Not sure.

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My internals, stomach, feels like it was hit by a two by four.  Not a tap, but a serious hit.  I'm not sure if I ate something wrong, or the last four bm's beat me up.  They have been difficult.  As I said, too much cheese, by far.  Along with a lot of salami.  I have had to work to go.  Harshly.  No choice, either.  When it has to go, the pipeline and body say so...

Though, even if it is supposed to go, has to go, should go, that doesn't mean it will be easy.  Some of them have taken two or three concentrated efforts.  Others just one, but a lot of work.

Got it!

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The last soup I made, a few days ago?  End up terrible!  I added way too much powdered anchovy.  Wow (wouch?).  Oh, it was so potent I couldn't handle smelling the stuff.  I almost threw the powder out.  I... just... wanted to give it another chance.  Today was that chance.

Last time I added, say, almost a teaspoon, 2/3rds, 3/4ers of a teaspoon I'd say.  I could smell how potent it was, and fishy.  Wouch.  This time?  Somewhere between an eighth and a sixteenth of a teaspoon.  Everything else was the same.  And?

Too much salt.

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That is a part of the water retention problem.  Between cheese and salami, and other dried meats, eaten to get back more toward carnivore, I over did it with the salt.  Still, it seems, sometimes, to get to where I need to be, there is a price.  Either with time, or other things.  I don't mind, this time.  Though am sure hoping the waterpills arrive.

Swelling has gone down some.  Drinking extra water, while at times a problem, when salt intake was too high extra water can be a boon.  Though, trying to use discretion even with this.  Stew will probably help too.  Even thickened, it is watery enough to help carry salt out.

A bit later, oddly.

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Then again, I was awake until 20:30 or so.  So, waking at 4:30 makes sense.  Being a Friday, and trying to get back to things, I stripped the bed, set the mattresses to air out, flipping the top one.  My schedule, when I can follow it, is to strip and set the mattresses on their sides, with a fan going to air them out, on Fridays.  Flip the top one, once.  Then, on the third Friday, move the top mattress to the bottom, then use that twice, flipped once, then alternate like that.

New bedding weekly, washing blankets quarterly to every six months as I can get to it.  And getting new mattresses every three to five years.  These are only two years old, so have a while.  Thin, cotton filled, more like what you might use in a futon (Japanese or American, really).  The Japanese sleep on futons (floor only), Americans often use them as sofas, or sleep/sofa modular devices.  But, the style of mattresses are similar.  If the Japanese use cotton, wool, and/or other sorts of natural fiber fillers.  Who knows these days.  The economy doesn't always allow proper products, and sloth sets in.  Whatnot?  Whatnot.

Oh, right...

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I forgot to call the VA about medicine.  Looking at the clock, it looked like there might be time.  Called, got through.  They force us to go through the suicide think, part of their psyop to cause vets to commit suicide... not a help.  They know that, designed it to do that.

Anyway, I got through.  The stuff my doctor ordered isn't on order.  They had notes for the rejection of the drug he initially asked for, that they refused.  But not about the medicine they agreed to send.  This is on purpose.  They have turned down every prescription from every doctor that isn't in the VA system.  It isn't about their program, it's a pogrom.

That was pretty good.

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I steamed cabbage, rutabaga, and mushrooms, boiling (what ended up chicken) "breakfast" sausages.  Adding butter to the plate, and a touch of salt.  Oh, I'll tell you, that was something very good.  A meal I would gladly brag about, share too.  And, for a cooler fall/winter day, it is excellent as a warmer.

I wouldn't call it fancy?  I'd call it humble fancy though.  And, that is about where I like to be.  The cabbage was small, but very tasty.  The rutabaga was what I remember, almost on the sweet side, but not really.  Like an apple, only a bit harder, without so much sugar.  Probably like apples were in the beginning?  Maybe.

Right?

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I can't be certain, but... the things, which were to arrive today, which I was being told required money in order to be delivered?  Are... arriving today.  No, I didn't add any money.  Either amazon is having a serious financial crunch, is attacking conservatives or those on that side or has employees trying to jack money this way or that, in some sort of nefarious theft from the company, or consumers.  They had better sort that out.

It's a bad place to be when the hammer is coming down.  Fix it.  I honestly hope, beside the rest, that financial weaponizations, and tech company commie crap, will also being addressed.  I don't mind some level of censorship, but of the right sort.  If it is truly pro-American, or asks real questions, including doubting the powers that be, let that stand.  If it is anti-American, against the family or (general, honest) Christianity, pro anit-western ideas and ideals?  Let it be forced off and out of common discourse.  

No going back?

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I asked my friend, who visited, to bring a pizza.  So we could eat normal food while conversing.  What kind, from where?  Your choice, in both cases.  Surprise me with anything except pineapple.  I don't think pineapple is a real pizza topping.  It's... nefarious!

A chicken cajun topping?  Okay.  I used to hate chicken, but have really learned to like it.  Same with sirloin, and other such.  Might be returning to enjoying pork?  Will find out.  So, no, that was fine.

Up to 18:30.

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Down until about a quarter to four.  Nice.  I did have to push sleep, and could this time.  With some hope of getting the house in order, and sold at a better price, the mind, stress levels, are diminishing.  Plus, there is the hope of learning home repair and upgrade abilities along the way.  Whether you rent or own, such skills are very handy to have.

Either you learn those skills growing up, slowly over time, from your mom and pop, or pseudo or fully professionally, or you learn them in a hurry at some expense and pain.  The latter is what is left to me, if I have been, in my own gimp way, been learning bits and pieces here and there.

A plan?

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We'll see.  If so, I'll need to see about a loan.  If the plan is in play otherwise, it will depend on a loan.  Next Friday?  That should be when I can apply for a loan.

Well, assuming the plan, as it stands, remains intact.

They are out there!

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I hear the vehicle pull up.  Sometimes I hear radio chatter, sometimes not.  Sometimes I can hear the footsteps.  Sometimes just thumps, as they place, drop, or toss something, move something, or else.

These days I am... less nervous.  Even... no matter who they are.

Up.

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Three thirty.  I think I was awake until 20:30?  19:30?  Some time in there.  I was pushing to be awake, then wasn't sure a visit was going to happen.  Then it did.  But I was on a bit of a push still.  It... takes a while for me to change directions, with intent.  I live an odd little life, do my best, but it's... different.

Waking at 2:20.  Able to sleep another hour, exactly.  Then the eyes opened, and that was that.  Fed Sassy, had a fatted coffee, am now gaming to try to wake a bit.

Can't walk, need something done?

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What can I do?  Well, I can call someone.  A friend?  He tolerates to speak with me.

A text, to schedule a call.  Complicated to ask in a text.

Oh, about chia.

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A good cereal replacement.  Reduces blood sugar a tiny bit.  But?  You... will go.  Even if all else you eat is carnivore?  Yeah, you will do.  Daily.  Maybe twice daily.  This isn't a bad thing, necessarily.

I don't mind not going, more often, so long as I don't gain weight, or have internal problems, or such.  But, too, I dont' mind going more often.  I'm neutral, if all else is equal.  And, strangely, it is.  Now, there are advantages to both.  I am just used to going to the bathroom, having a bowel movement, once a day.  I used to think that was the ideal of health.

Awake.

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Between one and two?  Half after two?  Some time in there.  Down at 18:xx, I think.  I didn't make it to 19:00.  Perhaps the middling in there.  Sleep was good, warm.  That's always a good thing.  Cold sleep is terrible.  I wake up sore most days, but often get beyond it to some small degree.  Or not.  Sometimes I am sore for days or weeks at a time.

The only thing currently continuing to cause problems is the big toe.  But that is improving.  Still can't walk on it well, not fully, directly.  But I can limp a bit better.  All good.  This morning I put warm things on immediately, from the base layer to socks, shoes, and other warm things.  Hoping to take another shower today, but until I am in doing that, I'll... dress warmly.  I don't want to freeze while hoping to take a shower, which never gets taken.  And, this time, I'll dry off much more thoroughly, so as to dry fully and dress again much more quickly.

Not a bad day.

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Very tired.  A bit cold, even dressed very warmly and with the furnace up.  I even had a fatted coffee two chia 'cereal' breakfasts, and a simple tea.  Well, and showered.  Hot as I could get it.  Though, then, I dried off before getting dressed, and sort of ruined my shower warming.  Then again, I hate putting clothes on, espcially socks, when still wet.  Though, too, I just couldn't get too it.  Even realizing the problem.  Too tired.

One more tea, or a fatted coffee.  Perhaps something to eat.  A salad, of some sort.  I had hoped to get to a cabbage meal, but that just didn't happen.  Salad is easy, and I need easy.  That and a fatted coffee would do, I think.

Showers, as I may have mentioned?

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Marvels of modern tech.  Don't believe me?  Ask any king, from even the mid turn of the last century.  A hot shower, or bath, in winter... or summer, spring, or fall, temperature adjusted for the season, on call?  No, it's a marvel.  Do you have any idea how long it took a host of servants to fetch, and warm, enough water to bath?  And showers weren't even a consideration.

And, before the 1900s?  Bathing required a river.  How clean were most of those near cities?  Soap wasn't invented until 1791, in the modern era.  Some suggested it existed in 2800 bc, in Egypt.  If I would bet your left testicle that only the pharoah and those around him had access.  Give or take.  Oh, people had things they used.  Even rubbing down with dirt or sand.  Might not sound all that good, but it got the sweat off.  If one wasn't so absolutely exhausted from slaving over a pyramid or such.

The shoe worked.

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Going to bed late didn't.  To be fair, the ache of the foot, even when greatly reduced, kept me awake longer.  Pain can do that.  I did fear taking off the shoes, that it would bring about a huge wave of possibly nauseating pain.  So I... stalled, a bit, going to bed, thus taking off the shoes.

The feared wave(s) of pain, of possibly various sorts, simply didn't manifest.  There was some minor discomfort, just taking the shoes off.  But that was quite mild and very temporary.  Further, the swelling was much reduced.  Not... normal yet, but improving rather than getting worse, as it had been doing the last two days.  I was having trouble putting my feet in oversized crocs.  That's... how bad it had gotten.

Better.

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Shoving my foot into a shoe, and lacing it tightly, was brutal.  Most of the day it hurt.  It may hurt taking it off.  Though, it seems to have eased the pain, and swelling.  It certainly made mobility easier.  Not... easy... easier.  Still pretty much planted.

Lots of food, calories, today and yesterday.  Some sort of serious hunger.  But it was carnivore food.  I probably have eaten between four and six thousand calories the last few days.  Hunger, but when feeding my body meats and some cheese, I definitely responded well to it.  Finally, feeding my hunger, and with carnivore foods.  Very good response.

It's just past 20:00, five past as I started writing.  It's definitely bedtime.  Good night.

My foot is murder.

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Worse than yesterday, which was worse than the day before.  I still have no idea what actually caused the problem.  Fluid buildup, stubbing it while sleeping somehow, or something else?  I don't know.

Yesterday, the knuckle was walnut sized.  Even so, I could walk on it, with some care to not put too much weight on it, or flex it too much.  A bit of a stilted walk.  Today?  It is bigger, and with less give.  More like a steel ball bearing in there.  I can't walk directly on my food.  Using either my heal, or the outside edge of my foot when making some weird gimped attempt at walking.