.
.
Whatever is wrong it is pretty harsh. The fever from some time back, and flu-like symptoms, are back. A mild headache, some skeletal-muscle aches and pains, stomach upset. No nasal block or drip. Tired. Whatever it is, it is taxing my system. Medicines have been going in lock clockwork, and seem to be working. This isn't them, it isn't from strain, it isn't from too much rest, but it is ticking my days and nights over. I was able to go to bed at 20:00, but couldn't stay asleep. Actually I didn't have a choice. I had to sleep, and did for a few hours. I am heading back to bed at 2:00, which is earlier than I have been able to sleep for days now.
Never mind. It will pass, as it did before. However, I suspect illness is being spread. Those who are strong enough will survive. Those who aren't will die. And that won't always be who one might easily suspect. The invasion that has hit America brings with it new viruses, new strains, strains partially bolstered by poor medical care and ignorant and poor people for whom a doctors orders mean little. When self-preservation becomes extremely limited, down to just getting food, long term self-preservation, such as taking a full compliment of antibiotics, becomes meaningless. Another reason to not support functionaries, such as those who serve in doctors without borders. There good deeds sound more like personal satisfactions, and beliefs in feeling good about themselves, than of doing good, or wise, things. I do have questions. They don't have good answers. The secular never do. It's about them. And, really, we are all worthless, in the grand schemes, unless that is all we have. If there is nothing greater, then those who are worthless will create disaster, chaos, and spread disease so as to feel good about nothingness. I think this will only be getting worse until, or unless, the decision to repatriate, without doubts, reservations, qualifications, or anything else, is made and acted upon. Even then, there will be many losses.
For now I will suffer through. As weak as my system is, it is yet too strong to succumb. Probably. My friends were all ill as well. None of us travel much, staying home more than not. I wonder how many others, mostly young and old, who are going to have trouble. Time will tell. As our medical field is turning into a bureaucracy, I doubt if it cares. The more who die, if more expensive in the short run, the cheaper in the long run. Attacked, in every way, from every side, by one's own government, medical, academic, political, security, intelligence, and perhaps in time military. They think you deserve it. They need you to deserve it. It'll prove them right. And, as you already know, if you have debated the left, they are always right. And the ends justify the means. Now you will get a chance to understand that much more fully.
Good night.
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
A rather rough day.
.
.
I was correct. Whatever is wrong had nothing to do with the alcohol. It started before the drinking and is running through to well past recovery. These things will come and go. God knows it is miraculous for me to even be alive, toss in living on my own, and some other things, and... Suffering is not a choice. I can't fix that. I can only turn that over to a higher authority. It is pretty much all I have to offer. On the good side, I have it in spades.
I am prepping for their arrival. Nothing much, but the meat is being tended. Potatoes soon. A shower earlier. That is about as good as it gets. The meat will be more done than what I had hoped, but that's shouldn't be too bad. It will be pleasant to have company. To eat as a group. And to talk, discuss plans other than those of my own, and just enjoy company.
I will probably not do much else this week. Tired, a bit ill, sore, but I can relax a bit. It is the hottest time of summer. And yet storms have been coming and going. All good, I simply must learn to enjoy as I may. Sometimes that means working, sometimes that means resting. At least the I have the series to watch. I am not up to playing the game at the level I need to play it. So... yeah... something to watch is good enough, for now. A bit of AC when needed or wanted. A bit of food as I can.
Later.
.
I was correct. Whatever is wrong had nothing to do with the alcohol. It started before the drinking and is running through to well past recovery. These things will come and go. God knows it is miraculous for me to even be alive, toss in living on my own, and some other things, and... Suffering is not a choice. I can't fix that. I can only turn that over to a higher authority. It is pretty much all I have to offer. On the good side, I have it in spades.
I am prepping for their arrival. Nothing much, but the meat is being tended. Potatoes soon. A shower earlier. That is about as good as it gets. The meat will be more done than what I had hoped, but that's shouldn't be too bad. It will be pleasant to have company. To eat as a group. And to talk, discuss plans other than those of my own, and just enjoy company.
I will probably not do much else this week. Tired, a bit ill, sore, but I can relax a bit. It is the hottest time of summer. And yet storms have been coming and going. All good, I simply must learn to enjoy as I may. Sometimes that means working, sometimes that means resting. At least the I have the series to watch. I am not up to playing the game at the level I need to play it. So... yeah... something to watch is good enough, for now. A bit of AC when needed or wanted. A bit of food as I can.
Later.
Monday, August 4, 2014
Well, yes. Postponed.
.
.
Thankfully they weren't terribly ready for the day. More to do than they felt up to, and too little time, plus some shopping remaining. For me, I just can't get going. The weather is changing and I am still... getting back onto my feet. A couple of, for me, busy weeks, a change in weather, and a bit deeply... or actually just very quickly, into the cup and...
I am just watching shows and trying to figure the world out. No real naval gazing. Recovering from it all. I should be back to life in a few days. Then I'll get back to planning. I still haven't read the post I put up and shut back down. Sometimes those things are best left where they belong. A psychic bowel movement, a dislodging of poisons, bacteria, and viruses of the soul. I may be nothing, but nothing is everything so I won't lay claim to that. I can't humble myself to that of a servant, no Father wishes that. Nor can I lay claim to my inheritance, and I'm not sure there is one, for me. So, I just do. Not quite a ranch hand, not the owner, not a king, not a serf, not even nobility or a knight, even if some of those things may once have had some truth, as men see things. I only know the direction, and reason for going in that direction. Thankfully, I know I do not have to move an inch to get there. There, is here, even if it is beyond the rim of reality as well. Magic, and yet simple physics. The next time you are there, with someone who is far away, because of a phone, you will understand.
Anyway... I'll figure out how long to roast the beef through the evening, and set the grill up for a long roast. I will wash the potatoes and have them ready to go in at 16:30 or so. And then I will watch some more shows, take a shower, try to hit it a bit earlier tonight, and set the alarm for as reasonable a rise, tomorrow so as to have the meat cooked and all else set. Later.
.
Thankfully they weren't terribly ready for the day. More to do than they felt up to, and too little time, plus some shopping remaining. For me, I just can't get going. The weather is changing and I am still... getting back onto my feet. A couple of, for me, busy weeks, a change in weather, and a bit deeply... or actually just very quickly, into the cup and...
I am just watching shows and trying to figure the world out. No real naval gazing. Recovering from it all. I should be back to life in a few days. Then I'll get back to planning. I still haven't read the post I put up and shut back down. Sometimes those things are best left where they belong. A psychic bowel movement, a dislodging of poisons, bacteria, and viruses of the soul. I may be nothing, but nothing is everything so I won't lay claim to that. I can't humble myself to that of a servant, no Father wishes that. Nor can I lay claim to my inheritance, and I'm not sure there is one, for me. So, I just do. Not quite a ranch hand, not the owner, not a king, not a serf, not even nobility or a knight, even if some of those things may once have had some truth, as men see things. I only know the direction, and reason for going in that direction. Thankfully, I know I do not have to move an inch to get there. There, is here, even if it is beyond the rim of reality as well. Magic, and yet simple physics. The next time you are there, with someone who is far away, because of a phone, you will understand.
Anyway... I'll figure out how long to roast the beef through the evening, and set the grill up for a long roast. I will wash the potatoes and have them ready to go in at 16:30 or so. And then I will watch some more shows, take a shower, try to hit it a bit earlier tonight, and set the alarm for as reasonable a rise, tomorrow so as to have the meat cooked and all else set. Later.
A call.
.
.
It's always good to speak with family, parents more so. The older I get, the more important that becomes. It takes time to figure some things out, to mature, to understand. Mothers are female, thus alien. No matter how many I have known, or how well I understand some things, how, why, and what they think, and more importantly for them feel, can never quite be a known quantity. I sort of suspect that women more resonate than use logic. I will admit, men aren't perfectly capable of logic ourselves. It's just that we strive for that. That doesn't even mean, when we do use logic, and well, that we are always any more correct. Much as trying to use science to decipher the bible, there are some things that cannot... be derived through math, logic, science. That doesn't mean they are right, always, either. They seem to have a very different priority and social system. Never mind, there remains enough crossover, mutual allowance once maturity has hit, and such, that communication is worth it.
We were discussing pain and exhaustion. She bottled 36 quarts of corn yesterday, or froze? Something. She is sore and hurting today. Her ailments are different, but age has put us closer to a similar place in life. Actually, she is still in better shape. But then my body really is still almost dead. However, she, as I, in health and youth, were both hard workers, in our own ways. Now, when either of us works, we pay. And yet neither of us is quite ready to give anything up. I did suggest, however, that while work does bring pain and exhaustion, it is better than just going through that without gaining. Something we both do as well, and anyway. I told her that I am doing much this summer, all things considered. And, at times, I am paying the price. I am glad she is still able to work, and that I am coming back to it, in fits and starts. I talked her ear off for as long as she could stay awake. To bed, early.
Tomorrow? I don't know, other than contacting the gents about what time they wish to eat dinner. Then I need to figure out the grill, get it set up and going, and have the meat and potatoes ready for their arrival. Slow, low, and turning often should work well enough, putting the potatoes in for the last hour and an half, perhaps. It's good to have folks over for a meal once in a while. I just wish I could keep the cave in better shape so as to do that even more often. Friends, neighbors, acquaintances, and anyone who might stop by for dinners would be nice. Perhaps, as the summer goes on, I might be able to get the place into better shape. If I continue to improve, perhaps I can keep on top of things.
Good night.
.
It's always good to speak with family, parents more so. The older I get, the more important that becomes. It takes time to figure some things out, to mature, to understand. Mothers are female, thus alien. No matter how many I have known, or how well I understand some things, how, why, and what they think, and more importantly for them feel, can never quite be a known quantity. I sort of suspect that women more resonate than use logic. I will admit, men aren't perfectly capable of logic ourselves. It's just that we strive for that. That doesn't even mean, when we do use logic, and well, that we are always any more correct. Much as trying to use science to decipher the bible, there are some things that cannot... be derived through math, logic, science. That doesn't mean they are right, always, either. They seem to have a very different priority and social system. Never mind, there remains enough crossover, mutual allowance once maturity has hit, and such, that communication is worth it.
We were discussing pain and exhaustion. She bottled 36 quarts of corn yesterday, or froze? Something. She is sore and hurting today. Her ailments are different, but age has put us closer to a similar place in life. Actually, she is still in better shape. But then my body really is still almost dead. However, she, as I, in health and youth, were both hard workers, in our own ways. Now, when either of us works, we pay. And yet neither of us is quite ready to give anything up. I did suggest, however, that while work does bring pain and exhaustion, it is better than just going through that without gaining. Something we both do as well, and anyway. I told her that I am doing much this summer, all things considered. And, at times, I am paying the price. I am glad she is still able to work, and that I am coming back to it, in fits and starts. I talked her ear off for as long as she could stay awake. To bed, early.
Tomorrow? I don't know, other than contacting the gents about what time they wish to eat dinner. Then I need to figure out the grill, get it set up and going, and have the meat and potatoes ready for their arrival. Slow, low, and turning often should work well enough, putting the potatoes in for the last hour and an half, perhaps. It's good to have folks over for a meal once in a while. I just wish I could keep the cave in better shape so as to do that even more often. Friends, neighbors, acquaintances, and anyone who might stop by for dinners would be nice. Perhaps, as the summer goes on, I might be able to get the place into better shape. If I continue to improve, perhaps I can keep on top of things.
Good night.
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Last night got a little... tight.
.
.
Too tired to sleep, I thought a short one would help. I started with one, but it went fast and off the grid in a hurry. Even on most nights, where I decide to have a sip, even when I head in fast, I can't remember ever going in that hard or fast, save for the one time I thought Everclear would be an easy, cheap, and tolerable method. Just vodka, last night, and not, actually, that much of it. It must have been the speed of consumption, or perhaps medicine or general health were affecting it. I do remember, just not clearly or well.
I posted something, but have no idea what it was. I... often don't read such posts, just pull them. They aren't tied to reality, and can be a bit harsh. I mix of the insane, fantasy, and reality, in portions that can only make sense while not in one's right way of thinking. I just hope I didn't post comments anywhere. Those can be just as bad, or worse.
Yeah, I know. And it is rare. I do have a drink once in a while, sometimes two. And, mostly, usually, that is enough. Sometimes, though, it's as if my body finds some need with the stuff. Sometimes I realize it, and go with it. Last night... I simply did not see that coming. I slept with a bucket by the bed, just in case. Morning was rough, but I pushed myself to wake and deal with the morning. Or... early afternoon. As soon as I was aware, I was awake. Rough, but I have recovered. At least I don't drive when drinking. I never got into fights when drinking, either. I never even got into arguments with past girlfriends. When I drink, it is relatively a friendly thing. The only thing I would change is figuring out how to turn the internet off. Gah!
I didn't get to town, but I did find a beef roast that will do every bit as well as brisket, and then some. I do have soda, and coffee. Beer just isn't sounding so good, and won't for a while. They are bringing salads and any libations they might enjoy. So... it's all good, if not what I had planned and hoped. I still need rest, anyway, so I am not terribly upset with the weekend. I'll be hitting it again when I can. I might even make a trip to town Tuesday, to manage business and do the shopping. I will replace the roast, and add a few extra as well. And replace the pork roast I recently cooked. I am truly enjoying that grill. And the right foods, cooked once or twice a week, really hold me over. If I could just keep up on even that.
A storm seems to be coming in. It seems cooler. I am enjoying that, if I hope tomorrow isn't rained out. I doubt it, and besides, rain here, this time of year, is a short thing, and usually light. Later.
.
Too tired to sleep, I thought a short one would help. I started with one, but it went fast and off the grid in a hurry. Even on most nights, where I decide to have a sip, even when I head in fast, I can't remember ever going in that hard or fast, save for the one time I thought Everclear would be an easy, cheap, and tolerable method. Just vodka, last night, and not, actually, that much of it. It must have been the speed of consumption, or perhaps medicine or general health were affecting it. I do remember, just not clearly or well.
I posted something, but have no idea what it was. I... often don't read such posts, just pull them. They aren't tied to reality, and can be a bit harsh. I mix of the insane, fantasy, and reality, in portions that can only make sense while not in one's right way of thinking. I just hope I didn't post comments anywhere. Those can be just as bad, or worse.
Yeah, I know. And it is rare. I do have a drink once in a while, sometimes two. And, mostly, usually, that is enough. Sometimes, though, it's as if my body finds some need with the stuff. Sometimes I realize it, and go with it. Last night... I simply did not see that coming. I slept with a bucket by the bed, just in case. Morning was rough, but I pushed myself to wake and deal with the morning. Or... early afternoon. As soon as I was aware, I was awake. Rough, but I have recovered. At least I don't drive when drinking. I never got into fights when drinking, either. I never even got into arguments with past girlfriends. When I drink, it is relatively a friendly thing. The only thing I would change is figuring out how to turn the internet off. Gah!
I didn't get to town, but I did find a beef roast that will do every bit as well as brisket, and then some. I do have soda, and coffee. Beer just isn't sounding so good, and won't for a while. They are bringing salads and any libations they might enjoy. So... it's all good, if not what I had planned and hoped. I still need rest, anyway, so I am not terribly upset with the weekend. I'll be hitting it again when I can. I might even make a trip to town Tuesday, to manage business and do the shopping. I will replace the roast, and add a few extra as well. And replace the pork roast I recently cooked. I am truly enjoying that grill. And the right foods, cooked once or twice a week, really hold me over. If I could just keep up on even that.
A storm seems to be coming in. It seems cooler. I am enjoying that, if I hope tomorrow isn't rained out. I doubt it, and besides, rain here, this time of year, is a short thing, and usually light. Later.
Saturday, August 2, 2014
Plans without fruit.
.
.
I suspected I wouldn't get to much, if anything, today. I still made plans, and tried to corner that angle, making plans and having hopes. Simply put, I couldn't, and still can't, do a thing. I have been watching shows. Too tired to even game. I'm running at the most difficult level of the game. I don't have the energy to push through on that. I did make something to eat. I cooked rice, then fried tuna, and mixed the lot. It's humble food, but good enough. I am too tired to even be hungry but pushed through on that. At least I have been able to keep my dailies in check, and put some food in my mouth. Sometimes that is as good as it gets.
I still plan to try to make it to town tomorrow. If not, then Monday early. I need to get a brisket and some beer, and might as well pick up a few other things while I am in town. I miss cream for my coffee when I am out. Milk can act as a meal, all by itself, when all else fails. And there are a few other odds and ends that make life just a bit easier. Being a cripple is humbling. Worse when it comes and goes. A pain all it's own, one few, thankfully, will know. And yet it offers a grace few can know. If you can survive not having legs to stand on. Not a problem hereabouts, regardless of choice, always.
Never mind. Since I couldn't get to anything, other than a small humble meal, I did go ahead and enjoy some time off. Just ramping up for the next leap into whatever else I can get into this coming week. I hope it pleases God, that I haven't, and won't, quit. I hope my small efforts please some part of Him deeply, personally. It's as much as I can offer, in thanks, gratitude, and to His honor. To use what life I have, as I may, and as rightly and fully as possible. Even with such a heavy blemish... a blemish He knows means nothing, in the final assessment. I know it, but living with it... difficult to separate things at times.
Good day.
.
I suspected I wouldn't get to much, if anything, today. I still made plans, and tried to corner that angle, making plans and having hopes. Simply put, I couldn't, and still can't, do a thing. I have been watching shows. Too tired to even game. I'm running at the most difficult level of the game. I don't have the energy to push through on that. I did make something to eat. I cooked rice, then fried tuna, and mixed the lot. It's humble food, but good enough. I am too tired to even be hungry but pushed through on that. At least I have been able to keep my dailies in check, and put some food in my mouth. Sometimes that is as good as it gets.
I still plan to try to make it to town tomorrow. If not, then Monday early. I need to get a brisket and some beer, and might as well pick up a few other things while I am in town. I miss cream for my coffee when I am out. Milk can act as a meal, all by itself, when all else fails. And there are a few other odds and ends that make life just a bit easier. Being a cripple is humbling. Worse when it comes and goes. A pain all it's own, one few, thankfully, will know. And yet it offers a grace few can know. If you can survive not having legs to stand on. Not a problem hereabouts, regardless of choice, always.
Never mind. Since I couldn't get to anything, other than a small humble meal, I did go ahead and enjoy some time off. Just ramping up for the next leap into whatever else I can get into this coming week. I hope it pleases God, that I haven't, and won't, quit. I hope my small efforts please some part of Him deeply, personally. It's as much as I can offer, in thanks, gratitude, and to His honor. To use what life I have, as I may, and as rightly and fully as possible. Even with such a heavy blemish... a blemish He knows means nothing, in the final assessment. I know it, but living with it... difficult to separate things at times.
Good day.
Odd dream, late start, hard sleep, plans.
.
.
I didn't get to bed until late, partly due to having to mess with the hoses and timers, part of it due to not being able to sleep. Sometimes I can get to sleep, potentially, earlier than I do. But if something drags me beyond that earlier potential, then I can't sleep until another opportunity is available. Last night for sure, and maybe yesterday night. I'll try to sleep a lot earlier, if I can. On the good side, my windows of opportunity for sleep recycle much more quickly. At least I haven't been dragged to 3:00, 4:00, or 5:00, just 1:00 last night, 2:00 the night before.
Sleep was hard. Have you ever worked a day in your life where you know, without any reservations, exactly what work is? I don't mean the ones that almost kill you, but the ones that use you up pretty good, and you feel like you earned your pay but still can feel good about it? That is how I feel coming out of sleep. I even have some aches and pains, though of a mechanical, physical, sort. Perhaps the little bit of work I have been doing has been slightly more physical than I thought? I hope so. If not, I just live in an older body than what I thought. Just a bit rough this morning, but physical pains of this sort are a pleasure. They at least make me think I have done some work. The only way to build up, or even try to stay somewhat fit, is to break the body down a bit from time to time.
I was speaking to someone in my dreams. They were asking about my blog, and some of the things I write. They wanted to know if I really thought I was special. Initially I took their meaning as mundane, trivial, nominal. I said, of course! God loves us very much. If He offers the grandeur of hue to the flower, feeds even birds, as He has suggested, how much more us? And, as children believe in their parents, I believe in my heavenly Father. Without reservation, doubt, or blemish, I believe. Well, that wasn't quite it. I was asked if I believe that I am more than just the typical person, or sheep of the flock, or trans-, sub-, super-human even, perhaps. Maybe even the manifestation of War, one of the horsemen, or a sort of prophet.
Ah, that. And what I said in the dream is how I really feel about things. There is some wonder. No doubts about that. Simply the number of times I should have, and actually have, died? It is unreasonable not to be left with wonder. I have died very hard. I should have died harder. That on top of living in a body that has no right to still be living, all on it's own. I do see things. I have visions. Right, true, possibilities? Some of the things have come to pass, some may be coming true as we speak, and I am pretty sure some things I have seen have no option but to happen. If I think those things are more for me than for you, or everybody. I simply don't know. I doubt that I am truly special, I have no way of deciding if I am anything but human. Any method possible would be beyond my ability and any who might see the patterns, if such exist, would not tell me the truth... for one reason or another.
I write. Stories, experiences, notions, visions, and dreams. I combine them in a fashion that seems to square enough of the circle, as properly as possible to what conclusions may be gleaned, leaving off some things I don't think should be shared. I write, sometimes, with the surety of intent, so as to flesh some thoughts and possibilities out. I do use filler, to cover gaps of knowledge, certainty, possibility. I didn't tease about wanting the Eucharist to... test some things. I feared taking it, but had faith in it too. I am... agnostic about being anything other than an ill, middle aged, slightly curious, sort of man. But, and more importantly, I explained that, even should I be something like War, or a nephilim, or have some other bit to play? That makes me no more important than anyone else. Christ, the most important human, if a trans-human through divine nature, also merely submitted to His part. How could I ever be more? Having a part, and in a sense we all do, is not special. Doesn't make us special. It is just an opportunity that varies slightly from the roll we are all asked to play, that of a saint. That is, pretty much, how the dream went. A confused look on his face, probably mirrored by my own expression. It's all I've got to offer.
Today? Ah, urhm... To the store, hopefully. Then work on the benchtop. No other plans. And I will try to keep it light, beyond that. I am tired. I am sore. But I am, with those givens, in good shape. I would like to keep it that way. Today and tomorrow need to be very light. And I need to keep as cool as possible. I am right on the edge of having pushed far too hard, even as little as I have done. As I said, my ability, capacity, is a moving target. It seems to be fairly low on the horizon, meaning I only get a few shots. I've used those and then some. Rest, with just a few chores thrown in. Later.
.
I didn't get to bed until late, partly due to having to mess with the hoses and timers, part of it due to not being able to sleep. Sometimes I can get to sleep, potentially, earlier than I do. But if something drags me beyond that earlier potential, then I can't sleep until another opportunity is available. Last night for sure, and maybe yesterday night. I'll try to sleep a lot earlier, if I can. On the good side, my windows of opportunity for sleep recycle much more quickly. At least I haven't been dragged to 3:00, 4:00, or 5:00, just 1:00 last night, 2:00 the night before.
Sleep was hard. Have you ever worked a day in your life where you know, without any reservations, exactly what work is? I don't mean the ones that almost kill you, but the ones that use you up pretty good, and you feel like you earned your pay but still can feel good about it? That is how I feel coming out of sleep. I even have some aches and pains, though of a mechanical, physical, sort. Perhaps the little bit of work I have been doing has been slightly more physical than I thought? I hope so. If not, I just live in an older body than what I thought. Just a bit rough this morning, but physical pains of this sort are a pleasure. They at least make me think I have done some work. The only way to build up, or even try to stay somewhat fit, is to break the body down a bit from time to time.
I was speaking to someone in my dreams. They were asking about my blog, and some of the things I write. They wanted to know if I really thought I was special. Initially I took their meaning as mundane, trivial, nominal. I said, of course! God loves us very much. If He offers the grandeur of hue to the flower, feeds even birds, as He has suggested, how much more us? And, as children believe in their parents, I believe in my heavenly Father. Without reservation, doubt, or blemish, I believe. Well, that wasn't quite it. I was asked if I believe that I am more than just the typical person, or sheep of the flock, or trans-, sub-, super-human even, perhaps. Maybe even the manifestation of War, one of the horsemen, or a sort of prophet.
Ah, that. And what I said in the dream is how I really feel about things. There is some wonder. No doubts about that. Simply the number of times I should have, and actually have, died? It is unreasonable not to be left with wonder. I have died very hard. I should have died harder. That on top of living in a body that has no right to still be living, all on it's own. I do see things. I have visions. Right, true, possibilities? Some of the things have come to pass, some may be coming true as we speak, and I am pretty sure some things I have seen have no option but to happen. If I think those things are more for me than for you, or everybody. I simply don't know. I doubt that I am truly special, I have no way of deciding if I am anything but human. Any method possible would be beyond my ability and any who might see the patterns, if such exist, would not tell me the truth... for one reason or another.
I write. Stories, experiences, notions, visions, and dreams. I combine them in a fashion that seems to square enough of the circle, as properly as possible to what conclusions may be gleaned, leaving off some things I don't think should be shared. I write, sometimes, with the surety of intent, so as to flesh some thoughts and possibilities out. I do use filler, to cover gaps of knowledge, certainty, possibility. I didn't tease about wanting the Eucharist to... test some things. I feared taking it, but had faith in it too. I am... agnostic about being anything other than an ill, middle aged, slightly curious, sort of man. But, and more importantly, I explained that, even should I be something like War, or a nephilim, or have some other bit to play? That makes me no more important than anyone else. Christ, the most important human, if a trans-human through divine nature, also merely submitted to His part. How could I ever be more? Having a part, and in a sense we all do, is not special. Doesn't make us special. It is just an opportunity that varies slightly from the roll we are all asked to play, that of a saint. That is, pretty much, how the dream went. A confused look on his face, probably mirrored by my own expression. It's all I've got to offer.
Today? Ah, urhm... To the store, hopefully. Then work on the benchtop. No other plans. And I will try to keep it light, beyond that. I am tired. I am sore. But I am, with those givens, in good shape. I would like to keep it that way. Today and tomorrow need to be very light. And I need to keep as cool as possible. I am right on the edge of having pushed far too hard, even as little as I have done. As I said, my ability, capacity, is a moving target. It seems to be fairly low on the horizon, meaning I only get a few shots. I've used those and then some. Rest, with just a few chores thrown in. Later.
Friday, August 1, 2014
Some of it.
.
.
The timer, or one part of it, isn't working. I have been tinkering with the thing all day, it seems like. Back it goes. I will try one more system. If that doesn't work I will simply do it by hand. The problem with that isn't the work, the effort, it is remembering. Well, mostly. Sometimes I can't do much, but even then, that isn't the work involved.
I have been watching the beginnings of Babylon 5. I found an order to watch that is supposed to make sense, with enough positive feedback that I trust it. Not much else today. While it is less than I had planned, it is more than, after hitting the day, I thought I would get done. I am so tired. I suppose the heat has returned, as well. A few cool days then back to summer. From what I can tell, it isn't heat, or cool, that will get me. It's a quick change in weather that will take me down, as well as either extreme. It just changed and is hitting, if more regular summer, extremes of heat. AC helps, but just only so much. Central air would be nice. And, yes, it is on the list. A bit for prep, a bit for this, a bit for that, lists out my ears, but only just so many dollars to go around.
I have to stay awake another hour. After, finally, giving up on getting the timer to work, I just turned on the front and back yard hoses by hand and will have to turn them off by hand. At least the garden timer works. Another episode of Babylon 5, maybe some popcorn, and then to bed. Good night.
.
The timer, or one part of it, isn't working. I have been tinkering with the thing all day, it seems like. Back it goes. I will try one more system. If that doesn't work I will simply do it by hand. The problem with that isn't the work, the effort, it is remembering. Well, mostly. Sometimes I can't do much, but even then, that isn't the work involved.
I have been watching the beginnings of Babylon 5. I found an order to watch that is supposed to make sense, with enough positive feedback that I trust it. Not much else today. While it is less than I had planned, it is more than, after hitting the day, I thought I would get done. I am so tired. I suppose the heat has returned, as well. A few cool days then back to summer. From what I can tell, it isn't heat, or cool, that will get me. It's a quick change in weather that will take me down, as well as either extreme. It just changed and is hitting, if more regular summer, extremes of heat. AC helps, but just only so much. Central air would be nice. And, yes, it is on the list. A bit for prep, a bit for this, a bit for that, lists out my ears, but only just so many dollars to go around.
I have to stay awake another hour. After, finally, giving up on getting the timer to work, I just turned on the front and back yard hoses by hand and will have to turn them off by hand. At least the garden timer works. Another episode of Babylon 5, maybe some popcorn, and then to bed. Good night.
I don't want to go!
.
.
Tired. Really tired. I've sort of been pushing. It's not the big things. Little things, lots of them. Projects almost every day, several to many. Some aren't noted here. Some were never planned, they just happen as I see them or the thought occurs. I'm getting ahead of my feet and heading for a stumble. And yet I need to go to town, for several reasons. Reasons I can't really negotiate. I suppose I can, actually. Perhaps put off shopping until tomorrow and deal with taxes later in the week. And I may. Not sure, may not have a choice.
I put the timer contraption together, set it and all. It takes AA, oddly, and I keep those in stock. It was simple enough, now to see if it will work. After that, sanding. And maybe a bit of other tinkering out there to get my workbench and some other things arranged. After I get those, and a shower, I will consider the trip to town. It's just not looking likely. On the good side, I already have my inspection out of the way. And I remember where I put the paperwork, if... it is where I remember. Bleh.
Life is sort of a trap. If you can't do much, then you are stuck with what you have, and as you are. If you can do, then you must do. The world and your stomach demand it. A wife and children simply add to the demand. Our very natures claim a chunk of our want for survival, and more. I suppose there are some who want to simply receive, and do nothing. And everybody looks at the various ways to the ends and considers which hard paths and which easy paths to attempt. We can't fight all hard battles all the time. The option isn't so much an option as an end. A trap within a trap.
Oh, no complaints. Just noticing, again, and evaluating it all as I sit here, sitting here. Stewing about being stuck. Stuck whichever way I go, whether by choice or not. Not sure which is the way of being more stuck, having a choice or not. Never mind. I'll at least get a couple of chores done today. Then take the weekend off, save for a shopping trip. And I will work at getting to sleep a bit earlier. That might be the full part of my problem, and some of it was my fault. Later.
.
Tired. Really tired. I've sort of been pushing. It's not the big things. Little things, lots of them. Projects almost every day, several to many. Some aren't noted here. Some were never planned, they just happen as I see them or the thought occurs. I'm getting ahead of my feet and heading for a stumble. And yet I need to go to town, for several reasons. Reasons I can't really negotiate. I suppose I can, actually. Perhaps put off shopping until tomorrow and deal with taxes later in the week. And I may. Not sure, may not have a choice.
I put the timer contraption together, set it and all. It takes AA, oddly, and I keep those in stock. It was simple enough, now to see if it will work. After that, sanding. And maybe a bit of other tinkering out there to get my workbench and some other things arranged. After I get those, and a shower, I will consider the trip to town. It's just not looking likely. On the good side, I already have my inspection out of the way. And I remember where I put the paperwork, if... it is where I remember. Bleh.
Life is sort of a trap. If you can't do much, then you are stuck with what you have, and as you are. If you can do, then you must do. The world and your stomach demand it. A wife and children simply add to the demand. Our very natures claim a chunk of our want for survival, and more. I suppose there are some who want to simply receive, and do nothing. And everybody looks at the various ways to the ends and considers which hard paths and which easy paths to attempt. We can't fight all hard battles all the time. The option isn't so much an option as an end. A trap within a trap.
Oh, no complaints. Just noticing, again, and evaluating it all as I sit here, sitting here. Stewing about being stuck. Stuck whichever way I go, whether by choice or not. Not sure which is the way of being more stuck, having a choice or not. Never mind. I'll at least get a couple of chores done today. Then take the weekend off, save for a shopping trip. And I will work at getting to sleep a bit earlier. That might be the full part of my problem, and some of it was my fault. Later.
Probably pushing things.
.
.
I couldn't sleep until late last night. Actually into early morning. I set the alarm for a seven hour sleep, trying to keep things in check, and did wake, mostly, on time. But it's a rough morning. I want to get sanding done shortly, and set up the timer for the lawn. I may need a battery for it though. No real problem. If I get it set up, mechanically, I can get a battery while in town. Sometimes they are in the package, sometimes not. Haven't looked yet.
I remember one dream from last night. Someone was suggesting that something was simply a right. I told them that it was not a right. I suggested that it might be a freedom. I was asked what the difference was. I told them that a right is something allowed without question or consequence. Breathing, assuming life, is a right. Life itself is not exactly a right, save in a philosophical sense. If faith is had, life isn't a right it is a gift, granted each moment. But breathing, while that gift is in play, is a given. That is a right. A freedom requires due diligence. You may have a freedom to do something, but you have the responsibilities that go along with it. If you wish to hike, you should be aware of wildlife, weather, and your fitness level. If you wish to do almost anything, you need to be responsible for yourself in that regard. A right, today, confers the notion that you can just do whatever you want. That isn't how it works. Death cannot be undone, living with the death of another, caused by your actions, even less so. And life is life or death. We, in our luxury, have simply forgotten that. The learning curve in this regard is going to be very steep when we get to that point. It is coming.
Oh, today? Sanding, setting up the lawn timer, checking the plants, then showering and grooming for a trip to town. Property and vehicle taxes, drivers license, and a trip to the store. Brisket, beer, bread, perhaps some other meats, a bit of cream, and maybe a few other things. I'll check the various larders before heading to town. If I have anything extra to offer, I might try to mix the stain. I suspect that will be something for tomorrow though. And I would sorely like to fiddle with the faucet, with the part that had been set aside but might make it work. We'll see.
Later.
.
I couldn't sleep until late last night. Actually into early morning. I set the alarm for a seven hour sleep, trying to keep things in check, and did wake, mostly, on time. But it's a rough morning. I want to get sanding done shortly, and set up the timer for the lawn. I may need a battery for it though. No real problem. If I get it set up, mechanically, I can get a battery while in town. Sometimes they are in the package, sometimes not. Haven't looked yet.
I remember one dream from last night. Someone was suggesting that something was simply a right. I told them that it was not a right. I suggested that it might be a freedom. I was asked what the difference was. I told them that a right is something allowed without question or consequence. Breathing, assuming life, is a right. Life itself is not exactly a right, save in a philosophical sense. If faith is had, life isn't a right it is a gift, granted each moment. But breathing, while that gift is in play, is a given. That is a right. A freedom requires due diligence. You may have a freedom to do something, but you have the responsibilities that go along with it. If you wish to hike, you should be aware of wildlife, weather, and your fitness level. If you wish to do almost anything, you need to be responsible for yourself in that regard. A right, today, confers the notion that you can just do whatever you want. That isn't how it works. Death cannot be undone, living with the death of another, caused by your actions, even less so. And life is life or death. We, in our luxury, have simply forgotten that. The learning curve in this regard is going to be very steep when we get to that point. It is coming.
Oh, today? Sanding, setting up the lawn timer, checking the plants, then showering and grooming for a trip to town. Property and vehicle taxes, drivers license, and a trip to the store. Brisket, beer, bread, perhaps some other meats, a bit of cream, and maybe a few other things. I'll check the various larders before heading to town. If I have anything extra to offer, I might try to mix the stain. I suspect that will be something for tomorrow though. And I would sorely like to fiddle with the faucet, with the part that had been set aside but might make it work. We'll see.
Later.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Did what I could.
.
.
The dishes and laundry were finished. The sander was found, checked, and the cord found... all of it ready to go. But that was it for work. I did make a meal though. I grilled boneless port ribs, and then worked quinoa and cooked that. Alright, when quinoa is done right, it is much better. Two heaving washes, with an half hour soak in the middle. There was no blah soapy taste, it wasn't acidic or whatever. It tasted much as mild grits, where you can't really taste corn. But it isn't as mealy. With the ribs it was truly good. Butter mixed in, a little salt. It's a bit expensive. However, for long term storage, it has all of the goodness of whole grain rice, and more, but will store. Unlike rice or any other similar food. Now I can begin looking for larger batches of that. Oh, did I mention? It is a complete protein, all by itself. But, not being a vegetarian, I wouldn't use it as such unless I had no other choice. Without animal fats, I don't think it would be right. It would simply due in a pinch, for a pinch. One more thing off my list of things to check, and then onto my list to buy.
I will just keep going with the list. Tomorrow I am hoping to be up early enough to sand the workbench, set up the timer and hoses, then do some business in town. Taxes, drivers license, maybe a touch of shopping. Just need to get it out of the way. But that will be about it for the week. I am going to need to back down a bit on the weekend. But I don't just want to sit. Perhaps I can work on the sink, since that will be a mild project, at least to try to set it up and see if it works. As well, I might get the stain 'cooked' and begin applying it. And, perhaps, through the weekend, I might find time to sweep wherever could use it, and maybe mop at least the bathroom. But... that would be it, mostly.
I am doing as well as I can do. Medicine, grooming, home, lawn, garden, prep, and minor improvements and maintenance here and there. Never had it so good, even as mild as it is. Hoping for more. A bit at a time, a little on several to many things each day, prayer at least at night and over each meal... Good night.
.
The dishes and laundry were finished. The sander was found, checked, and the cord found... all of it ready to go. But that was it for work. I did make a meal though. I grilled boneless port ribs, and then worked quinoa and cooked that. Alright, when quinoa is done right, it is much better. Two heaving washes, with an half hour soak in the middle. There was no blah soapy taste, it wasn't acidic or whatever. It tasted much as mild grits, where you can't really taste corn. But it isn't as mealy. With the ribs it was truly good. Butter mixed in, a little salt. It's a bit expensive. However, for long term storage, it has all of the goodness of whole grain rice, and more, but will store. Unlike rice or any other similar food. Now I can begin looking for larger batches of that. Oh, did I mention? It is a complete protein, all by itself. But, not being a vegetarian, I wouldn't use it as such unless I had no other choice. Without animal fats, I don't think it would be right. It would simply due in a pinch, for a pinch. One more thing off my list of things to check, and then onto my list to buy.
I will just keep going with the list. Tomorrow I am hoping to be up early enough to sand the workbench, set up the timer and hoses, then do some business in town. Taxes, drivers license, maybe a touch of shopping. Just need to get it out of the way. But that will be about it for the week. I am going to need to back down a bit on the weekend. But I don't just want to sit. Perhaps I can work on the sink, since that will be a mild project, at least to try to set it up and see if it works. As well, I might get the stain 'cooked' and begin applying it. And, perhaps, through the weekend, I might find time to sweep wherever could use it, and maybe mop at least the bathroom. But... that would be it, mostly.
I am doing as well as I can do. Medicine, grooming, home, lawn, garden, prep, and minor improvements and maintenance here and there. Never had it so good, even as mild as it is. Hoping for more. A bit at a time, a little on several to many things each day, prayer at least at night and over each meal... Good night.
Not fast, but sure enough.
.
.
Took a bit to get going, but after the last post, I reset the dishes and put a load into the washer. I also found the sander, checked the sandpaper, and found the longer extension cord. I then went down for a bit, setting the timer, which I somehow didn't hear, for an hour and an half? Something. When I realized time had flown, I got back to it. I transferred the clothes to the drier. There aren't enough other various types for another load so I dried out the washer (front loaders are a bit finicky), set the drier going, then washed and rinsed the dishes. They are sitting in the rinse now. I'll dry them when I go to get the laundry for folding and whatnot. While messing with the clothes, I noticed Sam, most likely, had made a bit of a mess in one of the hampers, so I washed that out.
I should be able to finish dishes and laundry within a couple of hours, then hit the work bench. Perhaps test the sander on the rain porch supports. After that, a break, and then I will install the pressure limiter on the garden irrigation system, and make a stab at setting up the lawn timer and system. Who knows if I will get it all done. If I can give it all a whirl, I will be happy. I might need a heavier sander for the supports, for one thing. And I may run out of the energy needed to tinker before I finish it all. I'll know before long.
Tomorrow? A lighter day. I found something that might make the kitchen faucet work. A fitting that simply got set aside. I would like to try that, and if it works then put my kitchen sink back together. The only other things I would like to do is to create my workbench finish concoction, then apply that. And sweep and mop around the place. Further, if I get that done, then I will take a jab at wet vacuuming in the kitchen area the day after. And start tearing into my bedroom after that. I may need to sleep in the spare bedroom, as the first thing I want to do is empty my bedroom, then spray for bugs, then steam vacuum, let it dry, and put it all back together before hitting the spare bedroom, then the computer, then living, rooms. Bleh. I might actually get it done in a week or two. Lots of breaks, but a steady hand.
Later.
.
Took a bit to get going, but after the last post, I reset the dishes and put a load into the washer. I also found the sander, checked the sandpaper, and found the longer extension cord. I then went down for a bit, setting the timer, which I somehow didn't hear, for an hour and an half? Something. When I realized time had flown, I got back to it. I transferred the clothes to the drier. There aren't enough other various types for another load so I dried out the washer (front loaders are a bit finicky), set the drier going, then washed and rinsed the dishes. They are sitting in the rinse now. I'll dry them when I go to get the laundry for folding and whatnot. While messing with the clothes, I noticed Sam, most likely, had made a bit of a mess in one of the hampers, so I washed that out.
I should be able to finish dishes and laundry within a couple of hours, then hit the work bench. Perhaps test the sander on the rain porch supports. After that, a break, and then I will install the pressure limiter on the garden irrigation system, and make a stab at setting up the lawn timer and system. Who knows if I will get it all done. If I can give it all a whirl, I will be happy. I might need a heavier sander for the supports, for one thing. And I may run out of the energy needed to tinker before I finish it all. I'll know before long.
Tomorrow? A lighter day. I found something that might make the kitchen faucet work. A fitting that simply got set aside. I would like to try that, and if it works then put my kitchen sink back together. The only other things I would like to do is to create my workbench finish concoction, then apply that. And sweep and mop around the place. Further, if I get that done, then I will take a jab at wet vacuuming in the kitchen area the day after. And start tearing into my bedroom after that. I may need to sleep in the spare bedroom, as the first thing I want to do is empty my bedroom, then spray for bugs, then steam vacuum, let it dry, and put it all back together before hitting the spare bedroom, then the computer, then living, rooms. Bleh. I might actually get it done in a week or two. Lots of breaks, but a steady hand.
Later.
Awake and moving.
.
.
Feeling just a bit better today. I don't think I'll be hitting anything too hard but I am hoping to do a few things. Perhaps a load of laundry, a few dishes I have setting to soak if they do need a fresh soak, setting up the timer and hoses, and sanding the workbench. Sounds like a lot, but if I do the things in parcels, they aren't too much. Hmm, and, just maybe, if I get three of those things done, I'll figure out something a bit special for dinner. Spaghetti and meatballs? Maybe. I have the meat thawed for a special sort of meatball, three meat type. I have never made meatballs before, so...
I'm telling you what, I am glad I started brushing regularly. I thought it was a gimmick, but I can plainly see the difference. I ought to add flossing in, really, and will. One thing at a time, folks. I really do have to add things slowly. Just a month or two of twice daily and it really is making a difference. My teeth, oddly, were in excellent shape even before brushing. Why? Don't ask me silly questions. But my gums were a bit rough. Oh, don't try this at home. You aren't me. You go without brushing for decades and you won't have any teeth, more so as a past street fighter, who drank a case of regular soda a week, or more. Yeah, I like the way of it, now, and even get up to brush if I forget before sleep and remember before falling asleep... just like with medicine.
Medicine has been going down like clockwork. And this week I have started taking my stats. Blood pressure is better, 125/92 this morning, pulse has been in the 60's to 70's range, and blood sugar has been dropping, down to 136 this morning from the 160's at the start of the week. I have had a few sodas, regular sodas, in the last few days. And, yes, that seems to help... once in a while just not regularly. Even so, I am rather bushed. Two trips to town already this week, and a pretty heavy week last week, I suppose I might just be falling out from effort. I will be trying to push to the weekend though. A day off yesterday helped, and yet didn't. I think I am just going to be tired most of the rest of my life. I need to find balance, as much as is possible with a moving capacity target. This is not how my nature works. It is contrary to everything I am. And yet it is what I must tend. So... I will.
Oh, I am adding a label for blogging... daily diary. I might, eventually, when I can't do much else, go back in and assign that to old posts. It'll be posts that are mostly just mundane life ramblings. I hate not having a label, or set of them, for posts. Plus they offer an easier way to find old posts along specific themes, or just wander through.
Laundry, setting up the dishes, then getting my sander and extension cord out. A little break to let the dishes soak and then I'll wash those, another break then deal with the laundry, another break and I'll hit the sanding. Sounds like a plan to me, for starters. I'll figure things out after that. Later, and good day.
.
Feeling just a bit better today. I don't think I'll be hitting anything too hard but I am hoping to do a few things. Perhaps a load of laundry, a few dishes I have setting to soak if they do need a fresh soak, setting up the timer and hoses, and sanding the workbench. Sounds like a lot, but if I do the things in parcels, they aren't too much. Hmm, and, just maybe, if I get three of those things done, I'll figure out something a bit special for dinner. Spaghetti and meatballs? Maybe. I have the meat thawed for a special sort of meatball, three meat type. I have never made meatballs before, so...
I'm telling you what, I am glad I started brushing regularly. I thought it was a gimmick, but I can plainly see the difference. I ought to add flossing in, really, and will. One thing at a time, folks. I really do have to add things slowly. Just a month or two of twice daily and it really is making a difference. My teeth, oddly, were in excellent shape even before brushing. Why? Don't ask me silly questions. But my gums were a bit rough. Oh, don't try this at home. You aren't me. You go without brushing for decades and you won't have any teeth, more so as a past street fighter, who drank a case of regular soda a week, or more. Yeah, I like the way of it, now, and even get up to brush if I forget before sleep and remember before falling asleep... just like with medicine.
Medicine has been going down like clockwork. And this week I have started taking my stats. Blood pressure is better, 125/92 this morning, pulse has been in the 60's to 70's range, and blood sugar has been dropping, down to 136 this morning from the 160's at the start of the week. I have had a few sodas, regular sodas, in the last few days. And, yes, that seems to help... once in a while just not regularly. Even so, I am rather bushed. Two trips to town already this week, and a pretty heavy week last week, I suppose I might just be falling out from effort. I will be trying to push to the weekend though. A day off yesterday helped, and yet didn't. I think I am just going to be tired most of the rest of my life. I need to find balance, as much as is possible with a moving capacity target. This is not how my nature works. It is contrary to everything I am. And yet it is what I must tend. So... I will.
Oh, I am adding a label for blogging... daily diary. I might, eventually, when I can't do much else, go back in and assign that to old posts. It'll be posts that are mostly just mundane life ramblings. I hate not having a label, or set of them, for posts. Plus they offer an easier way to find old posts along specific themes, or just wander through.
Laundry, setting up the dishes, then getting my sander and extension cord out. A little break to let the dishes soak and then I'll wash those, another break then deal with the laundry, another break and I'll hit the sanding. Sounds like a plan to me, for starters. I'll figure things out after that. Later, and good day.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Resting but weary.
.
.
Doing well. I just need some downtime. I did pull the trigger on something I have wanted for a while. I ordered Babylon 5, the complete series, the movies, and a branch series about which I was unaware... the Crusades, or some such. I have wanted this for a long time. I have, or had, it on dvd. I simply don't have a dvd player. That and the I didn't have the complete collection, let alone the movies or the extra series. Hmm... I ought to give them to my friend. I think he might enjoy them, and has a dvd player. No loss to me, at this point. If I can find them.
Not this month, but maybe in another month, I am hoping to buy a chronograph. With it I would feel more comfortable reloading. I have many friends who reload, but without using this device. So I know it can be done. One of those friends likes to load very hot, too. I have seen, first hand, what can be done with very little in the way of precaution. Now, for me, it isn't so much about precaution, at this point, as it is about precision. It will help me work up rounds, of several types perhaps, for each caliber. One round for target, perhaps. One round for self-defense. Perhaps even another round for hunting. If I wanted. Really I just want two types of rounds for my pistols, and even any rifle I might use. A load and bullet type for the most accurate and precise self-defense/hunting round, and a heavier penetration round. But I want to work them up and down, crafting as much precision as possible. The problem with this, of course, is availability of specific components. Sure, you can stockpile. But components have a limited lifespan. I have been looking to buy a chronograph for a very long time. I think my reloading friends will enjoy it just as much. The only price of use is... you break it, you buy it.
I doubt if I will get to sanding, but it could happen. And I won't be setting up the timer, most likely. I just don't have anything but a towel to throw in. I wanted to cook something for dinner, but even that is looking improbable. No worries, I knew I was pushing it. And I enjoyed going the extra distance. I got some of my list managed, and enjoyed some company and a couple extra meals this week. I won't knock it or worry. I'll just enjoy my rest unless I can knock something else off my list. There is always tomorrow. It has been a good summer, even with the downtimes. A few hiccups are to be expected. Later.
.
Doing well. I just need some downtime. I did pull the trigger on something I have wanted for a while. I ordered Babylon 5, the complete series, the movies, and a branch series about which I was unaware... the Crusades, or some such. I have wanted this for a long time. I have, or had, it on dvd. I simply don't have a dvd player. That and the I didn't have the complete collection, let alone the movies or the extra series. Hmm... I ought to give them to my friend. I think he might enjoy them, and has a dvd player. No loss to me, at this point. If I can find them.
Not this month, but maybe in another month, I am hoping to buy a chronograph. With it I would feel more comfortable reloading. I have many friends who reload, but without using this device. So I know it can be done. One of those friends likes to load very hot, too. I have seen, first hand, what can be done with very little in the way of precaution. Now, for me, it isn't so much about precaution, at this point, as it is about precision. It will help me work up rounds, of several types perhaps, for each caliber. One round for target, perhaps. One round for self-defense. Perhaps even another round for hunting. If I wanted. Really I just want two types of rounds for my pistols, and even any rifle I might use. A load and bullet type for the most accurate and precise self-defense/hunting round, and a heavier penetration round. But I want to work them up and down, crafting as much precision as possible. The problem with this, of course, is availability of specific components. Sure, you can stockpile. But components have a limited lifespan. I have been looking to buy a chronograph for a very long time. I think my reloading friends will enjoy it just as much. The only price of use is... you break it, you buy it.
I doubt if I will get to sanding, but it could happen. And I won't be setting up the timer, most likely. I just don't have anything but a towel to throw in. I wanted to cook something for dinner, but even that is looking improbable. No worries, I knew I was pushing it. And I enjoyed going the extra distance. I got some of my list managed, and enjoyed some company and a couple extra meals this week. I won't knock it or worry. I'll just enjoy my rest unless I can knock something else off my list. There is always tomorrow. It has been a good summer, even with the downtimes. A few hiccups are to be expected. Later.
A cool day of rest.
.
.
I am pretty much cooked after two days of being out of the house and into town. I did collect my mail. Thankfully. I had forgotten about the extra insecticide I had purchased. The ladies at the post know I am... sorely lacking in 'go' sometimes, and let it stand a little longer, I suspect. I have enough food to last for a while, but still need to get back into town, perhaps Friday or Saturday, for a very quick stop at several shops. Perhaps Friday, as I need to renew my drivers license while I am at things, and deal with property taxes.
I now have enough insecticide for several years of spraying. Every spring, early, then mid-summer spraying, should see me to a much more comfortable existence. I wonder how many preppers even consider that? Without the capacity to clean the home as is now done, without clean easy running water and some other things, something I know a bit if more due to health, bugs will become more of a problem. Well, and people will be at home much more than they are now. Two recipes for reasons to stock up a bit on the stuff, and a sprayer. Toss in livestock, harder work and less capacity to bath, and all else and... yeah... The next time I spray, I will probably buy more of the stuff. It works. But what works for me, here, may not work for you. Stop calling Ortho, or whoever, and learn how to do that yourself. Anyway...
Rest, today. I missed one dose of heart medicine and insulin Monday. And last night I forgot to brush. But in taking my stats the medicine miss didn't seem to cause much disturbance, and surprisingly, my mouth didn't feel too awful this morning. If you fall off, just get back on as quickly and seamlessly as possible, I suppose. Which I did. Sleep was very good, if it was a full nine hours and small change. It took a few minutes for the alarm to register. I was dreaming but have no recall. My stats are fairly good, 130's/90's, blood sugar is a little high, around 160's for the last few days (but lower than the 200 it had been running when last taking insulin and testing), and weight is pretty much the same at 280's.
It's a cool, almost cold, day. I am loving it. If I can get some things together, I might try to use the cool as a day to sand the workbench. I might see if the orbital sander is functional on the porch roof posts, too. And, perhaps, set up the timer and hoses for the lawn. I don't know if the kit I bought will really covers all of the hoses, and even if it does, I will need to move the hoses around between waterings, but I will find out soon enough. If it works, I will stay up late, a night or two, to check them. And check the results once in a while as well, and have them run later at night on into the dark. But the lawn and garden simply have to be watered at different times, due to water pressure limits. Boy am I enjoying the cool though. Not sure how long it is going to last, if I doubt that it will last long. All good... it is summer, you know.
Have a good day.
.
I am pretty much cooked after two days of being out of the house and into town. I did collect my mail. Thankfully. I had forgotten about the extra insecticide I had purchased. The ladies at the post know I am... sorely lacking in 'go' sometimes, and let it stand a little longer, I suspect. I have enough food to last for a while, but still need to get back into town, perhaps Friday or Saturday, for a very quick stop at several shops. Perhaps Friday, as I need to renew my drivers license while I am at things, and deal with property taxes.
I now have enough insecticide for several years of spraying. Every spring, early, then mid-summer spraying, should see me to a much more comfortable existence. I wonder how many preppers even consider that? Without the capacity to clean the home as is now done, without clean easy running water and some other things, something I know a bit if more due to health, bugs will become more of a problem. Well, and people will be at home much more than they are now. Two recipes for reasons to stock up a bit on the stuff, and a sprayer. Toss in livestock, harder work and less capacity to bath, and all else and... yeah... The next time I spray, I will probably buy more of the stuff. It works. But what works for me, here, may not work for you. Stop calling Ortho, or whoever, and learn how to do that yourself. Anyway...
Rest, today. I missed one dose of heart medicine and insulin Monday. And last night I forgot to brush. But in taking my stats the medicine miss didn't seem to cause much disturbance, and surprisingly, my mouth didn't feel too awful this morning. If you fall off, just get back on as quickly and seamlessly as possible, I suppose. Which I did. Sleep was very good, if it was a full nine hours and small change. It took a few minutes for the alarm to register. I was dreaming but have no recall. My stats are fairly good, 130's/90's, blood sugar is a little high, around 160's for the last few days (but lower than the 200 it had been running when last taking insulin and testing), and weight is pretty much the same at 280's.
It's a cool, almost cold, day. I am loving it. If I can get some things together, I might try to use the cool as a day to sand the workbench. I might see if the orbital sander is functional on the porch roof posts, too. And, perhaps, set up the timer and hoses for the lawn. I don't know if the kit I bought will really covers all of the hoses, and even if it does, I will need to move the hoses around between waterings, but I will find out soon enough. If it works, I will stay up late, a night or two, to check them. And check the results once in a while as well, and have them run later at night on into the dark. But the lawn and garden simply have to be watered at different times, due to water pressure limits. Boy am I enjoying the cool though. Not sure how long it is going to last, if I doubt that it will last long. All good... it is summer, you know.
Have a good day.
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Shooting.
.
.
I couldn't hit crap today. Too tired from yesterday, out of practice, just one of those days. No matter. Practice was needed and had. My friend, his friend, and his friend's son made it to the range, then a burger joint I hadn't visited. It's sort of new to town, as I scale time. It stayed cool throughout the day and shoot, which helped. But I am simply done. Tomorrow will be a day of rest, maybe Thursday too.
I had hoped to make it to the grocery store on the way back, and maybe stop at the coffee shop as well. Nope. Too tired. Then again, I left at about 13:00 and returned just right at 21:00. that is a very long day for me. A bit of coffee to put some life back into my bones so that sleep isn't so dead, a bit of gaming, then to bed by 23:00 or 0:00. Whenever I can get to it. I am hoping I will sleep well, but not too hard. I'll set the alarm for an eight plus one hour sleep, and try to beat the alarm.
It was good to get out. I have set up a cookout for Monday. If they bring libations and salads, I'll get a brisket and slow cook it, was the deal. I should call and see if they like it smoked. I am hoping to cook it for about six to eight hours, starting earlier, and monitoring the heat. At 250, it should do fine. Oh, I might ask them to bring a loaf of bread from the real bread store. That really goes with brisket well. Rye or a mixed wheat variety... perhaps a potato or peasant loaf... something.
Well, that is it for that. Good night.
.
I couldn't hit crap today. Too tired from yesterday, out of practice, just one of those days. No matter. Practice was needed and had. My friend, his friend, and his friend's son made it to the range, then a burger joint I hadn't visited. It's sort of new to town, as I scale time. It stayed cool throughout the day and shoot, which helped. But I am simply done. Tomorrow will be a day of rest, maybe Thursday too.
I had hoped to make it to the grocery store on the way back, and maybe stop at the coffee shop as well. Nope. Too tired. Then again, I left at about 13:00 and returned just right at 21:00. that is a very long day for me. A bit of coffee to put some life back into my bones so that sleep isn't so dead, a bit of gaming, then to bed by 23:00 or 0:00. Whenever I can get to it. I am hoping I will sleep well, but not too hard. I'll set the alarm for an eight plus one hour sleep, and try to beat the alarm.
It was good to get out. I have set up a cookout for Monday. If they bring libations and salads, I'll get a brisket and slow cook it, was the deal. I should call and see if they like it smoked. I am hoping to cook it for about six to eight hours, starting earlier, and monitoring the heat. At 250, it should do fine. Oh, I might ask them to bring a loaf of bread from the real bread store. That really goes with brisket well. Rye or a mixed wheat variety... perhaps a potato or peasant loaf... something.
Well, that is it for that. Good night.
Couldn't go down until late, again.
.
.
I slept very soundly. I missed one dose of medicine yesterday, just... because. I was sort of in a hurry to get going, and out, and... that slipped. It will happen. Not today again, and hopefully not for another couple of weeks or a month. Being a bit cool here, over cast as it was and remains, and with a healthy rain, from the looks of it, sleep was one of those very good things. I was well on my way to remembering a dream. Such wonderful sleep. The phone rang in the middle of my idyllic sleep session.
Usually, even when sleeping, when I get a call I do one of two things. I hide from it, pretend I don't hear it, assuming I really don't miss it, then spend hours of guilt until I get back to whomever it was who called. Or I, which is usually the case, answer it. Happy to receive a call. My reaction today was one of indignation, for reasons I still haven't fathomed. Who could it be, what are they calling regarding, what time is it? It still being dark when I opened my eyes, I felt insulted. Very odd reaction, but reactions, like dreams, are what they are. I couldn't find the phone in time, but did see that it was my mother, and that it wasn't quite 6:00.
Actually, I, after waking just a bit, was pleased with the call, and the timing. While not quite ready to be awake, and probably needing more sleep, I have been wanting to try to wake a little earlier. And, it woke me... a little earlier. It's good to enjoy the early morning cool. Waking earlier allows more day in which to work. I called back when I could figure out which claw to click the phone with, and in which order. Gosh but surprise early wakes can be a bit whacky.
Nothing new. She was just calling back. I had tried to call last night. Oh, did I wake you? Did you wake me? Seriously? I know she enjoys that. She has enjoyed waking me for as long as I have been alive. Cruel, I tell you. Her and my brother were always early to bed, early to rise. I was the black sheep of the family even in this, and they have enjoyed that as much as I enjoyed disturbing their nights. Even two to one, though, I think I won. Never mind. It's just good to talk once in a while, especially when things are going well.
Today? Well, since I am up, I can take a slow approach to figuring that all out. Mostly it will be about another trip to town. A quick stop at the gun shops to check ammunition prices and look for .22 long rifle. Though a few other calibers would be good. I'm still stocking up on .45 and 9 mm. The goal, for each, is about 2k, and for .22 it is about 4k-8k. I'm not far from that in .45, but 9 mm is sort of a new thing, and I have a ways to go for that. I was there with .22 but shot without replacing before I realized I couldn't replace due to lack of availability. I doubt if I have a thousand rounds of .22, and yes, that causes me some worry. Not the type of worry I lose sleep over, but an activating sort of worry. I could fill that, but I simply refuse to pay $120 for 500 of those, and think those who do are extending the problem. I think the .45 and 9 mm are what I will be taking today. It is only supposed to get to 80, as a high. And, perhaps, remain overcast. I am thinking that shooting in the mountains might be cooler yet. And, yes, I am all about cool.
Anything else that might happen to get done, or not, is of minor concern. And tomorrow will probably need to be a day of rest. Unless I am feeling my oats. If so, I will push on but I am not concerning myself with plans, at this point. I will figure out my literal tomorrow when it arrives, depending on how I feel. Ugh, but 6:00? I might need a nap in a few hours. My friend is set to call at 11:00, so if I am going to nap, I will probably do so from 8:00 to 10:00, then get up and shower and pretty much be ready to go. Or... that is the plan if all else works out.
Later.
.
I slept very soundly. I missed one dose of medicine yesterday, just... because. I was sort of in a hurry to get going, and out, and... that slipped. It will happen. Not today again, and hopefully not for another couple of weeks or a month. Being a bit cool here, over cast as it was and remains, and with a healthy rain, from the looks of it, sleep was one of those very good things. I was well on my way to remembering a dream. Such wonderful sleep. The phone rang in the middle of my idyllic sleep session.
Usually, even when sleeping, when I get a call I do one of two things. I hide from it, pretend I don't hear it, assuming I really don't miss it, then spend hours of guilt until I get back to whomever it was who called. Or I, which is usually the case, answer it. Happy to receive a call. My reaction today was one of indignation, for reasons I still haven't fathomed. Who could it be, what are they calling regarding, what time is it? It still being dark when I opened my eyes, I felt insulted. Very odd reaction, but reactions, like dreams, are what they are. I couldn't find the phone in time, but did see that it was my mother, and that it wasn't quite 6:00.
Actually, I, after waking just a bit, was pleased with the call, and the timing. While not quite ready to be awake, and probably needing more sleep, I have been wanting to try to wake a little earlier. And, it woke me... a little earlier. It's good to enjoy the early morning cool. Waking earlier allows more day in which to work. I called back when I could figure out which claw to click the phone with, and in which order. Gosh but surprise early wakes can be a bit whacky.
Nothing new. She was just calling back. I had tried to call last night. Oh, did I wake you? Did you wake me? Seriously? I know she enjoys that. She has enjoyed waking me for as long as I have been alive. Cruel, I tell you. Her and my brother were always early to bed, early to rise. I was the black sheep of the family even in this, and they have enjoyed that as much as I enjoyed disturbing their nights. Even two to one, though, I think I won. Never mind. It's just good to talk once in a while, especially when things are going well.
Today? Well, since I am up, I can take a slow approach to figuring that all out. Mostly it will be about another trip to town. A quick stop at the gun shops to check ammunition prices and look for .22 long rifle. Though a few other calibers would be good. I'm still stocking up on .45 and 9 mm. The goal, for each, is about 2k, and for .22 it is about 4k-8k. I'm not far from that in .45, but 9 mm is sort of a new thing, and I have a ways to go for that. I was there with .22 but shot without replacing before I realized I couldn't replace due to lack of availability. I doubt if I have a thousand rounds of .22, and yes, that causes me some worry. Not the type of worry I lose sleep over, but an activating sort of worry. I could fill that, but I simply refuse to pay $120 for 500 of those, and think those who do are extending the problem. I think the .45 and 9 mm are what I will be taking today. It is only supposed to get to 80, as a high. And, perhaps, remain overcast. I am thinking that shooting in the mountains might be cooler yet. And, yes, I am all about cool.
Anything else that might happen to get done, or not, is of minor concern. And tomorrow will probably need to be a day of rest. Unless I am feeling my oats. If so, I will push on but I am not concerning myself with plans, at this point. I will figure out my literal tomorrow when it arrives, depending on how I feel. Ugh, but 6:00? I might need a nap in a few hours. My friend is set to call at 11:00, so if I am going to nap, I will probably do so from 8:00 to 10:00, then get up and shower and pretty much be ready to go. Or... that is the plan if all else works out.
Later.
Monday, July 28, 2014
No more co-blogging.
.
.
I liked the idea. I went with it for a while. I knew I wasn't a good fit. I don't fit there, or anywhere really. That isn't why I ended the relationship. At this point I simply do not see any benefit to offering council. The time for talking has come and gone. Actually, the die was cast before I was born. Long before I was born. The fruits are simply being borne to emancipation, among other things. The state, the constitutional nation, to which I thought I was born was already ended by the time I was born. The last nails were yet to be pounded into the casket, but the corpse was cold and dead.
At this point, all that remains of hope for the nation is various economics collapses which offer opportunities for rebuilding. The two major problems with those are that most of the people who have the authority to rebuild would be using the blueprints that lead to failure. They don't know any better, and professional believe contrary to reason, history, and tradition, at this point. The other problem is that every crack that opens up for change to the right also opens up a crack to the wrong. Oh, sure, men might decide to override it all. But men strong enough to do so rarely choose to not get ahead while doing that. There is some room for that, but not much. And, populism pays, for politicians and generals alike. Egos, for most men, and gold, trump what is right.
There is no more reason to discuss politics, social impacts and collapse, feminism, religion, or any other thing at this point. It is nearing end game strategies, and for most people, that comes down to surviving a new and terrible paradigm shift. We are still living on great fat, even as our economy and personal wealth decline. The next generation will not be greater. Much of the next generation has been incinerated or never allowed to exist in the first place. Essentially, the next generation will not even be American, save by geography. They are tribal, and will force tribal from the rest. How do you talk around, or about, those things? Especially with people who believe those things are good, somehow?
So... I'll stick to personal blogging. Ignoring much of this matter as well. There is no reason to discuss the reasons or outcomes. I understand that most who have access to a computer, and the education to use it in such a manner as not to be obviously foolish and easily ignored, are also indoctrinated into believe that emancipation, birth control, abortion, and such, are good things. And they do. So I don't bother, save when it comes up for other reasons or just floats through.
Time is short, the clock is ticking. I have not time to discuss reality with people who don't even know what they believe, other than anything that is right or true is, obviously, wrong because Patriarchy, or because ecology, or because science... none of which they could pull out of their ass to save their head being removed from their shoulders. Which it is what the choice is going to end as. Those who can't survive, won't. Even those who can will be up against it. Days? Years? Months? A decade? In time you will see that it was and is and will be... today.
Yeah, I'll still put up my doings, lists of things to do and buy, plans, goals, and efforts. I'll add in my dreams, when I can. I will add music and thoughts about it. But I'm not going to fuss with those who are gone, living in a dead world.
Good night.
.
I liked the idea. I went with it for a while. I knew I wasn't a good fit. I don't fit there, or anywhere really. That isn't why I ended the relationship. At this point I simply do not see any benefit to offering council. The time for talking has come and gone. Actually, the die was cast before I was born. Long before I was born. The fruits are simply being borne to emancipation, among other things. The state, the constitutional nation, to which I thought I was born was already ended by the time I was born. The last nails were yet to be pounded into the casket, but the corpse was cold and dead.
At this point, all that remains of hope for the nation is various economics collapses which offer opportunities for rebuilding. The two major problems with those are that most of the people who have the authority to rebuild would be using the blueprints that lead to failure. They don't know any better, and professional believe contrary to reason, history, and tradition, at this point. The other problem is that every crack that opens up for change to the right also opens up a crack to the wrong. Oh, sure, men might decide to override it all. But men strong enough to do so rarely choose to not get ahead while doing that. There is some room for that, but not much. And, populism pays, for politicians and generals alike. Egos, for most men, and gold, trump what is right.
There is no more reason to discuss politics, social impacts and collapse, feminism, religion, or any other thing at this point. It is nearing end game strategies, and for most people, that comes down to surviving a new and terrible paradigm shift. We are still living on great fat, even as our economy and personal wealth decline. The next generation will not be greater. Much of the next generation has been incinerated or never allowed to exist in the first place. Essentially, the next generation will not even be American, save by geography. They are tribal, and will force tribal from the rest. How do you talk around, or about, those things? Especially with people who believe those things are good, somehow?
So... I'll stick to personal blogging. Ignoring much of this matter as well. There is no reason to discuss the reasons or outcomes. I understand that most who have access to a computer, and the education to use it in such a manner as not to be obviously foolish and easily ignored, are also indoctrinated into believe that emancipation, birth control, abortion, and such, are good things. And they do. So I don't bother, save when it comes up for other reasons or just floats through.
Time is short, the clock is ticking. I have not time to discuss reality with people who don't even know what they believe, other than anything that is right or true is, obviously, wrong because Patriarchy, or because ecology, or because science... none of which they could pull out of their ass to save their head being removed from their shoulders. Which it is what the choice is going to end as. Those who can't survive, won't. Even those who can will be up against it. Days? Years? Months? A decade? In time you will see that it was and is and will be... today.
Yeah, I'll still put up my doings, lists of things to do and buy, plans, goals, and efforts. I'll add in my dreams, when I can. I will add music and thoughts about it. But I'm not going to fuss with those who are gone, living in a dead world.
Good night.
Yes, awake and alive.
.
.
Something is coming back, and at speed. Is there a reason or is it just something that happens as I surface? I don't know but it is profoundly powerful. It is as good as I have ever been since becoming better these last few years, with room for much more. There is almost real life, and corporeal power, just a stone's throw away. I don't know if I will reach it this time, but I am beginning to reach for it even now. It is something I fear.
Why fear? Have you ever considered what we are programmed to do? Of all the big, or little, things, our minds, hearts, and souls or spirits, that of man, nephilim, even those bearing the mark of Cain, are meant to find the tools which they use, then use them. It is what we do. It is a call that underwrites all of our other motives and inspirations. My choice of tools, and call to action, is war. If health returned, I could, as well, become an engineer, a husband and father, even a bit of a farmer on the smaller scale. All of these would be secondary, and would become integrated into my warrior's nature, which is primary. It is what I do, it is tools for this that I seek, and find. A powerful body means a readiness for war. But does readiness mean it is time? That is what I fear.
.
Something is coming back, and at speed. Is there a reason or is it just something that happens as I surface? I don't know but it is profoundly powerful. It is as good as I have ever been since becoming better these last few years, with room for much more. There is almost real life, and corporeal power, just a stone's throw away. I don't know if I will reach it this time, but I am beginning to reach for it even now. It is something I fear.
Why fear? Have you ever considered what we are programmed to do? Of all the big, or little, things, our minds, hearts, and souls or spirits, that of man, nephilim, even those bearing the mark of Cain, are meant to find the tools which they use, then use them. It is what we do. It is a call that underwrites all of our other motives and inspirations. My choice of tools, and call to action, is war. If health returned, I could, as well, become an engineer, a husband and father, even a bit of a farmer on the smaller scale. All of these would be secondary, and would become integrated into my warrior's nature, which is primary. It is what I do, it is tools for this that I seek, and find. A powerful body means a readiness for war. But does readiness mean it is time? That is what I fear.
That worked well enough.
.
.
It's hot out there. To me. Even being overcast. Direct sun would have been much more brutal. This was hard enough. Tomorrow is supposed to be cooler.
I made it to town, and called my friend as I was getting ready for a shower. He thought it would be too hot to shoot today, but as mentioned, passed the notion of shooting tomorrow. I had wanted to make a single run to town. After thinking about things, however, I decided that two runs actually sounded better. Sure, it'll jack me around a bit, and I will need to take a day off. But pushing everything I wanted and needed to do into one trip... Yeah., no. Today was for groceries, the hardware store, and a bite to eat for lunch. Tomorrow will be a day of shooting, perhaps looking over the ammunition availability especially .22 long rifle, and another meal.
I bought a lot more than I had intended at the grocery store. But my freezers are getting a bit bare. I need to put in an order for a hog. They take about three months, which will give me time to be ready. Once that is done, and when picking up the hog, I may, again, investigate a quarter or half of a beef. It's a lot of money but is a lot cheaper than buying it at the store, piecemeal. I have expanded my ability to cook so that I can now use those roasts that would otherwise languish. Not all roasts have to be eaten as roast. Think homemade potted beef! Or even beef and noodles. Same with pork. This time, though, I will ask about the pork feet and brains. Yeah, yeah, shut up. You eat what you eat, I'll eat what I eat.
The hardware store had everything I needed. I was a bit surprised they had bee's wax, but then it isn't uncommon for finishing wood. I'm just new to this whole notion. I bought enough chemicals for several all I need, and then some. And, when I finish the benchtop, I might hit the support beams for the porch, on both sides of the house. I will need to sand those a goodly bit first, but that should be relatively easy. I don't think the orbital sander would work best on those, so... might have to bend my arm around the elbow and buy a belt sander? Gosh, you know how much I hate buying tools. Hmm... and while I am at it, I may pick up my first standard wood plane. When I buy one sort of electric tool, I like also buying something that might fill in for it, in a pinch. It might seem foolish, but I think it will pay. Plus it gives me two tools for the price of three! :p
I hope the pressure regulator works. I did buy a timer kit, with a new water spread bar, a bar I can hook four hoses too. The one I have is leaking terribly. Now, I might work on that bar, figure out if there is something I can fix with it, but as slowly as I do things, I don't want to wait and this kit was just a few dollars more than a kit without the distribution bar. I love being able to do, think, buy, build, and work. Slow as it is going, it is going. Life is slow, difficult, exhausting, but satisfying. I just wish I had a bit more to put in for a bit more out. I'll keep at it.
Groceries are sorted and away. I'll get a cup of coffee in a second, never had one this morning. I got in a hurry. I made it, just didn't drink it! Oh well. At least it is still, by my book, fresh. And I have real cream for it tonight. Such a dessert compared to canned milk. I am running the front and a side hose for an hour. With the cloud cover I can do that early. I am starting to see some green. After those areas are hit, I will move a couple of hoses around in the back and hit those areas too. I feel bad about letting the lawn go like that. I just didn't have a way around the fall. Other than that, the rest of tonight will be resting, gaming, blogging, and just... getting ready for bed and another go at town tomorrow. Later.
.
It's hot out there. To me. Even being overcast. Direct sun would have been much more brutal. This was hard enough. Tomorrow is supposed to be cooler.
I made it to town, and called my friend as I was getting ready for a shower. He thought it would be too hot to shoot today, but as mentioned, passed the notion of shooting tomorrow. I had wanted to make a single run to town. After thinking about things, however, I decided that two runs actually sounded better. Sure, it'll jack me around a bit, and I will need to take a day off. But pushing everything I wanted and needed to do into one trip... Yeah., no. Today was for groceries, the hardware store, and a bite to eat for lunch. Tomorrow will be a day of shooting, perhaps looking over the ammunition availability especially .22 long rifle, and another meal.
I bought a lot more than I had intended at the grocery store. But my freezers are getting a bit bare. I need to put in an order for a hog. They take about three months, which will give me time to be ready. Once that is done, and when picking up the hog, I may, again, investigate a quarter or half of a beef. It's a lot of money but is a lot cheaper than buying it at the store, piecemeal. I have expanded my ability to cook so that I can now use those roasts that would otherwise languish. Not all roasts have to be eaten as roast. Think homemade potted beef! Or even beef and noodles. Same with pork. This time, though, I will ask about the pork feet and brains. Yeah, yeah, shut up. You eat what you eat, I'll eat what I eat.
The hardware store had everything I needed. I was a bit surprised they had bee's wax, but then it isn't uncommon for finishing wood. I'm just new to this whole notion. I bought enough chemicals for several all I need, and then some. And, when I finish the benchtop, I might hit the support beams for the porch, on both sides of the house. I will need to sand those a goodly bit first, but that should be relatively easy. I don't think the orbital sander would work best on those, so... might have to bend my arm around the elbow and buy a belt sander? Gosh, you know how much I hate buying tools. Hmm... and while I am at it, I may pick up my first standard wood plane. When I buy one sort of electric tool, I like also buying something that might fill in for it, in a pinch. It might seem foolish, but I think it will pay. Plus it gives me two tools for the price of three! :p
I hope the pressure regulator works. I did buy a timer kit, with a new water spread bar, a bar I can hook four hoses too. The one I have is leaking terribly. Now, I might work on that bar, figure out if there is something I can fix with it, but as slowly as I do things, I don't want to wait and this kit was just a few dollars more than a kit without the distribution bar. I love being able to do, think, buy, build, and work. Slow as it is going, it is going. Life is slow, difficult, exhausting, but satisfying. I just wish I had a bit more to put in for a bit more out. I'll keep at it.
Groceries are sorted and away. I'll get a cup of coffee in a second, never had one this morning. I got in a hurry. I made it, just didn't drink it! Oh well. At least it is still, by my book, fresh. And I have real cream for it tonight. Such a dessert compared to canned milk. I am running the front and a side hose for an hour. With the cloud cover I can do that early. I am starting to see some green. After those areas are hit, I will move a couple of hoses around in the back and hit those areas too. I feel bad about letting the lawn go like that. I just didn't have a way around the fall. Other than that, the rest of tonight will be resting, gaming, blogging, and just... getting ready for bed and another go at town tomorrow. Later.
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