally will not be discussing it, just doing it. Though if asked, I will speak about it. It makes a nice opening for proselytizing. And, I do not think it would be bad for any part of me. It not only helps me focus on God, perhaps Christ's suffering (though honestly, I thought it was a cake walk), to the more mundane focus on what I do eat, when, and why. Supposedly, if you have diabetes or some other health issues (heart for sure), you should at least consult a doctor. So I will not willy-nilly recommend it. But if you are healthy, it might be worth a shot.
My reading of the Old Testament is quite slow. I am to 1 Chronicles 19. This looks just like the other passages about the same kings, their heirs, their successes, their sinning. *sigh* And, no, I have not memorized the family links from Adam to David. I trust them. Ha! What I do see, however, is a striking resemblance between their fall, and why it came about, and all the other great nations who have fallen (or are about to fall). I also noted that God was disappointed that the people wanted a king. Hmm, who else is calling for a king, or at least the bureaucratic power equivalent to one? Let me think.
If I get back early enough tomorrow, I will go shooting. I did get the rifle taken in and the sight adjusted, but there is only one way to know if that was enough, too much, or just right. Perhaps too, now that it is loosened (?), I may be able to move it myself with the tools on hand. If not, back it goes. At $5 a pop, I am not terribly worried. Still, I would rather not have another ongoing dysfunctional project on my hands. Grrrrrrrrhhhhhhahaha! (or something like that, as a friend of mine has been known to growl)
To break the fast, this evening, I had a pork chop, eggs, and some peas with butter. A glass of milk topped it off nicely. It was not too much or too little. To be honest, I was not all that hungry or interested. It was good and all, food simply was not as missed as I thought it would be. But as I said in a comment, I am not out digging ditches, plowing new ground, hauling stone blocks, or such. I sit around and read, tinker on the machine, blog, and pee too. It will be interesting to see how I do on a busy fasting day. I may pass that information on when I know more. Still, from 261 to 159, a 102 point drop in blood sugar. Nice. Plus with my better eating, I can probably bring that down even more, if more slowly generally. Any troubles with it going too low and I will eat a bowl of ice cream first, or add orange juice in there somewhere. Oh, yes, I went from 285.5 to 277.7, though that was not and will not be part of the scheme, directly.
Well, that is my shell in a nutlife. Good night, K9.
.
Everything I have attempted this week has come to naught. Not only that, every one of them has piled on more work on top of the work I cannot seem to get done. I am backing up and the machine is getting clogged. I have no idea how to get some important things done. From registering my vehicle here, to my drivers license, to getting this apartment contract out from under me (the bigger one), to... pick one.
Tomorrow I have three appointments, two at the V.A. in SLC and one in Ogden. While I am at the Ogden clinic, I am going to fill out the forms for reimbursement for travel, I have some belief that they did not send them. Why? Because 100%'ers get reimbursed and it has been over a month now. The V.A. can be slow, but not that slow. This time I will take the paperwork and submit it myself. I have some wonder if they circular file such requests from some people. Paranoid? Yea, sure, whatever. *duck!*
I just finished fasting. Reading the bible and seeing that over and over, I was not sure I could do it. In the Jewish customs, I believe they fast from sun up to sun down, and then they may eat. Instead, I went without any food for two days. Yes, I was checking my blood sugar. I dropped from 261 to 159, if there was an odd tick in there where it went down, up, then down again. Cool. It was a test, if induced a bit by the reading, as a gift to God, and as a means of pouting, or really just being discouraged. Why have just one reason, try them all!
Now that I know I can do it, I may try from one to two days most weeks. I generally will not be discussing it, just doing it. Though if asked, I will speak about it. It makes a nice opening for proselytizing. And, I do not think it would be bad for any part of me. It not only helps me focus on God, perhaps Christ's suffering (though honestly, I thought it was a cake walk), to the more mundane focus on what I do eat, when, and why. Supposedly, if you have diabetes or some other health issues (heart for sure), you should at least consult a doctor. So I will not willy-nilly recommend it. But if you are healthy, it might be worth a shot.
My reading of the Old Testament is quite slow. I am to 1 Chronicles 19. This looks just like the other passages about the same kings, their heirs, their successes, their sinning. *sigh* And, no, I have not memorized the family links from Adam to David. I trust them. Ha! What I do see, however, is a striking resemblance between their fall, and why it came about, and all the other great nations who have fallen (or are about to fall). I also noted that God was disappointed that the people wanted a king. Hmm, who else is calling for a king, or at least the bureaucratic power equivalent to one? Let me think.
If I get back early enough tomorrow, I will go shooting. I did get the rifle taken in and the sight adjusted, but there is only one way to know if that was enough, too much, or just right. Perhaps too, now that it is loosened (?), I may be able to move it myself with the tools on hand. If not, back it goes. At $5 a pop, I am not terribly worried. Still, I would rather not have another ongoing dysfunctional project on my hands. Grrrrrrrrhhhhhhahaha! (or something like that, as a friend of mine has been known to growl)
To break the fast, this evening, I had a pork chop, eggs, and some peas with butter. A glass of milk topped it off nicely. It was not too much or too little. To be honest, I was not all that hungry or interested. It was good and all, food simply was not as missed as I thought it would be. But as I said in a comment, I am not out digging ditches, plowing new ground, hauling stone blocks, or such. I sit around and read, tinker on the machine, blog, and pee too. It will be interesting to see how I do on a busy fasting day. I may pass that information on when I know more. Still, from 261 to 159, a 102 point drop in blood sugar. Nice. Plus with my better eating, I can probably bring that down even more, if more slowly generally. Any troubles with it going too low and I will eat a bowl of ice cream first, or add orange juice in there somewhere. Oh, yes, I went from 285.5 to 277.7, though that was not and will not be part of the scheme, directly.
Well, that is my shell in a nutlife. Good night, K9.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Praying for others.
.
.
I have recently received prayer requests through the various blogs I read. Upon reading of some other situations where hearts are sore, people are ill, or people seem adrift I will pray of my own accord. As well I am still linked to a prayer circle or two. I always pray right then and there, upon request or seeing the need, and then try to remember to queue them into my ongoing regular prayers until situations improve or the situation becomes settled and then sometimes a little longer. I no longer let people know, I just do it.
When I pray, I pray not for a specific outcome though there is that notion and God knows our intentions when we come to Him in prayer. I pray that, whatever happens that the person or people I say a prayer in regards will be able to live with what happens, or as it may be that they or theirs may die in grace. And that they will know peace and have acceptance for the outcome. I pray that if it is their time to die or lose someone precious that they will not forget the love they have known and shared, that they may come to understand that this is not God's doing, and that they may be settled in death or in time. And of course, hallelujah should it all turn out well!
I have learned something else regarding prayer, in the N.T. We may pray for the forgiveness of the sins of others, if they are not mortal sins. Mortal sins, you say? Yes, I know there is a list of them, but what sets sins apart, mortal from venal as I know them (serious to simple for some of you others, term wise?), I mean to investigate. There are simpler versions and scholarly tomes probably for each one and their various stages, if one wanted to dig that deep. All I know was that I was overjoyed to read that we could pray, and successfully, for the forgiveness of the more minor of sins committed by others. That is what St. Paul, I think, suggested. No, not suggested, said.
My bible reading is going well. Repetition, of course, continues. Still, as I said, I see things in the repetition that are not quite just repetitive. Some might say that is simply hypnotics in symmetry, or some other pop psychology thing. And though there is something, sometimes, to pop psychology, it is nothing to adjust a compass by to be sure. Some of this is slowly coming back, overlaid by what I am currently reading and thinking, it adds depth of understanding. But I know I am missing some things. As I said, however, this is merely a precursor to my actual studies. I know I missed much of the subtext in the N.T. as well. It is a living book, no man can truly understand it. Not even Christ while He walked as a man, if I am to take His words literally. And I see no reason not to take what He said concerning His knowledge while of flesh literally.
Ah, something else. I did note that both the O.T. and the N.T. condemn homosexuality (among males) as an abomination. It does not speak of lesbians or transsexuals. One could infer, of course, one upon the others. This would make even the thoughts along such lines sins. I have never quite completely wrapped my head around all that, but some of it is plane and clear and beyond reproach. In my life and ways, I have cleared my mind of such. I am now free of such notions. But if a man once was a sinner, is he not always a sinner? Yeah, I do study. And, I pray.
Ah, the beef ribs are thawed. I do not want to wait too long to cook them this time so I will cook them tonight. Though I despise the microwave, it makes the fat (one of my favorite things) taste horrible in meats. If they are cooked in the oven (and of course I will have to taste two or three of them!), and just reheated (carefully) in the microwave, they can taste okay. Then again, I might just heat them up again in the oven. I have a love hate relationship with the microwave.
I have another task, this one odd. One of the bottles I use for making soda water is jammed. There are two tubes for the bottle. One you put in then fill with water. The other you add through that. Then you screw the top on and then charge. I forgot the second tube. Now it is quite pressurized yet will not dispense. I will have to call the manufacturer. I tried to cool it, but it was pretty cold as was. And I know NOT to heat it. hehe But that might be fun, if rather expensive. Anyway, I am down to one canister for the moment. I hope it is something I can fix. *ugh*
Good night.
.
I have recently received prayer requests through the various blogs I read. Upon reading of some other situations where hearts are sore, people are ill, or people seem adrift I will pray of my own accord. As well I am still linked to a prayer circle or two. I always pray right then and there, upon request or seeing the need, and then try to remember to queue them into my ongoing regular prayers until situations improve or the situation becomes settled and then sometimes a little longer. I no longer let people know, I just do it.
When I pray, I pray not for a specific outcome though there is that notion and God knows our intentions when we come to Him in prayer. I pray that, whatever happens that the person or people I say a prayer in regards will be able to live with what happens, or as it may be that they or theirs may die in grace. And that they will know peace and have acceptance for the outcome. I pray that if it is their time to die or lose someone precious that they will not forget the love they have known and shared, that they may come to understand that this is not God's doing, and that they may be settled in death or in time. And of course, hallelujah should it all turn out well!
I have learned something else regarding prayer, in the N.T. We may pray for the forgiveness of the sins of others, if they are not mortal sins. Mortal sins, you say? Yes, I know there is a list of them, but what sets sins apart, mortal from venal as I know them (serious to simple for some of you others, term wise?), I mean to investigate. There are simpler versions and scholarly tomes probably for each one and their various stages, if one wanted to dig that deep. All I know was that I was overjoyed to read that we could pray, and successfully, for the forgiveness of the more minor of sins committed by others. That is what St. Paul, I think, suggested. No, not suggested, said.
My bible reading is going well. Repetition, of course, continues. Still, as I said, I see things in the repetition that are not quite just repetitive. Some might say that is simply hypnotics in symmetry, or some other pop psychology thing. And though there is something, sometimes, to pop psychology, it is nothing to adjust a compass by to be sure. Some of this is slowly coming back, overlaid by what I am currently reading and thinking, it adds depth of understanding. But I know I am missing some things. As I said, however, this is merely a precursor to my actual studies. I know I missed much of the subtext in the N.T. as well. It is a living book, no man can truly understand it. Not even Christ while He walked as a man, if I am to take His words literally. And I see no reason not to take what He said concerning His knowledge while of flesh literally.
Ah, something else. I did note that both the O.T. and the N.T. condemn homosexuality (among males) as an abomination. It does not speak of lesbians or transsexuals. One could infer, of course, one upon the others. This would make even the thoughts along such lines sins. I have never quite completely wrapped my head around all that, but some of it is plane and clear and beyond reproach. In my life and ways, I have cleared my mind of such. I am now free of such notions. But if a man once was a sinner, is he not always a sinner? Yeah, I do study. And, I pray.
Ah, the beef ribs are thawed. I do not want to wait too long to cook them this time so I will cook them tonight. Though I despise the microwave, it makes the fat (one of my favorite things) taste horrible in meats. If they are cooked in the oven (and of course I will have to taste two or three of them!), and just reheated (carefully) in the microwave, they can taste okay. Then again, I might just heat them up again in the oven. I have a love hate relationship with the microwave.
I have another task, this one odd. One of the bottles I use for making soda water is jammed. There are two tubes for the bottle. One you put in then fill with water. The other you add through that. Then you screw the top on and then charge. I forgot the second tube. Now it is quite pressurized yet will not dispense. I will have to call the manufacturer. I tried to cool it, but it was pretty cold as was. And I know NOT to heat it. hehe But that might be fun, if rather expensive. Anyway, I am down to one canister for the moment. I hope it is something I can fix. *ugh*
Good night.
Monday, September 7, 2009
I even knew!
.
.
After getting ready and going out, slowly as I suggested, I drove to the DMV. No cars there, none. I knew they must be closed but did not know why. Out of the vehicle and up to the door I strode. "We have temporarily moved to such and such." Well, okay. So, back in the vehicle and to such and such. Hmm, no cars here either. Let me guess, they moved again. Out I go and up I stride. "We will be closed on Labor Day." As I said, I knew that. I knew it was labor day on the 7th, I just did not equate the 7th with today is all. I hope it makes all you who do the same darned thing feel better?
I drove around trying to decide what to do. Look around in a gun shop, Wal-Mart, or some other merchant provider? No, I would simply spend money, something I cannot do until I get this apartment straightened out. Stop somewhere to eat? Yes, but not first. Ah ha! I could look for a place to get a haircut! And so I did. I look and feel human again. It is cooler too. And it will be much cheaper (in shampoo and time) to clean. I had wanted a haircut before I went in for the new drivers license as well. Done and done, my ears are visible to others and my bangs are no longer visible to me. All good.
I suppose I could take some things over to storage, do laundry, or who knows. But I am really tired today. I guess it will simply be another day of rest, other than the haircut. I did stop and buy some of the good Mexican food, though this time I was more careful about how much I ate. Not careful enough as it seems, my eyes are trying to sneak shut as I write. I will stay up until 22:00 or 23:00 though, as now that I am sleeping in single long periods, I can more easily change my nights back into days with a little effort.
Someone was confused about what it was, exactly, that my mother did for me. They wondered if her actions had changed the course of the events in my life. I corrected them but thought I should add something here. She did not really change who I was, she just taught me to be quiet about it at least until I was strong enough to make the decision on my own and wise enough to seek a safer place in which to do that. Frankly, she made it so I could handle myself against aggression and understood the risks, thereby not becoming a target at too early of an age. And, no, I really think she honestly hated doing it. Where we lived, such things were dangerous, truly. As an adult, she has been very caring and has wished me only the best in whatever choices I might have needed to make. And before the therapist, too, she was rather lenient in this regard. I made the decision on my own, considering what I think of as right and wrong, what I saw in my schooling about such matters, and other things. Though I might say God played His hand in things too. He does, you know. She did not, in any way, change my ways or such when the time for the decision was at hand or through the discipline.
Have a great day! Oh, yeah, I hope your holiday weekend was fun.
.
After getting ready and going out, slowly as I suggested, I drove to the DMV. No cars there, none. I knew they must be closed but did not know why. Out of the vehicle and up to the door I strode. "We have temporarily moved to such and such." Well, okay. So, back in the vehicle and to such and such. Hmm, no cars here either. Let me guess, they moved again. Out I go and up I stride. "We will be closed on Labor Day." As I said, I knew that. I knew it was labor day on the 7th, I just did not equate the 7th with today is all. I hope it makes all you who do the same darned thing feel better?
I drove around trying to decide what to do. Look around in a gun shop, Wal-Mart, or some other merchant provider? No, I would simply spend money, something I cannot do until I get this apartment straightened out. Stop somewhere to eat? Yes, but not first. Ah ha! I could look for a place to get a haircut! And so I did. I look and feel human again. It is cooler too. And it will be much cheaper (in shampoo and time) to clean. I had wanted a haircut before I went in for the new drivers license as well. Done and done, my ears are visible to others and my bangs are no longer visible to me. All good.
I suppose I could take some things over to storage, do laundry, or who knows. But I am really tired today. I guess it will simply be another day of rest, other than the haircut. I did stop and buy some of the good Mexican food, though this time I was more careful about how much I ate. Not careful enough as it seems, my eyes are trying to sneak shut as I write. I will stay up until 22:00 or 23:00 though, as now that I am sleeping in single long periods, I can more easily change my nights back into days with a little effort.
Someone was confused about what it was, exactly, that my mother did for me. They wondered if her actions had changed the course of the events in my life. I corrected them but thought I should add something here. She did not really change who I was, she just taught me to be quiet about it at least until I was strong enough to make the decision on my own and wise enough to seek a safer place in which to do that. Frankly, she made it so I could handle myself against aggression and understood the risks, thereby not becoming a target at too early of an age. And, no, I really think she honestly hated doing it. Where we lived, such things were dangerous, truly. As an adult, she has been very caring and has wished me only the best in whatever choices I might have needed to make. And before the therapist, too, she was rather lenient in this regard. I made the decision on my own, considering what I think of as right and wrong, what I saw in my schooling about such matters, and other things. Though I might say God played His hand in things too. He does, you know. She did not, in any way, change my ways or such when the time for the decision was at hand or through the discipline.
Have a great day! Oh, yeah, I hope your holiday weekend was fun.
Summer time blues?
.
.
I enjoy reading blogs, but they seem to have dried up. It could be the summer doldrums or things are changing. I am surprised some people have continued to blog. There is much to write about, but too much sometimes. And, it might well be becoming dangerous to blog. I doubt if anyone will quit for that reason but you never know. But people do slow down blogging right about the time in winter and summer when there is little else to do and at various times throughout the year for no apparent reason. My blogging has picked up, if too it is merely the simple day to day activities with a few thoughts on this or that. I do hope it picks up soon though. The V.J. thing should die out though. It has succeeded but become quite boring. More heads for the pike!
I am just getting up, though I think I can still get everything on my list completed. Or, as it usually turns out with things, I can get them started. A drive to obtain plates and a drivers license, a conversation with the apartment manager, a call to a gun smith about the .22, some stuff over to storage, pick up a package of bungee cords, and... Some other things I am sure. At least I am doing well this morning. I am ready to rumble, as it were.
I have been tinkering with the air conditioning, to try and use it minimally. If I turn it on a few hours before I go to bed, I can turn it off when I go to sleep with just the fan on. Any other way and I risk it being too cool or too warm to either wake up or to sleep. As well, with it off, the warming from the day will wake me up. I suppose I already knew this, but like something that itches which you know you should not scratch, it gets scratched now and then anyway. Humans are the oddest of creatures. We do not want to follow just what we are told, do what even we know will work, or simply deal with things. We like to improve our environment. That improvement has costs, personal comfort, financial, and time. Still, I like it.
The book of Numbers was interesting though it seems to have hit a snag. Repetition creeps in and the task becomes mind numbing. Then again, staying up late reading can do that anyway. I try to read when my mind is in a better receiving mode, but that is not always available. When it gets too bad, I take a break and tinker to reset the mind or prepare for sleep. The oddest things happen in the course of the Jewish exodus. A lot of people sin and die, grumble and are punished, and such. Some things are quite odd. You would think, with God or an angel in their midst and seeing what He or he can and will do that people would be a little more careful. I suppose people, now as then, are people. I cannot exactly remember how many times Moses stayed God from simply wiping them out and starting over. I also did not realize there were over a half a million men, somewhere over 600,000. That does not include all men, let alone women and children. The census was only counting men over 20 years of age capable of waging war. It did count the Levites (their priestly tribe) separately, and male first-born children on their own, but no indication of how many women (and back then, a man could have more than one wife).
My lady friend just called. It sounds like her life is going well. She bought a canoe this year, just recently. She has not rigged her truck to pick it up though, so it is still at the store and will stay there until a rainy day. She is not taking a day off from gardening. I think, if she does, it is too easy for her to not go back and that bugs her. The garden or farm she works at has had success in some of the produce, with broccoli heads as big as basketballs. It seems it has been a cool year there, so some things did really well. And she seems to be caught up on things, where last time I spoke with her she would not talk about it because she had not been out there as much as she wanted to be. Ha! Ah, her list for Christmas food: spinach; oysters for stewing; the makings for chili; and popcorn. I have my own food list too, and it includes, let me see, oh right... meat, meat, meat, and uhm, more meat. Oh, and milk.
I best get going. Time is not really of the essence, but I seem to be able to waste it as well as I used to be able to lose glasses, shoes, and socks as a kid. I was a master, and it seems to have transferred from clothes to time. At least I am good at something.
Have a great day!
.
I enjoy reading blogs, but they seem to have dried up. It could be the summer doldrums or things are changing. I am surprised some people have continued to blog. There is much to write about, but too much sometimes. And, it might well be becoming dangerous to blog. I doubt if anyone will quit for that reason but you never know. But people do slow down blogging right about the time in winter and summer when there is little else to do and at various times throughout the year for no apparent reason. My blogging has picked up, if too it is merely the simple day to day activities with a few thoughts on this or that. I do hope it picks up soon though. The V.J. thing should die out though. It has succeeded but become quite boring. More heads for the pike!
I am just getting up, though I think I can still get everything on my list completed. Or, as it usually turns out with things, I can get them started. A drive to obtain plates and a drivers license, a conversation with the apartment manager, a call to a gun smith about the .22, some stuff over to storage, pick up a package of bungee cords, and... Some other things I am sure. At least I am doing well this morning. I am ready to rumble, as it were.
I have been tinkering with the air conditioning, to try and use it minimally. If I turn it on a few hours before I go to bed, I can turn it off when I go to sleep with just the fan on. Any other way and I risk it being too cool or too warm to either wake up or to sleep. As well, with it off, the warming from the day will wake me up. I suppose I already knew this, but like something that itches which you know you should not scratch, it gets scratched now and then anyway. Humans are the oddest of creatures. We do not want to follow just what we are told, do what even we know will work, or simply deal with things. We like to improve our environment. That improvement has costs, personal comfort, financial, and time. Still, I like it.
The book of Numbers was interesting though it seems to have hit a snag. Repetition creeps in and the task becomes mind numbing. Then again, staying up late reading can do that anyway. I try to read when my mind is in a better receiving mode, but that is not always available. When it gets too bad, I take a break and tinker to reset the mind or prepare for sleep. The oddest things happen in the course of the Jewish exodus. A lot of people sin and die, grumble and are punished, and such. Some things are quite odd. You would think, with God or an angel in their midst and seeing what He or he can and will do that people would be a little more careful. I suppose people, now as then, are people. I cannot exactly remember how many times Moses stayed God from simply wiping them out and starting over. I also did not realize there were over a half a million men, somewhere over 600,000. That does not include all men, let alone women and children. The census was only counting men over 20 years of age capable of waging war. It did count the Levites (their priestly tribe) separately, and male first-born children on their own, but no indication of how many women (and back then, a man could have more than one wife).
My lady friend just called. It sounds like her life is going well. She bought a canoe this year, just recently. She has not rigged her truck to pick it up though, so it is still at the store and will stay there until a rainy day. She is not taking a day off from gardening. I think, if she does, it is too easy for her to not go back and that bugs her. The garden or farm she works at has had success in some of the produce, with broccoli heads as big as basketballs. It seems it has been a cool year there, so some things did really well. And she seems to be caught up on things, where last time I spoke with her she would not talk about it because she had not been out there as much as she wanted to be. Ha! Ah, her list for Christmas food: spinach; oysters for stewing; the makings for chili; and popcorn. I have my own food list too, and it includes, let me see, oh right... meat, meat, meat, and uhm, more meat. Oh, and milk.
I best get going. Time is not really of the essence, but I seem to be able to waste it as well as I used to be able to lose glasses, shoes, and socks as a kid. I was a master, and it seems to have transferred from clothes to time. At least I am good at something.
Have a great day!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Resting, reading, and calling.
.
.
As I went to call my mother, my phone showed that I had received a call... yesterday morning. The system only recently decided to let me know. I am not quite sure why Verizon sometimes takes a day and a half to put a message through. Perhaps I should shut my phone off occasionally. In any case, it was my mother, and she was in good spirits. So, I called her back. She was not at home so I tried her cell. That she did answer.
She has been canning. She produced 19 jars of salsa yesterday and 10 jars of spaghetti sauce today. Both are quite good. And though I share, I almost do it grudgingly. Mine! I feel like saying. She was quite tired, readying herself to goof with computer games then go to bed, we talked only briefly. The only news was that my brother had a blood clot, but a series of self given shots, and then soon a start on blood thinners, and he should be fine. I keep him in my prayers, and his family too.
We do not speak, my brother and myself, because of what I revealed to you the other day. His wife works with children, has a degree in psychology, but could not and did not handle the news well, when it broke. Back when I considered going further with it, I let people know. They make it seem as if she was too fragile to hear such things, though in truth I suspect she was just looking for a reason to cut us out from his life. And, whatever the truth, she did. After rejection after rejection, even one face to face, I have simply disassociated myself with him and his. I have never seen his daughters and most likely never will.
I am nearly to Numbers. Leviticus is not too repetitive and it is interesting to a degree, including learning from whence came the term scapegoat. Numbers, as I hear it, is both concerned with law and history, unlike Leviticus and to some degree Exodus. So, I am hoping it is even a bit more interesting. Today is the perfect day for reading the bible. It is a Sunday, I am rested, and my mind is into reading. I have several other things I will be or have been adding into my reading as well, from D.C. and Dr. And, of course, blogs. I gather better news, and quicker, from blogs. Papers and other msm simply do not, or do not correctly, cover the news. I am usually more informed than those who read the paper and watch television or cable news, and what my reading suggests is usually right on the money, while they are surprised by resignations, changes in policy or proposed policy, and such. There is not contest, really.
Tomorrow needs to be a busy day. My vehicle registration and drivers license needs to be changed. I am not sure if the drivers license office is open. In Iowa, at times and in certain places, they were only open a few days a week. With Logan being larger, there is a chance it will be open all week. I also need to seriously begin getting things to storage to make the move simpler. I will take some things there, then get the dolly for an easier work of the rest of it. I may pick up some bungee cords as well, to simplify the task even more. Oh, and I really need to figure out how to get this apartment contract advertised in a broader way. Two college bulletin boards is not enough.
Breakfast for supper. Eggs and sausage with a glass of milk. I have become better at cooking my eggs. Flipping them, not over cooking the yokes, and yet getting all the whites cooked. I used to have this down, but then I stopped cooking for a long time, and I stopped cooking eggs before I sort of quit cooking generally. I took beef ribs and... some other meat... out of the freezer to thaw in the refrigerator. After I kept the last ribs (of this type) too long so that even when cooked them I did not eat them, I am hungry for them. Hopefully by tomorrow evening they will be thawed. It was pork chops, thick as I could get them, that was the other meat.
I did try to call my lady friend, but both her phones went straight to message. I left a message on the second one. She will probably get back to me before too long. I have two appointments on Friday, three if you count that I need to be fitted for a new pair of glasses. I still cannot quite figure out why my eyes would improve. I do not think they quite understand either. I will take it and be quiet though.
Good night. Probably.
.
As I went to call my mother, my phone showed that I had received a call... yesterday morning. The system only recently decided to let me know. I am not quite sure why Verizon sometimes takes a day and a half to put a message through. Perhaps I should shut my phone off occasionally. In any case, it was my mother, and she was in good spirits. So, I called her back. She was not at home so I tried her cell. That she did answer.
She has been canning. She produced 19 jars of salsa yesterday and 10 jars of spaghetti sauce today. Both are quite good. And though I share, I almost do it grudgingly. Mine! I feel like saying. She was quite tired, readying herself to goof with computer games then go to bed, we talked only briefly. The only news was that my brother had a blood clot, but a series of self given shots, and then soon a start on blood thinners, and he should be fine. I keep him in my prayers, and his family too.
We do not speak, my brother and myself, because of what I revealed to you the other day. His wife works with children, has a degree in psychology, but could not and did not handle the news well, when it broke. Back when I considered going further with it, I let people know. They make it seem as if she was too fragile to hear such things, though in truth I suspect she was just looking for a reason to cut us out from his life. And, whatever the truth, she did. After rejection after rejection, even one face to face, I have simply disassociated myself with him and his. I have never seen his daughters and most likely never will.
I am nearly to Numbers. Leviticus is not too repetitive and it is interesting to a degree, including learning from whence came the term scapegoat. Numbers, as I hear it, is both concerned with law and history, unlike Leviticus and to some degree Exodus. So, I am hoping it is even a bit more interesting. Today is the perfect day for reading the bible. It is a Sunday, I am rested, and my mind is into reading. I have several other things I will be or have been adding into my reading as well, from D.C. and Dr. And, of course, blogs. I gather better news, and quicker, from blogs. Papers and other msm simply do not, or do not correctly, cover the news. I am usually more informed than those who read the paper and watch television or cable news, and what my reading suggests is usually right on the money, while they are surprised by resignations, changes in policy or proposed policy, and such. There is not contest, really.
Tomorrow needs to be a busy day. My vehicle registration and drivers license needs to be changed. I am not sure if the drivers license office is open. In Iowa, at times and in certain places, they were only open a few days a week. With Logan being larger, there is a chance it will be open all week. I also need to seriously begin getting things to storage to make the move simpler. I will take some things there, then get the dolly for an easier work of the rest of it. I may pick up some bungee cords as well, to simplify the task even more. Oh, and I really need to figure out how to get this apartment contract advertised in a broader way. Two college bulletin boards is not enough.
Breakfast for supper. Eggs and sausage with a glass of milk. I have become better at cooking my eggs. Flipping them, not over cooking the yokes, and yet getting all the whites cooked. I used to have this down, but then I stopped cooking for a long time, and I stopped cooking eggs before I sort of quit cooking generally. I took beef ribs and... some other meat... out of the freezer to thaw in the refrigerator. After I kept the last ribs (of this type) too long so that even when cooked them I did not eat them, I am hungry for them. Hopefully by tomorrow evening they will be thawed. It was pork chops, thick as I could get them, that was the other meat.
I did try to call my lady friend, but both her phones went straight to message. I left a message on the second one. She will probably get back to me before too long. I have two appointments on Friday, three if you count that I need to be fitted for a new pair of glasses. I still cannot quite figure out why my eyes would improve. I do not think they quite understand either. I will take it and be quiet though.
Good night. Probably.
What a wonderful day!
.
.
Sleep was marvy. I did not sleep until 5:00 or 6:00 and I slept clear till 14:45 or so. I am rested, relaxed, and barring it being Sunday, would head out and do some good work today. Though I am still weaker, I am nearly back to where I was and can continue again to expand the part of my life I own, giving God His dues, of course. I am fully back on track. And, the weather is cooling. It was not to become cool until tomorrow but it is 80 F now or so and will not get much warmer today. Life is good.
I have not checked my blood sugar in a bit, but there are signs it is improving. If you have ever had high blood sugar, you probably know some of them. Smaller meals, more careful planning regarding portions (mostly), cutting out sugar and at least half of the other carbohydrates, while drinking more water and a variety of other things has been helping. It will not drop like a rock, but it is getting better.
I am not sure what to do about my strength, in the short term. It is still quite low. The odd thing is, from shooting like I have been, my arms are getting bigger and more solid. Both of them. It seems shooting a hundred rounds down range, freehand, three to four times a week with a rifle (even a .22!) really is a workout. I wonder how much more could be gained if I could get back to 200 bullets downrange a session? I need more .22 bullets though, I go through them as if I was shooting a lot or something. :p
I think I will make some personal calls today. It is a good day to reach out and talk to someone. My people are always hard to get on the phone, but I should not complain. It means they are busy with life as they well and truly ought to be. It keeps them happy, tired, and can give them something to complain about! Oh, and I am just as bad. Still, it gives ME something to grumble about, which is a good thing.
I have, I do believe, been invited to share a meal with my new renters and a friend early in October. I am quite pleased with this. I really enjoy company and meals. They seem like interesting people and are quite easy going. I am sure we can all have our moments, good and bad, but some folk seem to have more good times than not. I enjoyed our meeting and initial conversations. I just hope I did not seem too much of a boor.
If I did not sleep, I made good inroads into Leviticus. That book, primarily, concerns the old law. What sacrifices to make, how to make them, what to do with the parts, who can eat what, and all that. It is done, as with Exodus, ad naseum. But I read. I really think there is more than simple repetition present, if too I cannot quite find it. I am quite sure there is more going on, both by the repetition and in the content than what is more plainly seen. I suppose, in mythical times, when Merlin would be purported to have read a text where the words, letters, and phrases danced and moved on the page, this might be similar. For me, though nothing truly moves, I see something alive in the text. As I said, I do not quite see it yet. I only note that there is something there. And, no, I did not expect that. I can only guess, that in my youth, I sensed the same and that was part of the reason I read as often as I did. I would guess I read the bible 5 to 6 times in my youth, before I turned 16. Then school, girls, basketball, football, even D&D (before AD&D), and such became too much for anything else.
A few calls then back to reading the living book(s).
Have a great day!
.
Sleep was marvy. I did not sleep until 5:00 or 6:00 and I slept clear till 14:45 or so. I am rested, relaxed, and barring it being Sunday, would head out and do some good work today. Though I am still weaker, I am nearly back to where I was and can continue again to expand the part of my life I own, giving God His dues, of course. I am fully back on track. And, the weather is cooling. It was not to become cool until tomorrow but it is 80 F now or so and will not get much warmer today. Life is good.
I have not checked my blood sugar in a bit, but there are signs it is improving. If you have ever had high blood sugar, you probably know some of them. Smaller meals, more careful planning regarding portions (mostly), cutting out sugar and at least half of the other carbohydrates, while drinking more water and a variety of other things has been helping. It will not drop like a rock, but it is getting better.
I am not sure what to do about my strength, in the short term. It is still quite low. The odd thing is, from shooting like I have been, my arms are getting bigger and more solid. Both of them. It seems shooting a hundred rounds down range, freehand, three to four times a week with a rifle (even a .22!) really is a workout. I wonder how much more could be gained if I could get back to 200 bullets downrange a session? I need more .22 bullets though, I go through them as if I was shooting a lot or something. :p
I think I will make some personal calls today. It is a good day to reach out and talk to someone. My people are always hard to get on the phone, but I should not complain. It means they are busy with life as they well and truly ought to be. It keeps them happy, tired, and can give them something to complain about! Oh, and I am just as bad. Still, it gives ME something to grumble about, which is a good thing.
I have, I do believe, been invited to share a meal with my new renters and a friend early in October. I am quite pleased with this. I really enjoy company and meals. They seem like interesting people and are quite easy going. I am sure we can all have our moments, good and bad, but some folk seem to have more good times than not. I enjoyed our meeting and initial conversations. I just hope I did not seem too much of a boor.
If I did not sleep, I made good inroads into Leviticus. That book, primarily, concerns the old law. What sacrifices to make, how to make them, what to do with the parts, who can eat what, and all that. It is done, as with Exodus, ad naseum. But I read. I really think there is more than simple repetition present, if too I cannot quite find it. I am quite sure there is more going on, both by the repetition and in the content than what is more plainly seen. I suppose, in mythical times, when Merlin would be purported to have read a text where the words, letters, and phrases danced and moved on the page, this might be similar. For me, though nothing truly moves, I see something alive in the text. As I said, I do not quite see it yet. I only note that there is something there. And, no, I did not expect that. I can only guess, that in my youth, I sensed the same and that was part of the reason I read as often as I did. I would guess I read the bible 5 to 6 times in my youth, before I turned 16. Then school, girls, basketball, football, even D&D (before AD&D), and such became too much for anything else.
A few calls then back to reading the living book(s).
Have a great day!
Sleep is elusive.
.
.
Tonight it was. I would have happily slept. Between the extra sleep today and the higher heat while trying to live without air conditioning, I could not fall asleep. I did the dishes, read the bible, and tinkered. I have made it to Leviticus, though have not started that reading yet.
Some things I had remembered were born out in Exodus, however, chief among them was something that had been bothering me. In Genesis and in Exodus, I kept seeing mention of Abraham and others being in God's, or the Lord's as it is often put, presence. Now, this bothered me as I was sure that none could look upon the face of God and live. So it was written in Exodus. When the Lord was with Moses and was asked to reveal or show Himself. I suppose, given God's reality, one could be in His presence without seeing His face. Good, one thing cleared up.
There was a lot of repeating in Exodus, and really in Genesis too. Sometimes I had to make sure I had not lost my page somehow and started rereading what I had just read. Sometimes the passages were exact (or to my understanding) of the passage before it or even a few passages back. Much was told to Moses, and written as such. Then Moses mulled it, it seems. And then he would tell it to some other, sometimes several others. And when discussing the collecting of what was called for in the creation of things, then the building of things as per God's instructions, those instructions were repeated at least once. And yet I have no good clue as to the look of the structures in truth. I may have to look for pictures of recreations, or diagrammed or illustrated construction notes regarding these things.
I also am understanding Jewish law and such better. And, surprisingly, more about Western Civilization. Much of what early, and I would say modern, Christians believe is still somewhat rooted in the old law. Only some things seem to have been done away with by Christ. That is a topic I will be studying very specifically, in time. What was Christ's fulfillment of the law, what did it or He change, other than the specifics of what he directly indicated, such as food laws and of course dependence upon the old law for salvation? If I remember rightly from my youth, what is taught regarding that depends upon one's denomination, if the debate probably only comes down to two or three major schools of thought.
Praying has become a healthy part of my reading. They seem to bolster each other. As well, I would suggest that some of the improvements in my life have occurred because of the reading, the prayer, and answers and direction from those. Ask and you shall receive. I have asked and I am receiving. Pushing a mothballed ship from the docks to function is no easy, simple, or quick thing though, so it takes time. I do have some strong hope and faith that I will become very functional before long at all. That does not mean I will make it through school, get a job, find a wife, or anything. But those are becoming much more possible.
Well, back to reading.
Good night, Isabelle. Is she? I do not know. But she has ringing endorsements! :p
.
Tonight it was. I would have happily slept. Between the extra sleep today and the higher heat while trying to live without air conditioning, I could not fall asleep. I did the dishes, read the bible, and tinkered. I have made it to Leviticus, though have not started that reading yet.
Some things I had remembered were born out in Exodus, however, chief among them was something that had been bothering me. In Genesis and in Exodus, I kept seeing mention of Abraham and others being in God's, or the Lord's as it is often put, presence. Now, this bothered me as I was sure that none could look upon the face of God and live. So it was written in Exodus. When the Lord was with Moses and was asked to reveal or show Himself. I suppose, given God's reality, one could be in His presence without seeing His face. Good, one thing cleared up.
There was a lot of repeating in Exodus, and really in Genesis too. Sometimes I had to make sure I had not lost my page somehow and started rereading what I had just read. Sometimes the passages were exact (or to my understanding) of the passage before it or even a few passages back. Much was told to Moses, and written as such. Then Moses mulled it, it seems. And then he would tell it to some other, sometimes several others. And when discussing the collecting of what was called for in the creation of things, then the building of things as per God's instructions, those instructions were repeated at least once. And yet I have no good clue as to the look of the structures in truth. I may have to look for pictures of recreations, or diagrammed or illustrated construction notes regarding these things.
I also am understanding Jewish law and such better. And, surprisingly, more about Western Civilization. Much of what early, and I would say modern, Christians believe is still somewhat rooted in the old law. Only some things seem to have been done away with by Christ. That is a topic I will be studying very specifically, in time. What was Christ's fulfillment of the law, what did it or He change, other than the specifics of what he directly indicated, such as food laws and of course dependence upon the old law for salvation? If I remember rightly from my youth, what is taught regarding that depends upon one's denomination, if the debate probably only comes down to two or three major schools of thought.
Praying has become a healthy part of my reading. They seem to bolster each other. As well, I would suggest that some of the improvements in my life have occurred because of the reading, the prayer, and answers and direction from those. Ask and you shall receive. I have asked and I am receiving. Pushing a mothballed ship from the docks to function is no easy, simple, or quick thing though, so it takes time. I do have some strong hope and faith that I will become very functional before long at all. That does not mean I will make it through school, get a job, find a wife, or anything. But those are becoming much more possible.
Well, back to reading.
Good night, Isabelle. Is she? I do not know. But she has ringing endorsements! :p
A good easy day.
.
.
I slept well last night and slept again a bit of today. I had nothing planned and nothing came up, so I was able to luxuriate within the confines of the cave. I did note that my neighbor was out and about, on the porch anyway, today and went out to speak with him. A little company is good. And he has little bits of information about this and that. From engines he has worked on to the air craft carrier he was aboard off the coast of Vietnam in the early 60's, he can keep a conversation going. If I am more in the mood to listen, I do. Sometimes I ask questions. And sometimes I redirect the conversation if something else crosses my mind. So it was, an easy restful day.
Since I have not yet taken my clothes in for dry cleaning I suspect I will not be going to church tomorrow. I am, however, getting closer to that goal. Bit by bit, one objection, difficulty, or worry is being tended. I am not sure I will ever be in shape for full and regular attendance. However, if I can get school going again, and begin to get scheduling, regularity, and daytime living down to some sort of art, it may make this easier. It is a goal. I have not made it to midday masses either, yet. Those would help, as they are at various times and throughout the week, usually later in the day, the earliest of them are held at noon.
As my reaction to the medicine is improving, perhaps other things, such as this, will improve as well. Tylenol, as I have said, has become an occasional need rather than a mandatory need. My strength is still decreased by half. But my sleeping has become a bit more regulated. The fevers and muscle and joint pains are rare things. I have even started to be able to live without the air conditioning a good deal of the time. I am nearly back, other than actual strength, to where I was after I had acclimated a bit. It is looking good, more promising than ever before. I hope the medicine has done some good.
I told you I had bought vegetables, frozen, and that I had microwave dishes which would easily cook the stuff. I bought four or five types, and several bags of several of those. I finally, tonight, introduced them into my meal. Along with lamb chops (shoulder cuts, the others are tre pricey), I cooked broccoli. I did, of course, add butter once that was cooked. But I finally got to that part of my meal prep. Hmm, it did not kill me after all. And, really, it was rather tasty. I am on my way with that, now, too.
I have a busy week ahead. I have to get on advertising this apartment. I also need to get my drivers license and tags transferred to Utah. I will be calling a gun smith about my rifle Monday, as well. Oh, and taking some things to storage. Okay, perhaps not a terribly busy week. But these things are rather important. Oh, I believe I can find out about voter registration requirements when I go to the DMV. I will not register Republican, probably, I am still more than a bit put out with the "leadership" in the party. I may not be able to register, technically, right now. But being that the next election will not be until after I have become a resident, they may simply sign me up now. The intricacies of law, however, may preclude that.
Not too much else in the works. Though, of course, even with the one rifle in the shop, I will probably get out and shoot with one or two or three or four or five or six... hmm, I am getting a nice little collection, of the other firearms at my disposal. Or, I could probably buy a couple of 50 packs for one of my neighbor's guns. He would happily let me shoot them just for the brass. He lets me shoot them anyway. And, I would happily share some of the store bought rounds for him to try out. He is easy to please. When the new steak house opens, I plan to try it out. I will have to buy his meal, if he will allow it, as thanks for helping me to walk and get out.
Oh, perhaps I could start checking into the swim times and costs, now that I am becoming healthy and able again. It is only a few blocks away, currently. Depending on monthly, quarterly, or yearly prices, it could be a very good way for me to slim and strengthen. I have needs which will bring me in very close proximity to the building which houses the office within which one might procure a swimming pass. And with my preferred penchant of not wasting time on one or two tasks when three or more tasks may be completed for nearly the same energy and time, it behooves me to investigate.
Well, I hope your day was good? Perhaps I will write later. Perhaps this is good night. May light and peace fall upon your brow and lead you to surety. Unless you are trying to sleep, then turn the durned light off and sleep, silly!
.
I slept well last night and slept again a bit of today. I had nothing planned and nothing came up, so I was able to luxuriate within the confines of the cave. I did note that my neighbor was out and about, on the porch anyway, today and went out to speak with him. A little company is good. And he has little bits of information about this and that. From engines he has worked on to the air craft carrier he was aboard off the coast of Vietnam in the early 60's, he can keep a conversation going. If I am more in the mood to listen, I do. Sometimes I ask questions. And sometimes I redirect the conversation if something else crosses my mind. So it was, an easy restful day.
Since I have not yet taken my clothes in for dry cleaning I suspect I will not be going to church tomorrow. I am, however, getting closer to that goal. Bit by bit, one objection, difficulty, or worry is being tended. I am not sure I will ever be in shape for full and regular attendance. However, if I can get school going again, and begin to get scheduling, regularity, and daytime living down to some sort of art, it may make this easier. It is a goal. I have not made it to midday masses either, yet. Those would help, as they are at various times and throughout the week, usually later in the day, the earliest of them are held at noon.
As my reaction to the medicine is improving, perhaps other things, such as this, will improve as well. Tylenol, as I have said, has become an occasional need rather than a mandatory need. My strength is still decreased by half. But my sleeping has become a bit more regulated. The fevers and muscle and joint pains are rare things. I have even started to be able to live without the air conditioning a good deal of the time. I am nearly back, other than actual strength, to where I was after I had acclimated a bit. It is looking good, more promising than ever before. I hope the medicine has done some good.
I told you I had bought vegetables, frozen, and that I had microwave dishes which would easily cook the stuff. I bought four or five types, and several bags of several of those. I finally, tonight, introduced them into my meal. Along with lamb chops (shoulder cuts, the others are tre pricey), I cooked broccoli. I did, of course, add butter once that was cooked. But I finally got to that part of my meal prep. Hmm, it did not kill me after all. And, really, it was rather tasty. I am on my way with that, now, too.
I have a busy week ahead. I have to get on advertising this apartment. I also need to get my drivers license and tags transferred to Utah. I will be calling a gun smith about my rifle Monday, as well. Oh, and taking some things to storage. Okay, perhaps not a terribly busy week. But these things are rather important. Oh, I believe I can find out about voter registration requirements when I go to the DMV. I will not register Republican, probably, I am still more than a bit put out with the "leadership" in the party. I may not be able to register, technically, right now. But being that the next election will not be until after I have become a resident, they may simply sign me up now. The intricacies of law, however, may preclude that.
Not too much else in the works. Though, of course, even with the one rifle in the shop, I will probably get out and shoot with one or two or three or four or five or six... hmm, I am getting a nice little collection, of the other firearms at my disposal. Or, I could probably buy a couple of 50 packs for one of my neighbor's guns. He would happily let me shoot them just for the brass. He lets me shoot them anyway. And, I would happily share some of the store bought rounds for him to try out. He is easy to please. When the new steak house opens, I plan to try it out. I will have to buy his meal, if he will allow it, as thanks for helping me to walk and get out.
Oh, perhaps I could start checking into the swim times and costs, now that I am becoming healthy and able again. It is only a few blocks away, currently. Depending on monthly, quarterly, or yearly prices, it could be a very good way for me to slim and strengthen. I have needs which will bring me in very close proximity to the building which houses the office within which one might procure a swimming pass. And with my preferred penchant of not wasting time on one or two tasks when three or more tasks may be completed for nearly the same energy and time, it behooves me to investigate.
Well, I hope your day was good? Perhaps I will write later. Perhaps this is good night. May light and peace fall upon your brow and lead you to surety. Unless you are trying to sleep, then turn the durned light off and sleep, silly!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)