.
.
Not as much else as hoped, either. I did get the major portion of dishes set up, plus cleaned out the sinks, mostly, and a counter. I was done a while ago, I just kept going and did some of the things hoped. No shower, which would have been nice. But five or six for the week, I would guess. I deserve a day off. My feet were drying so badly, again, finally, that I had to balm them. They are much better than they were, just not quite up to snuff. A few more days, over the next week or two, and they will be fine. If, too, it got very dry recently. Hard to keep up on it all.
I already had my fatted coffee, the extra. I am a bit hungry still. I wonder what I have that would be almost no calories. Cabbage? Steamed? I ought to check. Yes. Three cups of cabbage, with a tablespoon of butter, is 153 calories, most of it the butter. Still, that would do. Cabbage fills well. I will have to guesstimate on size, but three cups is... a decent portion. I just have to have something else.
I'm seeing stars. See them from time to time. Not sure it has anything to do with food, a lack of it, but it can. It shouldn't this time. Not sure what it is about, but food may help. It will make me feel better in other ways anyway. I am hungry, physically, strangely. Later. Or good night? Unless food picks me up and I can do a bit more work.
Saturday, September 5, 2020
It's 90 out there.
.
.
But a very nice 90? Yes, actually. I went out to watch the ducks. I just sat on one of the chairs and soaked in a bit of the warmth. I wouldn't want to work out there, but warming from the 60's and 70's inside is actually not bad. I may try to do that several times a day until it gets too cold, then try to continue, only dressed more for that. It is a good day. It would be an excellent backdrop for prayer sessions too. Not every time, maybe. But... sometimes.
I called my mother. She didn't answer. I left a short message. Not sure she gets them. Still, it was set up, so... She had been napping. Hadn't meant to sleep two hours. Sleep will be difficult, maybe, tonight, she suggested. I told her my preferred naps are two hours long. She is simply still too spritely for that! :p But she did sound well. Especially for having just awaken.
Not a lot. A bit of news, here and there. Some family matters. Food is often discussed. Just a bit of checking on health and all. It sounds like she is doing well. Oh, and she... might have information I have been seeking. I won't discuss it, just in case. Things have a way of being altered these days. Enemies with some potency, connections, and intent, work against my will. Not that it matters, in the end. Some things cannot be undone. But, it can become more difficult to do. It's already been rather difficult.
Dishes! Not all, yet, but a goodly half of what was put in has been finished and is air drying. Another load remains. Two washes, a rinse, and drying the first half to two thirds. After the last load, I will take a shower, then set up the final load of dishes... or close. It is getting so much closer. I am excited. No extra work, such as sweeping or counters. Though honestly I am surprised I am doing what I am doing.
I am considering a nap. Maybe? I just don't know. But after the last bit of this current load of dishes. A nap, then a shower and shave, and putting in the nearly last load. Then counters? Sweeping? Cleaning the shelving downstairs so as to take the food stores? All, several, one, none? I have hopes for at least two out of the three. I have higher hopes for all three. They aren't really difficult chores. But they might require some time. Hmm... I'll prepare a folding chair to go down for cleaning the shelves.
Later.
.
But a very nice 90? Yes, actually. I went out to watch the ducks. I just sat on one of the chairs and soaked in a bit of the warmth. I wouldn't want to work out there, but warming from the 60's and 70's inside is actually not bad. I may try to do that several times a day until it gets too cold, then try to continue, only dressed more for that. It is a good day. It would be an excellent backdrop for prayer sessions too. Not every time, maybe. But... sometimes.
I called my mother. She didn't answer. I left a short message. Not sure she gets them. Still, it was set up, so... She had been napping. Hadn't meant to sleep two hours. Sleep will be difficult, maybe, tonight, she suggested. I told her my preferred naps are two hours long. She is simply still too spritely for that! :p But she did sound well. Especially for having just awaken.
Not a lot. A bit of news, here and there. Some family matters. Food is often discussed. Just a bit of checking on health and all. It sounds like she is doing well. Oh, and she... might have information I have been seeking. I won't discuss it, just in case. Things have a way of being altered these days. Enemies with some potency, connections, and intent, work against my will. Not that it matters, in the end. Some things cannot be undone. But, it can become more difficult to do. It's already been rather difficult.
Dishes! Not all, yet, but a goodly half of what was put in has been finished and is air drying. Another load remains. Two washes, a rinse, and drying the first half to two thirds. After the last load, I will take a shower, then set up the final load of dishes... or close. It is getting so much closer. I am excited. No extra work, such as sweeping or counters. Though honestly I am surprised I am doing what I am doing.
I am considering a nap. Maybe? I just don't know. But after the last bit of this current load of dishes. A nap, then a shower and shave, and putting in the nearly last load. Then counters? Sweeping? Cleaning the shelving downstairs so as to take the food stores? All, several, one, none? I have hopes for at least two out of the three. I have higher hopes for all three. They aren't really difficult chores. But they might require some time. Hmm... I'll prepare a folding chair to go down for cleaning the shelves.
Later.
Some things.
.
.
Lunch, some dishes, a food log review, and... more to come.
I had a pork roast out, thawed, so I cooked that this morning. With it being forecast to get hot, I wasn't so sure about cooking. Yea, about that heat? It is still 68 in this front room, having had the machine on for parts of the morning, and me out here. I still have one window open. It is almost cold in here. But I'll take it. I sawed off a chunk, when it was done. Almost tore into it, but I really didn't have a good feel for how much was on the plate. So... I tared the plate, then weighed the meat. At 11.1 ounces, I then put that into the food log app. More calories than I thought, at 805 calories... yes, I included the .1 ounce! Which took it over the 800 mark.
I am having a fatted coffee. I plan on another yet today. At 85 calories, all fat, it's... good for a fasting and strong keto day. And it cuts the hunger just a bit, of both sorts. I also counted up my hits and misses, calories wise. While I did hit it hard Friday, going way over the line, I have done so well so often that I am about 2,250 calories below, even with Friday, for the last seven days to today. And, that counts two fatted coffees for today. I wasn't, not all of it, meaning to cut calories. I either couldn't cook, or didn't have enough clean to prepare meals, or simply couldn't eat. Two days of fasting, sure, but... the rest was incidental... accidental?
As for proteins, fats, and carbs? I am a bit low on fats (as I try to develop ketosis). But that will be fine once in ketosis, for weight loss purposes. The rest are pretty good. Three over on carbs, but as a start, it's... pretty good. I didn't realize how many carbs milk has. I... will have to cut that almost completely. I just can't have it, way too many carbs. Live and learn.
I kept resetting the dishes, and then refilling to cold! Gah! I finally got that done, correctly. Then put away the half of that lot mostly finished then left to air dry. Finally, I finished the rest of that lot today. Then two portions of utensils were put in to wash. An hour timer has been set, to hit those. I think I will be able to get those done today, if it will take two washings and a rinse. Then a shower, shave, rest, between their final wash and rinse. Then I will set up the last load of dishes.
When that is set, I will begin hitting other counters and surfaces. I would like to begin collecting trash, sweeping a few areas, check the litter. Ugh. Maybe. Goals. I am crashing though. A nap in there somewhere too. I am hoping to get caught up today. I am getting there, sort of, slowly. I just... I wish I could really dig in. So tired. Later.
.
Lunch, some dishes, a food log review, and... more to come.
I had a pork roast out, thawed, so I cooked that this morning. With it being forecast to get hot, I wasn't so sure about cooking. Yea, about that heat? It is still 68 in this front room, having had the machine on for parts of the morning, and me out here. I still have one window open. It is almost cold in here. But I'll take it. I sawed off a chunk, when it was done. Almost tore into it, but I really didn't have a good feel for how much was on the plate. So... I tared the plate, then weighed the meat. At 11.1 ounces, I then put that into the food log app. More calories than I thought, at 805 calories... yes, I included the .1 ounce! Which took it over the 800 mark.
I am having a fatted coffee. I plan on another yet today. At 85 calories, all fat, it's... good for a fasting and strong keto day. And it cuts the hunger just a bit, of both sorts. I also counted up my hits and misses, calories wise. While I did hit it hard Friday, going way over the line, I have done so well so often that I am about 2,250 calories below, even with Friday, for the last seven days to today. And, that counts two fatted coffees for today. I wasn't, not all of it, meaning to cut calories. I either couldn't cook, or didn't have enough clean to prepare meals, or simply couldn't eat. Two days of fasting, sure, but... the rest was incidental... accidental?
As for proteins, fats, and carbs? I am a bit low on fats (as I try to develop ketosis). But that will be fine once in ketosis, for weight loss purposes. The rest are pretty good. Three over on carbs, but as a start, it's... pretty good. I didn't realize how many carbs milk has. I... will have to cut that almost completely. I just can't have it, way too many carbs. Live and learn.
I kept resetting the dishes, and then refilling to cold! Gah! I finally got that done, correctly. Then put away the half of that lot mostly finished then left to air dry. Finally, I finished the rest of that lot today. Then two portions of utensils were put in to wash. An hour timer has been set, to hit those. I think I will be able to get those done today, if it will take two washings and a rinse. Then a shower, shave, rest, between their final wash and rinse. Then I will set up the last load of dishes.
When that is set, I will begin hitting other counters and surfaces. I would like to begin collecting trash, sweeping a few areas, check the litter. Ugh. Maybe. Goals. I am crashing though. A nap in there somewhere too. I am hoping to get caught up today. I am getting there, sort of, slowly. I just... I wish I could really dig in. So tired. Later.
A very good sleep.
.
.
To bed at 20:00. I set alarms, one for six, one for eight. I was pretty much awake at six, but hit the snooze a couple of times. Being awake isn't always being agreeable to it. It isn't a lack of sleep, it is the station of the day, predawn. I'm not used to being awake in it. Waking to it? Something. I had to use a flashlight to get up, then turn on a light to get dressed.
It was 69 upstairs and down and just a degree less in the computer front this room. It is 45 outside, if it often drops just a bit right near or after sunup. Not always, that latter, but often enough... usual if my observations and memory pan out. I only had two windows and a back screen door open. I have opened the front door, to get it cooler. I didn't want the girls to freeze if it got really cold down here, is why I didn't open everything up.
It is a beautiful day. I should spend more time in it. A good time to contemplate, pray generally, or just sit quietly. Especially with it being the right sort of cool to enjoy, probably with a jacket, out in the air. I am just waiting to die, might as well enjoy it. It won't probably be a quick death, or an easy one. But, for the world, in the world, I am done. For that, I have no allies. Many enemies.
I will get back to work today. It won't be fast. I just can't function well. Still, bit by bit it is getting chipped away, done. And, with a few things in place, I am less likely to fall that far back on tasks. Mostly. I am hungry, but I don't think it is bodily hunger. It is just the idea. A fatted coffee will do for the morning. That will be all, save perhaps another fatted drink later today. Fasting today and tomorrow? It's, roughly, the plan. If I can't swing it, I'll try eating lighter again today, and fasting tomorrow and Monday. If I can't, I can't.
Dishes, again, reset soon, then hopefully getting those done, and counters. Sweeping in the bathroom, and clearing and cleaning. Then clearing counters and the stovetop, and cleaning those. That is all I am going to plan, and hope to do. I am not sure even that is possible. So tired. No illness or pain today. Sleep helped on that end, the tiredness isn't of the sleep variety. Perhaps I should eat. I'll... think on things. Wake a bit. If I will set up the dishes and set an alarm for when to hit those. Later.
.
To bed at 20:00. I set alarms, one for six, one for eight. I was pretty much awake at six, but hit the snooze a couple of times. Being awake isn't always being agreeable to it. It isn't a lack of sleep, it is the station of the day, predawn. I'm not used to being awake in it. Waking to it? Something. I had to use a flashlight to get up, then turn on a light to get dressed.
It was 69 upstairs and down and just a degree less in the computer front this room. It is 45 outside, if it often drops just a bit right near or after sunup. Not always, that latter, but often enough... usual if my observations and memory pan out. I only had two windows and a back screen door open. I have opened the front door, to get it cooler. I didn't want the girls to freeze if it got really cold down here, is why I didn't open everything up.
It is a beautiful day. I should spend more time in it. A good time to contemplate, pray generally, or just sit quietly. Especially with it being the right sort of cool to enjoy, probably with a jacket, out in the air. I am just waiting to die, might as well enjoy it. It won't probably be a quick death, or an easy one. But, for the world, in the world, I am done. For that, I have no allies. Many enemies.
I will get back to work today. It won't be fast. I just can't function well. Still, bit by bit it is getting chipped away, done. And, with a few things in place, I am less likely to fall that far back on tasks. Mostly. I am hungry, but I don't think it is bodily hunger. It is just the idea. A fatted coffee will do for the morning. That will be all, save perhaps another fatted drink later today. Fasting today and tomorrow? It's, roughly, the plan. If I can't swing it, I'll try eating lighter again today, and fasting tomorrow and Monday. If I can't, I can't.
Dishes, again, reset soon, then hopefully getting those done, and counters. Sweeping in the bathroom, and clearing and cleaning. Then clearing counters and the stovetop, and cleaning those. That is all I am going to plan, and hope to do. I am not sure even that is possible. So tired. No illness or pain today. Sleep helped on that end, the tiredness isn't of the sleep variety. Perhaps I should eat. I'll... think on things. Wake a bit. If I will set up the dishes and set an alarm for when to hit those. Later.
Friday, September 4, 2020
Just not doing much or quickly.
.
.
The highest I saw it outside was 90° or maybe 92°. At the warmest, so far, the main is 72° and this front room is 76°. The upstairs is probably 66°. It was supposed to get into the high 90°s, possibly the 100°s. Not here. And I'm good with it. Now, it doesn't get warmer even so until later. And it is cooling off in a hurry. At 18:20, it is down to 82°. All doubly good.
The ducks seem to be splitting, naturally, into their various groups. It had to happen. I just hope there doesn't come a time of fighting. My old drake, the last male indian runner, would lose. And, yet, he wouldn't surrender without a fight. The muscovy drakes are massive, three times his size, maybe more. He wouldn't win, probably wouldn't survive. So far that hasn't happened.
I was a bit surprised at the calories and such for short ribs. Three of them, and a glass of milk plus half a cup of corn with butter was half of my daily calories. That wasn't even a pound, that was about 9 ounces of meat is all. I went light thinking it would be all good. Oh, on the good side, I had planned to have that as the majority of my food today. So it won't disturb my dietary peace.
I keep learning about the app, about food, so much surprises... baffles. If I eat too much, at least I'll know it. And, as mentioned, my absolute first goal is to be honest... as honest as I know how to be... about putting food in. It seems to be bearing out though. Sometimes a guesstimate is as close as it gets. I don't know if it will truly lead to weight loss. But if something can, along with keto, perhaps intermittent fasting, it would be this. Now, with this and intermittent fasting, I could have a larger meal all at once. I may intermittent fast a few days a week, do regular meals a few days a week, and completely fast two days a week, or three days every other week. Some of it is ability. I can't always do as planned. But with variability, I might be able to keep up? I can try.
I re-re-reset dishes a bit ago. Yeah, moving slowly. I checked on the ducks, which is how I noted they are grouping into breeds. I thought I had noticed that, but couldn't be as sure until today. This time I could more plainly see the whole particular area... no hidden spots where the other ducks might have been. I am sort of surprised I haven't seen any of the ducks in the trees. Yes, they can fly up and roost. I don't think the drakes can, but... maybe with extra and slow, plodding, effort they can join the ladies.
I would like to hit the dishes, maybe have a last fatted coffee or tea, and then... no nap. I'll stay up until the ducks are ready to rest, then just go on to bed. I may try to do a full rosary tonight, then do more prayer. I am reading about meditative prayer, trying to get that going. I won't work on that tonight, but will work on that tomorrow, and Sunday. As well, I may see about getting to church sometime soon. And confession. Actually confession first. It's... been a while. Then Mass can be properly attended. I am going to try to pray more through the day. Perhaps even put in on a timer. Two rosaries, a regular longer not prayer, short morning prayers, and a few fivers through the day, perhaps a fifteen minute to half hour set aside for meditative prayer? Something. There is a lot of time in the day, you just have to use it, consciously.
Later. Or good night.
.
The highest I saw it outside was 90° or maybe 92°. At the warmest, so far, the main is 72° and this front room is 76°. The upstairs is probably 66°. It was supposed to get into the high 90°s, possibly the 100°s. Not here. And I'm good with it. Now, it doesn't get warmer even so until later. And it is cooling off in a hurry. At 18:20, it is down to 82°. All doubly good.
The ducks seem to be splitting, naturally, into their various groups. It had to happen. I just hope there doesn't come a time of fighting. My old drake, the last male indian runner, would lose. And, yet, he wouldn't surrender without a fight. The muscovy drakes are massive, three times his size, maybe more. He wouldn't win, probably wouldn't survive. So far that hasn't happened.
I was a bit surprised at the calories and such for short ribs. Three of them, and a glass of milk plus half a cup of corn with butter was half of my daily calories. That wasn't even a pound, that was about 9 ounces of meat is all. I went light thinking it would be all good. Oh, on the good side, I had planned to have that as the majority of my food today. So it won't disturb my dietary peace.
I keep learning about the app, about food, so much surprises... baffles. If I eat too much, at least I'll know it. And, as mentioned, my absolute first goal is to be honest... as honest as I know how to be... about putting food in. It seems to be bearing out though. Sometimes a guesstimate is as close as it gets. I don't know if it will truly lead to weight loss. But if something can, along with keto, perhaps intermittent fasting, it would be this. Now, with this and intermittent fasting, I could have a larger meal all at once. I may intermittent fast a few days a week, do regular meals a few days a week, and completely fast two days a week, or three days every other week. Some of it is ability. I can't always do as planned. But with variability, I might be able to keep up? I can try.
I re-re-reset dishes a bit ago. Yeah, moving slowly. I checked on the ducks, which is how I noted they are grouping into breeds. I thought I had noticed that, but couldn't be as sure until today. This time I could more plainly see the whole particular area... no hidden spots where the other ducks might have been. I am sort of surprised I haven't seen any of the ducks in the trees. Yes, they can fly up and roost. I don't think the drakes can, but... maybe with extra and slow, plodding, effort they can join the ladies.
I would like to hit the dishes, maybe have a last fatted coffee or tea, and then... no nap. I'll stay up until the ducks are ready to rest, then just go on to bed. I may try to do a full rosary tonight, then do more prayer. I am reading about meditative prayer, trying to get that going. I won't work on that tonight, but will work on that tomorrow, and Sunday. As well, I may see about getting to church sometime soon. And confession. Actually confession first. It's... been a while. Then Mass can be properly attended. I am going to try to pray more through the day. Perhaps even put in on a timer. Two rosaries, a regular longer not prayer, short morning prayers, and a few fivers through the day, perhaps a fifteen minute to half hour set aside for meditative prayer? Something. There is a lot of time in the day, you just have to use it, consciously.
Later. Or good night.
I keep trying.
.
.
A few more things.
Part of the dishes were done. Half. The rest had to be reset. Moving slow.
Then I tried to do some checking for phones online. But I couldn't get through. I was able to reset the password, and the four digit security number, but then it wanted a security question answer. I have never set that up, and it should have allowed me to sign in without that. As with the bank, I think my phone company is keeping me off. Essentially, the American version of the Chinese social credit system is in play. It is corporate instead of state run. Mostly. The state does have some involvement though, thus ssd drop.
I then tried to contact my friend. The contact which might have had her information suggested she wasn't there anymore, and managers suggested they didn't recall her. I can't tell if that is her trying to be hidden, or if she hasn't been there in many years. Last I heard, and not many years ago, she was still there. Time does have a way of catching up with us though. I have one last means of potential contact. It's... unlikely.
Oh, and someone keeps visiting blog posts, where music has been removed. Some or all songs are gone. I am assuming they are doing this to let me know they are successfully attacking my blog. I wouldn't have known, otherwise. I almost never go back and look. So be it, but... it... has led me to contemplate some changes.
It is impossible to know who friends really are. Evil masquerades as friends, in thought and action. It's just the way the world works.
Dinner is being cooked. I hope to have that, then maybe a nap, and then back to a bit of work.
Later.
.
A few more things.
Part of the dishes were done. Half. The rest had to be reset. Moving slow.
Then I tried to do some checking for phones online. But I couldn't get through. I was able to reset the password, and the four digit security number, but then it wanted a security question answer. I have never set that up, and it should have allowed me to sign in without that. As with the bank, I think my phone company is keeping me off. Essentially, the American version of the Chinese social credit system is in play. It is corporate instead of state run. Mostly. The state does have some involvement though, thus ssd drop.
I then tried to contact my friend. The contact which might have had her information suggested she wasn't there anymore, and managers suggested they didn't recall her. I can't tell if that is her trying to be hidden, or if she hasn't been there in many years. Last I heard, and not many years ago, she was still there. Time does have a way of catching up with us though. I have one last means of potential contact. It's... unlikely.
Oh, and someone keeps visiting blog posts, where music has been removed. Some or all songs are gone. I am assuming they are doing this to let me know they are successfully attacking my blog. I wouldn't have known, otherwise. I almost never go back and look. So be it, but... it... has led me to contemplate some changes.
It is impossible to know who friends really are. Evil masquerades as friends, in thought and action. It's just the way the world works.
Dinner is being cooked. I hope to have that, then maybe a nap, and then back to a bit of work.
Later.
I just can't get out today.
.
.
I... just... can't. So very tired. Still, hoping to do a few things. Dishes, a shower, more dishes set up, a meal... the grill is going for that last. I sorted my amazon order. It looks like almost everything is here. I'm not in much mood to do more with it. And, I misunderstood some things. I ordered what I thought was a standard amount of some things, and it was less. It will do, for now.
I got an excellent price on bulk tomato paste in the tube, and anchovies in the tube. Metal tubes, they last. And I use them, will use them more now. If I have some folk I know will use some and so will offer them a few. Family people... can always use a bit extra. As well, my darning egg and wool arrived. I will begin going through my older woolens, and spot repairing for winter. I've not done this before. My last lady friend started doing this, and it... got me to thinking. So, here I am. Thanks, AA!
I have been meaning to call her. I've been running into difficulties. Of course, as with all numbers, I lost hers... along with my old phone. I have her address, or... the address she had when last I knew. But, then, I realized I knew where, probably, assuming not too much has changed, where I might contact her. So... actually, after a few setbacks there, I may try to call there again today.
I will have to try to get the phone set up tomorrow or Monday. Way too tired. On the good side, between this and that, I have done a good bit of work. The cave is still very rough, but everything is moving along rather well. If I can get dishes done, and the bathroom and surfaces complete, yet this weekend, I will be way ahead of last week. Way, very far, ahead. In just about every way. Laundry to cleaning to dishes to groceries, to... you name it.
Ah, the ducks which might have been male or female? All but sure they are female. They were on platforms about seven feet off the ground, in the hutch, when I opened up today. While males can fly, they don't fly well or high. Too big. This all be ensures that my upward bound runaways are females. I'm not sure why the smaller females haven't flown. Perhaps they simply haven't grown fast enough to gain flight yet. My guess is they will, all the muscovy femmes, nest up there. I will have to consider putting up a loft type flat ladder, in order to collect some eggs. It will give them a nice place to go broody though. And they are meat birds, so... all good, mostly. Still, a few eggs, since they lay even in winter where the indian runners don't, would be nice.
Later.
.
I... just... can't. So very tired. Still, hoping to do a few things. Dishes, a shower, more dishes set up, a meal... the grill is going for that last. I sorted my amazon order. It looks like almost everything is here. I'm not in much mood to do more with it. And, I misunderstood some things. I ordered what I thought was a standard amount of some things, and it was less. It will do, for now.
I got an excellent price on bulk tomato paste in the tube, and anchovies in the tube. Metal tubes, they last. And I use them, will use them more now. If I have some folk I know will use some and so will offer them a few. Family people... can always use a bit extra. As well, my darning egg and wool arrived. I will begin going through my older woolens, and spot repairing for winter. I've not done this before. My last lady friend started doing this, and it... got me to thinking. So, here I am. Thanks, AA!
I have been meaning to call her. I've been running into difficulties. Of course, as with all numbers, I lost hers... along with my old phone. I have her address, or... the address she had when last I knew. But, then, I realized I knew where, probably, assuming not too much has changed, where I might contact her. So... actually, after a few setbacks there, I may try to call there again today.
I will have to try to get the phone set up tomorrow or Monday. Way too tired. On the good side, between this and that, I have done a good bit of work. The cave is still very rough, but everything is moving along rather well. If I can get dishes done, and the bathroom and surfaces complete, yet this weekend, I will be way ahead of last week. Way, very far, ahead. In just about every way. Laundry to cleaning to dishes to groceries, to... you name it.
Ah, the ducks which might have been male or female? All but sure they are female. They were on platforms about seven feet off the ground, in the hutch, when I opened up today. While males can fly, they don't fly well or high. Too big. This all be ensures that my upward bound runaways are females. I'm not sure why the smaller females haven't flown. Perhaps they simply haven't grown fast enough to gain flight yet. My guess is they will, all the muscovy femmes, nest up there. I will have to consider putting up a loft type flat ladder, in order to collect some eggs. It will give them a nice place to go broody though. And they are meat birds, so... all good, mostly. Still, a few eggs, since they lay even in winter where the indian runners don't, would be nice.
Later.
Calls, arrangements, and failures.
.
.
I can't sign in to my bank. So that is gone.
Blood sugar was higher, 165 fasting. Not bad, given all my sins and excesses yesterday. Today will be much better. I did weigh before anything, if I didn't mention? 274.6? I think so. Anyway... I'll keep tracking. Fasting may be much more viable. Beside as a faith thing, it works well for losing weight and controlling diabetes. Some gifts truly are elegant.
I was able to contact the V.A., but they couldn't just send test strips and a new glucometer. The pharmacy is contacting my doctor. There is that. If that is odd.
And, I finally got through to my mortgage company. It took a many efforts. It kept failing to allow access. And I will need to check on it, both online and by calling services through them, to make sure what is supposed to have happened has happened. But, if it works, I am finally on automatic pay. Further, I am putting more against the loan than is necessary. It makes it about a fifteen year loan. Though, too, I checked what would make it a ten year loan. I am not sure I can afford that, but... I am... will be... looking that over.
Next, dishes. If they are still warm enough. Perhaps something to eat. I'm not quite ready for a full day of fasting today. Hmm, not sure what is thawed or otherwise easily available. Duck eggs, but I'm not in the mood for that. Eggs on salad though? I'll figure something out. I have found some of the packaging for return items. And it sounds like my amazon order arrived. It arrived while busy.
Dishes, a shower, a fresh shave, and then to town. Ah, but food. I am hungry. Don't want to tempt myself with fast food. As horrible as it might be, it... does feed a hungry belly a bit too easily. I am hoping there is meat thawed. Cooking takes a bit, but is so worth it. Ah! I kept the beef ribs out! I need to repackage them. There are enough for a couple of meals, and change. I suppose they would make a excellent dinner. What with it thought? Green beans? Corn? Oh, how about a small salad? The dressing I made the other day was splendid. Those and a glass of milk should do splendidly.
Okay... it looks like I canceled the single pay, and the recurring payment is good. Bleh... I'll still recheck in a week or so, and call in to make sure... you can't trust anyone or any machine, but a couple of checks sometimes is enough to keep them honest. They really love to eat you alive, and will if given half a chance. Later.
.
I can't sign in to my bank. So that is gone.
Blood sugar was higher, 165 fasting. Not bad, given all my sins and excesses yesterday. Today will be much better. I did weigh before anything, if I didn't mention? 274.6? I think so. Anyway... I'll keep tracking. Fasting may be much more viable. Beside as a faith thing, it works well for losing weight and controlling diabetes. Some gifts truly are elegant.
I was able to contact the V.A., but they couldn't just send test strips and a new glucometer. The pharmacy is contacting my doctor. There is that. If that is odd.
And, I finally got through to my mortgage company. It took a many efforts. It kept failing to allow access. And I will need to check on it, both online and by calling services through them, to make sure what is supposed to have happened has happened. But, if it works, I am finally on automatic pay. Further, I am putting more against the loan than is necessary. It makes it about a fifteen year loan. Though, too, I checked what would make it a ten year loan. I am not sure I can afford that, but... I am... will be... looking that over.
Next, dishes. If they are still warm enough. Perhaps something to eat. I'm not quite ready for a full day of fasting today. Hmm, not sure what is thawed or otherwise easily available. Duck eggs, but I'm not in the mood for that. Eggs on salad though? I'll figure something out. I have found some of the packaging for return items. And it sounds like my amazon order arrived. It arrived while busy.
Dishes, a shower, a fresh shave, and then to town. Ah, but food. I am hungry. Don't want to tempt myself with fast food. As horrible as it might be, it... does feed a hungry belly a bit too easily. I am hoping there is meat thawed. Cooking takes a bit, but is so worth it. Ah! I kept the beef ribs out! I need to repackage them. There are enough for a couple of meals, and change. I suppose they would make a excellent dinner. What with it thought? Green beans? Corn? Oh, how about a small salad? The dressing I made the other day was splendid. Those and a glass of milk should do splendidly.
Okay... it looks like I canceled the single pay, and the recurring payment is good. Bleh... I'll still recheck in a week or so, and call in to make sure... you can't trust anyone or any machine, but a couple of checks sometimes is enough to keep them honest. They really love to eat you alive, and will if given half a chance. Later.
Up and at it pretty well.
.
.
I hurt, today. Innards, lower back, a few other places. Not as bad as recently. I never did take aspirin. Forgot. I may today. Just to get the edge off. It hurts pretty solidly.
To bed by around 01:00, maybe up to an half hour after? I just can't be sure. Awake at between 08:00 and an half after, if I didn't get up until 08:30 give or take ten. It was 70° near me, but only 66° in the main of t he upstairs. It is 62° in the front room and 64° in the main... with everything still open, while 62° outdoors. It is supposed to get into the 90°s out there over the next few days, perhaps breaking the 100°s, if I won't hold my breath. It may, but they haven't been very good at this game.
I filled tea containers, started a fresh pot of tea, reset dishes to a hot soak, set a timer for when to hit the dishes, and closed up some of the windows. Two windows remain, and the front door, open to receive the last of the cool. I love fresh air when I can get it. Fans going, but dressed for that level of cool. It is a good start.
I'm not sure what I will have for breakfast, but I have some good choices. I may grill a few hotdogs, add the last of the burger goulash, and have a boiled duck egg... or maybe fry one. That and a fatted tea. I am thinking of fasting over the weekend. A day, two, with a fatted coffee or three. It seems to work. I could try for three day fasts, I'm not sure I am quite ready for those.
Weighing in at 274.4 this morning. I ate a bit extra yesterday, so had actually thought it might be higher. A treat, if a rare one. I was hoping to wait until after a bm, but it didn't brew faster than my hunger, so... :p It will come down, especially if I can fast and stay more active. Oh, I didn't log dinner last night, or treats. I'll do that. Not sure if it allows adding for previous days. I guess I will learn more about the app today, too.
Dishes, a shower, and... I did trim the whiskers, then later shaved yesterday. I may shave again today. Shaving a few days in a row sort of... keeps the beard at bay for a bit longer. If it can develop ingrown follicles... it's certainly more prone to do so. Exchanging the phone today, as well. I'll let the ducks out, and feed the girls, in a bit. What else? Hmm... I don't know. While not fasting the whole day, I may skip a meal today. I really hit it yesterday, if mostly sticking to keto.
Oh, I best call the V.A. My glucometer is on the fritz. I have replaced the battery twice, but that just isn't the problem. Good thing I didn't order new sticks, they might not have fit the new device. The numbers aren't correct, and I think the average is off, way off. I've been mostly 125 for a week, and the average is sticking around 155. Then again, perhaps the readings are off. I just don't know.
Later.
.
I hurt, today. Innards, lower back, a few other places. Not as bad as recently. I never did take aspirin. Forgot. I may today. Just to get the edge off. It hurts pretty solidly.
To bed by around 01:00, maybe up to an half hour after? I just can't be sure. Awake at between 08:00 and an half after, if I didn't get up until 08:30 give or take ten. It was 70° near me, but only 66° in the main of t he upstairs. It is 62° in the front room and 64° in the main... with everything still open, while 62° outdoors. It is supposed to get into the 90°s out there over the next few days, perhaps breaking the 100°s, if I won't hold my breath. It may, but they haven't been very good at this game.
I filled tea containers, started a fresh pot of tea, reset dishes to a hot soak, set a timer for when to hit the dishes, and closed up some of the windows. Two windows remain, and the front door, open to receive the last of the cool. I love fresh air when I can get it. Fans going, but dressed for that level of cool. It is a good start.
I'm not sure what I will have for breakfast, but I have some good choices. I may grill a few hotdogs, add the last of the burger goulash, and have a boiled duck egg... or maybe fry one. That and a fatted tea. I am thinking of fasting over the weekend. A day, two, with a fatted coffee or three. It seems to work. I could try for three day fasts, I'm not sure I am quite ready for those.
Weighing in at 274.4 this morning. I ate a bit extra yesterday, so had actually thought it might be higher. A treat, if a rare one. I was hoping to wait until after a bm, but it didn't brew faster than my hunger, so... :p It will come down, especially if I can fast and stay more active. Oh, I didn't log dinner last night, or treats. I'll do that. Not sure if it allows adding for previous days. I guess I will learn more about the app today, too.
Dishes, a shower, and... I did trim the whiskers, then later shaved yesterday. I may shave again today. Shaving a few days in a row sort of... keeps the beard at bay for a bit longer. If it can develop ingrown follicles... it's certainly more prone to do so. Exchanging the phone today, as well. I'll let the ducks out, and feed the girls, in a bit. What else? Hmm... I don't know. While not fasting the whole day, I may skip a meal today. I really hit it yesterday, if mostly sticking to keto.
Oh, I best call the V.A. My glucometer is on the fritz. I have replaced the battery twice, but that just isn't the problem. Good thing I didn't order new sticks, they might not have fit the new device. The numbers aren't correct, and I think the average is off, way off. I've been mostly 125 for a week, and the average is sticking around 155. Then again, perhaps the readings are off. I just don't know.
Later.
Thursday, September 3, 2020
Almost some of it?
.
.
I was late getting out. I meant to run hot water on the dishes, so as to get to them. I lost track. It ran all the hot water out. But... I still needed a shower. I had to request a later pickup. Which was fine by them. But it also meant I only had time to get the water warm enough to shower. After showering, I did run hot water back over the dishes.
I had hoped most of the food would fit in the cooler. Not so much, if the guy didn't really try. Fair enough, only half of it would have fit. With that, there was no way I was going to Verizon. It takes them hours to do anything. I don't know if the workers are all new, or just... not motivated. No way was I going to let food rot while I tried to get a phone going. Tomorrow.
Everything is in and put up. But a nap would be good. Dinner should be good.
I am done with work, effort, for the day. Tomorrow I hope to finish the dishes. I should have all the room I need for stacking the mostly hand dried items. Another shower before I go out. More dishes set to soak. Perhaps a few counters if I wake early enough, and the stovetop. Laundry is done. I'll... get there.
If I can't hike this week, next. But I want everything done this week, hike or no. So a few days of light work will get me ready to go out on some path. I'll need to set up a small pack. Some food, water, warm/dry clothes. No map will really help out there. But I do know north from south, east from west, by lay of land. That isn't always the best, or enough. If were I am going it should be okay. And I won't be going far. A few hours, max, in. And at a slower pace.
Yea, a nap. Later.
.
I was late getting out. I meant to run hot water on the dishes, so as to get to them. I lost track. It ran all the hot water out. But... I still needed a shower. I had to request a later pickup. Which was fine by them. But it also meant I only had time to get the water warm enough to shower. After showering, I did run hot water back over the dishes.
I had hoped most of the food would fit in the cooler. Not so much, if the guy didn't really try. Fair enough, only half of it would have fit. With that, there was no way I was going to Verizon. It takes them hours to do anything. I don't know if the workers are all new, or just... not motivated. No way was I going to let food rot while I tried to get a phone going. Tomorrow.
Everything is in and put up. But a nap would be good. Dinner should be good.
I am done with work, effort, for the day. Tomorrow I hope to finish the dishes. I should have all the room I need for stacking the mostly hand dried items. Another shower before I go out. More dishes set to soak. Perhaps a few counters if I wake early enough, and the stovetop. Laundry is done. I'll... get there.
If I can't hike this week, next. But I want everything done this week, hike or no. So a few days of light work will get me ready to go out on some path. I'll need to set up a small pack. Some food, water, warm/dry clothes. No map will really help out there. But I do know north from south, east from west, by lay of land. That isn't always the best, or enough. If were I am going it should be okay. And I won't be going far. A few hours, max, in. And at a slower pace.
Yea, a nap. Later.
Oh, about that app...
.
.
After a bit of looking, it may be possible to get the app to work on the computer as well. The requirement is that I have a Samsung smartphone of a certain sort. I have that, but will be exchanging that today. I suppose I will have to review what smartphones they have, which might work. I do like this app, it will be worth some extra checking.
The grocery store called. There were a few items on my order which weren't fully available. The bigger items missing made it much less expensive, the smaller added expenses were minor, plus I was able to order the button batteries I need for my glucometer, and to pay back the loan of such. I am rather excited to go in and just pick up my groceries! Much more convenient, for all involved.
After picking that up, I will head to the phone company, see about a new phone. I'll be able to transfer everything, I hope, and just factory wipe the new old phone. I'll get everything packaged for a return tomorrow. If it all works. Yes, a smartphone. But that one app makes it worth the... troubles. Bleh. Though I have a stargazer app I am learning to enjoy as well. I finally know where the north star is, how to find it, and can find it easily with incomplete data. A small thing, but just a start.
Oh, blood sugar is 121 several hours after breakfast. I did only have one, and skinless, chicken thigh, I guess that was right. All good!
I'd like to hit the dishes before I go, then get a shower. I'm not sure I can get them all, but I should be able to get to much. If I have time, on the way out, I will put another major load in to soak. If not, when I return. Then a nap. Life is doing well. I wonder if I will get hit by a meteor, meteorite, comet? on the way home, or out? Meh, I'd survive it, AND have a... another... unbelievable... story to tell. I still remember the sinking sub, draino, the shotgun, swimming in the class five and an half rapids... yes indeed... and more. Usually not voluntary things, but... a few. Wee! What a ride! Later.
.
After a bit of looking, it may be possible to get the app to work on the computer as well. The requirement is that I have a Samsung smartphone of a certain sort. I have that, but will be exchanging that today. I suppose I will have to review what smartphones they have, which might work. I do like this app, it will be worth some extra checking.
The grocery store called. There were a few items on my order which weren't fully available. The bigger items missing made it much less expensive, the smaller added expenses were minor, plus I was able to order the button batteries I need for my glucometer, and to pay back the loan of such. I am rather excited to go in and just pick up my groceries! Much more convenient, for all involved.
After picking that up, I will head to the phone company, see about a new phone. I'll be able to transfer everything, I hope, and just factory wipe the new old phone. I'll get everything packaged for a return tomorrow. If it all works. Yes, a smartphone. But that one app makes it worth the... troubles. Bleh. Though I have a stargazer app I am learning to enjoy as well. I finally know where the north star is, how to find it, and can find it easily with incomplete data. A small thing, but just a start.
Oh, blood sugar is 121 several hours after breakfast. I did only have one, and skinless, chicken thigh, I guess that was right. All good!
I'd like to hit the dishes before I go, then get a shower. I'm not sure I can get them all, but I should be able to get to much. If I have time, on the way out, I will put another major load in to soak. If not, when I return. Then a nap. Life is doing well. I wonder if I will get hit by a meteor, meteorite, comet? on the way home, or out? Meh, I'd survive it, AND have a... another... unbelievable... story to tell. I still remember the sinking sub, draino, the shotgun, swimming in the class five and an half rapids... yes indeed... and more. Usually not voluntary things, but... a few. Wee! What a ride! Later.
Learning an app.
.
.
Bit by bit I am figuring out the food logging app "Lose It!". The first arrangements were simple. Just getting the food logging portion going. Okay, that was simple enough. And it seems accurate, going by blood sugar and weight loss. Perhaps. Then, I figured out how to put weight in, and set that up. I am roughly learning to train the app, for things like a fatted coffee... so I don't have to put the mixture ingredients in singularly, just let it set up my usual and one click that. I then added a macronutrient goal... micronutrient? Whatever. I set up a goal for carbs. I'm not sure I set it up right though.
Anyway. Each day I have been trying to sort some aspect or another of the app. Today I finished the rest of the... macronutrients, I believe. Along with carbohydrates, there are fats and proteins. Calories were set up at the start, as part of logging. At max weight loss, for within it's allowances, I am allowed 1655 calories... without activity. I had to reconfigure carbs today, and had to figure out how to dump certain goals. I couldn't get the percentage to list correctly, so went with grams... which took a bit of math and memory... plus removing the other goal.
As is, total, I have it set at 1,655 calories, 25 grams of carbs (max), 35% protein max (if I will inevitably go over, until I figure menus out) and 75% max for fats, which I actually want to be under... once I get well and deeply into keto. I don't think I am there. For now, fats are my goal. At that level, so as to cut carbs and proteins. I may have to go over calorie goals for a while, to get enough fat in, in order to obtain ketosis. Ugh!!!
Just... finally... have it all set up. But that is for optimal operation, AFTER I reach ketosis. Until then, I need to add extra fat, which means calories. Still, that will make cutting calories easy, in time. While in ketosis, consumption is almost a chore. I really need extra heavy cream. That is the easiest way to add fat. Tastiest too. Plus it has no carbs or protein. I'll... figure that out. Now that I have the app pretty much set up, I was able to plan. And... the plan requires a small amount of divergence.
Oh, the meat only goulash, leftover green beans, and skinless chicken thigh was a very nice breakfast. I only had one, as I offered one to Boss, if I'm not sure he will eat it. Will see in a while. I really wanted it, too. Still, good to share, or offer? Dunno. But it was quite good. Later.
.
Bit by bit I am figuring out the food logging app "Lose It!". The first arrangements were simple. Just getting the food logging portion going. Okay, that was simple enough. And it seems accurate, going by blood sugar and weight loss. Perhaps. Then, I figured out how to put weight in, and set that up. I am roughly learning to train the app, for things like a fatted coffee... so I don't have to put the mixture ingredients in singularly, just let it set up my usual and one click that. I then added a macronutrient goal... micronutrient? Whatever. I set up a goal for carbs. I'm not sure I set it up right though.
Anyway. Each day I have been trying to sort some aspect or another of the app. Today I finished the rest of the... macronutrients, I believe. Along with carbohydrates, there are fats and proteins. Calories were set up at the start, as part of logging. At max weight loss, for within it's allowances, I am allowed 1655 calories... without activity. I had to reconfigure carbs today, and had to figure out how to dump certain goals. I couldn't get the percentage to list correctly, so went with grams... which took a bit of math and memory... plus removing the other goal.
As is, total, I have it set at 1,655 calories, 25 grams of carbs (max), 35% protein max (if I will inevitably go over, until I figure menus out) and 75% max for fats, which I actually want to be under... once I get well and deeply into keto. I don't think I am there. For now, fats are my goal. At that level, so as to cut carbs and proteins. I may have to go over calorie goals for a while, to get enough fat in, in order to obtain ketosis. Ugh!!!
Just... finally... have it all set up. But that is for optimal operation, AFTER I reach ketosis. Until then, I need to add extra fat, which means calories. Still, that will make cutting calories easy, in time. While in ketosis, consumption is almost a chore. I really need extra heavy cream. That is the easiest way to add fat. Tastiest too. Plus it has no carbs or protein. I'll... figure that out. Now that I have the app pretty much set up, I was able to plan. And... the plan requires a small amount of divergence.
Oh, the meat only goulash, leftover green beans, and skinless chicken thigh was a very nice breakfast. I only had one, as I offered one to Boss, if I'm not sure he will eat it. Will see in a while. I really wanted it, too. Still, good to share, or offer? Dunno. But it was quite good. Later.
A bit rough, but good somehow.
.
.
I woke around seven, if I didn't get out of bed for an half hour. I wasn't sure it was time. Down at midnight, wanted to sleep to eight. After thinking on things, it seemed good enough.
It was 45° outside just now, 63° upstairs with the door shut but windows open and a few fans going, and 68° in the main... if because the furnace was on. My bad. Windows were open. Bleh. I can begin turning the furnace off at night, again, I think. At these temps, freezing isn't an issue, and I don't have a personal minimum. If it weren't for pipes, freezing temps wouldn't be a problem for me, especially while sleeping.
I did a bad, bad, thing. My version of goulash simply did not pan out... uhrm, literally. Tomato soup with burger? Sort of, yes. So... instead of going with wisdom, I ate pasta goulash. It wasn't bad. It wasn't perfect. But, then, my guests were late, they were. And food waits for no man! So, it was a bit overdone. And it was not salted. I thought I had. I hadn't. A bit of salt made it feasible. I just knew my blood sugar would be in the two hundreds, maybe higher, today.
Nope! Blood sugar is 135 fasting. Meh. Oh, but I will be cautious for a while. I think, with the remaining, of my, goulash, I will use it to baste the remaining chicken thighs, as well as for on hotdogs or brots later. A type of chili, sans beans. The pasta goulash I will toss immediately, before temptation gets the better of me. I can be such a weak man. And... food! I do love pasta. Once bitten, though, twice shy. Especially since I escaped disaster.
My body feels a bit rough. I have taken an extra dose of heart medicine the last few days. Even so, I missed a full day in there somewhere, other than the doses I caught up on. That and work, the last few days, scant as it was, has my body a bit in suffering mode. Innards, lower back, right bicep somehow, thighs, front leg muscles, and other things being drowned out by the more major complaints. I will try aspirin on these. This is what aspirin usually works well on. What aspirin doesn't seem to help with is the pains from falling behind on heart medicine. Nothing helps that.
It looks like youtube has again shut me out. So be it. It is what it is. I reset dishes. I don't have enough laundry to do another load. I will hit the remaining counters in a bit. Then hit the dishes, trim the beard this time, shower, and set up the final if significant portions of dishes. I am hoping to finish dishes and complete flats... counter spaces, today. Plus maybe shopping. I'd best get fresh tea going.
It should be a very good day, if it is going to hurt. If I can get the bathroom and kitchen down by Saturday, I'll take a hike. It might not be much. Just a quick trip, an half an hour to hour in... unless I can do more when out. Up into the Wellsville mountain... Wellsvilles? I've heard it, and seen it, both ways. I just don't know. I think it is, sort of, a mini-range to itself... not just one peak, anyway. Later.
.
I woke around seven, if I didn't get out of bed for an half hour. I wasn't sure it was time. Down at midnight, wanted to sleep to eight. After thinking on things, it seemed good enough.
It was 45° outside just now, 63° upstairs with the door shut but windows open and a few fans going, and 68° in the main... if because the furnace was on. My bad. Windows were open. Bleh. I can begin turning the furnace off at night, again, I think. At these temps, freezing isn't an issue, and I don't have a personal minimum. If it weren't for pipes, freezing temps wouldn't be a problem for me, especially while sleeping.
I did a bad, bad, thing. My version of goulash simply did not pan out... uhrm, literally. Tomato soup with burger? Sort of, yes. So... instead of going with wisdom, I ate pasta goulash. It wasn't bad. It wasn't perfect. But, then, my guests were late, they were. And food waits for no man! So, it was a bit overdone. And it was not salted. I thought I had. I hadn't. A bit of salt made it feasible. I just knew my blood sugar would be in the two hundreds, maybe higher, today.
Nope! Blood sugar is 135 fasting. Meh. Oh, but I will be cautious for a while. I think, with the remaining, of my, goulash, I will use it to baste the remaining chicken thighs, as well as for on hotdogs or brots later. A type of chili, sans beans. The pasta goulash I will toss immediately, before temptation gets the better of me. I can be such a weak man. And... food! I do love pasta. Once bitten, though, twice shy. Especially since I escaped disaster.
My body feels a bit rough. I have taken an extra dose of heart medicine the last few days. Even so, I missed a full day in there somewhere, other than the doses I caught up on. That and work, the last few days, scant as it was, has my body a bit in suffering mode. Innards, lower back, right bicep somehow, thighs, front leg muscles, and other things being drowned out by the more major complaints. I will try aspirin on these. This is what aspirin usually works well on. What aspirin doesn't seem to help with is the pains from falling behind on heart medicine. Nothing helps that.
It looks like youtube has again shut me out. So be it. It is what it is. I reset dishes. I don't have enough laundry to do another load. I will hit the remaining counters in a bit. Then hit the dishes, trim the beard this time, shower, and set up the final if significant portions of dishes. I am hoping to finish dishes and complete flats... counter spaces, today. Plus maybe shopping. I'd best get fresh tea going.
It should be a very good day, if it is going to hurt. If I can get the bathroom and kitchen down by Saturday, I'll take a hike. It might not be much. Just a quick trip, an half an hour to hour in... unless I can do more when out. Up into the Wellsville mountain... Wellsvilles? I've heard it, and seen it, both ways. I just don't know. I think it is, sort of, a mini-range to itself... not just one peak, anyway. Later.
Wednesday, September 2, 2020
A bit more.
.
.
Dishes are being reset, went cold. A late lunch is being implemented. Chicken salad, not saladified chicken, chicken with lettuce and dressing. As well, I found tomato for goulash. I could only find pureed, but it will do... mostly. The counter for dishes has been cleared and cleaned. The last load of laundry is out.
I am absolute wiped. I will try to get that last load of dishes cycled, after I have some food. Oh, and I did start to read the book on mental prayers. I've just gotten a few pages in. I may read more before a nap. I did turn the ac on upstairs. It was showing 68°, but if I were up there long it would rise. Yea, I need it cool to nap.
Bits and pieces. I am getting somewhere. Nowhere fast, not a lot, but enough. Enough to do more, when and as I can. Later.
.
Dishes are being reset, went cold. A late lunch is being implemented. Chicken salad, not saladified chicken, chicken with lettuce and dressing. As well, I found tomato for goulash. I could only find pureed, but it will do... mostly. The counter for dishes has been cleared and cleaned. The last load of laundry is out.
I am absolute wiped. I will try to get that last load of dishes cycled, after I have some food. Oh, and I did start to read the book on mental prayers. I've just gotten a few pages in. I may read more before a nap. I did turn the ac on upstairs. It was showing 68°, but if I were up there long it would rise. Yea, I need it cool to nap.
Bits and pieces. I am getting somewhere. Nowhere fast, not a lot, but enough. Enough to do more, when and as I can. Later.
It warmed a bit out there.
.
.
I haven't been doing much today. More than the last week? The area has been cleared for dishes, a few more areas are about to be hit... cleared already nearly, to be washed. One load of dishes done. One load of laundry out on the line, another put in. The big load of dishes is being set to a hot rinse, so it is easier to dry.
Eggs were boiled. Three for breakfast, and a fatted coffee. Blood sugar is reading 125 again. Hmm, still haven't dosed. I'd like to see where this goes, eating carefully, without insulin. The device needs a new battery, again, though. I actually need two. A replacement for one borrowed. I don't know why they do me kindly, but they do. And... I appreciate it. My paranoia is annoying, but... it is what it is, and things are what they are.
I am starting to feel a bit off. So I will have lunch. Two, heated, chicken thighs... sadly skinless, cleaned from the bone, heated... on a salad with an italian or balsamic vinaigrette. Not much, but it'll do. As for supper? If I do make goulash, I will definitely have to do a double pan thing. My initial review of carbs for that were 17, but... that was an odd variant. With noodles, one serving is 37 grams of carbs and 400 calories. My limit is 20 grams for the whole day, of which I have had around three to five, and calories would be okay, save no room for seconds! Ugh. I have to find tomatoes. I am sure I have some around somewhere.
Dishes, another load of laundry out when it's done, goulash probably, perhaps a nap. It is 77° out there, 70° in the main, 73° up here. A nice day. Glad the warmth came back a bit. But summer has definitely broken. As well, I have a book about Catholic based meditation I wish to consider. Still, that I can pray in dreams when the flesh doesn't allow wakeful praying? That's... gotta count for something? :p It truly is a gift, a grace. I can pray for hours upon hours, and listen for days, in there. Sometimes it's all I have. Days? In a dream that last moments? Yea. I told you, it was a gift. I can stretch time in there... live lives... do... much.
I'm catching up, and keeping up, on medicine. I wont' go back more than to yesterday, but... that leaves one missed dose, then, for nearing two months. I... can handle that. Well, I best get to lunch, then on to dishes and laundry. Oh, and finding tomato, for goulash. Life is a bit rough, but... I'll... make it. I did order, for pickup, from my store. That, if it all works, will make life a bit easier. Later.
.
I haven't been doing much today. More than the last week? The area has been cleared for dishes, a few more areas are about to be hit... cleared already nearly, to be washed. One load of dishes done. One load of laundry out on the line, another put in. The big load of dishes is being set to a hot rinse, so it is easier to dry.
Eggs were boiled. Three for breakfast, and a fatted coffee. Blood sugar is reading 125 again. Hmm, still haven't dosed. I'd like to see where this goes, eating carefully, without insulin. The device needs a new battery, again, though. I actually need two. A replacement for one borrowed. I don't know why they do me kindly, but they do. And... I appreciate it. My paranoia is annoying, but... it is what it is, and things are what they are.
I am starting to feel a bit off. So I will have lunch. Two, heated, chicken thighs... sadly skinless, cleaned from the bone, heated... on a salad with an italian or balsamic vinaigrette. Not much, but it'll do. As for supper? If I do make goulash, I will definitely have to do a double pan thing. My initial review of carbs for that were 17, but... that was an odd variant. With noodles, one serving is 37 grams of carbs and 400 calories. My limit is 20 grams for the whole day, of which I have had around three to five, and calories would be okay, save no room for seconds! Ugh. I have to find tomatoes. I am sure I have some around somewhere.
Dishes, another load of laundry out when it's done, goulash probably, perhaps a nap. It is 77° out there, 70° in the main, 73° up here. A nice day. Glad the warmth came back a bit. But summer has definitely broken. As well, I have a book about Catholic based meditation I wish to consider. Still, that I can pray in dreams when the flesh doesn't allow wakeful praying? That's... gotta count for something? :p It truly is a gift, a grace. I can pray for hours upon hours, and listen for days, in there. Sometimes it's all I have. Days? In a dream that last moments? Yea. I told you, it was a gift. I can stretch time in there... live lives... do... much.
I'm catching up, and keeping up, on medicine. I wont' go back more than to yesterday, but... that leaves one missed dose, then, for nearing two months. I... can handle that. Well, I best get to lunch, then on to dishes and laundry. Oh, and finding tomato, for goulash. Life is a bit rough, but... I'll... make it. I did order, for pickup, from my store. That, if it all works, will make life a bit easier. Later.
A long danged nap!
.
.
I got a few more things done, if nothing near even half the list, then had to crash. I figured a few hours would do. That was at 16:00 to half past. I just woke at 03:30 or so. Yea. Crashed is the operative word. Chastity has been kept, and prayer life has been continuing as possible. Sometimes, as with this last crash, I hit so hard when I go to bed that reliable conscious prayer isn't possible. I seem to dream pray though. How does that work? I'm... not quite sure. When the body fails, the mind can pick up the slack and I pray even while asleep. It's about all I can tell you about it.
I didn't, then, end up making goulash or eating supper of any sort. Still, I realized, later in the day, that I haven't been taking meds, again, or insulin, either. I had stopped insulin while fasting. Of course. But had forgotten to restart when I began eating today. I knew my blood sugar would be bogus high. So, after waking and realizing, I tested. It is 125 fasting. Hmm... well... okay.
I am limiting artificial sweetener to four to five drops per half gallon, three per quart of fatted coffee. And, with it being cool, I am drinking a goodly lot less, maybe a gallon of tea rather than three, if adding an extra fatted coffee per day... if I often drank two, just not always. With the cool to cold, the hot tea or coffee is a plus.
The furnace is still on 68°, which keeps this front room 66°. Dressing for it, that is eminently doable. for me. It's actually a pleasure. As winter actually arrives, this room will become frigid, which is fine by me and the computer. I have a sheet blocking the front and back areas, it just works better. It gives me zones of varying comfort, winter and summer.
I would still like to get propane burners for this, the bedroom and master bedroom's bath and the master bedroom itself, plus in the garage. But that would be after a furnace, electrical upgrades, restoration of the second (master bedroom's) bath, and work to turn the garage into an insulated shop. Which... means it's a pipe dream. Still, it is a dream. Having propane is a good secondary source, if limited to some degree. Having two ways to heat parts of the environment, in a winter climate, is a good thing. There are other options, if dangers and many limits with those, too. Bleh.
Oh, I keep forgetting regular medicine as well. It's the cold, brings me low. Makes me sleepy. It was a sudden and drastic change. I do my best when the world quits on me, but... I... have limits. That is all there is to it. I will keep trying. Hmm... breakfast? I think I'll have a skinless chicken salad? Or should I boil eggs and have a few of those, with a fatted coffee? I'm going to for eggs, actually. I have no standards, of what seems right for breakfast, or wrong for it. Food is food, save mood. It's, just... I want to have a bigger meal later. Two duck eggs and a fatted drink is a nice, light, meal. Oh, and back to the list. I think I can, I know I can... in time. Today is time! Later.
.
I got a few more things done, if nothing near even half the list, then had to crash. I figured a few hours would do. That was at 16:00 to half past. I just woke at 03:30 or so. Yea. Crashed is the operative word. Chastity has been kept, and prayer life has been continuing as possible. Sometimes, as with this last crash, I hit so hard when I go to bed that reliable conscious prayer isn't possible. I seem to dream pray though. How does that work? I'm... not quite sure. When the body fails, the mind can pick up the slack and I pray even while asleep. It's about all I can tell you about it.
I didn't, then, end up making goulash or eating supper of any sort. Still, I realized, later in the day, that I haven't been taking meds, again, or insulin, either. I had stopped insulin while fasting. Of course. But had forgotten to restart when I began eating today. I knew my blood sugar would be bogus high. So, after waking and realizing, I tested. It is 125 fasting. Hmm... well... okay.
I am limiting artificial sweetener to four to five drops per half gallon, three per quart of fatted coffee. And, with it being cool, I am drinking a goodly lot less, maybe a gallon of tea rather than three, if adding an extra fatted coffee per day... if I often drank two, just not always. With the cool to cold, the hot tea or coffee is a plus.
The furnace is still on 68°, which keeps this front room 66°. Dressing for it, that is eminently doable. for me. It's actually a pleasure. As winter actually arrives, this room will become frigid, which is fine by me and the computer. I have a sheet blocking the front and back areas, it just works better. It gives me zones of varying comfort, winter and summer.
I would still like to get propane burners for this, the bedroom and master bedroom's bath and the master bedroom itself, plus in the garage. But that would be after a furnace, electrical upgrades, restoration of the second (master bedroom's) bath, and work to turn the garage into an insulated shop. Which... means it's a pipe dream. Still, it is a dream. Having propane is a good secondary source, if limited to some degree. Having two ways to heat parts of the environment, in a winter climate, is a good thing. There are other options, if dangers and many limits with those, too. Bleh.
Oh, I keep forgetting regular medicine as well. It's the cold, brings me low. Makes me sleepy. It was a sudden and drastic change. I do my best when the world quits on me, but... I... have limits. That is all there is to it. I will keep trying. Hmm... breakfast? I think I'll have a skinless chicken salad? Or should I boil eggs and have a few of those, with a fatted coffee? I'm going to for eggs, actually. I have no standards, of what seems right for breakfast, or wrong for it. Food is food, save mood. It's, just... I want to have a bigger meal later. Two duck eggs and a fatted drink is a nice, light, meal. Oh, and back to the list. I think I can, I know I can... in time. Today is time! Later.
Tuesday, September 1, 2020
Food and... women?
.
.
Food first. It doesn't give me problems. Or... as many.
I got the chicken cooked, let it set, and had my one thigh. Oh, I tried to keep it at one thigh. Not a chance. It was absolutely fantastic. I ate the ones which had been sprinkled with all the usual spices, salt, and pepper, but mild pepper flakes. Just tea with it. I was afraid that would kill the rest of the day... for food.
Not so much. My error is survivable. I still have 385 calories for supper, plus 177 calories for snacks. I don't snack! So... I went looking at calories, for two skinless thighs, 14 ounces of romaine lettuce (though as few calories as are there, I could go with more if I am hungry... a lot more, double. As well, I looked up balsamic vinaigrette. Ooooh! Nice. It's 50 calories a tablespoon. If I have if figured correctly, I could have two tablespoons of that with the chicken salad!
Just tea. No extras for drinks. Yes, I am eating too much protein. I... get that. Too much protein turns into carbs, effectively. So, yea, I will be working on that. I knew that, just not quantifiably. Now I know. But, life is good. I doubt supper with Boss, it is only in the sixties, last I looked, out there. Who knows though. As I continue to work, I am hoping to also put a goulash together. I won't have any tonight, maybe not at all. But it will be ready for a quick heat and serve. Probably.
Dishes? I'm about to check laundry, actually. Dishes got my first burst, then chicken and some cleaning. Now laundry, out and up, as well a new load going. If that works well enough, I may hit one batch of dishes. Then maybe some counters and the stovetop. Then probably a bit of a break. Hopefully, when I get to the last load of dishes, there will be an easy place to sort, dry, and let air dry a bit more.
The next step is a shower. A trim first, then a shower. Assuming I get the areas cleaned so as to finish dishes. Then another load out to dry... I still dryer dry my unders... no reason to air even clean knickers. Everything else can go out. Hmm, I really ought to get a few indoor hanging areas set up. Then I could still hang my drawers. It doesn't save really all that much. It's... the idea. And, I like them air dried a bit better, I think?
.
Food first. It doesn't give me problems. Or... as many.
I got the chicken cooked, let it set, and had my one thigh. Oh, I tried to keep it at one thigh. Not a chance. It was absolutely fantastic. I ate the ones which had been sprinkled with all the usual spices, salt, and pepper, but mild pepper flakes. Just tea with it. I was afraid that would kill the rest of the day... for food.
Not so much. My error is survivable. I still have 385 calories for supper, plus 177 calories for snacks. I don't snack! So... I went looking at calories, for two skinless thighs, 14 ounces of romaine lettuce (though as few calories as are there, I could go with more if I am hungry... a lot more, double. As well, I looked up balsamic vinaigrette. Ooooh! Nice. It's 50 calories a tablespoon. If I have if figured correctly, I could have two tablespoons of that with the chicken salad!
Just tea. No extras for drinks. Yes, I am eating too much protein. I... get that. Too much protein turns into carbs, effectively. So, yea, I will be working on that. I knew that, just not quantifiably. Now I know. But, life is good. I doubt supper with Boss, it is only in the sixties, last I looked, out there. Who knows though. As I continue to work, I am hoping to also put a goulash together. I won't have any tonight, maybe not at all. But it will be ready for a quick heat and serve. Probably.
Dishes? I'm about to check laundry, actually. Dishes got my first burst, then chicken and some cleaning. Now laundry, out and up, as well a new load going. If that works well enough, I may hit one batch of dishes. Then maybe some counters and the stovetop. Then probably a bit of a break. Hopefully, when I get to the last load of dishes, there will be an easy place to sort, dry, and let air dry a bit more.
The next step is a shower. A trim first, then a shower. Assuming I get the areas cleaned so as to finish dishes. Then another load out to dry... I still dryer dry my unders... no reason to air even clean knickers. Everything else can go out. Hmm, I really ought to get a few indoor hanging areas set up. Then I could still hang my drawers. It doesn't save really all that much. It's... the idea. And, I like them air dried a bit better, I think?
A very cool morning.
.
.
I had to run the furnace. Which is fine. Just to 68°. I plan to keep it about there through the winter. Sure, once in a while, if I really need to get going, perhaps up to 72°. That makes taking a shower much easier. Once warmed by the shower, life is good. But, after weeks or months of cold, getting into the shower can be a chore. Wow, it was 32° out there. I just had to check. That is right at freezing. On the good side, the sun is out, blazing, with nary a cloud in the sky... at least to the east or from what I can see. If... my eyeballs are a bit dosed from looking at the bright shiny.
Two loads of dishes were actually set up. A load of laundry was put in, another one will go in shortly. In a bit, I will put the laundry out on the line. And the other load too, hopefully. I will have a second coffee. I already added that to the breakfast list. I need to heat. With cream, though if I decide on another, it will be plain. Yea, warmth is much needed.
A sweater, socks, winter pj's, perhaps I'll look for a cap too. This front, the computer, room isn't actually heated. It gets some from the rest of the cave, but is rather cooler for now. The sun may change that, but for now it is rather cold. Hmm... I wonder where my silk undergloves are. I use them for, literally, under heavier gloves. Added heat, but also, should I need to remover my thicker gloves or mittens, I still have some protection from the cold. My plan to go winter camping will need some serious gear and prep. You can die out there, losing fingers and toes is much easier though could easily lead to failures that lead to death. I don't mind dying, I don't want to die a fool. God says no, I'll abide His will until that goes another way, in spirit, law, and practice.
In an hour, I will check laundry, hit the dishes, hopefully trim my whiskers and shower. I probably can't do all of that at once, but I will do it in parts, over a few hours. Another load of laundry, a small one, after that. Hmm, I probably should sweep the bathroom before bathing or dishes. Water has a way of getting everywhere... especially with even a minor giant at play. After else, perhaps mopping in the bathroom... though, really, cleaning counters in the kitchen would be priority. Then mopping? I am no sure how much I can do. I'm not sure I can do the first parts. But... it's... just rolling off the planning stage, in the mind.
Oh, somewhere in there, actually fairly shortly, I will be putting chicken in the oven. I get one, hot, whole, skin on. The rest will be allowed to cool, later added to a salad. Perhaps warmed before adding. The rest will be leftovers for throughout the week. Oh, I best get some eggs boiled as well. A dozen or so really would be good food... snacks even... through the week. I wonder how many calories those are... my app says 130 calories per. A couple do easily. Sometimes one is good... just to keep hunger and energy in trim.
Anyway... yes... But that it dropped to freezing, actually, threw me. Plus I wanted to share my pleasure that some things are moving along. Maybe it'll make your day a bit easier to start.
.
I had to run the furnace. Which is fine. Just to 68°. I plan to keep it about there through the winter. Sure, once in a while, if I really need to get going, perhaps up to 72°. That makes taking a shower much easier. Once warmed by the shower, life is good. But, after weeks or months of cold, getting into the shower can be a chore. Wow, it was 32° out there. I just had to check. That is right at freezing. On the good side, the sun is out, blazing, with nary a cloud in the sky... at least to the east or from what I can see. If... my eyeballs are a bit dosed from looking at the bright shiny.
Two loads of dishes were actually set up. A load of laundry was put in, another one will go in shortly. In a bit, I will put the laundry out on the line. And the other load too, hopefully. I will have a second coffee. I already added that to the breakfast list. I need to heat. With cream, though if I decide on another, it will be plain. Yea, warmth is much needed.
A sweater, socks, winter pj's, perhaps I'll look for a cap too. This front, the computer, room isn't actually heated. It gets some from the rest of the cave, but is rather cooler for now. The sun may change that, but for now it is rather cold. Hmm... I wonder where my silk undergloves are. I use them for, literally, under heavier gloves. Added heat, but also, should I need to remover my thicker gloves or mittens, I still have some protection from the cold. My plan to go winter camping will need some serious gear and prep. You can die out there, losing fingers and toes is much easier though could easily lead to failures that lead to death. I don't mind dying, I don't want to die a fool. God says no, I'll abide His will until that goes another way, in spirit, law, and practice.
In an hour, I will check laundry, hit the dishes, hopefully trim my whiskers and shower. I probably can't do all of that at once, but I will do it in parts, over a few hours. Another load of laundry, a small one, after that. Hmm, I probably should sweep the bathroom before bathing or dishes. Water has a way of getting everywhere... especially with even a minor giant at play. After else, perhaps mopping in the bathroom... though, really, cleaning counters in the kitchen would be priority. Then mopping? I am no sure how much I can do. I'm not sure I can do the first parts. But... it's... just rolling off the planning stage, in the mind.
Oh, somewhere in there, actually fairly shortly, I will be putting chicken in the oven. I get one, hot, whole, skin on. The rest will be allowed to cool, later added to a salad. Perhaps warmed before adding. The rest will be leftovers for throughout the week. Oh, I best get some eggs boiled as well. A dozen or so really would be good food... snacks even... through the week. I wonder how many calories those are... my app says 130 calories per. A couple do easily. Sometimes one is good... just to keep hunger and energy in trim.
Anyway... yes... But that it dropped to freezing, actually, threw me. Plus I wanted to share my pleasure that some things are moving along. Maybe it'll make your day a bit easier to start.
I am a disbeliever.
.
.
No, having nothing to do with God. God? I know is real. So... I suppose I am no longer, technically, a commonly termed believer. Knowing has nothing to do with faith, or belief. I saw, otherwise sensed. God is. I would die before denying it. At this point, denying would be... essentially... a sin against the Holy Ghost. It would be the worst form of death.
This is dealing with diet, weight loss, and such. Impossible. Even when I eat right, by my understanding, and do this and that... or not but keep inactivity in consideration... I haven't been able to lose weight. So... why would this be different, this time? I don't know. Perhaps, I thought, that tracking food might actually make a difference? Aye, but could it curb appetite? Bah!
So, I weighed in three days ago. I put in 280, but it was actually 281.6... I believe. I just... I don't know... was being a bit of a spoiler? Being a punk? A bit. Yes. And I have been logging, and approximating consumption. It seems probably fairly accurately. My guru suggested weighing in daily, but I... in spite of trusting... didn't... believe? Didn't want to face the truth of failure? Didn't... believe... I just didn't believe, so didn't want to know it was false.
I decided to eat today. Breakfast was and will be two ounces of salami and cream cheese, half a cup of diced yellow onions, and a fatted coffee using a tablespoon and an half of cream. That was about 586 calories (ish). That leaves nearly 1100 calories for the rest of the day. I have chicken thighs brining. One or two in a salad, skinless, one with skin on, warm. That'll be about six to eight hundred calories, I would guess... leaving just a bit more for a supper.
Yes, I found the scale, pulled it out, cleaned it up, and pressed it into service. I measured, within reason. An extra .2 ounces on the salamin, if only 1.9 ounces of cream cheese... there are limits to fuss. And I accounted for the differences in the food log... it allows for less than whole numbers. I will, from now on, weight everything. I suppose I could go to grams, but I don't see that as all that much different. But, the food wars have begun they have.
And? I stepped on the scale. Of course, there would be no difference. I would have lost nothing. I knew that. I was quite wrong. In three days, if two days of fasting, I have gone from 281.6 to 276.1... a five and an half pound change. It couldn't be water loss. I take large doses of the water pill. If anything, I have missed at least one of those, so am probably holding on to more than usual water! No... that was weight loss!
Okay, I am hooked. There... might be something to this. Of course, figuring out which foods, how much, and in my particular situation, is another thing. The food blogger helps, but I really need a bit more foresight. Just plugging in, then adjusting consumption values, is a bit dangerous. I need to attempt to create near weekly food plans. This is much more difficult than they say. You really can't just wing it.
Still, that was... a wakeup call. I am really interested. Yeah. This might actually work. I have decided I probably won't go too far. Perhaps to 240? I don't want the flaps of skin. Some people think that is okay, I just don't. Some proportion between appearance and health will be good enough. I wonder how much skin removal would cost. Seriously, I won't have extra skin hanging off me for years, or decades... something is just... wrong with that... to my mind. I have never heard of anyone getting rid of that naturally. Anyway... I would be happy at 240... it might not be perfect, but it would be better. Perhaps enough to become active... more active.
I'm still not a complete believer. It might be a fluke. It might not be sustainable. It might be just from fasting in a way I can't necessarily maintain. But... I am going to go ahead, as full steam as possible. There... is some hope. Then again, when I went into this, hope was all I had, for faith was nonexistent and charity, on this matter, was long gone. We will see.
.
No, having nothing to do with God. God? I know is real. So... I suppose I am no longer, technically, a commonly termed believer. Knowing has nothing to do with faith, or belief. I saw, otherwise sensed. God is. I would die before denying it. At this point, denying would be... essentially... a sin against the Holy Ghost. It would be the worst form of death.
This is dealing with diet, weight loss, and such. Impossible. Even when I eat right, by my understanding, and do this and that... or not but keep inactivity in consideration... I haven't been able to lose weight. So... why would this be different, this time? I don't know. Perhaps, I thought, that tracking food might actually make a difference? Aye, but could it curb appetite? Bah!
So, I weighed in three days ago. I put in 280, but it was actually 281.6... I believe. I just... I don't know... was being a bit of a spoiler? Being a punk? A bit. Yes. And I have been logging, and approximating consumption. It seems probably fairly accurately. My guru suggested weighing in daily, but I... in spite of trusting... didn't... believe? Didn't want to face the truth of failure? Didn't... believe... I just didn't believe, so didn't want to know it was false.
I decided to eat today. Breakfast was and will be two ounces of salami and cream cheese, half a cup of diced yellow onions, and a fatted coffee using a tablespoon and an half of cream. That was about 586 calories (ish). That leaves nearly 1100 calories for the rest of the day. I have chicken thighs brining. One or two in a salad, skinless, one with skin on, warm. That'll be about six to eight hundred calories, I would guess... leaving just a bit more for a supper.
Yes, I found the scale, pulled it out, cleaned it up, and pressed it into service. I measured, within reason. An extra .2 ounces on the salamin, if only 1.9 ounces of cream cheese... there are limits to fuss. And I accounted for the differences in the food log... it allows for less than whole numbers. I will, from now on, weight everything. I suppose I could go to grams, but I don't see that as all that much different. But, the food wars have begun they have.
And? I stepped on the scale. Of course, there would be no difference. I would have lost nothing. I knew that. I was quite wrong. In three days, if two days of fasting, I have gone from 281.6 to 276.1... a five and an half pound change. It couldn't be water loss. I take large doses of the water pill. If anything, I have missed at least one of those, so am probably holding on to more than usual water! No... that was weight loss!
Okay, I am hooked. There... might be something to this. Of course, figuring out which foods, how much, and in my particular situation, is another thing. The food blogger helps, but I really need a bit more foresight. Just plugging in, then adjusting consumption values, is a bit dangerous. I need to attempt to create near weekly food plans. This is much more difficult than they say. You really can't just wing it.
Still, that was... a wakeup call. I am really interested. Yeah. This might actually work. I have decided I probably won't go too far. Perhaps to 240? I don't want the flaps of skin. Some people think that is okay, I just don't. Some proportion between appearance and health will be good enough. I wonder how much skin removal would cost. Seriously, I won't have extra skin hanging off me for years, or decades... something is just... wrong with that... to my mind. I have never heard of anyone getting rid of that naturally. Anyway... I would be happy at 240... it might not be perfect, but it would be better. Perhaps enough to become active... more active.
I'm still not a complete believer. It might be a fluke. It might not be sustainable. It might be just from fasting in a way I can't necessarily maintain. But... I am going to go ahead, as full steam as possible. There... is some hope. Then again, when I went into this, hope was all I had, for faith was nonexistent and charity, on this matter, was long gone. We will see.
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