.
.
No, I didn't crawl back into a hole or such. Not that much happened either. I did need a nap, and took one later than I would normally. Simply put though I crashed really hard. I have suffered, on and off, with a pretty hefty headache on top of it. Still, I've been posting and enjoying my day. It might just be this past week taking it's toll, or my body going through changes still from the medicine, or... just one of those days. All good though, there is tomorrow. I hope to get a bit of actual work done tomorrow. A bit of laundry, dishes, some cooking, and some of the repairs I have suggested. I might even set up the shelves to see that all is good there, then consider deconstructing it, or figuring out where to hide it for now if taking it apart is a bit much.
I didn't mention this, but I did use a kick-board for several half laps in the pool Friday. Wow! Last time I did that I had no real problems. This time it was murder! I think though, last time, I had been swimming for close to a month, or more, before trying to introduce the board. So, I will definitely be holding off on the board until I get my... feet wet. Still, now I know. The thing I CAN do, though, is consciously try to focus on my legs to a greater degree. That is where I will get the real calorie burn, the leg muscles are awesome when built up and used.
Bedtime. Even with the late nap I don't think there will be any trouble at all getting to sleep. Bushed, bush-whacked, exhausted, tired, done, put a fork in me, roll me down the hill, say it as you may, I am ready for sleep. Good night.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Why do I try?
.
.
Uhrm, because I enjoy it, that's why. But... that's not the point.
As a trip approaches, and considering both it and ongoing affairs, I have been shopping for a few things, including a much more serious, robust, medi-pack. A trauma emergency kit for home and elsewhere. I found a place that I sort of liked, USPatriot. One of the things they offered was a build-it-yourself (sort of) medical kit. So I begin constructing just what I want, going a bit heavy. The price wasn't changing, but no problem, when I put it in the cart I will see I thought, trimming or adding from there. I go to put it in the cart. *click* The page sticks at "0" in the cart. No problem, probably not updating. So, I click on the check out or basket button. ... ... ... Hmm, oh right! I have cookies off unless I specifically turn them on.
I begin with, of course, the home site cookies. A quick check looks good, so I temporarily allow. Uhrm, but there are more. And, yes, I do this on every site I visit. If there is a whole rash of these, however, I simply look elsewhere. There were only four or five, so I was sticking with this one, since I liked the kit... at least enough to perform this tiny effort. Okay, so two or three out of five or six cookies were worthy, the others were definitely not trustworthy, on any account. Still, that is usually enough. I scroll to the 'add to cart' button. *click* ... ... ... I do the whole thing over, and simply cannot get the cart to work, the product to go into the cart, nothing. I checked it again, before posting this, to make sure.
So, I decide this once, I will bother writing an email to the contact email given. I believe I am being polite. I suggest that, if they can't create a safe path to purchase, that I will have to shop elsewhere. I give them the name of the suspect link, and the problem with adding products to the cart, and such and so on. I suggest they consider this, as though I am a single buyer, more and more people are becoming more and more cautious. I suggest, if they wish to make changes, that they feel free to email me since the purchase would not be immediate. I did not say they had to change, or that they email me, only that if they chose to make changes my business was still up for grabs.
I got a snide email suggest their site is not this other problem site. No guff. So, I replied back that, while that is quite true, the fact that their site requires the other site in order to make a purchase, their site is completely insecure, for my part. I suggested his ignorance and attitude has cost his company a potential sale, and definitely future business. In finality, I asked him not to respond... with a thank you, and finally a good day. It's things like this that make me disinterested in letting people know that their proverbial, or literal, fly is open and that the world can and does notice. I wanted to suggest if he emailed again I would taunt him a second time. But I'm not sure I have enough French heritage for that? :p
.
Uhrm, because I enjoy it, that's why. But... that's not the point.
As a trip approaches, and considering both it and ongoing affairs, I have been shopping for a few things, including a much more serious, robust, medi-pack. A trauma emergency kit for home and elsewhere. I found a place that I sort of liked, USPatriot. One of the things they offered was a build-it-yourself (sort of) medical kit. So I begin constructing just what I want, going a bit heavy. The price wasn't changing, but no problem, when I put it in the cart I will see I thought, trimming or adding from there. I go to put it in the cart. *click* The page sticks at "0" in the cart. No problem, probably not updating. So, I click on the check out or basket button. ... ... ... Hmm, oh right! I have cookies off unless I specifically turn them on.
I begin with, of course, the home site cookies. A quick check looks good, so I temporarily allow. Uhrm, but there are more. And, yes, I do this on every site I visit. If there is a whole rash of these, however, I simply look elsewhere. There were only four or five, so I was sticking with this one, since I liked the kit... at least enough to perform this tiny effort. Okay, so two or three out of five or six cookies were worthy, the others were definitely not trustworthy, on any account. Still, that is usually enough. I scroll to the 'add to cart' button. *click* ... ... ... I do the whole thing over, and simply cannot get the cart to work, the product to go into the cart, nothing. I checked it again, before posting this, to make sure.
So, I decide this once, I will bother writing an email to the contact email given. I believe I am being polite. I suggest that, if they can't create a safe path to purchase, that I will have to shop elsewhere. I give them the name of the suspect link, and the problem with adding products to the cart, and such and so on. I suggest they consider this, as though I am a single buyer, more and more people are becoming more and more cautious. I suggest, if they wish to make changes, that they feel free to email me since the purchase would not be immediate. I did not say they had to change, or that they email me, only that if they chose to make changes my business was still up for grabs.
I got a snide email suggest their site is not this other problem site. No guff. So, I replied back that, while that is quite true, the fact that their site requires the other site in order to make a purchase, their site is completely insecure, for my part. I suggested his ignorance and attitude has cost his company a potential sale, and definitely future business. In finality, I asked him not to respond... with a thank you, and finally a good day. It's things like this that make me disinterested in letting people know that their proverbial, or literal, fly is open and that the world can and does notice. I wanted to suggest if he emailed again I would taunt him a second time. But I'm not sure I have enough French heritage for that? :p
The first bits of my seedling kit arrived.
.
.
Technically, I suppose the seeds were the first part. It depends on whether you consider the product part of the manufacturing process? Me? Not so much. A large shelving cabinet, lining for the shelves, coir, hooks, and a few other items for the gardening. As well, I purchased diatomaceous earth (food grade) and an applicator, and a few things for Burning Man. Oh, and a deck of Bettie Page playing cards... Hey, Betty Boop just doesn't cut it anymore. I'm weak, it was inexpensive, I am pleased, what else can I say.
I don't think I will bother to set up the shelving until later, though perhaps I ought to make sure everything is there to actually put it together. Quality control and such is pretty rampantly terrible these days. On the good side it is only going to get worse, so that diy will certainly be coming into it's own... until the electric grid fails with a whimper or government mandate. At which time people will get used to getting by as they always had to before the advent of everything tech, high speed, and such. I won't miss cellphones, gotta tell you. Gosh but that is going to suck in some ways, though. Do you know how long it takes to cut a tree, saw the wood into planks, dry that, plane the planks evenly, then construct even a dresser? By hand? Women will, however, once again, come to an absolute understanding that they are not, indeed, equal. There might even be some spiritual understanding, though I doubt it for most. That has rarely been the case.
I honestly can't wait to get everything rigged and going with the garden, though. I still need small and medium pots, for first and second planting. I can hold off on the bigger pots I would guess. I will be trying coconut coir (or some such) for the first planting material if I think the second planting will require actual planting soil. I need two, perhaps three (at least?) double bulb fluorescent lamps. There is a small host of things that I could use, need, or want. However, pretty much, at least half and possibly a slight majority of the cost has been tended. I think... hope.
I am just trying to run some things through my mind. I can't believe I actually had a notion, which has required some planning, that I am getting to in a timely manner. A project, conceived and going forward within the time-frame that makes it functional (potentially) on the first shot. This, swimming, and the rest... It is amazing to me. Even if I hurt some women's feelings on the way. It's my lot, you know.
Later.
.
Technically, I suppose the seeds were the first part. It depends on whether you consider the product part of the manufacturing process? Me? Not so much. A large shelving cabinet, lining for the shelves, coir, hooks, and a few other items for the gardening. As well, I purchased diatomaceous earth (food grade) and an applicator, and a few things for Burning Man. Oh, and a deck of Bettie Page playing cards... Hey, Betty Boop just doesn't cut it anymore. I'm weak, it was inexpensive, I am pleased, what else can I say.
I don't think I will bother to set up the shelving until later, though perhaps I ought to make sure everything is there to actually put it together. Quality control and such is pretty rampantly terrible these days. On the good side it is only going to get worse, so that diy will certainly be coming into it's own... until the electric grid fails with a whimper or government mandate. At which time people will get used to getting by as they always had to before the advent of everything tech, high speed, and such. I won't miss cellphones, gotta tell you. Gosh but that is going to suck in some ways, though. Do you know how long it takes to cut a tree, saw the wood into planks, dry that, plane the planks evenly, then construct even a dresser? By hand? Women will, however, once again, come to an absolute understanding that they are not, indeed, equal. There might even be some spiritual understanding, though I doubt it for most. That has rarely been the case.
I honestly can't wait to get everything rigged and going with the garden, though. I still need small and medium pots, for first and second planting. I can hold off on the bigger pots I would guess. I will be trying coconut coir (or some such) for the first planting material if I think the second planting will require actual planting soil. I need two, perhaps three (at least?) double bulb fluorescent lamps. There is a small host of things that I could use, need, or want. However, pretty much, at least half and possibly a slight majority of the cost has been tended. I think... hope.
I am just trying to run some things through my mind. I can't believe I actually had a notion, which has required some planning, that I am getting to in a timely manner. A project, conceived and going forward within the time-frame that makes it functional (potentially) on the first shot. This, swimming, and the rest... It is amazing to me. Even if I hurt some women's feelings on the way. It's my lot, you know.
Later.
Almost done with Summa Elvetica.
.
.
Technically, I suppose, one could say I have finished the main line of the book, the first story. Now, it seems Vox has stayed with the historical treatment of the subject. I had some hopes that he would... wander a bit more, propose, impose, suppose... a bit more than he did. No, the story is fine. It was a bit linear, as I see things. And it was pretty short. I actually enjoyed that he put in that bit, from writer to reader, at the end of the first story. It was odd. I won't argue that. But if I like a book I also like to see a bit of the thinking that went into the book. Sophomoric, to be sure. But some things that are more polished are less entertaining for it. Further, not many s.f. books are as entertaining to begin with. As he suggested, putting in a monk while extricating God, and such, simply fails. I guess I had just hoped he would have toyed with the notion of the soul a bit more, rather than just using an historic cheat sheet approach. But... that is dangerous in these, and possibly any, times.
Why is the question of the soul so important? Well, if there is such a thing, do all men have it? Are some tarnished by bad blood long past but surely noted in even holy texts? Is it important to know, question, consider? You have to ask yourself those questions. Now, do I think Vox, and those whose conclusions he reiterated are wrong? It doesn't matter what I think the final truth is, so much as I understand why they came to that conclusion. And his book easily answers that. (Yes, I am ducking.) They knew that if some men would be to be considered soulless, something they could not know even among themselves, then genocide upon genocide would have been seen to be permitted, one way or another, by such a proclamation. And, of course, we literally can't know if this man or that does or does not have a soul. We have no surety. It was far better to back away from that question, the whole line of them, and simply say everyone, for all intents and purposes, has a soul. This is sort of a form of obverse to that finality. It's the only way to be sure, indeed. Still, it is a legitimate question, just one without a safe answer. It is a question I would love to have with others who seek, but seek without malice and yet with some understanding, knowledge, wisdom, and such. It was a bit much to expect from a publicly available s.f. book. Still, you never know!
I am look forward to finishing the last tale in the book. It is quite interesting and has finials and detail that I very much enjoy. I can see Vox very much carving out a sub-set, and a broader, readership. I am quite certain his books will tighten, as he tightens himself in the dojo of s.f.-fu. He definitely has the mind for it, and the scholarly insights from reading and debating. He has a decent handle or real life, an interesting notion of history, and some good theories on what might really have happened or been going on minus sycophantic and fearful historians' gifts to us. Plus, it looks like he has the means to pull those things together. Not a bad trick, just needs a little work. For a first novel, though, he gets a solid B+, 4-4.5/5, or such. But I would highly recommend it, especially to those of the faith, regardless of leanings. History buffs, regardless of spiritual lineage, would also absolutely enjoy the read. And, he has a point... if the world of authors let you down... roll your own. Though I have to guess he might much rather read than write out of need. :p
Your Most Humble Elf,
Doom
Hmm, on to my day.
.
Technically, I suppose, one could say I have finished the main line of the book, the first story. Now, it seems Vox has stayed with the historical treatment of the subject. I had some hopes that he would... wander a bit more, propose, impose, suppose... a bit more than he did. No, the story is fine. It was a bit linear, as I see things. And it was pretty short. I actually enjoyed that he put in that bit, from writer to reader, at the end of the first story. It was odd. I won't argue that. But if I like a book I also like to see a bit of the thinking that went into the book. Sophomoric, to be sure. But some things that are more polished are less entertaining for it. Further, not many s.f. books are as entertaining to begin with. As he suggested, putting in a monk while extricating God, and such, simply fails. I guess I had just hoped he would have toyed with the notion of the soul a bit more, rather than just using an historic cheat sheet approach. But... that is dangerous in these, and possibly any, times.
Why is the question of the soul so important? Well, if there is such a thing, do all men have it? Are some tarnished by bad blood long past but surely noted in even holy texts? Is it important to know, question, consider? You have to ask yourself those questions. Now, do I think Vox, and those whose conclusions he reiterated are wrong? It doesn't matter what I think the final truth is, so much as I understand why they came to that conclusion. And his book easily answers that. (Yes, I am ducking.) They knew that if some men would be to be considered soulless, something they could not know even among themselves, then genocide upon genocide would have been seen to be permitted, one way or another, by such a proclamation. And, of course, we literally can't know if this man or that does or does not have a soul. We have no surety. It was far better to back away from that question, the whole line of them, and simply say everyone, for all intents and purposes, has a soul. This is sort of a form of obverse to that finality. It's the only way to be sure, indeed. Still, it is a legitimate question, just one without a safe answer. It is a question I would love to have with others who seek, but seek without malice and yet with some understanding, knowledge, wisdom, and such. It was a bit much to expect from a publicly available s.f. book. Still, you never know!
I am look forward to finishing the last tale in the book. It is quite interesting and has finials and detail that I very much enjoy. I can see Vox very much carving out a sub-set, and a broader, readership. I am quite certain his books will tighten, as he tightens himself in the dojo of s.f.-fu. He definitely has the mind for it, and the scholarly insights from reading and debating. He has a decent handle or real life, an interesting notion of history, and some good theories on what might really have happened or been going on minus sycophantic and fearful historians' gifts to us. Plus, it looks like he has the means to pull those things together. Not a bad trick, just needs a little work. For a first novel, though, he gets a solid B+, 4-4.5/5, or such. But I would highly recommend it, especially to those of the faith, regardless of leanings. History buffs, regardless of spiritual lineage, would also absolutely enjoy the read. And, he has a point... if the world of authors let you down... roll your own. Though I have to guess he might much rather read than write out of need. :p
Your Most Humble Elf,
Doom
Hmm, on to my day.
An early rise.
.
.
At 2:30 I pretty much woke up. I was able to stay down until 3:30 but sleep wasn't going to happen again. I know what woke me this time, though. Heat. In my, literally, frigid room, I woke roasting. Taking off my sometimes-sleeping socks and kicking back the blankets did nothing. I'll bet I, alone, raised the temp in my bedroom 10 degrees or more in that hour, something my furnace (though not hooked to the room) with the door open can't do, even at 76. I could no longer see my breath, so... Yeah, I like to sleep cool. Hush. It helps with that old saying, keep your friends close, your women closer. :p
Today? I don't know, though I am betting on a nap at 11:00! Dishes, laundry, some work in the kitchen, and maybe some more work on the back room. I never did get back to painting and such. And I looked at the ding in the wall out here. with the hinge door-stopper functioning, and a closer look at the ding, I don't think I will need to do more than fill the ding with drywall mud, smooth that, then paint. There isn't an actually hole in the wall, as I had at first been sure there was.
Over the weekend I am really just hoping to tinker my way through to a straightened home. I am a bit tired, from travel, from swimming, from doing, this week. And yet I don't want to just stop everything. That never turns out well. Hmm, some cooking would be good. A pot of chili perhaps, to last me a bit. And maybe a spaghetti and meat sauce for one good single meal... or some such. I am not even sure of all that, just... something to think about. On the good side, this coming week, I won't have extra stops beside Mass and swimming and a visit or two with my friend. No really long days ahead, mostly.
Oh, a conversation I (easily, wasn't eavesdropping) overheard today in the locker-room made me... wonder. Something about SEALs, and benching 600 and swimming 3 miles. Had they overheard my boast and were mocking me? I hadn't seen these guys in there when the other discussion happened, but you never know. Were they just checking my response? I just quickly did what I was doing and got out of there, avoiding any contact or conversation, even eye contact. And I tried to stay as nonchalant as possible. But it did... make me wonder. Damn my bragging ways. And, no, I didn't make that claim, at all, still... I needed some fresh air anyway, if mostly for that reason. Things like that creep me out. Of course, we know I wasn't. It's just...
Well, on to waking. And good morning.
.
At 2:30 I pretty much woke up. I was able to stay down until 3:30 but sleep wasn't going to happen again. I know what woke me this time, though. Heat. In my, literally, frigid room, I woke roasting. Taking off my sometimes-sleeping socks and kicking back the blankets did nothing. I'll bet I, alone, raised the temp in my bedroom 10 degrees or more in that hour, something my furnace (though not hooked to the room) with the door open can't do, even at 76. I could no longer see my breath, so... Yeah, I like to sleep cool. Hush. It helps with that old saying, keep your friends close, your women closer. :p
Today? I don't know, though I am betting on a nap at 11:00! Dishes, laundry, some work in the kitchen, and maybe some more work on the back room. I never did get back to painting and such. And I looked at the ding in the wall out here. with the hinge door-stopper functioning, and a closer look at the ding, I don't think I will need to do more than fill the ding with drywall mud, smooth that, then paint. There isn't an actually hole in the wall, as I had at first been sure there was.
Over the weekend I am really just hoping to tinker my way through to a straightened home. I am a bit tired, from travel, from swimming, from doing, this week. And yet I don't want to just stop everything. That never turns out well. Hmm, some cooking would be good. A pot of chili perhaps, to last me a bit. And maybe a spaghetti and meat sauce for one good single meal... or some such. I am not even sure of all that, just... something to think about. On the good side, this coming week, I won't have extra stops beside Mass and swimming and a visit or two with my friend. No really long days ahead, mostly.
Oh, a conversation I (easily, wasn't eavesdropping) overheard today in the locker-room made me... wonder. Something about SEALs, and benching 600 and swimming 3 miles. Had they overheard my boast and were mocking me? I hadn't seen these guys in there when the other discussion happened, but you never know. Were they just checking my response? I just quickly did what I was doing and got out of there, avoiding any contact or conversation, even eye contact. And I tried to stay as nonchalant as possible. But it did... make me wonder. Damn my bragging ways. And, no, I didn't make that claim, at all, still... I needed some fresh air anyway, if mostly for that reason. Things like that creep me out. Of course, we know I wasn't. It's just...
Well, on to waking. And good morning.
Friday, January 4, 2013
It is a Friday, and the beginning?
.
.
I did get dressed for Mass, and out the door on time, just barely. I pulled into the Church parking lot about five minutes ahead of time. No Mass, it didn't say why though I can guess. So I went swimming an hour and change earlier than I had planned. I am seeing how to swim better, faster, the more I go. It will take time to even be in shape to swim right, but I am seeing it... touching it from time to time. I did look it up, it seems a 20 minute mile, even for multiple miles, is reasonable for a good swimmer. I still don't know if I was that good though. But it is there, in memory. And I do have some skill, and some serious want of speed. Never mind, one half hour session at a time. Then an hour session at a time. And I will see where that gets me in time.
My friend wanted to go to his bank, then we had a bite to eat. My ability to eat, it seems, is shrinking. After that we went to his apartment, but stopped by his friends for a bit. A nice chat there. His friend is also working through a really bad heart, and has clean arteries. He is a bit older though, so it's been tougher. They installed a pace maker in him. We are even on some of the same medicine. Further, he can't take full doses either. They wipe him out if he does. They found his heart problem eleven years ago. He started out at 15% e.r. too. A lot of similarities. He says his heart has gotten up to 45% ejection refraction, but slipped 10% last year. Oh, and he did suggest my suspicion regarding one of the meds I discontinued had merit, the reason I discontinued them affected him as I feared they would me.
On to my friend's place where we watched the show. I can't say it was my favorite, and of all the Harrison movies I have watched, this ranks dead last by a goodly bit. Aliens & Cowboys was... a dud... to my way of thinking. There was very little character development, little drama, the aliens weren't examined... It was something to watch for and hour and something, or whatever it was. Even the fighting was muted or mechanical. Still, now I know. I was curious when it came out. I think they missed an opportunity with the notion. It wasn't boring, just... trite? Sorry to those of you who loved it, I simply was not... into it.
My friend was pleased with the camera. I will have to look for the instructions though. And I may check that old mini-computer I have, to see if it still works. If so I may just give that to him. It won't be as powerful as this near dead beater, but it is newer so might last a two to four years for internet browsing anyway. It will get him online, and maybe his apartment complex has wi-fi? I don't know. But he wanted a computer and it would do. It would save him a nickle as well, and I am not using it. I just need to clear the memory, if the power cord works to charge it up. Another project but one that might be fun.
Three swims, even with the cold, and I enjoyed it. Going for double or nothing this coming week. It seems so odd that I am able to do this. I said I would, if I could, and I am. Nice, very nice. I am not pushing or hurting, I am not whining or making excuses real or imagined, I am just doing it. My lungs feel great! My body is tightening! Oh I have a very long way to go. And while my paunch is down, there is still too much there. Time...
Good night.
.
I did get dressed for Mass, and out the door on time, just barely. I pulled into the Church parking lot about five minutes ahead of time. No Mass, it didn't say why though I can guess. So I went swimming an hour and change earlier than I had planned. I am seeing how to swim better, faster, the more I go. It will take time to even be in shape to swim right, but I am seeing it... touching it from time to time. I did look it up, it seems a 20 minute mile, even for multiple miles, is reasonable for a good swimmer. I still don't know if I was that good though. But it is there, in memory. And I do have some skill, and some serious want of speed. Never mind, one half hour session at a time. Then an hour session at a time. And I will see where that gets me in time.
My friend wanted to go to his bank, then we had a bite to eat. My ability to eat, it seems, is shrinking. After that we went to his apartment, but stopped by his friends for a bit. A nice chat there. His friend is also working through a really bad heart, and has clean arteries. He is a bit older though, so it's been tougher. They installed a pace maker in him. We are even on some of the same medicine. Further, he can't take full doses either. They wipe him out if he does. They found his heart problem eleven years ago. He started out at 15% e.r. too. A lot of similarities. He says his heart has gotten up to 45% ejection refraction, but slipped 10% last year. Oh, and he did suggest my suspicion regarding one of the meds I discontinued had merit, the reason I discontinued them affected him as I feared they would me.
On to my friend's place where we watched the show. I can't say it was my favorite, and of all the Harrison movies I have watched, this ranks dead last by a goodly bit. Aliens & Cowboys was... a dud... to my way of thinking. There was very little character development, little drama, the aliens weren't examined... It was something to watch for and hour and something, or whatever it was. Even the fighting was muted or mechanical. Still, now I know. I was curious when it came out. I think they missed an opportunity with the notion. It wasn't boring, just... trite? Sorry to those of you who loved it, I simply was not... into it.
My friend was pleased with the camera. I will have to look for the instructions though. And I may check that old mini-computer I have, to see if it still works. If so I may just give that to him. It won't be as powerful as this near dead beater, but it is newer so might last a two to four years for internet browsing anyway. It will get him online, and maybe his apartment complex has wi-fi? I don't know. But he wanted a computer and it would do. It would save him a nickle as well, and I am not using it. I just need to clear the memory, if the power cord works to charge it up. Another project but one that might be fun.
Three swims, even with the cold, and I enjoyed it. Going for double or nothing this coming week. It seems so odd that I am able to do this. I said I would, if I could, and I am. Nice, very nice. I am not pushing or hurting, I am not whining or making excuses real or imagined, I am just doing it. My lungs feel great! My body is tightening! Oh I have a very long way to go. And while my paunch is down, there is still too much there. Time...
Good night.
Another day in the...
.
.
Wait, no it's not. This is Friday, the third installation in the Doom begins getting fit saga. And I do believe it will happen. But... how? Three days of even getting to town, in a week, just by itself, until literally this week, has left me too tired to even blog. Even that summer that I did well, I don't think I could have gotten to town like this. But throwing in an half hour in the pool really putting some effort in? Of course, it is only three times, assuming I make it to town and swim. And I have been taking it somewhat easy on the off days. No, that isn't quite true. Even my off days have seen more things done than some previous 'on' days, even minor good weeks haven't seen as much done as my off days. My thinking is relatively clear, memory is pretty good. Sure, some housekeeping is slipping, if I think I can get to that this weekend. I have even been sleeping and waking well. The last two days have been seeing me sleep ten hours, but that is built into the system, at the moment, as the outside limit. And it has been holding.
Never mind why, I'll take it for now. My blood pressure is down one day, up the next. The highs are running into the 140s-160s/100s-110s, but the lows (the majority of readings) have been 100s-110s/70s-90s. Something is simply shifting. I may still call in and see if they want to see me sooner than planned. At this point, being this close, actually seeing it, I may tempt fate and try one more very tiny dose of something or other. I am terribly nervous about touching ANYTHING. But to cross over that last little patch, and get the bp fully controlled, I think, would be an absolute break in healing. Of course, then I will have to begin hitting diabetes. One thing at a time, remember? It's all I can do. But I am doing it, with some help. At least, now, I don't feel like they were just goofing with me. Mostly.
My weight is staying in the 280 range, and it bugs me a bit. I still have to add that I am wearing 38-39 waist pants easily, if 36s aren't quite on the horizon... yet. When I came here I was 300 and wearing 44 going on 46 waists in my pants. My 44s then fit tighter than my 38s now. While the weight itself is frustrating, the loss in waist size really does make a difference. I HAVE to have been gaining muscle. It doesn't take much muscle mass to replace the weight of fat, so it probably isn't all that noticeable? Crazy though, I suppose just being more active, even a bit more each day? But that's crazy talk, unless I add muscle as easily as those women who seemingly look at chocolate and gain a pound to their hips gain fat? I simply don't know. Like I said though, my arms are rocking-up from those two days of swimming so far. Even my chest is tightening a goodly bit, if there is still a bit of... man-boob there. :p Yeah, maybe I do rock out fast. It's almost spooky. Wait until the doc lets me hit the iron, and then I can get to it!
I don't understand. At times even I was beginning think my stories of benching 550 and swimming 9m a week were... maybe... fable. Whole cloth or stretches, I... can't remember save that those things were stored in memory as truth, at one time. And I remember being at the gym and in the pool. I am not so sure now. Especially since, last time I swam I was able to do a mile in an hour swimming and bench 300, but 3 miles in an hour, 550 pounds bench? If I can ever get to swimming even 1 1/2-2 miles in an hour, and benching even 400, at my age and infirmity, I will be more sure. Time will tell.
Time to wake up. Have a great day!
.
Wait, no it's not. This is Friday, the third installation in the Doom begins getting fit saga. And I do believe it will happen. But... how? Three days of even getting to town, in a week, just by itself, until literally this week, has left me too tired to even blog. Even that summer that I did well, I don't think I could have gotten to town like this. But throwing in an half hour in the pool really putting some effort in? Of course, it is only three times, assuming I make it to town and swim. And I have been taking it somewhat easy on the off days. No, that isn't quite true. Even my off days have seen more things done than some previous 'on' days, even minor good weeks haven't seen as much done as my off days. My thinking is relatively clear, memory is pretty good. Sure, some housekeeping is slipping, if I think I can get to that this weekend. I have even been sleeping and waking well. The last two days have been seeing me sleep ten hours, but that is built into the system, at the moment, as the outside limit. And it has been holding.
Never mind why, I'll take it for now. My blood pressure is down one day, up the next. The highs are running into the 140s-160s/100s-110s, but the lows (the majority of readings) have been 100s-110s/70s-90s. Something is simply shifting. I may still call in and see if they want to see me sooner than planned. At this point, being this close, actually seeing it, I may tempt fate and try one more very tiny dose of something or other. I am terribly nervous about touching ANYTHING. But to cross over that last little patch, and get the bp fully controlled, I think, would be an absolute break in healing. Of course, then I will have to begin hitting diabetes. One thing at a time, remember? It's all I can do. But I am doing it, with some help. At least, now, I don't feel like they were just goofing with me. Mostly.
My weight is staying in the 280 range, and it bugs me a bit. I still have to add that I am wearing 38-39 waist pants easily, if 36s aren't quite on the horizon... yet. When I came here I was 300 and wearing 44 going on 46 waists in my pants. My 44s then fit tighter than my 38s now. While the weight itself is frustrating, the loss in waist size really does make a difference. I HAVE to have been gaining muscle. It doesn't take much muscle mass to replace the weight of fat, so it probably isn't all that noticeable? Crazy though, I suppose just being more active, even a bit more each day? But that's crazy talk, unless I add muscle as easily as those women who seemingly look at chocolate and gain a pound to their hips gain fat? I simply don't know. Like I said though, my arms are rocking-up from those two days of swimming so far. Even my chest is tightening a goodly bit, if there is still a bit of... man-boob there. :p Yeah, maybe I do rock out fast. It's almost spooky. Wait until the doc lets me hit the iron, and then I can get to it!
I don't understand. At times even I was beginning think my stories of benching 550 and swimming 9m a week were... maybe... fable. Whole cloth or stretches, I... can't remember save that those things were stored in memory as truth, at one time. And I remember being at the gym and in the pool. I am not so sure now. Especially since, last time I swam I was able to do a mile in an hour swimming and bench 300, but 3 miles in an hour, 550 pounds bench? If I can ever get to swimming even 1 1/2-2 miles in an hour, and benching even 400, at my age and infirmity, I will be more sure. Time will tell.
Time to wake up. Have a great day!
Thursday, January 3, 2013
I DID suggest it would be a simple day.
.
.
A bill figured, if that was their doing. A door-stop fixed. A bit of painting and some repair plastering and light hanging, if done bassackward. I did have a lot of mucus coming through my nose, though. I though, at first, that I might be coming down with something. As it turns out I do believe the flying rats, due to the extreme cold spell, were crawling around, kicking up dust... If both nostrils were running, that was good, or better. Otherwise when one nose would be runny, the other would be bleeding, then they would switch. Bah! I fired my nose! Didn't help.
Never to worry. I plan on Mass, swimming, and then a visit with my friend. If he wants or needs to go shopping first, all good. But I have a movie I haven't seen I'd like to watch with him, Cowboys & Aliens, or some such. I have it with the Dremel bit I will be giving him and some other things I want to take into town for whatever reason. I've got a small stack of stuff. I'm sure it will make sense once I head out. Oh, right, one of the things is a camera. I have one that I don't like but that he might really enjoy. It'll be up to him.
I will take my medicine, read for about and hour, then I think I will be hitting it pretty hard tonight. I can't say swimming is beating it out of me, but living a little more fully and more regularly is making sleep pretty easy and rather regular. Staying up a bit later would be okay, but I like getting up at, or usually before, 7:00. It makes me feel like I almost have a claim to the big people's table! Even with going to bed so early. Regularity and getting up early trump the downer of going to be early, any day, in my book. Well, at this stage in my life.
Good night. Sleep well. See ya in the pool! *splash*
.
A bill figured, if that was their doing. A door-stop fixed. A bit of painting and some repair plastering and light hanging, if done bassackward. I did have a lot of mucus coming through my nose, though. I though, at first, that I might be coming down with something. As it turns out I do believe the flying rats, due to the extreme cold spell, were crawling around, kicking up dust... If both nostrils were running, that was good, or better. Otherwise when one nose would be runny, the other would be bleeding, then they would switch. Bah! I fired my nose! Didn't help.
Never to worry. I plan on Mass, swimming, and then a visit with my friend. If he wants or needs to go shopping first, all good. But I have a movie I haven't seen I'd like to watch with him, Cowboys & Aliens, or some such. I have it with the Dremel bit I will be giving him and some other things I want to take into town for whatever reason. I've got a small stack of stuff. I'm sure it will make sense once I head out. Oh, right, one of the things is a camera. I have one that I don't like but that he might really enjoy. It'll be up to him.
I will take my medicine, read for about and hour, then I think I will be hitting it pretty hard tonight. I can't say swimming is beating it out of me, but living a little more fully and more regularly is making sleep pretty easy and rather regular. Staying up a bit later would be okay, but I like getting up at, or usually before, 7:00. It makes me feel like I almost have a claim to the big people's table! Even with going to bed so early. Regularity and getting up early trump the downer of going to be early, any day, in my book. Well, at this stage in my life.
Good night. Sleep well. See ya in the pool! *splash*
What the... I probably should have napped.
.
.
Not much was happening. I did get up and tinker with the door-stopper. A little recalibrating and the thing works as it should. Now, at my leisure, I can repair the minor hole in the wall from a now fully restrained door. I couldn't get to much after that for a while. I did set the dishes to a soak, and I do think I will get those done this afternoon yet. A bit more of a "break", then I decided to go tinker with the back room, light, and such.
I decided to measure and drill. I measured several times, in several ways, and I think I got that part right. The length was definitely correct and I am pretty sure it will be relatively parallel with the outside wall. Next I drilled holes for the anchors. I then put the anchors through the light, then put the anchors through their holes. I was just tightening things up when... Holy @#$*! I hadn't painted! Well, the anchors aren't the type that can be removed, without losing the anchor end, for which I simply don't have replacements I would be willing to sacrifice. There was enough room, however, that I could paint. So, I started to paint. Jiminy $#(#)_& Cricket! The areas I had cut to get a paint sample hadn't been filled in! So, I gave that a rough first going over. I'm just waiting for that to dry. Heck with it all! Yeah, but I have to just chuckle at it. And, at least, I did get off my butt for a bit. Apparently my brain stayed in the chair. *grins* I did a splendid job of what I did do though!
Have you ever met someone who is limited? I mean, they really probably would have trouble, say, figuring out a bus schedule? Now, don't get me wrong, when I am in the depths of exhaustion, figuring out a string stuck to my finger is quite the task. But barring that I almost have a head on my shoulders. If I put my mind to it, most things will come into focus. Not all are like that. Some pass quite well. It is just when they speak, or sometimes the blank look on their face. Some of them take several meetings to... see the limits.
The other day I met such a man. We had business to do. For his part, from what I can tell, he is very good at what he does. And he is quite kind. Sometimes I wonder if that wouldn't be the better part of life, to a degree. I am pretty sure some of them, this one in particular, has some idea that he is different. I know to he has taken some serious barbs. I used to hate the people that teased, then I realized that unlike the man I met, those too are limited only... they don't know it. What a world.
Well, back to something or other. Have a good day.
.
Not much was happening. I did get up and tinker with the door-stopper. A little recalibrating and the thing works as it should. Now, at my leisure, I can repair the minor hole in the wall from a now fully restrained door. I couldn't get to much after that for a while. I did set the dishes to a soak, and I do think I will get those done this afternoon yet. A bit more of a "break", then I decided to go tinker with the back room, light, and such.
I decided to measure and drill. I measured several times, in several ways, and I think I got that part right. The length was definitely correct and I am pretty sure it will be relatively parallel with the outside wall. Next I drilled holes for the anchors. I then put the anchors through the light, then put the anchors through their holes. I was just tightening things up when... Holy @#$*! I hadn't painted! Well, the anchors aren't the type that can be removed, without losing the anchor end, for which I simply don't have replacements I would be willing to sacrifice. There was enough room, however, that I could paint. So, I started to paint. Jiminy $#(#)_& Cricket! The areas I had cut to get a paint sample hadn't been filled in! So, I gave that a rough first going over. I'm just waiting for that to dry. Heck with it all! Yeah, but I have to just chuckle at it. And, at least, I did get off my butt for a bit. Apparently my brain stayed in the chair. *grins* I did a splendid job of what I did do though!
Have you ever met someone who is limited? I mean, they really probably would have trouble, say, figuring out a bus schedule? Now, don't get me wrong, when I am in the depths of exhaustion, figuring out a string stuck to my finger is quite the task. But barring that I almost have a head on my shoulders. If I put my mind to it, most things will come into focus. Not all are like that. Some pass quite well. It is just when they speak, or sometimes the blank look on their face. Some of them take several meetings to... see the limits.
The other day I met such a man. We had business to do. For his part, from what I can tell, he is very good at what he does. And he is quite kind. Sometimes I wonder if that wouldn't be the better part of life, to a degree. I am pretty sure some of them, this one in particular, has some idea that he is different. I know to he has taken some serious barbs. I used to hate the people that teased, then I realized that unlike the man I met, those too are limited only... they don't know it. What a world.
Well, back to something or other. Have a good day.
A little heat was the trick.
.
.
Oh, it will still be a slow day. No nap though, and I think I can get to some of what was on my list. I don't think it was just hitting the furnace up for extra heat, the sun came out more fully and melted off some of the cold too I do believe, while also adding a dose of light to the mind chemistry lab. Perhaps my body, being a bit tired, just wasn't able to regulate. Then again, it was quite cold. I don't know if the thermometer told the whole story either.
I took a look at forks over knives. It seems to be advocating a non-meat diet. For me, that killed it. While I do believe in including whole grains, fresh-as-possible vegetables (uhrm, if I were to include vegetables and for others), I would never recommend eliminating or even reducing meats, meat fats, especially not red meats. Even if there was something in there, most people do not do a good job with their diet. All it takes is a quick stroll through a "health food" store to see what is wrong with most vegetarian diets. And, yes, they are as sick as they look. Beside being a ghastly pale, they often have little or no real muscle mass, are prone to illness, are weak physically, and cannot think well. With my heart condition I should be far lesser. Why is it that I am not? Meat, milk, cheese, and the rest, are what have sustained me. And, while obese, I am far fitter than most vegetarians, even disregarding my end stage heart failure! Further, even being quite ill, my natural inclination is to 'get to it', not sit and wait for the government to fix things. Why do you think most autocratic governments do their best to restrict meat consumption by their drone citizens? At least I looked. The people that advocate this scare me almost as much as the medical community, save psychiatry who should scare the hell out of any sane or supposedly insane man or woman. Hmm, actually the food NAZIs and psychiatry are about the same. Similar goals, different methods. Still, I need to hold my tongue. Wearing your heart on your sleeve is improper when dealing with the young.
Off to check on that door. Later.
.
Oh, it will still be a slow day. No nap though, and I think I can get to some of what was on my list. I don't think it was just hitting the furnace up for extra heat, the sun came out more fully and melted off some of the cold too I do believe, while also adding a dose of light to the mind chemistry lab. Perhaps my body, being a bit tired, just wasn't able to regulate. Then again, it was quite cold. I don't know if the thermometer told the whole story either.
I took a look at forks over knives. It seems to be advocating a non-meat diet. For me, that killed it. While I do believe in including whole grains, fresh-as-possible vegetables (uhrm, if I were to include vegetables and for others), I would never recommend eliminating or even reducing meats, meat fats, especially not red meats. Even if there was something in there, most people do not do a good job with their diet. All it takes is a quick stroll through a "health food" store to see what is wrong with most vegetarian diets. And, yes, they are as sick as they look. Beside being a ghastly pale, they often have little or no real muscle mass, are prone to illness, are weak physically, and cannot think well. With my heart condition I should be far lesser. Why is it that I am not? Meat, milk, cheese, and the rest, are what have sustained me. And, while obese, I am far fitter than most vegetarians, even disregarding my end stage heart failure! Further, even being quite ill, my natural inclination is to 'get to it', not sit and wait for the government to fix things. Why do you think most autocratic governments do their best to restrict meat consumption by their drone citizens? At least I looked. The people that advocate this scare me almost as much as the medical community, save psychiatry who should scare the hell out of any sane or supposedly insane man or woman. Hmm, actually the food NAZIs and psychiatry are about the same. Similar goals, different methods. Still, I need to hold my tongue. Wearing your heart on your sleeve is improper when dealing with the young.
Off to check on that door. Later.
Ugh!
.
.
I'm not sure how much I will actually get to today. I have lost a couple of pounds to facial tissues, sounding more like a bull elk than an ensnotted ogre. As well, I am still just a bit tired. I am not sure any of this has anything to do with my recent efforts, but more that this morning was so cold! Well, it felt that way. I finally gave up and jacked the furnace up. A bit of reading in Kindle and my blog roll. Then a call that took care of one of my problems, to a degree. I had wanted to get my online banking going, but mostly to get a bill in the works. Though... it is nice to see where my money is and how much is there. The people who I owe called, something about a bill and past due. Oh? Oh, right, that... was in the works I suggested. In any case that has been set up just as if I had been able to get online banking going. Done.
As to the rest? I'm having trouble getting to things. And, actually, being early enough, I may take a nap before going too much further. Maybe that will help me kick up a bit of dust, drill some holes, and tinker in other areas. No, it really isn't a physical sort of exhaustion, just the cold I think. Though that might be more noticeable because of an underlying physical tiredness I am not seeing on the surface. While it sounds like an excuse even to me, I've learned with the heart problem that... little or big unseen things can play a huge role in the living of a life.
Yep, a nap. Well... I want to look up that forks versus knives, or whatever. I am pretty sure there is some meat (hehe) in there for me. Dang vegians... I'll have to suggest to him, should we meet again, that I saved my last woman from such... He's a good young man though. I'll have to check his tweak meter for messing too much in the beginning. I think he would be a decent friend. At least... I recognize another young man I remember. The one I remember could be a bit touchy, and had some ego if humility too. That while no man can see one of his possible futures. Hmm.
Later.
.
I'm not sure how much I will actually get to today. I have lost a couple of pounds to facial tissues, sounding more like a bull elk than an ensnotted ogre. As well, I am still just a bit tired. I am not sure any of this has anything to do with my recent efforts, but more that this morning was so cold! Well, it felt that way. I finally gave up and jacked the furnace up. A bit of reading in Kindle and my blog roll. Then a call that took care of one of my problems, to a degree. I had wanted to get my online banking going, but mostly to get a bill in the works. Though... it is nice to see where my money is and how much is there. The people who I owe called, something about a bill and past due. Oh? Oh, right, that... was in the works I suggested. In any case that has been set up just as if I had been able to get online banking going. Done.
As to the rest? I'm having trouble getting to things. And, actually, being early enough, I may take a nap before going too much further. Maybe that will help me kick up a bit of dust, drill some holes, and tinker in other areas. No, it really isn't a physical sort of exhaustion, just the cold I think. Though that might be more noticeable because of an underlying physical tiredness I am not seeing on the surface. While it sounds like an excuse even to me, I've learned with the heart problem that... little or big unseen things can play a huge role in the living of a life.
Yep, a nap. Well... I want to look up that forks versus knives, or whatever. I am pretty sure there is some meat (hehe) in there for me. Dang vegians... I'll have to suggest to him, should we meet again, that I saved my last woman from such... He's a good young man though. I'll have to check his tweak meter for messing too much in the beginning. I think he would be a decent friend. At least... I recognize another young man I remember. The one I remember could be a bit touchy, and had some ego if humility too. That while no man can see one of his possible futures. Hmm.
Later.
On public discourse.
.
.
From retirement from almost any public life to a creeping social involvement, what was good yesterday is not so good today. The other day, in the locker, a discussion occurred. It matters not who started it. The thing is, what I write here, even the absolutely unquestionable bits, aren't best for public discourse. Perhaps if it is story time, and I have begun to know people, and in a more private setting. I don't know that I made a complete ass of myself, but... the thing could be called to be too close for comfort. And, being a bit nervous in even a small crowd of strangers, plus being a bit over sensitive about things, I can hope it wasn't all that bad, and probably it wasn't. It is just that... I have to figure out how to just keep my thoughts and history and stuff to myself, even if, perhaps more so, if someone else is telling their story and wanting to compare, or suggesting a bit I terribly disagree with.
He was saying that his body building career was much better as a vegan, a lad in his early 20s should I guess. And vegetarianism is... for me... a social evil, veganism a pagan religion. At least he isn't still a vegan, or even a vegetarian, and I didn't really chastise him... if I did voice some doubts and tossed in a bit of a brag from my youthful meat eating days. But I did bench 600! Well, 550 for sure, and I definitely ate meat, if I at least I didn't mention the 31 waist, too, if I thought about it. Another born Iowan, from not far from where I had been living last, too. Although we did have a good long conversation about better food, first. And some other interesting dialogue after. Whole grains and whatnot, we agreed, and of course home-cooking every bit of it as the best way, and he suggested a movie called forks vs. knives, or some such. Which I will investigate... it seems to go with my anti-medicine notion, and his. Some doctors seem to be getting on board with it. His aunt recently had a heart transplant, but the medicines which suppressed her immune reaction... allowed in cancer, directly. And, really, a decent seeming lad. While keeping my mouth shut is the only sure way, I suppose that isn't reasonable or my way in any case. So, I'm just going to have to relearn to skip a more reasoned verbal rope again. Never mind... Just a note from teh management.
You know sleep was great when you have a kink in your back from it! I didn't just sleep well, I slept long. The emergency, 10-hour, alarm is what woke me this morning. After 10 or 30 or something minutes of it going off, the girls started battering the door as well. Fine, it was well past time to get up, to be sure. I had waken at 3:30, and almost wasn't sure I would make it back to sleep. My body simply laughed at my silly notion of actually getting up and ducked back under the covers. I was asleep before any such other foolish notion popped back into my head. From 21:00 to 7:30, give or take, I slept hard, and well.
Today, as I have mentioned, is a slow day. If for no other reason, that sleep induced kink in my back has to be mollified. Next, the days of swimming and such are catching up to me. All good. My arms are seeming to be a bit tighter, even my chest is beginning to pull together a bit. Sore too are those muscles. Just a bit of pain in them, just enough to be pleasing. So far. I do think I will be in Friday again. I have, and am still, considering doing some forms of calisthenics on, probably, Wednesdays. In time. For now, and until I get a little loosened up, I think I will stick to the slow but sure swimming. I don't quite trust myself to pulling off a home exercise program yet.
Phone calls, today. And, most likely, the first coats of paint for the back room patches. I think I will drill out the anchor holes first, then clean those up as well, before beginning to paint. Thankfully, the anchor holes will be a very quick job, and if done correctly, quite painless. As well, I will see if I can tinker with the front door, to see if the hinge stopper can be adjusted so as to work properly at keeping the door from hitting the wall. If so, my job there will be done and I will look for any other door where that might be a problem, since I have several door stoppers available, either way. If I end up with more doors needing help than door-stops, I will simply buy more door stops next time I am in town.
Pleased. This weekend will be lower and slower. I don't want to just stop, however. House cleaning, laundry, and such. Perhaps a prep to begin Latin lessons Monday. Reading to be sure. I found another book authored by St. Thomas Aquinas that is said to be an introduction to his thoughts, I have decided to hit that first, actually. While I think the method I found for reading the Summa is fine, I just... want to hedge my bet on that. Simply put, I would like to read Summa Theologica, but remember having to try several times to finally read the Old Testament, the catechism, and a number of other books. I am going to try to read two different books at once. Only time will tell if that is possible for me again. If I recall correctly, three serious books at once was my limit. Then again, who is to say I did that all that well. I can't remember.
On to waking up and such. Good day.
.
From retirement from almost any public life to a creeping social involvement, what was good yesterday is not so good today. The other day, in the locker, a discussion occurred. It matters not who started it. The thing is, what I write here, even the absolutely unquestionable bits, aren't best for public discourse. Perhaps if it is story time, and I have begun to know people, and in a more private setting. I don't know that I made a complete ass of myself, but... the thing could be called to be too close for comfort. And, being a bit nervous in even a small crowd of strangers, plus being a bit over sensitive about things, I can hope it wasn't all that bad, and probably it wasn't. It is just that... I have to figure out how to just keep my thoughts and history and stuff to myself, even if, perhaps more so, if someone else is telling their story and wanting to compare, or suggesting a bit I terribly disagree with.
He was saying that his body building career was much better as a vegan, a lad in his early 20s should I guess. And vegetarianism is... for me... a social evil, veganism a pagan religion. At least he isn't still a vegan, or even a vegetarian, and I didn't really chastise him... if I did voice some doubts and tossed in a bit of a brag from my youthful meat eating days. But I did bench 600! Well, 550 for sure, and I definitely ate meat, if I at least I didn't mention the 31 waist, too, if I thought about it. Another born Iowan, from not far from where I had been living last, too. Although we did have a good long conversation about better food, first. And some other interesting dialogue after. Whole grains and whatnot, we agreed, and of course home-cooking every bit of it as the best way, and he suggested a movie called forks vs. knives, or some such. Which I will investigate... it seems to go with my anti-medicine notion, and his. Some doctors seem to be getting on board with it. His aunt recently had a heart transplant, but the medicines which suppressed her immune reaction... allowed in cancer, directly. And, really, a decent seeming lad. While keeping my mouth shut is the only sure way, I suppose that isn't reasonable or my way in any case. So, I'm just going to have to relearn to skip a more reasoned verbal rope again. Never mind... Just a note from teh management.
You know sleep was great when you have a kink in your back from it! I didn't just sleep well, I slept long. The emergency, 10-hour, alarm is what woke me this morning. After 10 or 30 or something minutes of it going off, the girls started battering the door as well. Fine, it was well past time to get up, to be sure. I had waken at 3:30, and almost wasn't sure I would make it back to sleep. My body simply laughed at my silly notion of actually getting up and ducked back under the covers. I was asleep before any such other foolish notion popped back into my head. From 21:00 to 7:30, give or take, I slept hard, and well.
Today, as I have mentioned, is a slow day. If for no other reason, that sleep induced kink in my back has to be mollified. Next, the days of swimming and such are catching up to me. All good. My arms are seeming to be a bit tighter, even my chest is beginning to pull together a bit. Sore too are those muscles. Just a bit of pain in them, just enough to be pleasing. So far. I do think I will be in Friday again. I have, and am still, considering doing some forms of calisthenics on, probably, Wednesdays. In time. For now, and until I get a little loosened up, I think I will stick to the slow but sure swimming. I don't quite trust myself to pulling off a home exercise program yet.
Phone calls, today. And, most likely, the first coats of paint for the back room patches. I think I will drill out the anchor holes first, then clean those up as well, before beginning to paint. Thankfully, the anchor holes will be a very quick job, and if done correctly, quite painless. As well, I will see if I can tinker with the front door, to see if the hinge stopper can be adjusted so as to work properly at keeping the door from hitting the wall. If so, my job there will be done and I will look for any other door where that might be a problem, since I have several door stoppers available, either way. If I end up with more doors needing help than door-stops, I will simply buy more door stops next time I am in town.
Pleased. This weekend will be lower and slower. I don't want to just stop, however. House cleaning, laundry, and such. Perhaps a prep to begin Latin lessons Monday. Reading to be sure. I found another book authored by St. Thomas Aquinas that is said to be an introduction to his thoughts, I have decided to hit that first, actually. While I think the method I found for reading the Summa is fine, I just... want to hedge my bet on that. Simply put, I would like to read Summa Theologica, but remember having to try several times to finally read the Old Testament, the catechism, and a number of other books. I am going to try to read two different books at once. Only time will tell if that is possible for me again. If I recall correctly, three serious books at once was my limit. Then again, who is to say I did that all that well. I can't remember.
On to waking up and such. Good day.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
You know, things really are going very well.
.
.
I won't tell you I am high as a kite or moving like a rocket. It isn't always easy, and the truth of the matter is I am still extremely sub-par to almost any other man or woman out there. Put in the perspective of my reality though, I am taking very solid baby steps. They are as big as I can take, as quickly as I can take them. They are the biggest boldest steps I have taken, without serious boosters, in 25 years or more now. But it IS hard work, for me. It is merely that I can do it. It has always been in my mind, my body just simply could not comply.
I keep wanting to do more, to see how far I can go, how much I can do. The other side of my mind wants me to proceed with extreme caution. It isn't so much that I might kill myself through exertion, my body... pretty much will shut me down before that. No, I am worried about thinking this is "the" time, and then taking a hard hit the next time I fall. Especially if this goes on for an extended period of time, like a year or two, and then I take a hit. The fall is bad, trying to remember how to get back up is murder. How do you balance something that has never happened before? How do you deal with the unknown? I suppose with a smile and as much grace, and faith, as you can muster?
I will go forward, just as far as I can. I will keep some caution, and doubt, too. But if I can simply put my things together, and get out that door, or put my hands to some work or other, or read and learn and think, I will do it gladly. I will push when I have to do so, within reason. I will be planning for more, keeping an eye on all the gauges while I do so though. Crap, who imagined becoming healthy being almost as frightening as being ill, more so? Yeah, well, fear is fine. It is what you do with fear that will mark you as a man or not? No, I would go forward either way. Not that I am fearless, or even brave, merely that I am a happy fool in the face of most things and just do what my making makes me do, if I can. Too rock dumb to know when to stay down, too, probably.
A bit of reading then to bed. Good night.
.
I won't tell you I am high as a kite or moving like a rocket. It isn't always easy, and the truth of the matter is I am still extremely sub-par to almost any other man or woman out there. Put in the perspective of my reality though, I am taking very solid baby steps. They are as big as I can take, as quickly as I can take them. They are the biggest boldest steps I have taken, without serious boosters, in 25 years or more now. But it IS hard work, for me. It is merely that I can do it. It has always been in my mind, my body just simply could not comply.
I keep wanting to do more, to see how far I can go, how much I can do. The other side of my mind wants me to proceed with extreme caution. It isn't so much that I might kill myself through exertion, my body... pretty much will shut me down before that. No, I am worried about thinking this is "the" time, and then taking a hard hit the next time I fall. Especially if this goes on for an extended period of time, like a year or two, and then I take a hit. The fall is bad, trying to remember how to get back up is murder. How do you balance something that has never happened before? How do you deal with the unknown? I suppose with a smile and as much grace, and faith, as you can muster?
I will go forward, just as far as I can. I will keep some caution, and doubt, too. But if I can simply put my things together, and get out that door, or put my hands to some work or other, or read and learn and think, I will do it gladly. I will push when I have to do so, within reason. I will be planning for more, keeping an eye on all the gauges while I do so though. Crap, who imagined becoming healthy being almost as frightening as being ill, more so? Yeah, well, fear is fine. It is what you do with fear that will mark you as a man or not? No, I would go forward either way. Not that I am fearless, or even brave, merely that I am a happy fool in the face of most things and just do what my making makes me do, if I can. Too rock dumb to know when to stay down, too, probably.
A bit of reading then to bed. Good night.
Not bad. Not even too tired.
.
.
My second day into the pool. In some ways it was easier today, in other ways it was harder. My natural inclination to push is overcoming my wanting to take it easy until I get my pool legs and wind back. No, I am not counting laps, or half laps. I am simply doing what I can do. Then again maybe this time I am simply in better shape than when I started last time. That might explain why I am not hurting too much, or suffering other problems? Ritalin covered for me last time, but it hurt, hard. This time is just going well. Though I might have pushed really hard last time too? I can't remember, exactly. I am still having problems with the lockers. I might just have to rent a keyed one. I did ask about their towels. After being assured I was just fine, I am going to begin using theirs. I will take mine, just in case, but that should ease my concerns and troubles just a bit. It all helps.
After the swim, I headed in to get the paint. A quart was as little as they could mix, which was just fine. While waiting for them to do the mixing I wandered the store. I knew there were little things I wanted or needed. I even remembered something I had thought to gift my friend. I needed several door limiters. I found two that might do. One is the spring rod type, the other goes on the door hinge. Hmm... As I look at the door... I think it will have to be the spring bar. My door HAS one of the others attached. Then again, maybe it could be adjusted. If not, oh well. :p For my friend I purchased a drill like bit piece for the Dremel he bought. I have one, of each, and really like the auto-chuck. After that store I ended up at the gourmet supply store, for butter keepers. I have been looking at them for a long time, and knew the two I wanted were on Amazon. As it turns out they had this and this one, the two I had on my wish list. One was cheaper, the other more expensive, but there was no shipping and returns if needed are much easier. Plus, I prefer to shop locally, I just won't be robbed to do it. If I had remembered them in time I would have looked at their eggbeaters. I ordered one through Amazon already. If I don't like the one I get I may end up back at that store for one of those too. Next a stop at my favored grocery store. Milk, sour cream, more of the easier to use (and better) Amish butter (same price or less than my regular butter, you just have to buy more at once). That will go right into the butter crock. Yeah, I'm going old school, hard.
My friend called, just as I was leaving the gym. He asked if I was in town, and if so if I was coming over. I told him I planned to come by Friday, that I had things I needed to do today. Oh, okay. Ever feel like you kicked a puppy? I had no choice though. I just better damn well make it Friday! And, I think I will. Tomorrow? Business. I am going to call about resetting or fixing the one bank internet page. I am also going to call about my mortgage. I may also take care of some very old business. As well, I am going to try to call my brother, again. The lad must be busy! Well, and I will read.
Yet tonight I hope to finish up a few dishes and begin thawing meat. Spaghetti and meat sauce sounds good. So does a roast and some steak. Meat, meat, and more meat. I AM getting hungry. For meat. I'll try to put some other stuff in there with it, but no promises. YUM!
Later.
.
My second day into the pool. In some ways it was easier today, in other ways it was harder. My natural inclination to push is overcoming my wanting to take it easy until I get my pool legs and wind back. No, I am not counting laps, or half laps. I am simply doing what I can do. Then again maybe this time I am simply in better shape than when I started last time. That might explain why I am not hurting too much, or suffering other problems? Ritalin covered for me last time, but it hurt, hard. This time is just going well. Though I might have pushed really hard last time too? I can't remember, exactly. I am still having problems with the lockers. I might just have to rent a keyed one. I did ask about their towels. After being assured I was just fine, I am going to begin using theirs. I will take mine, just in case, but that should ease my concerns and troubles just a bit. It all helps.
After the swim, I headed in to get the paint. A quart was as little as they could mix, which was just fine. While waiting for them to do the mixing I wandered the store. I knew there were little things I wanted or needed. I even remembered something I had thought to gift my friend. I needed several door limiters. I found two that might do. One is the spring rod type, the other goes on the door hinge. Hmm... As I look at the door... I think it will have to be the spring bar. My door HAS one of the others attached. Then again, maybe it could be adjusted. If not, oh well. :p For my friend I purchased a drill like bit piece for the Dremel he bought. I have one, of each, and really like the auto-chuck. After that store I ended up at the gourmet supply store, for butter keepers. I have been looking at them for a long time, and knew the two I wanted were on Amazon. As it turns out they had this and this one, the two I had on my wish list. One was cheaper, the other more expensive, but there was no shipping and returns if needed are much easier. Plus, I prefer to shop locally, I just won't be robbed to do it. If I had remembered them in time I would have looked at their eggbeaters. I ordered one through Amazon already. If I don't like the one I get I may end up back at that store for one of those too. Next a stop at my favored grocery store. Milk, sour cream, more of the easier to use (and better) Amish butter (same price or less than my regular butter, you just have to buy more at once). That will go right into the butter crock. Yeah, I'm going old school, hard.
My friend called, just as I was leaving the gym. He asked if I was in town, and if so if I was coming over. I told him I planned to come by Friday, that I had things I needed to do today. Oh, okay. Ever feel like you kicked a puppy? I had no choice though. I just better damn well make it Friday! And, I think I will. Tomorrow? Business. I am going to call about resetting or fixing the one bank internet page. I am also going to call about my mortgage. I may also take care of some very old business. As well, I am going to try to call my brother, again. The lad must be busy! Well, and I will read.
Yet tonight I hope to finish up a few dishes and begin thawing meat. Spaghetti and meat sauce sounds good. So does a roast and some steak. Meat, meat, and more meat. I AM getting hungry. For meat. I'll try to put some other stuff in there with it, but no promises. YUM!
Later.
Alrighty?
.
.
Pushing to get things done in order to get to swimming. I am not in a huge rush, it is merely that trying to start doing things, even with a window of plus or minus several hours, is... actually proving to be something to which I have to pay pretty close conscious attention. It isn't like most of my life, to date, where I could just do things when I could. Oh, sure, I can do this once in a while, with a couples of weeks build up to the date and sometimes with help on top of that. This is different. And if swimming is maintainable, it will be a three time a week thing, at least. Yes it does make me nervous. I know I did it in college, but even that was different. And I only actually ever did that half well when taking Ritalin. This is freefall, baby.
First thing this morning, I looked up tickets, and ordered those, for my mother's flight. I didn't like what was available. There was little choice, however, so I took what I could. If she doesn't like it, I did purchase insurance so that she can try to reschedule. The confirmation email has been forwarded to her guy. I then got the paint chips off the wall and ceiling. That ended up being easier than it at first seemed, using a razorknife. I knew I wouldn't be doing a circle, it just didn't look like that would work. A square, and just cutting in as little as possible, cutting from each side a bit at a time, and... as close to a postage stamp as I could get, and the squares came off intact. Those are in an envelope and ready to be processed. Then I tried to call my brother. No one was home, again. I didn't leave a message this time though. Finally I reordered my swimming kit. I had a few things more than I needed, and the towel was still damp so I changed that out. I'll have to remember to put those in the dryer when I come home. I doubt if they need a real wash, save when I am washing for the week... every other week... or monthly... as the case may be. I'm sort of in a new life possibility, so I don't know if home needs will be tended better or not. I am, after all, still a guy. Stereotypes about guys and home tending exist for a reason, you know.
In the next few days, tomorrow for sure, I hope to figure out my online banking problem. One bank works fine, the other is completely broken. Once I do that, and can look at my harvest, I will then decide whether to go ahead with the first load of purchases for the seedlings. Hmm, actually, I might do that now. I know I can, it's just I hate to do things blindly either way. Oh, and while I am going to town today, I should put a bit of money it at city hall in order to at least catch up on that bill. So much to do. I seem to keep adding to the list faster than I can check things off. And there are things on the list that are far overdue as well! Bleh... But, I am here, now, and working well enough. One thing at a time. And I have gotten quite a number of things done.
Good day.
.
Pushing to get things done in order to get to swimming. I am not in a huge rush, it is merely that trying to start doing things, even with a window of plus or minus several hours, is... actually proving to be something to which I have to pay pretty close conscious attention. It isn't like most of my life, to date, where I could just do things when I could. Oh, sure, I can do this once in a while, with a couples of weeks build up to the date and sometimes with help on top of that. This is different. And if swimming is maintainable, it will be a three time a week thing, at least. Yes it does make me nervous. I know I did it in college, but even that was different. And I only actually ever did that half well when taking Ritalin. This is freefall, baby.
First thing this morning, I looked up tickets, and ordered those, for my mother's flight. I didn't like what was available. There was little choice, however, so I took what I could. If she doesn't like it, I did purchase insurance so that she can try to reschedule. The confirmation email has been forwarded to her guy. I then got the paint chips off the wall and ceiling. That ended up being easier than it at first seemed, using a razorknife. I knew I wouldn't be doing a circle, it just didn't look like that would work. A square, and just cutting in as little as possible, cutting from each side a bit at a time, and... as close to a postage stamp as I could get, and the squares came off intact. Those are in an envelope and ready to be processed. Then I tried to call my brother. No one was home, again. I didn't leave a message this time though. Finally I reordered my swimming kit. I had a few things more than I needed, and the towel was still damp so I changed that out. I'll have to remember to put those in the dryer when I come home. I doubt if they need a real wash, save when I am washing for the week... every other week... or monthly... as the case may be. I'm sort of in a new life possibility, so I don't know if home needs will be tended better or not. I am, after all, still a guy. Stereotypes about guys and home tending exist for a reason, you know.
In the next few days, tomorrow for sure, I hope to figure out my online banking problem. One bank works fine, the other is completely broken. Once I do that, and can look at my harvest, I will then decide whether to go ahead with the first load of purchases for the seedlings. Hmm, actually, I might do that now. I know I can, it's just I hate to do things blindly either way. Oh, and while I am going to town today, I should put a bit of money it at city hall in order to at least catch up on that bill. So much to do. I seem to keep adding to the list faster than I can check things off. And there are things on the list that are far overdue as well! Bleh... But, I am here, now, and working well enough. One thing at a time. And I have gotten quite a number of things done.
Good day.
Oh, right, another day. Swimming?
.
.
Yes, of course. To bed a little before 21:00, up at 5:30 just naturally, vitals and medicine taken, the girls have been fed, and I wake. Nothing fancy today. I am pretty sure I will get to the pool. It took a bit of digging to find things about St. Jerome, but I deed, I deed! First, they aren't open to services until the 13th, second, it doesn't look like they have mid-week masses, or if they do they are at the same time as my Church so wouldn't be a benefit should I otherwise miss Mass except on Sundays (though I won't swear to that, but it matters not a bit today since they definitely haven't re-opened). So, while I'm fina Mass, no Mass today. Hopefully I will still be up for a swim Friday and nothing else happens to interfere. Hey, when your water isn't running and the temps are freezing... you really have to handle that.
I'm still not sure what all is happening today, aside from swimming and a visit to the grocery store. Will a movie go with? Or will I instead obtain paint chips of the appropriate size and deal with that instead? I'm leaning toward dealing with the stores today, since Mass is out anyway, and saving the movie for Friday. That will make a Friday outing longer, starting with Mass, then swimming, then a visit to my friends. But it will be easier. Swimming, stores, and home, today... Yes, yes I think so.
Hmm, I best wake up. I had just a bite or three for breakfast, which is fine by me. As long as I get something into my gullet before hurting or needing I can head off a feast mode dining experience. With meds, vitals, the girls and my face fed, I merely need to clear their litter and my dailies are done. I need to get paint samples and make an attempt to call my brother this morning and then I will be set for the rest of the day. I will have to hit the kitchen again, if that might wait until the weekend. I really still can only do just so much, if that is an almost astounding and becoming regular amount compared to my history. And it is January for heaven's sake. I should be hibernating. Oh, I may also check on tickets for my mother's visit. A bit into June, she thinks, would be best. Okies...
Later.
.
Yes, of course. To bed a little before 21:00, up at 5:30 just naturally, vitals and medicine taken, the girls have been fed, and I wake. Nothing fancy today. I am pretty sure I will get to the pool. It took a bit of digging to find things about St. Jerome, but I deed, I deed! First, they aren't open to services until the 13th, second, it doesn't look like they have mid-week masses, or if they do they are at the same time as my Church so wouldn't be a benefit should I otherwise miss Mass except on Sundays (though I won't swear to that, but it matters not a bit today since they definitely haven't re-opened). So, while I'm fina Mass, no Mass today. Hopefully I will still be up for a swim Friday and nothing else happens to interfere. Hey, when your water isn't running and the temps are freezing... you really have to handle that.
I'm still not sure what all is happening today, aside from swimming and a visit to the grocery store. Will a movie go with? Or will I instead obtain paint chips of the appropriate size and deal with that instead? I'm leaning toward dealing with the stores today, since Mass is out anyway, and saving the movie for Friday. That will make a Friday outing longer, starting with Mass, then swimming, then a visit to my friends. But it will be easier. Swimming, stores, and home, today... Yes, yes I think so.
Hmm, I best wake up. I had just a bite or three for breakfast, which is fine by me. As long as I get something into my gullet before hurting or needing I can head off a feast mode dining experience. With meds, vitals, the girls and my face fed, I merely need to clear their litter and my dailies are done. I need to get paint samples and make an attempt to call my brother this morning and then I will be set for the rest of the day. I will have to hit the kitchen again, if that might wait until the weekend. I really still can only do just so much, if that is an almost astounding and becoming regular amount compared to my history. And it is January for heaven's sake. I should be hibernating. Oh, I may also check on tickets for my mother's visit. A bit into June, she thinks, would be best. Okies...
Later.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
I am always surprised about some things.
.
.
I know not all have read the bible. Probably only a few have, from beginning to end. I have, many times now. Last summer saw to, I think, the second but probably third reading of the OT and... the fifth or sixth reading of the NT, not including times I have read the book for a particular reason, hearing the words in Church on other occasions. I have read the KJV, the RSV (or something), and now the Catholic standard edition. I have the Douay-Rheims, on Kindle, and hope to give that a whirl before too long as well. Latin would be nice to hit the Vulgate, but... that might be quite some time off. Oh, I should get to Latin Lessons too. I did say I would in January. Urhm... it's... definitely January! I know I read the NT through, the first time, before I was 12. Many writers quote from the bible as well. The bible is infused into much of life, if many don't even realize it. Not just in words, either. The ideas, and living parts of things in the bible, are cultural edifices and habits and even what some think of as superstitions. Still, there are some people I just assume have read the bible who haven't? Yeah, I was and remain a bit geeky though, in some ways.
A bit more reading, and I have stayed up to within my goal times. Tired, though. But it's a healthy natural sleepiness, not a weariness born on endless nothingness. It is amazing, seeing what I do in this transition stage. I can still clearly remember not being able to... well... remember, among other things. I am still not fit. That will take time, and it may never truly occur fully. I will have to become physically fit, as part of it. I will have to become mentally functional as another part of it. And of course my health will have to become stable, regular, over a period of time to allow those other things to happen. All of those are a lot for any plate. Further, I fear, that as a 40-something, I will never know the breadth of what I knew, how I was, when in my 20s. I will be waking to age. I won't let that stop me from being what I can with what I have though. There is still potential there. That is, of course, if this is truly turning a corner, and assuming I don't meet a speeding bus as I turn the corner. Heh! I've... almost had worse.
Hmm, on to bed. Definitely good night this time.
.
I know not all have read the bible. Probably only a few have, from beginning to end. I have, many times now. Last summer saw to, I think, the second but probably third reading of the OT and... the fifth or sixth reading of the NT, not including times I have read the book for a particular reason, hearing the words in Church on other occasions. I have read the KJV, the RSV (or something), and now the Catholic standard edition. I have the Douay-Rheims, on Kindle, and hope to give that a whirl before too long as well. Latin would be nice to hit the Vulgate, but... that might be quite some time off. Oh, I should get to Latin Lessons too. I did say I would in January. Urhm... it's... definitely January! I know I read the NT through, the first time, before I was 12. Many writers quote from the bible as well. The bible is infused into much of life, if many don't even realize it. Not just in words, either. The ideas, and living parts of things in the bible, are cultural edifices and habits and even what some think of as superstitions. Still, there are some people I just assume have read the bible who haven't? Yeah, I was and remain a bit geeky though, in some ways.
A bit more reading, and I have stayed up to within my goal times. Tired, though. But it's a healthy natural sleepiness, not a weariness born on endless nothingness. It is amazing, seeing what I do in this transition stage. I can still clearly remember not being able to... well... remember, among other things. I am still not fit. That will take time, and it may never truly occur fully. I will have to become physically fit, as part of it. I will have to become mentally functional as another part of it. And of course my health will have to become stable, regular, over a period of time to allow those other things to happen. All of those are a lot for any plate. Further, I fear, that as a 40-something, I will never know the breadth of what I knew, how I was, when in my 20s. I will be waking to age. I won't let that stop me from being what I can with what I have though. There is still potential there. That is, of course, if this is truly turning a corner, and assuming I don't meet a speeding bus as I turn the corner. Heh! I've... almost had worse.
Hmm, on to bed. Definitely good night this time.
Will the old boy make it?
.
.
Oh, I think I'll do just fine. I am taking it easy today if there really isn't a great need. I will probably be taking things rather easy the first week or two of getting back into the water. After that, if all goes well, I will begin adding elements of work and play into my routine as available and possible. I do believe I will be back in the pool tomorrow. Unfortunately there is no Mass tomorrow... though I ought to recheck that. Perhaps there is one at the Church near the college? I am feeling good though.
I did feel a great need for a nap. Having waken early this morning, what... 3:30? And going to bed around 20:30 or 21:00, sleep was short. The choice was simple. Either take a nap early enough, and try to keep it short, or skip the notion. A nap, even after reading with the day lamp a goodly bit, became a necessity. So at 11:00 I slept. I set the alarm to wake me at 13:00, but woke a bit before due to the call from the water pills. Still being a bit out, I reset the alarm for 14:00. I woke at 13:30ish, and though still tired I didn't want to damage my night sleep and I hate that stupid alarm waking me. So I simply rose and... tinkered.
Reading has been a very good companion lately. Vox's book, for now, is getting the brunt of my efforts. I am very well pleased with the book. I recognize many of the past author's his lead character and surrounding dignitaries discuss, even when Vox shies them with pseudo names. I would suggest, even, some of the main characters are past authors of whom I know, and at least one of them enjoy quite dearly. There might be others I might otherwise recognize save that I have not heard them described physically or vocally. I can think of a few who might otherwise fit some literary or intellectual styles, however. It is quite the game guessing who is being discussed at any time. He really ought to write a book just... going over the notes... suggesting who he used for this or that, when he chooses not to use anything like their real names. Some of us few might be interested.
The book itself, as I am seeing things so far, is a question (or really large grouping of questions with a very central theme), wrapped by very pretty clothing. The tale is well written, well done, and to my tastes. Usually the flow is rather natural. There have been a few instances where I thought things might have been artificial, but... that happens in real life. He has a very good notion of things, and things, in life and art, that I both understand, appreciate myself, and abide as truths and quirks and allsuch. No, no, I am enjoying the book quite some little bit. I will... when I finish, should I think on it, give it a right proper review. And, no, I don't give this to Vox. I give no man nothing he does not earn or deserve. Period. Besides, I disagree with him at least as often as I abide, or on some big things anyway. As it should be.
So, swimming tomorrow. Perhaps I will take a movie along as well. I may try again for the paint, as well. Which means procuring a quarter (actually larger if my eyes are true) paint chip from the various surfaces. Oh, and I didn't buy the door stop nor stop at the grocery store. Hmm, no, I don't want to do too much in town tomorrow. I think, for tomorrow, I will stick with trying to get to the store for milk, and leave the paint and door stop for Friday. Yes, but a movie either tomorrow or Friday? Hmm... I think Friday. Though I may change my mind, as I will be trying to get to Mass Friday as well. Bah! I'm working on it folks.
I will stay up for supper. And then perhaps read just a bit more. My will is to stay up until at least 20:00, though 21:00 would be preferable. And then it will be time to slide into home base. I am, again this evening, ready for sleep. I could probably go to bed right now. But I am sorely hankering to gain some control over sleep while medicines are finally doing their part without the hammering exhaustion and swimming is going forward, along with reading. Yes, a small storm of successes, to be sure.
Good night, now, though. I probably won't make it back to the machine. My life, finally, is actually wearing me out, but I think in the right ways... Blessings and sweet dreams.
.
Oh, I think I'll do just fine. I am taking it easy today if there really isn't a great need. I will probably be taking things rather easy the first week or two of getting back into the water. After that, if all goes well, I will begin adding elements of work and play into my routine as available and possible. I do believe I will be back in the pool tomorrow. Unfortunately there is no Mass tomorrow... though I ought to recheck that. Perhaps there is one at the Church near the college? I am feeling good though.
I did feel a great need for a nap. Having waken early this morning, what... 3:30? And going to bed around 20:30 or 21:00, sleep was short. The choice was simple. Either take a nap early enough, and try to keep it short, or skip the notion. A nap, even after reading with the day lamp a goodly bit, became a necessity. So at 11:00 I slept. I set the alarm to wake me at 13:00, but woke a bit before due to the call from the water pills. Still being a bit out, I reset the alarm for 14:00. I woke at 13:30ish, and though still tired I didn't want to damage my night sleep and I hate that stupid alarm waking me. So I simply rose and... tinkered.
Reading has been a very good companion lately. Vox's book, for now, is getting the brunt of my efforts. I am very well pleased with the book. I recognize many of the past author's his lead character and surrounding dignitaries discuss, even when Vox shies them with pseudo names. I would suggest, even, some of the main characters are past authors of whom I know, and at least one of them enjoy quite dearly. There might be others I might otherwise recognize save that I have not heard them described physically or vocally. I can think of a few who might otherwise fit some literary or intellectual styles, however. It is quite the game guessing who is being discussed at any time. He really ought to write a book just... going over the notes... suggesting who he used for this or that, when he chooses not to use anything like their real names. Some of us few might be interested.
The book itself, as I am seeing things so far, is a question (or really large grouping of questions with a very central theme), wrapped by very pretty clothing. The tale is well written, well done, and to my tastes. Usually the flow is rather natural. There have been a few instances where I thought things might have been artificial, but... that happens in real life. He has a very good notion of things, and things, in life and art, that I both understand, appreciate myself, and abide as truths and quirks and allsuch. No, no, I am enjoying the book quite some little bit. I will... when I finish, should I think on it, give it a right proper review. And, no, I don't give this to Vox. I give no man nothing he does not earn or deserve. Period. Besides, I disagree with him at least as often as I abide, or on some big things anyway. As it should be.
So, swimming tomorrow. Perhaps I will take a movie along as well. I may try again for the paint, as well. Which means procuring a quarter (actually larger if my eyes are true) paint chip from the various surfaces. Oh, and I didn't buy the door stop nor stop at the grocery store. Hmm, no, I don't want to do too much in town tomorrow. I think, for tomorrow, I will stick with trying to get to the store for milk, and leave the paint and door stop for Friday. Yes, but a movie either tomorrow or Friday? Hmm... I think Friday. Though I may change my mind, as I will be trying to get to Mass Friday as well. Bah! I'm working on it folks.
I will stay up for supper. And then perhaps read just a bit more. My will is to stay up until at least 20:00, though 21:00 would be preferable. And then it will be time to slide into home base. I am, again this evening, ready for sleep. I could probably go to bed right now. But I am sorely hankering to gain some control over sleep while medicines are finally doing their part without the hammering exhaustion and swimming is going forward, along with reading. Yes, a small storm of successes, to be sure.
Good night, now, though. I probably won't make it back to the machine. My life, finally, is actually wearing me out, but I think in the right ways... Blessings and sweet dreams.
What to do?
.
.
It is a new year and all. Not being a leap year, that gives me a full deck of days to play with. If all my decks were full, it would be a glorious thing. Even so, it looks like a few new and a few old aces are being added to my, if still, skimpy deck. I don't depend on aces, and other good cards have been added as well. The game should be getting at least easier to play. Of course with easier play, the focus might shift from playing at all to who, where, and when to play, how to play, and the much more complicated notions. All good though. It's all I asked to be able to do.
Awake at 3:30, if I really would have rather slept a little longer. I have pushed my advance into days a little quickly though, so this will do. It will make for a long day, but since it is to be a slower day, that might work perfectly. I am going to begin actually trying to work on getting to sleep, staying up full days, and cataloging my attempts, what works for me, and such. It isn't a scientific thing, if I will be implementing what of science I may. Simply what works for me won't work for others, necessarily.
Oh, and another notion? As my bp comes down, at some point I may be offered Ritalin again. To be absolutely honest, right here at the start or even for another few months to see if I really can kick things off myself... I would reject the notion. I would, after all this time, turn down Ritalin, at least until I get a chance to dig myself out of my hole with my own two hands. I am already doing what it took Ritalin to begin, but on my own. I may not be hitting it as hard, if I suspect I may be. I am not doing as much but I am not feeling overclocked, either. Nope, I like this pace. If bp (111/84 today) holds, and I can keep going on swimming and keep the house up mostly, I won't mess with that. However, if I end up stumbling really harshly, yet can maintain bp, I will have no problem trying Ritalin again. Medicine free, first, though, since I am right on that... Gosh I hate meds... I do.
.
It is a new year and all. Not being a leap year, that gives me a full deck of days to play with. If all my decks were full, it would be a glorious thing. Even so, it looks like a few new and a few old aces are being added to my, if still, skimpy deck. I don't depend on aces, and other good cards have been added as well. The game should be getting at least easier to play. Of course with easier play, the focus might shift from playing at all to who, where, and when to play, how to play, and the much more complicated notions. All good though. It's all I asked to be able to do.
Awake at 3:30, if I really would have rather slept a little longer. I have pushed my advance into days a little quickly though, so this will do. It will make for a long day, but since it is to be a slower day, that might work perfectly. I am going to begin actually trying to work on getting to sleep, staying up full days, and cataloging my attempts, what works for me, and such. It isn't a scientific thing, if I will be implementing what of science I may. Simply what works for me won't work for others, necessarily.
Oh, and another notion? As my bp comes down, at some point I may be offered Ritalin again. To be absolutely honest, right here at the start or even for another few months to see if I really can kick things off myself... I would reject the notion. I would, after all this time, turn down Ritalin, at least until I get a chance to dig myself out of my hole with my own two hands. I am already doing what it took Ritalin to begin, but on my own. I may not be hitting it as hard, if I suspect I may be. I am not doing as much but I am not feeling overclocked, either. Nope, I like this pace. If bp (111/84 today) holds, and I can keep going on swimming and keep the house up mostly, I won't mess with that. However, if I end up stumbling really harshly, yet can maintain bp, I will have no problem trying Ritalin again. Medicine free, first, though, since I am right on that... Gosh I hate meds... I do.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Too early to sleep. Oh, and Happy New Year!
.
.
I really wanted to crash a bit earlier, after dinner. I decided to push it just a bit longer, to try to fill the day. So much, though, for staying up until midnight. I did that last week though! Heh...
Dinner was quite good. When I was told it was stuffed peppers, with couscous... I just thanked. From my attempts at producing couscous, I had trepidation. However, the woman who cooked this has surprised me with things I "didn't like" before. I was certainly not going to turn down a chance to see if I had missed something with a particular ingredient before either. Not without a taste. I love it when people trick me. Delicious. Odd how you have to try something in so many ways to find a way you might like it. I actually hate not liking a food. I'm a collector, of sorts.
On another issue, I am noticing something. I am truly beginning to quicken, again. My flesh is beginning to heal. As it does something is happening. As the mind and body begin to knit, something else is beginning to grow... or... waken. I must precede with some caution. Not for my health, for my soul or at least for my adherence to Truth. Yes, boys and girls, after 25 years of near death, something is stirring. Something powerful, potentially quite dark, and it will own me if I let it. Actually, it will have it's way from time to time in any case. How do you mature a 20-something by twenty some years in a year or two? The flesh remembers when it went to sleep, as does whatever else... is in there. A healthy body with some of the advantages it has and that I have garnered... Yes, a concern. A real one. I'll be praying about this, and seeking... answers otherwise. There have to be others who have gone through this. Yes, I think I am on the heal, hard, fast, sure. Remember who you are. Always remember. But through the rages of hormones and vitality that will be striking me like a high summer sun after having been buried in ice for decades? Remember...
As well, women are becoming possible again. The next woman needs to be the right one. No, not a soul mate for whatever that might mean. She has to be able to bear children. She has to know God first, she can never be mine otherwise. And she will have to be strong enough to handle what my seed produces. Further, she will have to be strong enough to handle me. I can crush a typical woman with a whim, a thought, even a look. No, I will have to be careful. I don't mind carrying my woman from time to time, but I can't... won't... carry her over every little thing. She will have to be well self-possessed, albeit within the frame of a woman. Hmm, I'm thinking on this. I can smell a woman, I just can't tell by her scent if she is strong enough. Oh, I don't do this just for my sake, but for her... soul, very possibly. My children will be a test that makes me seem simple.
Perhaps it's all just tall tales. What was it they say? Ah, prepare for the worst, advance as if for the best... or some such.
Well, I think bedtime is reasonable now. At 20:00, all is well. Sleep should be easy. To those of you who stay up and ring in the New Year, I hope you enjoy. For the rest of you party poopers? Enjoy your sleep. I know I will be. I vote "partypooper" with my... feet. Heh. Good night.
.
I really wanted to crash a bit earlier, after dinner. I decided to push it just a bit longer, to try to fill the day. So much, though, for staying up until midnight. I did that last week though! Heh...
Dinner was quite good. When I was told it was stuffed peppers, with couscous... I just thanked. From my attempts at producing couscous, I had trepidation. However, the woman who cooked this has surprised me with things I "didn't like" before. I was certainly not going to turn down a chance to see if I had missed something with a particular ingredient before either. Not without a taste. I love it when people trick me. Delicious. Odd how you have to try something in so many ways to find a way you might like it. I actually hate not liking a food. I'm a collector, of sorts.
On another issue, I am noticing something. I am truly beginning to quicken, again. My flesh is beginning to heal. As it does something is happening. As the mind and body begin to knit, something else is beginning to grow... or... waken. I must precede with some caution. Not for my health, for my soul or at least for my adherence to Truth. Yes, boys and girls, after 25 years of near death, something is stirring. Something powerful, potentially quite dark, and it will own me if I let it. Actually, it will have it's way from time to time in any case. How do you mature a 20-something by twenty some years in a year or two? The flesh remembers when it went to sleep, as does whatever else... is in there. A healthy body with some of the advantages it has and that I have garnered... Yes, a concern. A real one. I'll be praying about this, and seeking... answers otherwise. There have to be others who have gone through this. Yes, I think I am on the heal, hard, fast, sure. Remember who you are. Always remember. But through the rages of hormones and vitality that will be striking me like a high summer sun after having been buried in ice for decades? Remember...
As well, women are becoming possible again. The next woman needs to be the right one. No, not a soul mate for whatever that might mean. She has to be able to bear children. She has to know God first, she can never be mine otherwise. And she will have to be strong enough to handle what my seed produces. Further, she will have to be strong enough to handle me. I can crush a typical woman with a whim, a thought, even a look. No, I will have to be careful. I don't mind carrying my woman from time to time, but I can't... won't... carry her over every little thing. She will have to be well self-possessed, albeit within the frame of a woman. Hmm, I'm thinking on this. I can smell a woman, I just can't tell by her scent if she is strong enough. Oh, I don't do this just for my sake, but for her... soul, very possibly. My children will be a test that makes me seem simple.
Perhaps it's all just tall tales. What was it they say? Ah, prepare for the worst, advance as if for the best... or some such.
Well, I think bedtime is reasonable now. At 20:00, all is well. Sleep should be easy. To those of you who stay up and ring in the New Year, I hope you enjoy. For the rest of you party poopers? Enjoy your sleep. I know I will be. I vote "partypooper" with my... feet. Heh. Good night.
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