Did what I could.

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Added fuel.  Was pretty low.  Grabbed a few burger.  Enjoyed with water.  Got to the post office.  Good thing, it was rather full.

I couldn't go shopping.  In part because I am bit too tired.  The last few days, weeks, months really, have been... difficult.  All good.  I'll make it.  But, for now, I'm a bit shot.  As well, the crowds!  I looked at several stores.  Absolutely cram packed with folk.  At least around here, for the most part, people are... more civil.  Some of that is slipping, but not all of it.

Too funny.

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Write after doing those things, a visitor.  Not... for the reason suspected.  But, all good.  I got a jump start.  The suv is... done charging.  I turned it off, to see.  Started right back up.  Good.  Now to drive a bit.  The post first, though I won't turn it off there.  Then in to get a bite to eat.  Then groceries?  I like the idea.  I think I have enough money.

Oh... wonderful how things sometimes just work out.  Very unexpected visit.  Usually get a call first.  And... was ready for that request, and then some.  Business, but more.  So many favors tended.  I don't know why.  I am grateful.

That didn't work out.

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I had an appointment, this afternoon.  I... was pushing it, slightly.  But was heading out and should have easily been on time.  Grrrrh.  GRRRRRRh.  Nope.  Battery.  That's fine, I've got a jumpstarter and a charger.

In I go.  Around I look.  And?  Nothing.  I got nothing.  Not sure where any of it is.  Not sure the jumpstarter is charged, anyway.  Nor am I sure how long it would take to charge.  Doesn't sound dead, to the bones.  Just... asleep a little too long.

A wonderful sleep.

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Just had to go once.  Half a liter.  Didn't sleep as absolutely shut down as I thought I would, if I wasn't disturbed either.  I woke a few times, with Sassy wanting to snuggle in.  Once to go.  And maybe once or twice as I naturally cycled through various sleep modes.  Though, usually, it was hearing Sassy approach.  No, cats aren't half as sneaky as they would like.  Though... do they make sound when they want to be heard?  Cats, women, similar creatures sometimes, just... thinking.

Teeth brushed, Sassy fed.  I'll give what is in the dryer a short refresh spin.  Start coffee water, then do that whole thing.  A shower before too long after.  I woke a bit after six... ten to half after?  All good.  Looks like it might be raining out there?  Spooky, if it freezes.  If it is freezing as I write.  I saw a county truck, or two, drive through.  If so, they are most likely salting to make sure we don't end up with a glaze of ice.  Or just checking.  I wasn't awake enough to listen closely enough to tell if they were dropping anything.

Just a bit of bragging as I get ready for bed.

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Sassy was fed a final time.  Pleased as punch, she was.  Then laundry shifted.  The last load of wash put into the dryer.  Teeth brushed.  A few other things.  Oh, and I'll... get the thermostat turned down to 66 before I go to bed, and a window cracked and secured as well.

The shower was pleasant, pleasing, warming, comforting, cleansing.  Well, all those good things and maybe healing?  It seems to have improved life just a touch.

A shower.

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Plus laundry started.  What was in the dryer got a wakeup spin.

Just staying awake long enough to put the wash into the dryer.  Oh, and feed Sassy again.  She loves her meals.  Six small ones a day, half the time with four to six treats.  They are small, but to her must seem large?  She quite enjoys what I provide, it I doubt if it's good for her.  It's... just... what I can do.

Better again, by a smidgen.

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Well enough to attempt the mini-boss set, trial and error it a touch, and get it done.  Was trying to obtain something through it.  Through success, obtained the item.

Feeling just a bit better, as mentioned.  Thought to go to bed, on the success.  But, no.  I want to feed Sassy, at the time twice more.  Fed once, the timer set.  I'll feed her in another few hours.  As well, I'd like to take a shower.

Edging better.

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I must admit, while I have gotten used to illness, malady, pain, and such, I really prefer to not have those things.  Of course, you might suggest.  I do complain, from time to time.  Let on.  But, most of the time, I just limp through.  I certainly don't let out a yelp every time things are wrong, I hurt, I feel ill, or I just get lost in the fog of... pain and misery.  The body numbs things, sometimes.  Not sure which is worse.

I was really rough at waking.  Just losing all that fluid.  Why though?  I only took two waterpills yesterday.  And for the last two or three days.  Three for the week before that.  Up to six for a while before that.  But it shouldn't have cause a major flush this far out.

Slightly better.

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The painpills seem to have helped.  Far from in good shaped, though in better shape.  I am trying to do some gaming.  So difficult to focus though.  The gaming isn't for pleasure, it is to push memory, focus, and physical interactions.  As well, possibly, to take my mind off feeling so awful.  It just isn't working.

I can play for bits, but I can't do even minor mini-bosses, or at least sets of them as some things left require.  Certainly not messing with more serious bosses.  I am stuck, on my main, at a boss that I won't go beyond until I defeat.  It is required for some things needed.  While not needed to defeat the game, there are certain things which that 'toon needs, which requires beating that boss next.

That was a very rough night.

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I figured out why my arms hurt, sometimes.  If I have to get up to go to the bathroom several times darning the night, my upper arms are what are used to push me out.  Even four times and I will be sore.  Last night?  I voided almost seven liters, at between a quarter and half a liter per go.  Add up how many times I had to push out of bed, and understand just how badly my arms hurt.

Then consider how much space that fluid was filling.  And, understand, I have large empty spaces my body will have to figure out.  So, yes, my body is in agony this morning.

Good, then rough again.

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Food was good.  I was doing fine.  Then I hit some sort of wall.  It keeps getting worse.  Increments.  Small ones.  Heartburn?  Or... something like it.  Upset stomach?  Mild.  Sore ribs?  But... why?  The other I get from time to time.  Though, no, heartburn is very unusual, these days.  Going keto got rid of most of that, carnivore more so.  Ah, but I have been off my feed bag proper, for a while.  So... okay.

All sorts of little issues.  No clear fix, or immediate issues, just... symptoms.  Small, annoying, increasing in number, if none of them are too awful.  Yet.

Cajun spiced steak.

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This time I used a mortar and pestle, crushing the carolina reaper bits in with say, one part pepper to four parts garlic plus another four parts onion powders... oh, and probably another part salt.  Crush, grind, whirl, until it looks dangerous.  Then two pinches on each side of the steak.  Three?  Depends on how the coverage looks to me.  If my nose goes a bit wild, I... think I'm doing it correctly.

The steak goes, with the pain, into the oven at 350 for fifteen minutes.  The veggies go in a pot, with some butter.  *sneezes*  Definitely got a snootful.  I'm good with the price for the cost?  Yes.  When the timer goes off, then it goes up on a burner, on medium high, for five minutes.  The steak flipped first thing.  Then, another five minutes.

Back to bed, then up again.

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Midnight just wasn't going to do.  Sometime between midnight and two, with no weighting as I simply don't remember, back to bed I went.  Sleep was had with gratitude.

Dreams, which aren't recalled... just that I had them.  I like to think of the more pleasant nature.  Mood indicates so.  A picnic with a past lady friend, a talk of flirtation as we approached... what men and women are together to approach.  Sometimes it takes pleasantries, fond words, caring glances, to get it all to... happen.  But, that seemed the types of dream.

Art, and such.

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Not all art is painted, or otherwise created.  Sometimes it just is.  The art of war, for example.  Such a terrible cost, but too, sometimes of great value.  Worth more than the loss?  There are times and places in which the price can't be questioned.  Other times it absolutely should be.  The beauty in it, if the horror too.

War, if done correctly, isn't about control, power, winning, or else, it is... a feeble attempt at hope.  Taking the term from a mouth thing, to a world thing.  All other forms of war are murder.  Even when the men fighting are doing it rightly, doesn't mean their leaders aren't just getting rich, or doing murder for gain of some sort.

Down and up early.

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Not in the best of ways, but...  I went down just past 18:00.  Eight minutes after was the last time I remember.  Either down here, as I was going up, or up there as I tucked in.  Close enough.  Awake at just shy of midnight.  Why up so early I can't say.

Warm.  I turned the furnace down to 66 before going to bed.  An hour or two before?  Right as I was going upstairs?  I can't be certain.  Even so, it was 57 up there.  When I woke, I think 54 when I went up there.  I... can kick out some warmth.  Though haven't been lately.  All good.

Coffee is so delicious.

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With cream, and a actual keto sweetener formula that sweetens while lowering blood sugar, the stuff is nearly addictive.  I have quit, for a time.  My major issue is finding something that adds enough fat to my diet, anywhere nearly so easily, and in a small enough package that I can actually consume it.  Ribeye is great, for adding a lot of fat.  It's all the protein that goes with it, and bulk.

Don't get me wrong.  I absolutely love ribeye, and better t-bones, porterhouses, new york strips, and a few other things.  Burger can do, but it's... bottom shelf food, at least how they are processing it these days.  Do they even bleed the animals anymore?  Or is it the "pink goo" being added back in that makes burger sloppy, bloody, and too wet?  Something has changed.  Oh, right... /rant... for those of you who know, or remember, minor commands for computers... on old and some new os'es?  Anyway... sure... /rant  = end rant  I wonder if that is just programming language, or if there were other etymological sources?  Such as shorthand, or... morse code, or else?  Nothing ever seems to be the source, just that the source for the seemingly first source wasn't found.  No one reinvents the wheel.  Ask your dad.  :p

Better, and awake.

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Never sure how long feeling well will last.  Though, that I feel better to start the day is always a hopeful sign.  There is still some... minor aches, pains, and tiredness.  It doesn't feel like death though.  Forty years, or going on that, of this.  The last two years have been exceptionally good.  If I still fall into pits of misery from time to time.  Imagine feeling ill, off, tired, exhausted, achy, and hurting for years at a time.

You know, like when you are just off, from the flu or something.  Fevers and chills at times, if rarely.  More that awful feeling like you want to throw up, you just don't feel good.  Food can help, if you can get it down.  Or... it could make it worse.  Depends on the time, and you never quite know which it will be.

Sometimes I wonder.

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I honestly am surprised I haven't died.  The last few days, from time to time, I get the sense things are going wrong.  If so, on medicine?  There wouldn't be much to do about it.

I'll keep going, keep trying.  Pray... for death, or life, whatever God's will might be.  I'm not worried about it either way.  I just feel so rough.  Doesn't make sense.  It reminds me of the high pressure at depth.  Like a bug being crushed by oceanic pressure.  Not anywhere, everywhere.

Rough, again?

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Dragging through life, as if with an anchor, or two, holding me back.  Tired.  A bit off.  A bit ill.  At least I am warm, or mostly.

A shower before long?  Hopefully.  I haven't done any gaming, but am beginning to start on that.  Though I think I'd like to take a shower first.  Perhaps have a bit more steak, reheated.  Then game as I dry off in prep for bedtime.

Impressive.

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Not the meal, though that really was good, needed, wanted, useful, helpful.  A third of a large sirloin and a few smaller bowls of a mix of veggies... corn, peas, and diced tomato.  Oh, just a piece of advice?  Don't get spiced or herbed tomato for longer term storage.  The flavor, heat, and all, goes a bit off pretty quickly.

I have a case or two of (hot) spiced diced tomatoes.  Well within the use by date.  But... the flavor is just wonky.  I remember eating it fresh(er).  It was good.  It is still, roughly, edible.  If pushing that idea.  The new stuff has no basil, or jalapeno and habanero, or such.  I did go with salted, as I think that is a better thing, for longevity?