Nothing done and keep missing meds.

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Okay, not nothing.  And I got back on meds after missing two days.  Still, nowhere close to even the portion planned.  So very tired.  Sometimes missing medicine is the problem, sometimes it is a symptom, sometimes it is the short term solution.  I can't be certain if I suspect it is a symptom.  Just too tired.

I'll keep the plan in play.  If I get started right away I might get to a shower and laundry.  The place is looking better, a lot better.  I have hit a nice chunk and had help.  I really want to dig in, will, soon if not today.  The work wears me out more than I would have thought.  I have been idle too long.  Pacing?  I don't think there is any practical pacing.  It comes down to working as fast as I can, getting as much done as possible, then hoping to get back to it before I bury back to worse than before.

My mom called.  It is supposed to drop to negative 45° to 55° F.  It is so cold the place she works very occasionally can't keep the place warm.  Her boss told her to dress warmer.  She was already on that... she's an Iowa girl, not a fool modern airhead.  She sounded well.  Called while I was asleep, but I expected the call so had my phone on and by the bed.  Fine, from now on, when I think so, I will keep it in the receiving mode.

I'll get a fatted coffee after lighting the grill.  Last I saw, it was 20, give or take five, with five to ten mph winds from the wnw... mostly west by far?  If memory serves.  The temp can be low if there is a breeze, usually.  I wonder if some breezes are too moist to facilitate boosting the fire?  I can't really tell, probably just seems cooler... moist wind.  I'd have to do scientific inquiry to find for certain.

The problem is, I am not motivated as it wouldn't matter.  Even knowing lighting the grill would be more difficult at a particular time would not dissuade my actions.  Nor have I found a way to improve the lighting process, save checking it more frequently and restarting it every ten, instead of fifteen minutes, until it starts.  It needs at least ten minutes.  Bleh.

Since I'll be out, I'll empty the ducks' water.  It seems to be freezing hard the last few days even if not so cold  (20° F isn't bad, if perhaps it is dipping hard at odd times?).  I'd best feed the girls, clear their litter, check their water... and perhaps chase them and maul them a bit.  Oh, they love it.  If I don't maraud them often enough they take it personal.

Blood sugar was 226 at waking.  It has, more so than expected, been staying lower after ending the last fast.  The next fast will begin Thursday or Friday.  It might bring it down better and more permanently again, or the one to follow will.  Or the one after that.  Every two weeks, three days fasting followed by several days of fat fasting.  It works if I do it right, well, conscientiously.

Let me see... clean the bathroom, light the grill, empty the ducks' water bins, make a fatted tea, then fold clothes while I break with a movie?  Seems reasonable.  Oh, bring the trash bin back while out there.  Later.

It had to be an error.

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After the 203 fasting test, I had a meal.  A fatted tea, with ketone crystals and electrolytes, nothing else added to the tea and cream.  The actual meal was the last burger... the veggies were too mushy.  An hour later the tester read 272.  That was a crazy jump.  Impossible considering what I ate, or so I thought.

Still wanting, I had a chia seed breakfast as well.  Oh, yes, this is the same seeds used on chia pets, for those who remember.  I actually do remember wondering if they were edible.  Being a giant truly means, more so while still growing, that I was always hungry.  ALWAYS.  Anyway, an hour after that, two hours after my other draw, and blood sugar was down to 158.  Yeah, no.  I'm calling the 272 read a flaw.

Oh, right, I'll start working now that I am fed and awake.  The bathroom first.  I really want the shower first.  Then some sorting, and folding any time I need a break, as able.  While I hope to have clothes folded and baskets ready, I don't expect washing to begin tonight.  As well, two loads a day, making sure I don't get backed up on folding again.  I figure I have six loads, three of them smaller custom loads, whites, woolens, and synthetics.  Maybe two medium synths, actually.  Bleh.

If I get the shower, I will set some dishes to soak.  As with laundry, just small manageable loads.  Bleh.  I'll be sorting and straightening as well.  More heat though.  I am cold tonight, and that won't do.  Steaks are thawed.  I'll have one later, cooking it more carefully.  My problem with steak might be overcooking.  Later.

Up really late.

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Late getting to sleep, even later waking.  The bit of effort the last few days simply had a price.  The ducks were completely out of food, and water was frozen.  It wasn't solid, so...  They had water available, by the looks, until about this afternoon, if food was probably gone earlier, if I had to guess.  An half day fast is good, rarely.

The place is roughly shaping up.  I'll do more tonight, and try to really get standard chores in with it.  Folding laundry so I can start washing again, cleaning the bathroom to get a shower and shave, and setting up the trash bins now that I have bags back in supply.  One of the smaller baskets needs washed... I'll get that in the bathroom and catch it with that.  Not all of that tonight.

The chore goal is folding laundry on breaks from other work and cleaning the bathroom.  As well, more sorting of boxes and clearing in the living room and kitchen.  If I get those done, then a shower or start on washing laundry.  I doubt if both are possible.  Though who knows.

Odd, but the body is feeling warmer.  Mostly.  Work helps, but so does opening space for easier air flow.  Fasting blood sugar was 203... not great but better than yesterday.  To be honest, I think it is higher from not eating enough.  The days I eat well the sugar reading is lower.  It is simply difficult to eat enough.

Later.

Not what was planned.

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Sidetracked, in a good way.  It started with collecting trash.  Which led to picking up a few areas.  Then sorting through a few boxes.  It just snowballed.  The more I do, the more it seems there is to do.  Oh, I best actually get the trash out.  As generous as our trash bins are, mine is full, nearly.  I have two more bags, and another for cat litter if it won't fit in the other bags.  Ugh.

Cabbage, broccoli, and burger put into patties, then all steamed together, at various lengths.  Cabbage took the longest by far, broccoli just a few minutes.  Quite good.  Cheese on the patties, butter on the veggies.  Quite good, far better than it might sound... especially when eating for life is taken to heart.

My after meal blood draws are staying around 180, give or take five points.  The last middle before meal draws was yesterday and was 166 or so.  I'm almost certain it is lower, but I keep missing taking it far enough after a meal.  Fasting, this morning, was 226.  I'll get better.

I am trying to take advantage of the help I am getting on housework.  Digging in solo adds both to completion and raises the spirits of the helper.  Yeah, that makes a difference.  It certainly raises my spirits as well.  It is almost amazing how much is done in such a short time.

I actually have more help arriving soon.  Strange how these things work out.  Later, or more likely good night.  How about another, last, draw.  Not quite before meal, two hours out, which is merely at the beginning of the down slope after meals... usually.  Hmm, 155 will do nicely.  Longer would get ten to twenty points lower, or more.  Good deal.  Oh, and trash is out, by the magic of the blogosphere, in case you were worried.  Good night.

Double double barrels.

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For the best and worst of the night and waking that is, yes.

Such plush dreams, or a long dream?  I am all but certain it was several dreams.  Holding my favorite shape of the female form, her derriere.  The best of it was double barreled, holding both cheeks.  Why?  Silly goose, take a gander.  I... must have dreamed of every time I did so.

Not all had been lovers.  Believe or else, but I have had more women friends than lovers, who I could even be cheeky with.  Looking back, perhaps friendship wasn't their aim?  As it went the dreams were extended.  I woke in one of the best moods known to man.

Then, immediately upon waking, I got a bloody nose.  If you didn't guess it, gushers, out of both barrels.  Well worth it, if that is the price.  Nothing so trivial will dissuade the great mood.  So, here I sit, ponder the nature of women, looking like a nerd.  What a fantastic life I have lived.  I might not have known all women, but I... wasn't deprived.

Yesterday was quite the day!  A friend called.  Stuck.  Woke me.  I got out there and... promptly got stuck.  He called around until he got someone else on the horn.  Of course, he only had a 4x4 too, so would just have gotten stuck.  He called someone with a tractor, willing to pull two fools out.  All fun and games, since blood or death were spared... at least directly?  Not sure if this crazy bloody nose is from exertion or the dreams?  Both?

While out there, a treat was offered.  It seemed to satisfy any unhappiness surrounding having been dragged out of a restful weekend, into cold and effort.  If you must beg, try to have something interesting, tasty, or useful, on offer.  As the nearly dead, who must often beg service, I have learned a thing or two.

After, the friend and I went out for more target practice.  We had a blast.  I left the firearms with him to clean.  Not being lazy, I just want him to become familiar with what he shoots.  One more time on those, then we will take turns cleaning.  Plus, I have to find my cleaning kit.

After that, we tore into the living room and hit a bit in the kitchen.  Mostly boxes and a bit of sorting.  Quite a start.  It should give me a running start at hitting more soon.  I'd like to set up some dishes today, and clean a few areas in the kitchen and bathroom.  Then do folding.  If folding is finished, I will start loads of laundry.  We will see.  Later.

Bittersweet

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Haunting?  Memory?  Never enough.  Then or now.

Bothersome.

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Troubles are my joys, often.  Can't complain.

Up late.

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Later and later.  Ducks first thing.  Two bins of water and one cup of food.  Water hasn't been freezing, so I just leave it out.

Blood sugar was 185 fasting, 163 after my first meal.  I am surprised with the lower numbers.  In the past it has taken several fasting episodes to begin lowering blood sugar.  Not always, but when I am starting out, up.  It's been a while since I fasted.  Further, I haven't been intermittent fasting, and I have been eating relatively heavily, if really hitting keto.

It takes time to figure keto, especially with the side issue of diabetes.  For one thing, with type two diabetes or mine, there is no fiber discount.  I have to look purely at carbs, save against certain veggies.  Oddly, I can have fast food... more so if I hit fattier foods, like a triple patty burger.  Offsets, if nothing sugared like soda.  And some carbs really are more allowable, if the reasons don't track logically always.

I grilled drumsticks last night but wasn't happy with them.  I have hamburger thawed, but don't know what to fix.  I could fry it, using the sous vide on cabbage and carrots first.  Then roll them into a simple meal... not a cabbage roll, just a meat entree with veggie sides.  I'd have to either find the foodsaver or just sack the cabbage in ziplocs.  I am curious to see how vegetables do with that device.  And I need food.  It's strange, but the more keto I eat, the better my blood sugar... up to some point.

A shower would be good.  A shave.  Some cleaning and laundry.  As well, finding my gun cleaning kit and getting a few firearms ready to shoot.  Yeah.  Later.

When I am a good... boy?

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Or good enough?  Is it from an incel, or near incel (oh, you might not be modern term savvy, involuntary celibate), who loves living vicariously, sees the potential?  Is it a woman, women, who... well... dream, hope... remember?  Some mix?  I don't know.  I only know, for whatever reason(s), when I hit the right notes to satisfy... whomever(s), I 'get sent rewards'.  Usually older pieces, with specific or general meanings, or new meanings which make sense with what I recently put out.

So it is.  I really enjoy this sort of thing.  I am certain there is feminine.  Just...  Yeah.  In any case, I have won the prizes.  Not all will be shared.  Some is for my eyes only.  You've seen the vids I won't be sharing previously.  It's, just, would confuse things for you.  No, mine.

Just... something...

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On my mind, mostly.  No haunt, probably.  With a grin and grain.  Of truth.

Awake, very roughly.

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Among other things, I am cold.  The last two days, no matter how high I set the furnace or how warmly I dress.  I do have the correct blanket rigging to sleep warmly.  I added my middling wool blanket as a top layer.  It's a symptom of fasting.  Just understand that.

Blood sugar got to 141 as a final read last night.  At 156 for a fasting read, it is okay.  I am having a fatted tea to break my fast, while soaking chia seed for a more substantial breakfast.  I am cutting how much I soak to about two teaspoons, and only a third of a cup of nuts.  It's rather filling.

As to my fast?  It is changing rather than ending.  I had forgotten the notion, but instead of ending my fast it is becoming a fat fast.  I am about halving my calories, but aiming for 90 % fat content.  I don't know if this has any real effect.  I guess I'll find out. I can't say I am hungry, if I can admit to wanting to eat.  I think?  Not eating, while well awake, is... weird.

No time to cook meat.  A breakfast, a shower and shave shave, and tending critters.  If I can get going.  It looks like either a frost, or bit of snow, hit last night.  Too little to do anything about though.  If it's slick, perhaps salting.  Oh, best get medicine.  I'm back on track with it, would like to keep it that way.

Have a good morning.

Bedtime.

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Early tonight.  I may see about putting water out, if it isn't too cold.  I'm not sure the ducks will use it.  But if it won't freeze...  It's the best I can do.  I'll water them when I wake anyway.  I just want them to have water earlier.  I doubt if they need food, but I'll check it too.

Blood sugar has been drifting from as low as 141 to 156 currently.  I haven't checked bp in a while.  Maybe tomorrow.  I will be ending my fast tomorrow.  Two days is short, but I don't want to drive while fasting, at least not someone else's vehicle and on a third day of fasting.  It would probably be fine, I just don't risk other people or their gear.  Meat is thawing, though if it isn't ready, or there isn't time, I have other options.

Good night.

A whiff on the cold winter wind.

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Is she... following me?  Leading?  Am I leading from behind?

Late, better.

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Up at 17:00.  Pretty late, even with the extended bed time.  A shower and shave shortly.  Oh, I won't need to rewash all the clothes.  The musty scent was transferred from a washcloth which had gotten forgotten and received that odor.  IT will be washed after soaking it in vinegar and soap for a day, perhaps microwaving it.  Hmm?  One actually very good use for microwaves... moisten something which has gone moldy, clean it off and out, then nuke it for thirty seconds to a minute.  Also works well on kitchen sponges.  Not sure about loofahs, natural or not.

A blood test right out of the gate, and a pot of tea set.  At 168 a gooder fasting blood read.  My first quart of plain tea down.  About to hit an a.c. vinegar ketonic, then an electrolyte water mix, then a sweetened tea.  I will be trying a new sweetener tonight, swerve probably.  The trick might be less finding the, right sweetener, but mixing, changing, which is used.  Sucradrops works, I suspect, until some variable dose is hit.  How much is in my system, what else was eaten and the order of consumption, all sorts of variables are in play.  I am hoping my theory and practices pan out.  Gotta keep at it.

An interesting dream.  If so, it would be a step back at madness, with madness, if toward sanity.  I doubt it.  I think men in America have surrendered.  Who knows.  I liked it anyway.

Later.

Oh well, tomorrow.

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The ducks were tended.  I stayed awake, purposefully, with that in mind.  The girls were fed as well.  The final blood draw read 137.  I tried a monkfruit mix, as the sweetener the last time.  It isn't very sweet.  I wasn't willing to use more, I was willing to simply accept.  That is more the key to eating right, that and learning what your body needs.

There is tomorrow, always until only.  Though then everyone ends up home, and yesterday.  I have gone through hunger, if I think the jump in blood sugar, or really what caused it, was the problem?  Perhaps both... caused hunger.  A spike, for any reason, leads to hunger.  I am amazed when people start hitting diabetes they don't seriously dig in, change their diet.  Then again I beat it several times before, but came right back to it.  To be fair, I had an untreated bad heart, lose focus badly even now that it is treated.  Back then I was always gone.  Ugh.

Good night.

Problems.

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The first?  I am cold, frigid.  I turned the furnace to 72, 74, now 76.  No help.  I haven't gotten to work, not sure I can.

I had my sweetened tea.  Sometimes it goes well, sometimes not.  This time not.  My blood sugar hit 250.  It is 147 two hours later.  I will experiment with some of the other sweeteners.  I keep try stevia, but beside not liking it... it isn't (to my tastes) sweet, and it has the worst elements of a black licorice aftertaste (I like black licorice, just not the derived bitter aspects)... it doesn't seem to do any better as to blood sugar.  It may be that any sweetener will have this effect from time to time.

My next sip will be water with electrolytes.  I have heard by one of my sources that bone broth  isn't good for fasting, the other says it's okay.  Both where wrong on other things.  I'll just have to try it experimentally.  It's not that my sources are... wrong.  They advise based on their experience.  Each of us seems to be quite different.

As well as cold, I am still exhausted.  I am hoping, perhaps, to get somethings done.  If not, tomorrow.  Driving again Wednesday.  I really am hoping to get a second vehicle in the next year, if I can get SS back.  Political thieves.  May Trump blast out the American haters.  Just wishful thinking, but there it is.  Destroy the fed unions.

Later.

A few items.

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Ducks were checked, if rather late.  Thankfully I set out two water bins yesterday.  They remained thawed, and with plenty of water.  They did need food, eating better.  All good.  I'll bet they will really dig in if they begin laying.  Oh, the other day... when I suggested rain would be good?  How about holding off on rain until it stops freezing?  Thank you... teh management.  Yeah, we got rain and it's a rough ice sheet back there.

I've had my apple cider vinegar ketonic and a quart of my first half gallon of straight tea.  The ketonic helps with the volume of fluid intake.  Blood sugar at 189 is down fifty points exactly from fasting waking testing.  I hope it keeps going down, but it'll do it's own thing until Thursday or Friday.  I am hoping to make broth by fast end.  A good first easy meal, though possibly a boost during the fast.

I am hoping to hit the bathroom, shower and shave, then set up dishes... maybe start laundry.  The laundry I had meant to fold needs to be rewashed.  Bleh.  With vinegar.  I left a load in too long and, well... *sigh*  I'll do what I can.  Later.

Up late, moving slow.

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I think bedtime was after 6:00.  I woke at 13:30, had to push out.  I woke three times before but couldn't stay awake.  Dreams?  I suspect, lost though.  I should get going.  A couple of video thoughts though.

The darkness and light, always blue.

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Ask and you shall receive?

What a strange night.

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I could tell you, but best to show you, or... what I dare.

All were given some.  There are patterns.  Shiva.  Sun.  Nimrod.  Timekiller, keeper if you must, will.  Oh, and okay.