Getting there.

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Getting everything in order is tricky.  I'm just not back in shape.  Still, when given a hand up, I'll take it.  I've been offered several recently.  I'll take it.  First things first, I wrote a list of things needed or wanted.  Grocery and hardware included.  I've been checking it since, adding a few items so far.  If I am in town, and remember something else, I'll add it even then.  I have the returns together and ready, though I will need shipping slips for some of them.  Yeah, we will see.

I remember to print the return materials out.  Took a shower and dressed.  I keep checking outside to see if anything else has started.  It's that time of year, and that sort of weather.  The post office will be visited first.  If they have shipping sleeves I'll buy some there.  I know I have at least one package, or group of packages really, in.  Maybe more.

Food notions.

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With a stove back in availability, and limits on what is available this morning, along with some youtube views, I decided to try fish broth.  Banito flakes, several types of seaweed for various stages, heated water, fermented bean paste, and a bit of time... well and some specialty tools... produced breakfast.  Tasty?  Not so much.  It is rich, it tastes like fermented fish, it is thick, but it is, has to be, and acquired taste.  I added a bit of whole cream, which did cut it a bit.  Even so, between being an acquired taste and all else, I wasn't able to consume much.  And, yet, I will, most likely, try to consume this a few times a week, as an alternative to regular bone broth.  Here is one way to do it.  I added a certain type of seaweed for brewing, but not eating, miso.  Then I added another type of seaweed that is for flavor and consumption (if I ended up straining it out, I just couldn't do it).  All else was the same.  I am thinking, if I cut out the seaweed, and work on the amound of chips, I can probably make it much milder, at least for the start so as to build up tolerance.

Waking up sore.

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Things have improved.  It has been that I would wake up sore, be sore off and on through the day, then as bedtime arrived I would become pained again.  I am down to, mostly, waking up sore.

Even so, I wanted to see if it was still snowing.  If it wasn't, I wanted to see how much snow had fallen to prep for shoveling shortly.  It... was gone?  Had it melted?  The snow seemed to remain elsewhere.  I couldn't... focus, at first.  So I had to look front, then out the back door.  Someone(s) had shoveled.  I must admit to being quite grateful.

I won't waste the hand up.  A shower is my next thing.  That might help with the pain.  Some painkillers right now, as well.  Some tea, cold.  For whatever reason, at 66F in here, I am almost too warm.  I think as my body builds muscle from what I have torn my body heats excessively.  I am guessing I tore things all over my body in my haste.  My biceps, which I had thought I got to 15 sometime back, but hadn't... and admitted it?  Are now nearly 16 inches.  Pretty anemic, but compared to a bit over 14, it's improvement.  No, I haven't been working out, not even the hand exercises, not for months.  Hey!  I actually DO have 16" guns.  *grins*

The goal of the shower is to be ready to roll into town this morning.  Parts to buy, groceries too, and returns.  I have four things to send back through the line.  I think, from now on, when I buy eggs for mayo, I am only buying a small pack.  Those eggs don't seem to last well in the fridge, as do my usual eggs.  They just don't.  I like having eggs that will last two to four weeks, in the fridge.  I really want and need the freshest for raw egg applications, but I don't need that for everything.  I may wrap those in clear foil, both type, to see if that helps, as well.  My fridge has the smells of a decade or two of use, and refrigerators are what they are... they smell.  I may move to buying a new one every four to five years.  Used vehicles, new fridges... that's a change.

Hmm...  Oh, and I think I may order some ribeyes.  That'll probably be my main meal meat three to four times a week.  A thick cut, say inch and an half.  Meat doesn't seem to last well in the freezer.  The pork did though.  Lamb won't last long enough to test.  But beef goes a bit off a bit quicker, or this seemed to do so.  I think I'll go with half a beef, and make sure to give a decent amount of that away.  Four to six months is about as long as I like beef in the freezer, if this is normal.  Then again, my taste buds are very off.  Not sure what is up with that.  Gum might be... doing something weird.

Oh, and hush.  I am not complaining, casting aspersions, or any such.  I am just saying what is on my mind.  I might be right, I might be wrong, I might be singular.  I simply... don't always know.  Which... is part of why I write, to figure things out, get feedback, ruminate.  If I have a... beef with you?  *cough*  You will know it.  And... I don't even have a beef with the guy who forgot to get the parts for the appliances needed for installation.  Oh, I am sure he knew.  I just suspect it was company policy not to help in that manner.  Job openings are tight, so you do what you are supposed to do.  Like it?  Who wakes up on any morning, cleans, dresses, and goes out into the cold, because they like it.  Food, family, if there is some desire it is run over by the needs of a family, trampled into duty, and much more rigorous for it.  I don't hate a man for... reality.  Though, perhaps, it was an oversight.  I'm just not buying that.  I just, as mentioned, at this point, don't mind.

Well, perhaps some waking, a few painpills, and... I don't know.  A shower as soon as I can.  No breakfast.  I will let someone make that for me in town.  It's been a while since I stopped in to several places.  I may stop in to one of my old haunts this morning, or go to a new one.  Dunno.  Later.  And... thanks for the shoveling.  That sure opened some doors for me.

Longer than I expected, shorter than hoped.

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It is nearly 16:00, an hour and change short.  All good.  The oatmeal didn't crash me, it's just time, and change.  I couldn't really taste the oatmeal but I can sense it.  I didn't need to eat much of it.  A potent food, more so when soaked beforehand.  I haven't looked to see how much snow came down, if it stuck, if it's still falling.  I just... haven't.  I will, as I go to bed.  I haven't showered either.  I just... it's not pain, or exhaustion, or... just a malaise.  More, I think, of spirit than of flesh.  It'll improve before long.  The flesh is on it's ways to being better.

Have a good rest of the day.  I sure wish I could be awake along with you.  So it goes.  Good night.

It looks to be snowing again.

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Oh, well, yes.  A little disappointing.  And yet not really.  Shoveling isn't really a problem.  If all else fails I am set to wait things out in here, if I don't see that being the problem.  If I am stuck here, it is more due to simply still being a bit drained.  It is just that I hate to watch the work I did undone.

I still haven't gotten a shower in.  I'm beginning to slow down.  I may go to bed in several hours, or sooner.  It's not a terrible exhaustion I face, just... It's nearing my bedtime.  I would like to push until 17:00, I just am not sure I have that in me.  I have oatmeal soaking, and may have that for dinner.  Along with cream and maybe one of the sugar substitutes.

It's so odd.  So very hungry and yet not really able to eat.  If you can't taste food you just don't want to eat it.  I may turn to steaks as a more common food.  Along with salads, plus several other things.  Hamburger... I just... it's okay but it gets very old very fast.  I need to add a bit more been, rice, and some other things into my diet.  But those have to be kept to, say, a cup every other day.  It's difficult to cook so little, to be honest.  Cooking more is a temptation.  Hmm... I'll think about this.

Later, or perhaps, more like probably, good night.  If I eat the oats and that gets to me, I may go down fast.

No nap, feeling a bit better, and snow removal.

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While I was hoping for the middle, as beat up as I have been it was just a hope.  A far-flung one, sent on the slimmest of prayers or maybe not even a prayer.  God knows I hurt, He also understands physics, my lack of fitness, my illness, and the rest.  No, I wasn't going to ask for something improbable.  Still, here it is, mostly.  And why I didn't nap, or collapse, sometime between waking and now I can't say.  As rough as it was there, off and on, for most of the earlier morning, I just... almost noon and I will probably be up until early evening.

I noticed the snow out there earlier this morning.  I looked at it, then looked away, and then left the notion of the whole idea.  Being as rough as I was, seeing more work literally piling up was just too much.  As it neared 11:00 though I thought, perhaps, I could shovel then make it to the post office at least.  I suppose, technically, I could.  But I want a shower before I go out again.  I need a shower.  Which precludes the post office.  Now I might well be able to make it to town, later, for shopping and parts, or not.  I don't know.  I, again, would have to get a shower in.  Actually getting a shower is my primary next step... after a bit of a break.

Shoveling didn't even bother me.  I did it all in one go, just breaking a few beads of sweat not even at the end but right as I was sitting to begin this post.  Yeah.  Pretty cool actually.  I don't think that is normal.  There are men my age who don't have any illness who can't do this.  It wasn't the heaviest snow, or the deepest, but it is a long wide drive with a small walk as well.  Add that to what else I have been doing and it really is something.  Yeah, a shower.

I made eggs this morning.  They just didn't taste good.  They should be fresh enough.  It just didn't seem to matter.  I cooked them right.  Perhaps I simply don't have much taste for food these days.  I did eat, probably, about an egg and maybe a fifth of a cup of cheese.  The rest I simply tossed.  Nothing seems to taste good.  I have meat thawing, but, to be honest, not even that tastes good.  It seems more solid, so... fills me better?  I still can't eat all that much.  Not even the lamb chops have much going for them.  There are benefits, I certainly won't eat too much.  But I do need food.  Hmm, I may see if the lettuce is any good and if so have some of that.  If the lamb chops are thawed, that would go very well with the salad.  Later.

Strange dreams.

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She asked me to let her go.  I told her that I have no claim or promise from her.  It seems, to her mind, I do.  I told her I could not relinquish my want of her, or love for her as it stands, because it is real.  Wise?  What love IS wise?  There is a wisdom in love, a right love, but it mostly isn't ours to own or claim.  As a woman who is beautiful, if she lords it over others, she loses some of the content of that.  As with a man who is strong who boasts it may reduce himself to that.  The wisdom of love is something of the divine.  It can be enjoyed, or endured, just not claimed.  No, there was nothing I could do for her.  And, should I believe she might be willing, or interested, I would pursue.  I just don't see that.

Then I was at church.  Some of the women were not happy to see me.  Feminism had corrupted much.  Whispers behind my back, one of them snidely asked how vegetarianism was going for me.  It was an anti-virtue signaling marker rather than anything to do with a diet I obviously do not entertain, let alone support for others.  Then I saw some woman, partially dressed in vestments, and I through sheer presence frowned on the event and disapproved.  The corruption of Vatican II will fall or the church will dissipate.  It's not so much a choice of the church as a matter of reality.  Women cannot be priests.  Abortion is always evil.  Some things just are the way they are.  I am hated by the feminists in the church, and because of their influence, I do not go often.  I still need to begin attending some things, but not in places where feminism has been allowed to fester, or even is allowed serious say.  Don't even point fingers.

To be honest I am not sure if anything has changed.  If a great calamity still occurs, perhaps the reins are in better hands.  Time will tell.  You cannot create a fraudulent economy, then keep it going so far beyond functional truth and for so long without a major failure.  It isn't just the US, the whole world has colluded in order to keep the rich rich and the poor in place, even creating more poor so as to balance that against the extremely wealthy.  It not only won't, it can't work.  Though, as with all hard things, the sooner the better.  But those who will lose, and that is the ones in charge to now, do not wish to lose.  Then again, nobody wants to lose, even if all they get is redistribution and low-rent quota positions.  Oh, have no worries, I will lose more than most.  Just, possibly, everything.  Still, I know it has to happen.

Hmm?  Some pain pills, maybe some gaming if I can't get back to sleep right away, then sleep when it can be had again.  I have truly ripped muscle, stressed bone, and am now paying the price.  I haven't done this good in decades.  But I do need to rest.  Later.

Serious pain.

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Pushing that far in I knew the extraction would be uncomfortable.  I am not at all surprised, after resting for days, to just now be hitting my stride in the extraction of pains.  Arms and chest and legs, like after the first week of football practice.  I had worse, I just can't remember those things.  Boot camp was actually worse, but not all physical.  It was the regimen, the hours, with the physical added in as a component and not the heaviest component by far, so there was no real recovery, in that, for me.

I have set up the bed so that it is warm enough, and more.  That should help with recovery.  Until last night, or the night before, I can't recall, I had been sleeping with just a cover sheet and two blankets.  I never was warm at night.  I think that was setting recovery back.  All I added was a heavy top cover-blanket but it worked.  Now I have to add and remove layers through the night, but I do get warm and stay warm.  I believe recovery will be quicker now.  And I should sleep more deeply.

I need to begin cooking again.  I have had this and that to get by eating.  It's getting long in the tooth or is simply gone now.  So, back to it.  I don't know if I said, but I won't be using my cast iron on the stovetop anymore.  I will use it in the oven.  The problem is oil seeps to the outside and bottom of the pan, making it almost impossible to cook cleanly.  Which is fine.  I have several good stainless and 'teflon' type pans for regular use.  To be honest I don't think they are as good as cast iron, much more difficult to cook with, harder to truly keep clean, but they aren't messy to the stove to cook with.  Thing is, if these pans get a scratch in them, you really have to change them out.  That is some seriously bad to eat stuff that scrapes off.  I can test out, more thoroughly, the high carbon pans though.  If they work like cast, as has been suggested, but don't bleed out oil, they might work better.

For right now, mostly, other than cooking as required, I am still down for the count.  Another day or two and I hope I can begin doing more.  I need to make some returns, get the washing machine going, and buy groceries... before everything closes down for Christmas.  Ugh.  I want to go back to bed but I am not sure I can.  A few more hours would get me in line to maybe work back to a regular day schedule.  Oh, and I need to go to the post office, which is doable even if I do nothing else as to getting out.  Later.

Should, could, would, won't.

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I am, at times, baffled as whether to post or not.  Oh, yes, I really go back and forth.  A recent post has been put up, taken down, and repeatedly.  I have decided to just leave it up, finally.  If I am still not sure I should.

It is about time for a nap.  Or more.  Some items have arrived which make eating certain seafood much simpler.  I have taken enough for my use out and left the others for a visitor.  In case I am not awake later, or tomorrow, or whenever.  Lobster is on the way, I suspect.  I haven't received a notification, but that stuff is sent and is supposed to make it in a day or less, if all is accounted.  We will see.  It's not an every year thing.  Not even a once a year thing.  It is just a thing.

I am still tired, deep down.  I think the cool is adding to it.  Which is fine, mostly.  I have the time to rest.  I have some items to buy, some returns to make, and groceries to pick up.  Soon, I hope.  Tonight, tomorrow, the next day, I just don't know.  I have tried warming the cave, but it just...  When I am this tired I may not be able to break through the cool.  I'll keep at it.

Yes, nap or sleep time.  I have done what little I can.  I sure hope to get going on the drain as I would really like to get going on the laundry, then the rest of the cave.  I am excited to finish up my bedroom, redo the spare bedroom, arrange the rest of my clothes that are still to be washed, then hit the kitchen, bathroom, and then living room.  I am hoping to have most of it done by New Years.  At worst by February.  While I have a hog coming in then, I would like to get a plumber in as well.

I want to have all mechanical, plumbing, and minor electrical problems solved by next December, then begin deciding about whether the kitchen floor is next, or whether I should spend the money to get the en suite done... if I really can't get in and get going on that.  Bleh.  I have some hope that I can get the en suite myself.  The kitchen floor, though, I don't think so.  Even if I go with rubber matting or some other easy to do, but good on the feet and leg material, that can be rolled out.  I may need sub-floor replacement on some of it.  Yeah...  Anyway...  I'll be keeping at it, when I can get back to it and when I can keep at it.

Later.

Wear black much?

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He asked as if it didn't need answered.  He asked whether I had been wearing it since a young child.  He simply doesn't understand.  I wear black often, these days, if more as a lark.  And... even he should know.  Yeah, he has to know.  I've told him if he doesn't want to see, don't look. And yet he sees, which means he looks.

Back to sleeping as needed.

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Much sleep is needed.  All good.  Plus, I am pretty sure, I will soon be back to it.  Not heavy, hard, and fast, but a reasonable pace, and very possibly starting to day though may not until tomorrow.  The first task I will do, when I begin, is to go to town and find the parts I need, do a bit of shopping, and begin again from there.

My body isn't sore so much as tight.  It feels more like setting concrete than iron, at the moment.  But I remember this from during football practices, and later, during times when I would come off easy periods.  Most people don't ever actually work to the point where they take a break and come back to it like this.  Then again, in part I am doing this because I have been doing so little for so long.  That I recognize it, though, that is the tell.

I hope to work this to where I have some level of functional fitness.  I'm not looking for a return to the fitness I had in the service, or even high school sports fitness.  I simply have no need of that much.  It was a bear to keep up, costs a lot in food, and all such.  Still, I want to be in much better shape.  I am getting there.  I just don't know where the limits, or possibilities begin and end.  Sometimes I don't have as much of a choice, either.  Though I am learning to push through hard times, and make it on through to some point as needed beyond where I thought I could go.

My stove is not balanced.  I will be looking at how to do that.  It really isn't easy to do, definitely not alone.  I may have to see if I can set it up for easy work, have everything ready, then ask someone for a hand.  I will need to do the same with the washer and dryer.  Yes, it... makes a difference.  Just for cooking, having the fat leave one part of the pan untouched is a bad thing and annoying.

Still, for now, and until I am better, if I need sleep I will have sleep.  I might even toss in extra sleep just because I think it could be useful.  Waking just before two could turn into a very long day.  A nap might be good in six hours or so, for example.  Want it or not, of mind, I think my body might just take it, knowing what else I have planned.

I hate doing little, but for now I don't have all that much choice.  Hmm, back to reading maybe?  I need to find something more for when I can do little.  I have even considered legos, or other such.  Especially a motorized kit I can make more than one project through.  Though, sometimes, when this tired, even using the mind is too taxing.  Reading, for example, can be too much, or in the past.  I'll think on it.  Later.

Sleeping as needed.

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I pushed a little hard.  So, now, I sleep when my body wants to rest.  I went down around noon.  I thought I might be able to just pull off a nap.  Not so much.  A call saying dinner was arriving woke me at about 19:00.  At about 21:00 I do believe I'll have a big glass of water and go on back to bed.  Turkey was quite good.  Some can cook turkey right, some can't.  This was right.  Moist, done, tasty.

My arms arrived, as well as a few other items.  I am well pleased.  If there is anything else I purchase yet, it might be a normal sized katana, which would be, for me, a bo katana.  Probably.  Though such a purchase is probably years off.  The dagger is shorter than I thought it would be, and yet quite meaty.  It is as good a high-choked war hammer as it is a cutting weapon or sword locking arm.  And she looks good.  Looks are a part of it.

Yeah, bedtime, again.  I don't mind.  I pushed a bit much.  I will rest until I am rested, I guess.  Good night.

Yeah? Yeah.

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Still ticklishly foolishly tired, a bit sore, and stiff here and there.  I went there, stepped over the line, and kept going until I remembered as close to the infinite as a creature of flesh can.  Chose against that path again... that is closed to me, as a lifestyle, now.  At least I know I can visit if need be.  Love can require that, for many reasons, but as moments not as whole truths.  Women can't live there, men just have to do what it takes, sometimes.

My neighbor stopped in last night.  He wanted to see the new cool tools.  He seemed pleased.  I told him of my hangup, and that I was just too tired to quite do even that one step, quite yet.  He tinkered with one part, and got it off easily.  Suggested, if I had a plumbers wrench he would get that last part off.  I only had to move empty boxes, and was well worth it.  He took the drain assembly off.  As such, I will go to town and figure this out for final today.  I think I just need a black pvc 1 1/2" female to female or female to straight line connector.  Whichever they might have.  I'll grab more teflon tape (plumber's tape), I know I have it, but not where.  I won't want to be held back by that... unless I find some on the way out the door.

Yeah, just a touch of help at just the right time and I am sort of back on track.  I won't do much more, but if I can get this arranged, then working, I will start doing small loads of laundry.  Two things to help with laundry... two? three I mean... are in the basket.  For larger loads of woolens, silks, and some synthetics, if I do larger batches air drying some in the dryer and hanging some would split the difference.  As well, I have seen those devices they use to help fold clothes faster.  Some things I want are more difficult.  But I have been slowly creating systems and purchasing devices that make my wishes easier to work.  With this, I can fold all my t-shirts, quickly and neatly.  I am slow and not good at it by hand.  And, even if the hanger is only good for socks, that is a very handy thing.  Then I will be less intimidated by doing a large batch of various socks.  Wool or compression or silk or synth liners...  I have a lot of socks and they don't take to heat well, or even dry well even on fluff.

I probably won't have those in until next month.  And, other than, perhaps, getting the washer online and functioning, then using it and the dryer, I won't be doing a lot of other work for the rest of this week.  I do have trash, and I think recycling, to get out this morning.  And I will do that, plus keep up on the cave otherwise.  But not much more, not until I have rested up a bit.  Even so, it is wonderful to walk around in a much cleaner and becoming neater cave... home.  It eases a body exhausted by making it so.  Once I get there, I need to try to find help it keeping it that way.  Ugh.

Later.

Nothing fancy.

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I can't remember when I woke.  And while I have very lightly tinkered, and gotten a shower in, I haven't done much.  Resting, mostly.  More rest is needed than what I can do in a short space.  Though, walking around the house from time to time, to see the appliances in place and mostly set up, to see the clean open spaces, and to plot my next moves, and imagine more, that has been my day.

It snowed last night.  I think last night.  In any case I was hoping the sun would take care of it.  That is just what happened.  My hope was a weak one.  Hoping for something that is unlikely, or seems as if it would be unlikely, is... just hope.  Sometimes it works out, as it has.  I simply wasn't sure I could have gotten out and worked on the driveway.  I am done, shot, zapped, sapped, tired, sore, and rough.

I will stay up until mid-evening.  I would like to get the trash out, then to the curb.  Recycling this week too I think.  Not much more will be done.  I won't get to the drain pipe today.  I will get to it when I can.  Rest is terribly needed.  I have done what I could.  With all of my normal clothes washed and up I have bought some time before the washing machine is truly needed.  I doubt if I will be to it even by the middle of the week.  I really need rest, away from heavy work.  Though I will attempt to stabilize sleep.

I do need new tube fluorescent bulbs for the kitchen.  I'm still not sure which are best, though full spectrum might be good, for winter.  I haven't figured out the markings on fluorescents though.  I probably should take one in to town with me.  I really don't like this sort of lighting just for that reason.  I'm not even sure if there are codes that are easily recognizable, like the length x diameter or circumference, then of course there are the various brightnesses or "temperatures" or such.  You know, I may look that up, to see if that has been standardized, and perhaps which bulbs are more preferred per application?  There might be something, if the subjective always plays a roll.  I like to try the various things out myself, but they can sometimes have too many variables for me to reasonably afford to try them all, or at least quickly.

Hmm?  Oh, right, rambling.  Later.  Or good night.  I am not sure I'll be back on yet tonight.  Sleep well if not, I am pretty sure I will.

The future.

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While I can't forget the past I can and have moved on.  Leaving behind what needs to be left, taking and cleaning, as much as that is possible, what is worth keeping.  Life and love are dirty things.  Dealing with hunger, not too much feeding, not to little, of all appetites, is the better of ways, the more sure of ways.  All other paths have prices which lead to excesses.  And, yet, even well timed and managed hungers... lead to dark things and places, even when that is right.  A first child, and witnessing it, changes everything.

On my mind.  The last set from looking through the door to a part of life most don't even know exists.  Remembering how love was, why it was what it was, and some other things.  As that door is remembered, and relinquished for the most part, further and, to a degree new, understandings are presented.  Yes, as I have worked, and now as I rest, she clouds my thoughts and perhaps I seed her will.  Difficult to know, but I think so.  She is afraid, but then, who isn't.  Better to be with one who knows enough to honestly fear than to be with a heedless fool who will be in over his depth in short order.  Just admit that from the start and... take a breath when possible, take a nap when needed, and do what you can when and how you may, together or alone as it must be.

Yeah, she is on my mind in ways I know and new ways.  I'm just pleased she is just as terrified as I am.  It tickles my heart to be in trepidation in unison.  Yes, a bunch of songs just, sort of, hit it.  There might be an order.  They might be in some order.  But I don't claim they are in the right order or any such.  It's... in there.  Look or don't, as you please.  Ugh, but women do it to me.

Oh, well... with it comes more.

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I realize what I am and why things went the way they did.

Normal pain time.

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It has taken three sleep cycles, I think, to come back down from some strange physical high.  A high in which I couldn't really feel pain well, or rightly.  I don't think that is a danger, at all.  It's just, for so very long I have been unable to achieve that.  I doubt if, with the heart, I can maintain it.  But that is, as I remember it, for myself, the sweet-spot of physical manipulation to get into... a sort of fitness most will never know.  That is the door.  Beyond that door there be dragons.  Go beyond, and live there.  But it isn't just physical.  It is mental and spiritual.  It is dangerous too.  For many it is a place to escape God, and anything else that isn't simple, physical.  Though some do maintain a relationship with God, it's more difficult to live how God wants it.  I remember this door.  I never thought I would see it again.

Having stepped back and down, and then rested a bit, slept more, I am beginning to be able to feel simple physical pains in the real world again.  I am satisfied with that.  I have had doctors suggest that I don't need to carry on as I was.  They have no clue what they are discussing.  I am not close to what I was.  Not of mind or body.  I may be well above my station due to condition, but that still isn't the same.  And that is at this point, my momentary high point since being ill.  I am just now looking at the entrance to that other place and I know I can't ever go back there.  They simply have no understanding.  I do, now, finally, again.

That I am seeing this, though, means... there is more room for Alaska.  It is more possible.  I will keep doing as I am doing.  Packing, cleaning, sorting, tossing, storing, then doing it again and again until I have what I want to take with.  Kits kept in storage, on either side of my range... just what I need for a couple of weeks if all else fails, but hunting and fishing for much of my food.  Resting up when able and needed, hunting and fishing and handling that food when I must.  No rent, plumbing problems, neighbor issues, and thieves would have to take it off my back... if there are probably some who would.  Though meth-heads and such won't be quite as common.  Even living near mostly decent folk, a lone lion can't cover all his range all of the time, especially an older one.

Yeah, today it is beginning to hurt.  Another dose of painpills and more of a restful day.  I may well attempt to remove the washing machine drain pipe, get a better look, but I am all but certain what I have won't do.  Perhaps if I was willing to tear out the drywall, if even then only maybe.  Then again, if not, the fix should be simple enough... just a female connect to the wall connect and a female to the male for the rest of the black pvc system.  Even if a little piping is needed, I have more than enough.  But, either way, not today... other than to take the thing apart and see how I can rig it otherwise.  Monday, maybe Tuesday, and I'll finish that up... whenever I can motate without having to hesitate.  Later.

I am keeping at it.

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I really don't feel like it.  But then who does, or when do I?  It's not about that.

I got the floor "dried off".  Really, it was clean water, no soap, the clothes weren't all that dirty, at all, just water.  It was sitting in a small part of the floor.  Pooled.  Definitely not a flat or even floor.  Doesn't really show, and in this case was a boon.  Keeping the mop and mop caddie ultra clean means a bit of hot water, in situations like this, and I'm right to it.  The hot water will keep the mop cleaner, and will allow the mop to absorb when dry.  And, once mostly dry, and just doing a last run with a hot mop, it means the floor will dry fast.  That all done, the caddie and mop have been cleaned out and put up to dry themselves.

When it is dry I will get in and figure out the drain.  Today, tomorrow, soon.  I got a message from my phone company.  It suggested I am either way ahead or way behind on my bill.  I have been meaning to quit them anyway.  I'll keep my mother on, but that's it, whichever way it goes.  I have that on automatic pay, but they seem to force my bank to stop the payments sometimes.  I'm just not sure.  If I had some serious money I would go after not just the companies, but the banks that do their bidding and cause problems.  Even if that isn't the case, it has been the case before.  I tried to call my mother, and some others, but I don't seem to be able to talk.  So... I'm guessing I am probably in arrears.  If I am ahead and they have been screwing with my phone?  Then again, like I said, I think I am going to end my phone service with them... for myself.

Oh, and I waxed the top of my stove right off the bat, before it's first stove-top use.  Just get it ready.  There is special stuff just for it, a type of wax.  Or so they say.  But it sure reminds me of car wax.  I had it from my old stove.  When I used the oven, there was some smoke in there.  I looked for anything that might be left in, but I didn't see anything, and it mostly cleared off after a bit.  I really didn't like that, and I still wonder if there was something in there that was supposed to be removed.

Oh well.  I do think I am pretty much done for the day.  My heart is tired.  It gets like this sometimes.  Not always because of work, it just happens.  Given it's condition I really can't complain if, after such use, it has a minor complaint.  Later or... maybe good night.

Yeah, the dryer too.

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Not bad.  A lot of bending and flexing to get this one.  the flexible exhaust hose simply did not want to go onto the exit pipe, to the outside.  This and that, a mistake, a bit of cutting, and more tinkering then it finally went into place.  I think.  Yeah, I tightened the screw band on and it seems to have held?  Getting the flex hose onto the dryer outlet itself was simple.  The three cord was a breeze.  I plugged it in, put the clothes in on more dry, fluff, and... I'll know before long.

There is water on the floor in there, from running the washing machine with the cracked drain pipe.  I wanted to make sure it worked, and that they hadn't jiggabooed it or such.  So just a bit of mopping, then a very hot rinse, and that should be that.  But it does mean I won't be messing with the drain until that dries.  Well, it means I could do it a bit later, but I am using it as an excuse to push it off until "tomorrow"... whenever that turns out to be, and probably not in the bright and early, for whatever that even means as my schedule sits.

Oh, and I did run rolls through the oven.  I was curious.  I might run some cinnamon buns through.  Just... because.  I never use those pop-rolls, bought them just for this actually.  Yeah... cinnamon rolls while I rest for the remainder of the day.  Perhaps a shower yet today.  I'd love to set up dishes, but I don't want anything getting in the way of getting the laundry room back into operation.  So those will just have to wait.  If I open up the drain and this stuff doesn't work, I'll have to plug that up with a cloth or something...  Yeah, vent gasses can be deadly... plus they just stink for those of us who don't die well.

Later.

Every single syllable?

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Well, maybe not.  The power cord tensioner set and the anti-tip system are not installed.  I don't know about the tensioner on the previous stove, but the anti-tip device was not installed.  Yeah, yeah, I'll keep the stuff just in case or for the next owners.  No, it didn't just whiz-bang as I thought it would.  An error code, first thing, of course.  I went through the drill.  Push every button, and more than once, just not in groups.  Just... trust me on the latter part.  Don't.  I didn't.  Then flipping the potential breakers.  Finally I just unplugged and plugged it back in.  Cha-ching.  I then set the clock, checked the light, looked it over.  The surface burners were working already, so I didn't check them again.  Four burners, one is multi-sized... or two of them... plus a warming spot.  The oven is HUGE, and the glass on it is... nearly the whole door!  I love that.  I hadn't really noticed in the store, with so much going on.  Done!  I might even cook something... or later.  A salad though.

I am... feeling okay.  Or feeling nothing?  I am not sure which and it doesn't seem to matter.  The next project will be the dryer.  I have to connect the back exhaust hose and the power cord, then put it where I want and where it will fit.  Oh, and I will dry the clothes I "washed"  I didn't use any soap, so I'll just fluff them dry.  I usually don't heat dry things, or not much, not often, and rarely from start to stop.  Then, either yet "today", or sometime tomorrow, I'll begin tinkering with the drain for the washer.  If it all goes together, I will begin washing the special items that need cold, delicate, and/or wool settings.  One thing down, two to go.

Hey, what do you know, my first appliance install works, mostly.  It's little, but in the big dark world, alone and for the first time, living on the brink of death in the mouth of exhaustion, it's... something.  Yes, something to eat.  Salad, cheese, and salami, a glass of milk or tea, or both.  I have been cutting down on fluids, using a quart instead of half gallon drinking glass... helps, a bit.  Later.