Fast, brutal.

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Blood sugar was down to 142 several hours after dinner.  Very good, but too fast.  A major headache, feeling green, and not doing well.  I didn't take large doses.  Keto, it... if you have been on it for months, years really, you go right back to it.  I did, but the bod wasn't prepared.  No time to adjust.

I just took a carb chewable and a pile of aspirin.  Time will tell.  Rough.

I grilled meats for the week.  Meat isn't all that tasty.  Winter culls?  Foreign?  Old?  The roasts look wrong.  The fat looks hard, brittle, and cracks.  It doesn't look like natural fat.  And there is so little of it.  It looks marbled, but isn't by taste.  I am not sure what is wrong with it, but this isn't good beef.  I think they are replacing chuck with round or leg.  I can't find real chuck, or good chuck?

A load of laundry went through.  I found rubber gloves for dealing with the tub.  I did several small tasks in spite of feeling so awful.  Burning up too.  I am ready for a sink bath tomorrow.  Just... not today.  Several in a row would be good, if possible.  So rough.

It looks like blogger has dumped spellchecker.  It was pretty bad to be honest, often prefering British or other foreign spellings.  As well, it looks like youtube is yanking PS4's.  It keeps wanting me to switch browsers.  As best as I can tell, that isn't possible with playstations.  Oh, and someone was on my playstation account.  I had to redo the password, log off, and restart, to get it to work for me.  Nasty out there.

Anyway...  :p

just... because...

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Some of these have been vexing me for a long time now.  The rest?  Longer.

Back to keto.

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In part a response to the drop in blood sugar, in part an attempt to break out of winter's grasp, I spent a week on the wild side.  No booze, not sure my body can handle that stuff anymore.  Beef and beans by pounds, spaghetti or pasghetti as I prefer... two rounds, and mac and cheese... with tuna in the last half, as examples.  Big meals!

Oddly, it didn't do... anything... except drive blood sugar to 400.  Fasting, premeal, and postmeal, insulin in mega doses, always 400 give or take ten.  Officially switched yesterday?  Yes, but only had one carby meal the day before.  Blood sugar is already down to 250 fasting.  That will be the high.  Now to see how fast it can be brought down, hopefully without death or coma.  Hmm, I ought to check about more carb pills.

Nothing done yesterday.  I think a cold front moved in?  I fell, hard.  I did a few tasks.  A load of laundry through, finally again keeping up on cat litter, trying to brush the teeth three times a day... yea, I... try.  Today I sorted clothes and brushed first thing.  That is fairly usual.  It is later brushing I often miss... bedtime is the most common miss as I just plunge crash.

Medicine?  Almost perfect.  I had thought I had missed half.  A closer check shows I only missed two evenings in the last nine days.  Not perfect, much better than thought.  Memory gets so wonky.  As to insulin... I thought I had been missing that, often, too... but the numbers suggest, to me from my experience, that I have been doing well.  But, Doomster, 400?  Yeah, but three to four pounds of high carb food per day, for a week?  Not bad, actually.  I get to 400 in a month otherwise (when unable to three day fast every or every other week, then I can keep get to 130 fasting... probably lower if I could continue... a tough racket).  Ugh.

I have everything set for a sink bath, soaps, shampoo, conditioner, a washcloth... oh, best get a towel and body oil.  Clean clothes ready too.  Then another load of laundry.  Another possible group of calls about representation.  Keeping the phone close, in case I receive a call.  About to feed and water the ducks.  Their water is freezing every night again, too hard for them to break through.  I try to water them twice a day when it's like that.

Ugh.

Calls and more.

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I called yesterday.  Early afternoon is too late.  So, today, again.  This time much earlier, but not too early.  One number was in D.C., the other local... by time.  The first says I make too much, the other... at first suggested they didn't help.  When I suggested that the SSA sent me their number, she decided they had someone who might help but that she was at lunch.  I left a message.  I will call Thursday if I hear nothing between now and then.  I will attempt to call a Disabled Vets rep tomorrow.

Now, the more.  The bathtub is backed up.  All other drains are fine.  So... to figure that out.  As well, the toilet is not filling as quickly as it should.  A new float gadget or can the old one be cleared?  Gritty, hard, water hereabouts.  Ugh... all at once it seems.  I need a bath.  May just do a sink bath.  Depending on what I can do with the drain snake and chems.

Moving so slowly.  Tired.  Confused.  Restarting medicine and eating again, if wrongly.  Ugh.  I'll...  get there.

Between medication and late winter...

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I am dragging bottom, if nearing buoyancy.  Medicine has been parttime, if getting better.  It is almost every dose, every day.  Insulin is back on with the slow, once daily, stuff.  The other stuff is forgotten with small meals.  And it isn't working well, but because of the food I have been eating.

Finally, a skillet of beans, if with burger.  So hungry, hadn't been eating almost at all.  All calories were from fatted drinks.  And little of that for several weeks... a month?  I needed real food.  Beef, beans, cheese, milk, and warmed crusted bread that just drank butter.  Now pasghetti with meat sauce and milk.  All spicy-hot enough few others could eat it.  If I get to town, more bread and a dry Italian cheese or other as topping.

Hungry, in ways only the dead can know.

SSA sent letters.  I couldn't make heads or tails of anything.  Complex?  Bureaucratic.  But that wasn't really the problem.  I just... can't... think.  So I called the neighbor.  He took it home, looked it over, brought it back, had me fill out a portion for remittance, and explained the rest.  Some sort of semi-final legal hearing.  I need to contact a few legal orgs Monday.  All listed, with contacts, except Disabled Vets of America.  But they should be easy enough to at least call.

Still pretty beat up, haggard, definitely crawling along the killing floor.  But pushing, pulling, trying to go through, over, under, or around as possible.  Or, just... doing or not as required.  The sun is arriving earlier and staying longer!  Oh, that is a happy thing, for now.

Blood sugar, of course, is rather high.  I'll burn through hunger shortly, then get back to it.  There is a limit to even chocolate cake dosing.  So be it.

Really bungled yesterday.

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Blood sugar was 165 fasting yesterday morning, which was, as today, actually morning.  Okay.  I had a meal right away, but didn't dose.  With my second meal, I went with a double dose of the stuff.  The neighbor visited, thankfully.  I got a shower in, then went to help him with the blade assembly on the lawn tractor.  I started feeling really wonky.

Really bad weird, as if all hydraulics had been cut, even just standing was becoming... difficult.  Thinking was becoming impossible.  Was a shower enough to wipe me?  Hmm... blood sugar?  A quick test.  Blood sugar had dropped to 51!  I think it was still dropping!

A small bottle of carb pills was eaten.  I couldn't stop.  I went on into town with him.  He had a collection of little lollipops, which he doesn't eat, in his dash vents.  I asked, he allowed, so I Telly Savalas'ed four or five.  As well, we went to a pizza joint.  I NEEDED... things.  Lots of bad stuff.  Needed.  Got.

I... the rest of yesterday was recovery.  I lost taking pill meds, and much else.  But that was far too close.  I will be... a bit more cautious with dosing.  I really could have died.  Blood sugar is 187 fasting this morning.  I am surprised it wasn't higher.  I'll take it.  Sometimes it takes several days to crest, so...

Oh, and besides meats, I bought beans and bread, plus burger.  I have been jonesing for a skillet of that for a while.  All I have been feasting on lately is hunger.  Oh, and Cheddar on top.  Sour cream would be good too.  But... what I have will do.  So very hungry.  Don't get too close to my table.  The air currents from my eating might well make you part of the meal.

Sight.

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Right?  True?  It's what I see, how I understand.  Choose your own mind.

Okay, there is that.

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Vision cleared quickly.  I hadn't noticed.  But, yes.  Almost immediately after using the slow acting insulin.  Not brighter, more acute.  As for the other medicine, no effects yet.  But the stuff kicks like a mule, at least when you need to take five times a usual high dose, or more.  It is set for a month and an half, in case I can't sort it.

I did slow cook the pork shoulder.  I've already had a bite.  Just so-so.  But the notion of a hot fresh meal was tops.  I keep seeing companies offering healthy, back to basic, food lines.  Processed isn't the way.  Fresh, raw meats, whole vegetables not canned or frozen, and work plus time... anything else is on a sliding scale of worse to terrible.

Oh, I get it mind you.  I used canned veggies for my meal.  It's what I had.  I can't shop every time I want to cook, or even several times a week.  Mine is health, yours might be family, job, age.  I'm not judging, just saying.  Oh, and I noted a can of veggies slipped my usual check.  But then who would have thought they would add sugar to garbanzo beans?  Assholes!

I have been using the fast acting with meals.  The slow acting, a few hours after dosing, brought blood sugar down from 225ish to 169.  It's been going up.  Had been in the 150's in the day to 190's fasting.  The last week it went up to the 190's days and was pushing to 239 and climbing fasting.

Oh, someone... something... realized I dreamed.  The nature of the dreaming.  The tears, fury, failure.  Every song I have used to express the darkness was there, on youtube, waiting.  Usually only one or two old songs are there.  This time?  I'll... put them up in a bit.  From the third dream.  It was there before I had written anything, even privately here.  It... makes me wonder.  The Dreamer has awakened, but has stirred... something.

Hmm? Oh, right. No.

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I haven't restarted meds.  Tonight?  Absolutely.  I... once I realized I was still in err, I stopped writing, filled three biweekly medicine dispensers, took a dose, and started the slow acting insulin... with plans to use fast acting with meals.  So, yeah, I'm thinking I'm back.

Dreams.  Three.  One will get it's own post.  The other two?  If I can recall?  Here.

The first was like a youtube vid or spotinfo sort of commercial.  A moderately okay, if a bit frumpy, appearing woman fades into view.  She is set to discuss domestic care.  She begins by telling us she is a stripper, a vulnerable job.  She says, at least where she works, they support the dignity, security, sanity, and safety of the women by keeping the place clean, both on-stage and behind the scenes, in the dressing rooms and back ways.

She suggests she learned to enjoy that so much, she adopted the premise lock stock and barrel.  She goes on to discuss how to arrange cleaning gear, arrange tasks by daily, weekly, monthly, twice a year, and yearly, perhaps suggesting painting rooms as a once every three to five year sprucing.

A charming woman.  Frumpy?  Or dressed to clean?  Anyway, she did motivate me, if I can get to it.  I'd... like to try.  For now the other dream has faded.  I am beginning the writing of the third "dream".

I have a pork shoulder thawed, just.  I will be starting the grill and cooking that thing for hours and hours on low.  Fatted drinks until then.  Holy crap!  Saturday AND the new month?  I have lost... weeks?  the last dated memories were around... the twentieth?  Even if I knew locally, that didn't fit into the big picture.  I... didn't know.  Know I do, until meds clobber me... a necessary step back to move forward.  Shifting down to get up the mountain.

Later.

Oh my God.

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I don't know if you remember, or remember me discussing, my falls for weeks or even months at a time?  I would lose all consciousness and memory, not even aware within. Well, I hit that... with a change.  I was aware... if time is wonky in there, and remember.  I am not out of it yet.  Further, I have fallen off all medicine.  I knew that, but kept trying to get back on them.  Today!?!

I woke a bit ago.  I could see nothing!  Even on the darkest nights, even when sleeping in the closet at night, I could always make out my hands before my face, if very dimly.  It was such a startle.  I had to move, touch, feel, then scramble for light.  I thought, just maybe, I awoke in my dying or dead form.

I...  I wouldn't have minded, mind you.  And yet I was happy to not have it so.  Oddly, nothing has hurt for days.  The pills hurt to take.  They hurt the organs.  Life, and that which sustains it, hurts... for me.  Probably for you too, you are just able to stay busy enough you don't realize... until you get quiet downtime.  Though, who gets that these days.  Between work, play, family, friends, and tech...  I am surprised people aren't keeling over in fleet sized numbers in their forties.  You weren't designed for this.  I was, but I wasn't supposed to last.  A candle that burns twice as bright, and all.

Anyway.  Properly frightened, I... may have a chance at a very few things today.  Insulin started, meds set up and started, if I'll have to invert morning and evening pills.  Ugh.  A start.  Wow, frightened, like a rabbit.  I... haven't seen such darkness in... thirty years... the times I died and saw nothing... nothing else.

Fallen.

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Maybe in a good way?  Off meds since Tuesday.  Even when I knew I couldn't remember, sort of.  I couldn't have refilled my medicine dispenser in any case.  I would have tried if knowledge could translate to action.  How can you know what you can't remember?  I'd tell you, if I knew.  Might have to kill you though?

I'll do pills today.  And insulin.  It actually showed up on the day I was told it might be sent?  Weird.  No complaint.  Just surprised.  This time I marked the date to change them.  Yeah, otherwise I use them beyond their good use date.  So hungry too, have been since that post, even before.  I... need food.

Ah, how can all that be good?  I think it gave me a break.  Between medicines and winter, I was, am, in a bad way.  A few days off medicine seems to be opening up the cognitive.  I think the dispensers will be arranged and medicine and food will get going again.  It took the break, well, and pouring on some heat as well.  Just a bit extra.

I haven't been able to be warm in a week or more.  So cold, all bundled, it burns.  Right through double and even triple layers, of wool, cotton, and or synths, after a hot shower, hot tea or coffee going in often, with the furnace jacked.  That was on meds.  Still freezing, but awake enough to focus on all tricks.  May take another shower soon.  Food!  I need hot food, plenty of it, just not fast food.

It'll work this time.  Probably.

Warming.

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It is above zero, has to be.  Has been for a day or two.  There is still plenty of snow down.  But paths have turned into puddle-ridden ways.  All good.  I will say this has been a solid winter.  Plenty of snow, when it snowed... a bit colder than usual with fewer breaks, if not the coldest or snowiest, probably a more severe mix?  I mean, in severely cold or snowy winters we get more of whichever, but not more of both.  This winter we got more of that mix if not as extreme as either extreme.

Unusual?  Only in that every year is different.  If I saw five winters the same, then I would have some wonder.  Or if every year was worse, to the point of infrastructure breaking, or becoming like Florida, then I'd worry.  Iowa, here, everywhere I have lived, while summers don't change all that much, winters really do differ.  I remember horrible, easy, and middling winters my whole life.  I personally think some of the coldest winters were in the 1970's.  They have revised temperatures is all.  They are so busy trying to make the readings suggest what they want, they can't read real temperatures anymore.  Head up ass syndrome.  Sodomites of an extreme sort.

The cold got to me.  It broke me.  Some of it is just environmental seepage, some of it is a weakness to it.  That is getting worse each year.  Actually that makes me far more empathetic to my elders.  I know, if it hits me this way...  Then again, if they can still work...  If it weren't for what is disability I...  I wouldn't make it.  Do you know what the streets are like?  Probably not.  But for someone who can't control sleep, goes nearly comatose occasionally.  High heat, the cold, fast changes in the weather, exertion of various levels, too much, or too little food, and any combination can cause near catatonia.  Even if I could escape humans, animals would get into me.  Feed on me.  It isn't a safe world out of doors.

The warming is helping.  It would take more, for longer.  But I feel a bit better.  Ducks first thing.  A timer for the cats tending and a shower.  Then back to some work today?  Hopefully.  I almost feel alive and awake.  But I thought that when I got confused about the appointments.  No real clues, probably, but I feel better.  Kidneys and liver are only in mild pain as well.  Not sure if they, or I, am numb though.

Wow, I am fried.

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I received a call today.  Today was the day of the appointment I thought I had missed?  Apparently.  The appointment in the calendar, from last week?  Was the doctor appointment I did make.  I am so fried.  Today's appointment was cancelled.  My last a1c was in the ~6.5 range.  Today was going to be about insulin?  No reason for adjustments.

I simply got confused.  Usually I reset appointments.  That it was still there lead me to believe I had missed it, especially with nothing on the schedule for this week.  Well, good.  It means, even if I am totally lost, I didn't miss anything.  So baked.  I can only imagine what illicit drugs must do to people.

I am completely lost even so.  I have nothing close to a regular or even shifting day.  Today might be like yesterday or tomorrow or be twelve to twenty four hours off either or both.  Not sure why such severe shifts, but that is the way of it.  I have been taking medicine perfectly, somehow.  But I have to set them back up today, or I will mess up.  As well, today is the final up titration.  I will begin checking bp Friday, try to check it twice a day through Monday.  My doc wants results five days after this final dosage start, Monday is best.

I have been doing fairly well with the critters... food, water, and litter.  One slip with water, for the ducks, in the month... but because it got very cold and I slept very long.  I have limits.  Dishes, laundry, and showering are back to going.  Slow, small batches, irregular frequency, but...  I even started on boxes in the living room.  Hopefully the kitchen soon.

Something is very off, if I am hanging on for now.  Will see how, if, when, I can stand back up, regain my footing.  So tired, dazed, and confused.

So messed up.

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I have been trying to work the last half week.  Very little done.  I have figured out sleep and warmth, finished two minor tasks, and started a few others.  I finished my last game a week ago, or more?  I wrote about it, after, but probably longer after than I realized.  Time isn't... working.  A seeming day might be a week gone.  I am absolutely lost.

I knew I had an appointment coming up.  I had it in my calendar, with four or five alerts.  The driveway is clear, we haven't had any bad weather, I have been sleeping well, and if not working well I thought my bean was clear?  Apparently not so much, not so much at all.

I... missed the appointment.  Worse?  I somehow didn't even know I had missed it until I checked last night.  I was sure it would be this week.  Wanted to be ready.  It was the 16th, last Thursday.  I just don't understand how I could have missed that many alarms, starting three days before, then daily until the day, plus one five and three hours beforehand on that day.

Even if my phone was ooc, the app doesn't depend on connection to a tower or Internet.  But I don't recall any alerts.  Have I just been that out of it?  I suspect so.  But I have been taking medicine flawlessly.  Then again, that is the sum total of function, or close enough to call it.

I will move dishes so as to shower... they have been washed.  I will wash them as I remove them and set them to a rinse after a shower.  Then laundry will get going again.  I'll set tea, feed and water critters, and???  No use crying over spilled milk.  I... I am just so confused at just now realizing that milk was spilled, and so long ago.

I keep forgetting.

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I was sitting there, minding my own business, when my body up and closed down shop around me.  Imagine, you are sitting in the food court at a local mall in the middle of the afternoon, and suddenly you realize a few things.  You are all alone, it is dark, most of the lights are off, the furnace has been shut off, and every door is locked.

Now, change the venue from the mall to the body.  I tried to fight it.  I thought I could, as a well conscious mind and will inside a dying (?) body.  As soon as I tried to raise a ruckus, I nearly blacked out.  Even with the socks on and heat up, I was again freezing.  All I could do was crawl off to bed.

Wow.  It's been a while since I've so directly faced that.  When it hits, I usually just call it bedtime.  But usually it doesn't hit with such direct force.  I can't be sure when, three to six hours ago?  Did the world cool off very quickly, and that get me?  Did my heart slow, bp drop?  I would like to check bp more often, and track outdoor temperatures here.  Indoor didn't change, but, in really hot or cold weather, there is more to it.

Still so very hungry.  I did eat out yesterday.  Bad idea.  Blood sugar skyrocketed but is normalizing.  Bad home food is vastly superior to any fast food.  Oh, and if you see the staff is mostly minority?  Drive on.  The cooking oil was bad, and mixed... fries, fish, and onions don't really mix well.  Brand new building.

I may have to fast thaw something.  Or... no, too late to get to else, a shower, and out shopping, in time for a real grocery store.  Walmart doesn't count.  I suspect even their brand names are seconds and the labels less reliable than usual.  The store brand names, for canned fruit, also turned out mislabeled.  The brand name fruit doesn't, or didn't, cause blood sugar spikes.  The store brand does, in spite of it's label saying it has even fewer carbs and no sugar added.  I look for bargains, some just aren't.

I reset dishes, set tea after waking, and will check and probably change laundry as I pour a fatted hot drink.  Still on the verge of being too cold, but working on it.  I may jack the furnace for a bit.  At least I don't have a "smart meter" which would refuse to allow more, or would slowly turn itself down.  Is that mostly electrical, or are they doing it with gas too?

I feel more rested, even than before the fall.  I am truly hoping I can get to some work.  But that was an amazing smash from my medical conditions.  It happens daily, just not usually that severely.  Or, I don't see it so clearly.  My mind and will are usually on the same page as my body.  This was terrifying.  Really.

I can't remember.

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When did I crawl into bed?  I don't even have an estimate.  I know I checked the clock on the way up, and the alarm when I arrived.  Those memories are blank.  I slept well.  I ended up taking all socks off and turning the furnace down from 72° to 66°F.  It wasn't until the thermometer read 67° before going to bed.  But that doesn't mean I went to bed as it dropped.  When the furnace clicks on, it takes the temperature a few degrees higher.  It does take hours to drop temperature, but I simply have no clue how long, or even what I was doing, after the last post.

I did have to fuss with blankets at bedtime and several times through the night, but no major fuss, no terrible cooling, just slight shuffling and jostling to keep ahead of any real trouble.  I didn't have to wake fully, just enough to move my feet together or cover a minor gap.  Actually I prefer to keep an eye and ear about that open.

As to the sounds the other night?  Cats.  Definitely.  My girls.  I caught them making the exact same sounds yesterday.  Never heard that before.  Well, and ice and snow mini- avalanches from the roof.  I am in the 90s percent sure it was all... natural and native.  Thankfully.

Ending posting?  It, like dishes, getting trash out, cleaning the place, and other things will happen... when I  am ready and able.  It is coming.  I am just too tired to make sure I am doing it correctly.  It will be done when I am not so damned tired, so I can do it right.  So very tired.

I set a pot of dishes to soak.  As well, a timer.  In what is left of an hour I will feed and water critters, change litter, trim my whiskers, and set a small load of laundry.  Reset the timer for two hours, then shower, flip dishes and laundry, and shave or sit.  One more timer reset, after which trash will be collected and a final effort on dishes and laundry.  The plan anyway.  It could happen.

Hungry!?!

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Oh yes.  Of body.

Cotton and wool works.

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So long as you don't get your feet wet it works.  Wool is too bulky to put under cotton, so the choice of which first was easy.  Hot now, too hot.  But after days of shivering I am enjoying.  As bedtime approaches I will turn the furnace down and take off the wools.  I will take the cotton socks off at bedtime, when I am crawling in to bed.  Actually, both pairs off, now.

Is it the socks, or am I just doing better?  I can't be sure.  If I am doing better, I am not feeling it in any other way.  Though being able to be warm is significant, actually.  To be honest, sensing I could work, while still being too cold, is utter frustration.  If I can warm, then get to feeling like working, then opportunity increases.

I am finished with newer single player games.  I could go back and pick off trophies.  Not sure I am all that interested.  I also have a pvp combat game.  Not sure I really want to play it.  The learning curve is brutal.  Senior players prefer playing against noobs.  It's one of the toughest games, no auto-aim, aim assist, as if that matters.  I... just don't know.

I had hoped to get to work.  Thinking it was Friday night.  So it's Saturday?  Whatever!  I have been sleeping, but poorly.  And off any schedule.  Yeah.  If days went by my sleep, it would probably be Wednesday.  I am lucky to have made it to the V.A.  Hmm, I wonder if going back to the bottle would help.  Comparatively, I'm not sure it could hurt?  What's it been, three years?  More?

So very cold.

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My legs and feet are logs.  I have tried single layers of socks, and double.  I am back to cotton under wool.  I tried the furnace up to 78°.  There is no difference, functionally between 72°  and 78°, if I begin otherwise overheating at 74°.  I have tried 66° to 70° as well, just... thinking outside the box.  Reverse psychology, or biology or physiology, doesn't work.

Worse?  If I over exert, even if I set blankets right, I can't warm at night.  That hurts while asleep.  As well, when I can wake, I am still tired.  I have no idea how long or often I have been sleeping, only that it is increasing.  Twelve to sixteen down, with two to four hour naps, all wrapped in a day and a half to two day cycle, all becoming as one day.

I have no clear perception of life.  I did make a fantastic pork roast the other day.  That and fatted drinks have been food.  Blood sugar is going up, but I ate out, poorly, the last two times I went out.  I may attempt fasting for a few days.  If I can.  Without focus I find food in front of me, going down, before I realize, remember, the plan.

I am going to get trash going, and do small batches of dishes and laundry, once I can gain function.  Today?  Tomorrow?  Next week sometime?  When I can.

Poor but longer sleep.

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It wasn't just poor sleep.  Noises kept waking me.  Someone or something was making pounding sounds.  A tom attempting courting rituals?  One of the girls flirting?  A neighbor kid being a hooligan?  Or someone legitimately trying to wake me.  I have no idea.  I didn't wake enough to even check the time.  Nor did the sound wake me.

I was waken, suddenly, three more times, if I never knew what woke me afterwards.  That really hurts sleep quality.  It wasn't a slow gentle nearing to wakefulness.  I don't mind those.  These were nearly instant, full, bolt up, awakenings.  How could it be both instant and take a while?  Well, when I heard the sound isn't when I reacted to it.  It is like the sound reverberated through sleep and time before eventually dredging me to wakefulness.  To be honest, I think that is what happened each time.

It was a rough night.  I woke tired and hurting.  My heart is more tired than usual.  My kidneys have been complaining, now they are whining like poorly tuned violins.  I am still tired.  I feel unwell in general.  I can't tell, but I think it is a bit of everything.  With things mostly sorted, and sort of able to have access and mobility, how I feel isn't quite as important.  Either I can shower and go or not.  There are no groups of things, or really groups of groups of things, in the way.

I was going to call the V.A. to check on insulins.  I found they had called me.  To check the address, always do for cold packages.  I called them back as soon as reasonable.  We went through all, only to find... my doctor had cancelled all of my meds.  This I knew.  But then I watched him refill everything, for a year, and send that through.  Their system must be a mess, or some are flagged for harassment.  I am told to check next Wednesday or Thursday.

I also was given a query.  Deep or standard impact sockets?  I'll tell what I advised.  I would prefer deep.  However, I would start with standard.  Deep won't work on the majority of tasks.  If you buy deep, buy both.  Otherwise buy standard.  I should have added not to buy deep unless you have jobs for which you will regularly need them.  The specialty tools will just, eventually, go missing.