Normal pain time.

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It has taken three sleep cycles, I think, to come back down from some strange physical high.  A high in which I couldn't really feel pain well, or rightly.  I don't think that is a danger, at all.  It's just, for so very long I have been unable to achieve that.  I doubt if, with the heart, I can maintain it.  But that is, as I remember it, for myself, the sweet-spot of physical manipulation to get into... a sort of fitness most will never know.  That is the door.  Beyond that door there be dragons.  Go beyond, and live there.  But it isn't just physical.  It is mental and spiritual.  It is dangerous too.  For many it is a place to escape God, and anything else that isn't simple, physical.  Though some do maintain a relationship with God, it's more difficult to live how God wants it.  I remember this door.  I never thought I would see it again.

Having stepped back and down, and then rested a bit, slept more, I am beginning to be able to feel simple physical pains in the real world again.  I am satisfied with that.  I have had doctors suggest that I don't need to carry on as I was.  They have no clue what they are discussing.  I am not close to what I was.  Not of mind or body.  I may be well above my station due to condition, but that still isn't the same.  And that is at this point, my momentary high point since being ill.  I am just now looking at the entrance to that other place and I know I can't ever go back there.  They simply have no understanding.  I do, now, finally, again.

That I am seeing this, though, means... there is more room for Alaska.  It is more possible.  I will keep doing as I am doing.  Packing, cleaning, sorting, tossing, storing, then doing it again and again until I have what I want to take with.  Kits kept in storage, on either side of my range... just what I need for a couple of weeks if all else fails, but hunting and fishing for much of my food.  Resting up when able and needed, hunting and fishing and handling that food when I must.  No rent, plumbing problems, neighbor issues, and thieves would have to take it off my back... if there are probably some who would.  Though meth-heads and such won't be quite as common.  Even living near mostly decent folk, a lone lion can't cover all his range all of the time, especially an older one.

Yeah, today it is beginning to hurt.  Another dose of painpills and more of a restful day.  I may well attempt to remove the washing machine drain pipe, get a better look, but I am all but certain what I have won't do.  Perhaps if I was willing to tear out the drywall, if even then only maybe.  Then again, if not, the fix should be simple enough... just a female connect to the wall connect and a female to the male for the rest of the black pvc system.  Even if a little piping is needed, I have more than enough.  But, either way, not today... other than to take the thing apart and see how I can rig it otherwise.  Monday, maybe Tuesday, and I'll finish that up... whenever I can motate without having to hesitate.  Later.